OtoS songs modeled off of Blackadder

[Duke Malagigi]

Looking back to the funerary song (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2471822&postcount=11) to Roy Greenhilt I produced, I've decided to begin a thread simply for songs dedicated to the Order of the Stick's characters, and yes this would include the villains as well (even Miko the Terrible). I just have but one specific rule, any song created must be in the style of one of the Blackadder closing themes. If you want to know what they are click the spoiler button below.

The Black Adder
The sound of hoofbeats 'cross the glade,
Good folk, lock up your son and daughter,
Beware the deadly flashing blade,
Unless you want to end up shorter.

Black Adder, Black Adder,
he rides a pitch black steed.
Black Adder, Black Adder,
he's very bad indeed.

Black: his gloves of finest mole,
Black: his codpiece made of metal,
His horse is blacker than a vole,
His pot is blacker than his kettle.

Black Adder, Black Adder,
with many a cunning plan.
Black Adder, Black Adder,
you horrid little man.

The Death of The Black Adder

So now, the wage of sin is paid:
The blade is still, the black steed grazes.
The only sound across the glade
Is Edmund pushing up the daisies.

Black Adder, Black Adder,
a shame about the plan:
Black Adder, Black Adder:
Farewell, you horrid man.

Blackadder II

Bells
So Flashheart tweaked the Adders beard,
From now he always shall be single.
To fall in love with boys is weird,
especially boys without a tingle.

Blackadder, Blackadder.
His taste is rather odd.
Blackadder, Blackadder,
The randy little sod.

Lord Flashheart, Lord Flashheart,
I wish you were the star.
Lord Flashheart, Lord Flashheart,
You're sexier by far.

Head
His great-grandfather was a king,
Although for only thirty seconds.
When put in charge of beheading,
He felt that fame and glory beckoned.

Blackadder, Blackadder,
No such blooming luck.
Blackadder, Blackadder,
Elizabethan schmuck.

Blackadder, Blackadder,
Nothing goes as planned.
Blackadder, Blackadder,
Life deals him a bum hand.

Potato
Sir Francis and Sir Walter had
Discovered New Worlds and new nations.
And though Blackadder thought them mad,
He tried his hand at navigation.

Blackadder, Blackadder,
He saw the oceans foam.
Blackadder, Blackadder,
He should have stayed at home.

Blackadder, Blackadder,
He heard the New World call.
Blackadder, Blackadder,
Discovered bugger all!

Money
Take heed the moral of this tale,
Be not a borrower or lender,
And if your finances do fail,
Make sure your banker's not a bender

Blackadder, Blackadder,
He trusted in the Church,
Blackadder, Blackadder,
It left him in the lurch.

Blackadder, Blackadder,
His life was almost done.
Blackadder, Blackadder,
Who gives a toss? No-one!

Beer
Blackadder couldn't hold his beer,
The art of boozing he's not mastered.
And I, your merry balladeer,
am also well and truly plastered.

Blackadder, Blackadder,
A bit like Robin Hood.
Blackadder, Blackadder,
But nothing like as good.

Blackadder, Blackadder,
I thought that he had died,
Blackadder, Blackadder,
The writers must have lied.

Chains
Beware, all ye who lust for fame!
The path of life is most uncertain.
Prince Ludwig thought he'd won the game,
But now, the Kraut's gone for a Burton.

Blackadder, Blackadder,
He beat the Hun by luck.
Blackadder, Blackadder,
He's smarter than a duck.

Lord Melchett, Lord Melchett,
Intelligent and deep.
Lord Melchett, Lord Melchett,
A shame about the sheep!

Blackadder Back and Forth
“Let joy fill every Briton's heart;
For now our country's going to make it;
At last a King who looks the part;
At last a Queen who looks good naked."

"Blackadder, Blackadder;
A monarch with panache!;
Blackadder, Blackadder;
He's got a nice moustache!"

"Everything he wants, he'll get;
The world is now Blackadder's oyster;
Most prime ministers are wet;
But Baldrick, he is even moister!"

"Blackadder, Blackadder;
A dog who's got his bone!;
Blackadder, Blackadder;
A bastard on the throne!"

"Blackadder, Blackadder;
His beard is neatly curled!;
Blackadder, Blackadder;
He's going to rule the world!"

