Shouldn't V have a staff?

[Professor Tanhauser]

All the other characters seem to have the stereotypical gear for their class. (Sword, hammer, bow, lute, etc) So shouldn't Vaarsavius have a staff since staffs are stereotypical wizard gear?

Actually the one reason I'd like to see V with a staff is so s/he could run out of spells, have a baddie bearing down, stop to gloat that without spells a wizard is helpless, then say "With respect, sir, I disagree."

Then bring the staff up sharply, right under ye olde codpiece, if you get my meaning and I think you do.

BTW, does D&D have rules for a strike to the family jewels? Of course not, what am I thinking......

But the thought of rick drawing the facial expression of someone who just took a kick below the belt is hilarious..... (maybe he could even have the eyeballs coming out on little coils or something.)

[jindra34]

add a poll! and yes if only to look more sagey...

[Gaelbert]

Although I think this is covered in another thread, I agree, yes, V deserves a staff.

[SteveMB]

Shouldn't V have a staff?

:vaarsuvius: Why, certainly! It is clearly beneath the dignity of a superior intellect to attend to mind-numbing routine clerical matters....

Oh, you meant a wooden stick used to assist in locomotion or to engage in crude physical violence? Never mind then....

[Dairun Cates]

S/he has one. It comes up in the board game. It's called the "Little used quarterstaff".

[factotum]

S/he has one. It comes up in the board game. It's called the "Little used quarterstaff".

It should be called the NEVER used quarterstaff, because V has never even attempted to draw a weapon, even in situations (facing Zz'dtri, facing the Death Knight) where his magic had clearly failed him and physical attack was the only option remaining. OK, in the case of the Death Knight he would probably know he couldn't possibly penetrate its Damage Resistance using a big stick, but Zz'dtri is a different matter.

[Setra]

Why does V need a staff?

I mean.. he's never needed one before, so why now?

[Demented]

Considering V had a much more successful way of dealing with ZZ'dtri, the only time V needed would have used a quarterstaff would be to beat down some treants. Ironically.

[IronMouse]

S/he has one. It comes up in the board game. It's called the "Little used quarterstaff".


So V’s staff is sort of like V’s framilar…it pops into existence when called upone and is pretty much usless to V.

:vaarsuvius: “Curse you, unreliable wooden implement”

[Holy_Knight]

S/he has one. It comes up in the board game. It's called the "Little used quarterstaff".


It should be called the NEVER used quarterstaff, because V has never even attempted to draw a weapon, even in situations (facing Zz'dtri, facing the Death Knight) where his magic had clearly failed him and physical attack was the only option remaining. OK, in the case of the Death Knight he would probably know he couldn't possibly penetrate its Damage Resistance using a big stick, but Zz'dtri is a different matter.

Actually, it's called the "Seldom used quarterstaff". And on the card for it, V says that it's never appeared in the comic.

[cheese534]

she(he?) does, it just never uses it.

[phlip]

BTW, does D&D have rules for a strike to the family jewels? Of course not, what am I thinking......
From another, much older, thread:

It's very hard to describe the effect to someone of the opposite sex, so I'll try to put it in easier terms by quoting the ever-useful Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge:


The rack can either be a called shot to the groin, part of a normal critical hit chart, or (to get more use of it) if the attacker rolls five higher than the necessary to hit roll (modified or natural), it is now considered to be a rack.

The rack chart is as follows:

0-70 Man drops weapon, clutches privates, and loses next 1d4 rounds of
initiative.
71-80 Man is blinded by tears and cannot defend or attack for the next 1d6
rounds.
81-90 Man is stunned for one round and then goes into a berserker rage for 1d10
rounds. Rules for berserk rage applies.
91-95 Man's voice is permanently altered to 1d4 octaves higher, dropping his
charisma by 1d4. Also stunned for 1d4 rounds.
96-98 Man is permanently rendered impotent. Stunned for 1d6 rounds.
99 Man loses consciousness for 1d10 rounds. (System shock roll can be made
at -50%, if successful, man is only unconscious for 1d4 rounds.)
00 Man goes into shock, no save, and dies. All men within a viewing distance
must make a constitution save at -5 or they clutch themselves and remain
stunned for 1 round.

