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MrZJunior
2015-09-12, 07:42 AM
So the evil sorcerer is always cursing the Kingdom with disease, eternal night, or something else like that. What are some alternate curses that a more modern sorcerer could use?

I'm thinking an economic crash or a plague of bad debt.

Murk
2015-09-12, 08:16 AM
A curse of No Wifi Signal.
All food goes bad.
No one speaks the same language anymore (though that might be a little more divine).
All furniture shifts a few centimeters to the left, so everyone keeps stubbing their little toe.
Bad odours everywhere.
Reversed gravity.

hymer
2015-09-12, 08:37 AM
Have all electricity cease to function. That'd be some curse on modern society. The death toll would be catastrophic, and societies would collapse in a matter of days.

goto124
2015-09-12, 10:39 AM
All furniture shifts a few centimeters to the left, so everyone keeps stubbing their little toe.

Legos everywhere!

Model them as caltrops for purposes of the mechanics. You may or may not allow footwear to provide AC against lego bricks.

Strigon
2015-09-12, 11:47 AM
Nuclear is always a good option.
An engineered supervirus could work, or a computer virus shutting down everything (literally everything, down to the robots in factories and ATMs.)
Taking down power plants, cell towers or satellites would also do some damage.

Who are you trying to hurt, and how powerful are you?

NowhereMan583
2015-09-12, 12:32 PM
Plague of Reverse Alignment.
With a twist that all Neutral characters switch to one of the four extremes (randomly chosen at infection).

Just imagine the chaos as it spreads.

MrZJunior
2015-09-12, 05:50 PM
I was just joking around.

The king is cursed with democracy and must now defend his crown in an election.

Honest Tiefling
2015-09-12, 07:10 PM
I'd revert all computers and similar electronics to ancient forms. BAM! Flatscreen TV is now a 1960's version, complete with wood paneling. BAM! iphone becomes a walkman taped to a brick of a cellphone. BAM! Playstation becomes a very old atari.

DataNinja
2015-09-12, 09:19 PM
I'd revert all computers and similar electronics to ancient forms. BAM! Flatscreen TV is now a 1960's version, complete with wood paneling. BAM! iphone becomes a walkman taped to a brick of a cellphone. BAM! Playstation becomes a very old atari.

Ancient? What millennia are you from? :smalltongue:

Inevitability
2015-09-13, 02:52 AM
The Ancient Curse of Domobuzzzor, of course! At first glance, it does nothing, but a few times per hour all under its effect will think they hear a mosquito buzzing past their ear. Yes, that includes at night. And it is a magical effect that bypasses earplugs and the like.

BWR
2015-09-13, 04:54 AM
I think this (http://comic.nodwick.com/?comic=2008-03-05)little Nodwick story has some good ideas.

MrZJunior
2015-09-13, 05:01 AM
I think this (http://comic.nodwick.com/?comic=2008-03-05)little Nodwick story has some good ideas.

There are some good ones in there.

Murk
2015-09-13, 05:04 AM
Mathematics homework.
Stress-induced burn-outs.
All coffee tastes like it comes out of a package.
Google gives all the wrong answers.

Eldan
2015-09-13, 09:56 AM
How about some really existing conditions? How about Prosopagnosia? The inability to recognize human faces. Not just that you're bad at them. You can't recognize any of them.

Or how about a small irregularity in the inner ear, that makes you constantly believe you're falling at terminal velocity, or that gravity is pointing sideways?

Honest Tiefling
2015-09-13, 12:09 PM
Ancient? What millennia are you from? :smalltongue:

I prefer to think that I am a part of the segment of people who don't drag typewriters to cafes or think LPs are somehow better then CDs. Basically, the worst curse I could imagine is turning everyone into hipsters.

Solaris
2015-09-13, 02:41 PM
I prefer to think that I am a part of the segment of people who don't drag typewriters to cafes or think LPs are somehow better then CDs. Basically, the worst curse I could imagine is turning everyone into hipsters.

