PDA

View Full Version : What would your main character do for a klondike bar?



Bard1cKnowledge
2015-05-26, 10:48 AM
Okay, we all do stupid things in campaigns, it doesn't matter what setting or which game.

The question here is, what would any character you play from any game do for a Klondike bar?

I'll start.

Lerissa, my tiefling warlock would probably attempt to outdrink a dwarf for a Klondike bar

JNAProductions
2015-05-26, 11:45 AM
Evangaline, my good half-elf Rogue, would pay a few coins for one.

Nox, my Lawful Evil half-elf Warlock, would start a coup on the Klondike factory, taking it over and ruling it with an iron fist.

CantigThimble
2015-05-26, 12:28 PM
Awfrith Grythey, cleric of knowledge would call upon divine inspiration to learn how to make them, make 5 dozen, then sneak off with one after the drugs in the first 59 finally knock out the halfling.

turbo164
2015-05-26, 02:05 PM
Jareth Beredinfalas, Chaotic Good Half-Elf Bard, would compose a power metal album for a Klondike Bar.

VoxRationis
2015-05-26, 03:07 PM
Harald the Clever, the weakling barbarian, would sail a longship to the Klondike bar factory, present a forged statement of sale giving him ownership of it, and walk away with all the bars he wanted.

Palegreenpants
2015-05-26, 03:36 PM
Guardsman Paisley Yorke, medic, would fight a space marine for it, because everything tastes better than Imperial Guard protein bars.

Taet
2015-05-26, 05:37 PM
Emmy Zigzag, medic and rigger, does nothing? Yeah. :smalleek: Her sense of smell is almost burnt out by using BTL. Better-than-life program chips. All food tastes like tofu to her.

Lodi the oracle would also try to outdrink the dwarf for a Klondike bar. She follows the mystery of wine. And with that on her side she may even win. Ladies do not get drunk. They glow. :smallcool:

veti
2015-05-26, 06:15 PM
Noodles the Ninja would infiltrate the factory and change the address labels on the shipping crates to divert them to an innocent party who just happens to be out of town, then go to that address and wait for them to arrive. Then he'd make off with as many as he could heft, returning to the team to analyse the great thorny question of the whole episode...

... what the hades is a Klondike bar anyway?

TheCountAlucard
2015-05-26, 06:49 PM
... what the hades is a Klondike bar anyway?It's a chocolate-covered ice cream bar. Nothing special.

L3NN¥ would probably just drive to the Stuffer Shack for one. Or send a drone. Yeah, that second one.

DigoDragon
2015-05-26, 06:58 PM
Doc, wasteland surgeon, would sneak into a raider den for a Klondike bar.

Moroni, the western dragon, would fight Magneto for a Klondike bar.

Seraphi, cloistered cleric, would pray to her deity for a Create Food Klondike and Drink spell.

Trixie, the Great and Powerful unicorn, would dazzle and amaze you all with her superior magical skills... and steal your wallet to buy a Klondike bar.

Sparks, viera transmuter, would polymorph a drow into a Klondike bar.

goto124
2015-05-26, 07:12 PM
^ :smalltongue:

How difficult is it to sneak into a raiders' den? I imagine Doc will do plenty of things for food in the wasteland...

Instead of praying to a deity, KC will skip the middleperson and directly ask the GM for a Klondlike bar.

DigoDragon
2015-05-26, 08:34 PM
How difficult is it to sneak into a raiders' den?

Last time he tried it, he was mistaken for a raider and then very nearly killed by them. :smallbiggrin:

Silent Justice
2015-05-26, 11:13 PM
My Chaotic Good Half-Orc Barbarian would probably storm the house of the person with the klondike bar, throw her halfling friend at it (she does that a lot), and take it. And then give the person a few hundred gold or so in compensation.

Lord Raziere
2015-05-27, 01:58 AM
Nesalar Valvani, humble elven summoner diplomat would negotiate peace between two warring nations for a klondike bar.

Connic Dannelston, alchemy inventor, would create a new form of life, build an army from that form of life and take over half the world while subverting a religion to legitimize his rule for a klondike bar.

