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Nifft
2015-08-24, 07:41 AM
From the thread originally over here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?436234-Why-a-high-level-Wizard), some fun ideas about why a high-level NPC would choose to send a bunch of low-level nobodies on a quest that the high-level NPC could theoretically accomplish much more easily him- or her- (or its-) self.


#1 - Training young Adventurers is one cheap & easy way for the (secretly evil) Wizard to get level-appropriate bundles of XP to deliver themselves right through the front door for harvesting.

#2 - The Prophecy. Yeah, the one with dragons or stars or some kind of doom.

#3 - If s/he leaves the Wizard tower, the Dragon Cohort and the regular Cohort will fight. Again.

#4 - The Wizard is so old s/he has to prepare spells the 1e way, and that eats up literally days of time between outings. These whippersnappers can prepare a day's worth of spells in under an hour. Let them do the busy-work.

#5 - While the adventurers are away, the Wizard can date that one adventurer's cute sibling.

Rainbownaga
2015-08-24, 07:50 AM
6. Could totally do it themselves, but really can't be bothered.

TheCountAlucard
2015-08-24, 07:53 AM
7) He's a specialist wizard, and he took "plot-solving spells" as one of his banned schools.
8) It's easier to just send newbies to the Arachnocaves than research a spell to cure his fear of spiders.

Fri
2015-08-24, 08:09 AM
The wizard has agoraphobia and even thinking about researching spell to cure it triggers his phobia.

noob
2015-08-24, 08:13 AM
10) He casts spells for preventing from becoming Evil and then make them get outside and become stronger for helping Good forces because he is evil(which is Exalted Good)

Ninja_Prawn
2015-08-24, 08:23 AM
11. The wizard has much more important problems to deal with. Sure, Morg's Goblin Horde is worrying, but there's a whole family of blue dragons about to invade.
12. The wizard has spent too long testing his own alchemical recipes and his Constitution score is now 4.
13. The wizard isn't sure that her intel is correct, so she wants to be able to deny involvement if it turns out to be wrong.
14. The quest requires divine magic to solve, and the wizard is unwilling to work with a cleric.
15. The wizard is a wanted criminal and someone's finally assembled a force capable of arresting them if they leave their tower.
16. The wizard is actually a doppelganger.
17. The quest is a trap.
18. The wizard is halfway through creating a permanent Teleportation Circle or Mordenkainen's Private Sanctum and can't afford to leave his location for more than a day.

JAL_1138
2015-08-24, 08:24 AM
19) Too busy making Sovereign Glue under the 5e crafting rules. Gonna be busy for the next...54 years and 276 days.

Nifft
2015-08-24, 08:26 AM
10) Too busy making Sovereign Glue under the 5e crafting rules. Gonna be busy for the next...54 years and 290 days.

"Why are you stuck in your tower?"
"Sovereign Glue."

noob
2015-08-24, 08:32 AM
20: The wizard wants the pizza and thinks that a pizza carried by a team of young adventurers is better.

JAL_1138
2015-08-24, 08:32 AM
"Why are you stuck in your tower?"
"Sovereign Glue."

It really does glue everything to the spot...even the crafter's time.

goto124
2015-08-24, 08:59 AM
21: Her joints hurt. All of them.

22: She lacks the energy to go adventuring.

What? She's really old, and there're some things that even healing spells just can't fix!

Segev
2015-08-24, 09:05 AM
23. The wizard is lazy, and sending you to do it is easier than doing it himself.
24. The wizard is retired, dagnabbit.
25. See that antechamber full of other adventuring parties? They're not competing with you for this quest; the wizard has THAT MANY things he needs done. The other 4 towers have the rest of the wizard's party split between them, and they've got just as many quests to send adventurers on. When they're done, they'll be heading out for one of their own, but they can't leave these little messes unattended.
26. It's either send you guys or send a few planar bound minions, and you're cheaper.

Ninja_Prawn
2015-08-24, 09:06 AM
27. Her favourite sports team/gladiator are playing/fighting tomorrow. She couldn't possibly miss that!
28. His arcane garden needs very specific care and no one else could keep his precious plants alive.

VoxRationis
2015-08-24, 09:13 AM
29. They have a rival of equal level and the two of them are always subtly maneuvering to get the upper hand. Wasting spells on a dungeon crawl would invite a scry-and-die response from their rival.

30. Sending low-level adventurers on quests is an effective form of population control.

noob
2015-08-24, 09:15 AM
31: the wizard is high level but he only have 20 commoner levels and one wizard level and so an level 10 wizard is going to be better than him.

Socksy
2015-08-24, 09:21 AM
31?) He's in a wheelchair, paralysed, or otherwise physically incapable of adventuring successfully.
32) He's really shy and it's a diplomacy quest.
33) He's on his honeymoon and can't be bothered dealing with the Kraken right now.
34) Quest lies in a wild magic zone or antimagic field.

Ninja_Prawn
2015-08-24, 09:22 AM
36. The wizard knows that this quest will require the killing of sapient creatures, and they're not comfortable doing that themselves. A layer of abstraction helps soothe their conscience.
37. The wizard suspects the quest may cause some collateral damage, and they don't want to have to pay for repairs.
38. A sorcerer challenged the wizard to take on the quest, and he wants to prove that wizards are better than sorcerers, so he sends some low level guys to do it.

noob
2015-08-24, 09:28 AM
39: This wizard had a bad experience with ice assassin of aleaxes and with simulacrum and with bound exteriors and so he then try adventurers.

Jormengand
2015-08-24, 09:30 AM
38. A sorcerer challenged the wizard to take on he quest, and he wants to prove that wizards are better than sorcerers, so he sends some low level guys to do it.

My low level guys have no defence!

40: In 3.5, it's far cheaper to send a low-level wizard on a few quests, then once he's about level 13, 15 if you're feeling confident, murder him and steal all the spells from his book than actually go out and buy scrolls of the damned things.
41: Ditto, but money isn't a problem: lack of readily-accessible magic mart is.
42: You're a truenamer, and he wants to get you high enough level to Dominate your Person to force you to perform Rebuild Item hacks.
43: Ditto psion ditto true mind switch ditto.
44: To get you out of the way.

noob
2015-08-24, 09:32 AM
45: Those adventurers thanks to TO are 1310604058005480450725046047203487 times power-fuller than the sum of everything in the multiverse and so that mere level 15 wizards see them as able to do things greater than what he can do because he did not used TO.
46: He does not wants to go in the far realms himself because it is a too much sane place.

