Cool Dreamscarred Press fiction!

[Kaidinah]

I don't know if you guys have been keeping up, but Dreamscarred Press has been putting up a lot of fun Pathfinder fiction. It's got a Paladin broadening their world outlook with the help of a Harbinger, a goblin "hero", and even Elans looking for new recruits for their race.

I have been having a lot of fun reading them, and I wanted to see if we could get a discussion going? How about it guys?

For stories we've got:
Mourners (Complete):
Part 1: First Date (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-first-date/)
Part 2: Sleepover Arrangements (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-sleepover-arrangements/)
Part 3: Re-Introductions (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-re-introductions/)
Part 4: The Lich's Daughter (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-the-lichs-daughter/)
Part 5: Don't Forget to Write (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-dont-forget-to-write/)
Part 6: Maid & Knight (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-maid-knight/)
Part 7: Pirate & Prophetess (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-pirate-prophetess/)
Part 8: Party Crashers (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-party-crashers/)
Part 9: Truth of Dare (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-truth-or-dare/)
Part 10: Sharing is Caring (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-sharing-is-caring/)
Part 11: Night Off (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-night-off/)
Part 12: Indulgences (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-indulgences/)
Part 13: Exit Stage Left (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-exit-stage-left/)
Part 14: And Then, There's This Idiot (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-and-then-theres-this-idiot/)
Part 15: Heart-to-Heart (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-heart-to-heart/)
Part 16: Traitor's Roar (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-traitors-roar/).
Part 17: Babysitter (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-babysitter/)
Part 18: Family Reunion (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-family-reunion/)
Part 19: By Royal Decree (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-by-royal-decree/)
Part 20: Valhala (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-valhalla/)
Part 21: Fimbulwinter (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-fimbulwinter/)
Part 22: Ragnarok (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-ragnarok/)
Part 23 (End): Coronation (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-coronation/)

Mourners: Ashes to Ashes
Part 1: The Old Days (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-ashes-to-ashes-rainy-days/)
Part 2: Tactical Error (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-ashes-to-ashes-tactical-error/)

Kluk the Great Goblin Hero:
Part 1: Heroes Are Made Up Not Born (http://dreamscarred.com/heroes-are-made-up-not-born/)
Part 2: A Hero in Spite of Himself (http://dreamscarred.com/a-hero-in-spite-of-himself/)
Part 3: A Hero of the Times (http://dreamscarred.com/a-hero-of-the-times/)
Part 4: A Hero's Duty (http://dreamscarred.com/a-heros-duty/)
Part 5: The Call of the Hero (http://dreamscarred.com/kluk-the-call-of-the-hero/)
Part 6: A Hero of the People (http://dreamscarred.com/kluk-a-hero-of-the-people/)

A Fire So Pure
Part 1: A Pattern of Power (http://dreamscarred.com/a-fire-so-pure-part-1/)
Part 2: Buried Secrets (http://dreamscarred.com/a-fire-so-pure-part-2/)
Part 3: Cast in Shadow (http://dreamscarred.com/a-fire-so-pure-part-3/)

Orion's Belt
Part 1: Starlight, Star Bright (http://dreamscarred.com/psionics-augmented-starlight-star-bright/)
Part 2: The Lich's Apprentice (http://dreamscarred.com/psionics-augmented-the-lichs-apprentice/)
Part 3: Common Language (http://dreamscarred.com/psionics-augmented-common-language/)

Psionics Augmented
The Littlest Psion (http://dreamscarred.com/the-littlest-psion/)

Bloodforge
The Bells (http://dreamscarred.com/bloodforge-the-bells/)

Slime Bucket Inn and Tavern
The Sign of the Bucket (http://dreamscarred.com/the-sign-of-the-bucket/)

Black Powder Magic
Chapter 1 (http://dreamscarred.com/black-powder-magic-chapter-1/)

Steelforge
Carol of the Bells (http://dreamscarred.com/steelforge-carol-of-the-bells/)

Path of War: Expanded
Quid Nomen Mihi Est? (http://dreamscarred.com/path-of-war-expanded-quid-nomen-mihi-est/)

[Kaidinah]

I am a big fan of the way Anastasia has been developing in the Mourners stories. She started off as the kind of young paladin that would drive their group crazy, but now feels much more mature about the whole good and evil thing. I really wish I could point some players at this set of stories, as it really shows that good and evil are more than just team jersies.

[Lord_Gareth]

Oh cool, a discussion thread.

For those of you who don't know, I'm the author for the Mourners pieces, as well as the two Psionics Augmented and one Bloodforge ones. I'll be around to observe, answer questions, that sorta thing.

[Domochevsky]

Oh hey, I remember reading the Littlest Psion. That one was quite nice. Has positive energy and is cute, for what is overall a quite abstract thing. I wouldn't mind seeing more of that. :smallsmile:
In fact, I'm liking both Psionics Augmented stories for their positive energy and concepts. Quite different approaches from each other, too.

[wooper]

Out of those stories, I only read the Psionics Augmented stuff, but I really liked those.
Personally, those two stories did a lot to actually make me want to play a similar concept to the characters detailed in them when I didn't really have much interest before.
I am a little sad that I probably won't get to play The Littlest Psion though...

[Elricaltovilla]

I'm the author of the Kluk stories. I'll be keeping an eye on this thread too.

[Callin]

Kluk is love. That story is wonderful, and I cant wait for more.

[Dusk Eclipse]

Just throwing some guesses about the character classes in Mourners (assuming they are set in stone, which I think they are)

Aisling is definitely a Crimson Countess Harbinger
Duke could be anything martial but I think he might be a base Warder
Margrave seems to be a Dread, I'm not familiar with the class though and in the latest Mourner story he seemed to have access to a Collective so I'm not sure.
Sybil is probably a Vitalist, again I'm not really knowledgeable about that class so I can't be more specific.
Anastasia is a paladin, but that is also explicit stated.

Am I missing someone from the scum?

[Extra Anchovies]

Margrave seems to be a Dread, I'm not familiar with the class though and in the latest Mourner story he seemed to have access to a Collective so I'm not sure.

Anastasia is susceptible to fear when near Margrave in one of the stories, so you're probably right.

Also, Kluk is a Warlord.

Note, however, that most of the character's classes are left amibiguous so the writers don't have to stick to mechanically-represented game abilities (I've heard this from one of the writers; Jade, I think?). It's a perfectly valid writing strategy (and is used quite often in fiction based on games), but I thought it was worth pointing out.

[Dusk Eclipse]

Oh I understand that, I simply thought it would be fun to try and guess.

[Kaidinah]

I'm the author of the Kluk stories. I'll be keeping an eye on this thread too.Thank you for stopping by! I hope you don't mind my naming of the Kluk compilation. I couldn't find a source for the title of the overall story. There is always the edit button in case there was one and I missed it.


Oh cool, a discussion thread.

For those of you who don't know, I'm the author for the Mourners pieces, as well as the two Psionics Augmented and one Bloodforge ones. I'll be around to observe, answer questions, that sorta thing.Two devs in one thread! Sweet! Thanks for stopping by.


Out of those stories, I only read the Psionics Augmented stuff, but I really liked those.
Personally, those two stories did a lot to actually make me want to play a similar concept to the characters detailed in them when I didn't really have much interest before.
I am a little sad that I probably won't get to play The Littlest Psion though...I think they two Psionics Augmented stories were really cute too. I never expected myself to like any Drow character, but Lord_Gareth has made me like two! It feels blasphemous.

Maybe if we beat up the devs enough we can get a race Revise's in a future product?

[Elricaltovilla]

Note, however, that most of the character's classes are left amibiguous so the writers don't have to stick to mechanically-represented game abilities (I've heard this from one of the writers; Jade, I think?). It's a perfectly valid writing strategy (and is used quite often in fiction based on games), but I thought it was worth pointing out.

