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goto124
2015-09-09, 09:59 AM
Welcome, ogne agnd all to the gnignth episode of this illustrious thread series ogn exactly how best to make your DM cry. As usual, we are always willigng to legnd a kignd ear to your frustratiogns ogn thigngs that have beegn baggnned, vetoed or just plaign killed off at your table. Previous threads are listed below:

1: [Any] Things I may no longer do while playing. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=175909)
2: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=207015)
3: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=228707)
4: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=257965)
5: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=293087)
6: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VI: This Isn't A Checklist We Swear! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?335782)
7: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?370856-Things-I-May-No-Longer-Do-While-Playing-VII-No-Not-Even-Then)
8: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: Why is the PLOT on fire? (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?414743-Things-I-May-No-Longer-Do-while-Playing-VIII-Why-is-the-PLOT-on-fire)

Gnote: if you're goigng to use gnumbers, please keep the gnumberigng ign order. This meagns:
1) dogn't add sub-rules to previous gnumbers--people will thignk that gnumber is the curregnt ogne
2) look to make sure that the last post isgn't a sub-rule to a previous gnumber

Asterisks are highly recommegnded, though.

* May gnot ask if I should've chagnged the titles of the listed threads as well.
** Gno, gnot evegn thegn

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-09, 10:22 AM
* May gnot play a Tinker Gnome Artificer.

GPuzzle
2015-09-09, 10:37 AM
*The Undead Wizard does not cast his Forced Polymorph spell by speaking "Orcus Porcus!"

JAL_1138
2015-09-09, 10:43 AM
*May not play a Rock Gnome Bard with an electric guitar run off a generator powered by a Wand of Lightning Bolt.
**May not reply "What? They're called Rock Gnomes!" when this build is questioned.

FlumphPaladin
2015-09-09, 10:46 AM
*The Undead Wizard does not cast his Forced Polymorph spell by speaking "Orcus Porcus!"
** May not complain when DM punishes that pun by teleporting the party to a certain undead demon lord's boudoir.

DigoDragon
2015-09-09, 11:04 AM
* May gnot play a Tinker Gnome Artificer.

Sounds kind of redundant to me. :smallbiggrin:


*A bag of marbles is really no substitute for demonic competence.

Bard1cKnowledge
2015-09-09, 11:18 AM
*May play a Hill Dwarf Monk and make him a luchador
**may not invent the secret language of Luchadorese, which is just posturing and various gestures
***May not run up to put the BBEG in a full nelson as to repeatedly headbutt him as an unarmed strike
****Definately CAN NOT rip off any helms/hats/hoods/masks from my vanquished foes as a sign of triumph/to huniliate and shame them in the way of the luchador

JAL_1138
2015-09-09, 11:38 AM
*My gnome may not clear the dungeon by taking advantage of the fact that chlorine gas is heavier-than-air and mixing a large batch of acid and bleach near the entrance.

*My gnomish cleric may not use the Create Water spell to spread the fire from the flask of oil I just threw.

*My gnome illusionist may not tie 100ft of thin wire to an arrow and use Shocking Grasp to invent either the taser or the detonator.

*My gnome may not tie 100ft of rope tied to a large stone block to a ballista bolt in order to harpoon a flying enemy and keep them in bow range.
**My gnome may not build a ballista.

*There is no gnomish god of explosions.

*Green slime is not the result of gnomish attempts to design waste-disposal systems.

*My gnome illusionist may not take advantage of brown mold's incredible propensity for rapid growth when exposed to heat in order to create a piston engine or launcher that runs off the Fire Bolt and Ray of Frost cantrips.

*My gnome illusionist must actually cast an illusion spell once in a while.

*Any plan involving magma and a team of gnomish engineers is vetoed.
**Especially if I got the idea from Dwarf Fortress.

illyahr
2015-09-09, 11:47 AM
*Should not be surprised when the elven bard uses her spear as part of her Perform (dance) routine
**No, that is not how you use Fascinate

Rater202
2015-09-09, 12:08 PM
*May not inhale new thread smell.

Lord Raziere
2015-09-09, 12:15 PM
* May not through a miscommunication think that our new ally is secretly a villain
** Even if the theory why sounds totally plausible.
*** May not go around trying to make people distrust said new ally.
**** May not continue thinking the ally is a villain even after original reason why I thought they were villains was disproven on the reasoning that they were playing "the long game."
***** Even if they continued to be jerks who kept trying to distort my characters motives.

* may not greet the second god of the sky we meet as "Storm Dad"

noob
2015-09-09, 12:37 PM
*I should never let my players use bards or wizards or anything with spells or skill points.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-09, 12:41 PM
* May not create a document detailing my tribe's customs and the reasons for them.

JAL_1138
2015-09-09, 12:46 PM
*When DMing 5e, may not use the 2e version of various slimes and molds, such as Green Slime (instead of damage, turns a creature into more green slime in 1d4 rounds, no save, no resurrection), or Olive Slime (body-and-brain-hijacking parasite, save to notice it attaching to you or eventually turn into a zombie-like creature).

*May not buy numerous earthen or stone jars and a large number of cattle, use the cattle to feed the puddle of green slime, gather the green slime into the containers, and fire said containers out of trebuchets.
**May not have access to trebuchets.
***May not use Animate Objects on the containers since I can't have trebuchets.
****May absolutely not have enemies use this tactic if I'm DMing.

Cazero
2015-09-09, 02:07 PM
*May not buy numerous earthen or stone jars and a large number of cattle, use the cattle to feed the puddle of green slime, gather the green slime into the containers, and fire said containers out of trebuchets.

**May not cause the green slime apocalypse 'because zombies are overdone'.

Draconium
2015-09-09, 02:13 PM
**May not cause the green slime apocalypse 'because zombies are overdone'.

***If anyone complains with the above, I may not respond by making a wight-pocalypse.
****Or ghoul-pocalypse.
*****Or morhg-pocalypse.
******Or lich-pocalypse.
*******Dracolich-pocalypse is right out.

JohnTheSavage
2015-09-09, 02:14 PM
* May not through a miscommunication think that our new ally is secretly a villain
** Even if the theory why sounds totally plausible.
*** May not go around trying to make people distrust said new ally.
****May not be the one who started the "they are secretly villains" theory in the party
*****May not encourage going around and making people distrust said allies
******Even if the reasoning was perfectly sound
*******Come on, who trusts a snake spirit?
********Let alone two snake spirits.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-09, 02:24 PM
***If anyone complains with the above, I may not respond by making a wight-pocalypse.
****Or ghoul-pocalypse.
*****Or morhg-pocalypse.
******Or lich-pocalypse.
*******Dracolich-pocalypse is right out.

******** You do not have to beat a DC 20 perception check to notice that the ninja apocalypse has happened.

* 'Number of players who have become adepts since starting this campaign' is not the unit of GM ability.
** Especially if that is players and not PCs.

Draconium
2015-09-09, 02:28 PM
******** You do not have to beat a DC 20 perception check to notice that the ninja apocalypse has happened.

*********Of course not, there's no way the DC would be so low. :smalltongue:

*May not make the plot of the game be "Ninjas vs Pirates."
**Especially if the players are neither ninjas or pirates.

GrayGriffin
2015-09-09, 02:54 PM
* No longer allowed to start shipping characters by the first session.
** Or the second.

* Not allowed to make a group of characters that are all lovechildren of my OC ships.
** Not even if it's AU.

JohnTheSavage
2015-09-09, 03:08 PM
* No longer allowed to start shipping characters by the first session.
**May not begin shipping characters during session zero.

DigoDragon
2015-09-09, 03:09 PM
* No longer allowed to start shipping characters by the first session.
** Or the second.

Third times the charm?



* Not allowed to make a group of characters that are all lovechildren of my OC ships.

One of the campaigns I'm in actually discussed doing this.

illyahr
2015-09-09, 03:25 PM
One of the campaigns I'm in actually discussed doing this.

*May not build a campaign where all PC's are the children of a very prolific bard.
**Said bard cannot be named Dgimi Hen'drx
***Said bard's eternal rival cannot be another bard named Crit Kobaign
****Cannot have the group discover that the bard was an incubus to explain why they are all different races
*****Cannot thereafter have the group be contacted by the bard's divine demon/dragon daughter to have them hunt down all his other children
******Even if all of this is the Players's idea after hearing about a previous character (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=16134455&postcount=501) that the DM played as
*******Anti-railroading is now defined as "the players forcing the dm to change the plot to suit their new OOC world view"

NRSASD
2015-09-09, 03:33 PM
*May not open a hot dog stand in the kingdom's capital
**May not use 2e mustard jelly as a condiment

FlumphPaladin
2015-09-09, 03:38 PM
*May not open a hot dog stand in the kingdom's capital
**May not use 2e mustard jelly as a condiment
***Can't open a chip shop, either.
****Batter-fried black pudding is right out.

Socksy
2015-09-09, 04:02 PM
*The Undead Wizard does not cast his Forced Polymorph spell by speaking "Orcus Porcus!"

** This is also not how commoners get the Pig Bond flaw.

Rater202
2015-09-09, 04:36 PM
*I am not to traumatize a member of a peaceful race just by describing the inherent abilities of my own race.

DigoDragon
2015-09-09, 06:15 PM
* If the players ask me to run an X-Files campaign, I am no longer allowed to wait until the night before to cram together a campaign.
** I'm banned from taking a shortcut and using Monster of the Week (http://www.shaenon.com/monsteroftheweek/2012/06/29/06292012/) for my X-Files research materials.
*** There's only one 'X'. No shipping.

GPuzzle
2015-09-09, 06:58 PM
*No longer allowed to make Unexpected Cena jokes.

Bard1cKnowledge
2015-09-09, 07:08 PM
*My Luchador/Monk may not have a dramatic back story
**The backstory can't have the antagonist be a literal dire bear in a mask
***No it can't also be a big hairy guy of a certain persuasion either. Stop asking
****No backstories. Period.

JAL_1138
2015-09-09, 10:33 PM
*The halfling and the thri-kreen should probably not sit around discussing which humanoid races make better "long pig" if the elf and the human are within earshot.

goto124
2015-09-09, 10:59 PM
*There is no gnomish god of explosions.

** He cannot be Michael Bay.
*** He cannot be the reason bards and clerics get fanciful explosion spells.

NRSASD
2015-09-10, 12:53 AM
*The halfling and the thri-kreen should probably not sit around discussing which humanoid races make better "long pig" if the elf and the human are within earshot.

**Especially if the game is not set on Athas.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-10, 01:47 AM
**Especially if the game is not set on Athas.

Isn't that the halfling's job?

* Cannot play an alcohol fuelled mage.
** Even if Unknown Armies allows it.

* Cannot run Unknown Armies.
** Especially if I do hide the PC's hp totals.

JAL_1138
2015-09-10, 07:26 AM
*RPing a thri-kreen does not require me to communicate at the table via a combination of pantomime/charades and making various percussive or friction-chirping sounds with a turkey-call.

Corey
2015-09-10, 07:32 AM
* May not invent zip guns in a medieval world.
** Even if the game is set on Gor, where they have advanced technology but voluntarily don't use it.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-10, 08:06 AM
* If the players don't know how to use tactics, cannot have them fight 8 hobgoblins.
** Must have all players generate ability scores the same way, may not have some roll and some use the array.
*** Cannot send them off searching for the Head of Vecna.
**** Cannot give the fighter a magic sword, the wizard a magic sword, and the bard a magic condom.

TurboGhast
2015-09-10, 08:14 AM
*********Of course not, there's no way the DC would be so low. :smalltongue:

*May not make the plot of the game be "Ninjas vs Pirates."
**Especially if the players are neither ninjas or pirates.

Joke++

***** ***** It can't take the entire campaign to figure out an apocalypse just occurred.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-10, 08:52 AM
* Cannot announce on the thread that I'm starting a 5e game today!
** Cannot use a Tinker Gnome antagonist, the PCs would like to survive (being pre-emptive)

Hawkstar
2015-09-10, 09:17 AM
*When the DM wants to run an island survival gang, may not submit Gilligan as my character.
*When the DM wants to run a superheroes game, cannot submit Hong Kong Fooey.
*When the DM wants to run a Space Opera game, cannot submit Duck Dodgers.
*When the DM wants to run a fantasy game, cannot submit Dave the Barbarian.
*May not submit Gilligan to a superhero, space opera, or fantasy game.
*May not submit Hong Kong Fooey to an Island Survival, Space Opera, or Fantasy Game.
*May not submit Duck Dodgers to an Island Survival, Superheroes, or Fantasy game.
*May not submit Dave the Barbarian to an Island Survival, Superheroes, or Space Opera game.

DigoDragon
2015-09-10, 09:19 AM
* Cannot announce on the thread that I'm starting a 5e game today!

* Will be jealous regardless if I'm allowed to be or not. :smallbiggrin:

JAL_1138
2015-09-10, 09:23 AM
* Will be jealous regardless if I'm allowed to be or not. :smallbiggrin:

**May not be eager to see how much material it spawns for this thread. :P And for other general updates and system reviews it may lead to.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-10, 09:28 AM
**May not be eager to see how much material it spawns for this thread. :P And for other general updates and system reviews it may lead to.

I'm GMing, so when I get the monster manual next week (this week is just using all the free monsters) a lot from that side of the screen. If our RPG veteran gets better probably a lot from the other side of the screen as well, as he manages to destroy the entire nation through being paranoid and a better engineer than myself (suffice to say, he can't use rock gnomes).