JAL_1138
2015-08-24, 09:33 AM
47) She has to go visit Mordenkainen (presumably to complain about some of his named spells being too high-level for the results to justify).

Edit: also, what the heck does TO stand for?

Ninja_Prawn
2015-08-24, 09:38 AM
47) She has to go visit Mordenkainen (presumably to complain about some of his named spells being too high-level for the results to justify).

Also to get him to change his name to something easier to pronounce. Seriously, that guy needs a good talking-to.

noob
2015-08-24, 09:50 AM
" Edit: also, what the heck does TO stand for? "
joke/When a player makes a build no GM should ever allow who have infinite power and can solve all the situations instantly and have a nice Trophy Olivier./joke
It simply means theoretic optimization.

Fri
2015-08-24, 09:51 AM
47) She has to go visit Mordenkainen (presumably to complain about some of his named spells being too high-level for the results to justify).

Edit: also, what the heck does TO stand for?

Theoritical Optimization.

Also,

48. The Wizard have a thing for watching young sweaty lithe-bodied adventurers struggling through adversaries? Gotta use those scrying spells for something.

JAL_1138
2015-08-24, 09:56 AM
Also to get him to change his name to something easier to pronounce. Seriously, that guy needs a good talking-to.

Mor rhymes with lore, den like a bear lives in, kai rhymes with sky, nen rhymes with den. Emphasis on the first and possibly third syllable. Or am I wrong...?


Theoritical Optimization.


Ah. Thanks. Shows how out-of-touch I am...

Ninja_Prawn
2015-08-24, 09:59 AM
48. The Wizard have a thing for watching young sweaty lithe-bodied adventurers struggling through adversaries? Gotta use those scrying spells for something.

I like that one.

Job advert: athletic heroes wanted for quests, adventures, etc. Minimum level: 5, minimum hotness: 8. Barbarians/monks preferred. Applicants without portraits by reputable painters will not be considered.


Mor rhymes with lore, den like a bear lives in, kai rhymes with sky, nen rhymes with den. Emphasis on the first and possibly third syllable. Or am I wrong...?

Almost. MOR-den-KAY-nen. It's based on Finnish orthography.

JAL_1138
2015-08-24, 10:01 AM
49) He'd send his apprentice, but it's AD&D and there was a housecat-related incident...he doesn't have an apprentice anymore. Poor schmuck trod on its tail and it tore his throat right out in one round.

goto124
2015-08-24, 10:03 AM
48. The Wizard have a thing for watching young sweaty lithe-bodied adventurers struggling through adversaries? Gotta use those scrying spells for something.


Job advert: athletic heroes wanted for quests, adventures, etc. Minimum level: 5, minimum hotness: 8. Barbarians/monks preferred. Applicants without portraits by reputable painters will not be considered.

I like how 48 and even the job advert do not state the sexes and genders of the wizard, or the adventurers.

JAL_1138
2015-08-24, 10:06 AM
50) The adventure involves going near water and the wizard is too paranoid. In D&D, water = bad.

Ninja_Prawn
2015-08-24, 11:15 AM
51. The wizard respects the fact that this quest is a matter of personal honour to you.
52. You really need the money, so you begged him to let you take the job.
53. The wizard is testing you to see if you're worthy.
54. She's a chaotic neutral gnome illusionist. She doesn't believe in having reasons to do things.
55. Since the... Incident... the wizard has been subject to a Geas forbidding them to undertake any kind of quest, mission or adventure.

noob
2015-08-24, 11:47 AM
56: The wizard likes you and have sent you on a super easy quest so you will not harm yourself as much as if he did not gave you any quest because then you would have found an horribly dangerous quest given by someone else.

Takewo
2015-08-24, 11:54 AM
54. She's a chaotic neutral gnome illusionist. She doesn't believe in having reasons to do things.

I love that one.

57. The wizard had all his spell books stolen and can't prepare spells any more.

Ninja_Prawn
2015-08-24, 12:28 PM
I love that one.

Really? I was almost embarrassed to post it because it's such a cop out. You could use that for literally any '101 reasons for X' list.

Segev
2015-08-24, 12:37 PM
Really? I was almost embarrassed to post it because it's such a cop out. You could use that for literally any '101 reasons for X' list.

I'm kind-of picturing her as "the Oprah of quests," now.

"A quest for you! A quest for you! QUESTS FOR EVERYONE!"

Ninja_Prawn
2015-08-24, 12:46 PM
58. The DM is using the 'gritty realism', 'lingering injuries' and 'massive damage' variant rules, and this wizard took one too many crits on their last adventure...
59. The DM is using the 'potion miscibility' variant rules, and this wizard is now permanently trapped in a Gaseous Form.

Ninjadeadbeard
2015-08-24, 01:10 PM
60. Due to a magic-related issue that occurred many years previous, the Wizard is permanently bound to his tower and cannot move more than a few hundred feet away. He usually hires adventurers to get his mail and spell components.

Ninja_Prawn
2015-08-24, 01:55 PM
61. The Holy MacGuffin only responds to the touch of someone with a good heart. This wizard is just a little bit too lawful neutral for it to work.
62. This part of the quest is set in the obligatory sewer level. This wizard is super-not-into-that, yo.
63. The mission will require travel by air or sea, and the wizard gets vertigo/sea sickness.

Takewo
2015-08-24, 02:01 PM
64. The wizard has a shop where he sells magic items. His days of adventuring are past and now he is more of a businessman.
65. The quest does not involve casting any fire balls and the wizard is not really keen on doing anything that does not involve casting fire balls.

Socksy
2015-08-24, 02:10 PM
66. His bed is REALLY comfy.
67. He's managed to polymorph himself into a house cat and now everyone else is too scared to come near him. :smallfrown:

Ninja_Prawn
2015-08-24, 02:18 PM
64. The wizard has a shop where he sells magic items. His days of adventuring are past and now he is more of a businessman.

Reminds me of Recettear! What a game.

Adrastos42
2015-08-24, 03:17 PM
68. The dungeon's final boss is their ex, and things are still awkward between them.
69. The wizard has a hot date to get ready for, they don't have time for quests!
70. The wizard doesn't actually care about the quest, they just want you to stop bothering them and go away.

TheTeaMustFlow
2015-08-24, 03:18 PM
65. The wizard is part of the NPC's Guild, and their going adventuring would start a demarcation dispute with the Adventurer's Guild. (And demarcation disputes are really unpleasant in a world where Inevitables are a thing).
66. Because if YOU go and deal with it, it'll just be kobolds. If HE goes and deals with it, the DM will make them into demon kobolds or something.
67. He's on holiday in Bytopia.

noob
2015-08-24, 04:10 PM
74: The wizard is in fact unable to use magic because he have an int of 6 and is a barbarian.

