View Full Version : Words of Wisdom

2007-05-03, 09:39 AM
Never use Irresistable Dance on a Dervish.

2007-05-03, 10:28 AM
never challenge Thor to armwrestling.

Fax Celestis
2007-05-03, 10:31 AM
Never go ahead with the plan when the DM starts laughing maniacally.

2007-05-03, 10:33 AM
Always pull levers!

...Wisdom is my dump-stat.

Zeta Kai
2007-05-03, 10:35 AM
Always go ahead with the plan when the DM starts crying (just be prepared for the petty revenge "adventure" later).

2007-05-03, 10:40 AM
(Sounds kind of like the things I'm not allowed to do while gaming.)

There's no problem that a 10-foot pole can't solve.

2007-05-03, 10:44 AM
Never attack the darkness

Rock Roller
2007-05-03, 10:47 AM
Never make like the Scooby gang and split up.

When you do make like the Scooby gang and split up, don't send the wizard off alone.

When you do both of these things, make sure that the wizard isn't the one carrying the clerics raise dead diamonds.

2007-05-03, 10:49 AM
Fire is the answer to everything.

2007-05-03, 10:50 AM
Never trust a new NPC who has a name

2007-05-03, 10:52 AM
The hot female NPC that is interested in you... she's not a Succubus! Go head and follow her lead! It will be totally worth it!

2007-05-03, 10:56 AM
Never guess that the DMPC is the BBEG, you're always wrong and you always regret it later.

Zeta Kai
2007-05-03, 11:03 AM
The DM should never leave the table unless they bring their notes.

Tor the Fallen
2007-05-03, 11:04 AM
Does it burn? is always a good question to ask about items/buildings/NPCs

2007-05-03, 11:34 AM
Upon getting a bag of holding, your next trip to town should be to buy 10 of every mundane item in the equipment list of the PHB! You can never have enough rope, chalk, waterskins, 10ft poles, candles, or dry rations!

2007-05-03, 11:41 AM
If the DM has a random table for everything but only rolls on it if people ask.

Don't ask.

2007-05-03, 11:48 AM
Never make a bet with a Sicilian when death is on the line.

2007-05-03, 12:01 PM
Never wage a land war in Asia.

2007-05-03, 12:01 PM
Never fully trust your employer/leader/guy who gives you quests

Thexare Blademoon
2007-05-03, 12:23 PM
When the DM says "... what?!", it's not a cue to repeat what you said. It's a cue to rethink what you said.

2007-05-03, 12:30 PM
"If you see a stranger...folllow him!"
(thanks, Edward!)

2007-05-03, 12:59 PM
Never wage a land war in Asia.

And never march on Moscow

2007-05-03, 01:03 PM
Never take the figure in the hooded cloak's word for it. It is less painful in the long run to sneak up on them at the outset and jerk the hood back, and sort out whether it's a beautiful princess, a bard, the BBEG, or all three.

Shhalahr Windrider
2007-05-03, 01:05 PM
Monkey Grip does not work that way.

brian c
2007-05-03, 01:12 PM
And never march on Moscow

Don't invade Russia in the winter! Even if you think you're bad-ass enough, just don't! Wait until summer if you absolutely have to

2007-05-03, 01:14 PM
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever anger a high level spellcaster, unless you are one yourself.

Shhalahr Windrider
2007-05-03, 01:19 PM
Never interrupt the DM when his NPC is monologing.

Never make a bet with a Sicilian when death is on the line.
Vizzini—he likes to fuss.

Fax Celestis
2007-05-03, 01:25 PM
Never interrupt the DM when his NPC is monologing.

...unless it is with strategic implementations of create water.

2007-05-03, 05:03 PM
Never wish for anything selfish...

2007-05-03, 05:12 PM
The dragon will only wake up once you're carrying just enough treasure to be considered encumbered.

2007-05-03, 05:14 PM
Never wish for anything selfish...

And if you do, get a lawyer to create the wording of your wish.

2007-05-03, 05:22 PM
never be a min/maxed wizzard and give the dm your charecter sheet when you are saying how weak the monsters are:smallsmile:

2007-05-03, 05:22 PM
never be a min/maxed wizzard and give the dm your charecter sheet when you are saying how weak the monsters are:smallsmile:

2007-05-03, 05:27 PM
Never cast resurrection (or variations thereof) on equipment made from dragons unless you've made sure its not chromatic.

Tokiko Mima
2007-05-03, 05:33 PM
It's all fun and games until you botch your Tumble/Concentration check in the middle of a swarm of skeletons.

2007-05-03, 05:43 PM
Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Especially if you've already annoyed the DM.

Shhalahr Windrider
2007-05-03, 05:48 PM
Interrogating insane cultists never yields useful results.

2007-05-03, 06:32 PM
There is no such thing as a friendly old peddler.

2007-05-03, 06:35 PM
Don't question anything beneficial. It will suddenly become cursed.

Question everything beneficial. Chances are, they are cursed. :smallwink:

2007-05-03, 06:38 PM
If you go into a room that is full of nothing, look up.