Kluk is very solidly a warlord with a focus on Piercing Thunder. I do keep his maneuver and gambit lists fluid though otherwise it restricts the action of the story a bit too much. I could probably stat him out pretty easily if I wanted. Heck, I'd be interested in seeing how you guys would stat him.


Thank you for stopping by! I hope you don't mind my naming of the Kluk compilation. I couldn't find a source for the title of the overall story. There is always the edit button in case there was one and I missed it.


The compilation name is fine, I never did settle on one for it myself. Mostly I just referred to it by "The Kluk Stories."

[Kaidinah]

Kluk is very solidly a warlord with a focus on Piercing Thunder. I do keep his maneuver and gambit lists fluid though otherwise it restricts the action of the story a bit too much. I could probably stat him out pretty easily if I wanted. Heck, I'd be interested in seeing how you guys would stat him.>Focuses on Piercing Thunder
>GM gives him plot sword
How true to life.

[Elricaltovilla]

Kluk is the world's unluckiest goblintm. I'm curious about how well you all like the humor of the Kluk stories, since I'm apparently not very funny in real life.

[Unbodied]

These are all very nice. Like the poetry from the giantess.

[grishnax]

I just read through all of Mourners, and man, it's really good. Although there isn't much description about the locations the scenes take place in, it's made up for (and possibly made better because of) the characters. The characters Lord_Gareth has crafted are dynamic and exciting, and they all have a layer of depth that we've only seen parts of. I'd love to see more about the backstory of Anastasia and more about Margrave in general. Currently, I think that the most well-developed character is Aisling. It's really cool to see more about her revealed as the story goes on, as well as her evolution as a person from the start of the stories to where we currently are. I'd like to see some of that depth in other characters, notably Anastasia. There's a lot we don't know, but that suspense will keep us wanting to read the next chapter. Great work so far, keep it up!

[Dusk Eclipse]

>Focuses on Piercing Thunder
>GM gives him plot sword
How true to life.


Kluk is the world's unluckiest goblintm. I'm curious about how well you all like the humor of the Kluk stories, since I'm apparently not very funny in real life.

Weapon Group Adaptation is a thing guys :smalltongue: and imaging the outrage of the sword if Kluk decided to wield it as a polearm :smallbiggrin:


Kluk is very solidly a warlord with a focus on Piercing Thunder. I do keep his maneuver and gambit lists fluid though otherwise it restricts the action of the story a bit too much. I could probably stat him out pretty easily if I wanted. Heck, I'd be interested in seeing how you guys would stat him.

The compilation name is fine, I never did settle on one for it myself. Mostly I just referred to it by "The Kluk Stories."

I might take a stab at it, I'm assuming he is supposed to be low level for now, right? Around level 3-4?


I just read through all of Mourners, and man, it's really good. Although there isn't much description about the locations the scenes take place in, it's made up for (and possibly made better because of) the characters. The characters Lord_Gareth has crafted are dynamic and exciting, and they all have a layer of depth that we've only seen parts of. I'd love to see more about the backstory of Anastasia and more about Margrave in general. Currently, I think that the most well-developed character is Aisling. It's really cool to see more about her revealed as the story goes on, as well as her evolution as a person from the start of the stories to where we currently are. I'd like to see some of that depth in other characters, notably Anastasia. There's a lot we don't know, but that suspense will keep us wanting to read the next chapter. Great work so far, keep it up!

I personally think that while Anastasia is the PoV character (for the most part) the real protagonist of the Mourners is Aisling, and I love that.

[Elricaltovilla]

It's tough to set a level for Kluk because he's really good at rolling crits. He's probably no more than 5th level.

[Dusk Eclipse]

Perfect, that gives me an excuse to take a closer look at the warlord. :smallbiggrin:

[Lord_Gareth]

I personally think that while Anastasia is the PoV character (for the most part) the real protagonist of the Mourners is Aisling, and I love that.

In a way, it's both of them. The story revolves around the pair, the events that bring them together and what meeting each other means to their growth as people. There isn't one without the other.

[Kaidinah]

We actually got a new update of Mourners tonight! I have updated the opening post with a link to it. The ending was a big shock to me!

[Unbodied]

We actually got a new update of Mourners tonight! I have updated the opening post with a link to it. The ending was a big shock to me!
Plot Twist!

[Nyaa]

May I offer technical insight?

Make a tag or category for each story. When user reads Mourners and clicks Next, he expects next story in Mourners, not Kluk story that was chronologically published between them.

Put next/previous buttons below content, not (or in addition to) above it.

Consider a separate template for fiction. That's what I use for reading huge blocks of text.



*{background:#dde!important;font-size:24px!important;color:black;line-height:1.3em;text-align:justify}
.fusion-sticky-menu,.fusion-sticky-shadow,#sidebar{display:none!important;}
#content{float:none!important;width:35em;margin:0 auto;font-family:verdana}

[Kaidinah]

Plot Twist!I have a great interest in seeing how Ana resolves this plot twist. Also Aisling's immediate reaction to it was hilarious!

[Lord_Gareth]

And then, we updated (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-and-then-theres-this-idiot/).

[Kaidinah]

Kluk is the world's unluckiest goblintm. I'm curious about how well you all like the humor of the Kluk stories, since I'm apparently not very funny in real life.I am loving the humor actually. Are you sure you aren't funny?

And then, we updated (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-and-then-theres-this-idiot/).
Updated the opening post. I am glad that plot line is done with. It was hilarious while it lasted and we got a good ending from it.

[PsyBomb]

Loved Contessa's fighting style, there. Been on both sides of it, too.

[Elricaltovilla]

I am loving the humor actually. Are you sure you aren't funny?



I think I'm hilarious, but I've spent most of my life being the "serious" sibling. Such is the lot of the big brother I suppose.

[Endartheender]

I think I'm hilarious, but I've spent most of my life being the "serious" sibling. Such is the lot of the big brother I suppose.

He's funny until you look him in the eyes, then its madness.

[Kaidinah]

I think I'm hilarious, but I've spent most of my life being the "serious" sibling. Such is the lot of the big brother I suppose.But when the serious character makes a joke, its always the best joke in the movie/episode.

[Swaoeaeieu]

And then, we updated (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-and-then-theres-this-idiot/).

i know you writers don´t stat the characters to give yourself some wiggle room, but i am not fammiliar with all dsp material. could you give me a direction for Contessa?

[Kaidinah]

i know you writers don´t stat the characters to give yourself some wiggle room, but i am not fammiliar with all dsp material. could you give me a direction for Contessa?She sounds like a grammaton archetype of the cryptic class. They have 6 levels of manifesting so she should be able to manifest the psionic haste equivalent.

[Lord_Gareth]

Contessa is a Grammaton with some crafting feats.

And this is a new short: The Sign of the Bucket (http://dreamscarred.com/the-sign-of-the-bucket/).

[ghanjrho]

"Seriously Dad, what the Hell"

I didn't know I needed this in my life until now.

Half-White Dragon
Decataur
Nagaji
And I'm not sure about Gem Head.

But I think I found my next party theme.

[Unbodied]

I didn't know I needed this in my life until now.

Half-White Dragon
Decataur
Nagaji
And I'm not sure about Gem Head.

But I think I found my next party theme.
That is one busy Elf.

[Lord_Gareth]

I didn't know I needed this in my life until now.

Half-White Dragon
Decataur
Nagaji
And I'm not sure about Gem Head.

But I think I found my next party theme.

Almost!

Half-White Dragon
Decataur
Sthein
Alicorn

[T.G. Oskar]

Good to see some more fiction where the Paladin MC/SC isn't a complete moron. Pretty light read, as well. Could do well to make character stats as "approximations" while still keeping the broad strokes approach to the story - I'm not exactly well-versed in DSP material, and I recognized just about every class used except that of Duke and Contessa (I swore the latter was a Marksman of sorts, though the penchant for crafting should have given me an idea).

