Wanted: Creepy Pseudo-Psychological Questions

[The Grue]

Hello, Playgrounders.

Next session of the RL game I'm running is going to open with the characters, individually, being psychologically evaluated by a character who's...not quite right. I'd like to have some questions to throw at them that sound like the sort of Freudian prompts you'd expect of a Hollywood psychotherapist, but gradually become more sinister, unsettling and disturbing.

I've got a few examples below, but I was hoping I could draw on the wonderfully twisted imaginations of you fine folks for some more. :smallbiggrin:


Which of your parents would you rather see drown?
Do you believe that you are alive right now?
Are you aware that all meat rots?
If your arm were trapped beneath a heavy object and you were unable to free it, how long would you wait before gnawing it off? Would you use your teeth or fingernails to break the skin?

[comicshorse]

Might want to check out the questions used to detect Replicants in 'Bladerunner' as they are meant to be designed to provoke an emotional reaction

[The Grue]

Is there an actual long-form of the Voight-Kampf test somewhere? That would be great to work from.

[comicshorse]

I'm pretty sure the book its based on, 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep' has a few that aren't used in the movie

[Thrudd]

"Who ARE you?"
-character gives their name-
"NO!" -administers electric shock- "Who ARE You?"
-character gives their race or profession or some other descriptor-
"NO!" -more electric shock-
Ad-nauseum

[ArcanaFire]

I'll give this a shot.


Your sibling and your lover have switched bodies and the only way to turn them back is to lie with one of them, which do you choose?
If you had to, which of your fellow travelers would you eat first to survive?
Did you know that the urine of a healthy human tastes like almost nothing and is virtually odorless?
Would you like some tea?

[WhiteShark]

I'm pretty sure the book its based on, 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep' has a few that aren't used in the movie

Unfortunately the Voight-Kampf as presented in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? is really more about human empathy toward animals. In the book, Deckard describes various situations to the testee and asks for their reaction to each one. The focal point of the situations is almost always about animal pain or death due to the heightened value placed on animals by humanity in the setting. For example, one situation described is some friends visiting a rural cabin that has some sort of animal head mounted on the wall. A human is expected to react to that negatively, whereas an android might overlook it entirely.

The only time a truly unsettling situation is described in the book (from what I can remember) is when Deckard tells a testee that his briefcase is made of human baby leather, knowing that an android would be slow to fake a shocked reaction to such at thing.

[mikeejimbo]

I always found this thing (http://www.hypnoid.com/psytest2.html) kind of creepy. It's fictional, of course, but that actually helps your purposes.

[Kelb_Panthera]

I find the best way to accomplish this sort of thing is less in specific questions than how you ask them and when. Though, of course, questions that are suggestive of immoral or amoral behavior, in either the person asking or the person asked, can be fun.

[Tiri]

Did you know that the urine of a healthy human tastes like almost nothing and is virtually odorless?


That's not true.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

For subtlety, go for questions that are just off or let some sort of weird interests of the interviewer shine through. I think your "Are you aware that all meat rots?" is brilliant. It's not outright insane, but it's not something you should ever have to hear during a psych evaluation. A lot of questions about a characters mother, or sister, or any preferably female relative or (close) friend in particular also really builds up the creepy (yes, I know, my scary sense is sexist). Let's see if I can come up with a few:

What's your earliest memory of your sister?
Would you say you're more of a tree or a bush?
How do you feel about cats?
Are you close to your sister?
Do you long for the feeling of dying sometimes?
Are you a dog person or an alligator person?
Tell me, what do you think the most interesting thing about the human brain is?
Have you ever shared any secrets with your sister your parents weren't allowed to know?
Does this interview make you feel uncomfortable?
So, what's the naughtiest thing you've ever done with your sister?

(The tea question in combination with the one before it is also brilliant by the way, use it.)

[Spartakus]

Keep in mind that creepy questions provoke creepy answers. A few examples:




Your sibling and your lover have switched bodies and the only way to turn them back is to lie with one of them, which do you choose?

Thats easy, my sister is hot. Although waking up could be a bit awkward.


If you had to, which of your fellow travelers would you eat first to survive?

Lidda of course, halflings are delicious!


Did you know that the urine of a healthy human tastes like almost nothing and is virtually odorless?

That's why I prefer halflings.


Would you like some tea?

Yes!

[The Grue]

That's not true.

Personally I think it's even better if it's untrue. :smallbiggrin:

Anyway these are all excellent, thanks!

[dps]

Just keep asking "Is it safe?" over and over again.