[mockingbyrd7]

The Stabbing Halfling

The sound of bare feet 'cross the glade
Good folk, lock up those who're near & dear
Beware his deadly stabbing blades
Or you'll end up even shorter than he (guess which character I'm doing)

Must be Belkar, must be Belkar (Aww, how'd you guess? :smallfrown: )
He wears no shoes at all, (I couldn't come up w/ a rhyme for "he rides a weiner dog")
Must be Belkar, must be Belkar
With your head he'll play futbol (soccer; see strip 75)

OR:
Must be Belkar, must be Belkar
He's completely off his rocker
Must be Belkar, must be Belkar
With your head he will play soccer (Man, I'm good :smallbiggrin: )


Stab: his knives of finest steel
Stab: his Ring of Jumping +20
His knife's the last thing you'll ever feel
He'll give you stabs-a-plenty!

Must be Belkar, must be Belkar
He'll shorten your lifespan
Must be Belkar, must be Belkar
You twisted little man

[NeonRonin]

I didn't think I'd see more than one Blackadder post in this forum, but here's number 2 and I am highly amused. Can't think of any lyrics at the moment, maybe sometime tomorrow. Duke Malagigi, I salute you as a fellow Edmund Blackadder aficionado. :smallsmile:

[NeonRonin]

I recant my previous statement. Behold, in the stylings of Blackadder 2:

His father Eugene was a sage,
although with parent skills quite lacking.
Pestered his son to be a mage,
but that just set his mind towards hacking.

Roy Greenhilt, Roy Greenhilt,
he'll leave the goblins dead.
Roy Greenhilt, Roy Greenhilt,
he went and shaved his head.

Roy Greenhilt, Roy Greenhilt,
with allies all insane...
Roy Greenhilt, Roy Greenhilt,
he's getting a migraine.

(echoing behind the final refrain) ELAN!!!!!!!!

[JoseB]

OK, let me try this one... :smalltongue:

Let joy fill every elvish heart;
For now our race is going to make it.
At last an elf who can kick ass,
(but we don't know what ze's like naked).

Vaarsuvius, Vaarsuvius;
A wizard with big bangs!
Vaarsuvius, Vaarsuvius;
Ze loves zis long harangues!

Wherever, anywhere ze went,
Ze proved to be the ultimate caster.
Ze tells the cosmos to get bent,
And it obeys its Supreme Master.

Vaarsuvius, Vaarsuvius,
V-dog has got zis bone!
Vaarsuvius, Vaarsuvius,
Ze's fully "on the zone"!

Vaarsuvius, Vaarsuvius,
Ze said those great 4 words!
Vaarsuvius, Vaarsuvius,
Ze's going to rule the world!

[RMS Oceanic]

His mother was a kindly Maid
His father, quite the ruthless Warlord
His brother, through deception made
Him suffer on his evil longsword

It's Elan! It's Elan!
Praise, praise, praise, praise this Bard!
It's Elan! It's Elan!
He will take Roy's death hard.

It's Elan! It's Elan!
Eighteen Charisma makes
It's Elan! It's Elan!
A Dashing Swordsman great!

-----

The power behind the bony throne!
The Bearer of the Crimson Mantle.
This Goblin is inside the zone!
The Sapphire Guard, he will dismantle!

Praise Redcloak, Praise Redcloak
Let's throw him a parade!
Praise Redcloak, Praise Redlcoak
And his passing Chem Grade!

Praise Redcloak, Praise Redcloak
Soon's Gate he'll soon control!
Praise Redcloak, Praise Redcloak
He is on quite a roll!

[Strengfellow]

See the little Belkar
See his little feet
Look at his little kivey wivies
Isnt the Belkar sweet

Adapted from the Goblin song in the Beer episode.

[Duke Malagigi]

Good work people. I'll see if I can come up with another song in a week (maybe even two songs).

[Duke Malagigi]

The Good Thief Haley Starshine and Her Problem with Money
Poor Haley's father is in a most depressing jail,
Her lament and sorrow truly is heartfelt,
And if Roy and the Order understood her travail,
They'd know why she couldn't talk after watching her gold melt

Miss Starshine, Miss Starshine,
Her behavior smacks of greed,
Miss Starshine, Miss Starshine,
It is caused by her father's great need.