Curious to see the interaction between the Count and Margrave - both are idiots, except one is also a snot and the other is a sadist that doesn't know restraints. The shock of having a paladin kneeling in fear and surrendering would have been a nice touch from Margrave to Ana, considering he offended her quite a bit (then again, I feel that Aisling sorta cheated at the moment - Aisling is known for being driven by rage, and Ana's reaction to Margrave's fear-based manipulation could seem like Aisling intervened on her behalf).

The bit about Aisling's sister, Kestrel...could see some more development there. The chapter came out of nowhere, and only later you see the connections to the story, but there's no buildup or anything - just acknowledging that she exists, and that she's as awesome as her sister. In fact, I thought of first that Kestrel and Aisling were the same until the revelation...which is not good, since it makes Kestrel somewhat superfluous.

Also: Glasshammer seems like a Trickster Mentor. I would expect him to actually have planned for ALL of this just to teach Ana something about life and STILL be Lawful Good. That would be a sweet turn of events.

[Kaidinah]

Contessa is a Grammaton with some crafting feats.

And this is a new short: The Sign of the Bucket (http://dreamscarred.com/the-sign-of-the-bucket/).
That was fantastic! The characters were believable and the humor was top notch. I know I've seen adventuring parties like that "Seriously Dad, what the Hell" group multiple times! Thank you for posting this.

I have no idea what category to place The Sign of the Bucket in however. For now, I gave it the category "Tales of a Fantasy Bard Maid." Do you have a better idea? if it is part of a series, mind tossing a name my way?

[Lord_Gareth]

That was fantastic! The characters were believable and the humor was top notch. I know I've seen adventuring parties like that "Seriously Dad, what the Hell" group multiple times! Thank you for posting this.

I have no idea what category to place The Sign of the Bucket in however. For now, I gave it the category "Tales of a Fantasy Bard Maid." Do you have a better idea? if it is part of a series, mind tossing a name my way?

Call it the Slime Bucket Inn and Tavern, for now.

[Kaidinah]

Call it the Slime Bucket Inn and Tavern, for now.The deed is done.


Good to see some more fiction where the Paladin MC/SC isn't a complete moron. Pretty light read, as well. Could do well to make character stats as "approximations" while still keeping the broad strokes approach to the story - I'm not exactly well-versed in DSP material, and I recognized just about every class used except that of Duke and Contessa (I swore the latter was a Marksman of sorts, though the penchant for crafting should have given me an idea).

Curious to see the interaction between the Count and Margrave - both are idiots, except one is also a snot and the other is a sadist that doesn't know restraints. The shock of having a paladin kneeling in fear and surrendering would have been a nice touch from Margrave to Ana, considering he offended her quite a bit (then again, I feel that Aisling sorta cheated at the moment - Aisling is known for being driven by rage, and Ana's reaction to Margrave's fear-based manipulation could seem like Aisling intervened on her behalf).

The bit about Aisling's sister, Kestrel...could see some more development there. The chapter came out of nowhere, and only later you see the connections to the story, but there's no buildup or anything - just acknowledging that she exists, and that she's as awesome as her sister. In fact, I thought of first that Kestrel and Aisling were the same until the revelation...which is not good, since it makes Kestrel somewhat superfluous.

Also: Glasshammer seems like a Trickster Mentor. I would expect him to actually have planned for ALL of this just to teach Ana something about life and STILL be Lawful Good. That would be a sweet turn of events.
I know right? I am tired of seeing stick-up-the-butt paladins. Anastasia and Glasshammer are truly a breath of fresh air.

Though I don't think Margrave is an idiot. Definitely a bad man, but not an idiot. If he was idiotic, he would have been killed by now.

I would love to see Kestrel developed as well. I have a feeling she will get more though, since she probably wouldn't have been introduced otherwise. What do you think?

[T.G. Oskar]

[...]I don't think Margrave is an idiot. Definitely a bad man, but not an idiot. If he was idiotic, he would have been killed by now.

His stunt that eventually got him trapped by two warships counts for me as an idiotic act, particularly because Aisling ordered him to do something else. He decided "hey, it's a side-quest; let's jump to it!", then realized it was a trap, and ended up with his tail between his legs. Sure, he got a parting salvo by using his fear powers on the weakest link, but he still got goaded.

Perhaps "idiotic" wasn't the right word; impulsive to the point of idiocy might fit him better, since unlike Contessa (friendly despite her worldview) and Duke (honorable to a fault, even while being evil), Margrave just doesn't care. Feels like Duke is LE while Contessa is CN/CE, and the Chaotic Evil one is actually more sensible than the Neutral Evil character. Margrave feels like pure NE, thinking only for himself and his own ends, and let the others be damned. His meeting with the Count would have ended on both getting killed by Aisling on a bout of rage.


I would love to see Kestrel developed as well. I have a feeling she will get more though, since she probably wouldn't have been introduced otherwise. What do you think?

Feel the same, but right now, she's somewhat disconnected. She was the protagonist of the 3rd Chapter, then suddenly gets a reference on a latter chapter...and that's it. Certainly, it's a character that will appear later on, but it depends on how it gets introduced into the current conflict; Ana has been for 3 months in about 12 chapters, and while that doesn't mean much (mostly that you can't predict how many chapters you get covering one month), it does mean that a quarter of her stay in the city has already passed, and depending on how many chapters get done, they may precipitate one or two more months at once (we're sure the next chapter deals with the repercussions of the Count's defeat).

At most - the Count becomes an antagonist, and recruits the Ragged Angel to make the city fall? Then again, it's early and pretty obvious.

[Kaidinah]

Another update! Looks like we have some sort of spiritual journey going on.

Heart-to-Heart (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-heart-to-heart/)

[Unbodied]

Another update! Looks like we have some sort of spiritual journey going on.

Heart-to-Heart (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-heart-to-heart/)
At least she isn't a worshiper of Odin. He would have been liable to just show up unnanounced on her doorstep. ;)

[scorpioni]

Seems the Mourners part - Exit stage left is inaccesible on the dreamscarred website. I get an 404 error.

[Lord_Gareth]

Seems the Mourners part - Exit stage left is inaccesible on the dreamscarred website. I get an 404 error.

Try refreshing the page. Our site is...less than ideal, currently.

[scorpioni]

Doesn't work either. The weird thing is all the other stories load without problem. Tried another browser and clearing my cache but nothing I do seems to fix it.

[Elricaltovilla]

New Kluk (http://dreamscarred.com/kluk-the-call-of-the-hero/) story for you all.

EDIT: I've also added tags and retitled the stories to make them easier to find.

[Kaidinah]

New Kluk (http://dreamscarred.com/kluk-the-call-of-the-hero/) story for you all.

EDIT: I've also added tags and retitled the stories to make them easier to find.Thank you Elricaltovilla! I have placed it in the opening post.
This story was really action packed. Glad to see Kluk survived another day, and that those hobgoblins got what they deserved. Not so happy to see that all his followers are dead. I hope there were some survivors!


At least she isn't a worshiper of Odin. He would have been liable to just show up unnanounced on her doorstep. ;)Even still, these really do seem like the most interactive gods I've seen in D&D. Its pretty fun seeing deities getting off their butts.

[Extra Anchovies]

I feel like we should start putting spoilers inside, well, spoilers, because otherwise it's easy to accidentally find out what happens in the most recent Kluk story before reading it :smallyuk:

ETA:

The followers are dead! No! Granted, the one I liked most already died a while ago (I was hoping the one with the bombs [likely an alchemist] would end up sticking around as a supporting character), but it's still sad.

Also, is that a blinkback belt? Nice. Glad he's dead, though, because those hobgoblins were meanies.

[Kaidinah]

I feel like we should start putting spoilers inside, well, spoilers, because otherwise it's easy to accidentally find out what happens in the most recent Kluk story before reading it :smallyuk:

ETA:

The followers are dead! No! Granted, the one I liked most already died a while ago (I was hoping the one with the bombs [likely an alchemist] would end up sticking around as a supporting character), but it's still sad.

