Jem and the Holograms... Not Outrageous

[Psyren]

Just... why?

http://www.hitfix.com/harpy/first-official-jem-and-the-holograms-photos-are-anything-but-outrageous

http://www.forbes.com/sites/scottmendelson/2015/05/12/jem-and-the-holograms-trailer-is-not-so-outrageous/


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfa9t-TeeVU

It's Hannah Montana with pink hair. And Facebook. They could have called this movie literally anything else and not changed a thing.

She gets discovered and signed by a record company instead of, you know, owning and managing one. No orphanage. No Misfits. No Synergy??? (Okay, she says "Showtime Synergy" for half a second in the trailer - while she's already in costume - so god knows what that even does.)

The trailer uses freaking One Direction music!!!

What is this I don't even

[HardcoreD&Dgirl]

Just... why?

http://www.hitfix.com/harpy/first-official-jem-and-the-holograms-photos-are-anything-but-outrageous

http://www.forbes.com/sites/scottmendelson/2015/05/12/jem-and-the-holograms-trailer-is-not-so-outrageous/


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfa9t-TeeVU

It's Hannah Montana with pink hair. And Facebook. They could have called this movie literally anything else and not changed a thing.

She gets discovered and signed by a record company instead of, you know, owning and managing one. No orphanage. No Misfits. No Synergy??? (Okay, she says "Showtime Synergy" for half a second in the trailer - while she's already in costume - so god knows what that even does.)

The trailer uses freaking One Direction music!!!

What is this I don't even

Jem is a hero of mine... it was silly and not great, but it gave me chills when I heard of a live action version...

this is not Jem. Not even close. The story at it's heart is a power fantasy with a transformation. The starlight house is also important it shows how much she cares. The action in the cartoon was weird, but this had so much potential...

[JoshL]

Always disappointed that the cartoon didn't feature Danzig-era Misfits :smallwink:

But yeah, this does look pretty terrible.

[Kitten Champion]

Why... bother?

The target audience for this is clearly too young to have watched Jem and the Holograms in the first place. It's not like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Transformers where they kept releasing properties for the past three decades so they could continue to sell toys under that license. There aren't multiple iterations of Jem for which this is just another, and nothing has been keeping it in the public consciousness beyond nostalgic thirty-somethings and I sincerely doubt they'll be happy with something that's so banal I was forgetting it as I was watching it from a show known for its over-the-top 80's glam rock cheesiness.

[BWR]

I didn't even like Jem and I'm offended by this. (you know, as offended one is over hobbies that you don't really care about)

[Reverent-One]

Okay, she says "Showtime Synergy" for half a second in the trailer - while she's already in costume - so god knows what that even does.

It's super auto-tune! :smallwink:

[Psyren]

Jem is a hero of mine... it was silly and not great, but it gave me chills when I heard of a live action version...

this is not Jem. Not even close. The story at it's heart is a power fantasy with a transformation. The starlight house is also important it shows how much she cares. The action in the cartoon was weird, but this had so much potential...

What's worse is that there appear to be no real stakes other than "fame and fortune can be hard." Boo-hoo Jem.

And the look is bland an uninspired, perhaps the biggest crime of all. You can update Jem to modern aesthetics without losing the "outrageous" - the comics managed to pull it off quite well. (And with The Misfits, no less!)

https://leagueofextraordinarycosplayers.files.wordpress.co m/2014/12/jem-comic-2.jpg?w=640

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--KVOYueZO--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/vy7ksncmsvrrmcxdrkwd.jpg

Here's some things they could have done to make it much more interesting.

- Jerrica and Kimber inherit the Starlight Music record company and Starlight Foundation (the non-profit orphanage) from their father like in the original. Despite Jerrica's young age (mid-late teens?) and self-consciousness, she is a talented singer and uncannily gifted at running the company - however, her ideas are ignored and most of her powers of ownership are diluted as the company is largely held in trust until she comes of age, thus her efforts to actually become a trailblazer are being constantly stymied by the stereotypical Hollywood Evil Corporation that has the company in an iron fist.