To be fair though, they'll certainly be a lot more material as I get used to the system, as half of what I post I can't do because I don't know any GMs willing to run improve-heavy high powered campaigns.

Wookieetank
2015-09-10, 09:55 AM
*** Cannot send them off searching for the Head of Vecna.

***.a Particularly if its still attached to Vecna.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-10, 10:22 AM
* Cannot get my torture routines from glamour magazines.
** Seriously, I shouldn't creep out the players.

JAL_1138
2015-09-10, 12:37 PM
*A villain in an "enemy of my enemy" situation with the party should not disdainfully comment on how torture technicians rely so much on complicated devices and bizarre implements to cause pain, when all you really need is some rope, a sturdy piece of furniture, and an ordinary clawhammer. Maybe some fishing-line, if you really want to get nasty about it.
**He should not add that torture is pointless if you actually care about getting good intel--everybody breaks, no matter how tough they are, and they'll just tell you whatever might make the pain stop, and might even believe it.
***He should not then say that that's what it's really for--the break, the psychological (and physical) damage, to ruin someone--and that his and the party's current mutual enemies are idiots for not understanding that and wondering why everyone "lies" to them even after they've been flayed alive.
***This should not end up making him much scarier than the Inquisition's blood-soaked, gore-strewn "interrogation" chambers they're going through.

DoctorFaust
2015-09-10, 01:51 PM
*I am no longer allowed to attempt to replicate anything that happened on Lucha Underground.

*Close air support still isn't the solution to every problem.

*My Apocalypse World Driver's catch phrase is not "I live, I die, I live again!"
**Nor is it "Shiny and chrome forever!"
***No, it can't be "gas for the gas god, cogs for his cog throne!" either.
****Even if his backstory was that he got his driving and technical skills as part of a machine cult.

Silus
2015-09-10, 01:55 PM
*I must exercise saint-like restraint when playing a mash-up campaign
**Yes I may take things from Pathfinder, it's expected we start as Pathfinder characters
***Sure you can magically switch out your race when you enter the World of Warcraft setting. Tauren? Sounds cool.
****Grabbing weapons when you're in The Red Star setting? Yeah sure, telekinetic hard-light chainguns are cool.
*****Mecha from D20 Future/Dragonmech? Oooookay, this might be getting a bit excessive.
******No you may not combine them oh Gods what have I allowed?

Socksy
2015-09-10, 02:25 PM
*A Nag Ransom (No anagrams!)
** Even Tenth Noon (No, not even then.)

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-10, 04:49 PM
So the game happened.

* Cannot ask players to roll their stats in order.
** Should not be surprised when a player immediately rolls two worthless characters.

* Cannot have the Tiefling start the game in prision (she has horns and goat legs, and so looked like the classic devil to the city)
** Cannot trick her into making a deal with Hel.

And because I know at least one of my players reads OotS (if you are playing the party consisting of the Warlock Rotta, the Rogue Satyr, the Cleric of LokiWodan honest!, and the NPC fighter Drew Barry Moore keep out).
* The NPC fighter sent alongside the party (they desperately needed a tank) should not be the God of Valour in disguise (classified as Vanir in the cosmology I'm using, but more aligned with the Great Old Ones at the moment).

* The warlock should not be slowly turning into a Great Old one due to an agreement between Loki, Hel, and the GOOs.

* When the Tiefling accidentally makes a deal with Hel it should not benefit the Tiefling.
** Especially not by letting them shapeshift as a Succubus.

* When the Sutur worshipers turn up they should not be immune to fire.

Socksy
2015-09-10, 05:22 PM
And because I know at least one of my players reads OotS (if you are playing the party consisting of the Warlock Rotta, the Rogue Satyr, the Cleric of LokiWodan honest!, and the NPC fighter Drew Barry Moore keep out).
* The NPC fighter sent alongside the party (they desperately needed a tank) should not be the God of Valour in disguise (classified as Vanir in the cosmology I'm using, but more aligned with the Great Old Ones at the moment).

* The warlock should not be slowly turning into a Great Old one due to an agreement between Loki, Hel, and the GOOs.

* When the Tiefling accidentally makes a deal with Hel it should not benefit the Tiefling.
** Especially not by letting them shapeshift as a Succubus.

* When the Sutur worshipers turn up they should not be immune to fire.
That first bullet point. Why would you do that? It's HIDEOUSLY bad DMing if the party is below, like, level 30. I stopped playing D&D with my father because he always sent a dwarf healer who was secretly Moradin along with the party, which was terrible. NPCs that powerful mean players become secondary and useless. Especially if this guy is actively going to be fighting for the party.

GPuzzle
2015-09-10, 05:38 PM
That first bullet point. Why would you do that? It's HIDEOUSLY bad DMing if the party is below, like, level 30. I stopped playing D&D with my father because he always sent a dwarf healer who was secretly Moradin along with the party, which was terrible. NPCs that powerful mean players become secondary and useless. Especially if this guy is actively going to be fighting for the party.

I had that issue, too. Then I decided to take the other way around and make the players themselves the reincarnation of the Gods and make it one of the major plot points. One of my favorite campaigns of all time.

Socksy
2015-09-10, 05:44 PM
I had that issue, too. Then I decided to take the other way around and make the players themselves the reincarnation of the Gods and make it one of the major plot points. One of my favorite campaigns of all time.

That's awesome.:smallbiggrin:

JAL_1138
2015-09-10, 07:00 PM
*My Hermit-background bard's Discovery should not be the 1962 Bob Dylan song A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall.
**Nor should it be the line "It takes a long time, but God dies too--but not before He'll stick it to you..." from Modest Mouse's '00 song I Came as a Rat.

NRSASD
2015-09-10, 08:24 PM
*A paladin should not scream "MEAT IS MEAT!" while charging
**Eating fallen adversaries IS against a paladin's code of ethics and NOT a way to honor worthy opponents
***No longer allowed to play a Paladin of Sekolah
****Especially not an Elven Paladin of Sekolah
*****Even if the campaign is "inspired by Dwarf Fortress"

Sith_Happens
2015-09-10, 08:39 PM
* No matter which Facets I have, neither the ST nor the other players will ever approve of Death Rage being my Plan A in every combat situation.
* I am not to bring up the Transporter Paradox or any similar thought experiment in reference to Ties of Blood and Bone.
* Having the entire Gift of the Elementals does not make me the Avatar.
** Tongue of Flame will remain the Purity Facet no matter how much I yell "MY HONOOOOR!"
* No using Lunatic Inspiration on serial forum trolls.
* Humans are not considered animals for the purpose of any Gift.
** No matter how funny it would be, I cannot use Skin Thief to have my Urhan form look like a human sprinting on all fours.
* Just because Luna's Embrace isn't explicitly restricted to male or female does not mean my character should explore the full spectrum of hermaphroditism.
** Nonhuman sexes are right out.
** NO SELF-FERTILIZATION.

JAL_1138
2015-09-10, 09:10 PM
*The answer to every problem should not be either attacking with a greatsword with Great Weapon Mastery (-5/+10) and a Smite spell, or else casting Fireball.
**Especially if I'm a Bard with Expertise in Persuasion and Deception.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-11, 03:02 AM
That first bullet point. Why would you do that? It's HIDEOUSLY bad DMing if the party is below, like, level 30. I stopped playing D&D with my father because he always sent a dwarf healer who was secretly Moradin along with the party, which was terrible. NPCs that powerful mean players become secondary and useless. Especially if this guy is actively going to be fighting for the party.

Due to the fact he's currently literally a mortal, he only exists as a source of backstory if required. He's actually exactly the same level as the party and has to raise his level normally. This is because it's not 'god in disguise as a mortal', this is 'god has become a mortal complete with birth and all that, and no cheats he has to gain his power like any mortal'.

He also remembers nothing of his time as a god, only his previous time as a mortal. In combat his main role is actually to shove enemies and set up advantage for the rest of the party.

As for why I did it, it was because I need a way to get him out of the picture quickly if a player shows up and rolls a tank. He performs a heroic sacrifice but can come back to help the party if they desperately need it.


I had that issue, too. Then I decided to take the other way around and make the players themselves the reincarnation of the Gods and make it one of the major plot points. One of my favorite campaigns of all time.

I'm not doing this, but the PCs are going to find the exact same thing that raised the gods from mortals. And possibly use it (except for the warlock, by the time they find this shard of divinity he'll be in the final stages of his transformation. Part of this is that, unlike the current gods, they haven't got themselves mixed up in prophecy so they'll fully ascend after the old ones have died.

FlumphPaladin
2015-09-11, 06:32 AM
This is because it's not 'god in disguise as a mortal', this is 'god has become a mortal complete with birth and all that, and no cheats he has to gain his power like any mortal'.
[snip]
He performs a heroic sacrifice but can come back to help the party if they desperately need it.

That is absolutely beautiful.

* May not attempt throw the succubus off-guard by walking up and saying I've prepared mage hand and animate rope and wiggling my eyebrows.
** Even if this is to net us a surprise round.

DigoDragon
2015-09-11, 07:22 AM
* I am no longer allowed to create a Shade that exists in dreams so that it brainwashes and absorbs the collective conscious of anyone who goes to bed in order to assimilate them like the Borg from Star Trek, painted obviously to be the villain, only to have at the last second the surprise twist that the Shade isn't evil, but a neutral byproduct of a Giant Space Flea From Nowhere even though the Shade still has hostages, half the party didn't "get" the twist and are still acting on the Shade-as-Evil paradigm, and the Shade is suddenly and questionably defeat-able with a choke hold delivered by a child.
** If the plot is so bad and convoluted that it leads to a session of nothing but interplayer drama to where at least one member finds playing FATAL preferable, then clearly something went wrong.

JAL_1138
2015-09-11, 07:31 AM
*May not declare that critting with Disadvantage results in an instant kill if I want the Big Bad to survive the first fight with the PCs.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-11, 09:12 AM
* Cannot homebrew Unknown Armies Adept Schools as Sorcerer Origins.

* If the PCs are going to be fighting fantasy mongels I should not homebrew the enemies to have Proficiency with Longbows, Archery Fighting Style, 14 Dex, and +2 AC while mounted. (For the record they wear leather armour, so that's attacking at +6/1d8+2, AC 15 and the ability to move faster than the PCs. The intent is to make them think about tactics, as they become less dangerous when forced to use their shortswords at +2/1d6 or when they lose their horses)
** Cannot homebrew a shaman who can actually heal them, while the PCs have the only other cleric on the continent.
*** The big bad of session 2 cannot turn out to be the duke ruling the city they were sent to help.
**** He cannot be a 5th level Edritch Knight with 18 Strength, 16 Int with the Shield, Burning Hands, and Thunderwave spells.
***** Not to be surprised when 5 3rd level PCs can't scratch him due to poor tactics.

Wookieetank
2015-09-11, 09:14 AM
*The BBEG cannot be a wizard trained by Steven Moffat
**No, not even in Call of Cthulu
***While making the players crap themselves in a horror game is hilarious, it is in terribly poor form.

DigoDragon
2015-09-11, 09:35 AM
***While making the players crap themselves in a horror game is hilarious, it is in terribly poor form.

Wait, we're not allowed to do what the genre is defined as inherently meant to do?

FlumphPaladin
2015-09-11, 09:42 AM
Wait, we're not allowed to do what the genre is defined as inherently meant to do?

I always thought doing that to the PC's was bad form. The players, on the other hand...

Dark Squirrel
2015-09-11, 10:31 AM
*I am not allowed to use Mind seed as the answer to everything.
**I am not allowed to Mind Seed on the BBEG
***I am not allowed to use Mind Seed, period.

JAL_1138
2015-09-11, 11:02 AM
*No matter what the rules say, an unexpected letter from the tax man causes more sanity loss than actual demons.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-11, 11:17 AM
*No matter what the rules say, an unexpected letter from the tax man causes more sanity loss than actual demons.

** Protection from Taxes does not exist, and does not require a focus of a large corporation.

DigoDragon
2015-09-11, 11:40 AM
I always thought doing that to the PC's was bad form. The players, on the other hand...

The line seems a little blurry to me. In my experience scaring either is alright as long as you only present the fear and give the players the choice of being scared or not (or portray their characters as scared).

JAL_1138
2015-09-11, 11:44 AM
*The major war of the campaign setting should not be centered around the conflict between a tea-producing empire and a coffee-producing empire trying to secure land resources and a market base on a new continent.

goto124
2015-09-11, 11:47 AM
*No matter what the rules say, an unexpected letter from the tax man causes more sanity loss than actual demons.

** Not even when you disguise the letter as being real, and for the players.


** Protection from Taxes does not exist, and does not require a focus of a large corporation.

** May not point out Protection from Law.
*** It's not THAT literal!


*The major war of the campaign setting should not be centered around the conflict between a tea-producing empire and a coffee-producing empire trying to secure land resources and a market base on a new continent.

** May not allow the party to have a mix of tea-lovers and coffee-lovers.
*** May not allow the gaming group to have a mix of tea-lovers and coffee-lovers.
**** Cue the arguments and disagreements.

JAL_1138
2015-09-11, 11:54 AM
** Not even when you disguise the letter as being real, and for the players.

That just makes it worse..! It was already worse than the demons...



