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View Full Version : Do you ever roleplay a different sexual orientation?



Jeivar
2015-07-19, 08:49 AM
(I'm a straight guy)

The other day I decided to just roll a dice for my half-elf lady paladin's sexuality as soon as it became relevant (she was being hit on), and she came out gay. I'm not expecting there to be a lot of in-depth roleplaying or romance in the campaign, but character details are always nice and it occurs to me that in a medieval setting it might explain why a noblewoman knight is travelling on foot, with no retinue and very little money.

How about you guys? I don't really have a point to make here, I'm just curious.

Arutema
2015-07-19, 09:26 AM
Let's see, I've played almost every combo except gay and bi male at this point, if only because I tend to default to female.

The intersexed, genderfluid tiefling had potential to get very interesting or strange, but died in hir first session.

That said, it almost never comes up in the campaigns I play in.

And that's not counting the variety of NPCs I've done as a GM.

Jormengand
2015-07-19, 09:28 AM
Yes. Most of the time, given that it would be exceedingly odd if every character I played was bi/pan.

LibraryOgre
2015-07-19, 09:37 AM
No, but I (straight male) did wind up playing a straight woman once. Wound up in a romance with another PC, in fact, also played by a straight guy.

Anonymouswizard
2015-07-19, 09:40 AM
Being a bi male (note: must remind media that we exist) I have a tendency to play characters as straight or asexual. I've played one gay character, where the GM didn't make any use of it and complained nobody gave him any backstory (he didn't ask). I also played a bisexual character where it actually came up, suffice to say that the character was quickly removed from the rooms containing the incubus and succubus. That group had at least one other bi/pan player as well, and the GM had to explain exactly why the world had a negative enough view of being gay for it to count as a flaw (I took it as bi, which another player noted gave me nothing above being gay).

EDIT: Oh, my character in the Mechwarrior game I'm about to start is female, and currently going to be either pan, gay, or demisexual, it's a bit up in the air at the moment.

Mastikator
2015-07-19, 09:52 AM
I've never defined their sexual orientation, since it never seemed relevant to either the dm-plot, the pc-interaction or the npc-interaction. Though one character was married with kids, so he was for all intents and purpose straight. So technically he's different from me since I'm bi, though that's a bit.. eh
Every other character I just treat as asexual since I'm just not comfortable having sex as an element in tabletops.

JAL_1138
2015-07-19, 09:59 AM
My current charlatan-background character is completely indiscriminate with regard to gender and not terribly picky about which (sapient) species either, although granted he's usually trying to flatter his way into getting political/legal/social/economic favors out of people rather than pursue any, ehem, relations, so I haven't completely settled if he's actually pansexual or just very, very pragmatic about his scam-artistry. Likely both.

Winter_Wolf
2015-07-19, 10:04 AM
Mostly my characters are pretty asexual simply because while I can't slay dragons or cast spells in real life, I have a romantic partner that is highly compatible so I don't really need to delve into that when I want to be not-me in an RPG. Frankly I think that most media and fiction is so oversexualized that I'm kind of starved to get away from it from time to time; I know sex sells, but damn sometimes it's nice to just take a break from it completely. If I bother to think about character sexuality at all, it defaults to mine; i.e. hetero/cis male. But mostly I don't think about it, because I kind of miss my innocence and being friends was never interpreted as being "just friends" and "getting lucky" never had anything to do with getting into anyone's pants.

Anonymouswizard
2015-07-19, 10:06 AM
My current charlatan-background character is completely indiscriminate with regard to gender and not terribly picky about which (sapient) species either, although granted he's usually trying to flatter his way into getting political/legal/social/economic favors out of people rather than pursue any, ehem, relations, so I haven't completely settled if he's actually pansexual or just very, very pragmatic about his scam-artistry. Likely both.

At what point does it stop being pan and start being omnisexual? :smalltongue:

Malimar
2015-07-19, 10:36 AM
All the time. In fact, I don't know that I've ever roleplayed a character with the same sexual orientation as myself, if for no other reason than because my orientation is on a pretty subtle point on a couple of continua, and games don't lend themselves well to that sort of subtlety. Even "my character is heteroflexible gray-ace" (which is close enough for many purposes, but still not exactly me) would require explanation but wouldn't actually add much of anything to the game. Picking from the list of "straight", "gay", "bi", and "asexual", any of which people understand without much explaining, is much easier.

Anonymouswizard
2015-07-19, 10:44 AM
I once recommended rolling for your Kinsey number to my players. Straight 1d6, no bonuses.

Strangely nobody was either interested in it, or able to work out that the world had no straight people in it (every NPC was going to have their score calculated the exact same way). :smallbiggrin:

Nizaris
2015-07-19, 10:44 AM
At what point does it stop being pan and start being omnisexual? :smalltongue:

When you're willing to bed anything regardless of sex, gender, species, or home plane of existence and thinking that trying to use a orientation term as "quaint." I hear being from the 51st century helps.

Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll
2015-07-19, 10:45 AM
Back when I was a kid, I wasn't aware enough of the sexual continuum to make characters on it. I knew people were straight or gay, I didn't know about bisexuality or genderfluidity, and it didn't even occur to me to make my characters anything but hetero.

By the time I was aware of the sexual and gender continuums, I wasn't really playing actively anymore. Now I'm DMing a game with pre-made characters, and one of the characters is a lesbian Halfling exiled from her caravan for sleeping with the Chief's daughter, though. The other character I didn't note their sexuality, but I'd hazard a guess that she's asexual.

Yora
2015-07-19, 10:56 AM
Yes. Most of the time, given that it would be exceedingly odd if every character I played was bi/pan.

Yeah... But then, why arbitrarily restrict myself during character creation? In most games it won't come up anyway, so I just leave it open until a situation comes up where it would matter.

Malimar
2015-07-19, 11:12 AM
I once recommended rolling for your Kinsey number to my players. Straight 1d6, no bonuses.

Strangely nobody was either interested in it, or able to work out that the world had no straight people in it (every NPC was going to have their score calculated the exact same way). :smallbiggrin:

Not a bad idea, and leaving out 0 is amusing. Still, I'd roll 1d8-1 -- the seven levels of the scale, plus asexual.

Frozen_Feet
2015-07-19, 11:36 AM
A lot of my characters are asexual both in the physical and social senses of the word, though I'm not. Of other variations, I can remember playing a bisexual woman, a bisexual man and one unknown case. I'm iffy if I've ever made an exclusively homosexual character.

Keltest
2015-07-19, 11:38 AM
I generally don't define their sexual orientation. Besides primarily playing with a group of college-age boys, the setting and adventure generally don't leave much time for those kinds of actions.

JAL_1138
2015-07-19, 11:40 AM
At what point does it stop being pan and start being omnisexual? :smalltongue:


When you're willing to bed anything regardless of sex, gender, species, or home plane of existence and thinking that trying to use a orientation term as "quaint." I hear being from the 51st century helps.

My charlatan's not quite Captain Jack. He does have some limits on species (while not especially picky on non-evil, sapient, naturally-occurring bipedal humanoids, generally must be capable of turning into one or be humanoid from the waist up at minimum, and also not be any variety of undead, construct, illithid, slaad, baatezu, tanar'ri, yugoloth, eldritch horror, non-Good dragon, and for the love of all that's holy NO KENDER).

The roleplay only ever gets as far as flattery and flirting; if and/or when any wink-wink-nudge-nudge-say-no-more were to take place it'd be with a fade-to-black.

golentan
2015-07-19, 12:02 PM
I have a chart! The chart has expanded a lot over the years!

I'm currently playing an Ace homoromantic shaman in shadowrun. I have, in the past, played characters spanning pretty much every possible combination of gender and sexuality, except not because I have no real conception of the depths of human sexuality, so... Every possible combination I'm able to imagine, and I stay away from stuff which makes me uncomfortable on ethical grounds. :smallbiggrin:

Zalphon
2015-07-19, 01:11 PM
I've played everything but homosexual males, the closest I've ever done to that was a bisexual, transgender bard.

Talakeal
2015-07-19, 01:26 PM
I have played females who were straight, gay, asexual, and bisexual and straight males. I don't recall ever playing a gay or bi male except when I was DMing and portraying an NPC.

I also played a mage who specialized in shape changing and for whose own gender and those of her lovers fluctuated from male, to female, to something in between depending on her mood.

Coidzor
2015-07-19, 01:51 PM
I've done one attempt at an agender or genderqueer person and have had several asexual characters.

Saladman
2015-07-19, 01:58 PM
I haven't myself. I really haven't seen it done well. The type I've seen most often, male gamers playing sexy lesbians, isn't adding anything to the game, it's just them getting their rocks off at the table's expense and daring anyone to call them on it.

I'm not absolutely opposed to it, and it may actually come up running L5R. Between your duty to produce an heir, arranged marriages and the ideal of courtly romance, there's actually a lot of room in the setting for fluidity so long as characters are discrete.

Anonymouswizard
2015-07-19, 02:05 PM
I haven't myself. I really haven't seen it done well. The type I've seen most often, male gamers playing sexy lesbians, isn't adding anything to the game, it's just them getting their rocks off at the table's expense and daring anyone to call them on it.

I'm not absolutely opposed to it, and it may actually come up running L5R. Between your duty to produce an heir, arranged marriages and the ideal of courtly romance, there's actually a lot of room in the setting for fluidity so long as characters are discrete.

I really want L5R, but can never find a copy of the rulebook. I like the idea of arranged marriages and other such elements actually having an impact on adventures, and how different clans might react to groups of mixed genders.

I also love the idea of a compatible shugenja and yojimbo pair. :smallbiggrin:

I've also seen bi/pan people default to straight for their characters, and never seen a male player play a lesbian (with or without stripperninja*), in fact the idea of them being hot is confusing to me. I think I might might my current character a demisexual demiromantic though.

* The people I know most likely to go for stripperninja characters (although it's still a slim chance, they like elements but not the whole thing) are women. One actually played a telekinetic stripper.

valadil
2015-07-19, 02:34 PM
Nope. My characters are almost always asexual. I can only think of a couple times romance came up in a game in a way that was a positive for me. I'd rather just avoid it.

D+1
2015-07-19, 03:08 PM
How about you guys? I don't really have a point to make here, I'm just curious.
Interesting choice of words. :)

I play plenty of PC's of the opposite sex, but sexual orientation just has never been an area that's been addressed in games I've been in or run. Never seemed appropriate and I most certainly do not care to get into the level of roleplaying that would genuinely make that factor important. I don't care to play up ANY sexual matters in any detail. Romance has barely even been done, if ever.

This was a principle that was established VERY early for me. There was a certain player at one of our earliest games who just got it wrongly into his head that D&D was an avenue for him to vicariously play out sexual fantasies when his PC bought himself a whore. The DM deflected for a while but the player kept persisting in fishing for graphic details until the DM just had enough. The player was told, loudly, that this just wouldn't be something the game would feature, saying something along the lines of, "You want DETAILS? You take her upstairs. You moan, you groan, you ___. END of description. What are the other PC's doing?"

I've held that response in reserve as a DM but have never had to use it. Now, it's true that in a campaign not much further down the line (when that player was long gone) that we ran an "Evils" campaign for a while which naturally had a few female drow PC's. Given their societal arrangements as a race it was assumed by us as over-eager teen males that they were enthusiastically homosexual or bisexual but even then it just wasn't pursued beyond that acknowledgement. Aside from the fact that we dished out the usual innuendo and outrageously politically incorrect jokes that I'm sure are STILL common among teenage males despite enthusiastic attempts at contrary indoctrination, that's all there is to say about that.

If I ever have an openly gay player (to my knowledge no player I've ever gamed with has ever been other than heterosexual - not that I care), I would not be opposed to allowing that players PC's to be gay and would try to be as superficially accommodating of that orientation in the game world as I would with any heterosexual PC. But the matter of any PC's sexual orientation will never be given any importance in my game world. My own games will simply never "go there" by my direction and I'll strenuously quash any attempts by players to lead it there. It's flat-out inappropriate. I'd instantly begin to seriously consider departing any game that did "go there." It's not appropriate or comfortable RP even among friends, and it most CERTAINLY isn't among people you don't really know that well, such as players new to your game or that might be participating in play at a game store or the like.

I don't oppose the idea of non-heterosexual characters in any way. I fanatically oppose making that distinction relevant on any but the most superficial level possible.

