[Spell] Ain't no one gettin' round HER!

[The Vorpal Tribble]

"Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise!"

Wall of Yo Momma!
Conjuration [Creation]
Level: Sor/Wiz 4
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: Ole woman whose area is up to one 5-ft. square/level; see text
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: Nuh UH!

You summon a moo-moo wearin' old woman and plunk her down whever she can fit. Yo momma cannot form in an area occupied by physical objects or creatures cuz she BIG! Any creature adjacent to yo momma when she is summoned may attempt a Reflex save to disrupt her as she comes into being.

Yo momma can move 20 feet per round, and has a reach of 5 feet. She can slap you silly, able to make 2 slam attacks at a base attack equal to your caster level. These attacks deal 2d6 points of damage each.

Yo momma is 5 inches thick per two caster levels. Each 10-foot square of lard has 1 hit point per inch of thickness. Creatures can hit yo momma automatically. A section of momma whose hit points drop to 0 is breached. If a creature tries to break through with a single attack, the DC for the Strength check is 15 + caster level.

Material Component: A twinkie.

[FreeRangeOyster]

I know we should expect it from you, VT, but that's... that's messed up. Please tell me you're not actually going to use this. Unless you're playing D20 Modern in the ghetto. Then it's gold man, solid gold.

[Demented]

The second sentence earned a smile.
Oh, and what does "Spell Resistance: Nuh UH!" mean? Is that the opposite of a "MmmHmm!"?

[roll0]

[J_Muller]

...This is one of the funniest things I've seen on this forum yet. Congratulations, you win.

[mikeejimbo]

Vorpal Tribble is a god.

I believe he grants the Insanity domain.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Oh, and what does "Spell Resistance: Nuh UH!" mean? Is that the opposite of a "MmmHmm!"?
*nods*

Uh huh.

[Realms of Chaos]

Don't forget the improved version where anyone trying to get through gets stuck in extradimensional folds of fat. :smallbiggrin:

OMG, the Vorpal Tribble is a disease. :smalleek:

Quick, shoot me now. :smallfrown:

[Fualkner Asiniti]

*Gives Realms a siringe.

We all carry around the cure, just in case.

Great job VT.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Don't forget the improved version where anyone trying to get through gets stuck in extradimensional folds of fat. :smallbiggrin:

OMG, the Vorpal Tribble is a disease. :smalleek:

Quick, shoot me now. :smallfrown:
Nope, too late now. It'll follow you to the grave!... as will the image of being stuck in yo momma's folds of fat.

*claws out his eyes*

[The Vorpal Tribble]

April fool's bump! :smallbiggrin:

[AugustNights]

Is anyone else inspired to create a whole domain of Yo Momma?

Minor Image of a Mother, ... is so Fat, ...is so Old,... is so Ugly, ...is so Stupid, ...is so Nasty, ... is so much of a Slut , ... Improved so Fat , Automatic Response (Your Mom!)

What domain ability? 1/day as an immediate action you may interrupt a Diplomacy check being made by any target, by shouting out the two simple words " Your Momma!" at the choice moment. This incurs an incompetence penalty to the target's current diplomacy check equal to your caster level+5. For the next 24 hours the target takes a -5 incompetence penalty to Diplomacy checks.

[SurlySeraph]

You managed to make me laugh, and I have a cold and just got waitlisted by my favortie college. My hat is off to you, good Sir Tribble.

[Collin152]

Is this a summoning, calling, or creation effect?