Lord Raziere
2015-08-24, 04:31 PM
75. Because he believes himself to be above mere adventuring and sends other people to do such foolish work
76. He is also a noble or other ruler and has this place to rule and spells to maintain for the common people, got to make sure the water keeps running y'know...
77. He has this super-secret master plan that needs other people because if he did it himself it would give things away.
78. There is a really powerful demon sealed in his tower and he needs to stay there to make sure no one gets in....and the demon doesn't get out.
79. Because he firmly believes in giving those youngsters a chance to take a go at things, wot wot?
80. He is secretly under a Curse of Forgetfulness, and can't remember ANY of his spells

ORione
2015-08-24, 04:56 PM
81. Option A: Go into a cold, damp dungeon filled with traps, diseases, and creatures trying to kill you, and empty of books or comfortable seating.
Option B: Send a group of adventurers into the dungeon. Spend the evening reading in your comfortable armchair next to the fireplace.

Gee, tough decision.

noob
2015-08-24, 05:00 PM
82: Like 81 except you have cute intelligent children you are responsible for.

Lord Raziere
2015-08-24, 05:31 PM
83: Because the wizard is secretly the host of this interdimensional reality tv show called "Adventure Fails" and is recording you in hopes of showing people your hilarious screw ups, which will inevitably result from your deeds.

LongVin
2015-08-24, 06:29 PM
84. The King told the wizard to take care of this matter but didn't give precise instructions that he wanted the wizard to PERSONALLY take care of it.

bulbaquil
2015-08-24, 08:52 PM
85. The wizard is too busy reading this month's edition of Demiplane Designer Magazine.

86. Because he's getting into this newfangled "outsourcing" craze all the business moguls are talking about

87. Because he has more important things to do, and after all there are only 24 hours plus (4d4+4)*6 seconds in a day.

88. The wizard is actually a diplomancer bard with something like a +45 to Bluff who has fooled everyone, especially including the king, into believing he is a wizard - but, despite what he claims, he is technically still only tier 3, not tier 1, and doesn't have the right spells in his spontaneous casting list for this particular dungeon.

89. The DM has nerfed casters so drastically that, after applying all relevant house rules, a party of four level 1 Fighters is actually more likely to be able to complete the quest than a single level-20 wizard.

Unscrewed
2015-08-24, 09:04 PM
90: Because she honestly feels that his research is more important, and anyways, this is entirely within the party's capabilities. No need to waste her own time on this.

91: Political reasons. The quest requires the party to travel through or work in the territory of somebody he's royally pissed off.

JAL_1138
2015-08-24, 09:16 PM
92) The wizard has been stuck with the cursed item called the Ring of Bureaucratic Wizardry (yes, it was a real item), and must fill out detailed forms in triplicate (for each spell) before any spells can be cast. The added casting time makes it virtually impossible to solo a dungeon, and while you're at it could you please take a message to a cleric who knows Remove Curse.

MrZJunior
2015-08-24, 10:00 PM
93) The wizard understands the ecosystem of adventure. Past adventurers need to leave plot hooks lying around and give out quests to up and coming parties to keep the whole system going.

Raimun
2015-08-24, 10:57 PM
94. Wizards do get bored just like you and me. When this happens, they might send someone to a quest, if they can't think of anything else. "Wizards: No sense of right and wrong."

Mando Knight
2015-08-24, 11:08 PM
95. The gods are debating canceling this whole "reality" thing, and the Wizard has been hired on as legal advisor to mortals tasked to plead the "Please let us continue existing" case, and so he really doesn't have any time to stop some two-bit necromancer.

JAL_1138
2015-08-24, 11:24 PM
96) The elven wizard is attending a funeral for one of their former adventuring companions tomorrow, a human who died of old age. The wizard has to make a speech, and even after slaying avatars of gods, eldritch horrors from beyond the stars, and demons from the abyss, writing it is the hardest thing they've ever done. Someone else is going to have to handle this quest.

Ninja_Prawn
2015-08-25, 01:18 AM
97. The wizard doesn't want to get his fancy robes dirty and torn or mess up his hair. Hey, it took all day to get it looking this shiny!
98. The wizard is afflicted with a curse of berserking and is afraid of what might happen if she gets into a fight.
99. The wizard has so many gambling debts that there's no point gathering loot - it'd be immediately taken by the creditors.

JBiddles
2015-08-25, 04:45 AM
100. The wizard is deathly afraid of heights; leaving the tower would mean having to look down.

(The Teleport-blocking spells on the tower seemed such a good idea at the time.)

goto124
2015-08-25, 05:05 AM
61. The Holy MacGuffin only responds to the touch of someone with a good heart. This wizard is just a little bit too lawful neutral for it to work.

101. The quest requires a traditional virgin (young maiden who's pure and innocent in every way). An old man spending so much time with a girl like that is suspicious.

Whoops.

_Jarlaxle_
2015-08-25, 05:16 AM
102. Because if he leaves his tower a bunch of random monsters will move in (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0191.html).

Storm_Of_Snow
2015-08-25, 06:40 AM
103. They need what they're sending the party after, but they also need to go and personally collect alchemical ingredients that are only available for a short period of time, and won't be available again for a long time.

104. They need to stay close to the local ruler and "interpret the heavens" for them, otherwise they'll do something stupid like declare war on the neighbouring country. The next in line to the throne is even worse, and, for whatever reason, the Mage can't get rid of all of them at once. However, one of the PCs could be suitable to do something obviously heroic, marry into the ruler's family and the mage can then work out how to elevate them (or more likely one of their offspring, with them as regent) to the throne.

105. They're spending a year dead for tax reasons. :smallwink:

Segev
2015-08-25, 12:07 PM
106. They cast disjunction on an artifact years ago, and have been hiding the fact that they can't cast spells anymore ever since.

ORione
2015-08-25, 04:37 PM
107. The wizard is a nudist (you'd be surprised how much better spellcasting is with total freedom of movement), and it's illegal to go outside without wearing clothes.

noob
2015-08-25, 04:44 PM
108: the wizard did not slept nor ate for all his adventuring and he is enjoying sleeping and eating like when there was not a priest casting spells to ward off tiredness and hunger.

