grishnax
2015-08-08, 08:16 PM
Hey everyone, I'm grishnax. I've lurked on these forums for a while, but now I have a reason to post here: I decided to try my hand at writing a story. I wanted to see what people thought about it and would like to know whether I should continue it. Opinions and feedback are greatly appreciated.
Part 1
The wheels of the carriage clattered against the aged stone road as large droplets of water splashed on the roof. The coachman was completely drenched, having been driving through a good two hours of rain. Even though he was terribly soaked, he was glad for the heavy downpour. After all, it was the only thing preventing him from hearing the stream of complaints that had come out of one of the passenger's mouths since she first stepped into his vehicle.
Inside of the carriage sat two women, both wearing the garb of a priestess. One was idly staring out the window and giving an occasional sigh, while the other was ranting about how miserable everything was. "...And then there's this rain!" The second woman continued with a frustrated tone, "It's bad enough that we have to discuss anything with that horrid creature. It just makes me so mad, I could just... Ugh!" She stomped on the floor angrily, causing the carriage to shake slightly.
"Calm down, Aerid," The first woman said with a tinge of irritation in her voice, "We're almost there. You complaining about it won't get us there any faster, and the sooner we've done our business, the sooner we can return to the Temple."
Aerid pouted. "I know, Lenna, I know! I just don't see why we aren't just sending paladins to go smite the damn thing. I'm still not sure why they sent my on this mission. I mean, sending you is an obvious choice, but me? I'm of noble blood, I shouldn't have to be making deals with a-" A boom of thunder cut her off, giving Lenna a chance to speak.
"They did send paladins," Lenna explained as her brow furrowed, "A full squad of them, in fact. Only one returned. In a cart. With most of his bones shattered. The fact that he was alive at all was a miracle. Did you not read the reports?" Aerid paled at that information.
"So we're going to negotiate with a monster that killed an entire squad of paladins? Us, a pair of acolytes, are going to have to have a discussion with something that has that much power?" Aerid looked almost ready to faint, and while it would certainly be nice to have some time without her continuous tirade, Lenna needed her to be conscious for the negotiations.
"If you had read the reports like you were supposed to, you would have known that there was a letter with the paladin. In fact, I have a copy of it now." Lenna pulled out a piece of paper, which Aerid quickly snatched and scanned frantically. Lenna sighed again. Dealing with Aerid was always a pain. Hopefully they wouldn't be put on many assignments together after this, seeing as they meshed as well as water and oil.
Aerid began to read, mumbling parts of the note as she did. "Cordially invites... Original land owner... Discuss territorial boundaries... Exactly two clergy members, preferably female... Sincerely, Lord Vorgan Kesteros." Aerid paused when she finished, then looked up at Lenna, seemingly surprised. "Wait, that thing has claim over the land? I thought it was holy ground!"
Lenna waited for Aerid to hand back the letter, and wasn't surprised when she didn't. Knowing Aerid, she probably forgot she was holding it. "From what I've heard," Lenna said, sounding far more patient than she was feeling, "Most of the high priests thought so too. But then some researcher found proof that the land was actually owned by nobility before we acquired it."
After pondering this statement for a while, Aerid said hesitantly, "So you're saying that this 'Vorgan Kesteros' person owned the land, then the Order acquired it later?"
"Yeah, that's right. Now we have someone or something claiming to be Lord Kesteros. If it's actually Lord Kesteros, it has the right to that territory."
"But it's undead! Undead things can't own land!" Aerid exclaimed indignantly.
"Actually, there are no laws against it. As long as Lord Kesteros rightfully inherited the territory, which he did, and no other noble family has claimed it, he still owns the place. Since the Order, not a noble family, claimed the land, it's still technically owned by Lord Kesteros. So as long as this thing is who it claims to be, it doesn't matter whether it's alive or dead." The corners of Lenna's mouth rose a bit. All of the studying she did was worth it to see Aerid struck speechless, even if it was because of something that was fairly grim.
Aerid opened her mouth to protest, but before she could get a word out, the carriage rolled to a stop. The door was opened by a thoroughly drenched coachman. "We're here, ladies," He said, shivering from the now-lightening rain. Aerid and Lenna stepped out of the carriage onto a dirt path, both shivering for reasons other than the heavy fog. "May the gods grant you their favor," The coachman whispered as the pair walked into the mists, watching them until they were out of sight.