Poor Elan, Poor Elan,
He’s a good and charming foppish lad.
Poor Elan, Poor Elan,
For Haley he might have to fight his own dad!


Note: This is based on the theory that Lord Tyrinar is Elan's and Nale's father.
This also may not be the best that I've done, but I did it on the schedule that I did my first song (The Death of Roy Greenhilt).

[RMS Oceanic]

It's nice, but the lines of the first part are too long to fit into the Blackadder tune. It goes in an 8-9-8-9 syllable pattern, while the chorus goes in a 6-5-6-5 structure.

[ADZAELL]

Alright, i'll have a crack at it.

The one who always holds the line,
His intentions always clear to see.
He is a caster so divine,
Though he seems to fear a simple tree.

He’s Durkon, he’s Durkon,
A shame he is so short.
He’s Durkon, he’s Durkon,
He’s armoured like a Fort.

He’s always there to heal a stab or cut,
With a spell that begins with “Cure”.
He basically called Julia a slut,
For using her sexual allure.

He’s Durkon, He’s Durkon
He’s honest and he’s true.
He’s Durkon, He’s Durkon
He asks “What would Thor do?”

[NeonRonin]

Looks like we've covered the six Order members; now can anyone do Blackadder songs about other characters?

I personally am too lazy/just got up and too tired right now to do a song about Miko or Nale, but might try later on...

[totalnerduk]

The sound of hoofbeats 'cross the glade,
Bad guys, and old folks be you wary,
Beware the deadly flashing blade,
This paladin is bloody scary.

She’s Miko, she’s crazy,
She rides her steed no more,
She’s Miko, she’s fallen,
She cares less for Good than Law.

Blue, her robe no longer is,
Grey, it shows her fallen status,
Gone, are all her bonus feats,
But are they merely on hiatus?

Oh Miko, Oh Miko,
In jail and in disgrace,
Bloodthirsty, Foolhardy,
But we still think you’re ace!


Terrible last line, I know. Couldn't find a rhyme that fit.

[Roethke]

The Stabbing Halfling
Must be Belkar, must be Belkar (Aww, how'd you guess? :smallfrown: )
He wears no shoes at all, (I couldn't come up w/ a rhyme for "he rides a weiner dog")
Must be Belkar, must be Belkar
With your head he'll play futbol (soccer; see strip 75)



Just to help you out with the wiener dog line...

It's Belkar, It's Belkar
He rides a wiener dog
It's Belkar, It's Belkar
Go fetch the soapy frogs...

[ColourDeaf]

The sound of paw-beats in the night,
NPCs would be prudent to quickly flee,
He's known as the three foot blight
He's after your precious XP!

Bitterleaf! Bietterleaf!
He searches high and low!
Bitterleaf! Bitterleaf!
For victims, friend or foe!

Red! His knives are slick with blood!
Red! He stabs you with neck!
His hairy, bare feet squealch through mud!
Be wary, he'll send you to Heck!

Bitterleaf! Bitterleaf!
His knives are drenched in gore!
Bitterleaf! Bitterleaf!
The shoeless God of War!

[NeonRonin]

Okay, I had to try one more.:smallsmile:

A redhead shadow in the night,
Good folks, lock up your gold and treasure.
Or it will soon be taking flight,
For stealing baubles is her pleasure.

Miss Starshine, Miss Starshine,
Her father's in the clink,
Miss Starshine, fair Starshine,
She's quicker than you'd think.

Red- her fiery silken hair,
Green- her arrows, quickly flying.
Her armor causes men to stare,
While Elan's smiles can have her sighing.

Miss Starshine, Miss Starshine,
Roy's second in command,
Miss Starshine, Miss Starshine,
She'll steal from any man.

[ref]

bump because I'm trying one and it's drifting low in 2nd page.

[PlasticSoldier]

XYKON! XYKON!
As evil as can be!
He killed Fyron!
Pal'dins should flee!

Soon's gate he does control!
Soon the world will be no more!

He seris'ly Pummeled
That guy named Redpommel
With redcloak at his side
Azure was surely fried!!

[NeonRonin]

PlasticSoldier: A fair attempt, but it doesn't seem to fit the beat of the Blackadder theme. Needs a few more rhymes as well.