Funniest Gaming Quotes

[blackout]

For me? Any Grunt quotes from Halo.

"US FIRST! WE'RE SMALLER!"
"THEIR EVERYWHERE!"
"Down in front!"
"Heads up!"
"LEADER DEAD! RUN A-WAY!"
"Here! Enemy! More!"


:smallbiggrin:

[Setra]

"Good job, Gordon, throwing that switch and all. I can see your MIT education really pays for itself."

Quote fixed

On another note...

"You mean it's working? For real this time? Because... I still have nightmares about that cat."

[Rob Knotts]

From a Hellion boss in City of Heroes, when he first sees your hero approaching:

"And THIS is why I hate abducting psychics!"

[NEO|Phyte]

Pretty much anything uttered by an Ork in the Dawn of War series.

[Ronsian]

"You don't touch the other elves this way"
"It not easy being green"
"Help help! I'm being repressed!"
All warcraft quotes,I can't remember any Minsc, but they were good.

[The Orange Zergling]

The Blood Mage's rant about Blood in WC3.

[Indon]

"Me not that kind of orc!"
"My name is Deckard, and I'm a little bit ornery. I look like Patrick Stewart, and sound like Sean Connery!" (I'm pretty sure the google search "Deckard Cain Rap" will bring up a reference)

[Mr. Mud]

Funnniest is by far "DOH"

[EricDerKonig]

"Frog blast the vent core!"

[Lemur]

"We'll call that Plan Stupid. I named it after ya. Wait, why're you smiling?"
"Because you named a plan after me!"

[Archpaladin Zousha]

This could be the beginning of a long record...

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"That was astonishing! I haven't seen such martial skills in an eatery since the last time I added ginger to my wife's hot and sour soup!"
- Henpecked Hou

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"I like this mode of travel even less than your flying bug-eyed barrel. Besides, any heaven worth visiting should have us knee-deep in wine. Top down."
- The Black Whirlwind

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"Sigh...more interruptions. Look, I don't have any work, I don't need anything fetched and I don't have any missing relatives for you to rescue!"

"You said your nephew was lost. Don't you want to find him?

"Lost cause, Mr. Wong. I said he was a lost cause. The boy was spoiled by my sister and...why am I telling you this? Just go away!"

- Cook Teh and Dishwasher Wong

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"Well, the next time I want to hide something, I'm going to pack explosives around it. Explosives shaped like silver bananas. Stops thieves, monkeys and monkey thieves in one fell swoop!"

-Kang the Mad

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"His title mystifies me, except for the Magnificent Bastard portion. I'm pretty certain I know how he came by that part."

"Meh, it's a living."

-Percival

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"You're married?!"

"Ugly people need love too."

-The main character and Gravedigger Shen

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"I apologize if I'm using words that are beyond your comprehension. Very few can match the supply or the command of my language." (or pretty much anything he says)

-Qui the Promoter

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"We should just kill Sheng. Nice and simple. Kill his guards too."

"Yes, and while we're at it we could kill Fang, and his guards too. Unleash rivers of blood in the streets all in the service of the Lotus Assassins!"

"Hah! Now that is how you interrupt the bureaucratic process! I'm all for it."

"I think Zu was being sarcastic."

The Black Whirlwind, Sagacious Zu and the main character, discussing strategy

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"Yes, dear."

"Do I have to slaughter that thing to get you to pay some attention to me?"

"No, dear."

"Are you lying again?"

"No, dear."

"Are you listening to me?"

"No, dear."

*SLAP*

- Merchant Hing and Sing Wa, discussing their ox

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"Your breath is like the wind of an ox. Your last meal was of suspect quality."

-Servant Ji

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Also pretty much anything Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard says. Just read my sig. Yeah, Jade Empire has got some really funny moments! :smallbiggrin:

[Samurai General]

"Expendable! You are all expendable!":smalltongue: from Battalion Wars.

[averagejoe]

Warcraft III:

A female (nonhuman) unit: "I'll attract the enemy with my human call... I'm so wasted! I'm so wasted!"

(By the Pandaren brewmaster) "I bring PANDAMONIUM!" "Now YOU are the one who is endangered!" "I can't breed in captivity."

Minsc:

"When the going gets tough, somebody hold my rodent!"

"Make way evil! I am armed to the teeth and packing a hamster!"

"Magic is impressive, but now Minsc leads! Swords for everyone!"

"Stand and deliver, so my hamster might have a better look at you!"

Starcraft:

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for.... STOP POKING ME!"