** May not point out Protection from Law.
*** It's not THAT literal!

****Protection from Lawyers doesn't exist, however, literal or otherwise.



** May not allow the party to have a mix of tea-lovers and coffee-lovers.
*** May not allow the gaming group to have a mix of tea-lovers and coffee-lovers.
**** Cue the arguments and disagreements.
Aaaand that would be why. :smalltongue:

Sith_Happens
2015-09-11, 11:59 AM
* I am no longer allowed to create a Shade that exists in dreams so that it brainwashes and absorbs the collective conscious of anyone who goes to bed in order to assimilate them like the Borg from Star Trek, painted obviously to be the villain, only to have at the last second the surprise twist that the Shade isn't evil, but a neutral byproduct of a Giant Space Flea From Nowhere even though the Shade still has hostages, half the party didn't "get" the twist and are still acting on the Shade-as-Evil paradigm, and the Shade is suddenly and questionably defeat-able with a choke hold delivered by a child.
** If the plot is so bad and convoluted that it leads to a session of nothing but interplayer drama to where at least one member finds playing FATAL preferable, then clearly something went wrong.

** I cannot comprehend the true form of Digo's reference. Am I doing it right? :D


*The major war of the campaign setting should not be centered around the conflict between a tea-producing empire and a coffee-producing empire trying to secure land resources and a market base on a new continent.

** My character may not resolve the conflict by inventing soft drinks.

DigoDragon
2015-09-11, 12:07 PM
Am I doing it right? :D

Yes.

* Stop encouraging the Sith.
** Even if it just 'Happens'.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-11, 12:10 PM
*The major war of the campaign setting should not be centered around the conflict between a tea-producing empire and a coffee-producing empire trying to secure land resources and a market base on a new continent.

** May not imply that this is the war between modern Britain and Modern America.
*** Cannot destroy all the coffee in the world.
**** Cannot do this while drinking a cup of tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

JAL_1138
2015-09-11, 12:33 PM
My character may not resolve the conflict by inventing soft drinks.
Have you seen the allegations that a certain prominent soft-drink manufacturer possibly had union-leaders at bottling plants killed, or at least continued to trade and license with those that did? Might just introduce an upstart third faction rather than resolving anything.



** May not imply that this is the war between modern Britain and Modern America.
*** Cannot destroy all the coffee in the world.
**** Cannot do this while drinking a cup of tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
Oddly enough I would picture the US and Britain pretty neutral in such a conflict. The US is pretty addicted to iced tea, particularly in the South, and hot tea (looseleaf and sachets, not just cheap teabags) is a steadily-increasing market. Meanwhile UK coffee consumption is rising sharply, possibly at the expense of tea sales. If it were modern-era I suspect the US and UK would pretty desperately be trying to get the conflict resolved peaceably (to ensure they'd have sufficient supplies of both beverages).

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-11, 01:59 PM
Oddly enough I would picture the US and Britain pretty neutral in such a conflict. The US is pretty addicted to iced tea, particularly in the South, and hot tea (looseleaf and sachets, not just cheap teabags) is a steadily-increasing market. Meanwhile UK coffee consumption is rising sharply, possibly at the expense of tea sales. If it were modern-era I suspect the US and UK would pretty desperately be trying to get the conflict resolved peaceably (to ensure they'd have sufficient supplies of both beverages).

I can say that coffee consumption over here is increasing, but not at the expense of tea (to any significant degree). People in the UK normally only seem to drink coffee when out and about, with tea being consumed in far greater quantities in the home (as in, you do not want to be the first person discovered when your mum's teabags run out). Loose leaf is also relatively big, especially among those of us who prefer green tea (which you just can't do from a bag, it has to be loose leaf). The UK does not drink quite as much tea as we did during WW2, but that's partially because there's just less time to put the kettle on.

In reality though it was based on the joke 'what's the difference between British colonialism and American colonialism?'
A Brit goes somewhere, plants a flag and says to the locals 'you must drink tea'.

An American finds two people drinking coffee and slowly builds a Starbucks around them.

I will say though, if conflict is inevitable, you'll find Britain on tea's side before China has decided to join.

Draconium
2015-09-11, 05:20 PM
*I may not give a dragon levels into barbarian.
**Even if I'm playing the dragon.
***If I do, I cannot go into the Bloodscaled Fury prestige class.
****I cannot describe his rage as a beastial, foaming-at-the-mouth form where the only way to stop him is to kill him if it will scare the other PCs.
*****Or the other players.
******Especially not if he has no Frenzied Berserker levels.
*******My draconic barbarian should not be able to kill a much older, much more powerful dragon by ripping open his chest, biting down on the heart, and tearing it out using only his brute strength.
********Especially if he's the only character in the fight at the time.
*********After all this, he probably shouldn't have a reason to still be loyal to the gnome bard he has declared as his queen.
**********Oh, yeah, she gives him most of the money they make as part of his horde...
***********Gno Dragons.
************Gno Gnomes!
*************And a double GNO to using both!

Believe it or not, the above does describe an actual campaign I played in... Man, I miss Scythar the Dragon Barbarian, and his Queen Ellywick.

JAL_1138
2015-09-11, 06:07 PM
In reality though it was based on the joke 'what's the difference between British colonialism and American colonialism?'
A Brit goes somewhere, plants a flag and says to the locals 'you must drink tea'.

An American finds two people drinking coffee and slowly builds a Starbucks around them.

I will say though, if conflict is inevitable, you'll find Britain on tea's side before China has decided to join.


We do tend to build Starbuckses everywhere. Lewis Black had a stand-up routine that amounted to being completely flabbergasted and enraged to walk out of a Starbucks and find another one directly across the street, and I would not be surprised at all if that part of the rant was based on fact.

I'm not sure how overpriced, burned-tasting coffee (and it's not just that it's a dark roast; even their light roast tastes burnt) and mediocre not-great-but-not-awful pastries got so phenomenally popular, but then again McDonald's serves billions of tasteless papier-mâché-and-grease pucks per year and claims they're hamburgers, so...what do I know.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-11, 06:12 PM
* I can no longer spend the entire day sightseeing in London when I'm supposed to be preparing to take down the big bad.
** Especially if I'm a Cliomancer. It scares the other players.
*** Can't play Cliomancers.
**** No, not even then.
***** Cannot use Cliomancy to get around the ban on playing Cliomancers.

* When my Videomancer fetishized power rangers it did not have to be that kind of fetish!
** Or the magical item kind!

* I'm just banned from playing Adepts in general actually. I make them too disturbing.

for those who have never played Unknown Armies, Adepts are people who have gone mad and gained magic themetic to a paradox (so Cliomancers control history despite it being a lie). An Adept with a good number of charges, especially if hauling several significant charges as well as a bunch of minor charges, is scary in that they have about 14 powerful spells available and if none of those suit the situation just throw charges at a wanted effect. What makes Cliomancers so scary is that with enough charges they can add new memories (3 minors for a temporary one, 3 significants for a permenant one, if you can swing a major charge then you can potentially edit a personality).

EDIT: Isn't there a crossroads with a Starbucks on every single corner somewhere in the US?

JAL_1138
2015-09-11, 06:24 PM
I know for certain there's a few that have three. Couldn't find a verifiable source for four of them at one crossroads with a twenty-second Google search on a cellphone, but of course that doesn't mean there isn't one (and I suspect there is one. In an article about one of the three-Starbucks intersections, a company rep told the reporter they were planning it but scrapped the idea solely because they couldn't work out student work-study employment logistics with the university. And the company has grown since then).

DigoDragon
2015-09-11, 07:40 PM
I'm not sure how overpriced, burned-tasting coffee (and it's not just that it's a dark roast; even their light roast tastes burnt) and mediocre not-great-but-not-awful pastries got so phenomenally popular, but then again McDonald's serves billions of tasteless papier-mâché-and-grease pucks per year and claims they're hamburgers, so...what do I know.

A few McDonalds in my area all serve an actually pretty good cup of joe. If they sold a side of donuts with it I'd probably buy stock in the company.

Sith_Happens
2015-09-11, 11:14 PM
Have you seen the allegations that a certain prominent soft-drink manufacturer possibly had union-leaders at bottling plants killed, or at least continued to trade and license with those that did? Might just introduce an upstart third faction rather than resolving anything.

Nah, the upstart third faction is obviously energy drinks.:smalltongue:


An American finds two people drinking coffee and slowly builds a Starbucks around them.

"Slowly?":smallconfused::smalltongue:

* The God-Machine does not use Infrastructure to make chain stores and fast food restaurants literally spring up over night, no matter how much sense it makes.


I'm not sure how overpriced, burned-tasting coffee (and it's not just that it's a dark roast; even their light roast tastes burnt) and mediocre not-great-but-not-awful pastries got so phenomenally popular, but then again McDonald's serves billions of tasteless papier-mâché-and-grease pucks per year and claims they're hamburgers, so...what do I know.

Really? I thought it was common knowledge that their cups are lined with cocaine.:smallwink:

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-12, 06:26 AM
* 5e's roleplaying aids are not the poor man's version of Unknown Armies' Obsession and Triggers.
** Cannot point out that, while 5e links the character to the world, UA links the personality to the character.
*** DIY skill lists are not superior to set skill lists.
**** Cannot prove my point by naming my character's bribe skill '**** talking, I have money'.
***** Cannot take a skill solely for the purpose of being too rich for card game judges to catch.

PrincessCupcake
2015-09-12, 09:42 AM
*not allowed to suggest anyone "Fastball Special" me.
**not allowed to suggest a "Fastball Special" to any other character.
***If the party gets a TPK because the Paladin and Monk were catapulted at a Balor and missed, it is entirely my fault.

*When trying to freak out players, showing them a skulking cyst is plenty.
**introducing a factory in which they cysts are created is a bit much.
***describing the creation process in painstaking detail is going too far.
****if I manage to freak out the WH40k chaos player, I have done my job well.

*I am not allowed to use Baleful Transposition to drown a demon more than once.

goto124
2015-09-12, 10:44 AM
*When trying to freak out players, showing them a skulking cyst is plenty.
**introducing a factory in which they cysts are created is a bit much.
***describing the creation process in painstaking detail is going too far.

**** Cannot describe the cysts as infectious.

TheTeaMustFlow
2015-09-12, 11:42 AM
*** Can't play Cliomancers.
**** Fiestamancers are equally forbidden.
***** As are Minimancers, Golfmancers and Corsamancers.
****** If I even think about Pintomancers, Jags Fall, Everyone Dies.

JAL_1138
2015-09-12, 04:28 PM
*It's bad DMing form to have the character who forgot to specifically state they're turning off their cell phone get a telemarketer/scam call in the middle of a stealth job.

Doorhandle
2015-09-12, 07:00 PM
* May not have a tomb of horrors game where no-one dies. You're officially too nice now.
* Not to put a cannon on the random item table.
**Not to be surprised when they cannon becomes the official solution to everything.
* The room with 3 treasure chests in it does not have flashing lights and the jeopardy theme.
* Teleporters that strip characters bare or no, there is not a conveniently placed pile of sticks and fig-leaves outside the dungeon.
* If the players bypass the poison pew-traps and piss off a demon, not to have the latter pick up the former and smash them with it.
**If all the players dive into the same bag of holding, not to have said deamon pick them up and hold them inside.
*** Nor can said deamon pick up one of them and teleport into lava.
*****Or hold them to ransom for "50000gp and your finest baby fillet."

DigoDragon
2015-09-12, 07:57 PM
*It's bad DMing form to have the character who forgot to specifically state they're turning off their cell phone get a telemarketer/scam call in the middle of a stealth job.

I had a PC's daughter call him in the middle of a run, asking if he'd bring back a gallon of milk.
And she was a runner too, so the gunfire in the background didn't bother her. Just another "night in the office" for her dad. :smallbiggrin:

JAL_1138
2015-09-12, 07:58 PM
*If the party balks at Tomb of Horrors, may not threaten to run Isle of the Ape instead.


EDIT:

I had a PC's daughter call him in the middle of a run, asking if he'd bring back a gallon of milk.
And she was a runner too, so the gunfire in the background didn't bother her. Just another "night in the office" for her dad. :smallbiggrin:

Bit more understandable than "Is your cyberdeck running slow? You may have malware! Visit our website...(etc.)" in a stealth op. :P

goto124
2015-09-12, 09:08 PM
*It's bad DMing form to have the character who forgot to specifically state they're turning off their cell phone get a telemarketer/scam call in the middle of a stealth job.

** Cannot make a plan for a friend (that the gaming group doesn't know) to call up one of the players mid-game and pretend to be a telemarketer.
*** Especially if it's Shadowrun themed.
**** Definitely cannot use it to make death threats.
***** May not make the players confused as to whether the phone call was part of the game.

GPuzzle
2015-09-12, 09:13 PM
** Cannot make a plan for a friend (that the gaming group doesn't know) to call up one of the players mid-game and pretend to be a telemarketer.
*** Especially if it's Shadowrun themed.
**** Definitely cannot use it to make death threats.
***** May not make the players confused as to whether the phone call was part of the game.

You may have just given me a brilliant idea.

JAL_1138
2015-09-12, 09:40 PM
*The villain shouldn't be scarier because he looks and speaks like a nondescript clerk or accountant.


*The Grand Vizier with beady eyes, pale complexion, weak chin, mustache-and-goatee, and a nasty scar...should not be a fiercely devoted patriot deeply concerned with the welfare of the citizenry, rather than his own position, and who will fight like a cornered leopard if the king is threatened (and pick up another scar in the process, hinting at how he got the first one).