Part 1
The wheels of the carriage clattered against the aged stone road as large droplets of water splashed on the roof. The coachman was completely drenched, having been driving through a good two hours of rain. Even though he was terribly soaked, he was glad for the heavy downpour. After all, it was the only thing preventing him from hearing the stream of complaints that had come out of one of the passenger's mouths since she first stepped into his vehicle.
Inside of the carriage sat two women, both wearing the garb of a priestess. One was idly staring out the window and giving an occasional sigh, while the other was ranting about how miserable everything was. "...And then there's this rain!" The second woman continued with a frustrated tone, "It's bad enough that we have to discuss anything with that horrid creature. It just makes me so mad, I could just... Ugh!" She stomped on the floor angrily, causing the carriage to shake slightly.
"Calm down, Aerid," The first woman said with a tinge of irritation in her voice, "We're almost there. You complaining about it won't get us there any faster, and the sooner we've done our business, the sooner we can return to the Temple."
Aerid pouted. "I know, Lenna, I know! I just don't see why we aren't just sending paladins to go smite the damn thing. I'm still not sure why they sent my on this mission. I mean, sending you is an obvious choice, but me? I'm of noble blood, I shouldn't have to be making deals with a-" A boom of thunder cut her off, giving Lenna a chance to speak.
"They did send paladins," Lenna explained as her brow furrowed, "A full squad of them, in fact. Only one returned. In a cart. With most of his bones shattered. The fact that he was alive at all was a miracle. Did you not read the reports?" Aerid paled at that information.
"So we're going to negotiate with a monster that killed an entire squad of paladins? Us, a pair of acolytes, are going to have to have a discussion with something that has that much power?" Aerid looked almost ready to faint, and while it would certainly be nice to have some time without her continuous tirade, Lenna needed her to be conscious for the negotiations.
"If you had read the reports like you were supposed to, you would have known that there was a letter with the paladin. In fact, I have a copy of it now." Lenna pulled out a piece of paper, which Aerid quickly snatched and scanned frantically. Lenna sighed again. Dealing with Aerid was always a pain. Hopefully they wouldn't be put on many assignments together after this, seeing as they meshed as well as water and oil.
Aerid began to read, mumbling parts of the note as she did. "Cordially invites... Original land owner... Discuss territorial boundaries... Exactly two clergy members, preferably female... Sincerely, Lord Vorgan Kesteros." Aerid paused when she finished, then looked up at Lenna, seemingly surprised. "Wait, that thing has claim over the land? I thought it was holy ground!"
Lenna waited for Aerid to hand back the letter, and wasn't surprised when she didn't. Knowing Aerid, she probably forgot she was holding it. "From what I've heard," Lenna said, sounding far more patient than she was feeling, "Most of the high priests thought so too. But then some researcher found proof that the land was actually owned by nobility before we acquired it."
After pondering this statement for a while, Aerid said hesitantly, "So you're saying that this 'Vorgan Kesteros' person owned the land, then the Order acquired it later?"
"Yeah, that's right. Now we have someone or something claiming to be Lord Kesteros. If it's actually Lord Kesteros, it has the right to that territory."
"But it's undead! Undead things can't own land!" Aerid exclaimed indignantly.
"Actually, there are no laws against it. As long as Lord Kesteros rightfully inherited the territory, which he did, and no other noble family has claimed it, he still owns the place. Since the Order, not a noble family, claimed the land, it's still technically owned by Lord Kesteros. So as long as this thing is who it claims to be, it doesn't matter whether it's alive or dead." The corners of Lenna's mouth rose a bit. All of the studying she did was worth it to see Aerid struck speechless, even if it was because of something that was fairly grim.
Aerid opened her mouth to protest, but before she could get a word out, the carriage rolled to a stop. The door was opened by a thoroughly drenched coachman. "We're here, ladies," He said, shivering from the now-lightening rain. Aerid and Lenna stepped out of the carriage onto a dirt path, both shivering for reasons other than the heavy fog. "May the gods grant you their favor," The coachman whispered as the pair walked into the mists, watching them until they were out of sight.