"E equals mc... d'oh, let me get my notes."

[Raistlin1040]

"I cast Magic Missile at the darkness"
Someone was bound to say it...

[Everto]

Everything they say in this:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ywNR--oJAQ8

[Pronounceable]

Pretty much anything HK 47 says.

Many amusing quotes from Edwin, and especially this:
"Elminster this, Elminster that, give ME two thousand years and a pointy hat, and I'll kick his arse!"

A banter from Torment:
Grace: Morte, I'm curious... What happened to your body?
Morte: Me? I'm the head of Vecna.

Another gem from Morte: "Hey Grace, do you want to take me in your inventory?"

Possibly the best conversation Jedi Academy has to offer:
Luke: I sense a disturbance in the Force...
Kyle: You always sense a disturbance in the Force...

The opening scene of Nox:
Hecubah: *chanting interrupted when a candle goes off* DAMN! Stupid candlemakers, gonna kill them all when I'm ruling the world...

[Alex Kidd]

Probably the entire box conversation in MGS3.

Sigint: Uh, Snake... What are you doing?

Snake: I'm in a box.

Sigint: A cardboard box? Why are you...?

Snake: I dunno. I was just looking at it and I suddenly got this urge to get
inside. No, not just an urge - more than that. It was my destiny to be here;
in the box.

Sigint: Destiny...?

Snake: Yeah. And then when I put it on, I suddenly got this feeling of inner
peace. I can't put it into words. I feel... safe. Like this is where I was
meant to be. Like I'd found the key to true happiness.

Sigint: ...

Snake: Does any of that make sense?

Sigint: Not even a little.

Snake: You should come inside the box... Then you'll know what I mean.

Sigint: Man, I don't wanna know what you mean! Between you and Para-Medic, is
everyone but me that is hooked up with the Major strange!?

Snake: ...

Sigint: Yeah, well, anyway, I suppose even that dumbass box might make a
decent disguise if you wear it inside a building.

Courtesy of GameFAQS, script FAQ

[The Orange Zergling]

Everything they say in this:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ywNR--oJAQ8

Oh god.

I burst laughing.

[Assasinater]

There are hundreds of lines worth quoting in Warcraft 3, but here's a couple:

"Mortaaar Combaaat!" - Mortar Team

"I'll now demonstrate the doppler effect. Dopppleeer!" - Gyrocopter

[Ebon_Drake]

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=17019 is a pretty good run-down, though the #1 is obvious.

Also, see my sig. The Samurai Shodown series as a whole is full of hilariously nonsensical phrases, but that one's my favourite.

[Shadow of the Sun]

Possibly the best video game quote ever: "Assassin droid is such a crude term, reserved for durasteel drones uploaded with only the most archaic kill programs. The function I perform has been referred to as wanton slaughter." - HK-50

[Khantalas]

Col. Campbell: Raiden! Turn the game console off right now!

And the rest of what Col. Campbell has to say until before the final battle.

[RationalGoblin]

Yeah, Shadow, I agree. The 1st HK-50 is awesome.

Everytime I play the game, I get mad that he was easy to kill, and that he was the weakest of the HK-50s. I mean, the rocket-launcher Hks? Any grunt could shoot the "hero" with a rocket launcher, but the 1st HK-50 took out an entire mining falicilty without nearly lifting a finger. Hk-50 is why I love playing droids.

But, anyways, a gaming quote?

Well, almost anything from Kreia.

Also, this converstation is made of win.

Sion: "I sense you, my master. Faint, weak."
Kreia: "Your senses betray you, as you betrayed me."
Sion: "After all that has happened, still you live? You are difficult to kill."
Kreia: "For one as limited as you, perhaps. To have fallen so far and learned nothing, that is your failing."
Sion: "The failure is yours! No longer do your whispers crawl within my skull! No longer do I suffer beneath teachings that weaken us! And now you run in search of the Jedi. They are all dead, save one. And one broken Jedi cannot stop the darkness that is to come.

[Everto]

Oh god.

I burst laughing.

There are three more on the right sidebar.

[averagejoe]

I can't believe I forgot about HK!

Mercenary: There's something out there... it got the other submersible already.
HK-47: Suggestion: Perhaps we could dismember the organic? It would make it easier for transport to the surface.
Mercenary: Hey! Y-you... you can't rip me to pieces! I'll die!
HK-47: Amendment: I did forget that. Stupid, frail, non-compartmentalized meatbags!

HK-47: Explanation: It's just that... you have all these squishy parts, master. And all that water! How the constant sloshing doesn't drive you mad, I have no idea...