- The Hollywood Evil Corporation has most of the power until she comes of age. {Evil Executive} is enjoying (and embezzling) major success by having signed the Misfits to the label as their headline act - or at least so it seems on paper. The reality is that the Misfits, while they draw crowds, are bad apples that cost the company nearly as much in paying for their destroyed venues/hotel rooms, vandalism, assault charges and other legal troubles as they make in concert and album sales. Their presence at Starlight is beginning to drag Jerrica's name and her father's through the mud, and while the Evil Executive is keeping things afloat by using the orphanage to write off these expenses and cook the books, combined with the embezzlement and the ultimate plans to take over the company from Jerrica once things get bad enough, the long-term prospects of Starlight look bleak. By the time Jerrica comes of age, there may no longer be a company to run, and the orphanage may be forced to close its doors too, keeping the stakes high. If the company fails, what few assets remain will end up controlled fully by the Evil Executive.

- Jerrica's sister Kimber meanwhile is the much more genius/tech-savvy of the two. This keeps our protagonist as the everyman and clearly delineates their personalities. Kimber knows her sister would be talented both as Starlight's main attraction and as its CEO, but Jerrica's lack of self-esteem and the legal tangles they are both caught in are keeping them from greatness.

- At some point during all of this first act chaos, Kimber finds an anomaly of some kind in Starlight's systems that helps them uncover their father's true secret - Synergy. I would heavily play up the sci-fi angle here - she has a full-blown AI in her basement for chrissakes. Unlike most AI in movies that simply eat Wikipedia and become very Spock-like and clinical/logical, this one has an affinity for humanity's music and pop culture, and particular fondness for the 80's. And of course, it has the power to generate full-body holograms nearly anywhere in Jerrica's vicinity through her earrings.

- With Synergy's help, Jerrica and Kimber are able to discover a loophole in the legal documents - Jerrica lacks creative and financial control until she comes of age, but does have the right to sign a band of her own to the label. By signing a sufficiently talented group, she can right the company's fast sinking ship. The obvious choice talent-wise is herself, but she can't officially do that, so with Synergy's help she comes up with an alternate persona to play the role - namely - Jem. Kimber writes their music, and Aja/Shana are recruited from the orphanage where the four girls spent their days unwinding by singing for the other orphans in the past. Thus Jem and the Holograms are born, and begin to counter both the evil aspirations of the Executive as well as the destructive impulses of the Misfits, and stand a chance at keeping the company afloat and in Jerrica's hands until such time as she can oust the executive permanently.


There's also a lot of room for comedy here. The Misfits can be used to humorously lampshade a lot of negative tropes in modern pop music - heavy use of autotune, drug use, prima donna behavior, mistreating their fans, and collaborating with an equally off-putting Lil' Wayne sendup for jarring and generic rap solos along the lines of "I'll Transform Ya". All that can be in addition to the bad stuff the Misfits normally do.

[Legato Endless]

Just what the world needed. Another generic coming of age story mediating on the American Dream and how fame and fortune corrupt absolutely.

Meh.

I have nothing really to add. This film had the potential to go completely bonkers and be a visual spectacle if nothing else, something so shamelessly hideously beautifully 80s even people like me who were born after Jem became a thing might go see it. Instead they're marketing to a pretty singular demographic. Synergy is probably some pocket pal earring day minder or something.

I'd be willing to forgive a lot if it even looked visually interesting. I was expecting when I heard this announced for some truly gonzo cosplay style outfits. Nope. It's just...face paint. As half assed corporate remakes go, this might take the cake for this decade.

[DigoDragon]

Pretty much agreeing with prior posts. Seems like a "In name only" kind of movie.

[Zmeoaice]

996+ likes

5630+ dislikes

lol wow

[TheThan]

True, it doesn't seem very outrageous.

[BWR]

True, it doesn't seem very outrageous.

On the contrary, the outrage seems to be loud and widespread. :smallwink:

[Rodin]

Why... bother?

The target audience for this is clearly too young to have watched Jem and the Holograms in the first place. It's not like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Transformers where they kept releasing properties for the past three decades so they could continue to sell toys under that license. There aren't multiple iterations of Jem for which this is just another, and nothing has been keeping it in the public consciousness beyond nostalgic thirty-somethings and I sincerely doubt they'll be happy with something that's so banal I was forgetting it as I was watching it from a show known for its over-the-top 80's glam rock cheesiness.

This is what's baffles me the most about it. When they made the Smurfs movie, it was obviously meant for the parents who grew up on the Smurfs more than kids it was ostensibly aimed at, since the kids in question would never have even heard of the Smurfs. If they were going to try and pull the same stunt with Jem, they'd have to actually make reference to the source material. Which they didn't.

I really do think someone came up with a Hannah Montana movie, got told that they don't have the rights to that, then rummaged through their basement of "stuff we have rights for but never want to use" and found something that vaguely fit the bill.