GPuzzle
2015-09-12, 09:47 PM
*The Grand Vizier with beady eyes, pale complexion, weak chin, mustache-and-goatee, and a nasty scar...should not be a fiercely devoted patriot deeply concerned with the welfare of the citizenry, rather than his own position, and who will fight like a cornered leopard if the king is threatened (and pick up another scar in the process, hinting at how he got the first one).

Oh, please, toying with staples of RPG stories is one of my favorite things.

goto124
2015-09-12, 10:57 PM
** It is my fault if the PCs kill him on his first appearance.

Rater202
2015-09-12, 11:04 PM
*My Reality Marble can not be a field in which I can copy a single reality Marble of my choice, from among the magical effects I've copied.
**I may not summon each instance of it with a different chant, depending on the Marble I've copied
***I have to use an my own version of each chant.
****Nobody in the Fake Grail War summoned Emiya.
*****I can contrive an encounter/Fight with Emiya Shirou on the official grounds of learning to reflect his unique use of Gradient Air.
******Because the GM knows what I've really after.
*******I have to collect Swords on my own, I can't just automatically have all of Shirou's.

goto124
2015-09-13, 01:46 AM
*It's bad DMing form to have the character who forgot to specifically state they're turning off their cell phone get a telemarketer/scam call in the middle of a stealth job.

** When the PCs are in a car chase, cannot send a telemarketing helicopter after them.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-13, 06:21 AM
Bit more understandable than "Is your cyberdeck running slow? You may have malware! Visit our website...(etc.)" in a stealth op. :P

Thanks to real life, I'm now tempted to use 'sir, there are hacking sites accessing your cyberdeck, and if you just follow these instructions then there will be a 500 nuyen charge for solving this'.


*The Grand Vizier with beady eyes, pale complexion, weak chin, mustache-and-goatee, and a nasty scar...should not be a fiercely devoted patriot deeply concerned with the welfare of the citizenry, rather than his own position, and who will fight like a cornered leopard if the king is threatened (and pick up another scar in the process, hinting at how he got the first one).

** Cannot have the Vizer be truly evil, he just really likes his friend the king and see above.

JAL_1138
2015-09-13, 01:04 PM
*I cannot keep twisting fantasy/gaming clichés and tropes into pretzels if I'm also going to frequently play them straight, with no rhyme or reason as to which, when, or why.

woodlandkammao
2015-09-13, 01:43 PM
(Note: GM has ruled that if you land on an enemy, fall damage can be transferred to them with an acrobatics check)

*May not create medieval orbital drop shock rogue
**May not hum the Mario star song whilst falling
***May not create Scottish Dwarf Paladin and order the ranger to toss me at orcs.
****May not exploit 5e multi classing to end up with warlock familiar, wizard familiar, BM companion, and mount.

woodlandkammao
2015-09-13, 01:52 PM
Also:
*Warlock may not use the brain melting powers of Cthulhu on middle school bullies.
**Cleric cannot name his warhammer the Banhammer.
***Arcane Trickster cannot use prestidigitation to make the food of his enemies taste of manure.

It's been a fun campaign.

JAL_1138
2015-09-13, 09:37 PM
*Must eventually play something besides a bard in 5th. (I have, but not with this DM).
**Even though they do everything, and fairly competently to boot. (Melee? Check. Ranged? Check--and double-check at 10th. Healing? Check. Control? Double-check. Buffing/Debuffing? Double-check. Blasting? Check. Utility-magic? Check. Skillmonkey? Double-check.)
***The DM, who did not review the homebrew he borrowed for Dark Sun particularly closely, did not intend that something else to be a ludicrously overpowered, impossible-to-kill Thri-Kreen Fighter 1/ Assassin Rogue X.
(In the homebrew, Thri-Kreen get advantage on all Hide checks, 35' movement, natural armor equivalent to studded leather, and a 1d4+mod finesse attack as long as they have two of their four arms free that doesn't cost a bonus action.)

GPuzzle
2015-09-13, 09:47 PM
*If the Call of Cthulhu campaign somehow turns into Haiyore! Nyarko-san, the next thing we attempt to do with Call of Cthulhu should not recreate Kill la Kill or Gurren Lagann.
**Or Evangelion, which would be the obvious choice.

goto124
2015-09-13, 10:01 PM
**Cleric cannot name his warhammer the Banhammer.

*** The Banhammer cannot have a +2 against Trolls.

Draconium
2015-09-13, 10:21 PM
*** The Banhammer cannot have a +2 against Trolls.

****The Banhammer may not only be used by the clerics of the mystical Old God known only as The Dee Emm.
*****It should not be albe to auto-kill anyone that stinks of cheese.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-14, 01:55 AM
*Must eventually play something besides a bard in 5th. (I have, but not with this DM).

I am convinced that Valour Bards are the best class in 5e. :smalltongue:

* Cannot switch the game to a more complicated rules system.
** Or a simpler rules system.
*** Cannot suggest Fate.

JAL_1138
2015-09-14, 08:50 AM
I am convinced that Valour Bards are the best class in 5e. :smalltongue:


They fit into any party, and any role in the party. Not quite as well as a true specialist, but on the other hand, when I played one at 10th it took several combats for the other players to realize I wasn't playing a Paladin with the Ritual Caster feat in addition to GWM. And even once they figured out I wasn't a single-classed Paladin, I was initially accused of misunderstanding and/or cheating the multiclass rules because they couldn't sort out how I got Thunderous Smite, Fireball, Hypnotic Pattern, and Mass Cure Wounds on the same character, thinking I'd multiclassed Pally/Wizard-or-Sorcerer/Cleric and used character level rather than class level to determine spells known or spell level.

FlumphPaladin
2015-09-14, 09:44 AM
(Note: GM has ruled that if you land on an enemy, fall damage can be transferred to them with an acrobatics check)

*May not create medieval orbital drop shock rogue
**May not hum the Mario star song whilst falling
***May not create Scottish Dwarf Paladin and order the ranger to toss me at orcs.
****May not exploit 5e multi classing to end up with warlock familiar, wizard familiar, BM companion, and mount.
*****Definitely may not exploit 5e multi-classing to end up with a warlock, a wizard, or a beastmaster as familiars or companions.
******Or as mounts.
This was how I originally interpreted the quoted post.

woodlandkammao
2015-09-14, 11:26 AM
Please don't give me ideas

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-14, 03:22 PM
* Can't try to convince the group to jump from D&D to Fate.
** Even if I just bought Fate Dice.
*** Not matter how much better Fate is.
**** Not even if I build the world with the group so we play what they want.

* Can't try to convince them to play Legend of the Five Rings.

JAL_1138
2015-09-14, 04:13 PM
* Can't try to convince the group to jump from D&D to Fate.
** Even if I just bought Fate Dice.
*** Not matter how much better Fate is.

Disappointed in 5th so soon? Sorry to hear that.

Rater202
2015-09-14, 08:20 PM
*When the villain's start of Darkness was started by his orphaned status, and he was orphaned s an infant, ad we know that hs father was killed in battle, I can not claim to be the villain's father.
**Especially if I'm not old enough to have fought in the battle the villain's father died in.
***Especially if I'm younger than the villain...
****...And the wrong species.
*****And a woman
******I must make sure that the reincarnation spell exists in this setting before I claim benefiting from it to justify all of the above.

Mandark
2015-09-14, 11:00 PM
M
* Any plan that involves the phrase "Deathstar a planet" is vetoed.
** No, "It's not quite enough to Deathstar a planet, but" is not any better.
*** This goes for any plan that involves using the word 'Deathstar' as a verb.

**** Should not point out that "Deathstar" ing a planet gets the stellar cartographers mad at you because now they have to change all he maps.
***** Much better to "Base Delta Zero" a planet. Renders a planet uninhabitable and glasses the planet to slag to a considerable depth.

Alberic Strein
2015-09-14, 11:44 PM
*I may not fire a shotgun slug by punching it with metal rimmed gloves
**Even if my shotgun's firing mechanism broke
***Shouting "SHORYUKEN" is just bad form

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-15, 01:41 AM
Disappointed in 5th so soon? Sorry to hear that.

Not so much disappointed, I'd love to play in it, as it's just not my cup of tea to run. I'd prefer something with a greater aspect on roleplaying or social encounters, and I've just loved the look of Fate ever since I've seen it. All the good parts of GURPS without the point counting, all the good parts of M&M without the boring sameyness, and rules light with well done crunch to boot!

Plus I'm certain I could break 5e in half much more easily if I wanted to, and just realised I don't have the experience to not go overboard on the challenges.

JAL_1138
2015-09-15, 06:33 AM
Not so much disappointed, I'd love to play in it, as it's just not my cup of tea to run. I'd prefer something with a greater aspect on roleplaying or social encounters, and I've just loved the look of Fate ever since I've seen it. All the good parts of GURPS without the point counting, all the good parts of M&M without the boring sameyness, and rules light with well done crunch to boot!

Plus I'm certain I could break 5e in half much more easily if I wanted to, and just realised I don't have the experience to not go overboard on the challenges.


Ah, gotcha.


If you're still running that 5e game, as long as DCs stay in the 10-15 range and DC20 is pretty rare, and as long as you stick to the encounter guidelines, the players should be fine. "Deadly" doesn't mean "guaranteed to kill them," more like "one character is likely to drop to 0 and start making saves." It's harder to go overboard than you'd think as long as you stick to the guidelines.

And, eh, if a few of 'em die, so what. Adventuring's a dangerous business, or should be anyway. Maybe not as dangerous as AD&D, where a couple-three squirrels could kill a first-level wizard in one round if they won initiative, but more dangerous than this "the players are always supposed to win and should never have to retreat or bury their dead" thing that's common nowadays. Dagnabbed whippersnappers...

You could try going to quest-resolution or "milestone" XP instead of kill-monster XP, to de-emphasize the murderhoboing and have more social options. If the XP is the same for bypassing the monster or peacefully resolving a dispute, players will usually be less-inclined to go for the kill unless they need to. Makes it easier to determine socal XP, too, since XP comes from resolving something by whatever means, rather than being based on what those means were (since, outside of combat, d&d doesn't really have any good xp rules for it).

DigoDragon
2015-09-15, 07:04 AM
* Just because my teammates have been using non-violent methods to talk down enemies in the past several sessions, it doesn't mean I should assume they won't eviscerate me just for disguising myself as the bad guy on Halloween night.
** I mean really, these are adventurers we're talking about. No way they'd figure that anyone would dress up as something scary or dangerous-looking on Halloween for the sole purpose of scaring kids and entertaining the crowds with a magic act, right?
*** Because any attempt to put a friendly and safe fright into Halloween that gets me dismembered and put into the hospital, and thus out of commission for the rest of the session, is really my own fault and I should have known better.

Rater202
2015-09-15, 09:07 AM
* Just because my teammates have been using non-violent methods to talk down enemies in the past several sessions, it doesn't mean I should assume they won't eviscerate me just for disguising myself as the bad guy on Halloween night.
** I mean really, these are adventurers we're talking about. No way they'd figure that anyone would dress up as something scary or dangerous-looking on Halloween for the sole purpose of scaring kids and entertaining the crowds with a magic act, right?
*** Because any attempt to put a friendly and safe fright into Halloween that gets me dismembered and put into the hospital, and thus out of commission for the rest of the session, is really my own fault and I should have known better.

In our defense, it was a very convincing costume of a bad guy who had previously tried to kill one of the PCs.

JAL_1138
2015-09-15, 09:38 AM
In our defense, it was a very convincing costume of a bad guy who had previously tried to kill one of the PCs.

I guess the moral of the story is

*If I don't want to be mistaken for a villain when disguising myself as one for amusement purposes only, I should deliberately fail the disguise check and make sure it looks like a costume.

...?

DigoDragon
2015-09-15, 10:42 AM
*If I don't want to be mistaken for a villain when disguising myself as one for amusement purposes only, I should deliberately fail the disguise check and make sure it looks like a costume.
...?

So what happens if I purposely attempt to fail my Disguise check and I critically fail my attempt to fail? :smallbiggrin:

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-15, 11:16 AM
Ah, gotcha.


If you're still running that 5e game, as long as DCs stay in the 10-15 range and DC20 is pretty rare, and as long as you stick to the encounter guidelines, the players should be fine. "Deadly" doesn't mean "guaranteed to kill them," more like "one character is likely to drop to 0 and start making saves." It's harder to go overboard than you'd think as long as you stick to the guidelines.

And, eh, if a few of 'em die, so what. Adventuring's a dangerous business, or should be anyway. Maybe not as dangerous as AD&D, where a couple-three squirrels could kill a first-level wizard in one round if they won initiative, but more dangerous than this "the players are always supposed to win and should never have to retreat or bury their dead" thing that's common nowadays. Dagnabbed whippersnappers...

You could try going to quest-resolution or "milestone" XP instead of kill-monster XP, to de-emphasize the murderhoboing and have more social options. If the XP is the same for bypassing the monster or peacefully resolving a dispute, players will usually be less-inclined to go for the kill unless they need to. Makes it easier to determine socal XP, too, since XP comes from resolving something by whatever means, rather than being based on what those means were (since, outside of combat, d&d doesn't really have any good xp rules for it).

It's more I want it to be more deadly than 5e normally is, with a real chance of PCs dying, but not a giant chance of a TPK.

JAL_1138
2015-09-15, 12:00 PM
It's more I want it to be more deadly than 5e normally is, with a real chance of PCs dying, but not a giant chance of a TPK.

