The Mad Chemist's Oddity Shoppe

[NecroPaladin]

Malleo A. Quatis the Itinerant Chemist, or Malleo the Mad as he is more accurately called, has finally settled down and stopped overdosing on his own experiments long enough to actually set up a shop. Although mostly chemically inclined, the products range to anything Malleo can create. Requests for chemicals that do specific things can be made, although they might not work as intended. Malleo is quite gifted when it comes to making mistakes.

THE MERCH:

ALCHEMICAL BULLETS (More to Come!)-These are what put me on the map. Well, I'm not really on the map, I'm too small. Okay, you get the point. Malleo's trademark alchemical bullets are made from a special crystal that shatters on impact, not puncturing the skin but still causing a cut deep enough for the chemicals to do their work. All of these chemicals are buy-able outside of the bullets, although some of them really aren't much use in any other situation. We've got a wide selection, and all of them come in an arrowhead variety for those of us who don't like weapons that bang.


NULLIFIERS:
These green guys are filled with a knockout draught that should render the enemy unconcious, or woozy at the least. Perfect for police-types who don't wanna kill. Nullifiers are also good to drink if you have insomnia.

FIREWORKS:
These come in any color. I didn't really make them to be fired at people, so don't get too jumpy, hotshot.

AFTERBURNERS:
These little crimson ones are naaaaaas-ty. Don't buy these out of the bullet-they burst into flame on contact with air. And keep burning. And burning, until you douse 'em. The liability to not buying them in a bullet is what makes them so popular in a bullet.

STENCHSTICKERS:
These brown ones? Victims hate 'em. They smell like landfill and adhere to skin, and harden if you don't wash the stuff off. Mostly useful in practical jokes, but also good if you've ever wanted to see someone stuck in position like a statue pass out from their own stench. They're not very popular outside the bullet, for obvious reasons.

REVERSE GRENADES:
These bright red ones are kind of expensive, because I need a little magical trigger for them to work right. It's worth the effort, though, because the implosion blasts everyone INWARD. Got a gang of enemies after you? See what happens when they all suffer impact trauma from smashing into each other at tornado-speed.

HAPPY JUICE:
I'd suggest...not getting these. They're still in the experimental phase, and I once overdosed on one of them. An overdose, by the way, is THREE DROPS. I giggled until I passed out, and my hair has been pink to date. However, the bonus is that at least when you kill someone with one of these, they die happy.

FLAN GRENADES:
These bright blue ones are similar to my Reverse Grenades only in the use of the suffix "Grenades." Basically, the vial is built with two chemicals within, seperated by cork. That's why one half of the blue is lighter. But, see, when the glass shatters and they mix, they expand into a giant seven by seven foot blueberry flan! Haha, GENIUS! They're inexpensive, but not that deadly. More inconvenient or just delicious depending on intent, really.


CARNIVOROUS DAFFODILS-These are up for adoption at a more meager price than you'd expect for life created from scratch. That's because the little monsters make the worst pet in all of existence, and I don't regret the business I lose saying that. I can't get rid of the little flying bastards because they asexually reproduce the moment I give one of 'em away.

...Want one?

Updated: MALLEO and AFFADAVIT'S INSANITY (Secret. You better have a good reason to know he makes these) -My secret alchemical bullet, a KNAVES exclusive. Normally I don't give 'em to non-members, but price makes right. These carry a powerful hallucinogen that sends the target into an agonized, murderous rage, and Prof. Affadavit added the worst part of all: The pain isn't just a figment of the imagination, it's REAL. I don't really like making 'em, there's kinda this feeling that they can't be used for good, y'know?

CHEMBOT (Based off "Gentbot")-Hehe, you want the guy who looks like a pudgy little me with flasks in his belly? Sorry, he's not for sale; he manages the shop when I'm gone. But I'm flattered that you want him!

