Some Rather Odd [Spells]

[mikeejimbo]

Create Eggs

Conjuration(Creation)
Level: Clr 0, Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 act
Range: Close
Effect: Creation of two eggs from a small bird
Duration: 24 hours; see text
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

This spell creates two eggs from a small bird of the caster's choosing. (Such as a chicken, quail, turkey, etc.) The eggs are good for 24 hours, after which they begin to rot. They can be kept fresh for another 24 hours by casting Purify Food and Drink on them. If they are kept fresh and warm for the gestation period of the particular bird, it will hatch.

Arcane Focus: A feather (not necessarily from the kind of bird whose eggs you are creating)

I thought up this spell a while ago, but I forgot why I wanted to be able to summon eggs. The intention is that they are edible, of course, and with Create Food and Water, this spell is redundant, but still amusing.

Create Awakened Potted Petunia

Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 act
Range: Long
Effect: One Awakened Potted Petunia appears
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

Due to the odd nature of reality, this spell is easily cast, and so is only a 3rd level spell, even though it creates an awakened plant. In a pot. The petunia itself, however, cannot move or communicate on its own (though if anyone can speak with plants, they could), but is completely aware of its surroundings. The petunia may even be summoned inside of another creature.

Material Component: One piece of ammo from a missile weapon

Create Whale

Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 act
Range: Long
Effect: One Whale Appears, in mid-air, preferably.
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

Due to the odd nature of reality, this spell is easily cast, and so is only a 3rd level spell, even though it creates an entire whale. In the middle of the air. The whale itself may try to act like a normal whale, but upon suddenly being poofed into existence, it may begin pondering about the universe. Like what all this stuff rushing past him is. Or what that big thing rushing up to meet him is, and if it'll be his friend.

Material Component: One piece of ammo from a missile weapon

Conjure 'Tea'

Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 hour
Range: Close
Effect: One cup of a substance almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

For one hour, you attempt to explain to the universe what tea is and how to make it. After that, a cup of a substance almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea appears.

[Arbitrarity]

If the petunia dies, does it seek revenge?

And say "not again..."?

*Throws eggs at you*

EDIT: Ah.

[mikeejimbo]

Of course it does.

[ChomZ]

Well.. if we're going to be sommoning a potted plant that seeks revenge.. why not a sperm whale that falls from the sky?? it could think about how fun existance is and become friends with the ground just before impact and deal 12d10 damage

[mikeejimbo]

Well.. if we're going to be sommoning a potted plant that seeks revenge.. why not a sperm whale that falls from the sky?? it could think about how fun existance is and become friends with the ground just before impact and deal 12d10 damage

Well, you can already summon those with one of the Summon Monster spells. :smallbiggrin: That's actually what inspired the petunias.

[jindra34]

Well, you can already summon those with one of the Summon Monster spells. :smallbiggrin: That's actually what inspired the petunias.

What about a spell to turn stuff into said petunias and whales... or a spell that takes 1 hour and makes a cup of Tea...

[Magnor Criol]

But it has to be horrible-tasting tea. Not at all the stuff you want.

How about turning people into yarn for a short period of time, until, say, normalcy has returned?

[ChomZ]

What about a spell for which the component is a phone number that never seems to work, and the outcome is the most outragiously coincedental yet seemingly unimportant thing the DM can think of?

[mikeejimbo]

Ooh yeah, good ideas.

[Danin]

How about a spell that summons a mob of rather respectable scientists to come linch people?

[lacesmcawesome]

Or how about a spell that moves the undergarments of a target a few feet to the left of them?

I like both of the spells. And hey, the eggs could come in handy. Do they do any damage? Like, could you chuck them at someone and do like 1d3 damage, or give them selmonella?

Hmm... the selmonella idea actually might work. Give it a fort save of like, DC10 or something, and if the person fails... I'm sure you're familiar with the effects of selmonella, right?

[ChomZ]

I like the one about moving the targets undergarments.. unfortunately by creating that spell, you'll never be invited to a party where that sort of spell is used.. sorry bud

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Or a spell which does something. except every time... its different. it does whatever the DM's feelinglike. Man i love these threads.

[jindra34]

Or a spell which does something. except every time... its different. it does whatever the DM's feelinglike. Man i love these threads.

Call said spell Whimsy.

[mikeejimbo]

Or how about a spell that moves the undergarments of a target a few feet to the left of them?

I like both of the spells. And hey, the eggs could come in handy. Do they do any damage? Like, could you chuck them at someone and do like 1d3 damage, or give them selmonella?