Segev
2015-08-25, 04:47 PM
109. The "wizard" is actually a hallucination your party collectively had while under the effects of fumes in this abandoned wizard's tower.

noob
2015-08-25, 04:50 PM
110: It was in fact the gm which was the most affected by the hallucinogenic fumes.

bulbaquil
2015-08-25, 06:09 PM
111. The extremely Lawful Neutral-aligned wizard has signed a non-compete agreement with the employer of the PCs, and would sooner let the entire multiverse go to shambles than break a contract.

noob
2015-08-25, 06:15 PM
112:There is one thing which can not be solved by spells and it is so much absurd nothing have sense anymore the wizard have sent you to defeat a sarrukh because he knows nothing is possible against one sarrukh unless the GM starts doing deus ex machina which is somethings he does only when there is players around.
he is shortly disintegrated by the gm because of his meta-gaming.

ArcanaFire
2015-08-26, 03:35 AM
113. This quest is legitimately beneath her, that's like asking her to sweep the floors, why do it when she can pay someone else to?

114. She's the guildmaster and if she leaves then crap is going to hit the fan in her absence, ergo you get to go clean out the dire rats from the sewers.

115. She wants to finish the latest installment of this book series she loves before her witch of a sister comes over and starts spoiling it for her.

116. You already did such a good job on the last job that she may as well go ahead and let you take this one too, after all good help is hard to find and she doesn't want you running off to work for a rival.

Ninja_Prawn
2015-08-26, 03:42 AM
116. You already did such a good job on the last job that she may as well go ahead and let you take this one too, after all good help is hard to find and she doesn't want you running off to work for a rival.

117. The government is paying her a subsidy to create jobs for young, unemployed adventurers.

Orderic
2015-08-26, 04:48 AM
118. She enjoys creating highly confusing quests to send adventurers on.

JAL_1138
2015-08-26, 07:11 AM
119: It's laundry day and Prestidigitation-ing everything clean one cubic foot at a time is still gonna take a while.

120: The necromancer ze's sending you to kill is an old friend and ze can't bear to kill him zerself, even though scry-and-die tactics could take care of it in a little over an hour.

121: The wizard needs to consult a guild-certified architect before magic-ing up a replacement tower for the one that fell over yesterday. If you could handle this quest in the meantime, that'd be much appreciated.

122: The wizard called a repair tech to fix a crystal ball that's on the fritz, but the appointment window is "between midmorning today and midnight this Thursday" and someone has to be here.

Kami2awa
2015-08-29, 11:05 AM
123. Since that Acererak guy had the idea, every dungeon has been full of magic-proof adamantine doors, AMFs, ethereal defences, anti-teleport runes and other stuff to avoid high-level wizards simply bypassing all the defences.

124. It's a Gygaxian dungeon and even a high-level wizard doesn't want to risk all those undetectable save-or-instakill traps.

Braininthejar2
2015-08-29, 11:44 AM
125: bacause "the cost of sending a bunch of adventurers to spend weeks searching the mountains for an obscure flower" is where magic item crafting costs come from.

126: because if he does it personally, his name will appear in the description in the books of fate - and he doesn't want his rivals to read what he's up to.

JAL_1138
2015-08-29, 05:49 PM
127: Couldn't find a sitter. It's much easier to find disposable murderhobos brave and capable adventurers to go to the dungeon.

128: Under house arrest for using divination when stock-trading.

noob
2015-08-29, 05:55 PM
129:he have invited people because he is not a paranoiac wizard and he does not wants to be outside when the invited people comes.

Wardog
2015-08-30, 03:36 PM
130: The wizard and the BBEG are in a "Cold War"-style situation, where neither wants to risk direct confrontation and so use disposable proxies to fight their battles for them.

NRSASD
2015-08-30, 04:08 PM
131: The wizard is still struggling to get over the aftermath of developing Stockholm Syndrome at 1st level with his cat familiar.

132: The wizard polymorphed herself into a cat to give those unsuspecting, young 3rd-5th Edition wizard apprentices a taste of 1st Edition wizardly paranoia.

ReaderAt2046
2015-08-30, 05:01 PM
133: Having lower-lever adventurers do your quests for you is a status symbol among high-level wizards.

Mr. Bitter
2015-08-30, 05:20 PM
134. The wizard is a germaphobe. Yes, he knows about germs. He's a wizard.

noob
2015-08-30, 05:43 PM
135: his 50 int and 30 wisdom and 80 years of aging allowed him to understand that murdering was not something he could withstand but somehow he thinks that you will not be a bunch of murder hobo because he trust you.

Scowling Dragon
2015-08-30, 06:46 PM
136: Physical pain. People often forget that Damage taken hurts. You just don't want to get hurt. No matter how likely you are to be triumphant with no problem.
137: The Wizard is also a king. You got more fish to fry at once.

ArcanaFire
2015-09-01, 08:22 PM
138. The wizard remembers when /she/ was a young adventurer and getting sent on errands by other people and is excited to be the person that gets to tell you how high to jump.

Nifft
2015-09-02, 09:10 PM
138. The wizard remembers when /she/ was a young adventurer and getting sent on errands by other people and is excited to be the person that gets to tell you how high to jump.

"But you have a long, white beard."

"What of it?"

"You're a woman."

"Yes. The beard is reason number 139 why I no longer go on adventures myself. Now go where I tell you, and kill all the things you find."

JAL_1138
2015-09-02, 10:22 PM
140: The wizard's housecat kept him awake all night, meowing its head off and galloping through the hallways like a herd of stampeding wildebeest. Too tired to go dungeon-crawling.

braveheart
2015-09-03, 04:43 PM
141. Sir Bearington has decided to convince you that he is a wizard
"How dare you insult Sir Bearington by insinuating that he is not what he says he is"
"Wraaaaaagh" (34 on bluff after modifiers)
"Indeed Sir Bearington, now adventurers be on your way"

Jay R
2015-09-03, 05:08 PM
142. “I want you to go to the black swamps of Telgar to investigate why people are disappearing there.”
“Don’t you have a squad of extremely high-level ninjas rumored to be the best in the world at that sort of spying?”
“Yes. I’m sending you in to investigate what happened to them.”

The Glyphstone
2015-09-03, 07:30 PM
143: The wizard is like, suuuuuuper high dudes, I mean like, they can see colors that don't exist, man...this stuff is sooooo good. But the quest can't wait for them to sober up.