Like most shops, the cost is fairly arbitrary. However, unrealistic offers will end up in an two automated turrets at the doorway shooting the offender full of happyjuice until his smile literally explodes from his head. Shop smart, kiddos.

[Vespe Ratavo]

An NPC runs inside and offers a ludicrous amount of money for some happy juice bullets.

((Ready, Aim....))

[Gnrlshrimp]

((A thought has just struck me. Affadavit's pain+Affadavit's madness=One insanely evil torture device!))

[NecroPaladin]

((Awesome!))

Vespe's NPC must be dragged out in two seperate, giggling, pieces.

"Dammit, that ALWAYS happens," moans Malleo, who is busy mixing Czar's criminal rehabilitation potion.

[Goblin Music]

Dall appears and orders some reverse grenades

[NecroPaladin]

"Right away, sir...Oh, you're Shadow Spy, right? Well, normally these would be free for your types, but Reverse Grenades, specifically, cost a bit more to make. Hope you don't mind paying for them."

He mixes a few of the little red vials and asks,

"Bullet or arrowhead?"

[Gnrlshrimp]

Two of Random's drones walk in. They glow briefly then wait patiently for Malleo to notice them.

[Goblin Music]

in these *holds out some silver spheres with a small hole at the top of each*

[NecroPaladin]

"Right away..."

He fills the spheres, details how much it'll cost, but before he can take Dall's payment he notices the drones.

He's never seen one before.

"GAH!"

((Or do they look like Jury members?))

[Goblin Music]

Dall pays, closes the spheres with a word, then pockets them. i may be back soon good sir. then vanishes

[Gnrlshrimp]

((They're far more basic. They look almost too simple to have been made by Random/Affadavit.))

The drones turn to Malleo. "Our master requires three vials of Affadavit's madness." Due to their simplicity Malleo might not realise who 'their master' is.

[NecroPaladin]

Malleo looks very confused.

"Who...how do you know...? And did Shadow Spy just call me God?"

[Goblin Music]

((no i made a typo))

[Gnrlshrimp]

"Do you not know who our master is?"

[NecroPaladin]

In sheer confusion/fear/whimsical reaction to a typo, Malleo responds,

"Not really...a god?"

[Gnrlshrimp]

The drones would laugh, if they were capable of laughing. "Our master is Random, that name should be familiar to you." Or maybe not actually, Malleo hasn't heard Affadavit called that.

[NecroPaladin]

"Not really. Is he one of the guys whose drink I spiked?"

Malleo appears to be reminiscing about something funny.

[Gnrlshrimp]

The drones glow again briefly. "You may have heard him called...Professor Affadavit?" They wait patiently to see if this will spark any reaction.

[Goblin Music]

Dall /Shadow Spy reappears and asks the drone if the diamond pistols use bullets

[NecroPaladin]

Malleo grins at the drones, and points a finger up comically.

"Ah-HA! You should have told me in the first place!"

He quickly mixes the vials.

"Here you go...sirs...ma'am...things. How do you even take these?"

[Gnrlshrimp]

The drones glow briefly. "Yes, they do."

The drones take the vials. "Our master wants to do some experiments with these. What is the cost?"

[Goblin Music]

cool *turns to the shop keep* i would like some afterburners that i can shoot with this *holds up a diamond pistol*

[NecroPaladin]

"Affadavit gets my merchandise free; I love his work. These are named after him, for crying out loud!"

He then turns to Dall, and plucks a few pre-mixed afterburners from a shelf.

"Don't open these before you load them...It leads to melted weaponry."

[Goblin Music]

thank you vanishes again.((after paying))

[Gnrlshrimp]

One of the drones suddenly grins, something it really shouldn't do. "Why Malleo, I'm flattered." The other one gathers the three vials, puts a cork in them if they don't have ones already, and carefully places them in a bag.

[NecroPaladin]

As they leave, Malleo smiles.

"What a nice...hunk of metal."

[Gnrlshrimp]

((They haven't actually left yet...))

