random weapons!!!

[Wolfiepegasus]

This doesn't sound like a normal thing but I want to see what some people can invent. I want you guys to go crazy, and create just the silliest weapons you possibly can. It can be as op as you want, just make it silly.

These weapons may be put into my campaign as its all about chaos and randomness.
No book limits.

No reality reasons.(this also means it can be a +1 that's uber enchanted and doesn't fit x3)

Like example:
+1 feather duster.
1d2 damage
-4 to attack.
+20 to ray attacks
Has ray of frost, scorching ray, and the death one(can't remember the name) enchantments 9/day

[sovin_ndore]

The Definition of Insanity (Cursed Item)
Created by the greatest goblin artificers, this +2 short sword deals massive damage... when it works. Its damage is treated as if you were two size categories larger and it's threat range is a 15-20/x4. Wielding this item inflicts the user with the effects of an Unluck Spell [SC] and always swings with a 20% miss chance.

[dysprosium]

From the pages of the 1st edition DMG:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/21482646/images/1352364941772.jpg

[yellowrocket]

Cat o nine tails

Deals 1d6 damage

Critical has a chance of improving targets disposition to fanatic.

Can summon a cat 9xs a day as a move action, but only a 10% chance of working. Cat can be a summoned creature of summons creature I-IX. On a 10 user gets to choose level of summoned cat. 1-9 summons appropriate level creature.

All summons last 10 rounds, or until cat loses interest. (Subject to dms discretion)

[Rijan_Sai]

I feel that this topic is not complete without one of these:

http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1pdlnP9gU1qjnss8o1_500.jpg

...and this:

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3o85y3yGJ1qarkg3o1_400.jpg

(Of course, not topic is EVER complete without Swordchucks!)

[Blackhawk748]

I feel that this topic is not complete without one of these:

http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1pdlnP9gU1qjnss8o1_500.jpg

I want that Arrow.....

[BowStreetRunner]

+1 Flyswatter of Vermin Slaying (light simple melee weapon deals 1d2 non-lethal damage, critical x2, weight 1/2 lb, bludgeoning; vermin must make a DC20 Fort save or die; if used against a vermin swarm instead treat all damage as Level Loss, with the swarm losing 1 hit die per point of damage inflicted).

[Blackhawk748]

Tzeentch's Butter Knife. This +1 Dagger ignores all armor, Natural or otherwise. It also resembles an oversized butter knife, complete with some butter on the blade.

[Draconium]

The Plaguebringer's Lash

This +2 Whip seems to have green-tinted veins running up the length of the lash. The wielder of this whip deals 1 point of Constitution damage to an opponent on a successful critical hit. In addition, once per day, the wielded can summon 1d4 Locust Swarms as a full-round action. The swarms appear at the end of the round, and serve the wielder for 1d6 minutes before dispersing. As long as the wielder maintains a grip on the whip, they can telepathically control these swarms.

[Lord of Lustria]

Posion wind globe - This weapon is a glass globe filled with harmless green gas. (It would be hilarious to see players scramble to hold their breath and cast spells to stop what they think is poison when in reality they were never in danger.) or you could add a poison to it and make it actually full of badness lol

[Oneris]

Sword of Leitan-Sea
Roll 1d10 with every attack made with this +3 Sword. On a 10, the attack takes effect 1d3 rounds later. In addition, once per day, the wielder can choose to delay all damage taken for 1d4 rounds. The wielder can attack as normal for this duration, but at the end of this period, all the damage he has accumulated over this time is applied all at once, and the wielder is paralyzed for the same number of rounds as the damage was delayed.

[nedz]

Large round shield with a Well of Many Worlds placed upon it. Shield-bash people into another World — well random Plane actually.

[Blackhawk748]

Large round shield with a Well of Many Worlds placed upon it. Shield-bash people into another World — well random Plane actually.

I am so doing this

[nedz]

I am so doing this

You have to be at least large since the WoMW is 6' in diameter.

[Blackhawk748]

You have to be at least large since the WoMW is 6' in diameter.

Good excuse to be a Half Ogre then :smallbiggrin:

[(Un)Inspired]

Thermometer of Rek-Tal

This +1 dagger tells the temperature of anyone you stab with it.

[BowStreetRunner]

Thermometer of Rek-Tal

This +1 dagger tells the temperature of anyone you stab with it.

Oooh! Great idea for positive undead identification! Hmmm...I wonder what temperature it would read for a simulacrum...