Hmm... the selmonella idea actually might work. Give it a fort save of like, DC10 or something, and if the person fails... I'm sure you're familiar with the effects of selmonella, right?

Hmm, well they'd probably do damage much like a bullet (for a sling) and if you let them rot a few days, no tellin' what could happen.

Yeah, they don't disappear, they just rot. :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Iames Osari]

What about a spell to turn stuff into said petunias and whales... or a spell that takes 1 hour and makes a cup of Tea...

No, no, no. *shakes head* It doesn't make tea.

It makes something which is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

[Collin152]

Call said spell Whimsy.

So, it's like the spell form of a rod of wonder?
What's its higher level equivelant? Deus ex Machina?

[jindra34]

So, it's like the spell form of a rod of wonder?
What's its higher level equivelant? Deus ex Machina?

no Greater Whimsy

[Collin152]

Oh you're no fun.

[lacesmcawesome]

Hmm, well they'd probably do damage much like a bullet (for a sling) and if you let them rot a few days, no tellin' what could happen.

Yeah, they don't disappear, they just rot. :smallbiggrin:

Well, they don't need to rot to become a health hazard. Raw eggs = salmonella. I wonder what the percentage of salmonella in eggs (in real life) is.

Maybe, if you find that like, 15 percent (totally just pulled that number off the top of my head) of raw eggs contain salmonella, then throw the egg at someone, then roll the d%, and if it's 01-15, the person has to make a fort save against it. Not sure what the RAW would call for the DC.

This could totally be an effective weapon. I mean, the BBEG is *not* going to be doing much global conquesting if he's got some nasty diarrhea, right? I guess actual poison might work better. But hey, if you're out of poison, just throw an egg.

*EDIT*
found the percentage. According to http://www.mercola.com/2002/nov/13/eggs.htm, only 0.003 percent of raw eggs contain salmonella.

So... nevermind.

[Vaniel]

For the summoning of the two eggs. Modifiy the text so that if you continue to cast purify food and water, that after X days, it hatches! :D

[Maldraugedhen]

Fear my whimsy!

My Whimsy is Greater than yours!

[DracoDei]

I thought up this spell a while ago, but I forgot why I wanted to be able to summon eggs. The intention is that they are edible, of course, and with Create Food and Water, this spell is redundant, but still amusing.
Well, obviously... every powerful teenage sorcerer on the Chaotic side of the alignment spectrum is going to want this so they can egg the house of that crazy old geezer who keeps yelling at them to "Git of my lawn yah punks... show some respect for someone in a higher age category than you...<mutter>...<mumble> kids these days..<mutter>...<mumble>." while maintaining plausible deniability(sp) if they are caught on the way in is going to have this spell.

Although for the level it probably should do a round dozen... :smallbiggrin:

[Demented]

Oh, well, in that case we need the "Summon Toilet Paper Roll" spell. We've already got Create Water....

[Destro_Yersul]

How about a spell that summons a floating sofa? Or a spell that transports one to the restaurant at the end of the universe?

[mikeejimbo]

For the summoning of the two eggs. Modifiy the text so that if you continue to cast purify food and water, that after X days, it hatches! :D

You know, I actually considered that. I just may, but I'll also have to get around to these other great spell Ideas. Yes, with a capital I.



Although for the level it probably should do a round dozen... :smallbiggrin:

I don't recall why, but I really wanted it to be 2. I think that's just sillier. I could lower the level of the spell...heck, it could be a cantrip.

[ChomZ]

What about a spell that makes the target think the entire landscape is the same shade of pink for about 24 hours?

[jindra34]

Gonna do whimsy sometime today...

[mikeejimbo]

What about a spell that makes the target think the entire landscape is the same shade of pink for about 24 hours?

You mean it's not?

[Matthew]

What, no Summon Towel Spell? I suppose you would be expected to have brought one...

[Magi_Ring_O]

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy...what a goldmine of ideas people can apply to their D&D games.

[lacesmcawesome]

What, no Summon Towel Spell? I suppose you would be expected to have brought one...

why...?

wouldn't you have? I mean, it's like breathing. You don't forget to breathe (unless you are some sort of abomination of nature), neither do you forget to bring your towel (unless you are some sort of abomination of nature. or just stupid)

but, along those lines and the lines of magic:

A hitchhiker's towel as a magic item. It serves as everlasting rations, a shelter, pillow, cloak, etc.

That'd be sweet. I'd spend my gp on it.

[mikeejimbo]

Yeah, it costs 42,000 though.