Honest Tiefling
2015-07-19, 03:10 PM
Yes, and I make a point to. I always give my characters at least one trait that differs from myself and sometimes I get really lazy and pick a gender/sexuality combo when I don't have a personality or backstory ready.

I am also really lazy with NPCs, so I just give them a type and I try to vary it up, perhaps in a desperate attempt to hide my laziness. Eh, the lord is now attracted to plump shy ladies, screw it. The mage is now attracted to older men. The guardswoman has a thing for redheaded women.

Jeivar
2015-07-19, 03:31 PM
(with or without stripperninja*)


Is this some internet meme I have missed out on?

Anonymouswizard
2015-07-19, 03:36 PM
Is this some internet meme I have missed out on?

Lesbian stripperninja (http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/RPG_Lexica:JKL#L)

Sith_Happens
2015-07-19, 03:39 PM
All of my characters have been straight so far and probably will be for the foreseeable future, though I just started playing my first female character so there's that.

...Actually, I suppose you could make an argument for my current Warblade being effectively asexual (though mildly heteroromantic), though it'd be more accurate to say that he's comically sex-phobic.


The people I know most likely to go for stripperninja characters (although it's still a slim chance, they like elements but not the whole thing) are women.

Same.

Nexahs
2015-07-19, 03:40 PM
Bi male here. Most of my characters are hetero in theory and asexual in practice, but as others have said, sexuality doesn't play a big role in most of our games. I think the most overt thing I've done is announce that my character intended to visit a brothel, but it all happened "off screen."

ellindsey
2015-07-19, 06:39 PM
In a high point level Star Hero campaign I played a character who was deliberately based on Captain Jack, sleeping with anything and having some ridiculously high level social skills too. That was fun, though it was with a group who was mature enough to handle it and in a decidedly humorous campaign.

I also played a polysexual shapeshifting alien hermaphrodite for years in a recent superhero campaign. Ironically, he ended up in a long-term monogamous relationship with another party member, who was female but played by a straight guy.

And I've also played regular old straight male characters too. It varies by the character, and by the setting and how mature I can trust the group I'm playing with to be.

goto124
2015-07-19, 08:39 PM
Yeah... But then, why arbitrarily restrict myself during character creation? In most games it won't come up anyway, so I just leave it open until a situation comes up where it would matter.

I've played only a few characters so far (look at my sig). Their sexuality is pretty much left blank until it comes up. It's more like 'bisexual' because it gives me the freedom to let my PC hit on whoever she wants to hit on.

I'm still not sure which gender I 'default' to. My characters have so far have some reason to be their gender. Listing:

- Laru, who is male since I wanted to represent his old-fashioned Knight in Shining Armor thinking, complete with well-meaning misgyny,

- Axanot, who's female because there's a big difference between 'male sexually free barbarian' and 'female sexually free barbarian',

- KC, who's male because he's very effeminate and a feminist, also he's based off an established male character,

- Lennie and Sybil, who're female only because they're based off pre-existing female characters.

Both Lennie and Sybil are 'hetero in theory and asexual in practice'. Sybil was backstabbed by her crush, while Lennie is reasons and stuff. In both cases, I'm just not interested for them to be associated with anything sexual.

KC is interesting however. He started off as a (supposedly) straight man who just happens to be very effeminate. So much that I gave him a girly name and used female pronouns (she, her, etc). It's not like his sexuality would be of any concern anyway...

... until a straight male PC hit on KC. Even after finding out about KC's maleness.

So now I'm playing with the 'straight man realises he's attracted to other men' idea. I've since rewrote KC's sexuality as 'bisexual, but believed himself straight and passed off any attraction to males as 'bicurious' and 'nothing serious'.'

Zale
2015-07-19, 08:49 PM
Basically always. I mean, most of the time it's easier and less awkward just to make my character straight.

JAL_1138
2015-07-19, 09:00 PM
Basically always. I mean, most of the time it's easier and less awkward just to make my character straight.

That's...really unfortunate. *Internet hugs* I hope you can find a group where it's easy and not awkward to play someone of your own orientation.

Amphetryon
2015-07-19, 09:22 PM
Yes. I've played straight males, straight females, bisexual males, bisexual females, and gay males.

mephnick
2015-07-19, 10:13 PM
I can't see it ever having a bearing on any game I run or play in, so no. I guess they default to straight, but it never comes up honestly. I generally only play heroic fantasy type stuff, like D&D, and I don't do it to pretend to get laid.

Rhaegar14
2015-07-19, 10:34 PM
I've been trying to expand my portfolio and experiment with characters of different genders and sexualities recently. I default too readily to straight male.

I had a Druid that I made omnisexual at first as a running gag, but then ran with it and made it a pretty serious piece of his character. He ended up involved in a sort-of relationship with a male satyr Bard before a Demon Lord got tired of his meddling and had him killed (the rest of the party was stupid enough to leave me alone, unconscious, and defenseless with the character in the party who we ALREADY KNEW was bound to the Demon Lord in question).

Still, I GENERALLY default to straight if it comes up, but it usually doesn't. I primarily play with two groups; one is the group of guys I've been playing with since I was 15, the other is a group I joined more recently that is female-dominated. The latter group likes to play around with gender, orientation, and romance in their characters and their stories a lot, though of course anything graphic just fades to black. Even then, I only really like to see romantic stories between PCs; anything with an NPC just feels very forced.

There's also Jessa, a character of mine who is fifteen, and is effectively asexual because the idea of portraying sexual behavior as a fifteen year old makes me very uncomfortable.

EDIT: This thread actually just gave me the idea to make my next character, a Halfling Ranger, transgender and tell absolutely none of the other players.

MrStabby
2015-07-20, 11:21 AM
This has got me thinking a lot. In both the games I play and those I DM sex does not really come up a lot. This isn't really a conscious thing. I also find it a little odd as, to be pretty blunt, sex and romance are pretty important in every society and pervades pretty much all of life. Other than one storyline involving someone being killed over an affair it hasn't really come up. Yes it has been part of character backstories but it has not had much impact in game.

The only character I could say was clearly different to my own orientation in an actual in-game-choices kind of way was a Myconid character I played.

Geddy2112
2015-07-20, 11:32 AM
Although it rarely comes up, I have played bisexual males, transgendered homosexual males, bisexual females, asexual males and females, heterosexual males and females, maybe some others I cannot think of. Occasionally players in my group play a non cis hetero/asexual character, but it really does not come up very often. To second several posters before me, the games my group play in are more of a heroic/epic fantasy plot of great adventure, and flirting with characters and sex is really not of any major concern.

Anonymouswizard
2015-07-20, 11:47 AM
As people have said, actual sex coming up is relatively uncommon (except for certain groups and systems, don't play Maid RPG* with an immature group), but in one campaign I was in the idea of attraction came up (once when my character was accidentally established as heterosexual due to 'the Chinese curse' [can't remember the actual name of the Unknown Armies spell] causing him to mutter that at least he doesn't have a girlfriend to be cheated on by, and again when our party shrink basically started going out with one of the homeless people she adopted).

* Can Ork maids do it?

Delusion
2015-07-20, 12:10 PM
I mostly play bisexual women for some reason. Though I recently did play a straight woman.

Interestingly, even though I am lesbian IRL I do not remember any actual Lesbian characters I have played. I have no idea why.

LibraryOgre
2015-07-20, 12:59 PM
I mostly play bisexual women for some reason. Though I recently did play a straight woman.

Interestingly, even though I am lesbian IRL I do not remember any actual Lesbian characters I have played. I have no idea why.

You get to be a lesbian every day! I mean, if you're gonna play a fantasy game, why not do something weird, like a bi woman? :smallbiggrin:

Cealocanth
2015-07-20, 01:39 PM
Being asexual male, I play different orientations all of the time... technically. Most of my characters, NPC or otherwise, tend to run either hetero male or female simply because that's what most fits with the setting. Only in the most recent game have we played a setting where being anything other than heterosexual wouldn't get you burned at the stake and called a sinner (We have played medieval fantasy, renaissance fantasy, old west, steampunk Victorian, and most recently modern-day superhero), so this has been the norm. I like to immerse with the campaign world, so I make characters that integrate well into them. In practice it really doesn't matter. We usually have kids playing with or near us, so we tend to avoid the kind of situation which would bring out a character's sexuality.

FabulousFizban
2015-07-20, 02:10 PM
that would be difficult, as I am bisexual. I guess I could roleplay someone attracted to trees or something...

I guess that is really the question though isn't it: have you roleplayed being attracted to something you are not in real life? so... no, i guess not.

time to make a different kind of tree hugger!

Draconium
2015-07-20, 02:23 PM
In most TTRPGS I've played, this doesn't come up a lot. In fact, the only time I remember it coming up was in a one-shot I DM'd for, when of of the characters tried to seduce a woman they met... who turned out to be a succubus and killed him via level drain. Go figure. (What's bad is, I actually did determine randomly that is was one...)

Most, if not all, of my TTRPG characters are male, and I assume they would just default to straight or asexual.

However, I have also RPed in other forums before, and I've dabbled a bit more there. The characters I've RPed in those forums have had the following orientations (Note: I am a straight male IRL):

Heterosexual
Latently Bisexual, believes they're Heterosexual
Secretly Homosexual
Openly Homosexual
Asexual (Actually just too young for me to consider it)
Openly Bisexual

Their gender also varies - two are male, the rest are female. I consider it a challenge to expend my horizons, and play characters outside my own orientation. And it greates some interesting relationships among my characters. (Ex: The Secretly Gay character is a gender-inversed clond of the Straight character, and is attracted to the Latenly Bi character, who has a crush on said Straight character. Talk about a love triangle.)

Perhaps, if it ends up coming up in future TTRPGS I play, I may have to make a character of a different orientation there as well...

golentan
2015-07-20, 02:43 PM
I always wondered that it doesn't come up a lot in tabletop games. I mean, people have commented that exact phrase what, a dozen times in this thread?

I play exalted. Lunars are bonded to solars in a spiritual way that often comes out as romantic feeling. Dragonbloods are expected to produce a couple of kids in an arranged marriage for the good of the family and species regardless of whether they have to use a turkey baster and a surrogate lover to get it done. Quite often players will apply as a "couple" to games, never mind they're not a couple in real life. And yes, there are some magic powers related to sex.

In Traveller, often relationships are important as well. Much like the Dragonblooded above, the Imperial Nobility of the far future quite often have expectations of their children. And one player of mine won a dozen Aslan Brides in an honorable duel with their husband, challenged because she had actually fallen in love with one of them (despite how it sounds, aslan culture is matriarchal except when it comes to mating and fighting).

Even in DnD, when a nymph or succubus shows up? And I like to encourage romantic relationships in player backstories: It's a wonderful plot hook. What's more wrenching for a paladin: abandoning their crusade or abandoning their lover the hostage? Lest this turn into a "Paladin Falls, Jerk DM dies," thread I don't make them fall for serious moral quandaries that could go either way, but... it's a good plot hook, and it's not a paladin specific thing. Being emotionally tied to the world beyond "I want more money for a nifty magic sword!" isn't a bad thing for adventurers.

Anonymouswizard
2015-07-20, 03:03 PM
I always wondered that it doesn't come up a lot in tabletop games. I mean, people have commented that exact phrase what, a dozen times in this thread?

I play exalted. Lunars are bonded to solars in a spiritual way that often comes out as romantic feeling. Dragonbloods are expected to produce a couple of kids in an arranged marriage for the good of the family and species regardless of whether they have to use a turkey baster and a surrogate lover to get it done. Quite often players will apply as a "couple" to games, never mind they're not a couple in real life. And yes, there are some magic powers related to sex.

In Traveller, often relationships are important as well. Much like the Dragonblooded above, the Imperial Nobility of the far future quite often have expectations of their children. And one player of mine won a dozen Aslan Brides in an honorable duel with their husband, challenged because she had actually fallen in love with one of them (despite how it sounds, aslan culture is matriarchal except when it comes to mating and fighting).

Even in DnD, when a nymph or succubus shows up? And I like to encourage romantic relationships in player backstories: It's a wonderful plot hook. What's more wrenching for a paladin: abandoning their crusade or abandoning their lover the hostage? Lest this turn into a "Paladin Falls, Jerk DM dies," thread I don't make them fall for serious moral quandaries that could go either way, but... it's a good plot hook, and it's not a paladin specific thing. Being emotionally tied to the world beyond "I want more money for a nifty magic sword!" isn't a bad thing for adventurers.

