DamienLunas
2007-05-13, 11:40 AM
Credit for the name goes to h_v. This is basically the opposite of the stupidity stories. Stories of things so crazy they work and are just awesome. I have a few to share. Please ignore all typos, as I cut my finger slicing watermelon yesterday.
Story #1
My DM was doing a PBP super epic level campaign where we eventually went up against Nerull. When we finally did, he was a cheap bastard. We didn't exactly have any spellcasters, and he just flew up a hundred feet in the air pelting us with annoying spells. Luckily, I picked up an Ioun stone that absorbs spells, and our ghoul rogue and centaur kept making their saves. Eventually after a very mean meteor storm, I got my idea. My character is an 8-bit theater (http://www.nuklearpower.com/redmage19.php) fighter, and gets a nice bonus thanks to rabbit style and really good strength to jump. So I made a bluff check saying that Nerull was scared because I can jump 40 feet in the air and slice him up. I can't jump THAT high, just about 10 feet with a good check. Now, since I obviously fail that bluff, him being a god and all, he decides to mock me by moving 40 feet above the ground. So I make a jump check, and go about 10 feet in the air. But what he didn't know, was that I have a ring of ram on me. So I activate 3 charges, knocking him back quite a bit. And that pissed him off just enough to fly down and attack our ghoul with his scythe. Unfortunately, this wasn't the dieties and demigods Nerull, so I made a full attack with my swordchucks of pelor artifact (It was a +5 bastard sword on one end with speed and daylight unlimited times per day and a +5 adamantine vorpal bastard sword on the other end) and used cry of the coming dawn in conjunction with our rogue's acrobatic backstab who had that one feat that lets you sneak attack anything, and sort of oblitherated him. Good times were had by all, we all got to be gods.
Story #2
Part one, aka BORING LEADUP
This one is also set in PBP, a savage tide game. We were level one, and the only offensive spells I had prepared were a magic missile and a ray of frost, which I promptly used up. The way I expected it to go, was we see Vark at the docks, and I use one of my two charm person spells to get him to give Lady Vanderboren back her ship, her cash, and her signet ring. Magic missile was only prepared because I had to have one evocation spell being a cold specialist evoker prestiging into elemental savant. Things didn't go as planned, and we had to get a boat and sneak up to the ship. When we got up onto it, only our druid, our paladin, and I were there. The rouge and barbarian were over failing their climb checks and falling in the water. So we fight a few thugs and I'm pretty much the only one doing damage, using both my ray of frost and magic missile on the first two thugs, and beating the hell out of stuff with a quarterstaff. Eventually though, the druid goes way over to the other end to kill someone sniping us, and Vark and more thugs show up. Then the paladin decides to explore the lower deck arbitrarily, and the other two are still failing climb/swim checks. I manage to take a full round action to gtfo and run after him while still dodging Vark and the thug next to me screaming that you can't leave an ally behind if you don't want to be an ex-paladin. Druid over there gets critted by a rapier and runs down the other exit to the lower deck, because he took a porpoise animal companion which he can't use. And of course, in there is a huge bug monster on the lower deck. After we defeat the thing though, Vark and his thugs are standing at the exits with crossbows, readied action, and elevation bonuses. And thus...
SNEAKY PLAN STARTS HERE!
My Wizard decides to make use of his remaining cantrips, which the only useful ones are Daze and Open/Close doors, which is still fairly useless. So he tells the Paladin to wait near the stairs while I cast close on the hatch, and ready a charge up the stairs and smite vark, while I cast daze on the other one. Meanwhile, the druid will cast summon monster one to summon an eagle, and have it fly up the other guarded stairs which will have two distracted men that he and the eagle will attack. The plan was executed with great perfection, the only hitches being that my daze failed to work. Also, by a stroke of luck, the halfling rogue was lifting up the dwarf barbarian as he finally succeeded his climb check at the same time. Again, good times were had by all as we killed everyone but Vark, who the paladin intimidated into surrendering and we turned him over to the guards.