Also, is that a blinkback belt? Nice. Glad he's dead, though, because those hobgoblins were meanies.My bad! Sorry for providing spoilers to you, and anyone else who might have seen. I will try to be more careful from now on.

[Elricaltovilla]

Man, I don't think anyone's ever spoilered my plots before. I take that as a pretty big compliment. Thanks guys!

[Lord_Gareth]

At least she isn't a worshiper of Odin. He would have been liable to just show up unnanounced on her doorstep. ;)

And then you remember that Margrave worships Morpheus (and learn that Sybil devotes herself in a general manner to the Greek gods).

[scorpioni]

Just FYI, I managed to get the missing Mourners part to show. I don't know who did what exactly but I got my fix (that's all what matters :smallbiggrin:). Thanks for another few excellent pieces of writing!

[Lord_Gareth]

And then we updated: Traitor's Roar (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-traitors-roar/).

[Kaidinah]

Man, I don't think anyone's ever spoilered my plots before. I take that as a pretty big compliment. Thanks guys!And thank you for putting out that content!


And then we updated: Traitor's Roar (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-traitors-roar/).Sweet! Time to update the opening post.

[Elricaltovilla]

I don't know if you all would be interested, as it's unlikely to affect the plot of the Kluk Saga, but I've been toying with the biology of the goblins in my story and they aren't exactly golarion goblins. So if you wanted, I could put up the info about them in here.

[137beth]

A bunch of the links in the OP aren't working.

[Elricaltovilla]

A bunch of the links in the OP aren't working.

Try refreshing the page after it gives you the broken link message. Our website... isn't great right now.

[Kaidinah]

I don't know if you all would be interested, as it's unlikely to affect the plot of the Kluk Saga, but I've been toying with the biology of the goblins in my story and they aren't exactly golarion goblins. So if you wanted, I could put up the info about them in here.Yeah I think I am interested. I noticed a few differences so far in DSP fiction. Your goblins aren't bouncy and Gareth's elves don't have horrifying eyes.

[Elricaltovilla]

Yeah I think I am interested. I noticed a few differences so far in DSP fiction. Your goblins aren't bouncy and Gareth's elves don't have horrifying eyes.

Nah, my goblins aren't bouncy. They're squishy. Better for handling sudden impacts.


Goblins evolved from a predatory arboreal species in the densely forested jungle areas of the world. Their green coloration served as camouflage while they moved from tree to tree. Goblins have exceptional eyesight, hearing and sense of smell, developed to help them track prey and spot camouflaged creatures far below. Their eyes can actually see into both the infrared and ultraviolet spectrum.

Goblins, hobgoblins and bugbears are all different variations of the same species. When goblins mate, the mother gives birth to 4 or 5 "grubs" that quickly grow to full size over the course of about three years. Some of these grubs are especially large when born and will continue to grow until they're nearly five feet tall, these are hobgoblins. Still others are born with an odd bristle of hair, they will grow even larger than Hobgoblins, these are the notorious bugbears.

Hobgoblins that breed tend to produce a higher number of hobgoblin offspring, and since they tend to be bigger and meaner than basic goblins they also tend to breed more often. Bugbears seem to be an entirely random mutation though, there's no telling when or if one will surface.

[Lord_Gareth]

And then we updated! Mourners - Babysitter (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-babysitter/).

[Mr.Sandman]

This will end badly, I'm detecting an incoming sibling beatdown.

[phlidwsn]

I predict the start of a drama explosion, to be reigned in before it hits critical mass by Ana. Probably via a DiNozzo to the back of Aisling's head.

[Kaidinah]

Nah, my goblins aren't bouncy. They're squishy. Better for handling sudden impacts.


Goblins evolved from a predatory arboreal species in the densely forested jungle areas of the world. Their green coloration served as camouflage while they moved from tree to tree. Goblins have exceptional eyesight, hearing and sense of smell, developed to help them track prey and spot camouflaged creatures far below. Their eyes can actually see into both the infrared and ultraviolet spectrum.

Goblins, hobgoblins and bugbears are all different variations of the same species. When goblins mate, the mother gives birth to 4 or 5 "grubs" that quickly grow to full size over the course of about three years. Some of these grubs are especially large when born and will continue to grow until they're nearly five feet tall, these are hobgoblins. Still others are born with an odd bristle of hair, they will grow even larger than Hobgoblins, these are the notorious bugbears.

Hobgoblins that breed tend to produce a higher number of hobgoblin offspring, and since they tend to be bigger and meaner than basic goblins they also tend to breed more often. Bugbears seem to be an entirely random mutation though, there's no telling when or if one will surface.
I like it! I will miss the bouncy, but I like the way everything else works. I bet the impact resistance will serve Kluk well. Actually, it did last chapter didn't it?


And then we updated! Mourners - Babysitter (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-babysitter/). Very nice! This chapter had a lot of good moments. the warm fuzzy cuteness of Ana x Aisling. Ana really caught Aisling flat-footed this time and snuck attacked harder than any rogue I've built. Not only did we get a lot of development for them, but the big moment is coming! I have been looking forward to the sister's reunion for a while now.


I predict the start of a drama explosion, to be reigned in before it hits critical mass by Ana. Probably via a DiNozzo to the back of Aisling's head.Dis gon be good. Get the popcorn and I'll get the drinks.

[Kaidinah]

Wow! We got a new Psionics Augmented chapter today. And it looks like it will be a series!

We got some new characters with familiar names too. Kyria and Endeca both appear in this chapter. Kyria's name shows up multiple times in Psionics Augmented: Wilders in the power Kyria's Crystalline Aura, which basically surrounds the manifester with whirling blades that can attack or defend. Endeca's name shows up in Steelforge, with the wondrous item called Endeca's Gregarious Gravity Slime, which is a cute slime-in-a-jar that can be tossed on flying foes to pull them down to the ground.

It looks like these two will be team up with someone named Morris to meet up with the wonderful elves from Starlight, Star Bright to face an eldritch evil. This eldritch evil happens to be the Phrenic Hegemony from Psionic Bestiary. It really is nice seeing all these different pieces of DSP pulled together like this.

[Lord_Gareth]

You can also see pictures of Kyria in that book - she's the iconic Volcano Mind, and has another power (Kyria's vascular disruption) in Lords of the Night.

[Kaidinah]

It looks like we have a double update today! Not only do we have a new Mourners, but A Fire So Pure has updated as well!

In Mourners, we finally get to see what happens when Kestrel and Aisling meet. I am glad this finally happened. I didn't expect it to end the way it did though!

As for A Fire So Pure, it looks like our favorite elans are about to break some rules and take action. I can't wait to see what they do to "Lord" Olarm. This story is interesting, though it made me realize that Elans were a bit more jerky than I thought.


You can also see pictures of Kyria in that book - she's the iconic Volcano Mind, and has another power (Kyria's vascular disruption) in Lords of the Night.Cool! I have been a big fan of her character design since I got that book. I rather like seeing powers named after their creators return.

[Elricaltovilla]

New Kluk Story (http://dreamscarred.com/kluk-a-hero-of-the-people/)

[Kaidinah]

New Kluk Story (http://dreamscarred.com/kluk-a-hero-of-the-people/)An excellent end(?) for this series! Thank you Elricaltovilla for writing these stories. I've been enjoying them very much. The humor has been spot on!

[Elricaltovilla]

An excellent end(?) for this series! Thank you Elricaltovilla for writing these stories. I've been enjoying them very much. The humor has been spot on!

I don't think I'm done writing it just yet. But November is coming up so I'm toying with attempting to write a novel about Kluk for National Novel Writing Month. Either in addition to or instead of the short stories. We'll see I guess.

[Swaoeaeieu]

New Kluk Story (http://dreamscarred.com/kluk-a-hero-of-the-people/)

"feat not Kluk" i read, thinking it must mean something like Don't run. until my brain kicks in and tells me it's a typo.. And feat isnt the same as feet. I does englisj good no?