Hk-47: Explanation: two per cent probability that the miniature organic is simply looking for trouble and needs to be blasted. That may be wishful thinking on my part, master.

[SITB]

Pretty much most of the dialouge of Star Control 2.

Highlights include:

Shofixti:

"You killed my father, my mother, my brother, all six of my sisters; in fact my entire species. Prepare to die!"

Spathi:

"Each day, us Spathi start with the morning prayer: 'Oh God... please don't let me die today! Tomorrow would be so much better!'."

"We are the Spathi high council, The Safe Ones"

To the VUX:

"If sorrow was a pebble ours would be like a very large rock!"

Orz:

"Hello to our *HOUSE*. Do you feel *BETTER* yet? You are *CAMPERS* and you will enjoy *THE CHANGE*, but maybe not yet. Let's *SPITTING* the fun words for several *PIECES*, and then surprising things!"

Pkunk:

"The stars are in auspicious alignment, the various significant moons are in the correct houses, and ambient psychic energies are in balance. All is well, and the universe is at peace. Well, actually 2/3 of our civilization has been decimated by the Ilwrath, but besides that, all is well."

[Reinboom]

Wow, no Kefka yet?
"This is sickening! you sound like chapters from a selfhelp booklet! prepare yourselves!"
"Poor old... oh well, what a worthless excuse of an emperor"
"I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate you"
etc.

[lumberofdabeast]

Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga.

All of it.

[Abacab]

"If something were to happen to me, all the world's women would grieve!"
Edgar, from FFVI

But my personal favorite is by Squall:

"This is an emergency so listen carefully...Cafeteria team, collect all the hot dogs and store everything in the secret shelter. Don't leave anything for the enemy."

Please save the hot dogs.

[Assasinater]

There was this fellow in BG2:ToB, in the first city, that had a "interesting" choice of words, like:

"If you vacate these premises forthwith, I shall exonerate you for the transgession of your intrusion."

or,

"My utilization of complex locution is more a reflection of my superincumbent mental acuity, than an aspersion of your circumscribed lexicon."

,to which, you could answer with this line, if you had enough int:

"Maybe your grandoise vocabulary is a pathetic compensation for an insufficiency in the nether regions of your anatomy."

[The Great Skenardo]

Neverwinter Nights 2;

"I wish both of you would just shut up! The whole trip was nothing but one big whine from you!
'Oh, me stomach...this ship rocks like a baby's cradle' and
'This water is so unnatural and deep, not like the swamp full of dead people I grew up in'
" -Neeshka, sassing the dwarf fighter and elven druidess.

[Khantalas]

"Maybe your grandoise vocabulary is a pathetic compensation for an insufficiency in the nether regions of your anatomy."

So, do you get to say "Oh yeah? Well, your manly part is tiny!" if you have a low intelligence?

[Innis Cabal]

the ... from every ninja in water margin series

[J_Muller]

There was a good one once in a DnD computer RPG (may have been Baldur's Gate II, but don't hold me to that) I once played.


NPC adventurer: "So, I went in and killed the rats, and they gave me a measly 5 GP."
You: "*Scoffs* If I wanted 5 GP, I'd pull it out of my stool."
NPC adventurer: "Erm... remind me never to borrow money from you, then."

[Assasinater]

So, do you get to say "Oh yeah? Well, your manly part is tiny!" if you have a low intelligence?

Unfortunately, extra lines only happen to intelligent characters in RPGs (well, except for Fallout, where you can have a lot of fun with a low int character).

[Jacob_Gallagher]

System Shock page, this is absolutely hilarious:
http://www.it-he.org/sshock.htm

Just read the whole thing.

Oh, and this, from Independence War:
"Listen, I didn't ask for some kind of... digital command assistant!"
"Digital assistant! DIGITAL ASSISTANT!?! That's me, right? Get your untrained crew out into darkest space, and if you run into a little trouble, wander off the edge of your limited, simulator-safe academy training, well then the crew can drop their milk and cookies press a few buttons and the Captain-O-Matic pops out the answer well I don't think so.

[Shadow of the Sun]

It has to be done: All of your base are belong to us!

[averagejoe]

NPC adventurer: "So, I went in and killed the rats, and they gave me a measly 5 GP."
You: "*Scoffs* If I wanted 5 GP, I'd pull it out of my stool."
NPC adventurer: "Erm... remind me never to borrow money from you, then."