Meffelkrow, elven oracle, would gaze into the future, see only vague frustrating hints of what to do then go through something elaborate and convoluted because the fates told him to that causes him to rant at the universe for a klondike bar.

Lord Platinum would a good plan to SAAAVE THE WOOORLD by inventing a giant life ray to shoot at a desert to make more trees that will eat up more carbon to prevent global warming then laugh maniacally for a klondike bar.

Android 23 would snark at everything around her, fight anybody who threatens her friends and find the Dragon Balls just to wish for a klondike bar

Kedra would protect anyone and plow a drill-lance through anything for a Klondike bar.

Mantakax Boomabillion would negotiate with his enemies, blast his other enemies to ashes with his gun, lie cheat and invent a plane so that he can crash it and thus make it explode for a Klondike Bar

Zazax
2015-05-27, 04:24 AM
Guy Thompson, Mecha Pilot, High Schooler, and Puncher of Eldritch Abominations, would break into a spontaneous song-and-dance number for a Klondike Bar, as soon as you explain to him what exactly a Klondike Bar is.

O'ree'li, crazy Tau Firewarrior and Slayer of Warboss Facestompa, would shank you with a sword for a Klondike Bar. But he'd probably do that anyways.

Primus, LN Warforged Cleric of Machina, goddess of machines and technology, would attempt to convert you and claim divine right to a Klondike Bar, then lament his inability to eat it.

Rulke Highwind, LG Artificier and One-Man Magitek Industrial Revolution, would find out how they're made, then rather than make a Klondike Bar himself, would instead start making Klondike Bar factories to mass-produce them. Then make mobile, probably flying shops staffed entirely by constructs to sell at optimum efficiency. Then start refining Klondike Bar production techniques and design to produce more, better Klondike Bars, and retrofit his existing infrastructure to support this. And so on.

Talyn
2015-05-27, 06:16 AM
Sir Alidor de Gantfer, Paladin of Light, would ask very politely for a Klondike bar, and then tip generously when it was handed over - unless that Klondike bar was in the hands of the forces of Evil, in which case he would charge headlong into battle to rescue that Klondike bar from it's oppressors.

(And then eat it, because Klondike bars are delicious and Sir Alidor isn't one to waste good food like that.)

JAL_1138
2015-05-27, 07:30 AM
Gavin would flatter/persuade/bluff the store clerk until he got a Klondike bar for free.

Alistair the (Overly) Cautious on the other hand wouldn't do anything for one, because he only eats or drinks food and water he can conjure with cleric spells.

IZ42
2015-05-27, 05:51 PM
Mikhail the monk would fight a dragon solo for a Klondike bar. Well, he'd do that anyway, but no worries.

Chigg Ferden the Gunslinger would accost a stranger for a Klondike bar.

Veren Yorakabi the Dread would crush your mind with your deepest fears for a Klondike bar.

Vitruviansquid
2015-05-27, 05:54 PM
Sarpedon the veteran of the Siege at Uranus (where he's seen some s***) will spend thousands of dollars on a Klondike Bar. The Klondike Bar ration ran out during the siege, so now he gets Klondike bars whenever he can.

Telonius
2015-05-27, 07:02 PM
I'm the DM, and my BBEG is Asmodeus. So I guess the answer is that he's already arranged it so all of the Klondikes belong to him and are stored on Stygia just in front of Levistus's ice block. (Levistus will keep teleporting them over on demand if he knows what's good for him).

Once in a while he'll send one over to Mephistopheles and laugh when it melts before he gets to it.

rs2excelsior
2015-05-27, 08:07 PM
Birios, Gnome Sorcerer, will light a bunch of stuff on fire for a Klondike bar. Come to think of it, that's his first approach to most problems that can't be solved by diplomacy.

Hatholdir, Hobgoblin Paladin of St. Cuthbert, would track anyone or anything who had wronged the Klondike bar to the ends of the earth, and then bring them to justice on the blade of his glaive, if the Klondike bar had been wronged.