[NeonRonin]

The previous post has to be one of the most intricate called shot charts I have seen related to a SINGLE body part. About the only thing I could compare it with would probably be the HackMaster critical hit tables, but those still cover the entire body in general, not the groin in particular.

On the subject of the thread title... while I doubt V will be using a quarterstaff anytime soon, it would be most satisfying(and highly humorous) to see him/her make a called shot to the codpiece, bulging eye result and all.

[Vulion]

My GOD that is a funny chart. I especially like the last part, instant death and all other men have to make a fortitude save.:smallbiggrin:

[chibibar]

Oh yea, I'm sure V would be more than happy to use a staff (not!) I mean I can so hear V saying that the vast intellect and the ability to alter the physical reality should use a mundane piece of wood and beat someone mercilessly.

[RobbyPants]

Sure! Let's give him/her a staff! Does V even carry a weapon? I don't even remember seeing so much as a dagger, or even a dart!

[jindra34]

Sure! Let's give him/her a staff! Does V even carry a weapon? I don't even remember seeing so much as a dagger, or even a dart!

Or even a needle... is a needle even a weapon?

[Green Bean]

My GOD that is a funny chart. I especially like the last part, instant death and all other men have to make a fortitude save.:smallbiggrin:

Ask someone you know with medical experience exactly what can happen with a shot to the groin, and the fort save becomes totally understandable. :smallbiggrin:

[Avatar God]

Although Muhammed Ali could take a full power shot to the groin without blinking... Weighted dice, if you ask me.

Seriously, the staff would be kinda cool.

[slayerx]

I dont see much point in V having a staff... i mean, generally they are weak weapons being weilded by someone who has no bonus to attack rolls or damage... really, if a situation gets so bad that V needs to use melee, then he's probably dead anyway, with or without the staff... Seriosuly, a staff wouldn't have really stood against Duel Scimitars of ZZ, those trents or the Death Knight; they would have all killed V regardless... A staff is good for low level wizards because at low levels, mosters have much lower AC and the staff does ok damage, but the weapon tends to to fall seriously behind in later levels due to the fact that while the staff might have some kind of + bonus to it, the weilder does not gain such bonuses (most other characters improve with melee as their weapons imporve)...

Really, at V's level, using a staff in melee would be pointless; he's got a better chance of just running away... What V could use however, is either a wand that have a certain number of charges of a spell, or a staff that can cast several times per day... after V expends his spells for the day he can fall upon those items to deal some more damage... but those items aren't exactly common...


Actually the one reason I'd like to see V with a staff is so s/he could run out of spells, have a baddie bearing down, stop to gloat that without spells a wizard is helpless, then say "With respect, sir, I disagree."
Bah, We already have Roy as the character who goes out his way to break the sterotypes that plague his class...

[jindra34]

I dont see much point in V having a staff... i mean, generally they are weak weapons being weilded by someone who has no bonus to attack rolls or damage... really, if a situation gets so bad that V needs to use melee, then he's probably dead anyway, with or without the staff... Seriosuly, a staff wouldn't have really stood against Duel Scimitars of ZZ, those trents or the Death Knight; they would have all killed V regardless... A staff is good for low level wizards because at low levels, mosters have much lower AC and the staff does ok damage, but the weapon tends to to fall seriously behind in later levels due to the fact that while the staff might have some kind of + bonus to it, the weilder does not gain such bonuses (most other characters improve with melee as their weapons imporve)...
Really, at V's level, using a staff in melee would be pointless; he's got a better chance of just running away... What V could use however, is either a wand that have a certain number of charges of a spell, or a staff that can cast several times per day... after V expends his spells for the day he can fall upon those items to deal some more damage... but those items aren't exactly common...
Bah, We already have Roy as the character who goes out his way to break the sterotypes that plague his class...
What about a spell staff type thing... you know the ones that enable you to cast spells from charges...