[The Troubadour]

I have to agree. I'm not a fan, but I was very curious about seeing "Jem" on the big screen. Now, it's just "eh".
The worst part, I think, is that if the movie bombs at the box office, the executives will probably blame it on "Jem" being a "girly" product.

[Metahuman1]

Jem, I give you your version of Not G.I. Joe live action movies and Bayformers.


And this is why if they do a MLP movie I want it to be animated.

[Psyren]

Mary Sue nails it. (http://www.themarysue.com/jem-movie-misses-the-point/)

[Legato Endless]

Jem, I give you your version of Not G.I. Joe live action movies and Bayformers.


And this is why if they do a MLP movie I want it to be animated.

How on earth would one do a live action MLP? :smallconfused:

I don't think even the more hair brained studios would consider that feasible unless you're going for some Smurf/Avatar style CGI hijinks, and there's little chance Hasbro would put that kind of money into their advertisements.

[Aotrs Commander]

How on earth would one do a live action MLP? :smallconfused:

I don't think even the more hair brained studios would consider that feasible unless you're going for some Smurf/Avatar style CGI hijinks, and there's little chance Hasbro would put that kind of money into their advertisements.

Unless, of course, someone like Michel Bay got involved, in which case all bets are off... and the resemblance would likely be fairly minimal.



More likely - though probably equally as horrifyingly, is the thought on turning the Equestria Girls spin-off into live action, which would open a WHOLE can of worms the animated show avoided. (Like wisely keeping the human-pony colour schemes the same.)

[Kitten Champion]

How on earth would one do a live action MLP? :smallconfused:

Dontaskdontaskthatdontaskthat you don't want an answer and it might come true.

[Zmeoaice]

I think a live action MLP would be workable. About time Megan came back.

They would just avoid doing

1. Putting immature humor and pop culture references

2. Keep the majority of the film in Pony world, with the only scenes in our world are in the beginning before Megan goes there, and probably a few minutes after she returns home.

[DigoDragon]

(Like wisely keeping the human-pony colour schemes the same.)

Body paint and CGI could jump that hurdle.
Not that I'd want it to. :smalltongue:

[BannedInSchool]

Ponies with motion capture suits.

[t209]

Or
Maybe the movie was actually more like the series but the trailer tried to be clinche.
Or the message turned out that she was an heir to the company who cheated her rightful claim.
And Put some dang holograms.
and Orphange is pretty much dead in Modern America.
It's way worse than what Geoff Johns did to New 52 Billy Batson.

[Aotrs Commander]

Body paint and CGI could jump that hurdle.
Not that I'd want it to. :smalltongue:

It could (assuming you could navigate around the folk that would complain whatever ethnicity the actress was beneath their body-paint/CGI was wrong), but it seems unlikely that in such a circumstance they would care that much.

(Fortunately, it would appear instead we're getting an actual MLP animated movie in a couple of years.)



It does rather seem like they could have taken a few leaves out of the MLP playbook for this movie, from the sound of things. Jem is actually not something I am familiar with, even though I am of the right time-period and was generally aware of all the other cartoons my sister watched (and some of which I watched to... Heck, I went to see the original MLP the movie...!) I don't know if aired in the UK even, or if it did, it may have been on satelite channels and not terrestial TV.

[Giggling Ghast]

Just... why?

The trailer uses freaking One Direction music!!

Yeah, I think that's music the target audience enjoys quite a great deal.

Don't know anything else about Jem and the Holograms, other than reading about it in Manly Guys Doing Manly Things (http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/comic/never-doubt-how-much-the-father-of-a-little-girl-might-know-about-jem-carebears-or-my-little-pony).

[HardcoreD&Dgirl]

What's worse is that there appear to be no real stakes other than "fame and fortune can be hard." Boo-hoo Jem.

And the look is bland an uninspired, perhaps the biggest crime of all. You can update Jem to modern aesthetics without losing the "outrageous" - the comics managed to pull it off quite well. (And with The Misfits, no less!)

https://leagueofextraordinarycosplayers.files.wordpress.co m/2014/12/jem-comic-2.jpg?w=640

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--KVOYueZO--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/vy7ksncmsvrrmcxdrkwd.jpg

Here's some things they could have done to make it much more interesting.

- Jerrica and Kimber inherit the Starlight Music record company and Starlight Foundation (the non-profit orphanage) from their father like in the original. Despite Jerrica's young age (mid-late teens?) and self-consciousness, she is a talented singer and uncannily gifted at running the company - however, her ideas are ignored and most of her powers of ownership are diluted as the company is largely held in trust until she comes of age, thus her efforts to actually become a trailblazer are being constantly stymied by the stereotypical Hollywood Evil Corporation that has the company in an iron fist.