Exploiting multiple definitions of the word "for" FTW!

goto124
2015-05-27, 10:31 PM
Sarpedon the veteran of the Siege at Uranus (where he's seen some s***)

Eheheheheheh.

curious-puzzle
2015-05-28, 12:11 AM
Haearnbydd the Elven Malconvoker wouldn't kill for a Klondike bar.

That's what he has his fiendish dupes for. They'd kill at the drop of a hat. Or banana, seeing as they're probably giant demon apes going by past evidence.

Sacrieur
2015-05-28, 01:30 AM
Guard2 would give his life against the raging barbarian who seeks to disrupt the order of the city for a klondike bar. All so he can finally say to their corpses, "Here I finally got you what you always wanted."

There has not since lived a more honorable man. RIP Guard2.

Maglubiyet
2015-05-28, 07:13 AM
Some PC's I know would completely ignore the Klondike bar plot hook and go off and start trying use their Pickpocket skills to shoplift various items in the town's open-air bazaar. Eventually it would turn into a running battle with the local magistrate and his men.

When reminded of the Klondike bar the players would make accusations of "railroading" and go off and murder some farm animals or something.

King of Casuals
2015-05-28, 11:30 AM
Nicha Brias would seduce a young naïve nobleman with satan magic, write herself into his will, and then poison him. She would then use the money to buy the klondike bar factory, then join a group of easily manipulated group of do-gooder adventurers, meet up with her native tribe of gypsies, and take over the world, giving her lordship over all klondike bars. Then have her alignment switched to lawful good against her will by a cleric and develop a severe case of schizophrenia, split into two seperate people with wildly different personalities (again, satan magic), and then the good Nicha would fight the evil Nicha over who would have control over the flow of klondike bars in a climactic battle in the throne room of her castle.

Drakefall
2015-05-28, 11:40 AM
Voidborn, Inquisition acolyte Havelock Wolfe would efficiently and correctly fill out and submit to his local Administratum office every form necessary to requisition a Klondike bar, in triplicate.

Most of my other character would just, y'know, buy one.

Ralanr
2015-05-28, 01:09 PM
Kyro, the dragonborn barbarian, would walk to wherever the Klondike bar was and take it. For the Klondike bar.

Anonymouswizard
2015-05-28, 01:53 PM
Snow, the Hacker/Rigger, would wonder what a Klondike Bar is before buying her Dairy Milk.

Johnny, the Children of Gaia Philodox, would sell his Silver Fang packmate to the race track.

Kantaki
2015-05-28, 02:31 PM
What would my Characters do for a klondike bar? Well lets take a look at them. (All chars are from DSA)

Elissa Saba Eslam, maga and Alchemist would haggle the merchant to death for some klondike bars, eat one and take the others apart to find out the recipe and with spells she needs to recreate and preserve them. Once that is done she would start making her own.

Livia, an Amazon would pay an fair price for one and if nessecary fight bandits to defend the klondike bars. No demons through, sweets are not that important.

Rondralieb von Falkenhag (The name is most likely false:smallbiggrin:), rogue and ordained priestess of Phex (god of thieves and merchants and the moon) would either haggle even worse than Elissa, offer the merchant a blessing in turn or just find the fanciest and most impressive way to empty the klondike bar warehouse and after giving her guild and her god their share for the support and the good fortune share the loot with all her friends.

Wanyie Liebt-den-Winter, elvish warrior, would give the merchant some of the metal pieces humans love so much and wonder for a while why the roseears took so much effort to create this small piece of ice and give it this odd taste. Ultimatly she would dismiss the whole concept of klondike bars as badoc and as human foolishness.

Hawkstar
2015-05-28, 02:47 PM
So many people seem to miss the point of the "What would you do for a Klondike Bar" line... it's not about how you'd acquire one, but what you'd do in exchange for one!

The Ancient Guardian will stand down and not incinerate traitorous Orphans who defy the law of the Empire for such petty reasons as "We're starving!" or "The Empire doesn't do anything for us" (What blasphemous hubris is this, to believe that the Empire is to serve them, instead of the other way around?!)