It's something I want to come up more in games (not sex but, relationships both official and scandalous), but players seem to either steer away from it in favour of more combat, or in one group I've been in I at least was too afraid to flirt with the GM while his wife was at the table (...not that he wouldn't have started flirting with me if I hadn't failed the roll not to embarrass myself in front of the incubus, or had the succubus flirt with the other players if the nun hadn't dominated her first).

golentan
2015-07-20, 03:07 PM
It's something I want to come up more in games (not sex but, relationships both official and scandalous), but players seem to either steer away from it in favour of more combat, or in one group I've been in I at least was too afraid to flirt with the GM while his wife was at the table (...not that he wouldn't have started flirting with me if I hadn't failed the roll not to embarrass myself in front of the incubus, or had the succubus flirt with the other players if the nun hadn't dominated her first).

The general rule I use, unless people know they're getting into an Ecchi game, when things start making anyone uncomfortable, fade to black and go to the next scene (an hour later, the next day, whatever). Relationships are double-plus good for PCs in my mind, it helps avoid the worst of the Murderhobo emotionally stunted stereotypes, and sexuality is a part of that, but doesn't mean you need to go graphic. Just treat it like a TV show or book: Sometimes some shows will show more, but generally they're good about making it clear generally what happened without needing to go "Look at the genitals, LOOK AT THEM!!!"

Anonymouswizard
2015-07-20, 03:14 PM
The general rule I use, unless people know they're getting into an Ecchi game, when things start making anyone uncomfortable, fade to black and go to the next scene (an hour later, the next day, whatever). Relationships are double-plus good for PCs in my mind, it helps avoid the worst of the Murderhobo emotionally stunted stereotypes,

Oh, I agree here, you're preaching to the choir, but try telling that to my players.

As a side note, one of the results my MechWarrior character rolled when going through NAIS the second time was 'hung out with the military students', maybe there's a good chance for her to have had a relationship there. :smallwink:

I'll probably avoid having it be a current thing because of her status as nobility (the daughter of a count), but it should be fun.


and sexuality is a part of that, but doesn't mean you need to go graphic. Just treat it like a TV show or book: Sometimes some shows will show more, but generally they're good about making it clear generally what happened without needing to go "Look at the genitals, LOOK AT THEM!!!"

And if any character actually tried for that I'd reduce it to their choice of a check or fade to black. The problem I have is their characters are asexual, aromantic, with no interest in anything besides coin and killing. I've seriously thought about having the characters committed to an asylum at some points.

golentan
2015-07-20, 03:32 PM
Hey, I've played literal psychopaths before, but they still have interests other than money or blood. Hobbies. Emotions other than hate and sarcasm... :smalltongue:

Also, committing players is a potentially fun one depending on setting. Run a prison break style adventure...

goto124
2015-07-20, 06:57 PM
I see a lot of people who say that just don't want sexuality to come up in their games.

Keltest
2015-07-20, 07:05 PM
I see a lot of people who say that just don't want sexuality to come up in their games.

To be perfectly honest, if I wanted to roleplay sexuality, I would go out and find a real person. Having a love life is significantly more within the realm of possibility than slaying dragons is.

goto124
2015-07-20, 07:08 PM
They're plenty of people who disagree with you :smalltongue: Please forgive me, I'm just making a joke.

Also, a love life in the modern times is very different from a love life in a fantasy world where you slay dragons as your job. You work with a special set of circumstances, even a different kind of morality.

golentan
2015-07-20, 07:13 PM
Plus, if you just want to slay dragons, there are miniature wargames that handle it better. :smallbiggrin:

Part of the fun of roleplaying is having a living, breathing (or undead) person, an imaginary friend who you can make dance to your will like a puppet and kick back and laugh as they get shot repeatedly by kobolds...

Uh, I mean, ah....

But joking misanthropy aside, the social aspect of games is really important, and what differentiates RPGs from other tabletop games.

Seriously, it was a joke... :smallfrown:

Keltest
2015-07-20, 07:15 PM
Plus, if you just want to slay dragons, there are miniature wargames that handle it better. :smallbiggrin:

Part of the fun of roleplaying is having a living, breathing (or undead) person, an imaginary friend who you can make dance to your will like a puppet and kick back and laugh as they get shot repeatedly by kobolds...

Uh, I mean, ah....

But joking misanthropy aside, the social aspect of games is really important, and what differentiates RPGs from other tabletop games.

Seriously, it was a joke... :smallfrown:

No, that's OK, we laugh at the misfortune of our fellow players at my table all the time. Its all in good fun, especially when the enemies get in on the misfortunes as well.

Rater202
2015-07-20, 07:30 PM
Heterosexual male.

I'm currently playing a male hoosexual.

I'm hoping I'll get to play a straight woman eventually, but the closest I've come is a female who, do to a quirk of ancestry, has a life expectancy several times longer than the typical member of her race and cares more about having someone who she can grow old with and have meaningful connections than having someone whose bits were compatible.(No clue what that's called, if there's a term for it.)

In general, I don't assign orientations to a character unless or until it becomes relevant.

Anonymouswizard
2015-07-20, 07:58 PM
Heterosexual male.

I'm currently playing a male hoosexual.

Now, this could mean one of two things. Either you meant homosexual and this is a different sexuality to your own, or you meant whosexual, in which case your character is attracted to the doctor, who is one of those men, like Stephen Fry, who you do not need to be into men to be attracted to (because intelligence is sexy, apparently).

Coidzor
2015-07-20, 08:10 PM
I'm hoping I'll get to play a straight woman eventually, but the closest I've come is a female who, do to a quirk of ancestry, has a life expectancy several times longer than the typical member of her race and cares more about having someone who she can grow old with and have meaningful connections than having someone whose bits were compatible.(No clue what that's called, if there's a term for it.)

Elforomantic Asexual?

Rater202
2015-07-20, 08:11 PM
Typo. Missing m.


Elforomantic Asexual?

Let me rephrase: The character in question is sexually attracted to males.

However, she considers "Are the sexually attractive" to be considerably less important that her ability to form a connection with them, and their ability to not age and die several decades or centuries before she does, when it comes to choosing potential romantic partners.

Sith_Happens
2015-07-20, 08:45 PM
Let me rephrase: The character in question is sexually attracted to males.

However, she considers "Are the sexually attractive" to be considerably less important that her ability to form a connection with them, and their ability to not age and die several decades or centuries before she does, when it comes to choosing potential romantic partners.

I believe that's called "Man, immortality kind of sucks.":smalltongue:

Rater202
2015-07-20, 08:58 PM
She's not immortal.

It's just Dragon blood tends to give a species that's elderly at 200+ but otherwise ages as humans do a lifespan measured in more than 2 centuries.

For what it's worth, the character managed to find an unrelated dragon blooded female with a similar expected life expectancy and they have a mostly chaste romantic relationship, though the spend extended periods apart due to the PC being a professional adventurer while the other one has a real, not murder hoboing job

I don't know if there's an actual word for it, but at the time I'm thinking I was figuring "She's straight, but really flexible."

Is "Panromantic" a term that means what I think it means, because "flexible heterosexual panromantic" probably describes her pretty well in the absence of an actual term.

Talyn
2015-07-20, 09:38 PM
I am a straight male, and I've played primarily straight males. When not playing straight males, I play straight females. (I did play a lesbian in a Shadowrun-knockoff game about a decade ago, but it was a one-shot and her sexuality never came up.)

Our current campaign world has dwarves embrace (male) homosexuality as a consequence of a severely unbalanced sex disparity between males and females - I have a backup character who is a traditional male dwarf and is therefore at least bi, but since my current character (a straight male) keeps not getting killed despite my dice' best efforts, I haven't had a chance to play him yet.

Nexahs
2015-07-20, 09:57 PM
Now, this could mean one of two things. Either you meant homosexual and this is a different sexuality to your own, or you meant whosexual, in which case your character is attracted to the doctor, who is one of those men, like Stephen Fry, who you do not need to be into men to be attracted to (because intelligence is sexy, apparently).

No, I think it means he's attracted to owls and/or owlbears. :P


I'm hoping I'll get to play a straight woman eventually, but the closest I've come is a female who, do to a quirk of ancestry, has a life expectancy several times longer than the typical member of her race and cares more about having someone who she can grow old with and have meaningful connections than having someone whose bits were compatible.(No clue what that's called, if there's a term for it.)

In general, I don't assign orientations to a character unless or until it becomes relevant.

It never really occurred to me to intentionally play something unfamiliar to myself. I can see the appeal, broaden your horizons and all that. I'm always a bit concerned about not being able to represent a different type of person adequately; same reason I never set out thinking "I'm gonna roleplay a black guy!" I wouldn't want to unintentionally misrepresent a different state of mind, or fall into untrue tropes and cliches.

GrayGriffin
2015-07-20, 09:59 PM
The first time I actually decided a character's sexuality was because the pre-made sheet I used had a slot for that. I made her asexual panromantic, and that helped me to realize that I was on the asexual and aromantic spectrum. (demisexual+demiromantic, for the record) Another character in a parallel PBP counterpart to that game was bisexual, but possibly homoromantic. (Her endgame relationship was with another girl, and she seemed to generally be more interested in girls, but I didn't get lots of chances to play it out)

I later decided one of my other characters was also demisexual, but heteroromantic. All of my other characters don't really have listed sexualities, although I think another one (a guy) is on the asexual spectrum as well.

I do have a character in an ongoing game who's polyamorous as well, while I don't think I am. (being attracted to very few people in the first place makes that hard to tell)

goto124
2015-07-20, 10:06 PM
Speaking of polyamory, I have two characters (a female and a genderfluid) dating one male PC. It's fun!

Sith_Happens
2015-07-20, 11:27 PM
She's not immortal.

It's just Dragon blood tends to give a species that's elderly at 200+ but otherwise ages as humans do a lifespan measured in more than 2 centuries.

Same general principle.

BeerMug Paladin
2015-07-21, 12:02 AM
Most characters I play wind up as asexual, as the subject matter just doesn't come up. The only times I don't have an asexual character, I usually decide their sexuality after a few sessions, and what they prefer kind of ends up being random based on what I think suits them best.

Rhaegar14
2015-07-21, 12:05 AM
Typo. Missing m.



Let me rephrase: The character in question is sexually attracted to males.

However, she considers "Are the sexually attractive" to be considerably less important that her ability to form a connection with them, and their ability to not age and die several decades or centuries before she does, when it comes to choosing potential romantic partners.

Emphasis mine. While the immortality part of it complicates things, that particular piece of it is generally called demisexuality:


"Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond." -- demisexuality.org, "What is Demisexuality?"

Rater202
2015-07-21, 12:09 AM
Emphasis mine. While the immortality part of it complicates things, that particular piece of it is generally called demisexuality:

No, because she does feel sexual attraction to people she doesn't bond with. It's just not a factor.

Let's just drop it, it's gonna get confusing.

goto124
2015-07-21, 12:24 AM
I'm going with:


I believe that's called "Man, immortality kind of sucks.":smalltongue:

Steampunkette
2015-07-21, 12:59 AM
I generally play heterosexual, homosexual, and pansexual characters though I am bisexual, myself.

And in my case bisexual means 2+ genders, not "Both" or "All".

Cyber Punk
2015-07-21, 07:31 AM
[QUOTE=Steampunkette;19560898]I generally play heterosexual, homosexual, and pansexual characters though I am bisexual, myself./QUOTE]

I normally don't post here, but I had to, in this case, just to say: You and me both.

Anonymouswizard
2015-07-21, 07:36 AM
And in my case bisexual means 2+ genders, not "Both" or "All".

Just to jump on this, I define bisexual as 'attracted to multiple genders', while pan is 'gender? Meh, I like people'.

Cyber Punk
2015-07-21, 07:43 AM
I personally am attracted to the feminine. Gender doesn't matter. What does that make me?

Saladman
2015-07-21, 11:10 AM
For what it's worth, the character managed to find an unrelated dragon blooded female with a similar expected life expectancy and they have a mostly chaste romantic relationship, though the spend extended periods apart due to the PC being a professional adventurer while the other one has a real, not murder hoboing job.