Jay R
2015-09-04, 08:09 AM
144. In a Flashing Blades campaign, I had Richelieu invent a series of missions that took the party all over Europe because, while their success rate was excellent, the collateral damage was too high (chateaus set on fire to erase clues, riots begun to distract the authorities, etc.). Richelieu finally concluded that he wanted that level of chaos and destruction to take place elsewhere than France.

TheTeaMustFlow
2015-09-04, 09:44 AM
144. In a Flashing Blades campaign, I had Richelieu invent a series of missions that took the party all over Europe because, while their success rate was excellent, the collateral damage was too high (chateaus set on fire to erase clues, riots begun to distract the authorities, etc.). Richelieu finally concluded that he wanted that level of chaos and destruction to take place elsewhere than France.

145. Because Cardinal Richelieu would rather not have his wizarding powers known to the general populace.

NRSASD
2015-09-04, 11:06 AM
146. Because Cardinal Richelieu needs to make sure that the Cardinal Richelieu impersonator doesn't escape again... https://youtu.be/FEVAGVaEaVo?t=34

Jay R
2015-09-04, 01:02 PM
Yes, I know that Richelieu isn't a wizard. I just thought the idea of getting the PCs out of town worked better with a concrete example, which I had.

147. The characters are hired by a Great White Wizard to sneak into the Black Mage’s castle to steal the Ruby of Power in his throne that is the source of his power. After they go through the traps, monsters and other dangers outside, they have to make their way through the guards and castle traps, finally arriving at the treasure vault, to find the Great White Wizard calmly sitting and holding the ruby.

PC: “If you were coming here, why did you hire us?”

GWW: “To take all the risks, of course. Once the Black Mage’s full attention was bent on killing you, I had no trouble slipping in.”

PC: “Why didn’t you at least tell us?”

GWW: “Because the Black Mage can read lower-level minds. Why do you think none of your plans worked?"

braveheart
2015-09-04, 02:16 PM
148. Because if you buy the diamond you'll just be overcharged for it, but if he buys the diamond his rival will charge home everything he owns, including his soellbook

Jay R
2015-09-04, 02:25 PM
149. "Look, do you want the reward or not?"

sovin_ndore
2015-09-04, 02:50 PM
150. Gods are not Big Stupid Fighters.

In order to qualify as a Big Stupid Fighter he should be any character that actively tries to be the target of enemy attacks. For those who wonder why I would label this character as "stupid" regardless of their INT score - reread the previous sentence.

151. Outsource for plausable deniablility.

152. Action Economy. Because hordes of cheap mooks can do more things at once than he can... even with Sonerous Hum.

153. If low level adventurers and monsters are not fighting each other, how does he expect any of them to achieve a level where he can actually gain XP off killing them himself?

154. He doesn't want to miss the Quiddich World Cup.

155. Old age lead to Alzheimers. Alzheimers leads to lost spellbooks.

156. It's Bingo night.

157. Hundreds of years in telepathic link with your housecat (familiar) will do strange things to your psyche.

Jay R
2015-09-04, 02:58 PM
158. Doctors hire surgeons. Bureaucrats hire bureaucrats. Lawyers hire attorneys. Engineers hire engineers. Why wouldn't adventurers hire adventurers?

BootStrapTommy
2015-09-04, 10:42 PM
159. Because you are a much less lazy high level wizard than he is...

Jay R
2015-09-05, 08:21 AM
160. There's no good reason for him not to do it himself. He's just being lazy or stupid.

[By the way, when you get back, you notice that he has conquered the kingdom, destroyed the dragon lords of the north, researched two new ninth-level spells, and crafted several new high-level magic items.]

Fortis
2015-09-05, 10:41 AM
161. Because his wizard's tower is sitting on top of a breach to beyond the multiverse, and if he doesn't maintain the seal on a daily basis, tentacled horrors will emerge, and start eating people.

162. Because he has just managed to perfect his trans-dimensional scrying spell, and connected his crystal ball to the internet. He's way too busy looking up funny cat pictures.

163. Because you young whippersnappers need to stop messing around with the tavern wenches and go out and get a real job, dangnabbit!

Scowling Dragon
2015-09-05, 03:09 PM
164: After an accident with an even stronger Elven Archmages daughter (She told me she was 180!), the mage has to do some community service, and has done so in the form of a adventurer outreach program.

bulbaquil
2015-09-05, 06:39 PM
165. Because the GM has that "three natural 20s in a row = instant death" house rule, and there's always the chance that no matter how many defensive magics she has up, some bugbear ranger or something else incredibly stupid like that might still make that supposedly-1/8000-but-really-more-like-1/50 chance, and while, yes, she does have a Contingent Wish to reverse such misfortune, that doesn't necessarily mean the dice will stop rolling 20s (after all, they have a supposedly-5%-chance-but-really-more-like-25%-chance of doing so each subsequent roll). And at any rate, she doesn't want to actually trigger the contingency, because then she'd have to set the contingency back up again, which is a tedious process involving expensive not-easily-Fabricable spell components.

Excession
2015-09-06, 03:00 AM
166: Because if he gains any more XP he'll move out of the "under 18" bracket (levels that is) of the Wizard Tournament, and he's not quite ready to complete in the big leagues.

Balmas
2015-09-06, 04:02 AM
167. You know, he'd really love to adventure like he used to, but he's got a family to care for. I mean, have you seen his beard? Nearly three feet of luscious white silk. That stuff can't take care of itself, you know.

Cluedrew
2015-09-06, 11:53 AM
168.The wizard has slowly spreading "prophecies" about and gathering support for "the chosen heroes". Your adventuring party happens to match the description of the heroes which saves the effort of going out and collecting them up.

Jay R
2015-09-07, 11:59 AM
169. Because if the high-level wizard goes on the quest himself, then the CR of all the monsters will increase.

braveheart
2015-09-08, 02:25 PM
170) because he already cleared 10 dungeons this morning, and is getting down to just his emergency spells until he sleeps for the night

Daws2727
2015-09-08, 09:41 PM
#171: He has exams tommorow and he's gotta study.

Spamotron
2015-09-08, 11:19 PM
172: He has a bet going with another wizard about who can talk more young fools into facing near suicidal danger on a regular basis.

174: It's pizza night at the mage guild hall and he's not missing that for anything.

175: His dog is expecting a litter of puppies any day now and he needs to be there to help with the births. If the adventuring party does a good job he will consider letting them have one of the puppies.

JustSomeGuy
2015-09-09, 04:49 AM
Because if the adventurers are out questing in the swamps of tedium, they're not in his tower, stealing all his admantium doors and mithril fittings. Like the last time he left.