Several ways to get there. I use Slow Natural Healing, Healing Kit Dependency (extended to Long Rests too because of Slow Healing), and Lingering Injury in home games--they don't heal easy without spells, and if they use spells, they run out of slots quickly. I compensate by allowing some fights to be bypassed and by using fewer per "adventuring day," but still stay in the Moderate-Hard-Deadly range unless it makes sense that they should roflstomp the opposition.

More generally, pace rests--wandering monsters and time constraints wear them down and prevent them from recovering HP and abilities. Hard to go into every fight at full HP and with full spell slots that way.

Soften them up with Medium or Hard encounters before using a Deadly one. This increases the chance that a Deadly encounter will put one or more PCs at 0hp.

Make it clear that enemies *will* finish off downed characters, and possibly implement a coup-de-grace houserule. A lot of Adventurers' League characters only survive because the unwritten rule at the shop I play at is to stop attacking them once they're down. If not for that there'd be a lot fewer make it through.

Massive Damage is one variant I haven't used, but as a gut reaction I'd say it ups the difficulty of every encounter by at least one class. Hard becomes Deadly, Deadly becomes "you're almost certain to kill a PC, maybe two," as a rough ballpark.


EDIT: If it looks like a TPK is imminent, let them retreat if at all feasible, and let them know going into it that they can and it's sometimes the best option.

JAL_1138
2015-09-15, 12:02 PM
So what happens if I purposely attempt to fail my Disguise check and I critically fail my attempt to fail? :smallbiggrin:

The multiverse implodes. Or rocks fall. :smalltongue:

Rather, just don't roll a Disguise check, I guess, and say that since you didn't roll, you autofail and it's very obviously fake.

cavalieredraghi
2015-09-15, 12:02 PM
So what happens if I purposely attempt to fail my Disguise check and I critically fail my attempt to fail? :smallbiggrin:

Then you asking for trouble which you got. :smalltongue:

noob
2015-09-15, 01:24 PM
*Making an prestidigitator who is an expert who does not uses magic as a npc is forbidden because it is too much powerful.
**Especially is he make everyone believe he is a necromancer by sitting at a table and pretending he communicate with the spirits and make his foot bones crack for making people believe the dead hit the table.
***Scaring the players by faking death then standing up while trying to look undead is too much horrible and powerful tactics for scaring them.
****Mirrors are officially forbidden to use because true seeing does nothing against them and that they work in anti-magic zones.
*****Gods are not experts without divine rank disguising into gods.
******Even if it would explain why their stats are so weak and awful in gods and demigods.
*****in the prestidigitator line alchemist fire and range trigger-able mechanic traps are forbidden
******Making the wizard of the team of players use all his damage spells on decoys and traps and stuff of this kind is wrong.
*******a prestidigitator saying to the players characters to sit at his table to speak with the dead to scare the players and then use crossbow from atop of his table to fight the depleted team is not something that should happen.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-16, 01:04 PM
* If the PCs are working for a super secret part of the metropolitan police that deals with supernatural crime I should give it a cool name.
** May certainly not call it MPOS (Metropolitan Police Occult Squad).

For extra fun, it's not pronounced 'em-pee-oh-es' but 'em-pos'.

* They players should not have to spend an entire scene just working out what style of magic was used (the short list of magic systems in the setting: Hermetic, Shamanism, Demonology, Necromancy1, Kabbalah, and Wild. Other traditions exist [e.g. Hoodoo] but are less important to the London area).

1Technically a Demonology variant, and uses the exact same rules with 'ghost' replacing 'demon', but in-setting the London Occult Underground sees a big difference.

JAL_1138
2015-09-17, 07:46 AM
*If any form of golem or warforged utters the phrase "You stay. I go. No following" before sacrificing itself, the players will throw dice at me.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-17, 08:04 AM
*If any form of golem or warforged utters the phrase "You stay. I go. No following" before sacrificing itself, the players will throw dice at me.

** Cannot base a warforged's death on any fictional robot.
*** Even if I'm reasonably certain nobody else has seen the show.
**** Cannot base characters off of Kamen Rider Chaser.
***** Can't base characters off Kamen Riders full stop. They seem weak, but they have a large grab bag of tricks these days.

goto124
2015-09-17, 08:08 AM
** Cannot base a warforged's death on any fictional robot.

*** Cannot make the players cry.
**** Or the GM.

DigoDragon
2015-09-17, 08:28 AM
*** Cannot make the players cry.

* If my warforged survives the first round of being submerged in lava after dropping into it with the BBEG, I'm not allowed to give the other PCs a thumbs up as I sink for another round of 20d6 fire damage.

JAL_1138
2015-09-17, 08:59 AM
*May not take proficiency in bugle just to play "Taps" whenever someone dies.

Sith_Happens
2015-09-17, 10:56 AM
Maybe not as dangerous as AD&D, where a couple-three squirrels could kill a first-level wizard in one round if they won initiative

You would like Magic: The Gathering, I think. (http://cardboard-crack.com/post/82651057967/emrakul-color):smallwink:


So what happens if I purposely attempt to fail my Disguise check and I critically fail my attempt to fail? :smallbiggrin:

You fall off a cliff. (http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=1017):smalltongue:

JAL_1138
2015-09-17, 11:05 AM
You would like Magic: The Gathering, I think. (http://cardboard-crack.com/post/82651057967/emrakul-color):smallwink:



You fall off a cliff. (http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=1017):smalltongue:

I used to play MtG, many moons ago. I quit when 6th edition hit. Partly because I didn't like the constant stream of errata, partly because I didn't care much for the new rules, partly because there was no community around it in the podunk town I used to live in (particularly after the comic shop closed and there was nowhere else to buy cards), and partly because crack is cheaper and I dislike the quasi-pay-to-win element of it. The current version of the game is unrecognizeable and essentially all Greek to me.

Edit: And I hate the way the cards look now, design/layout/art/etc. Dagnabbed whippersnappers, git off my lawn, etc., etc., so on and so forth.

DigoDragon
2015-09-17, 12:10 PM
You fall off a cliff. (http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=1017):smalltongue:

Pfffft hahaha. XD
Yeah that sounds about right.



Dagnabbed whippersnappers, git off my lawn, etc., etc., so on and so forth.

* No longer allowed to TP JAL_1138's lawn.

Sith_Happens
2015-09-17, 01:12 PM
Partly because I didn't like the constant stream of errata

This at least has been functionally nonexistent since 2006 when all power-level errata was reversed and Wizards made it policy that cards would be errataed only for the purpose of keeping with current syntax and (occasionally) rules structures. They even had to ban Flash (http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=16440) in Legacy (Type 1) not long after un-"fixing" it.

JAL_1138
2015-09-17, 01:53 PM
Forgive me if I've mentioned this one before; I forget where I have and haven't mentioned it.
*If I'm dogsitting my folks' couple of mutts on a day I'm scheduled to host, must forewarn the group that both of them bark their fool heads off at strangers, and one of them doesn't so much bark as make an unholy, godawful terrifying noise that sounds like someone gut-shot a banshee and left it to die.

goto124
2015-09-18, 12:03 AM
** May not stat banshee dogs.

Rater202
2015-09-18, 12:08 AM
*We must not scare off a player.
**We must apologize.

Sith_Happens
2015-09-18, 05:08 AM
* I may not use the Play on Words exploit to fill a trading floor with actual bulls.
** "It could be worse, we could be in a bear market" is the exact opposite of an excuse.

JAL_1138
2015-09-18, 05:14 AM
** May not stat banshee dogs.

When she's not barking, she has a +20 mod to Adorable. Not a big dog, either, just a medium-sized friendly mutt. But still, that bark, yikes. It's a little like a hound's bark, but it's very hoarse and kind of breaks, so it sounds remarkably like the "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" scream but in bursts instead of a single sustained howl. She can bark completely normally, too, without any hoarseness, but gives the banshee-bark when she's being territorial. Fantastic watchdog...

goto124
2015-09-18, 06:49 AM
* May not stat advanced spambots.

JAL_1138
2015-09-18, 07:32 AM
* May not stat advanced spambots.

**May not suggest that if it has stats, we can kill it, and thus by statting it we could clear up the general rpg forum.

DigoDragon
2015-09-18, 07:53 AM
**May not suggest that if it has stats, we can kill it, and thus by statting it we could clear up the general rpg forum.

If only it were that easy.


* I may no longer have the War of the Worlds rock opera playing in the background as I write up a D&D adventure for my group.
** I may not bring alcohol for the resulting adventuring thinking '1 or 2 beers' should be fine.
*** Especially forbidden when I absent-mindedly start drinking the first beer with a straw.
**** If the kobolds invade the town in large numbers shouting 'Ulla', that is where you stop the game and get the GM a cup of black coffee and a sandwich.

JAL_1138
2015-09-18, 08:14 AM
**** If the kobolds invade the town in large numbers shouting 'Ulla'
At least it wasn't "ACK-ACK"...? From Mars Attacks! for anyone who didn't get the reference.

One Tin Soldier
2015-09-18, 09:24 AM
* I may not use the Play on Words exploit to fill a trading floor with actual bulls.
** "It could be worse, we could be in a bear market" is the exact opposite of an excuse.

The best WoD power ever created, right there.

* NPCs no longer allowed to use Play Dead to fake their death in front of the players.
** They are just too good at stopping the death from being believable.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-18, 11:04 AM
* I may no longer have the War of the Worlds rock opera playing in the background as I write up a D&D adventure for my group.

The chances of me doing this are a million to one.

He said. But still, the come!

DigoDragon
2015-09-18, 11:08 AM
And now that ear worm is going to take all lunch hour to get out of my head.

Thanks. :smalltongue:

TheTeaMustFlow
2015-09-18, 01:42 PM
If only it were that easy.


* I may no longer have the War of the Worlds rock opera playing in the background as I write up a D&D adventure for my group.
** I may not bring alcohol for the resulting adventuring thinking '1 or 2 beers' should be fine.
*** Especially forbidden when I absent-mindedly start drinking the first beer with a straw.
**** If the kobolds invade the town in large numbers shouting 'Ulla', that is where you stop the game and get the GM a cup of black coffee and a sandwich.

***** If the Greek gods are still around, impolite speculation vis a vis their romantic habits and Her Majesty's Ship Thunderchild may be hazardous to my health.

Sith_Happens
2015-09-18, 11:10 PM
* Gauru form is not to be used for sex, even if I have the facet that lets me try.
** I hereby forfeit all right to be either surprised or offended at the inevitable jokes about my only "lasting" Stamina + Primal Urge turns.

Hawkstar
2015-09-18, 11:12 PM
* Gauru form is not to be used for sex, even if I have the facet that lets me try.
** I hereby forfeit all right to be either surprised or offended at the inevitable jokes about my only "lasting" Stamina + Primal Urge turns.
... your group is officially anti-fun.

Sith_Happens
2015-09-18, 11:16 PM
... your hypothetical group is officially anti-fun.

*whistles innocently*

Rater202
2015-09-18, 11:28 PM
*I need to occasionally reiterate that my tag along kid doesn't remember his real name.
**I can not follow president and have him named after a jewel.
***He can not refer to the Equestrian Pony as "Ms. Pony"

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-19, 03:09 AM
* Gauru form is not to be used for sex, even if I have the facet that lets me try.
** I hereby forfeit all right to be either surprised or offended at the inevitable jokes about my only "lasting" Stamina + Primal Urge turns.

*** Cannot point out that in Werewolf the Apocalypse there was a rite that required you to have sex in Crinos form.
**** No, that is not where most Metis come from.
***** If I ever play Forsaken, cannot theorise about whether a Uratha getting pregnant in Gauru form either causes her to remain in it until she gives birth to a child in that form, or as the best birth control ever.

EDIT:
* If planning a L5R one-shot for a university gaming society event, the pregenerated characters cannot be a Crab Shugenja focused on buffs and the Tsuebo, a Phoenix Bushi focused on the Naginata, a Scorpian Bushi with no training in ninjustu weaponry, and a Unicorn Courtier with no steed.

* Cannot ban the Isawa Shugenja School for being far less interesting than the Agasha Shugenja School (no, seriously, the Isawa get a useful but boring technique that makes them better at one element, while the Agasha get the useful and interesting ability to cast spells with a different ring).

* May not dress up in black pajamas to kill an actor.
** Even if stage hands do wear that outfit.

GPuzzle
2015-09-19, 09:57 AM
*If the game ends up looking like the fight between the Super Granzebora and the Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann in All the Lights In The Sky, we should be playing something that isn't D&D.

Draconium
2015-09-19, 10:01 AM
*If the game ends up looking like the fight between the Super Granzebora and the Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann in All the Lights In The Sky, we should be playing something that isn't D&D.

**Any campaign that does this, though, is the definition of awesome. :smalltongue:

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-19, 11:01 AM
*If the game ends up looking like the fight between the Super Granzebora and the Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann in All the Lights In The Sky, we should be playing something that isn't D&D.