- The Hollywood Evil Corporation has most of the power until she comes of age. {Evil Executive} is enjoying (and embezzling) major success by having signed the Misfits to the label as their headline act - or at least so it seems on paper. The reality is that the Misfits, while they draw crowds, are bad apples that cost the company nearly as much in paying for their destroyed venues/hotel rooms, vandalism, assault charges and other legal troubles as they make in concert and album sales. Their presence at Starlight is beginning to drag Jerrica's name and her father's through the mud, and while the Evil Executive is keeping things afloat by using the orphanage to write off these expenses and cook the books, combined with the embezzlement and the ultimate plans to take over the company from Jerrica once things get bad enough, the long-term prospects of Starlight look bleak. By the time Jerrica comes of age, there may no longer be a company to run, and the orphanage may be forced to close its doors too, keeping the stakes high. If the company fails, what few assets remain will end up controlled fully by the Evil Executive.

- Jerrica's sister Kimber meanwhile is the much more genius/tech-savvy of the two. This keeps our protagonist as the everyman and clearly delineates their personalities. Kimber knows her sister would be talented both as Starlight's main attraction and as its CEO, but Jerrica's lack of self-esteem and the legal tangles they are both caught in are keeping them from greatness.

- At some point during all of this first act chaos, Kimber finds an anomaly of some kind in Starlight's systems that helps them uncover their father's true secret - Synergy. I would heavily play up the sci-fi angle here - she has a full-blown AI in her basement for chrissakes. Unlike most AI in movies that simply eat Wikipedia and become very Spock-like and clinical/logical, this one has an affinity for humanity's music and pop culture, and particular fondness for the 80's. And of course, it has the power to generate full-body holograms nearly anywhere in Jerrica's vicinity through her earrings.

- With Synergy's help, Jerrica and Kimber are able to discover a loophole in the legal documents - Jerrica lacks creative and financial control until she comes of age, but does have the right to sign a band of her own to the label. By signing a sufficiently talented group, she can right the company's fast sinking ship. The obvious choice talent-wise is herself, but she can't officially do that, so with Synergy's help she comes up with an alternate persona to play the role - namely - Jem. Kimber writes their music, and Aja/Shana are recruited from the orphanage where the four girls spent their days unwinding by singing for the other orphans in the past. Thus Jem and the Holograms are born, and begin to counter both the evil aspirations of the Executive as well as the destructive impulses of the Misfits, and stand a chance at keeping the company afloat and in Jerrica's hands until such time as she can oust the executive permanently.


There's also a lot of room for comedy here. The Misfits can be used to humorously lampshade a lot of negative tropes in modern pop music - heavy use of autotune, drug use, prima donna behavior, mistreating their fans, and collaborating with an equally off-putting Lil' Wayne sendup for jarring and generic rap solos along the lines of "I'll Transform Ya". All that can be in addition to the bad stuff the Misfits normally do.

That wouldn't be bad...

my hope would be make Jerrica in college, a bit shy and going for an accounting degree when she gets called home to find her father had a heart attack. She's 19-20 and the will gets tied up... however she finds the earrings. Then her and her high school sister find Synergy... and just in time for the battle of the bands.

I would make the misfits a group of trouble makers like you said, bad tropes. I would make Rio into 'the chick' of the movie, and have the saving the day mean saving there father's charity... the star light foundation.

I would have 3-4 full music video's that play as part of the movie... but not a full musical.

[Metahuman1]

Or, if you wanted to make the movie honestly better then it has any right to be, wait a few years, and then crib the first 1-2 Trade Paperbacks worth of the currently running IDW comics Jem and the Holograms Reboot shot for shot. It would honestly be able to say it's the best of Hasbro's movies to date in terms of quality at that point that wasn't Equestria Girls.

[turkishproverb]

But in fairness, was she truly outrageous to begin with? Truly, Truly, Truly Outrageous?



...

I'll get my coat.

[Legato Endless]

But in fairness, was she truly outrageous to begin with? Truly, Truly, Truly Outrageous?

Well...

Even though Jem is her name, none of this is the same.

[Kitten Champion]

It just occurred to me, but the trailer is the entirety of the movie. I mean, we see all the relevant plot points, the conflict, the low point, the climax, and the conclusion.

God that's an awful way to market a movie.