The two drones slowly turn and leave. One of them pauses and throws a card to Malleo.

[NecroPaladin]

Necropaladin takes a big TV remote and rewinds the scene.

As they leave, Malleo smiles.

"What a nice...hunk of metal."

He then looks at the card.

[Gnrlshrimp]

On the card is a hastily scribbled note.

Malleo, I intend to combine our two chemicals to create something fairly nasty...Hope you don't mind. We need to discuss our various successes some time.

Sincerely, Affadavit/Random

[NecroPaladin]

"Wow. That's...deadly."

Malleo pockets the card and begins to mix some odd bluish liquids in back. Suddenly, they explode into a big flan-ish goop, catching him inside. Whilst suspended in a trapezoid of goo, one can hear him yell a muffled,

"GENIUS!"

[Goblin Music]

Shadow Spy appears with a large cannon shell i want every type of magic bullet you have made in to a bunch of these! he shifts to illusion

[Gnrlshrimp]

Two drones walk in, carrying six vials full of a foul smelling black liquid. Unable to immediately see Malleo they begin searching for him, taking great care not to drop any of the vials. "Malleo, our master wants you to see the results."

[NecroPaladin]

Malleo seems to have made a breakthrough, and eats his way out of the blue flan.

"HAHAHAH! Tastes like blueberries! GENIUS! I-"

He regards the 'customers.'

"Oh. Shadow Spy, I'll see what I can do, but my work is no magic. And...I guess I'll talk with Affadavit later, as you can see I'm caught in a flan."

[Gnrlshrimp]

The drones hold out three of the vials. "Our master is considering letting you sell these, providing he gets a share of the profits."

[NecroPaladin]

"Those things...I can't sell them legally, though...they'd have to go on the black market!"

Now standing, Malleo wipes blue flan off his coat.

[Gnrlshrimp]

"You don't even know what they do."

[NecroPaladin]

"Well, you wanted to mix the agony juice and the liquid madness! What did they end up as, cake frosting???"

Malleo looks at the vials warily.

[Gnrlshrimp]

One drone walks outside, and grabs an innocent NPC. It takes one of the vials and splashes the contents all over the poor NPC.

The NPC screams in pain and horror, fighting imaginary demons only it can see. He spasms in pain several times and eventually falls to the floor, still screaming.

[NecroPaladin]

"Yeesh...could you...in my shop?"

Malleo takes the vials.

"Okay, you'll get some of the profits...But I have my reservations against selling these. Get that man a gift card."

As he puts the vials into a secret compartment, he asks,

"What are these called, anyway?"

[Gnrlshrimp]

The drones keep one of the vials. "Affadavit and Malleo's insanity." They turn to leave. "Our master will send you the formula later."

[Goblin Music]

can't you still create them? the illusion asks

[NecroPaladin]

"Of course," he responds to both of his customers.

He then looks over.

"But first I'll have to run some tests on this blueberry flan..."

[Goblin Music]

K' the illusion sits down on a chair and waits

[NecroPaladin]

Malleo does some work on the cannonballs, before having Chembot take over for him as he heads out on the town.

((Will update inventory later))

[Woland]

"Now, that must be downright delicious. The poor sod's speechless," Gray says as he steps out of a door that was apparently in the ceiling all along. He pokes the squirming, potion-affected NPC with his foot, causing, what else, more squirming.

"Ah, but we can't have you in this state, what'll the wife say when you get home? 'Been drinking chemical death again, Rupert? You promised to cut back! Do you want our cats to grow up to be just like you?' No, we can't have that. Better get you fixed up."

Gray makes some arcane gestures with his hands. (Or at least what should be arcane gestures. Upon close inspection, one can see that he's really just combining some sign language describing a recipe for quiche with the hi-sign.)

The NPC stops squirming in agony and looks around. Then he stands up. "Thank you sir, I thought I was a goner there."