**Any campaign that does this, though, is the definition of awesome. :smalltongue:

*** The campaign's goal is to defeat the BBEG, not out awesome the above campaign.

Rater202
2015-09-19, 11:45 PM
*When the Party consists of two Teenage Cyborg Cosplay Wizards, a male presenting hermaphroditic genetically engineered nascent deity perfect life form king that is also a kung fu wizard and technically a priest, two aliens that shapeshift and belong to a race that can not die violently unless vaporized, a four armed three eyed barbarian girl, an alien space viking monkey woman, a physics breaking demonic eldritch abomination that is semi permanently fused with a different kind of demon and an immortal witch, and an alien scientist who is also the new God(the old God retired), and are sometimes joined by a pair of feathered flying snakes, a tiger man who is also a fate ninja, and the demi-goddess who is the sister of this one guy the PCs killed, the pony from Equestria is not the weirdest party member.
**Must point out that, other than the pony, they all know supernatural kung fu

noob
2015-09-20, 03:45 AM
***Can not point out he is the weirdest because his style does not blends out with the rest and because the whole player group as well as the GM were carrying guns for shooting on brownies on sight.

Sith_Happens
2015-09-20, 04:42 AM
***** If I ever play Forsaken, cannot theorise about whether a Uratha getting pregnant in Gauru form either causes her to remain in it until she gives birth to a child in that form, or as the best birth control ever.

I will forever be confused by the fact that the Werewolf 2e core book (don't know about 1e) addresses in-game pregnancy but doesn't even allude to how shapeshifting might play into things. There's even a sidebar on Luna's Embrace, but shapeshifting? Silence.:smallconfused:

Aetol
2015-09-20, 08:04 AM
***Can not point out he is the weirdest because his style does not blends out with the rest and because the whole player group as well as the GM were carrying guns for shooting on brownies on sight.

Shooting cakes on sight ? But why ?

Rater202
2015-09-20, 08:35 AM
*People get weirded out when I tell them that I've already planned out my funeral despite being in my early 20s.
**May not explain it to them.

DigoDragon
2015-09-20, 08:55 AM
* May not coordinate my suit to match that of the body in the casket, along with a sonic screwdriver in my breast pocket.
** May not wear the suit soiled and then burst in to the funeral shouting "Okay, this is were it gets complicated!"

Rater202
2015-09-20, 09:11 AM
* May not coordinate my suit to match that of the body in the casket, along with a sonic screwdriver in my breast pocket.
** May not wear the suit soiled and then burst in to the funeral shouting "Okay, this is were it gets complicated!"

***May not invite Digo to my hypothetical Funeral, assuming I go before him, for the sole purpose of doing that.
****May not point out that the other plans are "Nobody is allowed to wear a suit, no black cloth, everybody get's a soft pretzel with their choice of cheese or mustard to eat during the service, "Another One Bites the Dust" playing in the background, and an all you can eat sundae bar after the service.

JAL_1138
2015-09-20, 01:20 PM
*When playing Tomb of Horrors, must not refuse to let my hirelings face danger or combat and instead go first through the doors, spring the traps, and face battle myself.
**Especially if I'm the cleric.
***Especially if I live.

Sith_Happens
2015-09-20, 01:40 PM
* ...No, just no. Do not even think about using Urhan or Urshul form that way.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-20, 01:43 PM
* ...No, just no. Do not even think about using Urhan or Urshul form that way.

* May not mention Changing Breeds.
** May not attempt to sleep with every werecat in the area.
*** No more 'purrfect' puns!

GPuzzle
2015-09-20, 01:57 PM
*Catfolk are not catgirls.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-20, 02:23 PM
*Catfolk are not catgirls.

** With the exception of young female catfolk.

* Cannot bring equipment for the wrong type of roleplay.
** Seriously, I might scar my fellow players!

Rater202
2015-09-20, 04:41 PM
*My character can not try to stop his best friend from running away from home by hugging him and refusing to let go.
**My character's boyfriend can not join, making it a group hug.

cavalieredraghi
2015-09-20, 04:43 PM
*My character can not try to stop his best friend from running away from home by hugging him and refusing to let go.
**My character's boyfriend can not join, making it a group hug.

*** Said character can not waddle his way out of town while being hugged.

JAL_1138
2015-09-20, 07:39 PM
* May not have a tomb of horrors game where no-one dies. You're officially too nice now.
Or you have very paranoid, reasonably-lucky players. I've never done a zero-death run, but I've been in a one-death run. That could've been avoided with a 10ft pole.


*
*The room with 3 treasure chests in it does not have flashing lights and the jeopardy theme.

...shouldn't it be the Let's Make A Deal theme?

Reltzik
2015-09-20, 09:21 PM
* May not neutralize the colossal-sized big-bad CR 15 enemy tank with a 2nd-level spell that ignores its spell resistance and requires a nat-20 to save against.

Doorhandle
2015-09-20, 09:26 PM
Or you have very paranoid, reasonably-lucky players. I've never done a zero-death run, but I've been in a one-death run. That could've been avoided with a 10ft pole.




The above, to be honest. They ran from the golem/snake trap until they could bottleneck it, and were fairly good at looking for traps, and guessed the correct entrance the first time. Plus, they didn't get to the lich himself...

DigoDragon
2015-09-20, 10:07 PM
...shouldn't it be the Let's Make A Deal theme?

If you're in a deadly dungeon and the room breaks out in loud lights and sounds, the theme being played is the least of your worries. :smallwink:

JAL_1138
2015-09-21, 03:24 AM
The above, to be honest. They ran from the golem/snake trap until they could bottleneck it, and were fairly good at looking for traps, and guessed the correct entrance the first time. Plus, they didn't get to the lich himself...

Well, even if they got to the demilich, he only attacks if they mess with him. And hey, the last altar they messed with probably exploded and did a crapton of damage and it didn't look nearly as ominous, so why mess with him? Take the loot, MAYBE fight the ghost if they don't ignore the dust-shape, and leave. If they didn't die and didn't get to him...either they didn't find one of the necessary secret doors, or they ran out when the fake-collapse illusion happened, or they all got teleported outside without their gear and went home, or they took the extremely valuable adamantite and/or mithril doors off the hinges and left to become fabulously rich--I'm guessing teleport since you mentioned leaving fig leaves for characters who had that happen?

EDIT:

*May not advocate that with a couple of changes to give a few out of the many puzzles a bit more hints as to the solutions, and a fix for the now infamous lootable-doors problem, Tomb of Horrors would practically be a textbook for how to design a dungeon. For some reason that opinion is unpopular around the forums.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-21, 05:25 AM
* The dungeon should not be worth more than the loot.
** If every monster in the dungeon has a few coppers and a worthless glass bead I cannot expect the party to start looting the valuable doors and tables instead of locating every monster and fighting them for the 'priceless' glass beads.
*** Cannot abuse the fact that priceless can refer to being completely worthless, it's just never used that way.

* Cannot take Profession (Miner) just to bypass the entire dungeon.
** Profession (Minor) is right out.

Lvl 2 Expert
2015-09-21, 10:58 AM
*Catfolk are not catgirls.

** With the exception of young female catfolk.
*** I may not adress any catfolk as "*****".
**** And whatever I do, no catcalling.
***** EDIT: I may not olo at the profanity filter for sticking to the theme of these lists.

Rater202
2015-09-21, 11:13 AM
*** Said character can not waddle his way out of town while being hugged.

****We can not make other players laugh at what is supposed to be a dramatic and emotional scene.

cavalieredraghi
2015-09-21, 03:49 PM
****We can not make other players laugh at what is supposed to be a dramatic and emotional scene.

***** Can not also thing it was fun and remain quiet about it.

Spore
2015-09-21, 03:59 PM
*** Cannot abuse the fact that priceless can refer to being completely worthless, it's just never used that way.

**** Should not point out to the DM that priceless means that no price can be evaluated for an important item while the price of "nothing" is an actual price, therefore his joke falls flat.
***** Might not start an Adamantium Door Dungeon outfitter with a Wizard specialized in Polymorph spells.

GPuzzle
2015-09-21, 04:15 PM
*May not base a sci-fi campaign on Digital Haunt.
**No one even understands what it actually means, the clues make no sense at all!

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-21, 05:00 PM
**** Should not point out to the DM that priceless means that no price can be evaluated for an important item while the price of "nothing" is an actual price, therefore his joke falls flat.

***** May not claim the presence of a space.

JAL_1138
2015-09-21, 05:16 PM
*Must not state a die is lucky or performing well, or offer it any form of praise whatsoever for consistently high rolls, as it will immediately turn against me and refuse to roll higher than single-digits.

Rater202
2015-09-21, 05:54 PM
*Any build that gives an arbitrarily large number of spell points at chargen is banned.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-21, 06:18 PM
* My character must have a motivation other than 'FOR SCIENCE!'
** Said character cannot be the most emotionally stable of the group.
*** Cannot use science to invent a new version of magic.
**** Especially if magic and science are said to be in opposition.
***** May no longer play scientists or engineers. It's scary when I apply the scientific method in-game.

The last one is actually kind of true, in that once I had my character start applying actual scientific method to experiments involving zombies he discovered more in a day than the army had in six months (it helped that we ended up in an industrial estate with many weak zombies surrounding it, meaning that my character had enough resources that capturing test subjects and holding them were handwaved, and lightweight armour to protect from bites in experiments. He managed to confirm that zombies were essentially immune to electricity). I made sure to stress that every experiment was repeated to get reliable data, and I think he GM only took me out of the lab in the session I missed so that I couldn't learn enough to start developing effective weaponry.

As it turns out, playing a scientist when the GM doesn't have any idea how science works can be really scary, in that I could roll off simple experiments for useful data in the order of one experiment roughly every two minutes, and one of my first experiments established the enemy as non-sentient because they couldn't be trained (at all). It's made me want to play another scientist character who actually gets time in R&D to make gadgets. I did once get the opportunity, but the world's magic system was so interesting I made a kook instead.

DigoDragon
2015-09-21, 07:22 PM
The last one is actually kind of true, in that once I had my character start applying actual scientific method to experiments involving zombies he discovered

There were two retired military personnel in my old group. I learned a lot about military protocol and tactics because of them. It was indeed scary when I ran an American Civil War campaign and they handily won like... 25% more Union battles than the Union actually did.

goto124
2015-09-21, 10:13 PM
* May not ask Digo to post the lastest shenanigan from that FO:E game.

Spore
2015-09-21, 10:48 PM
**** Especially if magic and science are said to be in opposition.


* May not point out that Wizards are often the equivalent of magic scientists in most RPGs.
** Can also not use real architectural knowledge to point out how concrete walls would not stand in a post apocalyptic scenario 500 years from now.
*** May not point out that in said scenario there is NO real reason for some factions to revert to weaponry from the Iron Age, the Renaissance or the Industrial Age.
**** Might not point out the setting's flaws mid-session; and question the DM's weird fascination with that cohesive yet scientifically completely stupid world.
***** Not allowed to wonder or complain if I am not invited to further sessions of ANYTHING remotely fantastical.

JAL_1138
2015-09-21, 11:57 PM
Ammunition could be a factor in going back to earlier weapons. Brass cases wear out if you reload them enough, and smokeless powder isn't terribly easy to make compared to black powder (which will foul a barrel and action extremely quickly--enough smokeless-powder residue can gum up a striker-fired pistol to the point the action doesn't work properly even if the barrel is clean; black powder is far worse). Powder doesn't keep indefinitely either; it has a shelf-life. Old powder is unreliable as to burn rate. Primers and even their precursor, percussion-caps, aren't really easy to homebrew without functioning industry (if nothing else, to provide the chemicals), either. Lead spheres and Minié balls are easier to make than modern hardened-lead bullets, which are themselves easier to make than any kind of jacketed bullet. Flintlock muzzleloaders might make a bit of a resurgence for ease of maintenance and ammo, as might bows and spears as hunting tools. Machetes, knives, axes, or even a fairly common WWI trick, sharpened shovels, are pretty useful in close-quarters combat, especially if you don't have easy access to cartridges. And of course springs wear out, barrels bulge, rust happens, metal fatigue snaps that teeny fiddly little absolutely-critical part somewhere in the inner works and there's no easy way to replace it. So I could see that sort of thing, somewhat, if a hundred years or more had gone by since the apocalypse without any real rebuilding.

DigoDragon
2015-09-22, 05:59 AM
* May not ask Digo to post the lastest shenanigan from that FO:E game.

It's for the twist that just happened, isn't it? :smallbiggrin:

** May not spoil the twist until it is the right moment.

TurboGhast
2015-09-22, 08:12 AM
Just thought of this
* If playing a Mega Man X based campaign, can't leave the quest to resurrect Green Biker Dude.
** If playing a Classic Mega Man based campaign, can't leave the quest to make sure Green Biker Dude never dies.
*** Especially because he hasn't been born yet!

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-22, 12:35 PM
There were two retired military personnel in my old group. I learned a lot about military protocol and tactics because of them. It was indeed scary when I ran an American Civil War campaign and they handily won like... 25% more Union battles than the Union actually did.

Yeah, I refrain from commenting on bad science as I'm really not as up-to-date as I should be (but I have called bull**** on the physically impossible several times, and outright ban instant travel in my games). But if I actually do start experimenting in-game I can be scarily competent, as I ask enough questions that I stumble across the right ones.


* May not point out that Wizards are often the equivalent of magic scientists in most RPGs.

** May not point out that this is true in all my homebrew worlds, and that generally they have the rules of magic pretty well worked out to the point where they can come up with the right spell with a few weeks to a few decades to work on it. Usually.

Roderick_BR
2015-09-22, 02:23 PM
* My character must have a motivation other than 'FOR SCIENCE!'
** Said character cannot be the most emotionally stable of the group.
*** Cannot use science to invent a new version of magic.
**** Especially if magic and science are said to be in opposition.
***** May no longer play scientists or engineers. It's scary when I apply the scientific method in-game.