[t209]

It just occurred to me, but the trailer is the entirety of the movie. I mean, we see all the relevant plot points, the conflict, the low point, the climax, and the conclusion.

God that's an awful way to market a movie.
Tell that to new Spongbob movie.
Turned out that CGI from trailer is just the last 30 minutes.

[JoshL]

Well...

Even though Jem is her name, none of this is the same.

Clearly because the Misfits, their songs are better. They are the Misfits and they ought to get her.

[Psyren]

Well...

Even though Jem is her name, none of this is the same.

What you did there...


Clearly because the Misfits, their songs are better. They are the Misfits and they ought to get her.

Wasn't it "our songs are bitter?" Admittedly that line is hard to hear.

[JoshL]

I don't know if official lyrics were ever published (I imagine there was a soundtrack album at some point), but all the lyrics sites I just checked say "better". There's a cover by Freezepop that isn't hard to understand, but it's a cover, so that doesn't mean it's right!

[The Troubadour]

Wasn't it "our songs are bitter?" Admittedly that line is hard to hear.

I think it's "better", indeed. But I also thought it was "We're 'going' to get her" (or possibly "gonna"), not "ought to"?

[Kid Jake]

Unless, of course, someone like Michel Bay got involved, in which case all bets are off... and the resemblance would likely be fairly minimal.


I would actually love to see what Michael Bay would do with MLP, it'd be such a glorious train wreck...

[Metahuman1]

I would actually love to see what Michael Bay would do with MLP, it'd be such a glorious train wreck...

No, god, NO!!!!!!! I would LITERALLY rather face down everything ever conceived in the lovecraft mythos then have Michael Bay get a crack at MLP.

[BWR]

No, god, NO!!!!!!! I would LITERALLY rather face down everything ever conceived in the lovecraft mythos then have Michael Bay get a crack at MLP.

You have some warped priorities there, bud.

[Legato Endless]

On a forum populated by thousands of squalling nerds, Metahuman holds the unambiguous distinction of being the most rampantly passionate about the various infamies of nerd culture.

[Psyren]

On a forum populated by thousands of squalling nerds, Metahuman holds the unambiguous distinction of being the most rampantly passionate about the various infamies of nerd culture.

Not only is this all but impossible due to how vast "nerd culture" is, how would you even measure it?

[Lurkmoar]

Not only is this all but impossible due to how vast "nerd culture" is, how would you even measure it?

I propose the term of 'kilonets' to measure the incendiary nature of an electronic response. Perhaps we could base it off the Scoville Scale: replace or remove one word in an electronic reply at a time. Each word is a unit, and when a message is neutral in tone, intent and delivery the total words replaced or removed are tallied up and then you'll have your Kilonet total.

Example:

I think Jem and the Holograms IS GONNA SUCK AND I WISH THE PRODUCERS WOULD JUMP OFF A CLIFF!

to

Jem and the Holograms is coming out soon.

Total of 14 kilonets. Add additional values for replacing curses, racial insults and sexist remarks.

That said, I'm not thrilled about Jem and the Holograms. Some things are best left in the 80s.

[Metahuman1]

You have some warped priorities there, bud.

or maybe I'm more calculated in that I remember little details like lovecraft protags being unable to cope with the notion that humans aren't the highest form of life that's out there being there break point, and thus I can by pass that.

Or, you know, remembering that Chuthulu can be beaten with a boat.



Legato Endless: That response, I do not think you though out it's implications as well as you think you thought out it's implications.

[BWR]

Or, you know, remembering that Chuthulu can be beaten with a boat.


People keep bringing this up. It's like people stopped reading the story at that point or forgot what came after.

[Metahuman1]

What came after is kind of just there to freak out readers form the early 20th century with the notion that no, even when you win you still loose period.

I've had so much of that that I'm sick to death of it to the point I'm just gonna throw it out the window off hand.

[turkishproverb]

What came after is kind of just there to freak out readers form the early 20th century with the notion that no, even when you win you still loose period.

I've had so much of that that I'm sick to death of it to the point I'm just gonna throw it out the window off hand.

First, that's not exactly a good description of how cosmic horror worked. It's about knowledge that not only are you not the big fish, but you're so small the universe doesn't notice you. I'ts not about being a little fish in a big pond, it's a more severe thing than that.

Also...that's...kinda a better reason to not bring the stuff up to begin with. Otherwise, at best, you're using a similar justification as the changes to stuff like Jem. Ignoring it because you are sick of it, or see it as a gimmick.