If it were wholly chaste it would be romantic friendship (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romantic_friendship). And see also Boston Marriages, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_marriage)where two women split a house and expenses without a man being involved.

Prior to the 20th century it was a lot more common than people are aware of now. Men might walk down the street holding hands, women might share a bed with a friend at night, without anyone necessarily thinking they were more than just good friends. Probably some were keeping a secret, and others were repressing something, but it looks like a significant number really were just close friends. It took the modern hyper-awareness of sexuality in general and homosexuality as a category to make intimate same sex friendships suspicious and something to be avoided.

Anonymouswizard
2015-07-21, 11:19 AM
I personally am attracted to the feminine. Gender doesn't matter. What does that make me?

Flaming Eagle? Seems like a good enough sexuality as any. Define it however you want, it's not like my definitions of 'bi' and 'pan' are anywhere near accurate. :smallwink:


If it were wholly chaste it would be romantic friendship (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romantic_friendship). And see also Boston Marriages, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_marriage)where two women split a house and expenses without a man being involved.

Prior to the 20th century it was a lot more common than people are aware of now. Men might walk down the street holding hands, women might share a bed with a friend at night, without anyone necessarily thinking they were more than just good friends. Probably some were keeping a secret, and others were repressing something, but it looks like a significant number really were just close friends. It took the modern hyper-awareness of sexuality in general and homosexuality as a category to make intimate same sex friendships suspicious and something to be avoided.

The weird thing is, people find it less weird when I do such things with my male friends than my female friends. I can never understand why 'close friends' stuff is different between genders.

Esprit15
2015-07-21, 12:02 PM
No, but I (straight male) did wind up playing a straight woman once. Wound up in a romance with another PC, in fact, also played by a straight guy.

Happened with me as well. Probably was one of my better characters, actually. I have had bicurious characters, but that was more a result of the game and story that it tends to create. Most of the time, sexuality doesn't come up in games I play, and I tend to just go with whatever feels right for the character if it does.

BWR
2015-07-21, 01:38 PM
Sexuality doesn't turn up in most of my characters and when it does they tend to be straight, be they male or female. More by default than any real intention on my part.
I think the first character I played that I was intentionally undecided about their sexual orientation was a character for Kult. I think the first explicitly homosexual character I played was in an OA game. The GM told me he was gay because it worked for the plot she was running at the time. I think I played a bi character or two at one point, but sex and romance wasn't really a big part of the game so I'm a bit unsure if they really were or if I just considered that they might be. Either that or they died before it became an issue.

But yeah, I do play something other than straight people now and then.

Lord Torath
2015-07-21, 02:48 PM
Straight male, here. Most of my characters are straight as well (of either gender). But it usually doesn't come up that often.

The extent of my sexual experiences in RPG is as follows: My male mage flirted with the nurses (who were assumed to be female) while recovering from hitting 0 hp. In my paladin's background, he married a female human and had a baby. Oh, and the male cleric joked about "laying hands" on my halfling thief, and she replied by commenting how quick she was with her daggers, and certain things were at just about the right level, and she could ensure he'd never feel the urge to "lay hands" on anyone again.

MesiDoomstalker
2015-07-21, 03:55 PM
This is an interesting question. When I first started playing Tabletops was about the same time I came out of the closet (Gay Male here) and was still discovering a lot of things about myself. My very first character was Gay. Just seemed natural. From there most my characters were undefined, simply because the question never came up and it was never relevant. As I gained more experience, I started branching out into various combinations of Gender and Orientation. I'd say more frequently than not I play something besides Gay Male because while my friends are supportive and accepting, their are limits to what they are comfortable with in our shared enjoyment.

Amphetryon
2015-07-21, 04:00 PM
I believe that's called "Man, immortality kind of sucks.":smalltongue:

Are you trying to get someone to link to The Highlander soundtrack? Because this is how you get people to link to The Highlander soundtrack.

Delusion
2015-07-21, 04:19 PM
You get to be a lesbian every day! I mean, if you're gonna play a fantasy game, why not do something weird, like a bi woman? :smallbiggrin:

Something like that. Though with last bi character I played it was because she became the clan champion of her clan at the end of the campaign and she would have to produce heir eventually, and I didn't want to make that too tragic by her being a Lesbian.

Also, by making the character bi I maximise the amount of possible romance ark options, even though romance arks don't come up often. Its pure optimisation :smalltongue:

One Tin Soldier
2015-07-21, 04:23 PM
I've adopted the attitude of "undefined until relevant" for most of my characters. The ones I've had in the past have been heterosexual, hetero-but-in-a-relationship-with-a-shapeshifter-so-who-really-knows-for-sure, asexual, and I think a couple bi characters for whom I decided on it but never had it come up. Somewhat relatedly, I try to play a mix of gender, age, and background for characters. Including a Demon, who's gender and sexuality is "whatever my Cover's is." Which is, admittedly, the norm for the Unchained. Which is one of the reasons I love that game

The Fury
2015-07-21, 11:21 PM
Like One Tin Soldier and BeerMug Paladin, I prefer the "undefined until it actually becomes relevant" approach. Like a number of character traits, a character's sexuality is something that I need time to work out and generally will only make sense until after I've played them for a while.
That said, I'd consider the last three characters I've played to be asexual. To me, they all came off as too obsessed with their job or cause to be interested in sex at all. I think the one I made before those three was a robot-- genderless and probably has a poor understanding of how sex works.

goto124
2015-07-21, 11:43 PM
I have a male PC who was 'technically straight, effectively asexual' until another male PC (my female PC's boyfriend) flirted with him...

BootStrapTommy
2015-07-22, 01:11 AM
Oh, look. Tumblr invade the Playground. And they're making up words again...

Sex is not really a thing any of the people I roleplay with ever seem to want to pursue. Like even in real life, honestly. So the one instance I played a character who had a fleshed out sexual orientation was a pansexual mute precog catgirl.

Honestly it was mostly consequential to the character's design, as I was attempting to make a charismatic capable of "convincing" just about anything to her way.

Didn't stop me from making every other member of the party uncomfortable by constantly seducing them...

BWR
2015-07-22, 03:41 AM
Did you make the PC's uncomfortable or the players?

Cyber Punk
2015-07-22, 04:39 AM
Personally, I haven't (until recently) started out deciding the sexuality of my characters. Usually, it either comes as a result of the backstory, or as a result of character interaction. I even have a character that is robosexual (granted, he's a living nanomorph suit)... It's probably because some of my less-restrained characters are rather flirty.

BootStrapTommy
2015-07-22, 10:20 AM
Did you make the PC's uncomfortable or the players?
Statistically speaking, the characters were almost required to feel comfortable around my character.

Players, however, not so much.

I almost forgot though, that while DMing a campaign I used a openly gay balor lord as a BBEG. He reappeared in subsequent campaigns, usually as a questgiving NPC. One of the funniest NPCs I've made.

Lorsa
2015-07-22, 12:15 PM
I am a straight male, and I've played primarily straight males. When not playing straight males, I play straight females. (I did play a lesbian in a Shadowrun-knockoff game about a decade ago, but it was a one-shot and her sexuality never came up.)

Our current campaign world has dwarves embrace (male) homosexuality as a consequence of a severely unbalanced sex disparity between males and females - I have a backup character who is a traditional male dwarf and is therefore at least bi, but since my current character (a straight male) keeps not getting killed despite my dice' best efforts, I haven't had a chance to play him yet.

Since sexuality can change over time, there is nothing stopping you from having your current character becoming bisexual as well?


I generally play heterosexual, homosexual, and pansexual characters though I am bisexual, myself.

And in my case bisexual means 2+ genders, not "Both" or "All".

I thought bisexual referred to 2 genders period? That's what "bi" usually mean? It certainly doesn't mean all, and could only mean both in a world with two genders (there could be such worlds, this is a forum for made-up worlds after all). If it's more than two then I guess trisexual could be accurate, or perhaps omnisexual or pansexual?

Dienekes
2015-07-22, 12:31 PM
Not really, I've always found romance and sexuality boring in real life. And as a result, I have little desire to play characters that puts more emphasis on a part of life I find boring.

So, all of my characters are pretty much sexless goons.

LibraryOgre
2015-07-22, 12:38 PM
I thought bisexual referred to 2 genders period? That's what "bi" usually mean? It certainly doesn't mean all, and could only mean both in a world with two genders (there could be such worlds, this is a forum for made-up worlds after all). If it's more than two then I guess trisexual could be accurate, or perhaps omnisexual or pansexual?

The Mod Wonder: This moves a bit more into the politics surrounding Bisexuality, Pansexuality, and terminology, and might be best dealt with elsewhere.

One Tin Soldier
2015-07-22, 06:28 PM
Oh, look. Tumblr invade the Playground. And they're making up words again...


What words exactly do you think people are making up? Sexuality is a very complicated thing; even the wide variety of terminology that people have become familiar with thanks to Tumblr can be inadequate sometimes. (As demonstrated by Rater's dilemma.) Just because you're not familiar with it doesn't mean it's not real.
EDIT: To be clear, I'm not trying to start an argument. I want to know what terminology confuses you so that its meaning can be cleared up.

Nifft
2015-07-22, 06:55 PM
As a DM, I've played NPCs with pretty much any combination of gender and sexual orientation.

It's only occasionally relevant, and I'm not really interested in erotic roleplay during a game, but I do think that hook-ups and affairs can be good dramatic motivators, so the NPCs and characters do engage in such activities... just not on camera, as it were.

The most that happens is flirting, and then fade-to-black implied relations.

Sith_Happens
2015-07-22, 07:07 PM
Statistically speaking, the characters were almost required to feel comfortable around my character.

Oh Diplomacy skill, is there any end to the ways in which you can be horribly abused?:smalltongue:

BootStrapTommy
2015-07-22, 07:51 PM
What words exactly do you think people are making up? Sexuality is a very complicated thing; even the wide variety of terminology that people have become familiar with thanks to Tumblr can be inadequate sometimes. (As demonstrated by Rater's dilemma.) Just because you're not familiar with it doesn't mean it's not real.
EDIT: To be clear, I'm not trying to start an argument. I want to know what terminology confuses you so that its meaning can be cleared up. My opinions and frustrations on deliberate obfuscation by language notwithstanding, 'twas sarcasm.


Oh Diplomacy skill, is there any end to the ways in which you can be horribly abused?:smalltongue: GURPS handles everything very differently than other RPGs. Thus being a PC in no way makes you immune to sex pheromones or esctasy-inducing perspiration. Or the gyrating hips of a scantly clad catgirl.

AceOfFools
2015-07-23, 06:24 AM
I played a homosexual male paladin once. It mostly manifested in him subconsciously (on his part) prioritizing saving the volunerable young men in any mixed group of NPCS that needed saving.

One Tin Soldier
2015-07-23, 12:50 PM
My opinions and frustrations on deliberate obfuscation by language notwithstanding, 'twas sarcasm.

Ah, ok. It can be hard to tell sometimes without blue text or an emoticon. :smalltongue:

Penguinator
2015-07-23, 01:15 PM
I don't think it's ever come up in my tabletop, but I also haven't played a particularly large number of campaigns.

On the other hand, with Forum Emblem, it comes up more often given that Supports are one of the cruxes of the series. That being said, most of the games die before the characters actually get anywhere. I did have a pair make it to an A support before the game died. In that pair, I played a male who liked to crossdress who was into women. He got together with an incredibly naive woman who thought he was a woman until their A support. Outside of game canon, we decided that they have two children.
With the same player, we have another pair. In this case, it was fortunate that the game died - her character was to be in a relationship with a different character largely because her brother wanted to play a lesbian. After the game died, his character was in another game and became much more developed through that game, ending up in a relationship with a different woman. Our characters, who had a more meaningful relationship out-of-game, got together in "our" canon. My character is a heteroromantic asexual man, hers is a biromantic asexual woman. They eventually adopted a puppy.
I've also played a couple straight women.

Lakaz
2015-07-23, 01:37 PM
I, as a bi male, have played asexual characters of both genders, straight males, straight females, bi females and character whose sexuality got so confused even I didn't know her orientation by the end of it (I never should've signed up for that campaign set in Ian M. Bank's 'culture' novels...)
So to answer the question: Yes. Yes i have.