[Elricaltovilla]

"feat not Kluk" i read, thinking it must mean something like Don't run. until my brain kicks in and tells me it's a typo.. And feat isnt the same as feet. I does englisj good no?

I fixed it.

[Callin]

Love the series about Kluck.

[Elricaltovilla]

Love the series about Kluck.

I'm glad you like it so much. Did you want to expand on that at all? I'm a writer, I need feedback like vampires need impressionable teenage girls.:smalltongue:

[Kaidinah]

Oh boy! We have another Mourners guys! Presenting: By Royal Decree (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-by-royal-decree/)
Despite the direness of the situation, this one was a pretty happy story. Its ironic how when everything was going great in Shatterdown, Ana was terrified and Aisling more mad, but now that things have gotten crazy it is time for dates.


I'm glad you like it so much. Did you want to expand on that at all? I'm a writer, I need feedback like vampires need impressionable teenage girls.:smalltongue:Sounds like someone needs to play a LoTN campaign!


I don't think I'm done writing it just yet. But November is coming up so I'm toying with attempting to write a novel about Kluk for National Novel Writing Month. Either in addition to or instead of the short stories. We'll see I guess.Not done you say? Then please continue! In my personal opinion, this set of short stories feels complete, so I think "instead of" would be something I would like more. I want to see more Kluk, just not sure if I want King Kluk as much as Minion Kluk.

[Elricaltovilla]

Well I'm not short on ideas for other stuff. It might do to give poor Kluk a break. I really do like feedback on my writing though, Jade can confirm, it's like crack for writers.

[neversterling]

Well I'm not short on ideas for other stuff. It might do to give poor Kluk a break. I really do like feedback on my writing though, Jade can confirm, it's like crack for writers.

Reading Kluk's stories inspired me to start a goblin campaign, which I eventually based on We Be Goblins as a starting point. I hope to continue to draw inspiration from Kluk's adventures.

[Elricaltovilla]

I've decided to start a new story. Introducing the first chapter of Black Powder Magic (http://dreamscarred.com/black-powder-magic-chapter-1/).

[Kaidinah]

Excellent introduction! This feels quite different from Kluk. I embrace this fantasy western with glee.

[Lord_Gareth]

And then, I wrote something a little different: Carol of the Bells (http://dreamscarred.com/steelforge-carol-of-the-bells/).

[Kaidinah]

And then, I wrote something a little different: Carol of the Bells (http://dreamscarred.com/steelforge-carol-of-the-bells/).Wow. This went in a direction I did not expect. Good guys lose! Zombie apocalypse incoming. But in all seriousness, that was a cool piece of microfiction. I didn't expect Christmas to come early this year. I also didn't expect to be delivered ghouls to the face.]

[Kaidinah]

We have another new release! (http://dreamscarred.com/psionics-augmented-common-language/)This time of the psionics Augmented series. It seems to pick up after both Starlight, Star Bright and The Lich's Apprentice. Pretty cool I think. Also great tentacle jokes.

[Elricaltovilla]

I'm going to be taking down Black Powder Magic some time today. I'm going to attempt to write a full novel of it for National Novel Writing Month come November, so I don't want to lead people to think there might be more coming at this time.

[Kaidinah]

I'm going to be taking down Black Powder Magic some time today. I'm going to attempt to write a full novel of it for National Novel Writing Month come November, so I don't want to lead people to think there might be more coming at this time.
I'll be throwing support your way when NaNoWriMo begins then! Sounds pretty cool!

[Elricaltovilla]

I'll be throwing support your way when NaNoWriMo begins then! Sounds pretty cool!

It's going to be a rough month. I appreciate the support.

[Kaidinah]

Rough and gritty. You could even say true grit.

[Lord_Gareth]

And then the LONGEST MOURNERS UPDATE EVER was written: Valhalla (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-valhalla/).

[phlidwsn]

And then the LONGEST MOURNERS UPDATE EVER was written: Valhalla (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-valhalla/).

Ok, I like that idea so much. One Vitalist with Leadership coming up for my next game. Or maybe a Vitalist & Thrallherd pair for villains.

[Lord_Gareth]

Ok, I like that idea so much. One Vitalist with Leadership coming up for my next game. Or maybe a Vitalist & Thrallherd pair for villains.

The Venn diagram describing the reasons Leadership is cool and the reasons I ban Leadership is a circle.

[Kaidinah]

Yeah, I have to agree. In fiction it can lead to awesome story moments like in Valhala, but in game its probably the most disruptive feat I have ever seen.

But man, I really digged this Mourners. It had everything! Margrave! Deposed nobility! Secret temples! Deadly dragons! Ancient relics! KNIGHTHOOD!

What do you guys think of the character development shown here? I really liked getting a deeper look into Margrave's head, along with a glimpse at Aisling's initial takeover of Shatterdown.

[Lord_Gareth]

And then we updated again, with surprising swiftness: Fimbulwinter (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-fimbulwinter/).

[Kaidinah]

This update arrived faster than a Harbinger.

With how much was resolved this chapter, is the ending of Mourners perhaps in sight? It sure feels that way. Though, with how many plotlines got resolved, or partially resolved (Aisling and Ana) this chapter seems to have introduced a few more. We got Kestral knocked out, baiting Jasmine, and even Levie has shown up. I think things are about to get a lot more crazy than before.

[Lord_Gareth]

So folks, an announcement: Mourners is reaching its close. If things go how I think they're going (seat-of-the-pants writing, weeee), there's two, maybe three updates left until Aisling & Anastasia's story has been told. Figured here, before the climax, might be a good time to ask how folks feel it's gone, their thoughts on the characters & plot, field questions, that sort of thing. What're your thoughts? Questions? Feelings? I am literally dying to know.

[Kaidinah]

So the end is nigh! I think its pretty apparent that I have been a large fan of this story, and look forward to seeing the conclusion of Mourners. I have grown attached to a few of the characters, especially Margrave, Ana, and Duke. I did find Sybil a bit boring for my tastes though. I usually am not a fan of the "responsible one," in a group.

I guess my biggest question, though I want it answered by the story, is which plot threads will be tied up by the end? What will the audience be left to wonder? These thoughts are very exciting to me.

But as for questions you can answer here: Did you have any inspiration, whether fictional or historical, for any of your characters? Some of the characters feel pretty high level, especially Sybil. If you aren't comfortable giving a number, mind giving a broad statement like "low" or "high"? You seem to write your stories while still accepting and recognizing that they are set in a D20 verse. That is pretty cool. Sometimes though, it feels like you bend the rules for certain character's class abilities, such as allowing Sybil's collective to be larger than possible for any Vitalist. When you break these rules, what is your motivation?

[twas_Brillig]

... allowing Sybil's collective to be larger than possible for any Vitalist...

Gareth can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Valhalla helps explain that. (and I want to say it may have been implied when they first talk about the Rabble, but Valhalla makes it explicit.)

Sybil has a large collective, being high level. Some of the members of her collection a) also have their own collectives, and b) are in other collectives. (I could swear there was a special rule about people being in each others' collectives but I don't see it for the vitalist (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/psionics-unleashed/classes/vitalist#TOC-Collective-Su-)) These other collectives in turn are linked to yet more collectives in the same way. (Sybil has taken in and trained a number of manifesters, common in this setting, with the vitalists and tacticians contributing to the network.)

While the outer members of the network can't get as much direct help from Sybil, by transferring damage to people who are in more than one collective it can be spread out even further. Spreading healing around is even easier, since nobody needs to risk dying.

[Lord_Gareth]

Gareth can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Valhalla helps explain that. (and I want to say it may have been implied when they first talk about the Rabble, but Valhalla makes it explicit.)