Dude, I was coming in here to suggest some genocidal means of ending modern society with just a few relatively simple tricks, but that's too evil even for me.
That makes me shudder just thinking about it.

Keltest
2015-09-13, 02:43 PM
Everybody becomes unable to speak in words of less than thirteen syllables. Any attempt to speak fewer in a single word will either result in silence or speaking so fast as to remove the distinction between words.

Strigon
2015-09-13, 02:47 PM
Or how about a small irregularity in the inner ear, that makes you constantly believe you're falling at terminal velocity...

Wouldn't falling at terminal velocity feel the same as sitting/standing/lying down?

Murk
2015-09-13, 04:32 PM
Wouldn't falling at terminal velocity feel the same as sitting/standing/lying down?

A curse that suddenly changes the meaning of terminal velocity!

Imagine the communicational chaos.

bpzinn
2015-09-17, 02:41 AM
So the evil sorcerer is always cursing the Kingdom with disease, eternal night, or something else like that. What are some alternate curses that a more modern sorcerer could use?

I'm thinking an economic crash or a plague of bad debt.
Insurance is a integral part of modern life, being legally mandated in many cases. How about a curse like Insurance Or Else, that causes everything you own to break down if used without the legally required insurance. So no car insurance, and you are now driving a Hollywood pinto. No, mandated health insurance, and you are constantly sick. No house insurance and your mortgage requires it, and a tornado totals your house (and only your house). Perfect for priests of the powers of law and order.

Or the dreaded curse of Planned Oblesence, that causes everything you use that was under Warranty to break down if the cursed person uses it after the warranty expires. Better get the extended service plan on everything. Comes in two versions: One effects everything the cursed person uses, regardless of who owns it; the other effects everything the cursed person owns, regardless of who uses it.

Or the curse of No OSHA Compliance? This curse reduces or eliminates entirely (depending on spell strength) the benefits (but not penalties) of equipment intended to keep you safe. It is based on an old curse made to render an opponents armor ineffective, to take account of the modern age. Under its effects, a seat-belt is just as uncomfortable, but snaps in a crash, giving you no benefit. A bullet-proof vest, isn't. That Motorcycle helmet or hardhat does nothing but give you helmet hair and a hearing penalty. Drivers gain no spot bonus to see you despite the reflective tape on you bike, etc.

Sredni Vashtar
2015-09-19, 05:11 PM
The Curse of Perpetual Traffic Jams/Staff Meetings
The Curse of Compounding Minor Inconveniences
The Curse of the Soccer Mummy




No one speaks the same language anymore (though that might be a little more divine).


How about some really existing conditions? How about Prosopagnosia? The inability to recognize human faces. Not just that you're bad at them. You can't recognize any of them.

Combining these would be particularly nasty. I like that. :smallbiggrin:

Eldan
2015-09-19, 05:57 PM
Wouldn't falling at terminal velocity feel the same as sitting/standing/lying down?

Okay, not terminal velocity, I guess. Just that feeling when you're suddenly falling. Sometimes people get it while falling asleep and suddenly wake up again? There are, in reality, people who have that feeling continually. They always feel as if they are slipping and falling, often in a weird direction.

Flickerdart
2015-09-19, 06:10 PM
A curse of recession.

lunaticfringe
2015-09-20, 02:25 PM
Gender Swap; Sexual Orientation Swap; No More Internet Ever; Fossil Fuels No Longer Combust; Hands Turn Into Hooves/Paws(no thumbs); Amphibian Skin(gotta stay wet, absorb pollution/chemicals); The Only Emotion You Feel is the Last One You Felt Before the Curse; Everyone is Addicted to Crack; Everyone has Agoraphobia; No One Can Lie and Must Answer non Rhetorical Questions.

Thisguy_
2015-09-20, 05:04 PM
Plague of Acute Synesthesia.

Inability to perform basic arithmetic without meticulous care. (As a math student, I sometimes feel as though I have this...)

Curse of Newspeak. Pick an important concept; nobody can understand words relating to it anymore.