[BootStrapTommy]

"When was it that you first realized you had a sexual attraction to your mother?"

#Freud

[LordotTrinkets]

"Who ARE you?"
-character gives their name-
"NO!" -administers electric shock- "Who ARE You?"
-character gives their race or profession or some other descriptor-
"NO!" -more electric shock-
Ad-nauseum

Heh, I saw that episode just last week.

Another idea may be to set up a situation where the subject thinks they're crazy and see how they respond.

(This would be an ideal place to say the "Are you aware that all meat rots?" question)
*Picks up piece of rotting meat and places it on table*
"Now, what do you see on the table?"
-Character responds with real answer- "That is indeed strange, since there is only a banana here."
*Proceeds to eat rotting meat without flinching*

[Cicciograna]

"Who ARE you?"
-character gives their name-
"NO!" -administers electric shock- "Who ARE You?"
-character gives their race or profession or some other descriptor-
"NO!" -more electric shock-
Ad-nauseum

I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!!!

Sorry, I had to.

[daemonaetea]

Firstly I just wanted to say that I absolutely love this idea and will be using it myself.

So, some questions. Some of these might veer more into absurdism, but here they are.

Please describe, in as much detail as you can, the first time you considered the fact that your most treasured acquaintance will one die die?

Have you eaten more or less than ten teeth?

Spiders. Spiders in your hair. Spiders crawling up your shins, legs moving in synchronicity to reach your face. With that in mind, how many glasses of water do you drink a day?

What was the name of your first pet, and how many times did you scream it's name in anger?

What's the angriest you've ever been? What's the angriest you'll ever be? What will render your anger pointless?

Can you please count to ten for me, taking care to skip the numbers that are currently evil?

Please open your mouth. When you feel it's appropriate, close it. (When closed) That wasn't the moment. Try again. (When closed) Hm.

The following is a list of random words. Please choose the word that most accurately represents your emotions at this moment. Blood. Blood. Blood. Bloooood. BLOOD.

[GorinichSerpant]

most accurately represents your emotions at this moment. Blood. Blood. Blood. Bloooood. BLOOD.

The only logical response I can think of for this is "Blood?"

As for more questions:

Another possibility for questions, is to ask weird questions about their childhood.

[NowhereMan583]

"Please count the number of times you blink over the next minute, and be careful not to move your tongue incorrectly."
"Tell me about the day you stopped being human."
"Listen carefully to this recording, and tell me what it makes you feel." [the "recording" is silent, but the therapist seems to be reacting to unheard noise.]
"Are you comfortable with the fact that you have so few teeth? Would you be happier if you had more?"
"Tell me about your last conversation with [dead loved one]." [character talks] "That's not how s/he said it went. Why did you feel the need to lie?"
"Listen carefully to this recording, and tell me what it makes you feel." [the recording is an eardrum-shattering 150-decibel screech, but the therapist seems unperturbed.]
"Are you aware that, in this entire conversation, I have not observed you to hylgolakacate? Not even once? Why do you think that is?" [character asks obvious what-does-that-word-mean question] "Oh, dear -- it's worse than I thought."
"Were you aware that there is no true reality? Or, rather, there isn't one anymore -- have you considered that your problems may be merely a reaction to this recent metaphysical transition?"


Throughout the conversation, the therapist will occasionally look just over the characer's left shoulder and start asking questions of the empty air. He will react as though he is getting satisfactory answers, and shush the character if s/he interrupts. If pressed, he will explain that the character's "second head" needs a fair share of his attention. Over the course of the session, it becomes plain that the second head is giving much better answers, and the therapist begins criticizing the character for not following the head's example.

[Shoot Da Moon]

"Can you stop the pain?"

"Will there come a time in your life where the good thoughts end, and the bad feelings begin?"

"Do you know NOTHING?"

"Do you KNOW nothing?"

"Do YOU know nothing?"

"Why did you think that you think?"

"Where should I draw the last line?"

[Thisguy_]

Fridge horror is always creepier than outright oddness. Don't hit them with a sack of crazy immediately, just ask them things that could make them think the individual MIGHT be extreme or unhinged. Put the thought in their heads, but make it their idea, don't just tell them he is.

Something like this:

Opener: "Please define mortality."

*String of normal questions*

"When is the last time you had a glass of water?"

*string of normal questions*

"When is the last time you had a glass of water?"

"You already asked that."

"Answer the question."

Go on like this.

Works better with recurring characters; make sure next time they see him he checks on their hydration. Perhaps throw something else in there; maybe this character is incredibly and irrationally afraid of spiders. Maybe he whacks someone's shoulder, goes wide eyed, and repeats the word "spider" a couple times whilst backing away, before leaving the room.