Sybil has a large collective, being high level. Some of the members of her collection a) also have their own collectives, and b) are in other collectives. (I could swear there was a special rule about people being in each others' collectives but I don't see it for the vitalist (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/psionics-unleashed/classes/vitalist#TOC-Collective-Su-)) These other collectives in turn are linked to yet more collectives in the same way. (Sybil has taken in and trained a number of manifesters, common in this setting, with the vitalists and tacticians contributing to the network.)

While the outer members of the network can't get as much direct help from Sybil, by transferring damage to people who are in more than one collective it can be spread out even further. Spreading healing around is even easier, since nobody needs to risk dying.

This is correct. The Rabble & Scum communicate over a telepathic network made of collectives. Sybil is the origin point; she keeps the Scum and her more powerful students in her own Collective, who in turn have more vitalists in their own collectives. Communication can be passed between Collectives through those individuals who are members of more than one; likewise, damage and healing can be spread between Collectives the same way. The great weakness of this method is, of course, its range, which is mitigated in two ways, one of which I should probably mention when the editing and rewriting happens: nodes, built on the same principles as network node earrings (which also see use); a collective user attunes to the node and extends their range from it.

The end result is that Sybil has an extensive and potent network that is limited to Shatterdown and, to a lesser extent, the deck of the Fetch. This is one of those things I probably should bring up at some point in the story itself. I'm sad to say that it slipped my mind.


But as for questions you can answer here: Did you have any inspiration, whether fictional or historical, for any of your characters? Some of the characters feel pretty high level, especially Sybil. If you aren't comfortable giving a number, mind giving a broad statement like "low" or "high"? You seem to write your stories while still accepting and recognizing that they are set in a D20 verse. That is pretty cool. Sometimes though, it feels like you bend the rules for certain character's class abilities, such as allowing Sybil's collective to be larger than possible for any Vitalist. When you break these rules, what is your motivation?

The Scum fall into the 11-15 range, with Aisling as the highest level member forged from a human's lifespan of murder & struggle, not to mention the takeover of Shatterdown and her various, shall we say, extra-curricular activities. Shatterdown contains a higher-than-usual concentration of individuals with levels in PC classes, the results both of the revolution Aisling lead and the activities of the Scum themselves, who, with varying degrees of consistency and interest, teach people that sometimes go on to teach others. The crew of the Fetch, along with Sybil's psionic apprentices & students, form the backbone of such teaching.

Some details have been glossed for narrative purposes, others to give the same kind of feeling derived from a player finding a clever combo or rules loophole that is then permitted. For much the same reason, a lot of the dialogue in Mourners could be seen as anachronistic; I wanted the Scum to sound the way a PC might at the table, being roleplayed by someone who is, quite frankly, from a modern background. One of the things I've always loved about roleplaying was that sense of time displacement, and I'm glad it seems to have gone over well thus far.

[twas_Brillig]

Some details have been glossed for narrative purposes, others to give the same kind of feeling derived from a player finding a clever combo or rules loophole that is then permitted. For much the same reason, a lot of the dialogue in Mourners could be seen as anachronistic; I wanted the Scum to sound the way a PC might at the table, being roleplayed by someone who is, quite frankly, from a modern background. One of the things I've always loved about roleplaying was that sense of time displacement, and I'm glad it seems to have gone over well thus far.

Now that you bring it up, I think that was something I noticed early on. Not that you were specifically going for table-dialog, but that the dialog was definitely anachronistic, and my god were these people a party. I think that's something that short form fiction can get away with where long form fiction might stutter. For that matter, I think I'm more accepting of breaks from literary standards (especially in terms of dialog and language) in web fiction than I am in print. Web stuff is just fundamentally informal to me, I guess.

So I'd say it definitely works read serially, but I'll have to go back to reread when you're finished to say whether it works as well read all at once. I'd definitely keep an eye on it if you were using the same trick in a full length novel. It could still be fun, but it might end up too twee.

[Lord_Gareth]

And now for something that is in fact unrelated to Mourners - Quid Nomen Mihi Est? (http://dreamscarred.com/path-of-war-expanded-quid-nomen-mihi-est/)

[Tuvarkz]

And now for something that is in fact unrelated to Mourners - Quid Nomen Mihi Est? (http://dreamscarred.com/path-of-war-expanded-quid-nomen-mihi-est/)

Mind=blown. Hell this one's awesome. At the start I thought it was Al'Asadriel, but the moment the Black Thorn Knights came into play that would have stopped making sense considering the other piece of work where Black thorns and Empyreal guardians work together.

[Kaidinah]

Mind=blown. Hell this one's awesome. At the start I thought it was Al'Asadriel, but the moment the Black Thorn Knights came into play that would have stopped making sense considering the other piece of work where Black thorns and Empyreal guardians work together.Yeah, right at the beginning I thought so too. But she seemed to obsessed with the law to be Al'Asadriel. For me, it wasn't until that conflict with the Black Thorn Knights that I decided it was Rumor.


This is correct. The Rabble & Scum communicate over a telepathic network made of collectives. Sybil is the origin point....Thanks for answering those questions! My bad, I had forgotten that the Sybil network thing was actually answered in story. Still, when you have that many vitalists, the whole collective chaining thing can get ridiculous enough for that dragon to never stand a chance.

So the general populace of Shatterdown has more PC classed people due to Sybil and Margrave's men being willing to teach? That is pretty cool to think about. Hopefully Duke doesn't get in on this! I can't imagine the hell he'd put the average joe though. I kind of expected a higher level range for the characters, but now that I think about it, they aren't on that reality altering level just yet.

[Antariuk]

I read all Mourner chapters yesterday in one session and I had a blast!

Despite my initial reservations about the Psionics (I don't hate that subsystem, I just have no experience whatsoever with it and was worried that the fiction would be "weird") it took me only about 5 minutes to get totally hooked. I enjoy the characters and I want to know more about the world they live in. The writing is very compact and glosses over some minutiae, but I think it focuses on the right things and keeps up a fast pace that never leaves you bored, so even though I'd love to see more details I really enjoy the writing in its current form.

That the cast contains so many strong female characters is great. Not that there aren't any fantasy stories with those, but it tends to be a single female character with lots of males (or whatever gender the setting has to offer) around. This is a refreshing break. Also, Paladin vs. Evil? It might be the most discussed aspect of D&D since the game exists, but I loved how Mourners makes it a relatable and intersting topic without any wagging forefingers or moral sermons.

Also, I really really like Margrave. I'd love to see a short story just about him :smallbiggrin:

If I had to criticize something: a) the neglect of Contessa's character. She is just around and does stuff, which is fine since she's not part of the main cast, but as someone who is so vital for the urban operations of the Rabble & Scum I think a bit more insight into her personality is in order. Then b) the city of Shatterdown is pretty much an empty scenery that provides stuff as needed by the plot and seems to have no dynamic of its own. Are there no interesting locations besides the inn? Is really everone happy with the status quo and does whatever the Rabble & Scum order them to do? We know only little about the very town that caused six (!) Paladins to take a road trip, which is a damn shame.

But despite my nitpicking this has been the best official web fiction I've read in quite some time.
Thanks for the entertainment, and I am looking forward to the upcoming last chapters!

[Kaidinah]

I am glad to see a new reader! Might I ask you how you came to find Mourners? I am hoping this thread is being of use to people desiring to find fun stories. If the psionics presented in Mourners was of your liking, might I recommend A Fire So Pure (also in the opening post)? It has a different author, but it focuses almost exclusively on psionic characters.

The focus on female characters in Mourners is pretty cool actually. It is refreshing to see so many movers and shakers in the world be of varied sexes, instead of one or the other dominating. As is seeing paladins be more than just evil hunting psychopaths. Anastasia staying in a hive of scum and villainy without being forced to destroy it. I think its been a very interesting dynamic, with her being a student and observer. She still gets to fight evil, but she really has to think about which evil to fight.

I am glad to see we have another Margrave fan. He has been my favorite character for quite some time now. If he got a short story, what would you want from it? I would love one too, but I have no idea what I would want out of it.