2007-05-03, 06:38 PM
Don't consider using a Deck of Many Things. Ever.

Vizzini—he likes to fuss.I think he likes to scream, at us.

2007-05-03, 06:45 PM
Bad things only happen at night when there's no guard.

If you have a horse, don't forget it in the creepy dungeon door... again.

Zeta Kai
2007-05-03, 06:46 PM
If you've heard the word druid in the last 5 gaming sessions, don't let anyone "just go get some firewood."

2007-05-03, 09:20 PM
Don't tell people you are a necromancer.

Don't EVER kill somone's father, that person will mysteriously become very powerful very quickly.

Don't assume you can make the roll, even if you need a one to fail.

Having a greatsword as your back-up weapon is not a bad thing.

Don't attack the rust monster.

2007-05-03, 11:07 PM
Don't consider using a Deck of Many Things. Ever.

I think he likes to scream, at us.

I dunno, once, when playing with 9 or so PC's, the plan was to play a game of blackjack with the deck of many things. The having too many PC's problem would've solved itself quite nicely, with the remaining members being a little more powerful. But fortunately, my character broke a staff of the magi to kill a mini-boss, and left that campaign, cutting down on the party size.

Innis Cabal
2007-05-03, 11:15 PM
Epic is where gamers go to die

2007-05-04, 07:59 AM
20 level progressions are rarely ever useful, as most DMs won't play that far.

Don't disguise yourself as a prostitute to gather information.

Don't detect evil on everything, sometimes you don't want to know.

Detect evil on any named NPC, just to be sure.

Remember, even good characters can be enemies, so dont trust detect evil.

Mr. Moogle
2007-05-04, 08:51 AM
when looking for a job always avoid the tavern. (make the DM think of another plot hook)

2007-05-04, 09:03 AM
Don't become emotionally attached to your henchmen.

2007-05-04, 09:36 AM
Naming and roleplaying every single one of your followers is not a good idea.

2007-05-04, 03:18 PM
Family members, loved ones, devoted servants, favorite NPCs -- they're all liabilities. Wipe them out pre-emptively, before they get kidnapped or something.

Remember: If you care about nothing, then you can't be hurt.

2007-05-04, 10:49 PM
Interrogating insane cultists never yields useful results.
It does, however, yield amusing results.

Also, do not attempt to taunt anything with a higher CR than you.

2007-05-05, 02:08 AM
Don't steal the set pieces. Even if your DM just put 20 foot high adamantium doors in front of you and you've got Shrink Item prepared. DMs don't like that.


2007-05-05, 10:34 AM
never give the dragon the person your rescuing as the toll, it will turn out badly. Also never give a fellow party member as a toll to a dragon, it will turn out with dice lodged in your head.

2007-05-05, 10:47 AM
Let it be. :smallwink:

Lord Tataraus
2007-05-10, 11:04 AM
Let it be. :smallwink:

That is ingenious, I applaud you.

Don't attack the old traveler, they have an annoying knack to become gods/dragons.

2007-05-10, 12:53 PM
Never wish for anything selfish...

I'd say the opposite. If your wish is truely selfless, then it's open season for Wish to screw you over to try to accomplish it, since you clearly value others over yourself.

2007-05-10, 12:53 PM
If you see the named NPC ally running away... try and keep up!

2007-05-10, 12:59 PM
Never draw enemy fire! The people around you don't like it when you draw enemy fire.:smallfurious:

Oh, and about the 10 foot pole, better make it an 11 foot pole. (There are just some things you don't want to touch with a 10 foot pole):smalleek:

2007-05-10, 01:11 PM
coup de grace eveything you defeat, twice.

Mr the Geoff
2007-05-10, 01:19 PM
Never wish for anything selfish...

I find it easier to just never Wish, but then I have one of those DMs who will spend the 2 weeks of downtime before the next game thinking up the most ingenious way to screw you over.

And a couple from my current game (maybe these should be in the stupidity stories)

Never insult the 12th level Paladin in his own home...
...especially if his wife is a 15th level wizard who makes golems as a hobby.

It's never "just a cute little cat"

Nor is that "an innocent little girl"

oh but my number one piece of advice.

Never, ever, ever drop a d4 while barefoot

Human Paragon 3
2007-05-10, 01:24 PM
Interrogating insane cultists never yields useful results.


The DMNPC is (almost) never wrong.

2007-05-10, 02:20 PM
A locked door is a open invitation for a wrecked door

2007-05-10, 02:51 PM
Be careful when celebrating when the dice foil the GM's attempt to kill you. Keep such things in character, such as the wizard spontaneously breaking into song and dance. Taunting the GM is just asking for an angry Great Wyrm Force Dragon.

Smart players would be wise to keep a Wish in reserve to undo the stupid ones. No, I don't mean undo their mistakes.

While most problems can be solved with enough fire, the solution may not be the optimal one.

Ditto for water, earth, air, acid, or ectoplasm. This is why GM's hate high-level casters.

2007-05-10, 03:31 PM
White Raven Tactics is NEVER out of character.