The last one is actually kind of true, in that once I had my character start applying actual scientific method to experiments involving zombies he discovered more in a day than the army had in six months (it helped that we ended up in an industrial estate with many weak zombies surrounding it, meaning that my character had enough resources that capturing test subjects and holding them were handwaved, and lightweight armour to protect from bites in experiments. He managed to confirm that zombies were essentially immune to electricity). I made sure to stress that every experiment was repeated to get reliable data, and I think he GM only took me out of the lab in the session I missed so that I couldn't learn enough to start developing effective weaponry.

As it turns out, playing a scientist when the GM doesn't have any idea how science works can be really scary, in that I could roll off simple experiments for useful data in the order of one experiment roughly every two minutes, and one of my first experiments established the enemy as non-sentient because they couldn't be trained (at all). It's made me want to play another scientist character who actually gets time in R&D to make gadgets. I did once get the opportunity, but the world's magic system was so interesting I made a kook instead.
As a DM, I would allow it, although some knowledge-based skills are faster and more reliable to find out information about monsters. And missing an adventure while locked in a lab may hurt your XP earning.

DigoDragon
2015-09-22, 02:50 PM
And missing an adventure while locked in a lab may hurt your XP earning.

What if you were locked in the lab against your will with an intentional fire? :3

Draconium
2015-09-22, 04:32 PM
*I may not bluff my way into an emergency international meeting when I just randomly stuble upon it.
**Especially not if my nation didn't originally send anyone to this meeting.
***I may not claim that my nation is willing to open trade routes with other nations when we've been entirely self-sustaining until this point.
****If they contact my nation's rulers to confirm this, I may not act so confident about it that the rulers decide to just roll with my bluff.
*****I may not do this all at level 1.

JAL_1138
2015-09-22, 06:01 PM
*I may not bluff my way into an emergency international meeting when I just randomly stuble upon it.
**Especially not if my nation didn't originally send anyone to this meeting.
***I may not claim that my nation is willing to open trade routes with other nations when we've been entirely self-sustaining until this point.
****If they contact my nation's rulers to confirm this, I may not act so confident about it that the rulers decide to just roll with my bluff.
*****I may not do this all at level 1.

Brohoof. I did almost the same thing once (at much higher level, though that didn't give me a stat bonus in 2nd). May have put it in an earlier thread. Bluffed my way into trade negotiations as a duke when the representative didn't show. Got a good enough trade deal set up that my home nation had to retroactively make me a duke because they didn't want to lose the trade deal. I retired the character to go run his new fiefdom.

Draconium
2015-09-23, 12:39 AM
Brohoof. I did almost the same thing once (at much higher level, though that didn't give me a stat bonus in 2nd). May have put it in an earlier thread. Bluffed my way into trade negotiations as a duke when the representative didn't show. Got a good enough trade deal set up that my home nation had to retroactively make me a duke because they didn't want to lose the trade deal. I retired the character to go run his new fiefdom.

:smallbiggrin: In my case, I only had to actually roll a couple of bluff checks. The rest of it was pure roleplaying. It got really tense. And I loved every second of it. I haven't played that character since - haven't really got the chance - but he had a fun personality. He was actually one of my first evil PCs, so he introduced me to the deep end of the alignment pool.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-23, 07:33 AM
As a DM, I would allow it, although some knowledge-based skills are faster and more reliable to find out information about monsters. And missing an adventure while locked in a lab may hurt your XP earning.

The thing was, we were earning XP so slowly that me staying behind, doing research and developing gadgets would have been strictly better than me going out into the field and earning XP, simply because we weren't earning XP fast enough for me to get good at fighting with anything but an arming sword.

The thing that annoys me was that I had been clear since my first character concept (magic-using Anglican priest) had been shot down that research was my character's number one priority, and that was why over half my skill points were in science and electronic engineering. Instead of letting me roll with it he stopped me from building simple weaponry (you can totally build a railgun good enough to kill a zombie with modern equipment, the power drain is just so much it would likely end up as a turret weapon or with a backpack battery) and only let me run any experiments once he had finally decided to stop making up reasons why are characters couldn't do the sensible thing and go to the industrial estate (we had several days worth of food and plans that would have allowed us to be better equipped for scavenging at the end of day one at the industrial estate).

Any reasonable GM would have either just docked me XP or required me to funnel the XP towards science and engineering skills. This GM came up with reasons why the party scientist and mechanical engineer (that's two separate PCs) couldn't use their skill sets.


*I may not bluff my way into an emergency international meeting when I just randomly stuble upon it.
**Especially not if my nation didn't originally send anyone to this meeting.
***I may not claim that my nation is willing to open trade routes with other nations when we've been entirely self-sustaining until this point.
****If they contact my nation's rulers to confirm this, I may not act so confident about it that the rulers decide to just roll with my bluff.
*****I may not do this all at level 1.

Sounds perfectly reasonable. Bounded accuracy means that the level 5 representatives likely don't have a sense motive much higher than your bluff. :smallbiggrin:

* When every other suggestion of a game has fallen through, cannot finally try to run D&D at the university gaming society.

DigoDragon
2015-09-23, 09:00 AM
* No longer allowed to categorize game systems based on their ability to ship my characters.

goto124
2015-09-23, 09:28 AM
** May not wonder what Bounded accuracy actually is, since it extends beyond combat.

Digo: ** May not mention Bliss Stage.


I think the best way to describe Bliss Stage is that it is a game based on "romance". There is only one adult character in the game. Figure out why one of my standing rules for tabletop is that anyone suggesting it (Alongside FATAL and Cthulutech) gets punched in the gonads.

Now , I could dig a scenario where you're a hundred miles from anything resembling civilization, so it is either take the kid or let them die. Having them fight could just be unavoidable, as some enemies would see them as hostages or food. That's fine. There is a very good reason for the situation.

Except the times that I have seen younger characters, the player never does this. One time it happened in a large city with an orphanage. I guess what I want to say is that if you want a difficult concept, please put in some effort to help other characters, instead of doing nothing and get upset at paladins for not wanting to traumatize children. Yes, other players should help, but all sides need to pitch in not just others.


Think "Evangelion meets Falling Skies with heavy dating sim elements that are the main means of character advancement."

Slightly longer version, Bliss Stage is a semi-obscure game in which you play as teenagers...
Fighting a guerilla war against alien conquerers...
Using mecha...
That literally run on the Power of Love...
To which end every PC has a designated NPC love interest...
Your relationship values with whom constitute four out of your six ability scores...
And yes, by "ability scores" I mean the ones that determine how good you are at fighting aliens.


Ah, so a romance-anime-plot crossed with a super-robot plot. Eh, I can see that being done well or creepy, honestly. Romance-excuse-plots are just ways to add drama and force teen characters who might otherwise be too shy to participate in the plotlines. (Though it CAN go creepy, depending how it's handled.)

Draconium
2015-09-23, 09:49 AM
Sounds perfectly reasonable. Bounded accuracy means that the level 5 representatives likely don't have a sense motive much higher than your bluff. :smallbiggrin:

*I may not point out that it was D&D 3.5, and I was playing a core-only fighter (we didn't have splatbook access, and it was mostly role-playing anyways).

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-23, 06:04 PM
** May not wonder what Bounded accuracy actually is, since it extends beyond combat.

*** May not respond with 'it means that your bonus can't get above a 12 without magic, and so is obviously a way to make wizards all powerful'.


Digo: ** May not mention Bliss Stage.

*** May not ask 'is that the one where a high-risk strategy is to play 'Barney Stinson but a teenager'?'
**** 'Can you sleep with the aliens?' is also banned.

Lord Raziere
2015-09-23, 06:16 PM
* No longer allowed to sing the NWO's name in full in an uplifting british voice every time I refer to the NEW WORLD ORDER!!

DigoDragon
2015-09-23, 06:18 PM
Digo: ** May not mention Bliss Stage.

Oh my. That's something. ...something banned I assume. :smallbiggrin:



**** 'Can you sleep with the aliens?' is also banned.

We all already know the answer anyway.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-23, 06:46 PM
* No longer allowed to sing the NWO's name in full in an uplifting british voice every time I refer to the NEW WORLD ORDER!!

** May not criticise the British accent without hearing it.
*** Even if I have one of the most British accents possible.
**** May not mention that my family, despite having the most English accent possible this side of RP frequently get accused of having an American accent by people with the exact same accent.

* No matter how many laughs it gets, I cannot have the punchline to a 'the government says foreigners are evil' joke be 'now if you'll excuse me I have a Chinese girl I want to ask out'.

GPuzzle
2015-09-23, 06:52 PM
*No longer allowed to run a Shadowrun campaign set in future South Park.

JAL_1138
2015-09-23, 06:54 PM
*May not claim that a 10ft pole is more precious than adamantite or mithral armor or weapons.
**Even if it's saved my life more often.
***There is no god of 10ft poles.
****The god of survival's holy symbol is not a 10ft pole.
*****Nor is it a bag of flour.
******Nor is it 50ft of rope.
*******Nor is it a reach polearm, which is just a 10ft pole you can kill people with more easily.
********Even if I made it through the Tomb of Horrors in one piece and am of sufficient level to earn the title "High Priest," I am not the High Priest of Survival.
*********Nor am I the High Priest of Dungeoneering.
**********Nor am I the High Priest of the Order of the Red Shirt.

Rater202
2015-09-23, 06:59 PM
*None of my reflected mystical effects can be stronger than the original.
**Especially if I'm reflecting a reality Marble.
***Especially if the Reality Marble is Unlimited Blade Works.

Lord Raziere
2015-09-23, 07:08 PM
* may not design traps that only activate when feet touch them, which wooden poles wouldn't be able to detect.
** or change the dungeon to kill monsters before the PC's can get to them to deny them valuable exp when they use a pole
*** or change all the gold in the dungeon to wood.
**** or set it up so that every trap they find it only makes the 10 ft pole glow and keeps returning to their hand but otherwise seems harmless until they finally step into the BBEG's room where all the traps stored in the 10 ft pole suddenly explode upon the PC's as they cross the threshold
***** or design traps that seem only beneficial until they hit a "reversal room" that then reverses all the buffs they got so that they die or at least incredibly weakened so that the BBEG kills them.
****** nor can I design traps that don't seem to do anything but instead activate illusions out of sight that lead them to their doom.

Hawkstar
2015-09-23, 08:36 PM
Oh my. That's something. ...something banned I assume. :smallbiggrin:


Ehh... looking at the descriptions, it seems to be a mashup of the mecha and High School Dating genres. Nothing unusual or controversial as far as I can tell.

Honest Tiefling just seems oblivious to the fact that humans start becoming interested in romance and sexuality well before they turn 18. =

GnomishPride
2015-09-23, 09:08 PM
*I may not have 1000 arms
**I may not have 600 arms
***I may not have 10 arms
****I may not have more than two arms

*I may not play a character that needs to use scientific notation on their character sheet
**Doubly so if the entire sheet is in scientific notation

*I may not exploit game mechanics to become the size of a star

*I may not exploit game mechanics to gain 8x10^15 HD

*I may not combine all of these into one character

*I may not kill a Great Red Wyrm with a mid-level Ranger and a mid-level Paladin in two rounds
**Doubly so in First Edition

*I may not exploit time travel to be my cohort's awakened familiar

*I may not play rangers

*I cannot have more followers than people alive and dead combined

*I cannot have 43rd level followers

*I cannot have a Were-Pseudonatural-Dire-Augmented Animal-Dracolich character
**Doubly so if he starts a plague of Were-Pseudonatural-Dire-Augmented Animal-Dracoliches

*I cannot have francium

*I cannot play demons

Rater202
2015-09-23, 09:13 PM
Your intimacies, which your stats are based on, max out at "yuou're sleeping together."(unless you're a blood relative, inqhich case they max out one step below that becuase blood relations get a plus one)

The problem is that it's totally possible to have a PC who is as young as 13 at game start, so if your time scale is too short or you level up your intimacies too fast, you get to squicky areas pretty fast.

you can get around the "must sleep with someone"requirement by having multiple relationships, but that's more complicated

So it's one of those "Mature players only" games with the possibility of squick if you do it wrong.

Sith_Happens
2015-09-23, 10:31 PM
We all already know the answer anyway.

Hey, remember that one annoying English teacher you had? IT'S REVERSAL TIME:

* While I may sleep with the alien, whether I can is a whole different question.

GrayGriffin
2015-09-23, 11:08 PM
* No longer allowed to charm gates into opening
** Charming electronic gates into giving up their codes is basically the same thing.

* Not allowed to completely curb-stomp the opposition in a 3 vs. 7 battle.
** Especially when your side is the 3-person side.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-24, 04:41 AM
Ehh... looking at the descriptions, it seems to be a mashup of the mecha and High School Dating genres. Nothing unusual or controversial as far as I can tell.

Honest Tiefling just seems oblivious to the fact that humans start becoming interested in romance and sexuality well before they turn 18. =

Here in the UK we've agreed that as long as you're discreet about it we'll pretend that it's not going beyond kissing until you're 16. But then again, America seems to be the one place that hasn't realised that we're depraved as **** and we've basically come to treat it as a staggered age of consent.


Your intimacies, which your stats are based on, max out at "yuou're sleeping together."(unless you're a blood relative, inqhich case they max out one step below that becuase blood relations get a plus one)

The problem is that it's totally possible to have a PC who is as young as 13 at game start, so if your time scale is too short or you level up your intimacies too fast, you get to squicky areas pretty fast.

you can get around the "must sleep with someone"requirement by having multiple relationships, but that's more complicated

So it's one of those "Mature players only" games with the possibility of squick if you do it wrong.