I think that was BGII, both because I kinda remember that conversation, and because in BGI you had to kill a few rats (for 5 gp) in one of your first missions. It was actually pretty funny, just because your journal said something like, "Here I go to battle a fierce enemy, if I don't come back tell my wife I love her," type of stuff.

[Pronounceable]

I really wish no one would remember that. But now that it has been said, here it goes: "They set us up the bomb!"


Got another one from everyone's favorite floating skull:
-Grace, do you have any sisters?
-Thousands...
-Give me a moment to be delirious with joy!


Then there's the sequence of 3rd level adventurer party attacking the +20th level party in BG: ToB. Main character turns into the Slayer and rips them apart, then the suckers reload.

[averagejoe]

How could I forget everyone's favorite +3 mind protecting greatsword, Lilarcor?

"I'm sharp, I can come up with something... OK... find someone who knows what you want to know and threaten to kill them! Yeah! Then kill them! Woo-hoo!!!"

"I know! Start swinging! Eventually you'll lop off the head of someone important and then the good fights will REALLY start!"

"YOINK!!! Got your nose!"

"And that`s for grandma, who said I'd never amount to anything more than a butterknife!"

[Beleriphon]

More BG2 this time from Yoshimo.

"Hiyah! Hehe, the tourists love that stuff."

[Murongo]

Star control 3 had some good Spathi quotes too.

"We tried colonizing here but there were these huge rodents! We tried to blast them but they scattered away, as if to regroup for a massive assault!"
"So you were afraid of bunnies?"
"Not bunnies! Huge rodents with massive teeth! Ok... yeah, bunnies."

Or the daktaklakpak
"You must have a shorter version of your name"
"Daktaklakpak is shorter version! The full name is -5 minute long name-"
"I think I'll call you 'daks'"
At which point they're so insulted they attack you.

How about gears of war? I'll try quoting it but the curse filter may stop me
"Oh yeah come on down its a f***in party down here."
-Baird
"Is the resonater ok?"
"Of course, the train is a smooooth ride."
-Marcus and Coletrain

Everything in starfox 64 is hilarious.
"Hey Einstein, I'm on your side"
shut the hell up falco

[averagejoe]

Everything in starfox 64 is hilarious.
"Hey Einstein, I'm on your side"
shut the hell up falco

Prepare to be SCARRED for life.

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=223

[Dragor]

I think that was BGII, both because I kinda remember that conversation, and because in BGI you had to kill a few rats (for 5 gp) in one of your first missions. It was actually pretty funny, just because your journal said something like, "Here I go to battle a fierce enemy, if I don't come back tell my wife I love her," type of stuff.

Truth- that had me howling with laughter.

[Jibar]

Then you go do Fox's taunt on Melee.
Aye-aye-eye!
"Press the A button to fire."
"Hold it down to fire a homing shot."
"Don't you think it's a little late for instructions now?"

"Shut up Slippy."

[J_Muller]

Prepare to be SCARRED for life.

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=223

My eyes, they BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED! Why would you do that? If you don't remind us of it, it doesn't exist.

*shudder*

[PlatinumJester]

The entire opening of zero wing (all your base)
Metal Gear Solid - Snake, Snake, SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
NWN - Speak to dendy at the acdemy training room and his melee weapon trial crap.

[Jade_Tarem]

Player optional response in BGI, to the guard outside Baldur's Gate.

Guard: Halt! Declare yourself! Where do you come from?

Player Options:

1. Baldur's Gate.
2. Beregost.
3. Candlekeep.
4. Nashkel.
5. None of your business.
6. A sunny beach filled with naked dryads, where all of your wishes are granted by fat little balding bugbears, tee hee!

---------------------------

Not to mention Khalid's "panic" line:

"The better part of valor! The better part of valor!"

---------------------------

And from BGII, if you have Minsc and Keldorn in the party long enough, and Minsc gets injured pretty badly:

Minsc: "Whooo, I think I have lost a little too much blood, Boo! Tell the good knight to find a healer for me!"

Keldorn: "Hang on, Minsc! *aside* Torm, help me find aid for this righteous madman..."

Minsc: "Madman? Ha! Minsc doesn't get mad, Minsc gets eve- no, wait. Minsc gets mad."

---------------------------

Also from BGII, you can come upon a farmer and his wife moveing a veritable ton of chickens down the road. If you attack one of the chickens:

Woman: "Hey, what do you think you're doing? Get away from the chickens!"

Player Options (there's only one):

1. This is between us and the chickens, ma'am, and I'm going to ask real nicely that you stay out of it.

Woman: "Erlin, Erlin! Someone's after the chickens!"

