If I ever become a UC Gundam character...

[Marlowe]

-If I am a pilot, I will resist the urge to leave my Mobile Suit in the middle of combat even if I did just see a cute girl.

-If I am a suit designer, I will design all my suits with room for a spare pilot, so that when the protagonists inevitably leave their Suits to chase mentally-damaged tail we have someone available to hi-jack their rides.

-I will remember that no matter how dangerous being a pilot is, it's still probably safer than being ship crew or a civilian.

-I will also remember that ship gunners never hit anything unless the gunner in question is a hastily-drafted teenage girl. Crew assignments will be made with this in mind.

-If I am a woman, I will not fall in love. That just gets me killed.

-If I am a man, I will only fall in love with people on the other side. That will get them killed.

-I will remember that blonde men that aren't Johnny Ridden should be shot on sight.

-I will remember that blonde woman are fine unless they happen to be Katejina Loos.

-If I am a Fed, I will pay very close attention to my immediate superior's uniform. If he wears the tunic with the belted waist, he will probably be heroic or at least a decent guy. If he wears the full-length jacket and he isn't actually General Revil I will frag him at the first opportunity.

-Also if I am a Fed, I will remember that our efforts are only rewarded with victory when we base our offensive upon a mismatched group of semi-trained quarreling kids with untested equipment. Relying on our supposed professionals just gets you a screaming mass of crippling dysfunctions and Zeta Gundam.

-If I am a Zeon, I will watch my superior officer carefully for signs of homicidal insanity. If at all possible I will try to get myself assigned to a female superior, as most high-ranking Zeon woman seem to be at least sane and competent. There don't appear to be enough high-ranking women in any other faction to grade this trend on a curve.

-Also if I am a Zeon, if I see a bunch of Feddie prisoners attempting to kill each other in their cell, I will leave them to it.

-If I am a Titan, I will defect as soon as possible.

-If I am a Zanscare, there's plainly nothing that can be done.

[danzibr]

Hilarious.

Makes me want to (re)watch me some Gundam.

[Nerd-o-rama]

-In the middle of a battle, I will not forget to fight.

-If I am female, psychic, or especially both, I will not go anywhere near any Mobile Armor larger than a Core Booster.

-Actually, that one applies to every Gundam

-If I am a Zeke, I will be sure to muss my hair, grow out some stubble, and generally look as un-pretty as possible. Unless I'm Char, I'll last longer.

[Jeran Korak]

- If I am the captain of a battleship, I will remember to ensure that all mobile suits in my hanger deck are (A): Fully disarmed during maintenance, and (B): Require an authorization code transmitted directly from the captain's chair in order to power up or begin moving. Any attempt to circumvent these safeguards will immediately lock down the hanger deck and sound a general alarm throughout the entire ship.

- If I am a high-ranking member of any organisation in opposition to the Earth Federation and I have under my command a prominent ace pilot who insists on wearing a mask to conceal his identity, I will make up an excuse to have his DNA tested at the earliest opportunity to confirm that he is not secretly the son of the person I bumped off to attain my current position.

- If the main candidate to pilot our newest model of high-performance mobile armors equipped with weapons that can casually devastate entire fleets is a teenage girl of any description, the project is to be immediately scrapped and the designers sternly reprimanded.

[Nerd-o-rama]

- If I am the captain of a battleship, I will remember to ensure that all mobile suits in my hanger deck are (A): Fully disarmed during maintenance, and (B): Require an authorization code transmitted directly from the captain's chair in order to power up or begin moving. Any attempt to circumvent these safeguards will immediately lock down the hanger deck and sound a general alarm throughout the entire ship.

- If I am a high-ranking member of any organisation in opposition to the Earth Federation and I have under my command a prominent ace pilot who insists on wearing a mask to conceal his identity, I will make up an excuse to have his DNA tested at the earliest opportunity to confirm that he is not secretly the son of the person I bumped off to attain my current position.

- If the main candidate to pilot our newest model of high-performance mobile armors equipped with weapons that can casually devastate entire fleets is a teenage girl of any description, the project is to be immediately scrapped and the designers sternly reprimanded.

What about ingenuous twenty-something women? Feds only?

[Jeran Korak]

The competent 20-somethings are okay. However, were I in charge of a UC navy, it would be a standing order that they and any potential or confirmed love interests who are not explicitly serving aboard the same ship are assigned to entirely separate theaters of war. It's just much kinder that way.

[Marlowe]

-Actually, I will not allow people in my faction to wear masks. Period.

-While subordinates should be given their positions primarily on the basis of competence, I will remember that political reliability or at least an disinclination to openly betray me via anti-ship missile to the head does count for something.

-I will note that irrespective of gender, redheads that aren't Reccoa "Catch the soap" Londe are generally the most competent soldiers. Those on my side shall be treated accordingly, those on the other side shall be identified and given every incentive to defect.

-If I discover that one of my subordinates is cloning a private army of underage genetically-engineered supersoldiers in his basement, I will make it a priority to see that these frankenstein creations receive good homes, upbringing and education. The subordinate in question shall be made my personal Aide-de-camp so as I can keep an eye on him until I can arrange a suitably deniable "tragic accident".

-How many of these could be change to "I will kill Char at the first opportunity?"

[Berserk Mecha]

Given the choice, I will ensure that my mobile suit is a prototype as opposed to a mass-produced model regardless of the fact that the latter is more likely to have the kinks ironed out. This will increase my survivability. Customized versions of mass-produced models with horns and fins stuck on the head are an acceptable substitute.

[Nerd-o-rama]

-How many of these could be change to "I will kill Char at the first opportunity?"

But then who will kill the Gundam?

......well, okay, then who will kill hundreds of nameless enemy mooks without breaking a sweat or taking a scratch and then completely fail to kill anyone with a name?