Gray smiles. "No problem. Although I wouldn't really thank me if I were you."

The NPC scratches his head, puzzled. "Why not? You saved my life, didn't you?"

"Well, I really only cast bestow curse on you to give you a sort of patchwork-immunity to that poison, and since I had to put something adverse in there to bypass the thaumatic resistance brought on by soul-affecting SPP emissions...How can I put this...Your ears are now squirrels. Have a good one."

Gray turns and walks towards Malleo as the NPC runs off screaming. "He'll be alright, just needs a curse-reversal after the chemicals pass through his system. But of course, that's not what I mean to talk to you about..."

He sticks out his hand. "I'm Gray, by the way, nice to meet you."

[NecroPaladin]

Chembot (Who looks like a metal Malleo and is operated through Malleo's goggles) extends his metallic hand.

"Malleo A. Quatis, not-so-itinerant-anymore chemist. I would have followed that up with 'In the flesh,' but I'm not so I won't. How do you do?"

[Woland]

Gray shakes it. "I've come to you today with a proposal. You see, I've heard about your shop, and how you use quite the number of exotic chemicals. I can help with that. I'm a dealer in resources, resources of all kinds, and I can supply you with pretty much any substance you name, as well as several you probably can't. This is all to be charged based on market price and rarity, of course, but I can promise you that you won't find this range of material, from the organic right down to the base elements, with any other provider.

"Of course, I'm willing to back up my claims with actual substance. Name your first order, no matter how rare the compounds, and I guarantee you I'll have it within a week, or your money back. So, what do you say? You can think about it for a while if you'd like."

Gray grins at Malleo.

[NecroPaladin]

"Well...I've always wanted to see if I could raise the dead with a potion derived from Lich Dust..."

He shakes Gray's hand.

"You're on."

[Woland]

Gray's eyes glint wickedly as he grins.

"...How many pounds?"

[NecroPaladin]

Chembot randomly picks a number.

"Um...six?"

[Woland]

Gray's demeanor turns contemplative.

"Okay then. Six. You want it separated into single-pound packages, or just lumped together, economy-style? You save twelve copper on shipping that way!"

[NecroPaladin]

"Economy, I suppose. I can do the measurements myself."

Chembot gleams with happiness, and then hands offers a little blue blob.

"Flan?"

[Woland]

Gray nods. "Yes, I believe it is. However, I'm not the chemist, so I couldn't say for sure.

"May I have some?"

[NecroPaladin]

"Sure can...It just...appeared."

Malleo looks thoughtful.

[Woland]

Gray picks the flan from Chembot's hand, examens it critically for a moment, and then drops it in his mouth.

He chews a few times, mulling over the texture, and then swallows it, his face contemplative.

"Not bad. Not bad at all. A bit heavy on the genius, but that's nothing a dash of vanilla extract can't fix.

"Now, back to the task at hand."

Gray touches his temple. "Lich dust, lich dust...You know, I may just have brought some of that with me from Volgiisa. Border town, quite pleasant in the summer. Villagers a little dead for my liking, but you can't have it all, eh? If it wasn't on a fifth-tier plane layered with unstable half-dimensions and a bitch of a god I'd visit more often... Anyhoo, I'll be right back. Hold on a moment, will you?"

Gray opens the door that was somehow in the floor all along(?) and heads down.

From the outside, one can hear certain bumpings and voices.

"Zhu! We have some lich dust?"

"Do we WHAT?"

"LICH DUST! Do we have it?"

"Yes, of course, I take inventory of our undead bonemeal all the time! Ask Roland, he's the one that knows all this crap."

"Yeah, but isn't he trapped in a pocket dimension?"

"Oh, yeah, haha, I forgot! Say, shouldn't we get him out of there?"

"...Y~eah, let's maybe do that later. No sense in getting ourselves worked up for that, it's not like he's going anywhere for a while."