Example concept: Oppression.
Example words to "forget:" Leader, Government, Revolution, Dissent, Political, Federal, National, State, Opress, and anything using the same roots/synonymous roots. Take away the words and the meanings will eventually go with them, right?

Curse of Depression. You have to make a will save to get up in the morning, are more susceptible to emotional control spells (disadvantage or -5 to your saves), and must Will save to do anything more difficult than shambling around or getting something out of the refrigerator (like making a coffee or taking a pill).

Curse of Compulsive Impulse. If you think something, you do the thing. Immediately. There is no "Will that hurt/hinder me?" involved until you're in the middle of doing the thing.

Curse of Anchorman Lingo: You speak meticulously and clearly and do not speak in "slang" words. If you develop a need to speak a "slang" word for the purpose of communication, you use "air quotes."

Curse of Bureaucratic Mundanity: Like the curse on the Ring of Bureaucratic Wizardry (https://www.reddit.com/r/dndnext/comments/2yqzf7/for_the_rules_lawyers_in_your_party/?sort=confidence), except it applies to anything which one could reasonably describe as a "relocation" or a "transaction," like crossing the threshold of your home or getting something out of the fridge. Or speaking with another human being.

Lvl 2 Expert
2015-09-20, 05:15 PM
Food crops start growing so well they threaten to overgrow everything.

Rabbits, rabbits everywhere.

Everyone has their single deepest wish fulfilled. This would be fine for most people, and even the few who are wishing for revenge would cause only small losses on the scale of a society, but you just know there are some people out there who really want to have superpowers, or build intelligent war robots, or repopulate Europe with mammoths. Not to mention all the billions of children on this planet.

Everyone now speaks in text balloons rather than sounds. On the plus side, literally speaking an angry emoticon while also looking at someone angry might be pretty cool.

Everyone gets an uncontrollable urge to wear dark sunglasses everywhere, all the time.

Kane0
2015-09-21, 06:19 AM
Binary becomes incomprehensible gibberish, unable to be translated nor replicated

Fearan
2015-09-21, 07:26 AM
Basically, the worst curse I could imagine is turning everyone into hipsters.
But if everyone would become a hipster, wouldn't being a hipster become too mainstream?

Okay, here's the curse, that terrifies me personally - the dread curse of caffeine no longer working as intended

DigoDragon
2015-09-21, 07:47 AM
All coffee tastes like it comes out of a package.

So what's changed? :smallbiggrin:



Google gives all the wrong answers.

I'm imagining the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button now becomes a very reliable way to hit exactly the return search you want.

Joe the Rat
2015-09-21, 08:19 AM
Have you ever encountered a curse of questions?
Have you ever played questions?
Would it be annoying to talk like that all the time?
Or if you had to answer every question with another question?
Wouldn't it be nice to not be wracked with agony whenever you used a rhetorical question?
Can you imagine an entire village or kingdom plagued by this?
Do all the cows go "Moo?"
Do all the children have one word vocabularies ("Why?")?
Will haggling ever reach a resolution?
What happens to all the religious ceremonies?

Do you think that's evil enough?

Thisguy_
2015-09-21, 09:05 AM
Curse of Undying Music: All devices capable of playing music intelligently select the song that would most annoy the people within earshot. The device will immediately begin to play the song, beginning to end, on loop until no longer physically appropriate for producing sound (electricity not required for operation).

Lvl 2 Expert
2015-09-21, 10:03 AM
Curse of Undying Music: All devices capable of playing music intelligently select the song that would most annoy the people within earshot. The device will immediately begin to play the song, beginning to end, on loop until no longer physically appropriate for producing sound (electricity not required for operation).

This would lead to an epic worldwide game of "swap that radio" to get everyone the song they liked.

Before people would get annoyed by that music too after about half a day and would still end up destroying the devices.

Knaight
2015-09-21, 10:17 AM
Some of the old style stuff still works beautifully. Crop destruction of modern monocultures, locusts, etc.