Hyena
2015-07-24, 03:20 PM
I, myself, am straight, but I had both a lesbian and a gay character - the latter being the hugely infamous in the small circles Jackal. While sexuality was a big part of first character's story, it being a personal and political intrigue, the second one existed in a hack and slash superhero rpg, so his sexuality was just kind of a thing that existed, but has never really become important.

Exediron
2015-07-24, 05:18 PM
I must have played pretty close to every orientation at some point by now, and definitely every 'mainstream' one. My own (asexual) is towards the bottom of the list in terms of frequency. Since we play in a very interaction-heavy game, I always need to know it sooner or later; I don't roll, it just comes naturally for every character. Sometimes it's part of their concept ahead of time if it's important to them or has to be defined for some reason.

My most common character orientation is straight, vanilla heterosexual.

EDIT: I'm pleasantly surprised to find that the answer (among people who have responded, at least) seems to mostly be yes.

Hiro Protagonest
2015-07-24, 06:31 PM
As a straight guy, I tend to play bisexual women. Why I play women is another matter (mostly, desire to play a good-looking character and being able to gauge it better, and just being a little different from me), but since I'm both naturally attracted to women and comfortable with roleplaying a bi woman, why would I limit myself to lesbian or straight? Like someone said upthread, optimization. :smalltongue:

Whether this actually is relevant is another matter. I have a concept for one character who has a steady boyfriend written into her backstory.

Nexahs
2015-07-24, 07:13 PM
GURPS handles everything very differently than other RPGs. Thus being a PC in no way makes you immune to sex pheromones or esctasy-inducing perspiration. Or the gyrating hips of a scantly clad catgirl.

Who needs Diplomacy when you have Erotic Art? :smalltongue:

Nifft
2015-07-24, 07:17 PM
Who needs Diplomacy when you have Erotic Art? :smalltongue:

Pretty girls can use hair-fliplomacy.

Not even gonna blue text that.

BootStrapTommy
2015-07-24, 09:49 PM
Who needs Diplomacy when you have Erotic Art? :smalltongue: That shouldn't even be blue texted. That's just a fact.

Mr.Sandman
2015-07-25, 04:02 PM
Straight Male, or something rather close to it physically, but I often play Lesbians when it comes up. This is mostly because I find the male body, even my own, a bit repulsive, and if romance does pop up I would rather neither party be male. I do make an exception when playing with my RL wife, even if our characters don't wind up together. I have also played an elementalsexual gnome, and a Hatcher, from a three gendered race consisting of Seeders, Layers, and Hatchers, who was only physically attracted to Layers, though they did grow romantically attached to the Seeder that finished the trio they were in eventually.

Talyn
2015-07-25, 07:23 PM
Since sexuality can change over time, there is nothing stopping you from having your current character becoming bisexual as well?



I suppose that is true, but his primary character sub-plot is based around a heterosexual relationship (he is a low-ranking knight in love with a princess, and is questing to prove himself worthy of her), so I don't see a shift like that meshing with his arc... :smallbiggrin:

goto124
2015-07-25, 07:52 PM
Why would bisexuality stop him from proving himself to the princess? He's still attracted to women.

Steampunkette
2015-07-25, 07:58 PM
Yeah... that is a common misconception. Bisexual people are still bisexual, even if we're in heterosexual or homosexual relationships.

Just because your knight might wanna grab a lance does not mean he can't slay the dragon.

Steampunkette
2015-07-25, 08:05 PM
Also worth asking.

Is a straight male player really exploring a different sexuality when he plays a lesbian character?

He and his character are both gynophillic. He is just translating that gynophillia through a differently gendered character from himself. Depending on DM and game style he might have to deal with the social repercussions of being a lesbian within the confines of the game world, but that tends to be more rarely dealt with.

Food for thought.

Hiro Protagonest
2015-07-25, 08:05 PM
Just because your knight might wanna grab a lance does not mean he can't slay the dragon.

...Erm... I don't think "slay the dragon" is a euphemism.

Talyn
2015-07-25, 08:48 PM
Yeah... that is a common misconception. Bisexual people are still bisexual, even if we're in heterosexual or homosexual relationships.

Just because your knight might wanna grab a lance does not mean he can't slay the dragon.

LOL, love the expression.

A sexual or romantic relationship with anyone else, hetero or otherwise, would NOT be part of his character arc - unless the princess rejects him and marries someone else, I suppose. Even then, he'd probably be in mourning for the rest of the campaign.

Nifft
2015-07-25, 09:02 PM
Is a straight male player really exploring a different sexuality when he plays a lesbian character?

He and his character are both gynophillic. He is just translating that gynophillia through a differently gendered character from himself. Depending on DM and game style he might have to deal with the social repercussions of being a lesbian within the confines of the game world, but that tends to be more rarely dealt with.

It sounds like your games have a lot more porn than mine do -- and a lot less interpersonal drama.

Honestly the only part of a relationship that would be relevant in my games would be the social (and political) repercussions of the relationship. So yeah, if that happened in one of my games, that would be the main thing that was dealt with.

- - -

I don't really like your line of inquiry -- it's got a lot of potential for implicit "no true Scotsman" bashing, and asserting that this group you're trying to call out aren't ~really~ doing the thing which you and your group can do.

Is a human really exploring race and identity when she plays an Elf?

The answer is: sometimes.

Straighters gonna straight. Haters gonna hate. Don't be a straighter hater.

Amphetryon
2015-07-25, 09:11 PM
Also worth asking.

Is a straight male player really exploring a different sexuality when he plays a lesbian character?

He and his character are both gynophillic. He is just translating that gynophillia through a differently gendered character from himself. Depending on DM and game style he might have to deal with the social repercussions of being a lesbian within the confines of the game world, but that tends to be more rarely dealt with.

Food for thought.

If it is your belief that a heterosexual male and a lesbian female share the same thought processes regarding romance and sexuality, nothing we say will disabuse you of that notion. If that is not your belief, nothing we say will sway you to that way of thinking.

Steampunkette
2015-07-25, 11:17 PM
Talyn, I'm saying that your character doesn't have to act on attractions to be bi. Being in a hetero relationship doesn't preclude attraction to other dudes. He doesn't have to act on that attraction to be bi. My husband is straight. I'm bi. That doesn't mean I go after other girls, because I am in a committed relationship.

Nifft. Wait, what? Porn? No. Acknowledgement of characters having relationships in the background? Yes. Your assumption is terrible.

As far as the gynophillic question, I wonder it because I'm wondering how much of it is actual shifting of thought process and how much of it is just translation. Yes, lesbians and straight men think differently. But how many guys are changing their thought processes?

It's like the bevy of dudes who play lesbians in mmorpgs because the don't wanna watch a man ass run across their screen and think sexy roleplay with a male partner is gross. Is it really about the character's sexuality or is it just disgust or disdain of other dudes' s peeners.

Nifft
2015-07-26, 12:19 AM
Depending on DM and game style he might have to deal with the social repercussions of being a lesbian within the confines of the game world, but that tends to be more rarely dealt with.


Nifft. Wait, what? Porn? No. Acknowledgement of characters having relationships in the background? Yes. Your assumption is terrible. I'm just reading what you wrote.

You just said you see relationships, but not social repercussions from the relationships.

What else is there other than social (& political) repercussions?


As far as the gynophillic question, I wonder it because I'm wondering how much of it is actual shifting of thought process and how much of it is just translation. Yes, lesbians and straight men think differently. But how many guys are changing their thought processes? It's disturbing how you're trying to guess the thought process of people you don't know, and then judge them for it.

I feel like this attitude wouldn't be acceptable if the target group were not straight dudes.


It's like the bevy of dudes who play lesbians in mmorpgs because the don't wanna watch a man ass run across their screen and think sexy roleplay with a male partner is gross. Is it really about the character's sexuality or is it just disgust or disdain of other dudes' s peeners. Oh, I see. This is really a complaint about video games.

Can't really speak to that. I don't play those games.

Maybe try video games which aren't full of adolescents?

Steampunkette
2015-07-26, 12:32 AM
What beyond sex is in relationships that isn't social and political repercussiosn? Well there's emotional investment, declarations of affection, hand holding and other nonsexual displays of affection, dating, talking about relationship goals, arguing, reconciliation... just... everythong. Everything in any relationship that could occur.

The social and political repercussions are other people's reaction to your actions or, in this case, socially nonconforming relationship.

I was saying that some DMs might have characters react to open lesbians in a negative or positive way which results in the game world being different for a lesbian than it would be for a straight dude, but it's uncommon that it happens.

As for adolescents... who do you think the target audience of D&D has been since... well... forever? Teenagers and young adults since at least 2e. And mostly dudes to boot based on the advertising methods, styles, and venues.

But yeah. RPGs. MMO and otherwise, there tends to be very little in game reaction to these kinds of relationships beyond "Okay, cool. So, about this dragon..."

Dire Moose
2015-07-26, 02:43 AM
Most of my characters really don't have clearly-defined sexual orientations since roleplaying romance isn't something that I've encountered a lot.

When my characters do have a sexual orientation involved in their backgrounds, they're usually bisexual as that happens to be my orientation as well.

YPU
2015-07-26, 03:02 AM
You know its funny, my group has two bi-sexual players and one gay, plus two straight guys. Its the straight guys who will now and then break away from their real world preference. Is the elf so androgynous your not sure about their gender? Hit on it. Is the rich guildsman showing interest by all means flirt back. I find my players often play what they are not, which is not a bad thing.

Frozen_Feet
2015-07-26, 10:48 AM
@Nifft: I don't think there's any real judgement of male players underlying Steampunkette's question regarding gynophilia. I find it a genuinely interesting question. It is a specific form of a question that's relevant to all roleplaying: "how well can you think like a person who is not you, and how much of your characters is just you?"

It's not easily answered, though. To my knowledge no real study has ever been made on this in the context of RPGs. I do think that there's enough overlap between how straight men think of romance and sex and how homosexual women think of them, that some men will play a convincing gay woman by sheer accident, and vice versa.

I don't think discussing CRPG tropes is going to be particularly helpful, though. Most of the time the choice of avatar is purely aesthetic with the roleplaying aspect being minimal or absent. It's useless to ask how well someone can get in character when they're not really even trying.

Steampunkette
2015-07-26, 04:26 PM
Frozen's got the right of it. It wasn't an attack on dudes, just a question about transferrence and roleplay.

And while CRPG tropes might not be super helpful, a lot of the same attitudes carry over because you're dealing with (in large part) the same players.

BootStrapTommy
2015-07-26, 05:54 PM
I'd dine to say that the issue, Steam, arose from from the gender charged language you used. The question was asked within the terms of male sexuality, when it is a legitimate question within terms of all sexuality.

How much of a player's efforts are actually an attempt to play a character of a different identity and how much of a player's action are simple the projection of the player's preference upon another gendered character?

Steampunkette
2015-07-26, 06:12 PM
It really depends on the person in question's sexuality...

For a bisexual or pansexual person playing a monosexual character they're actively setting aside their own attraction to characters their character wouldn't be attracted to. Meanwhile Asexual players playing characters of any sexuality are exploring attractions they don't feel whatsoever.

For monosexual players it's a little more complex. Is there just a transference of personal attraction when a male heterosexual plays a lesbian? Or when a gay man plays a straight woman? Same thing when a straight woman plays a gay man or a gay woman plays a straight man.

Hard to say. There's no other components of their personal sexuality in play to gauge off of, you know?

At what point does the character's gender divergence from the player's gender represent a separate and distinct sexual component in the relationship? As a trans woman, myself, I find it an important question.

erikun
2015-07-26, 06:13 PM
Given how awkward sexual relations can be at the table, I typically play my characters without any sexual interest. I realize that asexuality is not exactly commonly talked about with sexual orientation discussion, but I felt like pointing it out.

And given that some gaming groups were quite vocal or jocular about the subject, it was sometimes amusing to have my characters literally chasing people out of their bedrooms because they wanted to sleep instead. :smalltongue:

goto124
2015-07-26, 09:45 PM
it was sometimes amusing to have my characters literally chasing people out of their bedrooms because they wanted to sleep instead. :smalltongue:

To be honest, even hetero/homo/bi/etc-sexual characters will chase people out when the former are /really/ tired and lacking energy and just want to sleep.


How much of a player's efforts are actually an attempt to play a character of a different identity and how much of a player's action are simple the projection of the player's preference upon another gendered character?