NRSASD
2015-09-09, 12:32 PM
176. He tried to rob a bank in Talisman City, rolled poorly, and is now getting in touch with his green side.

177. He's making the most of his sudden transformation and is attempting to seduce the local lady frogs.

178. He is actually the gameshow host of "Who wants to be an adventurer?" and is looking for new contestants.

179. The kingdom can fend for itself; it's Bingo night!

Thomas Hunter
2015-09-09, 02:40 PM
180. She's bored and has a level in Bard, so she's training up a group of adventurers to a high enough level that when she stabs them in the back, not only will it make a great story but she'll at least get a bit of a challenge when she crushes them.

Jay R
2015-09-09, 05:40 PM
181. Because if the Wizard does this quest himself, the DM has to invent a new quest for the PCs, by tomorrow afternoon.

Illven
2015-09-09, 06:29 PM
175: His dog is expecting a litter of puppies any day now and he needs to be there to help with the births. If the adventuring party does a good job he will consider letting them have one of the puppies.

Is it bad I kinda wanna use this one. :smallredface:

goto124
2015-09-09, 10:21 PM
178. He is actually the gameshow host of "Who wants to be an adventurer?" and is looking for new contestants.

178b) He sent them to a custom-made dungeon with hidden cameras everywhere. Of course he's making a reality TV show out of this, why lose out on the potential money and popularity?

Velaryon
2015-09-10, 01:46 AM
I have to say, I love the mixture of serious, potentially useful reasons and humorous jokes in this thread. :smallsmile:


182. This quest came up last-minute, and he's been planning his fishing trip for weeks.

183. He's already in trouble with the wife for missing their child's last game, and he doesn't want to miss it again.

184. She's on the verge of a major research breakthrough and can't be arsed to leave her laboratory right now for anything less than world-shattering emergency.

185. Hey, crafting that magical sword is very time-consuming! He doesn't have time to go running off halfway across the country on some fool quest.

186. Both switches need to be pressed at the same time, and she's going to get the first one while you get the second one.

187. Tomorrow is <religious holiday> and she has rites to observe, celebrations to attend, solemn fasting and prayer, etc.

188. That prankster apprentice of his put sovereign glue in the wizard's chair, and now he's got to craft some universal solvent before he can stand up.

189. It's 2-for-1 margarita night at the local tavern, and he's hoping to pick up some company for the night.

Daws2727
2015-09-10, 09:31 PM
190: He's busy working on his memoirs, and he certainly doesn't want to add more work to his list.

Segev
2015-09-11, 11:14 AM
191. The wizard is actually a programmed image; the real wizard is out on a quest of his own right now.

NRSASD
2015-09-11, 01:09 PM
192. The wizard is too busy doing PR damage control after her simulacrum got drunk and crashed the Oscars. Again.

Clistenes
2015-09-11, 01:29 PM
193. The wizard doesn't really know how dangerous the quest is, and if it is too much for him, so he sends increasingly more powerful parties every time.

If the 1st level party is killed, he sends a 2nd level party, and if that is killed too, he sends a 4th level party, and if that is killed too, he sends a 7th level party...etc.

Eventually either one of the parties succeed, which means the task wasn't worth his time, or all fail, which means the task is a really dangerous one and it was smart to not try to do it himself...

Jay R
2015-09-11, 01:55 PM
194. His ultimate plan requires five quests. So he has hired four parties, leaving the most lucrative one for himself.

sovin_ndore
2015-09-11, 02:36 PM
195. He knows the true value of "lower level adventuring parties". You see, their true nature is wealth delivery services. You send them on a few time consuming quests that involve killing and looting everything in their path, then they return to you with all the stuff (and likely most of their pre-existing WBL), making looting their corpses much more lucrative than slaying/looting hordes of monsters and villians built using the NPC WBL chart... and it wastes less of the wizard's time to boot!

NowhereMan583
2015-09-12, 11:45 AM
Is it bad I kinda wanna use this one. :smallredface:

I hope not, because I totally AM going to use this one.

Storm_Of_Snow
2015-09-14, 08:36 AM
196. The Mage's cousin runs a magic shop, and the Mage reckons he can buy magic items from PCs at half what his cousin can sell them for. And, of course, he can direct them to his cousin's shop when they need to buy their healing potions etc.

Jay R
2015-09-14, 11:51 AM
197. He knows the prophecy, that five parties will be destroyed questing for the Golden Monkey Idol of Insouciance before it can finally be recovered.

FabulousFizban
2015-09-14, 11:55 AM
because it's a suicide mission. I'm not going to do that, yeash. S'what I hire chumps like you for!

ThinkMinty
2015-09-14, 12:59 PM
198. The Wizard is really out of shape and the quest involves a lot of stairs.
199. The Wizard just had a baby and is either on maternity or paternity leave.
200. The Wizard made a bet that they could go X years without leaving their tower, and they're a month away from winning. Unfortunately, that quest needs to happen now.

goto124
2015-09-14, 01:18 PM
200. The Wizard made a bet that they could go X years without leaving their tower, and they're a month away from winning. Unfortunately, that quest needs to happen now.

200 b): The person on the other end of the bet caused the need for the quest, just to win said bet.

DigoDragon
2015-09-14, 02:25 PM
201. The wizard is actually you from the far future and this assures the stable time-loop of your success.

braveheart
2015-09-14, 02:31 PM
202. The wizard is allergic to goblins, and knows that there will be goblins in the dungeon

203. The wizard is allergic to canines and knows that there are dire wolves in the dungeon

204. The wizard is both allergic to, and terrified of, house cats, and he knows that they will be in the dungeon

DigoDragon
2015-09-14, 02:59 PM
205. You received a GEAS (Gullible & Expendable Adventuring Summons)

ThinkMinty
2015-09-14, 03:24 PM
202. The wizard is allergic to goblins, and knows that there will be goblins in the dungeon

202b). The Wizard is racist against goblins, and knows that there will be goblins in the dungeon. Doesn't even want to deal with them.
202c). The Wizard has a goblin fetish, and knows there will be goblins in the dungeon. Doesn't want to have the quest fail due to their own libidinous desires.

I'd throw in a d) for both, but that's just...yeah, not doing it.

Berenger
2015-09-14, 05:14 PM
175: His dog pet Displacer Beast is expecting a litter of puppies Displacer Kittens any day now and he needs to be there to help with the births. If the adventuring party does a good job he will consider letting them have one of the puppies Displacer Kittens.