"But you know, it is a hell dimens-"

"Yeah, let's do that later."

"What doesn't kill you right?"

"School of hard knocks."

"If a tree falls in a forest."

"That too. Ooh, I found the lich dust!"

More bumping noises, and Gray reappears through the door apparently lodged in the top of a shelf the whole time, carrying a barrel and smiling pleasantly.

"Back, and here you go. You get the other seventy-two pounds free."

[NecroPaladin]

"...Wow! Um. You're hired?"

Chembot stares at the barrel and blows a fuse.

[darkblade]

Enforcer Judicial enters the shop looks around for a few minutes. Walks up to Chembot and asks "So, War do you think you can make me a body like that Chembot here?"

[NecroPaladin]

"Well, I'm not actually War, I'm just his voice in a metal box. And Chembot was a gift to me from an old friend, not one of my own creations...So sadly, no."

He extends a hand filled with blue goop.

"I can give you blueberry flan, though."

[Woland]

Gray heads to the door (the actual front door this time. Amazing eh?) and turns towards Chembot.

"Glad to be doing business with you then. I'll check back in soon to take any orders you might have. Other than that, if you have need of my services, just knock." He turns back and walks out of the shop.

It might be noted at this time that there's a six-by-six-inch door on top of Chembot's head.

In fact, it is noted.

In this post.

Very convenient.

[NecroPaladin]

Convenient indeed.

Chembot knocks on the door on his head experimentally.

[Woland]

"Yeeeeeeeeeehhhhzzzz?"

Floating in front of Chembot, upside-down, is Gray's head. This is of course attached to Gray's body, but it hasn't done anything of consequence yet so it's barely worth mentioning.

[NecroPaladin]

"Just testing. How do you do that, anyway?"

Chembot staggers around a bit, trying to get a clear look at Gray.

[Woland]

"Oh, I just vibrate my voicebox. Like I'm doing right now. Fairly simple but quite addictive."

[NecroPaladin]

Chembot decides not to question this logic.

"Does this mean that you live in my head?"

[Woland]

"Well, I do tend to make an impression on people, but I doubt you'd think of me all the time. So no, I'd say frequent it more than live in it, if it were to come down to guessing. You should know though, it's your head.

"Anyhoo, that door's my calling card. Put it anywhere you like, though it does look smashing on your head."

Gray salutes Chembot. "All the best, mate, say hi to the HCl for me."

And he vanishes. Or at least covers Chembots eyes while he makes vanish-y noises and then proceeds to walk out the back door.

[NecroPaladin]

((Hehe!))

Chembot takes the door...and sticks it upside-down on a wall, looking like a picture in a frame. He admires it and runs some final tests. Putting up a blast shield, he gets two blue chemicals...

Moments later, everything but Chembot is covered in flan.

"GENIUS!"

((Flan Grenades added to inventory. They sound like they'd be fun for some other Townies.))

[Goblin Music]

Interesting may i purchase some of the flan grenades, oh and how are the cannon balls coming?

[NecroPaladin]

Chembot wheels out a big cart with about fifteen cannonballs of each type of alchemical bullet (except for Flan Grenades and Reverse Grenades, because he just made Flan Grenades and Reverse Grenades are too expensive to produce en masse).

"I figure that...you AMEN and, erm, affiliated organizations have the treasury to pay for this? I can give you the occasional free bullet, but these took up a lot of my stock."

He then pours a couple of flan grenades.

"These, on the other hand, are ridiculously easy to make. Have a few on the house."

He hands a bag of flan grenades to Dall and offers him the cart with a look of 'yeah, I expect you to wheel these out yourself.'

[Goblin Music]

the cart and bag vanish as a huge bag of platinum appears thank you! i hope you do much more business in the near future

[NecroPaladin]

Chembot picks up the bag of platinum just as Malleo comes back to the store. One might notice that Chembot's eyes dim at the exact point that Malleo's foot sets down in the interior of the shop.