Projecting your preferences onto another character can let you see how much (or how little!) things change when genders, locations, eras, etc are changed. It's fun exploration in and of itself.

HolyCouncilMagi
2015-07-26, 10:21 PM
As much as saying "I don't want to start a debate" is useless, especially on the internet, I'm going to do it anyway, and say that I don't want to start a debate about whether there are ingrained personality differences between men and women in the real world. It's a discussion that doesn't belong on these forums and it wouldn't be terribly relevant to the discussion at hand.

However, I must say that within RPGs, the prevailing mode of thought is that there aren't inherent personality differences between men and women except insofar as the people decide to adhere to gender-specific stereotypes. Especially among adventurers but also in the world at large in many settings (exempting ones based on the real world, like Ars Magica), women having traditionally masculine traits and men having traditionally feminine traits tends to be something that isn't looked upon with a second glance, because in many cases everybody is just trying to get by and that isn't considered important. Even in campaign worlds where gender traits are emphasized, it's generally mostly among royalty and other rich people who can afford to say "I feel like setting arbitrary social boundaries and I can because I'm rich" and totally de-emphasized among poorer citizens.

This is important to the prior line of discussions, because at the end of the day, a guy playing a female character however he feels like playing the character and a girl playing a female character however she feels like will both feel appropriate in the context of RPG-land, even if some inherent difference exists in the real world (and I'm not saying it does). Given that, then, it makes sense that a straight male character wouldn't be played any differently in how they pursue a relationship with a female than how a lesbian female character would be played, because men and women aren't significantly different in any way but genitalia in the context of most RPG worlds.

Steampunkette
2015-07-27, 01:48 AM
I really like you, Holy. There might be points I disagree with you on, but you are intelligent, insightful, and eloquent.

I agree that there are no inherent differences, just socially enforced ones. But that veers toward politics so I'll leave it there unless someone wants to PM me for that kind of discussion!

Nifft
2015-07-27, 02:36 AM
What beyond sex is in relationships that isn't social and political repercussiosn? Well there's emotional investment, declarations of affection, hand holding and other nonsexual displays of affection, dating, talking about relationship goals, arguing, reconciliation... just... everythong. Everything in any relationship that could occur.
Oh, okay. At my table, that kind of thing wouldn't usually require DM involvement -- nor would it usually come up at the table. It would be stuff you (as a player) could just put in your journal write-ups or mention that it happens or whatever.


I was saying that some DMs might have characters react to open lesbians in a negative or positive way which results in the game world being different for a lesbian than it would be for a straight dude, but it's uncommon that it happens. Hmm. I haven't actually seen much of that -- generally, if there's a gay or bi player or DM, then the game world is open and accepting of homosexuality for exactly the same reason that most fantasy kingdoms are not racist against real-world races nor show religious intolerance towards real-world religions.

I guess my experience isn't typical.


But yeah. RPGs. MMO and otherwise, there tends to be very little in game reaction to these kinds of relationships beyond "Okay, cool. So, about this dragon..." Well, yeah. A dragon is a thing that everyone at the table can have fun dealing with together.

A relationship is usually a thing which does NOT involve all the players at once. (Except in Exalted.)


@Nifft: I don't think there's any real judgement of male players underlying Steampunkette's question regarding gynophilia. I find it a genuinely interesting question. It is a specific form of a question that's relevant to all roleplaying: "how well can you think like a person who is not you, and how much of your characters is just you?" The less-specific version is a much less loaded question, and I like that question a lot more.

One possible way to look at the data would be to examine transsexuals. See if playstyle changes occur at certain points:
1/ Before vs. after the trans person realizes s/he is trans.
2/ Before vs. after his or her operation.

Look for behavior changes in normal life and see if those same changes are mirrored in the RPG.

Obviously, the same technique could be applied to non-sexual personality traits, to see how much of "you" makes its way into your characters. Looking at non-sexual personality traits is much less likely to cause embarrassment or rioting -- so maybe let's start there.

(Big Brother is watching you for Science.)

Steampunkette
2015-07-27, 04:06 AM
Okay, so, as a trans woman I can tell you that there isn't a change. Though not all trans individuals have the operation or even take hormones, that is primarily physical, not emotional or psychological. The only thing hormones does for me (other than nicer skin and a slightly more feminine scent) is bring my emotional state up from the depressed and low energy state I was in while my hormones were out of whack.

This is because I was always a woman. People just thought I was a dude.

However how people reacted to me playing characters (and generally living my life) changed. Guys would get uncomfortable when my character seduced a guard, or would make defamatory statements about my mental state or sexuality. Now no one bats an eyelash. Because boobs.

Dozens and even hundreds of other trans women gamers have shared the same kind of story for years online in a variety of communities, too!

As for sitting at the wrong table. I think you're sitting at the right table, for certain. No one should treat MOGAI individuals like we're often treated. I'm just saying that someone bellying up to the table to experience life as a trans woman is getting a less than accurate experience because of the lack of reaction. They're getting an idealized version, which is great don't get me wrong, jnstead.

Baeraad
2015-07-27, 07:29 AM
I was going to answer like several other people, "only in the sense that most of my characters seem entirely asexual," but then I remembered that there was a few times when I was a lot younger that I briefly played a few gay characters. Or one gay character and one who I thought of as gay at the time but who I think we would today consider a heterosexual transwoman (the premise was that all the characters entered a dreamworld when sleeping, where they took on an idealised for of themselves. This physically male character's idealised form turned out to be female).

But since then, no. I don't feel very comfortable with sex in roleplaying games, so my characters tend to celibate wizards, straight-laced Victorian bachelors, socially awkward shut-ins, mutants/aliens whose psychologies are too strange to contain regular sexuality at all... You get the idea.

golentan
2015-07-27, 11:38 AM
My asexual shaman in shadowrun has now invited her tentacle monster significant other to move in with her. She's living in the basement of a heavily armed safehouse and she hasn't mentioned that her SO is a tentacle monster to her teammates. And they like to cuddle.

Yes, it too is asexual.

Still... This can only end in hilarity.

HolyCouncilMagi
2015-07-27, 06:33 PM
I really like you, Holy. There might be points I disagree with you on, but you are intelligent, insightful, and eloquent.

I agree that there are no inherent differences, just socially enforced ones. But that veers toward politics so I'll leave it there unless someone wants to PM me for that kind of discussion!

Thank you! That's very kind of you to say, and I could offer you similar compliments. :smallbiggrin: I can tell you put a lot of thought into what you say, and that stands out to me in a world where people have become accustomed to blurting out the first impulsive thing they think of so they can quickly move on to whatever they're doing or saying next.

Which is not to say that everybody else in the thread is devoid of positive traits, but I feel a certain inclination to return the effort to somebody who went out of their way to compliment me. :smalltongue:

On-topic, in line with my perspective that gender traits aren't really a thing in RPGs, I think the only time I ever play a character with a different sexuality from my own is if there's setting relevance attached to it. Like, if one sexuality is persecuted, I might play that sexuality, or an opposing sexuality who is sympathetic but doesn't necessarily "get it."

goto124
2015-07-28, 02:12 AM
I've seen a few 'accidentally heterosexual' PCs here. I suppose I'm unique in that I had a male PC who's 'accidentally bisexual', or somewhat more accurately 'accidentally androsexual' ('androsexual' means 'attracted to males'. If you're curious, 'gynosexual' means 'attracted to females'). Because another male PC hit on him.

To be fair, my male PC at that time may not have been really male, in the sense that I'd been using female pronouns (she, her, etc) to describe him, and there was no reason to suspect he was not female.

Come to think of it, I don't think I've actually roleplayed gynosexuality. I tend to hold back on my flirting to avoid creeping people out. I probably wouldn't have rp'd androsexuality either if I wasn't given a sufficiently comfortable opportunity.

Odessa333
2015-07-28, 07:58 AM
An interesting thread title. I myself am transgender, and for the years I was in the closest I played as a straight white guy as I did NOT want attention. Since transitioning, I've allowed myself more freedom, having played characters from much of the LGBT spectrum. When done right, it's an interesting way to walk a mile in someone else's shoes.

The Grue
2015-07-28, 11:20 AM
Character sexuality has never been relevant at any of my gaming tables, so I can't really answer one way or the other.

Video games, of course, are a different matter. Male Hawke + Anders 4evar

BootStrapTommy
2015-07-28, 11:35 AM
Video games, of course, are a different matter. Male Hawke + Anders 4evar I'd man the sails on that ship. And Iron Bull + Any Inquisitor

PoeticDwarf
2015-07-31, 08:23 AM
(I'm a straight guy)

The other day I decided to just roll a dice for my half-elf lady paladin's sexuality as soon as it became relevant (she was being hit on), and she came out gay. I'm not expecting there to be a lot of in-depth roleplaying or romance in the campaign, but character details are always nice and it occurs to me that in a medieval setting it might explain why a noblewoman knight is travelling on foot, with no retinue and very little money.

How about you guys? I don't really have a point to make here, I'm just curious.

My characters are mostly bisexual, one time I got a love elixer (or something) from a kobold (a man). But I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Tarqiup Inua
2015-07-31, 08:46 AM
I never considered sexuality as something that should define a character, though I suppose it can be interesting in certain settings. I have seen roleplay of a page who was secretly a gay in a conservative society (he was roleplayed by a woman) and I suppose it did create some tension as the knight he served to would sometimes talk in length about finding a good groom for his adoptive daughter and that would, sometimes, lead to discussion about getting someone for the page, as well. It was a good plot device.

It can be interesting, but it is seldom relevant and most of the time outright boring. Sexuality in tabletop games... depends on the campaign, I guess. As far as making character interesting, there are actually interesting ways to do that. I, for one, don't think that who do they share their bed with matters at all 9 times out of 10.

Sith_Happens
2015-07-31, 09:33 AM
[Snip]

http://replygif.net/i/893.gif
Hopefully that isn't huge, if there's any way to tell on mobile I haven't figured it out.


My asexual shaman in shadowrun has now invited her tentacle monster significant other to move in with her. She's living in the basement of a heavily armed safehouse and she hasn't mentioned that her SO is a tentacle monster to her teammates. And they like to cuddle.

Yes, it too is asexual.

Still... This can only end in hilarity.

I hope at least one of them knows how to search for hidden cameras.:smalltongue:


On-topic, in line with my perspective that gender traits aren't really a thing in RPGs, I think the only time I ever play a character with a different sexuality from my own is if there's setting relevance attached to it. Like, if one sexuality is persecuted, I might play that sexuality, or an opposing sexuality who is sympathetic but doesn't necessarily "get it."

I'm of the same mind. I don't see myself playing a character of different gender and/or orientation from my own any differently because of it, therefore I'm really only interested in doing so in the first place if I know there is or will be some sort of point to it.

GungHo
2015-07-31, 10:03 AM
Yeah. If it fits the character in my mind, I can make it a part of their background.

ShadowFighter15
2015-08-04, 07:13 AM
Most of my female characters have been gay, but part of that was because I figured there'd be some overlap there with my real-life sexuality (straight male). Granted; that idea started back when I was in my mid-teens and is just habit these days, but I try to change how much of an impact it has on their personality.

One is an Aldori Swordlord from Mendev (should mention; all three of these are from Golarion where most cultures view sexuality as "who gives a smeg?"), her sexuality is known and accepted to her, but her family may be in the dark about it simply because she hasn't dated anyone nor has she had any sort of romantic relationships or even shown interest in either sex. In truth she's just subtle about where and when her eyes wander and has been more interested in her training as an Aldori Swordlord while proving to her parents that, just because she's an aasimar, that doesn't mean she's just gonna go and be a priest or paladin.

Another is an arcanist from Sandpoint, made for a Jade Regent game, who is infatuated with the local bartender, Ameiko Kaijitsu. You could think of her more as the "awkward girl with a major crush" who just happens to be attracted to another woman. I'm still debating how vivid her imagination is and how out-of-control it can get, but mainly for a bit of comic relief than anything else.