:smallamused:

Jay R
2015-09-15, 12:43 PM
203. You are pursuing the Red Boots of Power.
He's hired a second party to seek out the Orange Socks of Supremacy.
A third group is after the Yellow Pants of Predominance.
Others seek the Green Sleeves of Sovereignty, the Blue Collar of Command, and the Purple Hat of Hegemony.

The wizard is busy researching the long-lost secrets of the Rainbow Suit of Sovereignty, with which he will conquer the universe.

DigoDragon
2015-09-15, 01:25 PM
So... not going to form Voltron with that?

sovin_ndore
2015-09-15, 01:27 PM
So... not going to form Voltron with that?

204. Said Wizard is too busy forming Voltron with his fellow wizards to be concerned with paltry questing.

The_Tentacle
2015-09-15, 07:22 PM
203. You are pursuing the Red Boots of Power.
He's hired a second party to seek out the Orange Socks of Supremacy.
A third group is after the Yellow Pants of Predominance.
Others seek the Green Sleeves of Sovereignty, the Blue Collar of Command, and the Purple Hat of Hegemony.

The wizard is busy researching the long-lost secrets of the Rainbow Suit of Sovereignty, with which he will conquer the universe.

203. b) Also he has to get his nose pierced for the Indigo Nose Ring of Nobility.

JusticeZero
2015-10-01, 01:58 PM
205: The wizard wants to make sure there are mid level adventurers around to accompany their mid level niece whose last party got themselves killed, and the fastest way to fix that is to feed XP to some low level adventurers.

Jay R
2015-10-01, 09:15 PM
206. Because you're the only ones in town who have noticed that the mayor is Dominated, and he wants you going on a long trip while he uses the mayor for his nefarious purposes..

Solauren
2015-10-01, 09:25 PM
207. High level Wizard with nymphomaniac trophy spouse. WOULD YOU LEAVE THE TOWER?
208. Have you ever seen what kind of magic a high level magic missile can do?

erradin
2015-10-02, 12:33 AM
209: You were told that you had to destroy the Evil-Ring-of-God-Killing...or something. It's actually the Ring of High Fantasy Adventure and will ensure that you are plagued by a constant stream of subplots and delays on your way to that distant volcano. Hurrah for MONTHS of free entertainment from the comfort of the living room!

210: The first thing you learn on your journey to being a Great and Powerful Wizard is that actually DOING magic is very bad. It attracts all sorts of attention from people who want you to do things for them. I mean, really! It's as if they think insane, cosmic power obligates you to spend your time doing errands!

211 Said wizard is far too busy researching powerful magic to actually perform powerful magic.

hifidelity2
2015-10-02, 06:03 AM
201. The wizard is actually you from the far future and this assures the stable time-loop of your success.

Have used this one:smallsmile:

Hjolnai
2015-10-02, 07:06 AM
212: The wizard runs his life on a strict timetable, and he knows that if he disrupts that timetable he'll end up procrastinating for years before he can get anything done at all.

213: The witch is in fact a party member, asking a favour from her adventuring companions to help with the quest. Of course, this one typically requires that the party be similarly high level.

214: "Quest? What quest? I was just saying it seems a bit strange, that's all..." (That is, the plot hook is a quest but the Wizard hasn't recognized it as anything more than a noteworthy occurrence).

Jay R
2015-10-02, 07:34 AM
215. There are only two available quests in town, and he would rather your party not go on the quest to destroy the plans of the local high-level wizard.

Avalander
2015-10-03, 02:21 AM
216: the wizard has several ongoing experiments. At least three of them could blow the whole multiverse if left unattended.
217: the wizard is tired of solving all the problems, so he started implementing his adventurer's development plan to get some more high level characters around to solve multiverse-security related issues.
218: the wizard has an apprentice whom he doesn't trust not to blow his entire tower by accident if left alone, nor to survive an adventure, so he has no other choice than remain in the tower with the apprentice.

JAL_1138
2015-10-03, 06:47 AM
219: Has laryngitis (not much spellcasting available), is (nonviolently) feuding with the local cleric, and is deathly allergic to one of the main ingredients in Cure Disease potions.

Tohron
2015-10-03, 02:36 PM
220. Because he know's you'll be miserable on this quest and he's retroactively punishing you for the acts of murderhobo jerkassery he divined you will commit in the future.

noob
2015-10-03, 02:43 PM
220: Because he is a master of magic like caster and he is too much busy casting incarnation for having a super ultra powerful hero under his control for becoming the master of the world meanwhile he sends you to take one city for speeding up a bit his casting but you will all be fired once he have Torin.

Reltzik
2015-10-03, 04:53 PM
221. Because hazing the newbies never gets old.

braveheart
2015-10-03, 05:59 PM
223. Because the BBEG is actually an old party member from his adventuring days who went evil and he's not sure he would have the resolve to finish the job if he did it himself.

JAL_1138
2015-10-03, 06:55 PM
Uh-oh, numbering's off. 220 got numbered twice.

Shadowsend
2015-10-03, 10:05 PM
224: The wizard was eaten by his pet Schrodinger, the null magic dire housecat. Both are currently still alive, but the wizard needs the Macguffin to escape without exiting a bad hole.

Hand_of_Vecna
2015-10-04, 08:41 AM
225. "High-level" and "wizard" are relative terms. You're actually getting a quest from a mid level adept who's a big deal in your neck of the woods. When push comes to shove your second level party is better equipped to handle this issue than they are. I mean maybe if they had one or two semi-optimal corpses to animate. Nothing fancy, just say a big cat, bear, ogre, or a few bugbears. Make sure to keep a record of the monsters you kill on this adventure.

226. Way below my pay-grade kids, or I should say the boss's pay-grade. I'm the polymorphed familiar of a simulacrum of a simulacrum. It's complicated, just get the ****ing crystal scepter of flugiax.

Jay R
2015-10-04, 11:05 AM
226. The high-level wizard doesn't like mucking through swamps, being eaten by mosquitoes, or sleeping on the ground.

Nifft
2015-10-04, 12:37 PM
227. The Wizard is very close to a break-through in sanitary products for his or her improved familiar, and having paper that can reliably catch blink dog poo is frankly more important to him or her than whatever catastrophe that other quest threatens to unleash. ("Have you tried getting that gunk out of your robe? Soap only has a 50% chance to affect it! I have to buy [Force] soap!")

Storm_Of_Snow
2015-10-05, 07:33 AM
Uh-oh, numbering's off. 220 got numbered twice.
We're missing #222, and have got a spare #226 too.