Story #3
In an aquatic campaign, me and some of our allies (around level 6) who include a catfolk binder, a human swashbuckler, an orc barbarian, a sahuagin fighter, a cleric whose race I forgot (some weird aquatic one), a sahuagin rogue who we caught trying to steal junk on our own ship which me and the orc promptly threw onto the other ship into the middle of the battle, and me, a Human Bronze Dragon Shaman. While my allies boarded the pirate ship and owned the three main enemies who were a Dwarf, and two hadozee. One hadozee, a monk, broke away from the rogue and went to the hold to try to blow up the ship. Problem was, he's got fast movement and we're all too far away. The swashbuckler and the sahuagin were taking down the other hadozee, which was a bit far from the monk, and with fast movement probably couldn't catch up. The orc and I just finished the dwarf, which was still far from the hold, the catfolk was just standing back and using her bow, and the cleric was just calling lightning at everything from our own ship. As a dragon shaman, my alignment is constantly in jeopardy, so I can't just run off the ship as I don't think any of us are really fast enough. Fastest one is the barbarian, but he's as far away from the hold as I am. So as everyone runs in, I ready an action to charge at the right moment, and make a strength check to try to kick the swashbuckler down the stairs. Surprisingly though, it actually worked out, as he made a tumble check to avoid damage, and tackled down the Hadozee. Good times had by most.
Final story, #4
This was set in yet another PBP (yeah I play a lot) in a game where we had to fight a bunch of monsters in an arena. My opponent was a gulgar, and I was a halfling rogue/nightsong enforcer. This of course meant that it's hard to hide with tremorsense and all (yeah that was kind of mean to make him my opponent). So while it charged towards me, I quickly ran behind the pillar, while something caused it to trip (I'm not sure what, the DM just said he did). So I looked at the pillar and saw some axe marks for footholds. And I know that gulgars have terrible spot, but probably can't tell the difference between a halfling on the ground behind that pillar and a heavy inanimate object behind that pillar. so I reached into my HHH and pulled out an hourglass, weighed it down and made a dexterity check to try to put it in my place and quickly cling to the wall with climb and use my ring of chamelon power to help me hide. It succeeded, and as the gulgar rounded the corner, he was so confused that it denied his dex bonus to his ac, and I got to make a killer sneak attack against him, and run for my allies who were about finished with their opponents.
And that's all I have to say about that. Now what's your stories?
Story #1
My DM was doing a PBP super epic level campaign where we eventually went up against Nerull. When we finally did, he was a cheap bastard. We didn't exactly have any spellcasters, and he just flew up a hundred feet in the air pelting us with annoying spells. Luckily, I picked up an Ioun stone that absorbs spells, and our ghoul rogue and centaur kept making their saves. Eventually after a very mean meteor storm, I got my idea. My character is an 8-bit theater (http://www.nuklearpower.com/redmage19.php) fighter, and gets a nice bonus thanks to rabbit style and really good strength to jump. So I made a bluff check saying that Nerull was scared because I can jump 40 feet in the air and slice him up. I can't jump THAT high, just about 10 feet with a good check. Now, since I obviously fail that bluff, him being a god and all, he decides to mock me by moving 40 feet above the ground. So I make a jump check, and go about 10 feet in the air. But what he didn't know, was that I have a ring of ram on me. So I activate 3 charges, knocking him back quite a bit. And that pissed him off just enough to fly down and attack our ghoul with his scythe. Unfortunately, this wasn't the dieties and demigods Nerull, so I made a full attack with my swordchucks of pelor artifact (It was a +5 bastard sword on one end with speed and daylight unlimited times per day and a +5 adamantine vorpal bastard sword on the other end) and used cry of the coming dawn in conjunction with our rogue's acrobatic backstab who had that one feat that lets you sneak attack anything, and sort of oblitherated him. Good times were had by all, we all got to be gods.