How many relationships can a 13 year old have at intimacy 5? Because although I know it does happen I like to pretend it takes them at least another year.

At least in Evangellion Shinji never actually slept with Asuka. Can't we apply the same rules to games?

Arcane_Snowman
2015-09-24, 05:59 AM
If my character can only be reasonably hurt by high grade anti-vehicular ammunition, I should probably consider toning him down.

DigoDragon
2015-09-24, 07:06 AM
* While I may sleep with the alien, whether I can is a whole different question.

Now I want to watch Galaxy Quest again...

Hawkstar
2015-09-24, 07:48 AM
Your intimacies, which your stats are based on, max out at "yuou're sleeping together."(unless you're a blood relative, inqhich case they max out one step below that becuase blood relations get a plus one)

The problem is that it's totally possible to have a PC who is as young as 13 at game start, so if your time scale is too short or you level up your intimacies too fast, you get to squicky areas pretty fast.

you can get around the "must sleep with someone"requirement by having multiple relationships, but that's more complicated

So it's one of those "Mature players only" games with the possibility of squick if you do it wrong.

Actually... it sounds more fun/appropriate for less mature players - either those in the age range of the characters, or at least still remember what that age is like. As much as some people may be deluded into believing it never happens, there are a lot of sexually-active teenagers (I was 13 when I started!)

JAL_1138
2015-09-24, 07:57 AM
GM: “The youngest looked like he had stepped into a cobweb and hadn't noticed yet and had found a little greyish cap that looked a bit like a kitchen pan, while the older one had managed to find a silly-looking pointy red hat, which sort of made him look like a sad garden gnome.”
Doc: “I see what you did there.”


I don't see what the GM did there...

...granted I haven't had coffee yet so my brain is not at all functioning at optimal levels, and I'm hopelessly out-of-touch with large swaths of pop-culture if it's a reference...

DigoDragon
2015-09-24, 08:23 AM
I don't see what the GM did there...

It was referencing this miniseries:
http://img07.deviantart.net/982d/i/2014/310/1/a/_spoilers__over_the_garden_wall_by_sharkie19-d85i3qa.png

It's called Over the Garden Wall, and I found it to be a really neat animated adventure. you can see some Miyazaki inspiration within it.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-24, 08:28 AM
Actually... it sounds more fun/appropriate for less mature players - either those in the age range of the characters, or at least still remember what that age is like. As much as some people may be deluded into believing it never happens, there are a lot of sexually-active teenagers (I was 13 when I started!)

Yep, and exactly why a staggered age of consent is a good idea. Do people really think they can stop teenagers from doing such things? I'm sure that legalising it can solve the problems that education can't.

I mean, my cousin thinks It's sad to have not already been doing that sort of stuff by the age of consent (strange that I'm the one without a baby then, oh, wait). In some areas it happens so often that actually applying the law would freeze up the courts.

But yes, we should forget that 13 year olds aren't ken dolls.

JAL_1138
2015-09-24, 08:31 AM
It was referencing this miniseries:
http://img07.deviantart.net/982d/i/2014/310/1/a/_spoilers__over_the_garden_wall_by_sharkie19-d85i3qa.png

It's called Over the Garden Wall, and I found it to be a really neat animated adventure. you can see some Miyazaki inspiration within it.

Thanks for the explanation. At some point I need to start engaging with modern times instead of yelling at them to get off my lawn :P

Sith_Happens
2015-09-24, 11:19 AM
staggered age of consent

This being what exactly? If it's anything along the lines of "Any couple within [X] years of age of each other is fine [with certain exceptions]" I'm pretty sure some US states do that.

JAL_1138
2015-09-24, 11:53 AM
*May not name a god Athe just so there can be a god of atheism.
**Must stop stealing jokes from SMBC.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-24, 01:18 PM
This being what exactly? If it's anything along the lines of "Any couple within [X] years of age of each other is fine [with certain exceptions]" I'm pretty sure some US states do that.

It says 'anybody over age X can do it, people under the age of Y can't do it, but people between the ages of X and Y can do it with people within Z years of their age [with exceptions]'. It's essentially saying that if both parties are young, it's fine, but young and old is banned to try and stop exploitation.

JAL_1138
2015-09-24, 09:50 PM
*May not use Animate Objects on small stone jars of AD&D green slime.
**May not complain endlessly that 5e took any and all of the fear out of green slime and made it a lame and fairly mild acid.
***May not claim that someone hasn't really played AD&D until they've had a character get killed by green slime.

*May not invent a green-slime-proof super soaker and spray it onto enemies.
**May not use it to replace the portable ram, either.
***May certainly not invent a green-slime sprinkler and use it from a balloon.
****Gno gnomes!

Sith_Happens
2015-09-25, 01:04 AM
* "Julii" is not pronounced the same as "Zhu-Li."
** The Julii were not wiped out for their failure to correctly "do the thing."

Lvl 2 Expert
2015-09-25, 02:13 AM
But yes, we should forget that 13 year olds aren't ken dolls.

Whether that means all adults are comfortable playing 13 year olds who have to talk other teenagers into sleeping with them in order to save the world is of course a very different matter.

It's not so much about whether it's squicky that 13 year olds have sex, it's about wether it can be squicky if people are playing a game where the goal is to make 13 year olds have sex. Some players on top of that would probably go into describing exactly what is going on in those bedrooms (or kitchens, or mecha cockpits). At this point, yes, I might see some problems with some of the groups or individuals that would like to play a game like that.

I'm sure it can be a lot of fun with the right group. Maybe actual teens playing it, maybe just people enjoying the silly premise or even people who just like the mechanics, but if you play this with a group of people you don't know well be advised that a single player could turn the game disturbing really fast. Much faster than they could in a game not focused on 13 year olds having sex, because at least there you can point out exactly why their way of playing the game is weird: they're supposed to be fighting monsters, not making teenagers ****.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-25, 05:09 AM
Whether that means all adults are comfortable playing 13 year olds who have to talk other teenagers into sleeping with them in order to save the world is of course a very different matter.

It's not so much about whether it's squicky that 13 year olds have sex, it's about wether it can be squicky if people are playing a game where the goal is to make 13 year olds have sex. Some players on top of that would probably go into describing exactly what is going on in those bedrooms (or kitchens, or mecha cockpits). At this point, yes, I might see some problems with some of the groups or individuals that would like to play a game like that.

I'm sure it can be a lot of fun with the right group. Maybe actual teens playing it, maybe just people enjoying the silly premise or even people who just like the mechanics, but if you play this with a group of people you don't know well be advised that a single player could turn the game disturbing really fast. Much faster than they could in a game not focused on 13 year olds having sex, because at least there you can point out exactly why their way of playing the game is weird: they're supposed to be fighting monsters, not making teenagers ****.

Oh I agree with regards to the game, I just know enough people who denies that it happens at all in real life. As far as I know teenagers ****ing is mean to be flavour to a game of relationships and blasting aliens, and I hope I'm right.

TheTeaMustFlow
2015-09-25, 07:04 AM
*Spontaneous renditions of songs from Les Miserables will be limited to one per session.
**This rule also applies to songs from any and all Muppet productions.
***If we manage to sneak Professional Pirate past the DM with a straight face, dead men tell no tales.

Sith_Happens
2015-09-25, 07:35 AM
*Spontaneous renditions of songs from Les Miserables will be limited to one per session.

** Following up with "Defying Gravity" is just bad taste.

DigoDragon
2015-09-25, 07:51 AM
** Following up with "Defying Gravity" is just bad taste.

I was so disappointed in that show.


* I'm no longer allowed to make donuts on the airport tarmac with a fuel truck.

JAL_1138
2015-09-25, 08:32 AM
*May not hijack and disassemble a truckload of smoke detectors for the americium-241.

TheTeaMustFlow
2015-09-25, 08:39 AM
*There is no Paladin `Oath of the Proletariat`.
** Even if there was, any bonuses they get against Tories would apply neither to Irish outlaws, nor people named Tory.
*** They would certainly not be required to wield a Bec de Corbyn.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-25, 08:45 AM
* Even if the game is anime inspired, there is a chest size between 'DFC' and 'MELONS!'
** My character cannot see normal sized breasts as exotic.
*** Especially when I know full well there are anime that do have more realistic proportions.

* Cannot imply that D&D might not be the best system to play a game with.
** Under no circumstances am I allowed to suggest that GURPS is great at a genre (heavily-detailed Sci-Fi, it actually is really good at it).

JAL_1138
2015-09-25, 08:54 AM
(already mentioned in a previous thread that I can't pull this trick on a player, but still)
*May not bluff the DM that I can take weapon proficiency in catamaran watercraft by pulling up info on pontoon boats when asked to explain what the spontoon polearm on the weapons list is.
**Not allowed to exploit the low price and weight listed for the spontoon in order to build a working airship at first level.
***Gno gnomes.

Edit:
*May not suggest that D&D isn't even always the best system to play D&D with, depending on edition, game style, power scale, and crunch tolerance.

Anonymouswizard
2015-09-25, 09:26 AM
* May not admit that other RPGs exist.

Yes, this has happened. Apparently being able to identify a decent game for almost any genre scares new players off (this is the gaming society at my uni, who have the same view on the terms PC and d20). I haven't had to recommend High School Harem Comedy yet, though.

* If people might have not played an RPG before I may not try to run GURPS.
** May not write a system called GYROS just so i dont have to edit my post.

goto124
2015-09-25, 09:26 AM
***If we manage to sneak Professional Pirate past the DM with a straight face, dead men tell no tales.

**** May not attempt to rules lawyer with 'I am no man!'

* May not has what GYROS is.
** May not ask if GYROS is a real system after the Anonymouswizard edited his post.

* May not point out that, in a High School Harem Comedy, someone has to be the One Male Every Girl Hits On.

Wookieetank
2015-09-25, 09:34 AM
***If we manage to sneak Professional Pirate past the DM with a straight face, dead men tell no tales.

This is awesome.
****The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything is likewise banned.
****.a Especially in Spelljammer.

Rater202
2015-09-25, 09:38 AM
* May not point out that, in a High School Harem Comedy, someone has to be the One Male Every Girl Hits On.**May not volunteer to be the one guy, then make him gay after everyone else has made girls.

goto124
2015-09-25, 09:40 AM
**May not volunteer to be the one guy, then make him gay after everyone else has made girls.

*** May not say that the harem comedy requires the male to stay single for the length of the entire campaign anyway.

* May not mention that Doc has a pseudolonglosttwinbrother, and there was a NotPenny...
** May not touch wood.

Draconium
2015-09-25, 09:40 AM
* May not point out that, in a High School Harem Comedy, someone has to be the One Male Every Girl Hits On.

Oh, fine, I'll do it if you insist... :smalltongue:

*I may not pump my character's Charisma score if it has no mechanical benefits for my class.
**Claiming I can use my high Charisma score to talk people into doing anything for me doesn't count.

goto124
2015-09-25, 09:46 AM
* Cannot do a Sexism Deconstruction of harem

JAL_1138
2015-09-25, 09:51 AM
* May not admit that other RPGs exist.

Yes, this has happened. Apparently being able to identify a decent game for almost any genre scares new players off (this is the gaming society at my uni, who have the same view on the terms PC and d20). I haven't had to recommend High School Harem Comedy yet, though.

* If people might have not played an RPG before I may not try to run GURPS.
** May not write a system called GYROS just so i dont have to edit my post.

GURPS might be a bit much for new players, granted. If nothing else, option paralysis can be an issue, and it can be rather crunch-heavy.

Better to start them on a simple, streamlined, intuitive system like AD&D 2e.

Draconium
2015-09-25, 09:57 AM
*If the DM says the new D&D game we play is going to be influenced by anime, I may not create a character straight out of a Slice of Life.
**I may not go the opposite route and make the most over-the-top, cheesy, overpowered Shōnen character ever.
***If I try to make Shooting Star from Record of Lodoss War, I will have books thrown at me.

Sith_Happens
2015-09-25, 10:24 AM
*May not hijack and disassemble a truckload of smoke detectors for the americium-241.

...What do you even need a radioisotope thermoelectric generator for that doesn't involve being in space, though?:smallconfused:


* May not point out that, in a High School Harem Comedy, someone has to be the One Male Every Girl Hits On.

Last I checked he's generally supposed to be an NPC, actually.


* Cannot do a Sexism Deconstruction of harem

** May not point out that Reverse Harem (http://www.anime-planet.com/anime/tags/reverse-harem) exists.
*** Absolutely NO compare-and-contrasts!

JAL_1138
2015-09-25, 10:38 AM
...What do you even need a radioisotope thermoelectric generator for that doesn't involve being in space?

Possible reasons:

a) FOR SCIENCE!

b) For my satellite.

c) To go off the grid and stay off.

d) To replace the one we broke before anyone notices.

e) To sell a relatively-useless-for-weapon-purposes isotope to a buyer who can't tell anything more than "yup, that's radioactive."

Wookieetank
2015-09-25, 10:46 AM
Better to start them on a simple, streamlined, intuitive system like AD&D 2e.

I'll give this a +1. :smallwink:

Aetol
2015-09-25, 12:43 PM
*May not hijack and disassemble a truckload of smoke detectors for the americium-241.

** May not point out someone (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hahn) actually did just that.