[BisectedBrioche]

What about a spell staff type thing... you know the ones that enable you to cast spells from charges...

Thats what I was thinking of when I entered this topic.

[EYanyo]

I've never foud a staff to be necessary to the wizarding/sorcerering process. Every time I play an arcane magic-user, I take some sort of cool weapon. For example, the last sorcerer I played had two-weapon fighting and ambidexterity (for some reason, I forget why), so I got him two sickles. I always find pointy, bladed weaponry more fun to play with.

[slayerx]

What about a spell staff type thing... you know the ones that enable you to cast spells from charges...

Well yes, i did make that exception in my post...
The thing is, most poeple in this thread have only highlighted the physical melee use of a staff, not the possible magical use... i mean, when you say V should have a staff, it does not automatically imply a magical one seeing as staffs by their nature in DnD are not magical and do not add to magical power (unlike what they do in other RPG-like games)... by their nature, a staff is nothing but a walking stick/melee weapon, of which is rather useless to V... but ofcourse, magical staffs are harder to come by and are far less common; if you wanna talk about magical staves and not normal ones poeple got to say so

for a wizard...
normal staff = useless at higher levels
magical staff = useful

[gooddragon1]

See, when he said the seldom used staff I was thinking of something totally different. Like a staff... that happens to be wooden... me and my sick mind I guess. If you still can't guess...

http://www.superdickery.com/images/seduction/woodenboner5ye.jpg
What, you thought I'd actually post something that would get me banned?

[taraxia]

All the other characters seem to have the stereotypical gear for their class. (Sword, hammer, bow, lute, etc) So shouldn't Vaarsavius have a staff since staffs are stereotypical wizard gear?

Actually the one reason I'd like to see V with a staff is so s/he could run out of spells, have a baddie bearing down, stop to gloat that without spells a wizard is helpless, then say "With respect, sir, I disagree."

Then bring the staff up sharply, right under ye olde codpiece, if you get my meaning and I think you do.

BTW, does D&D have rules for a strike to the family jewels? Of course not, what am I thinking......

Critical hit, or possibly Sneak Attack.

In any case, from a game perspective, V would probably miss if this came up, since s/he has the crappiest attack bonus in the game.

Staffs aren't actually stereotypical gear for spellcasters, at least not mid-level ones -- the standard DMG staffs that are actually good are also really expensive for mid-level characters.

[taraxia]

I've never foud a staff to be necessary to the wizarding/sorcerering process. Every time I play an arcane magic-user, I take some sort of cool weapon. For example, the last sorcerer I played had two-weapon fighting and ambidexterity (for some reason, I forget why), so I got him two sickles. I always find pointy, bladed weaponry more fun to play with.

Was it fun not having any metamagic feats? In exchange for the ability to miss a lot?

[Ogenki]

I imagine like the familiar, her trusty staff's been by her side this whole time.

[Meshakhad]

Just to point out, V is in fact proficient with a longsword (being an elf), so she might have a sword tucked away somewhere.

[the_tick_rules]

i dunno, maybe with V's low search check she doesn't wanna have to find her spellbook and weapon in morning lol.

[gadren]

I've been playing a wizard in my current game and have not used a weapon once from levels 3-12 thus far.
Of course, if I was facing the death knight, I would have cast Orb of Force.
But I guess the Giant doesn't allow uber cheese spells in his world :smallamused:

If V gets a staff, it should be a Runestaff of Power. Yummy, and very potent for its price.

[Aegeus]

OOTS is core only (except for a few homebrew spells and a very few splatbook spells), so no Orb of Force for you. Oh, and by the way, the only broken part of the Orb spells is that they're conjuration, not evocation.