JustSomeGuy
2015-10-05, 08:23 AM
We're missing #222, and have got a spare #226 too.

Said the wizard, handing you a rough map and a crumpled watchman's report. Go! Questeth, mortals!

Reltzik
2015-10-05, 12:47 PM
We're missing #222, and have got a spare #226 too.

So we should be on 228 now? Okay!

228. Because this is the 11th time that those two villages are feuding over something and the wizard is sick of having to deal with those yokels.

Jay R
2015-10-05, 02:19 PM
229. Because there's a Feeblemind spell on the MacGuffin.

Velaryon
2015-10-07, 07:36 PM
230. The wizard is actually a business entrepreneur, planning to charge people to view your exploits through his scrying cube/pool/giant theater.

231. The wizard is actually a bard, and he has a sold-out concert to perform tonight.

232. The wizard's most comfortable traveling robes are in the laundry, and he neglected to prepare prestidigitation today.

233. The wizard is waiting for the Comcast guy to show up and fix his cable. They said "between 12 and 3" but you know how those guys are...

234. Your party's actions will be a distraction to the BBEG while the wizard goes for the kill.

235. He banned Conjuration back in wizard school on a dare, and it's a really long walk.

236. The item you're being sent to retrieve actually belongs to the wizard's ex, and he's having you steal it to get back at her. He's not doing it himself so that he has deniability if she finds out.

Jay R
2015-10-08, 01:35 PM
237. The wizard was recently murdered and replaced by his apprentice using a Polymorph spell. The MacGuffin he's sending you after will allow him to permanently hide the substitution.

Balmas
2015-10-09, 05:00 PM
238: After training so hard, the wizard finds that there's just no challenge in life anymore. He's sponsoring you in the hopes that eventually you'll become powerful enough to actually make for a fun fight.

Cazero
2015-10-10, 02:42 AM
239 : the wizard can't sneeze without an invasion of papparazzi. So he had his apprentice cast sending to a colleague who could discreetly hire the thieves guild to disguise a beggar into that mysterious quest giver in the inn.

noob
2015-10-10, 07:22 AM
240 : He wants you to kill the GM so that he can finally create post scarcity economics and he knows only you can do that because you are players the reward he will give to you will be post scarcity economics and so everything you would ever want.

CrispyCriminal
2015-10-11, 01:35 AM
241: Filing for an interview to join the pantheon of gods can take quite alot of time, and the wait is also probably horrible even with teleportation. So he gets someone else to do the backlog of quests, he may as well get some practice in sending proxies to do his bidding since he's going to be tested with sitting on his ass for long periods of time, followed by an eternity of it should his application to godhood succeed.

AmberVael
2015-10-11, 01:54 AM
242. The wizard already did the quest once, but it turned out to be a cursed quest. "You must forward this quest to three other people or you will turn into a newt."

bulbaquil
2015-10-11, 01:03 PM
243. Because, unbeknownst to the party, the party leader is actually the wizard's secret son/daughter, and the quest is their rite of passage. The wizard can't interfere or else it ruins the point of the rite of passage.

244. The wizard is a member of the Consortium for the Abolition of Common Trope Subversion (CACTS). Doing the quest herself would subvert a common adventure trope, and is therefore disallowed.

245. Unbeknownst to the party, the wizard makes his primary residence in a kingdom where social status is a function of how many slaves you own - and unseen servants, homunculi, simulacra etc. don't count. The wizard expects that the party will get captured by a powerful tribe of lizardfolk on the way back from the quest, and has made a deal with the lizardfolk tribe's chieftain to sell the party to him as slaves once they're captured.

ondonaflash
2015-10-11, 07:15 PM
Reason 246: The Wizard is 95 years old, his prostate is the size of a kiwi, he has lumbago, sciatica, a trick knee that can't hold his weight for more than 15 minutes, it takes him half an hour just to get out of bed in the morning and the army of drow elves should probably be stopped by SOMEONE WHO CAN MARCH AT A RATE OF MORE THAN A QUARTER MILE A DAY!

Segev
2015-10-12, 08:06 AM
Reason 246: The Wizard is 95 years old, his prostate is the size of a kiwi, he has lumbago, sciatica, a trick knee that can't hold his weight for more than 15 minutes, it takes him half an hour just to get out of bed in the morning and the army of drow elves should probably be stopped by SOMEONE WHO CAN MARCH AT A RATE OF MORE THAN A QUARTER MILE A DAY!

That honestly sounds like a job for polymorph any object or shapechange. If evil, magic jar.

247. This quest is his apprentice's journeyman test. (His apprentice is a party member.)

248. He's making you a magic item in return for it; if he does it himself, he won't have time to make the item.

Avalander
2015-10-13, 05:01 AM
249: through divination magic, the wizard has discovered that the next time he leaves his tower, he will die.

noob
2015-10-13, 03:02 PM
250: He discovered he ritual to become a lich he created failed and so he needs you to give him 4000 more virgins and he knows that since you dumped Cha you will not mess up

erradin
2015-10-13, 03:35 PM
251: The wizard has finally completed his secret base and wants to see if the defenses really will keep those kids off his lawn and away from his dog. He told you it was home to a horde of undead or something. It wasn't. Not until 10 minutes ago when he conjured them as bodyguards, anyway.

252: Actually, she DID mean to take on the dungeon herself, but her memory's not what it used to be. She read the wrong line from her day planner at you and, since you're already half way there, she'll settle for house-sitting duty, thanks.

Rijan_Sai
2015-10-15, 12:27 PM
If I may...

253: He just finished preparation for the perfect souffle, and he wil be damned to the 9 before he lets it fall to some noisy, young, metal armor clanking whippersnapper adventurers! Better to send them off on some odd errand...

254: Gary You remember...Gary? From the Wish! You were there, Wanda! And Timmy, you were there too! Good times! ...Good times!

Half-Lord
2015-10-20, 08:35 PM
255: Wizards don't do their own grocery shopping

erradin
2015-10-20, 11:45 PM
256: She seems to have developed an allergy to grass, pollon, bee stings, wheat gluton, animal dander, and quick changes in temperature. You're on your way to grab her medication. The dungeon just happens to be on the way.

Deophaun
2015-10-21, 01:23 AM
257: Look, this is your plane of existence here, not his.

258: This quest involves gnomes.

259: He bet the other wizards he could get a group of adventurers to journey to the Valley of Death, climb the Mountain of Despair, and infiltrate the Fortress of Woe to retrieve the Bauble of Misfortune without magically influencing them in any way.