[Medival Wombat]

The clucking battlewrench of Nostrick Coinflipper

This two-handed club +2 has the shape of a electric-buzzing, 4 foot wrench. It deals 1W12 damage + 1W6 additional lightning damage. On a natural 20, the target has to make a fort. save against 19 or is transformed into a chicken (see: balefull polymorph). On a natura 1 otherhand, the wilder must succeed against fort save DC 13 or the same happens to himself... This odd weapon was created by a insane gnomish inventure and passes through the centuries, leaving behind a trail of feathers.

[yellowrocket]

Wand of wind

Emits a cloud of non lethal gas with all characters/monsters in a 4 square area and 3 additional squares down wind must make a DC 40 fort save to avoid 1d4 rounds of nausea. Nausea causes a DC 20 fort save to avoid 1d4 rounds of being paralyzed by the smell. Natural 1s on either save cause character to pass out. Animals with scent suffer a DC 5 penalty.

[ericgrau]

Sword of Rapid Abandonment
This +1 collision acidic burst flaming burst icy burst shock thundering holy every-monster-bane vorpal wounding greatsword causes the DM to roll percentile dice every time it hits a foe, outside of the view of the players. The DM may not answer any questions about the die roll and all divinations fail to work on the sword. Otherwise this percentile roll has no effect.

[nedz]

Sword possessed by a Chaotic Fiend of Possession who arbitrarily changes the enchantment every round.

[ExLibrisMortis]

Scythe of Roundabout Healing
This +1 vorpal scythe casts true resurrection on the target on a critical hit.

[ericgrau]

Scythe of Roundabout Healing
This +1 vorpal scythe casts true resurrection on the target on a critical hit.

Can you coup de grace an already dead creature for an automatic crit? Does he lose his head before or after being raised?

[nedz]

Scythe of Roundabout Healing
This +1 vorpal scythe casts true resurrection on the target on a critical hit.

Reincarnate would be funnier, and also more random.

One weapon I did use once.
+1 Intelligent Sword, with a slightly mad personality.

[Wolfiepegasus]

All I've gotta say is that I'm loving most of the weapons coming from this. They are either funny to the point I fall over, insane(the uh weapon with....so much stuff Owo) or just plain cool(black hole arrow!!!). Glad I made this thread Owo just wish I had more ideas other then the feather duster.

[BowStreetRunner]

Scythe of Roundabout Healing
This +1 vorpal scythe casts true resurrection on the target on a critical hit.
The druid version is a sickle and casts reincarnate on the target instead.:smalleek:

[EDIT: ninja'd]

[Thurbane]

The Cestus of Mercy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-RVJyNpfDk) works best if you say it with an Irish accent
+1 Merciful Spiked Gauntlet

[Oneris]

The Lo-Ting Screen.
When placed over a doorway, this black screen blinds and dazes anyone walking through the door for 1d3 rounds. A Will save can can negate the Dazing and reduce the Blind condition to being Dazzled for 1 round.

[Ravens_cry]

Rat . . . Morning Star! ! ! (http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=223)

[Thurbane]

Ban Hammer

+1 Warhammer, casts Banishment on a critical roll.

[nedz]

Swiss Army Pole
+1 Weapon which, upon command, can change into any kind of pole-arm, as desired.
My only surprise is that Gary didn't come up with this one.

[NichG]

My take on that...

Conceptual Glaive

Polearm connoisseurs have to be a little bit pedantic about their terminology - some little details of placement and elaboration are all that separates a voulge from a glaive. The Conceptual Glaive is designed to drive such people crazy. By combining ambiguous and contradictory design elements, this weapon cuts not flesh, but rather cuts at the sensibilities of weapon categories. When unsheathed (yes, this glaive comes with a sheath), the Conceptual Glaive causes all who meet its gaze (that is, all who look at it; it doesn't have eyes, probably) to lose the benefit of any weapon proficiencies they would normally possess. This is a supernatural effect, but it is not an item enchantment (e.g. suppressable by Dispel, Disjoinable, using up a +, having a CL, etc).

Aside from this, it is a non-magical (by default; it can be enchanted as per usual) weapon which deals 2d8 damage (bashing), has a 16-20 (x1) crit range, a 5ft reach, and can be set against a charge. If it were not suppressed by the weapon's innate properties, it would be possible to be proficient only using exotic weapon proficiency. However, barring certain special cases (a blind wielder, for example), this would normally be impossible.

[ericgrau]

Occam's Razor
As a standard action this razor deals 30 damage to an adjacent foe. No rolling, no resistances.
"Shortest D&D turn ever."