The third jumps to the other end of the scale - a tiefling paladin made for a Wrath of the Righteous game. As far as her love-life goes, you could think of her as a female version of Elliot Spenser from Leverage; very flirty, plenty of lovers, but doesn't kiss-and-tell and actually takes the time to really get to know the women she's with (Elliot often mentioned having dated/slept with a woman as to how he knows something about a particular profession - like when he mentioned knowing a surprising bit about an MRI and explaining that he'd dated a neurologist; it meant he actually took to time to get to know her, hear about her job, actually listen to what she had to say about her job, and so on). Being a paladin, she doesn't lead them on either; making it clear that it's just a short-term or even just a one-night thing. Basically; she found ways to be a prolific womaniser without violating her paladin's code (which says nothing about celibacy). But if anyone approached her for advice on a more long-term relationship, they're barking up the wrong tree; she hasn't been in any long-term relationship that wasn't just 'friends-with-benefits'. I haven't decided on just how much that bothers her, if at all.

Basically; I use it more to see how that character approaches romance in general. I could easily switch those characters to being straight or bi and little would change (save for the paladin taking a few extra precautions, of course:smallwink: ). I admit, part of that is more that I just don't like dealing with angst from a narrative standpoint. Partly because I just don't feel like I could do it justice, but also because I can't think of ways to introduce it without bogging the game down - I mostly play in play-by-post games on Myth Weavers or the Paizo boards, so having too many posts dealing with one character's angst can slow the game down a fair bit, particularly if I'm the only player outside the US because then time-zones become a factor.

goto124
2015-08-04, 07:43 AM
Aldori Swordlordlady

FTFY :smalltongue:

Yes, I am aware that it's probably a gender neutral title. Just making a joke.


she found ways to be a prolific womaniser without violating her paladin's code (which says nothing about celibacy)

Why... why would being an womanizer break a paladin's code that doesn't say anything about celibacy (heck, anything related to sexuality)? What does a paladin's code say anyway?

The last paragraph: I have a few characters who somehow managed to get into a relationship with another PC (there were unexpected twists). I can spend a lot of time on a romance plot, because there's no 'plot' or 'game' to follow in a freeform. I still face the problems of doing it justice though. Whenever romance comes up, things get pretty mushy and lovely-dovely, like a cheesy romance book written for teens. Being personally invested helps a bit, but still... I prefer romance when it's a side dish to something else, such as action and/or comedy. And I find that it's less romance that I'm interested in, but sexuality.

What do you people think is the difference between 'boyfriends/girlfriends' and 'best friends with benefits'?

Nifft
2015-08-04, 08:28 AM
What do you people think is the difference between 'boyfriends/girlfriends' and 'best friends with benefits'?

The feeling of ownership?

Frozen_Feet
2015-08-04, 08:54 AM
Typically, when you find a new lover, your best friend will go "congratulations, lucky you!" while your significant other will go "you cheating offspring-of-a-whore!"

goto124
2015-08-04, 09:41 AM
Ahahahahahahaha :smallbiggrin:

I see what was meant by 'ownership', which could mean sexual jealousy.

I play 2 PCs who are part of a polyamorus relationship. I suppose it goes from 'best friends with benefits' to 'bf/gf' when the couple* has long-term plans such as marriage and raising a family?

* or triple, or quadraple, or any set of romantically-linked partners

golentan
2015-08-04, 12:02 PM
Ahahahahahahaha :smallbiggrin:

I see what was meant by 'ownership', which could mean sexual jealousy.

I play 2 PCs who are part of a polyamorus relationship. I suppose it goes from 'best friends with benefits' to 'bf/gf' when the couple* has long-term plans such as marriage and raising a family?

* or triple, or quadraple, or any set of romantically-linked partners

Emotional closeness would seem to be it for me.

Friends with benefits arrangements I've seen, nobody has ever suggested moving in together, raising a child together, or anything else. Folks who were already in the same household (roommates who wind up sleeping together) usually keep living together, but even if they move out, they keep sleeping together... It's about sex, the friendship is separate.

Boyfriends/Girlfriends/Genderfriends in General, i'd say, it seems like it's about closeness. Friends with benefits keep their own rooms, genderfriends usually wind up sharing a bed sooner or later on a permanent basis, whether or not anything sexy is going on that particular night. Cuddling outside of sex is a thing. You maybe wind up getting a bit more honest with a Lover than a Sex Partner, about your history, your feelings, your dreams. Genderfriends might get married, might have a baby together... Might wind up (in a partnership with an Ace partner) doing some or all of this without ever having sex, whereas friends-with-benefits it's pretty clearly referencing sex. The poly folks I know, well, some of them claim to have a number of romantic relationships but have maybe one genderfriend and a bunch of sex partners, while some of them have a bunch of genderfriends and just have to work out the logistics of "Welp, you won't all fit on the bed, so we need to find another way to do closeness that way."

goto124
2015-08-04, 09:47 PM
Does the distinction matter as much in authored fiction? Roleplay in RPGs? My head hurts trying to classify the relationship between my 2 PCs (let's call them A and N) into 'friends with benefits' or 'genderfriends'.

A and N have no long-term plans. Heck, neither A nor N as individuals have any long-term plans. They do cuddle and kiss when adventuring, and make plenty of lewd jokes at each other. They don't call each other 'dear' or 'honey', and avoid outright romance because they find it cheesy. And yes, they do 'it'. They also don't care if a partner goes off and does 'it' with someone else. Open relationship maybe?

A and N are pretty much promiscuous people. They're (at least) best friends, so they get many opportunities to bed each other. They're more sexually attracted to each other than to other people.

I imagine A and N sleep together even when not doing 'things', but that's more of best friend closeness + OOC narrative convienance since I play both chars.

I'll say A and N's relationship is what happens when a romantic relationship (which would've wound up as a genderfriend relationship IRL) is set in a fictional world with very different norms from real life.

golentan
2015-08-04, 10:05 PM
Does the distinction matter as much in authored fiction? Roleplay in RPGs? My head hurts trying to classify the relationship between my 2 PCs (let's call them A and N) into 'friends with benefits' or 'genderfriends'.

A and N have no long-term plans. Heck, neither A nor N as individuals have any long-term plans. They do cuddle and kiss when adventuring, and make plenty of lewd jokes at each other. They don't call each other 'dear' or 'honey', and avoid outright romance because they find it cheesy. And yes, they do 'it'. They also don't care if a partner goes off and does 'it' with someone else. Open relationship maybe?

Now that I think about it, A and N are pretty much promiscuous people. They're best friends, so they get many opportunities to bed each other. They're more sexually attracted to each other than to other people, and that's about it.

Do they not have long term plans because they're adventurers and not sure they'll be alive next year, or not have plans because they're expecting to move on from the relationship? Do they like being close in a way that they don't with other companions? Like, "Romance" doesn't have to mean what most people think it does, loving someone doesn't necessitate poems and constantly saying it if you don't want...

Truthfully, it sounds like friends having sex to me, and not much more, but that's between them and their god(s). And the evil Lich King using divination to spy on them. And anyone watching from the ethereal plane.

Man, there are a lot of ways to be creepy in DnD.

goto124
2015-08-04, 10:12 PM
I just edited the last paragraph into my previous post.


Do they not have long term plans because they're adventurers and not sure they'll be alive next year, or not have plans because they're expecting to move on from the relationship? Do they like being close in a way that they don't with other companions? Like, "Romance" doesn't have to mean what most people think it does, loving someone doesn't necessitate poems and constantly saying it if you don't want...

Truthfully, it sounds like friends having sex to me, and not much more, but that's between them and their god(s). And the evil Lich King using divination to spy on them. And anyone watching from the ethereal plane.

Man, there are a lot of ways to be creepy in DnD.

They're adventurers, but they do expect to live forever (it's a forgiving world with easy ressurection). They're not expecting to move on either (OOC wise I won't let it happen, there isn't anyone else who can create the dynamics I want). They don't have long term plans because 'long-term plans? Are you crazy?'. Stuff like marriage and making a family are 'weird stuff that only NPCs do, we're not remotely interested'.

"Do they like being close in a way that they don't with other companions?" I... suppose so? They do have a connection, and at least sexually prefer each other :smalltongue:, even if they do go down on other people.

"Like, "Romance" doesn't have to mean what most people think it does, loving someone doesn't necessitate poems and constantly saying it if you don't want..."

That's what A and N feel xD Mostly because I find it too cheesy.


I doubt A and N would mind being watched :3

Hiro Protagonest
2015-08-05, 12:23 AM
Stuff like marriage and making a family are 'weird stuff that only NPCs do, we're not remotely interested'.

Then... they're teenagers.

Also meta and egotistical, if they think they're the PCs. ::smallamused:

goto124
2015-08-05, 01:45 AM
To be fair, they're from a video game world that doesn't exactly encourage family-making. Or mature thinking.

I need a bit of help giving a character reasons to not reproduce without said character coming off as immature. I just don't like my chars to get married.

Jthw
2015-08-05, 02:02 AM
I've had characters that range from being disgusted by the idea of having sex, to those where a more appropriate question would be "can I physically do it?" rather than would they want to, and many specifics in between.
Most PCs in my group don't decide it until it comes up (but with how my group is that's how most of our backstory is decided.)
We do also try to keep things realistic in that some npcs in the world and even some gods are flat out homophobic, but there are also many npcs that have diverse sexuality and even some gods that have very peculiar sexual preferences. The only in-game effects it has on our games is in npc reactions.

As for actually role-playing it, I don't feel it's much different from role playing any other sexual orientation. Just different people that you might be interested in.

Rater202
2015-08-05, 02:31 AM
I need a bit of help giving a character reasons to not reproduce without said character coming off as immature. I just don't like my chars to get married.

"I'm not responsible enough to take a wife or raise a kid."

Done!

ShadowFighter15
2015-08-05, 06:07 AM
Why... why would being an womanizer break a paladin's code that doesn't say anything about celibacy (heck, anything related to sexuality)? What does a paladin's code say anyway?

I've often seen womanising as containing some elements of deception, leading the woman on for example. Or letting each of them think they're the only one when you're actually seeing two or three at a time. I'll be honest; I had those more negative aspects of it in mind more when I designed the character and brought attention to it mainly to head off people thinking of those less-acceptable aspects of it.

Besides; how often do you expect to see a paladin cruising the bars to pick up chicks? ... okay; excluding people like Sam Axe - compared to everyone else in Burn Notice, he practically is a paladin.:smalltongue:

Amphetryon
2015-08-05, 06:40 AM
I've often seen womanising as containing some elements of deception, leading the woman on for example. Or letting each of them think they're the only one when you're actually seeing two or three at a time. I'll be honest; I had those more negative aspects of it in mind more when I designed the character and brought attention to it mainly to head off people thinking of those less-acceptable aspects of it.

Besides; how often do you expect to see a paladin cruising the bars to pick up chicks? ... okay; excluding people like Sam Axe - compared to everyone else in Burn Notice, he practically is a paladin.:smalltongue:

1. Are Paladins forbidden by the Code from using the Bluff Skill, in your games? For example, can Paladins Feint in combat? If 'some elements of deception' are disallowed by the Code, after all. . . .

1a. If 'yes,' what do you feel adding this extra restriction to the Paladin brings to the game, other than an additional complication in roleplaying a Paladin who doesn't actually fall?

1b. If 'no,' could you clarify why this particular 'element of deception' is outside the bounds of a Paladin's allowable behavior, while other elements of deception are acceptable?

2. Are Paladins required by the Code to be monogamous, chaste, or celibate, in your games?

golentan
2015-08-05, 09:08 AM
I've often seen womanising as containing some elements of deception, leading the woman on for example. Or letting each of them think they're the only one when you're actually seeing two or three at a time. I'll be honest; I had those more negative aspects of it in mind more when I designed the character and brought attention to it mainly to head off people thinking of those less-acceptable aspects of it.

Besides; how often do you expect to see a paladin cruising the bars to pick up chicks? ... okay; excluding people like Sam Axe - compared to everyone else in Burn Notice, he practically is a paladin.:smalltongue:

"I think you're very attractive, I am literally sent by god to save the world, [in game equivalent of] I have 16 charisma and high physical stats, look how sexy I am, and as part of that whole mission from god thing I am immune to disease and have a literal magic touch that'll make you feel good."

I can see how paladins TOTALLY would need to lie or exaggerate to wind up sleeping with someone.

And remember. Even if they strike out 9/10 times, if they hit on 10 people of their gender preference at the tavern you're meeting at they have a better than 2/3 shot of spending the night with someone.

goto124
2015-08-05, 12:34 PM
When I googled 'promiscuity', I got 'immorality' as part of the dictionary definition. Says something about convention I suppose.