Mrawn Tikar, a Mandalorian-descended Togorian mercenary who lived a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away would take a low-risk, short term job for just a klondike bar. Or, if he's already on a dangerous, well-paying mission, he'd volunteer to pull of the most dangerous and mission-critical tasks for a klondike bar.

veti
2015-05-28, 03:13 PM
So many people seem to miss the point of the "What would you do for a Klondike Bar" line... it's not about how you'd acquire one, but what you'd do in exchange for one!

In the first place, I for one have never seen a Klondike Bar and I doubt if you could pay me enough to eat an ice cream at this time of year. It was 5 degrees this morning.

In the second place, why do you want to spoil our badwrongfun?

Hawkstar
2015-05-28, 03:20 PM
In the second place, why do you want to spoil our badwrongfun?

Because it's more fun to read about what silly/ridiculous things a person would be convinced to do (Especially if it's against their better judgement or well out-of-character!) for a trivial-but-treated-as-awesome reward.

Bard1cKnowledge
2015-05-28, 06:04 PM
These are all amazing. I, the creator of this thread would continue the badwrongfun and make another post for a Klondike bar.

Bümkrieg, my goblin alchemist, on the other hand, would blow up a bridge in the name of his god, "Sie Ense" for many desserts

Anonymouswizard
2015-05-28, 06:14 PM
Because it's more fun to read about what silly/ridiculous things a person would be convinced to do (Especially if it's against their better judgement or well out-of-character!) for a trivial-but-treated-as-awesome reward.

Maybe for you, but some of us enjoy the wrongbadfun, both can be equally entertaining. I think that the OP will agree that the thread has room for both.

Leaving before I raid the store for ice cream.

Hawkstar
2015-05-28, 06:27 PM
Maybe for you, but some of us enjoy the wrongbadfun, both can be equally entertaining. I think that the OP will agree that the thread has room for both.

Leaving before I raid the store for ice cream.
GET BACK HERE AND POST WHAT YOUR CHARACTER WOULD DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR!

Anyway - Frodo Baggins (Pronounced Fro-due) the Halfsploitation Hero From the Hood would gather his fellow mijjits and put on a spontaneous street rap and funk concert to stick it to the Big Man for a klondike bar.

Anonymouswizard
2015-05-28, 06:45 PM
GET BACK HERE AND POST WHAT YOUR CHARACTER WOULD DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR!

Anyway - Frodo Baggins (Pronounced Fro-due) the Halfsploitation Hero From the Hood would gather his fellow mijjits and put on a spontaneous street rap and funk concert to stick it to the Big Man for a klondike bar.

Fine, I'll do another one.

Alex David the 'yeah right you can be a priest keep on dreaming lad' would stop the nun from having lots of 'fun' with the lust demon in exchange for a Klondike bar.

AvatarVecna
2015-05-29, 08:30 PM
Brom Jaivole (Dashing Swordsman and Gentleman Adventurer) would challenge the factory owner to a duel; in the event that the owner refuses (or kicks his butt), Brom would break in and steal every last bar in the place, as well as a single tiny-but-necessary machine part from every machine that makes the bars. He would then locate a black market buyer, since there are apparently a horde of people out there who would do just about anything to get one.

Jay R
2015-05-29, 09:32 PM
Well, he wouldn't walk a mile for one. That's reserved for Camels.

[Note: I'm answering a question about a 1980s commercial (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNRiFBrX7Nk) with an answer from a 1960s commercial (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIxtnMfCURs).]