[Zancloufer]

This is actually something a player tried to make and was a recurring weapon for a few games. He got bored of carrying around a bucket full of weapons so he got the blacksmith to make one giant one that covered most of his bases. Also he had some ungodly strength score so this weapon actually was under his light load in weight iirc.

Multi-Tool of Doom (MToD)

This massive ~300lb weapon initially looks like an oversized Swiss Army Knife. Contained on both sides is the pointy half of ten different two handed weapons. As a weapon the user can swap to any of the ten currently installed weapons held in the MToD. By default all weapons stored are considered +1 in quality. In order to improve this weapon enchantments must be applied to each weapon individually. By default the MToD contains a: Long Spear, Falchion, Great-Sword, Great-Axe, Great-Club, Heavy Flail, Scythe, Halberd, Glaive, and Lance.

[ericgrau]

Swiss Army Pole
+1 Weapon which, upon command, can change into any kind of pole-arm, as desired.
My only surprise is that Gary didn't come up with this one.

Rod of Lordly Might (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/rods.htm#lordlyMight)
Most of that is in there somewhere. Also comes with the OotS joke "Hey, want to play with my rod of lordly might? If you touch the right button it can extend."

I think 1e had the rod as well.

[Wolfiepegasus]

My take on that...

Conceptual Glaive

Polearm connoisseurs have to be a little bit pedantic about their terminology - some little details of placement and elaboration are all that separates a voulge from a glaive. The Conceptual Glaive is designed to drive such people crazy. By combining ambiguous and contradictory design elements, this weapon cuts not flesh, but rather cuts at the sensibilities of weapon categories. When unsheathed (yes, this glaive comes with a sheath), the Conceptual Glaive causes all who meet its gaze (that is, all who look at it; it doesn't have eyes, probably) to lose the benefit of any weapon proficiencies they would normally possess. This is a supernatural effect, but it is not an item enchantment (e.g. suppressable by Dispel, Disjoinable, using up a +, having a CL, etc).

Aside from this, it is a non-magical (by default; it can be enchanted as per usual) weapon which deals 2d8 damage (bashing), has a 16-20 (x1) crit range, a 5ft reach, and can be set against a charge. If it were not suppressed by the weapon's innate properties, it would be possible to be proficient only using exotic weapon proficiency. However, barring certain special cases (a blind wielder, for example), this would normally be impossible.


Ya know, could make that into a soul edge type weapon where it does actually have an eye and that makes people get even worse with weapons. Except for blind people and those who make sure not to meet its gaze.


Also the dagger guy? I had a campaign where that dagger would of been considered weak....

Anyway looking at some I made one!

Airhorn of tremors

Its an airhorn, that does 1d2 sonic damage to all living things in a 60 foot cone. But 2d20 damage to all nonliving matter in the same cone.

[nedz]

Rod of Lordly Might (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/rods.htm#lordlyMight)
Most of that is in there somewhere. Also comes with the OotS joke "Hey, want to play with my rod of lordly might? If you touch the right button it can extend."

I think 1e had the rod as well.

I'm aware of that item - it's actually from OD&D so much older than 1E - but it's actually a different concept.

The Gary reference relates to the vast number of Pole-arms featured in AD&D — there's a telling diagram in 1E's UA.

[carrdrivesyou]

FROZEN TUNA

This giant fish was left in the deep freezer for too long and is now permanently frozen. A user of great strength could use this as a weapon. The user of this weapon feels compelled to make seafood and frozen puns while wielding it.
"I'm gonna kick the carp outta you!"
"Should have brought my fishing rod!"
"Let em go! Let em go! Dont need hit points anymoooore!"

Must have STR 16 to wield

2d10 bludgeoning damage
17-20 crit range/*4
Ray of Frost at will
Icy Burst Effect
+3 Enhancement

[yellowrocket]

The gauntlets of I.G.

User can threaten up to 15' in addition to any reach provided ny weapons, but any reach attacks with the gauntlets provoke an attack of opportunity from the target. User gets a +5 bonus to grapple attacks for each 5' increment inside the max range.

Once the opponent is grappled the user is only required to use one hand/arm to maintain the grapple at no penalty. Gauntlets provide a +15 to continuing a grapple for up to 3 rounds. The user does suffer the usual risk of striking the wrong person if they attempt to strike their grappled opponent with their free hand.

Gauntlets use dexterity to hit and strength to damage, and can be used as trip weapons.

Gauntlets of I.G. do 1d3 base damage and are considered simple weapons for proficiency.

Gauntlets also can be used to reach far away objects on a successful check based on range (up to 30') and the number of turns to reach said item.