Erlin: "Eh, leave off. They know what they're lookin' for and there ain't no room on this farm for secrets anyways."

There actually is a valuable gem hidden in the chickens.

[thorgrim29]

I like good ol' Sgt Johnson:
-Hey, hands off the lightbulb
-For a brick, he flew pretty good
-oh I know what the lady's like

Grunt speak in halo:
-I have a bad feeling about this
-You always have a bad feeling

Or gears of war:
-What, you dont think I'm right?
-I think you're Bat-**** crazy thats what I think
-Awwww, isn't that cute
-Yea, like two *******s on their first date.

[Shadow of the Sun]

Pretty much all of the games involving Guybrush Threepwood.

[Tengu]

Neverwinter Nights 2;

"I wish both of you would just shut up! The whole trip was nothing but one big whine from you!
'Oh, me stomach...this ship rocks like a baby's cradle' and
'This water is so unnatural and deep, not like the swamp full of dead people I grew up in'
" -Neeshka, sassing the dwarf fighter and elven druidess.
Ah, I remember that. If Neeshka had more lines like that I'd like her much more.

[Jade_Tarem]

I'm surprised that with all the grunt quotes no one has put this one down yet:

"You go that way, I'll go home!"

[Jacob_Gallagher]

From American McGee's Alice:
Alice: "So... when can I use it?"
Cheshire Cat: "Anytime you f***ing like, dear."

[ObadiahtheSlim]

I love Sgt Johnson.
Well, I don't care if it's God's own personal anti-son-of-a-bitch machine, or a giant hoola hoop, we're not gonna let 'em have it!

I would have been your daddy, but that dog beat me over the fence.

Go go go. The Corp aint paying us by the hour.

Now listen up! Back in my day, we didn't have fancy tanks! We had sticks. Two stick and a rock for the entire platoon! And we had to share the rock! You should consider yourself very lucky marines!

Marine: Dear Sarge, having a lovely time kicking ass in outer space - wish you were here!
Johnson: I heard that, Jackass!

Dear humanity, we regret being alien bastards, we regret coming to Earth, and we most definitely regret the Corps just blew up our raggedy-ass fleet!

[Glaivemaster]

I don't think this has been mentioned yet:

"You fight like a dairy farmer"
"What a coincidence. You fight like a cow!"

Also, whatever sarge says in Halo 2 when you first get the scorpion. It depends on the difficulty

[king korath]

Preists in Warcraft 3: I was chosen by the big metal hand in the sky. Side effects may include .... Magic is not for everyone, please see your doctor for details.

[Lilivati]

The whole conversation with the spectator beholder in BG2. I wish I could remember it well enough to quote it.

[averagejoe]

Also, whatever sarge says in Halo 2 when you first get the scorpion. It depends on the difficulty

"Usually the good Lord works in mysterious ways. But not today! This here is sixty six tons of straight up, H.E.-spewin', divine intervention! If God is love, then you can call me cupid."

[Shinfai]

a sgt Johnson quotes I love:

"I don't wanna kill ya, you're just too ugly to let live"
"Yeah if I had a face like a squid, i'd be anrgy too"
"Man, you make my mother in law look pretty"

And a marine:

"If i get shot, be sure toy give me lots of drugs"

Also form WCIII

the elven priestess / mage (can't remember very well, i ain't plaey in in ages) "for the end of the world spell, press Control alt delete"

The pit lord (more or elss anything he say but the best i can remember) : "you know what really burns my ass? A flame about this high"

From Crackdown, damn near anything the commentator says, some best inculde:

"remember agent skills for kills, Skills for Kills"
(wen you get to the top of the agency) "Hey i can see my house from here"
(if you get set on fire)"I love the smell of agent in the morning" and "mmm, char grilled agent"

that's more or less it, al least all i can think of for now ... its late :P

[Toastkart]

from Halo 1

(sometimes if you run over a covenant in the warthog)
Marine: that's one way to save ammo!

Cortana: This ring isn't a cudgel you barbarian.

Cortana: I leave home for a couple of days...

Cortana: Sod off! I have the index, you can just float and sputter!

I'll think of more later.

[blackout]

From Halo 2

Marine: Damn, I forgot the plan...Oh yeah, KILL THE ALIENS!

Same Marine: Have we tried reasoning with them?

Same Marine: Hey, don't look at me! I'm not the one who blew up their sacred ring!

From Halo 1

Grunt(when you die): Oooh! I get his helmet!