"Woah! You've been doing real business, have you, Chembot?"

Taking the bag, he notices that the cart of alchemical cannonballs is gone.

"Ah. So they made good on their offer, then..."

He pauses, apparently at a loss as to what he wants to do, before slapping the motionless Chembot on the back and laughing gaily.

"I know! I've got a barrel of lich dust to play with!"

Singing a chipper tune, he heads to the back of the shop and closes the door. Chembot's eyes light up again.

[Goblin Music]

the illusion fades from view.

[Nevrmore]

A strange figure seems to materialize otuside of the door and enter the shop(pe). His face is obscured by a strange helmet that looks of Greek descent, the brilliant golden shine in starch contrast to the rest of the thing's body. Two white, luminescent eyes stare out from the helm.

The man's long, tattered robe is black and red splattered, seeming as if it is smeared with blood. The robe is long enough to fall to the ground, giving the queer figure the appearance of gliding over the floor. He proceeds to do so as he heads over to Chembot.

[NecroPaladin]

Chembot sparks in a manner that makes one a little afraid of his employment in a job that requires him constantly handling biochemical explosives, before opening his mannequin-esque mouth.

"Hey, friend! Watcha want?"

[Nevrmore]

"Embalming fluid..." The figure says. It's tone is somewhat strained, "I require embalming fluid."

[NecroPaladin]

"Erm, I generally use that in something more...spectacular...it may take a while to find embalming fluid just by itself..."

Chembot rummages through the shelves and, although seemingly throwing vials out at random, somehow manages to get all of the debris he tosses to land on a shelf or otherwise perfectly ordered. He eventually pulls out a few circular glass bottles filled with arsenic and other such liquids.

"Got these from boss...He bleeds, cries and otherwise oozes the stuff, so it'll be fairly cheap."

He looks up at the figure with a mechanical eyebrow raised.

"Whaddya gonna do with these, anyhow?"

[Nevrmore]

"I need to preserve my bodies." The figure responds nonchalantly, grabbing the various vials. His inhumanely long, black fingers are suffiecient to grab what would be considered too large for one handful in, well, one handful.

[NecroPaladin]

"Hmm. I would question that, but I'm of dubious legal background myself so I won't."

He shies back a bit, but eventually overcomes his fear with greed.

"You gonna pay for those?"

[Nevrmore]

The figure reaches a dauntingly long pair of fingers inside his robes, pulling out a few gold coins and setting them on the table.

[NecroPaladin]

Unsure of if he wants to touch the coins directly, Chembot warily uses a pipe to brush them into a shelf beneath the counter.

"Um...er,"

His demeanor goes back to normal,

"Thank you for your business, Sir!"

[Nevrmore]

Without a word, the figure turns and leaves, seemingly exiting existence altogether.

[Goblin Music]

(if you fed a reverse grenade to someone what would happen when you detonated it?)

[NecroPaladin]

((All of their insides would rupture and be pulled into a singularity in their stomach, before being released. Basically, it would be like grenade-force going off on all sides to cave in their body.))

[Goblin Music]

((buahahahahahaha))
((watch out i am coming... with grenades))

[NecroPaladin]

((Wait, does that mean you'll try to feed ME a grenade? Malleo knows his own work...))

[Goblin Music]

((no! how will i get more RGs (Reverse Grenades) if i kill him?))

[NecroPaladin]

((Oh, joy. "I simply keep Malleo alive so he can make me weapons." That's encouraging. :smallamused: ))

After experimenting with the lich dust a bit, Malleo walks out of the shop for the usual nightly "experiments." Namely, shooting fireworks at strangers.

[Gnrlshrimp]

((Well, what did you expect? Who would want to keep a guy with pink hair about if he doesn't do something useful? Like make weapons.))

[Woland]

The front door opens and Gray strolls inside.

"Malleo! How's business?" he says as he steps in. "I'm here to take any orders might have struck your fancy during my absence."