Now that you mention it, I think you bring up valid points about Shatterdown. I was very occupied by the characters, to the point that I really never noticed. If anyone in the caste would benefit from additional fiction, I think Contessa and Sybil would be the top contenders. They definitely need more time, because I feel that Mourners didn't have the time to go in depth on them.

[Antariuk]

I am glad to see a new reader! Might I ask you how you came to find Mourners?

I lurk here from time to time and this thread just caught my eye. Although it coincides with an increased interest in Psionics since I am working on a homebrew setting and thought about giving this subsystem a shot just for the sake of novelty - but I wasn't searching for psionics conctent specifically. Pure happenstance, basically :smallsmile:


I am glad to see we have another Margrave fan. He has been my favorite character for quite some time now. If he got a short story, what would you want from it? I would love one too, but I have no idea what I would want out of it.

Two things come to mind: First, how he met Aisling and came to follow her. We got the ultra-compact version of this event, but I would love to read that particular encounter from his point of view. Alternatively, something from his past, how he became who he is today. Because I got the impression that Margrave is not a typical specimen of his race (although I might be wrong about that?).

[Kaidinah]

I lurk here from time to time and this thread just caught my eye. Although it coincides with an increased interest in Psionics since I am working on a homebrew setting and thought about giving this subsystem a shot just for the sake of novelty - but I wasn't searching for psionics conctent specifically. Pure happenstance, basically :smallsmile:

Two things come to mind: First, how he met Aisling and came to follow her. We got the ultra-compact version of this event, but I would love to read that particular encounter from his point of view. Alternatively, something from his past, how he became who he is today. Because I got the impression that Margrave is not a typical specimen of his race (although I might be wrong about that?).Well, I am very please to know that this thread helped you out :smallbiggrin: I do hope you enjoy crafting your homebrew setting, and that Psionics suits it well if you choose to use it.

Oh! Margrave meeting Aisling would be fantastic. I really must wonder how he met her, considering that she has a coastal town, and that he is a pirate. Was it a failed raid, or was he just stopping by for supplies? A story about their meeting would certainly solve that mystery.

[Lord_Gareth]

I read all Mourner chapters yesterday in one session and I had a blast!

Despite my initial reservations about the Psionics (I don't hate that subsystem, I just have no experience whatsoever with it and was worried that the fiction would be "weird") it took me only about 5 minutes to get totally hooked. I enjoy the characters and I want to know more about the world they live in. The writing is very compact and glosses over some minutiae, but I think it focuses on the right things and keeps up a fast pace that never leaves you bored, so even though I'd love to see more details I really enjoy the writing in its current form.

You can't see it, but I'm blushing intensely. I got a certain style pounded into me over the course of about six years with a writing group that saw me from one side of puberty to the other, and honestly despite the acknowledged weaknesses (to wit, the glossed details), I tend to prefer it.

As far as psionics goes, while it does touch on themes of mentalism & strange, even alien happenings, the fact of the matter is psionicists have to live day-to-day lives like the rest of us. I kinda ran with that idea, wondering how they'd fall into various roles with the powers at their disposal. 'm glad to see it fit well for you!


That the cast contains so many strong female characters is great. Not that there aren't any fantasy stories with those, but it tends to be a single female character with lots of males (or whatever gender the setting has to offer) around. This is a refreshing break.

You know, it's odd to say but I tend to think of more female characters than male or non-gendered ones (see: golems, etc.). Always have, still don't know why. One of these days I'll figure it out, but where this rambling is going is that I didn't really set out thinking 'girl power time!', it just sorta shook out that way.


Also, Paladin vs. Evil? It might be the most discussed aspect of D&D since the game exists, but I loved how Mourners makes it a relatable and intersting topic without any wagging forefingers or moral sermons.

This...this here was one of my big goals and concerns. I don't suppose I can persuade you to expand on this, unpack what you mean a little?


Also, I really really like Margrave. I'd love to see a short story just about him :smallbiggrin:

I may just have to do this at some point if he keeps being popular. Dude's easily the most unrepentantly evil of the Scum (which is a feat when you remember that there's a freaking drow right there), could do with some exploring.


If I had to criticize something: a) the neglect of Contessa's character. She is just around and does stuff, which is fine since she's not part of the main cast, but as someone who is so vital for the urban operations of the Rabble & Scum I think a bit more insight into her personality is in order.

Yeah, this is a bit of a whole thing. The trouble is, Contessa's most important work happens in the background, with the infrastructure of the city and its defenses. Coupled with her more passive role in this tale, she kinda ends up without a lot of screentime despite the vital and irreplaceable nature of her work. Trying to add more would probably gut-punch the pacing. I dunno how I'd solve it, honestly. Ah, taking ideas?


Then b) the city of Shatterdown is pretty much an empty scenery that provides stuff as needed by the plot and seems to have no dynamic of its own. Are there no interesting locations besides the inn? Is really everone happy with the status quo and does whatever the Rabble & Scum order them to do? We know only little about the very town that caused six (!) Paladins to take a road trip, which is a damn shame.

Aye, this is something I'd been bothered about myself, but the trouble is that we have three main point of view characters, all of whom remain in and around the seat of power for the most part - the Protection Racket - as both the literal center of their domain and the place where citizenry can get to them without having to hunt them down. Aisling's previous hobbies were essentially wine, women, song, reading, the rare romance & seeing to the city's defense. She didn't know what to do with her life after she won her glittery bar stool.

As a result of both this and wanting to keep the focus in on the plot and characters, the city itself is a bit of a vague entity and I'll be perfectly honest, I haven't filled in or even thought of a lot of the stuff you're mentioning. One thing I'll note, though, is that Aisling is for the most part a kinda hands-off ruler. The Rabble are there to keep peace, not enforce her will. In all honesty, Shatterdown's citizenry live their day to day lives with almost no direction from their rulers, with the crown disturbing their life generally only if it wants something (and even then, showing up with coin and a decent explanation). Aisling's only generally gone Full Dictatorship Mode in times of emergencies or when handing down justice to those who break her laws, because she got into this gig to be a princess. Quite frankly she got what she wanted pretty entirely after she got her "palace", her throne, and everyone calling her Your Highness. Now, like a dog who caught a car, she has no idea what she's gonna do. Or, at least, she didn't until Ana.


But despite my nitpicking this has been the best official web fiction I've read in quite some time.
Thanks for the entertainment, and I am looking forward to the upcoming last chapters!

My friend, critique is always welcome and appreciated. Unlike certain bestelling "authors" who cry on national freaking television when someone says they don't like their books, not that I'm freakin' bitter, I appreciate having the flaws pointed out so that they can be examined, acted upon, and improved in later works. Thanks for the read, and for the continued interest!

[Antariuk]

Oh! Margrave meeting Aisling would be fantastic. I really must wonder how he met her, considering that she has a coastal town, and that he is a pirate. Was it a failed raid, or was he just stopping by for supplies? A story about their meeting would certainly solve that mystery.

Especially since he operates under different moral and ethical parameters than the rest.


You know, it's odd to say but I tend to think of more female characters than male or non-gendered ones (see: golems, etc.). Always have, still don't know why. One of these days I'll figure it out, but where this rambling is going is that I didn't really set out thinking 'girl power time!', it just sorta shook out that way.

More power to you then :smallsmile:


This...this here was one of my big goals and concerns. I don't suppose I can persuade you to expand on this, unpack what you mean a little?