Story #2
Part one, aka BORING LEADUP
This one is also set in PBP, a savage tide game. We were level one, and the only offensive spells I had prepared were a magic missile and a ray of frost, which I promptly used up. The way I expected it to go, was we see Vark at the docks, and I use one of my two charm person spells to get him to give Lady Vanderboren back her ship, her cash, and her signet ring. Magic missile was only prepared because I had to have one evocation spell being a cold specialist evoker prestiging into elemental savant. Things didn't go as planned, and we had to get a boat and sneak up to the ship. When we got up onto it, only our druid, our paladin, and I were there. The rouge and barbarian were over failing their climb checks and falling in the water. So we fight a few thugs and I'm pretty much the only one doing damage, using both my ray of frost and magic missile on the first two thugs, and beating the hell out of stuff with a quarterstaff. Eventually though, the druid goes way over to the other end to kill someone sniping us, and Vark and more thugs show up. Then the paladin decides to explore the lower deck arbitrarily, and the other two are still failing climb/swim checks. I manage to take a full round action to gtfo and run after him while still dodging Vark and the thug next to me screaming that you can't leave an ally behind if you don't want to be an ex-paladin. Druid over there gets critted by a rapier and runs down the other exit to the lower deck, because he took a porpoise animal companion which he can't use. And of course, in there is a huge bug monster on the lower deck. After we defeat the thing though, Vark and his thugs are standing at the exits with crossbows, readied action, and elevation bonuses. And thus...
SNEAKY PLAN STARTS HERE!
My Wizard decides to make use of his remaining cantrips, which the only useful ones are Daze and Open/Close doors, which is still fairly useless. So he tells the Paladin to wait near the stairs while I cast close on the hatch, and ready a charge up the stairs and smite vark, while I cast daze on the other one. Meanwhile, the druid will cast summon monster one to summon an eagle, and have it fly up the other guarded stairs which will have two distracted men that he and the eagle will attack. The plan was executed with great perfection, the only hitches being that my daze failed to work. Also, by a stroke of luck, the halfling rogue was lifting up the dwarf barbarian as he finally succeeded his climb check at the same time. Again, good times were had by all as we killed everyone but Vark, who the paladin intimidated into surrendering and we turned him over to the guards.
Story #3
In an aquatic campaign, me and some of our allies (around level 6) who include a catfolk binder, a human swashbuckler, an orc barbarian, a sahuagin fighter, a cleric whose race I forgot (some weird aquatic one), a sahuagin rogue who we caught trying to steal junk on our own ship which me and the orc promptly threw onto the other ship into the middle of the battle, and me, a Human Bronze Dragon Shaman. While my allies boarded the pirate ship and owned the three main enemies who were a Dwarf, and two hadozee. One hadozee, a monk, broke away from the rogue and went to the hold to try to blow up the ship. Problem was, he's got fast movement and we're all too far away. The swashbuckler and the sahuagin were taking down the other hadozee, which was a bit far from the monk, and with fast movement probably couldn't catch up. The orc and I just finished the dwarf, which was still far from the hold, the catfolk was just standing back and using her bow, and the cleric was just calling lightning at everything from our own ship. As a dragon shaman, my alignment is constantly in jeopardy, so I can't just run off the ship as I don't think any of us are really fast enough. Fastest one is the barbarian, but he's as far away from the hold as I am. So as everyone runs in, I ready an action to charge at the right moment, and make a strength check to try to kick the swashbuckler down the stairs. Surprisingly though, it actually worked out, as he made a tumble check to avoid damage, and tackled down the Hadozee. Good times had by most.
Final story, #4
This was set in yet another PBP (yeah I play a lot) in a game where we had to fight a bunch of monsters in an arena. My opponent was a gulgar, and I was a halfling rogue/nightsong enforcer. This of course meant that it's hard to hide with tremorsense and all (yeah that was kind of mean to make him my opponent). So while it charged towards me, I quickly ran behind the pillar, while something caused it to trip (I'm not sure what, the DM just said he did). So I looked at the pillar and saw some axe marks for footholds. And I know that gulgars have terrible spot, but probably can't tell the difference between a halfling on the ground behind that pillar and a heavy inanimate object behind that pillar. so I reached into my HHH and pulled out an hourglass, weighed it down and made a dexterity check to try to put it in my place and quickly cling to the wall with climb and use my ring of chamelon power to help me hide. It succeeded, and as the gulgar rounded the corner, he was so confused that it denied his dex bonus to his ac, and I got to make a killer sneak attack against him, and run for my allies who were about finished with their opponents.
And that's all I have to say about that. Now what's your stories?