[NecroPaladin]

"Well, the lich dust is working well as an aging solvent," Malleo replies, waking up from a nap.

"Why anyone would WANT to age, I have no idea. I've recently been working on procuring werewolf blood, but in the meantime I've been wanting to break down some vampire saliva."

He looks Gray up and down.

"That may be a little difficult to procure, especially if you're not the lickable type."

[Nevrmore]

((Well, what did you expect? Who would want to keep a guy with pink hair about if he doesn't do something useful? Like make weapons.))
((Floyd can play the guitar :())

[Woland]

Gray strikes a hand-to-chin thoughtful pose.

"Hmm...Now by vampire, do you mean the oversized bat-monsters with the spiked backs, or the mysticism flunkies turned wasteful cannibals who give themselves skin which explodes upon contact with UVB rays?"

[NecroPaladin]

Malleo pauses, and his eyebrows slowly raise. Then lower. He twitches. Said eyebrows wiggle a bit like pink catterpillars.

Ding!

"Um...Both?"

[Woland]

"Excellent! I'll have all three items in...Let's say three days. That'll make it nice and even. Three in three. Well, I'll be off now, I have some spit to collect!"

Gray strolls back out of the store, whistling.

[Goblin Music]

Dall appears as a illusion
interesting....
hi whatchya doin?

[darkblade]

"Ah well guess I'll have to find another way to get rip of my inner demon," Darkblade says as he leaves the shop.

[Goblin Music]

Weeeeeee! im not freeeee

[The Geomancer]

Czar Prohibition slams the door of the shop open. Doc War? Are you in here? MALLEO?

[Gnrlshrimp]

Affadavit walks in, still covered in blood, even his hair has taken a dark red colour.

[The Geomancer]

Czar sniffs and turns around. Wounded prey? No it was just Affidavit.

[NecroPaladin]

"FLAAAAAAAAAAA-"

Malleo stops his cry and crank of the gattling gun when he realizes who his visitors are. Why he intended to barrage his customers with that monster, one can't know.

"Hey, guys!"

He grins and shoulders the gun as if he wasn't about to use it, nonchalantly. He leans against the wall and the gun falls on his foot with a crack. His smile dissapears temporarily, but then reappears. He's not really physically capable of a frown.

[Gnrlshrimp]

Affadavit sighs and shakes his head. He found it hard to admit that someone as pathetic as Malleo could be better than him in certain areas of science. He gulps down his cup full of blood and fakes a smile. "Good to see you Doc War."

[NecroPaladin]

"GREAT to see you!"

He smiles and begins rummaging for something. He pulls out a boquet of familiar-looking bloodthirsty flowers.

"Daffodil?"

[The Geomancer]

Hey Doc War, where have you been. Czar says. He thinks Malleo is a ton of fun. Do in part to his amusing name.

[NecroPaladin]

Malleo looks at his feet. He seems to think for a long time, focusing as if he can see the wagging toes through the boots. He looks about ready to burst a vessel when he finally looks up, realizing the answer.

"Here. I was here."

He grins and puts his hands on his hips as though knowing where he is has become some sort of grand achievement.

[The Geomancer]

Why here and not at KNAVES headquarters?

[Gnrlshrimp]

Affadavit leans on his walking stick and waits. Eventually Czar will remember why they were looking for him. "Daffodil? No thankyou, I remember those bloodthirsty brutes." He glances down at himself, clothes covered in blood, and chuckles. "Then again I'm fairly bloodthirsty as well these days."

[NecroPaladin]

Malleo shrugs, walking over to a metal coathanger where he's left his uniform.

"I needed to take some time off, that was all."

He then loads his arm with afterburners, discarding the normal ammunition of happy juice bullets.

"Did you want me for the non-voter hunt this week? That'll be loads of fun."

This seems rather useless to say, as everything is fun to Doc War. He clamps down his mask.