It took me a while to figure it out, but I think its two things. One, at this point we (or at least I) don't know if the world of Mourners operates under the principles of Planescape's Evil and Good, in the way that they are objectively verifiable qualities that have nothing to do with a person's own moral code. Which is a good thing because while this idea sounds kinda interesting,it creates a lot of confusion. It being ambiguous like right now is pretty cool because the reader can make up his/her own mind.
Second, the story doesn't try to justify every character's actions endlessly, it simply states arguments and then it moves on, which I find very refreshing. We read why Aisling made Shatterdown the city it is today, and we heard arguments against her being in charge and arguments why she being there is a good thing, but there aren't pages upon pages of characters becoming sockpuppets for the author's pet pieves. The insights we get are distinct and sufficient to portrait the intends of the respective characters, but they don't drown the rest of the story. And even though Mourners so far has a tendency towards supporting Aisling's current rule, it also presents sufficient evidence to support that tone. It's not like you as the author decided it had to be this way and everyone else just suck it up and read on or be damned. We can follow your reasoning.
Also, I get the impression that Anastasia won't come out of the while affair as unharmed as we are to believe right now. I mean, she suffered in the beginning but even with the demanding job and her brutal training it's basically kisses and roses everywhere right now. She seems to have accepted that evil people can do the right things sometimes, even if the reasons are not the ones she herself holds in high esteem. But is it really that easy, especially for a Paladin? I think its not, and I am very curious to see how it all ends.

[Kaidinah]

...She seems to have accepted that evil people can do the right things sometimes, even if the reasons are not the ones she herself holds in high esteem. But is it really that easy, especially for a Paladin? I think its not, and I am very curious to see how it all ends.I have a feeling that it won't be easy. Something will have to give at some point, and I am very curious to see what that thing will be. I think a happy ending can still be achieved, depending on what exactly "gives." I think Ana is better doing good without being a Paladin. With her open mind, she may be better off without a constricting oath. Then again, with her open mind, she may be able to work within that oath. Who can really say?

[Lord_Gareth]

And then a wild update appeared - Mourners - Ragnarok (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-ragnarok/).

This is the penultimate update; the next one will be the last.

[Swaoeaeieu]

And then a wild update appeared - Mourners - Ragnarok (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-ragnarok/).

This is the penultimate update; the next one will be the last.

Oh Contessa, you glorious little psycho.

[Lord_Gareth]

So, bit of an announcement folks!

Bossman: Viking Edition is potentially interested in doing a small release for Shatterdown, especially since there seems to be a market for it. Which brings me here to you with some questions. Is there enough interest in such a thing (considering it's likely to lack player options or at least not have many) for folks to actually buy a Shatterdown primer? What would you want to /know/ about the city? Do you want to see the pre-Aisling Shatterdown, or the one goverened by the Scarlet Princess and her Scum?

Either way, stat blocks - NPC stat blocks, that is - are likely to be reserved for folks used as part of introduced plot hooks; as fun as it'd be to stat out Aisling & her Scum they'd be a waste of limited page space.

[Elricaltovilla]

I'm not a fan of begging for feedback, but I am curious from those who've read Kluk whether it's aged like wine or milk. In other words, how well does the whole thing fit together now that it's finished?

[Kaidinah]

I'm not a fan of begging for feedback, but I am curious from those who've read Kluk whether it's aged like wine or milk. In other words, how well does the whole thing fit together now that it's finished?Kluk still reads as fun for me. All the humor feels just right and gobliny.


So, bit of an announcement folks!

Bossman: Viking Edition is potentially interested in doing a small release for Shatterdown, especially since there seems to be a market for it. Which brings me here to you with some questions. Is there enough interest in such a thing (considering it's likely to lack player options or at least not have many) for folks to actually buy a Shatterdown primer? What would you want to /know/ about the city? Do you want to see the pre-Aisling Shatterdown, or the one goverened by the Scarlet Princess and her Scum?

Either way, stat blocks - NPC stat blocks, that is - are likely to be reserved for folks used as part of introduced plot hooks; as fun as it'd be to stat out Aisling & her Scum they'd be a waste of limited page space.
Pre-Aisling Shatterdown seems like it would have more internal troubles for players to work with, but then it would not be the Shatterdown that the readers know and love. How would you address this if writing the Shatterdown ruled by Aisling?

And then a wild update appeared - Mourners - Ragnarok (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-ragnarok/).

This is the penultimate update; the next one will be the last.Wow! What a chapter. This one has everything. Romance! Demonic hoards! Guitar battles! And more wolves than you'll find anywhere else. I think the pacing of the end has been stable so far. With one more entry to go, Mourner's ending is not feeling rushed at all. It feels like it will be naturally reaching its end.

[Nyaa]

End? It looks like just the first adventure of our little paladin.

[Elricaltovilla]

End? It looks like just the first adventure of our little paladin.

He's not a paladin, he's a Warlord with a +1 Undead and Outsider(Evil) bane glaive.

[Lord_Gareth]

AT LAST, IT IS COMPLETE - the final chapter of Mourners - Coronation (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-coronation/).

It's been a helluva ride. As always, I'm eagerly anticipating feedback, questions, criticism. Thanks for sticking with the story this long, folks.

[Kaidinah]

AT LAST, IT IS COMPLETE - the final chapter of Mourners - Coronation (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-coronation/).

It's been a helluva ride. As always, I'm eagerly anticipating feedback, questions, criticism. Thanks for sticking with the story this long, folks. It ends. What a wild ride. First, I want to congratulate you on finishing Mourners. Thank you for spending the time on it. It certainly made me happy to read it.

I like this ending. Things went better than expected at basically every turn. I was a little surprised at how good things turned out at some points, especially for Ana. She got students and everything! The only thing I did not like was how the rest of the "war" was glossed over. What happened to Harry? I wasn't expecting a large section of this chapter dedicated to the battle, but I didn't expect it to be 2 or 3 sentences.

I found the introduction of the Glass Hammer to be very strong. As a concept it is just cool. However, the way you used it in the story made it more than just a cool idea. It was some good world building, and the test itself was pretty cool.

The dialogue was pretty great too. Ana being able to josh around with Aisling in serious moments like the Glass Hammer test is pretty great.

It was pretty satisfying to know Marcus was never able to get anything done. I appreciate how you left it to our imaginations to determine his fate. I get the feeling he got out safe, but with pride wounded even more than before.

Lastly, the marriage proposal was unexpected. I really did think it would be Aisling to try first! Oh well, a happy ending is still happy.

[Lord_Gareth]

And then I got a bug up my ass and started the new Mourners series, Ashes to Ashes - The Old Days (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-ashes-to-ashes-rainy-days/).

[Kaidinah]

Thank that buttbug later for me then, because this was a great way to start off the new story! I already have that desire to know more. So everyone, what do you think this Granny is here for? I bet she is about to invite her back home for some cookies and milk. Seriously. I bet she has no idea what happened to her grandkids, and left to come see them before hearing the full story.

[Lord_Gareth]

And then because SANITY IS FOR THE WEAK - Mourners: Ashes to Ashes - Tactical Error (http://dreamscarred.com/mourners-ashes-to-ashes-tactical-error/).

[ghanjrho]

I laughed so hard my vision spotted. Well done, good sir.

[Lord_Gareth]

Announcing at this point that three of the stories have been moved under the new header 'Orion's Belt'. They were always going to be part of the same series; consider this the official intent-to-finish announcement.

[Mr.Sandman]

As a restaurant worker, I really wish I could use Jacks line there, especially the day before yesterday.

[Kaidinah]

Jack's lines this latest chapter have been great. Gotta love that respect he shows granny.

[VoltsofEight]

I realize this thread is old but I wanted to show my support for good, enjoyable stories. They left me in a better mood than all the Pathfinder comics, not that they were inherently bad. They just felt like advertisements for the Pathfinder system and campaigns as opposed to interesting stories using the system. Whereas these may have taken some liberties with the Dreamscarred Press additions but it was only in service of the story.

Don't have much to add that hasn't been said here other than I'm disappointed they stopped when it seemed like a couple were gearing up for a major story but I get it. The stories and the site might not have enough audience retention to justify continuing which again makes me sad. Thanks for the content regardless everyone. Hope to see something else... eventually...

Also, I tried to register on the site so that I could show my support and point out a typo or 2 but it refuses to let me. Maybe because I'm on mobile. Eh.