YossarianLives
2015-08-05, 12:40 PM
They're adventurers, but they do expect to live forever (it's a forgiving world with easy ressurection).
Not really. You can't be resurrected when you die of old-age and (most) adventures don't become liches or other forms of intelligent undead.

golentan
2015-08-05, 12:43 PM
Eh... Promiscuity is often associated with immoral people, because immoral people out for number 1 are more likely to pursue a lot of sex unethically.

But, for folks who are moral, and carry their morals to the bedroom, it's not bad if they also want a lot of sex. Like, monogamy is not for everyone. Neither is polyamory. I like me my monogamy, but my friend is off posting on their facebook wall about their happy trio dating a possible fourth, so good on them? Whereas anyone who was on Ashley Maddison I'm just gonna sit back and laugh.

kkplx
2015-08-06, 03:06 PM
As a DM, sometimes different orientations happen when I RP an NPC.

When I play, I play males that are hetero that don't make a big deal of it.

Yeah, pretty boring, I know.

Kiero
2015-08-06, 06:45 PM
When I'm a player: nope. I only play straight, human males, though sex and romance play little role in most of our games.

When I'm a GM: any time I feel it necessary to distinguish an NPCs sexuality. I have NPCs who run the entire gamut of sexual expression, at whatever level of openness is appropriate for the setting.

GoldfishBowl
2015-08-06, 11:05 PM
As a male I've played female and ungendered characters before, but sexual orientation has never come into play in my games. Folks tend to either be itching to fight hordes of monsters or concerned with other aspects of roleplay.

Which suits me fine. Some of my friends are unbearable enough around their own SO, I'd hate to see how they'd act with an imaginary one. Had to walk away from a game before it started once, when a timely phallic joke eventually evolved into the GM insisting everybody roll 3d4 for endowment. I had little faith things would look up from there.

Thisguy_
2015-08-07, 02:49 AM
I'm bisexual, but based on the settings I play in, I find that straight is the most likely orientation. As I tend to only bring in traits to a character which I deem unlikely if I find it makes the character more interesting or complete, I tend to play straight people almost exclusively. That said, I have a sad habit of deviating from male characters... I should make a relatively (loosely using that term, as she will, alongside this, be a badass) "normal" female as a character (i.e. a down-to-earth interpretation of a female human being/elf/halfling/what have you who has taken a "heroic" path with her life)...

Aww screw it, nobody is normal in D&D. I'll just make a character I find pleasing to play: Personality will be reasonable and badassery kept to a delightful rarity. Gotta love those characters that keep badass in a can for when their party needs it and pop the can open with their teeth when it's time to kick some ass.

EDIT: Oh right, the subject. Tend to play straight males, though I am personally bisexual, because it's less unusual for the setting.

Coidzor
2015-08-08, 06:52 PM
Why... why would being an womanizer break a paladin's code that doesn't say anything about celibacy (heck, anything related to sexuality)? What does a paladin's code say anyway?

While I'm more interested in the idea of how a woman can actually be a proper womanizer rather than merely a promiscuous lesbian, there's several ways a womanizer could womanize without doing anything fall-worthy.

I mean, if you ignore the rest of his job and discount the parts that are just straight up rape, James Bond's womanizing wouldn't really interact with the code at all.

Frozen_Feet
2015-08-08, 08:45 PM
I once made a Paladin / Sacred Prostitute because the classes have humorous synergy. :-P

gadren
2015-08-08, 09:09 PM
My wife is currently playing a gay man in our Spycraft game.

I'm still trying to convince the male players in the group that playing against your RL gender and/or sexuality is only weird if you make it weird (or I make it weird as DM/GM/Control/etc).

As a general policy though, romantic RP in my games typically is just described in a detached and "after the fact" manner. Like if your character wants to seduce someone, tell me the basic gist of what they do, make a couple roles, and I give you a summary of the results, and you can fill in a few holes from there (pun not intended) when your character returns to the "game spotlight".

I've never felt comfortable full-on roleplaying out a romantic encounter in a tabletop RPG, regardless of the players' or characters' genders or sexualities. It just seems like an awkward thing to do seriously while like five other people watch.

goto124
2015-08-09, 02:03 AM
how a woman can actually be a proper womanizer rather than merely a promiscuous lesbian

... I have no idea what a 'proper womanizer' is.

Why is it easier for a man than an woman?


It just seems like an awkward thing to do seriously while like five other people watch.

I suppose that it's easier in solo campaigns, and/or in online platforms (e.g. play-by-post). Much of the awkwardness is taken away when you don't feel like you're being 'watched'.

gadren
2015-08-09, 02:06 AM
... I have no idea what a 'proper womanizer' is.
I'm guessing someone who is praised for their womanizing instead of shamed for it.


Why is it easier for a man than an woman?
Male privilege.

Sith_Happens
2015-08-09, 03:06 AM
I'm guessing someone who is praised for their womanizing instead of shamed for it.

I have literally never heard the word "womanizer" used with a remotely positive connotation. Matter of fact, the single most common adjective it gets it "notorious."

Steampunkette
2015-08-09, 03:14 AM
Oh, sure. But I'm sure you've heard Player. Or Ladies Man. Or one of a dozen local variants that mean "Dude who has lots of sex with different people" with a generally positive connotation.

Womanizer is just the negative version of the same, constantly fighting for equal footing in culture while positive connotations abound.

Sith_Happens
2015-08-09, 03:47 AM
Oh, sure. But I'm sure you've heard Player. Or Ladies Man. Or one of a dozen local variants that mean "Dude who has lots of sex with different people" with a generally positive connotation.

Womanizer is just the negative version of the same, constantly fighting for equal footing in culture while positive connotations abound.

I think Coidzor meant the latter in such a way as to not be interchangeable with any of the former, but I'm not sure.

Steampunkette
2015-08-09, 04:07 AM
Well... now I have a new forum handle for the next flrum I sign up fooooor!

BWR
2015-08-09, 10:04 AM
"Dude who has lots of sex with different people" with a generally positive connotation.

Slight tangent: You know, I hear about this stereotype all over the place online or in fiction but I've never actually encountered it in real life. Not that my gang ever talked much about it but the general feeling I get from them is that guys like that are a bit...slutty and mean. Or at least overly carefree and impolite regarding other people.
Or maybe it's just my own impressions coloring things.

ShadowFighter15
2015-08-11, 08:07 AM
Honestly; I just used the term 'womanising' because it was first thing that came to mind that was one word and got the point across.


1. Are Paladins forbidden by the Code from using the Bluff Skill, in your games? For example, can Paladins Feint in combat? If 'some elements of deception' are disallowed by the Code, after all. . . .

1a. If 'yes,' what do you feel adding this extra restriction to the Paladin brings to the game, other than an additional complication in roleplaying a Paladin who doesn't actually fall?

1b. If 'no,' could you clarify why this particular 'element of deception' is outside the bounds of a Paladin's allowable behavior, while other elements of deception are acceptable?

2. Are Paladins required by the Code to be monogamous, chaste, or celibate, in your games?
1. I usually just play it safe and assume the only form of deception they can engage in is Feints. Whether the GM's more flexible on that point or not, this particular paladin would rather not push it if she can avoid it. She can probably get away with more than she thinks, but she's not willing to take the risk as being a paladin means a hell of a lot to her.
2. Well the only time I've played a Paladin has been in Pathfinder games set in Golarion and they're a bit vague on that particular subject. I think a couple of the paladin entries in one smaller sourcebook about the Good deities mentioned a couple of gods who have their own opinions on relationships (ie: Erastil's very... old-fashioned, you might say - also comes with a small amount of "women should stay in the kitchen" attitude, but I wouldn't be surprised if that was old fluff Paizo's trying to phase out), but most entries were entirely silent on the subject. Either way; I remember James Jacobs (Paizo's creative director) saying that the character would've been fine in his games, so take that for what you will.


"I think you're very attractive, I am literally sent by god to save the world, [in game equivalent of] I have 16 charisma and high physical stats, look how sexy I am, and as part of that whole mission from god thing I am immune to disease and have a literal magic touch that'll make you feel good."

I can see how paladins TOTALLY would need to lie or exaggerate to wind up sleeping with someone.

And remember. Even if they strike out 9/10 times, if they hit on 10 people of their gender preference at the tavern you're meeting at they have a better than 2/3 shot of spending the night with someone.

True, there is an element of the "shotgun approach" to Luciana's methods. Although backed up with a narrow choke - she waits to see who's checking her out before moving in, mainly to save wasting her time on someone who's straight and just looking at the resident tiefling (yeah; I was trying to go all-out on the "un-paladin-like paladin" character concept, just to see if I could still play it straight without devolving into parody - probably helps that there's not much time for flirting during the first part of Wrath of the Righteous). I don't imagine her ever having been that blunt about it, though. I think the most overt she'd have been would be implying the benefits of her having a prehensile tail.:smallwink:

... what? That Fiendish Sorcery racial trait wasn't gonna be getting any mileage and there aren't any other options for replacing it. (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/races/other-races/featured-races/arg-tiefling)

Amphetryon
2015-08-11, 08:44 AM
Honestly; I just used the term 'womanising' because it was first thing that came to mind that was one word and got the point across.


1. I usually just play it safe and assume the only form of deception they can engage in is Feints. Whether the GM's more flexible on that point or not, this particular paladin would rather not push it if she can avoid it. She can probably get away with more than she thinks, but she's not willing to take the risk as being a paladin means a hell of a lot to her.
2. Well the only time I've played a Paladin has been in Pathfinder games set in Golarion and they're a bit vague on that particular subject. I think a couple of the paladin entries in one smaller sourcebook about the Good deities mentioned a couple of gods who have their own opinions on relationships (ie: Erastil's very... old-fashioned, you might say - also comes with a small amount of "women should stay in the kitchen" attitude, but I wouldn't be surprised if that was old fluff Paizo's trying to phase out), but most entries were entirely silent on the subject. Either way; I remember James Jacobs (Paizo's creative director) saying that the character would've been fine in his games, so take that for what you will.

Without treading too heavily on 'you got history in my fantasy' territory, I'll just posit that you're defining "old-fashioned" based on a fairly narrow band of history.

goto124
2015-08-11, 09:06 AM
Poster did use an ellipis, and mentioned "you might say". He'd meant values dissonance, not any direct reference to history.

Amphetryon
2015-08-11, 09:59 AM
Poster did use an ellipis, and mentioned "you might say". He'd meant values dissonance, not any direct reference to history.

I'm not arguing, or addressing, that point at all.

Diamondeye
2015-08-11, 09:49 PM
Oh, sure. But I'm sure you've heard Player. Or Ladies Man. Or one of a dozen local variants that mean "Dude who has lots of sex with different people" with a generally positive connotation.

Womanizer is just the negative version of the same, constantly fighting for equal footing in culture while positive connotations abound.

Neither Player nor Ladies Man has a positive connotation. They're just more subtle negative terms than Womanizer. The first 2 terms carry connotations of a male who is on the lookout for willing women without regard for whether it's a good idea in any given instance. A womanizer carries connotiations of skirting the edges of consent.

No equivalent term for women exists because, despite reliable CDC statistics on the matter, we still pretend women are never sexually aggressive or assaultive.

Balmas
2015-08-12, 04:48 AM
Regarding the original question: yes. Most of the time, my characters' sexuality doesn't usually come into play, but I usually know where a character falls on the scale. Dive Bomb is aro, Reggie the paladin of Olidamarra is pan, Gabriel is straight, Bato is bi. I haven't played as Slick Talk enough to get a feel for her, but she's leaning towards homosexual in my mind.

Coidzor
2015-08-13, 09:35 PM
Well... now I have a new forum handle for the next flrum I sign up fooooor!

SteamWomanizer?

ShadowFighter15
2015-08-16, 06:32 AM
Without treading too heavily on 'you got history in my fantasy' territory, I'll just posit that you're defining "old-fashioned" based on a fairly narrow band of history.

Again; first phrase I thought of that got the rough point across. That being said, putting that in quotation marks probably would've helped.

tgva8889
2015-08-17, 08:23 AM
I don't know that I've played a character with the same sexual orientation I myself identify with. Partially because I only partially understand what I identify as. Sexual orientation has been a weird question for me for a long time.