[The Geomancer]

Doc War, I need to you to create a line of poisons for a assassination squad I am putting together. Czar says, hoping this will get him to come back to KNAVES.

[Gnrlshrimp]

Affadavit drums his fingers on his walking stick. He doesn't want to spend too long here, although..."Malleo, do you have any hip flasks or something like that?" Not that he expects Malleo to have one, he just thought he might as well ask.

[NecroPaladin]

"I have vials..."

He hands Affadavit a vial.

"Any specifics?"

Doc War shifts his shoulders in his coat, already on his way to the door.

"I mean, I can't just go making potions at random, willy nilly. I doubt Random (hee hee! play on words!) would like that very much, considering you probably want more than just the average poison."

[The Geomancer]

All the poisons will have to kill people. What I want is a line of them that kill after differing amounts of time. Czar smiles at the idea.

[NecroPaladin]

"Hmm..."

Doc War thinks for a second.

"I've got two experimental solvents that might be so modified.

One hyperincreases metabolism, causing the subject to die of either starvation or old age in a variable time, depending on concentration.

The other just explodes."

He giggles.

[Gnrlshrimp]

Affadavit groans, that was the worst pun he had ever heard. "That was terrible Malleo, and I don't use that name when I'm working for KNAVES. Poisons aren't my area, which is why we're asking you." He looks down at the vial, why didn't he think of that? Oh right, he was too busy working on the sub and drinking blood.

[The Geomancer]

The first one if you please. But the ones that take a long time to take affect... Will the subject be able to notice soon? The whole point is giving time for operatives to escape unnoticed.

[NecroPaladin]

"Well, they'll feel hungry and they might notice a few wrinkles that weren't there before, but nothing major."

He adds,

"The short acting ones will likely kill from instant aging, while hunger will probably end the longer ones. Near the end of the line, they'll have to be constantly eating to survive."

He shivers a little at his own diabolical concoction, but seems just as chipper.

[The Geomancer]

Excellent. When do you think you can have enough prepared for... thirty operatives?Czar follows Malleo to the door, eager to get back to KNAVES HQ.

[Gnrlshrimp]

Affadavit smiles. Some interesting ideas, certainly better than any poison he could have made. "Impressive. That's a nasty poison."

[NecroPaladin]

Doc War dilutes and concentrates a few doses, handing Czar 10 vials of oily gray liquid.

"Here's ten. Come back later today."

[The Geomancer]

Thanks but I thought you were coming with us.

[NecroPaladin]

"Alright then!"

Completely agreeable, Malleo uses his metal arm to tear his work desk out of the floor, and strolls off towards HQ with it. Not after some trouble getting it through the door, though.

[The Geomancer]

Grinning, Czar shrugs at Affidavit and follows Malleo out.

[Gnrlshrimp]

Affadavit heads back to the HQ as well, still looking a little disgusted by Malleo's attitude. He rummages through his pockets finding a total of ten vials including the one given to him by Malleo, hopefull that would be enough.

[Draken]

The very large criohydra sudenly teleports into the shop.

Hi. I would like to aqquire... 36 Carnivorous Daffodils right now.

And if you don't mind, i would like to fix a gate here at your place, leading to the Many Gates Galerie in my castle.

Draken keeps looking arround while waiting for his answer.

[NecroPaladin]

Chembot hands him 36 daffodils in a reinforced cage.

"I'd suggest not opening these all at once. They can skeletonize cows. And why the gate? Do you intend to be a regular customer?"

[Draken]

That is a probability.

Draken get's the cage, handles a bag of gold, and set the gate up.

Here, if you want to shut the gate down, or activate it back, just press the button, you can also call an Artillery Golem throught it if you need any help. The hall also has many gates to many other places, no charge, if you need.

He steps into the gate, back to his castle.

[NecroPaladin]

"Hey! Spiffy!"

Chembot fools with the open/close button for a while before getting back to work.