Grunt(also when you die): Take off armor! Get on knees! Then we see how tough you are!

[Destro_Yersul]

Halo!

Grunt: Evil bad demon.

The Sarge: You had the chance to wuss out before you joined my beloved corps.

[averagejoe]

Okay, just 'cuz it seems in style:

Halo

Cortana: Halo is a weapon, designed to wipe out all life in the galaxy!

Master Chief: [to Guilty Spark] Is this true?

343 Guilty Spark: ...More or less.

[Tekren]

From WoW (Human Male)
So, an orc walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
Bartender says, 'Hey, where'd you get THAT thing?'
Parrot says 'Durotar. They got 'em all over the place.'

From GTA3, SanAndreas
MC:Hey, we gonna rob some banks or... what is that?
Maria: This, you f'n bastard, is a rack. *click*
MC:WHa?
Maria:You never call, you never write, you just come and use me!
MC:Wait, it's not like that! Oh no, Put that down! Let's go kill some people, huh?
Maria:Who is she!?! *Whip crack*
MC:AHHHH!!!!
Maria:Who is she!?! *Whip crack*
MC: I Swear, there ain't no one else but you.
Maria:LIAR! You mean are all the same...(kinda forget exactly the details, but i DO remember)
(woman climaxing from righteous punishment she inflicts on another, sobs and all is still)
MC:Can we go rob banks now?

[Woot Spitum]

From Mechwarrior:Mercenaries-

Sargent Unther: How's it feel to be strapped to a walking nuke factory at 5 AM? I bet you wish you studied harder in school.

More Sargent Unther: We'll be killing people before breakfast. Soldiers mostly. Maybe some civilians.

And because there is no such thing as too many Sargent Unther quotes: I love killing people.

Of course, I sigged my favorite video game quote of all time.

[turtleant120]

From Halo 2:
"Hey that one went in!"- marine getting shot
Warhammer 40k:
"They call me stompy."- Killa Kan
Jade Empire:
"Rat Demon not bad. Rat Demon know where shiney is. Rat demon take you to shiney, and you no kill Rat Demon."- Rat Demon, old town ruins.
"I knew you were destined for great things. You would save an empire, and blow up a mountain, IN SPACE!"- Master Lee, end of credits.

And for something truly hilarious watch this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fRO0pQvu84
Its supposed to be a rather touching seen in the game but what Haseo says in the middle is just hilarious.:smallbiggrin:

[Destro_Yersul]

Also from DoW

The Dreadnought: I am ready to serve... again.

[J_Muller]

More Halo 2 Grunt quotes

(while running away): "The Demon is here! Run!"

C&C Generals--Chinese MiG during a cutscene:
*fires napalm missile at enemy building* "Delivery is free today only!"

And this one is more wince-worthy than funny, but...

C&C3, the GDI Juggernaut artillery unit: "I'm the Juggernaut!"

[blackout]

My personal favorite Halo 2 quote of all.

MC: *sees a grunt*Boo.
Grunt: *wails and runs*
MC: *grabs the needler the grunt had in his hands out of mid-air*

[Ranis]

Pretty much all of the games involving Guybrush Threepwood.

Seconded. I can't imagine how many of my youthful hours were wasted trying every item on every object in the game to beat it. Arrgh!

[Dr._Weird]

If it counts, this is from when I was playing Dwarf Fortress and fighting two harpies. Of course, the great thing is that all the combat sequences in this game are similar to this. :smallamused:

Really long stuff spoilered for your convienence.

You break the grip of the harpy's right wing on your first finger, right hand.

The harpy claws you in the lower body with her right talon!
It is broken!
You feel sick!

The harpy claws you in the lower body with her right talon!
The shot glances away.
You vomit.

The harpy claws you in the lower body with her right talon!
It is mangled!
You feel even more sick!
Your entrails shoot out through the wound!
Your stomach has been torn!

You give in to pain.

*After more of them attacking my unconscious body, and me waking up*

The harpy locks your right hip with the harpy's right wing!
You vomit.

The harpy claws you in the right lower arm with her left talon!
It is badly ripped!
You vomit.

The harpy cripples your right hip!

*Later still*

The harpy claws you in the left upper leg with her left talon!
It is broken!

*Another broken arm and vomit later, also I've passed out again*

The harpy claws you in the upper body with her right talon!
It is badly ripped!
Your left lung has been pierced!

*Two vomits and more injuries later*

You have bled to death.

Heh. They attack my stomach, and I counterattack with lots of vomiting and passing out.