Another fun avenue would be things that change materials, and screw up machinery. All the steel in a city has its thermal expansion coefficient tripled, plastics lose their additives and turn very brittle, seals break and everything with pneumatic or hydraulic parts fails, the resistivity of circuits changes.

Storm_Of_Snow
2015-09-21, 11:23 AM
Does Simon Cowell count as a curse? :smallwink:


Legos everywhere!

Model them as caltrops for purposes of the mechanics. You may or may not allow footwear to provide AC against lego bricks.

Lego bricks - the only thing more painful to stand on than a 3-pin plug.


All coffee tastes like it comes out of a package.

No, something worse than that - all coffee is decaffinated.

The software industry would be paralysed in less than five minutes.

More seriously - a plague of rust. Coupled with hyper fast UV degradation of plastics.

nedz
2015-09-23, 02:33 PM
Alimony suite SPAM.
All music sounds like it's being played by someone's ipod, when they're sitting at the far end of the bus.
Everything in the Conservipedia becomes true.

Temperjoke
2015-09-23, 02:44 PM
Curse of Dragging Time - constantly having the feeling that time is running slow, when it is running perfectly fine. So it feels like hours waiting for the tea kettle to heat up, TV commercials seem like they're on for days, each work day feels like a week instead of 8 hours

Curse of Perpetual BO - no matter how many times you shower, or what deodorant you use, you have that slight smell of funk around you, not too much, just the slight smell that people notice if they're standing next to you

Curse of Constant Bad Hair - no matter how much time or money you spend, your hair will never quite style the way you want it to. Adjust one lock, another one falls out of place, think you have everything set, then you look at it again, you decide that you hate it

Lvl 2 Expert
2015-09-23, 03:11 PM
Curse of Constant Bad Hair

That one is already in d&d, you just polymorph someone into highland cattle.
http://g1.img-dpreview.com/FC744F66D379419A977D669B7AF3574B.jpg

nedz
2015-09-23, 10:00 PM
Everytime you open a door you find a (Determine randomly)

Sheep
Brickwall
Handle in your hand
Rat
Motorcyclist who rides straight through the doorway
Dragon

DataNinja
2015-09-23, 11:38 PM
Everytime you open a door you find a (Determine randomly)

Sheep
Brickwall
Handle in your hand
Rat
Motorcyclist who rides straight through the doorway
Dragon


What?!? Two thirds of the time you should find a goat, and the other third a car blocking your way! :smallbiggrin:

JAL_1138
2015-09-24, 12:03 AM
The Ancient Curse of Domobuzzzor, of course! At first glance, it does nothing, but a few times per hour all under its effect will think they hear a mosquito buzzing past their ear. Yes, that includes at night. And it is a magical effect that bypasses earplugs and the like.

You monster. :smalltongue:

Lvl 2 Expert
2015-09-24, 06:18 AM
What?!? Two thirds of the time you should find a goat, and the other third a car blocking your way! :smallbiggrin:

Unless you play it smart, then your path is blocked half the time.

GungHo
2015-09-24, 10:05 AM
Mindbook: Every thought you have, no matter how banal or twisted, is instantly published on a publicly perusable profile.

Lvl 2 Expert
2015-09-24, 10:46 AM
Mindbook: Every thought you have, no matter how banal or twisted, is instantly published on a publicly perusable profile.

17:44 Expert thought: "Crap."
17:45 Expert thought: "Why is this a thing?"
17:45 Expert thought: "Don't think about sex, don't think about sex."

Wardog
2015-09-24, 03:08 PM
From Discworld (Pyramids): The Plague of Frog. (Which to be fair, was a very large and loud frog, and got into the ventilation ducts and kept everyone awake at night for ages).

Segev
2015-09-24, 03:37 PM
"May the rising generation be EVERY BIT as BAD as the OLDEST LIVING generation THINKS it is!"

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump look-alike and swimsuit contest, live on every screen everywhere!"

"Social Justice Warriors are given super-powers."

nedz
2015-09-24, 06:49 PM
"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump look-alike and swimsuit contest, live on every screen everywhere!"
I thought we weren't allowed to discus contemporary politics ?