[Mystic Muse]

Or, you know, remembering that Chuthulu can be beaten with a boat.


Does this mean that Cthulhu gets beaten by the crew of Gilligan's island? :smalltongue:

"You can kill Cthulhu but you can't fix a hole in a boat?!"

(I'm joking, I like the Cthulhu mythos myself, don't lynch me.)

[Psyren]

Also...that's...kinda a better reason to not bring the stuff up to begin with. Otherwise, at best, you're using a similar justification as the changes to stuff like Jem. Ignoring it because you are sick of it, or see it as a gimmick.

I have to agree, that kind of message of hopelessness and "monster wins, or at best humans buy a little more time" is kind of endemic to Lovecraft. It's not really my cup of tea either (though I do on occasion enjoy a good survival horror romp), but the solution there is to not read or invoke Lovecraft if I want to avoid Lovecraftian themes. There's plenty of other authors/genres if true victory is what I'm after.

[Gopher Wizard]

Just... why?

Well, there's this new thing they invented a few millennia ago called currency. It's very useful for the buying of items and other goods and can even be used to secure clothing and shelter. With that in mind, some people will do almost anything to obtain this currency - or money as it is sometimes called - to increase their way of life as more luxurious clothing, shelter, food, and even electronics and art can demand a higher trade off of currency.

:smallwink:

Did that come out a bit too sarcastic? I apologize if it did. But Hollywood taking an old TV series and trying to resell it is nothing new: the Dukes of Hazard movie or Bewitched starring Will Ferrell. I mean, I don't like to criticize something without actually seeing it and giving it a fair chance, and this film I'm just gonna stay away from it so I can't really saw anymore on the subject.

Now if they decide to make a film-license game based on the:smalleek: movie...

[Psyren]

Well, there's this new thing they invented a few millennia ago called currency. It's very useful for the buying of items and other goods and can even be used to secure clothing and shelter. With that in mind, some people will do almost anything to obtain this currency - or money as it is sometimes called - to increase their way of life as more luxurious clothing, shelter, food, and even electronics and art can demand a higher trade off of currency.

:smallwink:

Did that come out a bit too sarcastic? I apologize if it did. But Hollywood taking an old TV series and trying to resell it is nothing new: the Dukes of Hazard movie or Bewitched starring Will Ferrell. I mean, I don't like to criticize something without actually seeing it and giving it a fair chance, and this film I'm just gonna stay away from it so I can't really saw anymore on the subject.

Now if they decide to make a film-license game based on the:smalleek: movie...

Oh I definitely know why :smallbiggrin:

The problem is that, if they love currency so much, doing just about everything in their power to drive away the lucrative nostalgia dollar that would have been their core audience seems like an extremely poor move even just financially. The young girls this devoid-of-stakes Hannah Montana knockoff is aimed at will have next to no idea who Jem is, and the 20/30-somethings who actually do are busy projectile-vomiting all over the internet every time this abomination is mentioned. So this strikes me as a terrible decision for them to have run with not just critically, but commercially as well.

And if you pull out the things that made Jem great - the cool sci-fi/fantasy angle, the empowering female CEO/rockstar fantasy angle, and even the 80's period piece angle (big hair glam bands, cutthroat business practices, magical computers back before we really knew what they could actually do etc), Jem as a property has not much else going for it. it's not like Jem will have the massive explosions, giant robots, automobile/military porn or even copious boobage that allowed Michael Bay's similar nostalgic-cash-grabs to thrive in the absence of plot. Heck, Bayformers was almost as ruinous to its source material as this is, but at the very least you could shut off your brain and just go see a popcorn action flick for a few hours of truly mindless entertainment. "Jem and the Holograms" doesn't even have that!

[Metahuman1]

turkishproverb: And in the context of the world Lovecraft published is material in, this was horrifying because that would was VERY accustomed too the notion that humanity were the big fish on earth, and there was a fairly short list of named higher powers (names and exact modis operendai and roles changed some depending on precisely which individual you asked.) that were above humanity but for the most part looking out for it as well. Or there weren't and we really were the top of everything out there. Again, depending on whom you happened to ask at the time.

Now? Bit of a different scenario. Decades and Decades of cultural and scientific advancement and better collective species wide memory and access to info then we'd even been able to imagine when it was written will do that.

But if your so utterly determined to go that route, fine, let's swap that out with trading blows with Chuck Norris, internet Meme edition. Good enough to get the point across?

Mystic Muse: Technically speaking, yes. Course, Aquaman can do more then that and he doesn't even need the boat.