Shadow of the Sun
2007-05-13, 09:17 AM
Well, I just wrote up a plot for the Town that is apparently well written (not my words, I assure you.) As such, I'd like it critiqued.
Yes, it does display some Prattchetarian influence. An homage to an incredible writer.
Without further ado:
The Rock
Too the casual observer, space, the ultimate penumbra, isn't that interesting. In fact, it looks quite like someone sprinkled glitter into a pool of ink.
Of course, it only gets interesting when you use more focus.
And now, let us zoom in from this infinite spectacle where everything can happen, to somewhere where everything does.
Ca-Click.
To the casual observer now, there would be no practical difference. To the educated, interested observer, there would be a slight difference- a difference in star placement here, a missing star there. Still not enough focus.
Ca-Click
Now, we reach the point where the casual observer may notice the difference; the stars all look bigger now, and you can spot identifiable galaxies. However, our path takes us even closer.
Ca-Click.
We are now focused on a single galaxy. It is a swirling, beautiful thing, housing many wonders and many profanities, many wondrous beings and many vile ones. But our path does not end here. It takes us closer.
Ca-Click.
Our focus is now a quadrant. Individual stars can now be seen, and the interested mind can speculate what wonders they hold, what peoples each houses. And yet again we walk our path, leading us closer.
Ca-Click.
We now observe a sector. Now not only can stars bee seen, large planets can be also. It is at this point the normal mans mind would begin to warp; to accept the existence of such a thing takes legendary wisdom.
Ca-Click.
And now, in one glorious moment, we see a solar system in all of it's glory. Large planets, small planets, satellites, moons, and for some reason an extra-terrestrial penguin can be seen. Our view gazes to a particular planet, and focuses further.
Ca-Click.
On this planet we see many things, oceans, deserts, and most surprising at all, life. Of all the planets in the galaxy, why should this one have life? Because the gods chose it so? Because Fate is playing tricks? Who knows, unless we move in even further.
Ca-Click.
We are now focused on an unusual town, which contains a variety of beings from a variety of places, all with one thing that binds them, a restless spirit and a roving mind. Should your eyes be able to see through matter, you will see women cooking, children playing, couples doing...couplie-things. And should your eyes be even further attuned, you may be able to see tangents of reality off from the normal one. However, let your gaze slide...
Ca-Click.
Our focus is now not on the town, but millions of miles away. A speck, in the grand scheme of things less significant than a flake of skin, may be seen to move. It is known as The Rock. And it is on a collision course with our planet, and indeed our town.
This is how the world ends. Not with a whimper but a bang.
Yes, it does display some Prattchetarian influence. An homage to an incredible writer.
Without further ado:
The Rock
Too the casual observer, space, the ultimate penumbra, isn't that interesting. In fact, it looks quite like someone sprinkled glitter into a pool of ink.
Of course, it only gets interesting when you use more focus.
And now, let us zoom in from this infinite spectacle where everything can happen, to somewhere where everything does.
Ca-Click.
To the casual observer now, there would be no practical difference. To the educated, interested observer, there would be a slight difference- a difference in star placement here, a missing star there. Still not enough focus.
Ca-Click
Now, we reach the point where the casual observer may notice the difference; the stars all look bigger now, and you can spot identifiable galaxies. However, our path takes us even closer.
Ca-Click.
We are now focused on a single galaxy. It is a swirling, beautiful thing, housing many wonders and many profanities, many wondrous beings and many vile ones. But our path does not end here. It takes us closer.
Ca-Click.
Our focus is now a quadrant. Individual stars can now be seen, and the interested mind can speculate what wonders they hold, what peoples each houses. And yet again we walk our path, leading us closer.
Ca-Click.
We now observe a sector. Now not only can stars bee seen, large planets can be also. It is at this point the normal mans mind would begin to warp; to accept the existence of such a thing takes legendary wisdom.
Ca-Click.
And now, in one glorious moment, we see a solar system in all of it's glory. Large planets, small planets, satellites, moons, and for some reason an extra-terrestrial penguin can be seen. Our view gazes to a particular planet, and focuses further.
Ca-Click.
On this planet we see many things, oceans, deserts, and most surprising at all, life. Of all the planets in the galaxy, why should this one have life? Because the gods chose it so? Because Fate is playing tricks? Who knows, unless we move in even further.
Ca-Click.
We are now focused on an unusual town, which contains a variety of beings from a variety of places, all with one thing that binds them, a restless spirit and a roving mind. Should your eyes be able to see through matter, you will see women cooking, children playing, couples doing...couplie-things. And should your eyes be even further attuned, you may be able to see tangents of reality off from the normal one. However, let your gaze slide...
Ca-Click.
Our focus is now not on the town, but millions of miles away. A speck, in the grand scheme of things less significant than a flake of skin, may be seen to move. It is known as The Rock. And it is on a collision course with our planet, and indeed our town.
This is how the world ends. Not with a whimper but a bang.