Ishimi
2015-05-30, 01:57 AM
Puck, my Coure eladrin sorcerer, would burn down the library of everlasting knowledge... Again for a Klondike bar


For those of you who love that mummy back-story, in the game I'm using him we treat coure eladrin as being exactly the same, but only about 4-7 inches tall. The exact reason for this vandalism is that there was a lich with a deck of cards. Every time you drew one he would answer a question and then you would be afflicted with a rather terrible ailment (usually completely crippling) this lich was in the library of everlasting knowledge. My party, being pragmatic, decided to look through the library themselves. Puck, being the embodiment of carefree dickery, idly drew about seven while they weren't looking. (all of the questions were pointless, one was literally "WHY!?", to which he answered, "because.") for the final few I asked some semi serious ones that actually would have helped with the quest, and then I asked "what is your deepest desire" and then as I drew a card I told him that if it has anything to do with pursuing knowledge or some jaded crap that I would burn his library down. After about three minutes of silence he says "... I seek the pursuit of kn" and at that point I threw every single card in the air screaming wildly as I burnt his library down.

oxybe
2015-05-31, 01:39 PM
If our last session of Edge of the Empire is any indication this image (http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Drive_a3c5ab_819515.jpg) is a somewhat accurate representation of what my Wookie Marauder, Rorworr, would do.

Give vehicular chase to a band of Rodian Klondike bar thieves and in the middle of a firefight, bring out his force pike and yell at our driver to bring him closer. Then jump vehicles mid-drive, engage the thieves, throw their driver out of the vehicle, grab the bar, safely action-guy jump out of the careening vehicle and not look back because cool Wookies don't look at explosions.

But they do enjoy a Klondike bar.

MrWoodchip
2015-05-31, 09:07 PM
Jack, the Chaotic Neutral Elven Rogue Hellbreaker would probably wage a war against the powerful devil controlling their production, then blink through the factory's back wall to steal one while his hired mercs leads an assault on the front.

comicshorse
2015-06-01, 06:03 PM
Count Jacob Corleone-Sigmar. Baron of Bogenhafen and Reinhaven, Lord of the Shining Marches and Champion to the Elector of Nuln wouldn't waste a second of his time for a Klondike bar.
In fact why is he talking to you, he's got people for dealing with this kind of minutiae. He's much too busy for this kind of thing

Kane0
2015-06-02, 02:37 AM
Paddock lorecaller, sorcerer dropout under the guise of a graduated wizard, would break the forth wall for a klondike bar.

Teldras124
2015-06-02, 09:53 PM
Oh, Gods. My main character, who is the namesake of my account, was a charismatic-drunk. One time he woke up, lying in a bush with a homeless man stealing his stuff. He proceeded to beat the man, then stole his shoes, screaming the entire time "Don't mess with my hangover!!!!!"

He has some small thread of logic when he's sober, so lets make it fun and assume he's drunk.



Well, he'd go to the local tavern (assuming he's not already there) and find a random elf, start talking, start a drinking game, get the elf passed out, Steal his hair and clothes, proceed to leave the man in the local Monastery, Tell a monk that he's the decedent of the gods, Kick the priest in the Balls, Get more drunk, Hallucinate someone near him and damage private property, invent the Klondike bar, pass out and forget the recipe, wake up next to a half eaten Klondike, Enjoy devouring it, Research for 100 years and finally re-invent the Klondike bar,


so in total, He would have desecrated the church, created a new religious movement and invented something way to early, only to forget it.




Eh, he's done worse.

illyahr
2015-06-03, 09:59 AM
Random (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=16543073&postcount=38) the Mad God of Atrophy would squiggle the phalanges of a jubjub for a klondike bar.

PrincessCupcake
2015-06-15, 12:31 AM
Black Powder Bonnie would arm wrestle a were-tiger for a klondike bar. Or take a stupid dare like "play the piano with your nose". Then cast Hideous Laughter on anyone who tried to take it away.

Truxton Galehart.....would probably take no interest until a rival or his buddy decided they wanted it. Then he'd lie, cheat, steal, bully, and murder to get one. Then extort the rival, or derpily hand it over to his buddy.

Lilian would simply ask nicely or purchase one. Or challenge the frozen prince of hell to single combat if he had dare take possession of such an innocent treat.

Lualla Morticia would use her various networks and contacts to track down, negotiate for, and acquire a klondike bar.

Blackberry would turn into a squirrel, climb you like a jungle gym, and snatch it from your unwitting hand. She's classy like that.