Ettina
2015-09-11, 01:47 PM
OK, so setting note first: It's set in a place geographically similar to the Mediterranean, with many different kingdoms along a warm sea, and the policing of sea traffic is poor, so there's lots of piracy. Also, the vast majority of people have magical abilities, which are powered by excess soul. (The other, more important task of souls in this world is powering the brain, so basically anything a person's brain does in real life needs soul to power it in this world.)
This one character, Morgana, was a big bad pirate queen and a very powerful sorceress. (Kind of the magical equivalent of a person with an IQ of 180.) She basically used her power and her keen political mind to position herself as the leader of all the pirates in the sea, brutally crushing anyone who opposed her. She also invented a spell to rip someone's soul out and shred it to pieces (she calls it the soul-steal). This almost always kills them, but on one occasion, she missed a piece of this one guy's soul and he survived with his magic gone and with severe cognitive disabilities.
Then, someone figures out how to use Morgana's trademark spell on her, and instead of killing her, she ends up in the same state as the guy who survived. A bunch of stuff happens which is too complicated to get into right now, and she winds up in the care of her younger sister, Serenna, who is just as strong a sorceress as she used to be.
Now, Serenna (who is the perspective character) is deeply in denial about Morgana's actions, and she's convinced her sister is a paragon of goodness who is being unfairly maligned. So, she decides she's got to fix Morgana's soul.
She's kind of stuck for how at first. She can temporarily lend Morgana her soul, allowing them to communicate by writing notes to each other, but her soul snaps back into her body pretty quickly. However, one of the pirates who used to work for Morgana comes looking at the farm for her, and tries to kidnap Morgana to take back so the guy he's working for can prove she's dead by publicly executing her. (She left a big leadership gap when she went missing.) Serenna catches him in the act, and immediately puts him in a spelled sleep, then, at a loss for what to do with him, she just keeps him as a prisoner.
Meanwhile, she writes a note asking Morgana what to do with this guy, and then lends Morgana her soul. Morgana immediately realizes that this guy has a working soul, and maybe she could rig up a spell to give his soul to her permanently. So, she tells Serenna that she has an idea, and instructs Serenna on how to set up the supplies, while not revealing what she actually plans to do.
So, now Morgana is ripping out pieces of this guy's soul and giving them to herself, while Serenna is oblivious. But the guy in the spelled sleep still has all his bodily needs, and one time while Serenna is trying to feed him, he chokes on the food and almost dies. For this and other reasons, Serenna ends up waking him up to see if she can hold him prisoner without keeping him asleep 24/7.
Now, this guy has already lost quite a bit of soul at this point, and one of the first things to go is the ability to speak, so it's pretty obvious something is wrong with him. But Serenna decides he must have suffered a brain injury when he choked on his food that one time.
However, at this point, he's still able to mostly understand what she's saying, as well as dress himself and go to the bathroom and so forth - all skills he's going to lose as the story progresses. I need Serenna to deny that this is happening, even as it becomes blatantly obvious to the reader. But what should I have her do when he starts wetting himself regularly, or tries and fails to dress himself properly, or stops answering yes/no questions? I mean, she could get mad at him assuming he's doing it deliberately, but that will get tiresome after awhile. She could also make up excuses for him, but if so, I'm stuck on what they would be.
This one character, Morgana, was a big bad pirate queen and a very powerful sorceress. (Kind of the magical equivalent of a person with an IQ of 180.) She basically used her power and her keen political mind to position herself as the leader of all the pirates in the sea, brutally crushing anyone who opposed her. She also invented a spell to rip someone's soul out and shred it to pieces (she calls it the soul-steal). This almost always kills them, but on one occasion, she missed a piece of this one guy's soul and he survived with his magic gone and with severe cognitive disabilities.
Then, someone figures out how to use Morgana's trademark spell on her, and instead of killing her, she ends up in the same state as the guy who survived. A bunch of stuff happens which is too complicated to get into right now, and she winds up in the care of her younger sister, Serenna, who is just as strong a sorceress as she used to be.
Now, Serenna (who is the perspective character) is deeply in denial about Morgana's actions, and she's convinced her sister is a paragon of goodness who is being unfairly maligned. So, she decides she's got to fix Morgana's soul.
She's kind of stuck for how at first. She can temporarily lend Morgana her soul, allowing them to communicate by writing notes to each other, but her soul snaps back into her body pretty quickly. However, one of the pirates who used to work for Morgana comes looking at the farm for her, and tries to kidnap Morgana to take back so the guy he's working for can prove she's dead by publicly executing her. (She left a big leadership gap when she went missing.) Serenna catches him in the act, and immediately puts him in a spelled sleep, then, at a loss for what to do with him, she just keeps him as a prisoner.
Meanwhile, she writes a note asking Morgana what to do with this guy, and then lends Morgana her soul. Morgana immediately realizes that this guy has a working soul, and maybe she could rig up a spell to give his soul to her permanently. So, she tells Serenna that she has an idea, and instructs Serenna on how to set up the supplies, while not revealing what she actually plans to do.
So, now Morgana is ripping out pieces of this guy's soul and giving them to herself, while Serenna is oblivious. But the guy in the spelled sleep still has all his bodily needs, and one time while Serenna is trying to feed him, he chokes on the food and almost dies. For this and other reasons, Serenna ends up waking him up to see if she can hold him prisoner without keeping him asleep 24/7.
Now, this guy has already lost quite a bit of soul at this point, and one of the first things to go is the ability to speak, so it's pretty obvious something is wrong with him. But Serenna decides he must have suffered a brain injury when he choked on his food that one time.
However, at this point, he's still able to mostly understand what she's saying, as well as dress himself and go to the bathroom and so forth - all skills he's going to lose as the story progresses. I need Serenna to deny that this is happening, even as it becomes blatantly obvious to the reader. But what should I have her do when he starts wetting himself regularly, or tries and fails to dress himself properly, or stops answering yes/no questions? I mean, she could get mad at him assuming he's doing it deliberately, but that will get tiresome after awhile. She could also make up excuses for him, but if so, I'm stuck on what they would be.