Perhaps instead he was a recurring tic, a need to maybe wash his hands once every few minutes even though he hasn't done anything outright messy. Or he does something in response to an event that isn't quite matched with the event itself once in a while - I see this as a kind of person with a strong likelihood of clinical tics, hand washing, cleaning implements, probing people about their health. Spiders.

[Segev]

After a character deals damage in combat: "Who do you most wish that was, other than the person you just struck?"

[Segev]

Oh, and of course:

"Who are you?"
"What do you want?"
"Why do you keep touching me?"


Asked, possibly, by a vorlon, a shadow, and a footman, respectively.

[Cristo Meyers]

The only logical response I can think of for this is "Blood?"


Well, that or 'Don't mind if I do!' and latching onto the guy's throat with your teeth.

--

One I came up with: 'Excepting humans, how many lives have you ended this week? Do you believe this was too many, not enough, or just about right for someone of your status?'

[Telonius]

The doctor retrieves a puppet, and places it on his hand. It looks generally like a child.

"Now, I'd like you to imagine the last person you killed. Describe them to me... uh huh. How old were they, would you say? ... All right. Now, imagine this puppet is that person, as a child. I will play their part. Now, explain to that person why it is you had to kill them."

"... you had to kill me? Why did you do that? ... it hurt, didn't it. Did I cry? Did you even feel bad?"

Go through like that for a while. Then (for bonus points) cast Ventriloquism and/or Animate Object. :smallamused:

[The Grue]

Ran the session today, using many of the prompts and questions suggested here. Was a huge success. :smallbiggrin:

[goto124]

Don't stop there! Let us know how exactly the PC(s) and player(s) reacted!

[Frozen_Feet]

Having taken a number of real psychological tests, a lot of these don't look all that weird to me. For context, here are some actual questions:

Does the top of your head ache regularly?
How much of a gun-nut do you consider yourself?
Would you enjoy sticking your bare feet in cold mud?
Do you always stick to the truth?
Does sailing around the world sound like an exciting adventure?
Would you wish to start a flowershop?
Do you always stick to the truth?
Do you like the scent of flowers?
Would you ever wish to move to a mountaintop, away from other people?
Have you ever thought of suicide?
Is someone, somewhere, out to get you?
Do you always stick to the truth?

[Segev]

Having taken a number of real psychological tests, a lot of these don't look all that weird to me. For context, here are some actual questions:

Does the top of your head ache regularly?
How much of a gun-nut do you consider yourself?
Would you enjoy sticking your bare feet in cold mud?
Do you always stick to the truth?
Does sailing around the world sound like an exciting adventure?
Would you wish to start a flowershop?
Do you always stick to the truth?
Do you like the scent of flowers?
Would you ever wish to move to a mountaintop, away from other people?
Have you ever thought of suicide?
Is someone, somewhere, out to get you?
Do you always stick to the truth?

Some of those are rather odd. The first one doesn't seem psychological at all. (I get headaches regularly, though they're generally in the forehead region and I know the causes are split between eye strain, caffiene withdrawl, and pressure fronts, and I have cures for all three and can often even recognize which is which.)

The repeption of what is the last question is interesting.

The penultimate question is an interesting one, as well, because it's phrased such that answering it "yes" sounds paranoid. If, however, you genuinely have a specific person who is out to get you for personal reasons, it's neither paranoid nor vague. Thor, for instance, would not be paranoid to answer "yes." Particularly if he went on to say, "It's my brother, Loki. Even when he's not outright trying to kill or exile me, he is probably planning a prank."

[Nifft]

I always found this thing (http://www.hypnoid.com/psytest2.html) kind of creepy. It's fictional, of course, but that actually helps your purposes.

These are fantastic.

http://i.imgur.com/fecPXBs.jpg

[Segev]

These are fantastic.

http://i.imgur.com/fecPXBs.jpg

That particular one struck me as bad, actually. They're identical, so it's a "pick A or B at random" question.

A lot of them I can see some valid argument, but in most I didn't have a real response.

They're potentially interesting, but I think you'd need a pseudorandom generator tied to a learning algorithm of some sort to make use of the answers. It would be more interesting to see how that learning algorithm generated images which eventually did convey those messages.

[Nifft]

That particular one struck me as bad, actually. They're identical, so it's a "pick A or B at random" question. Also, though... and this is very important...

They're boobies.

I mean, I was giggling at most of the questions, but that one made me have to stop reading for several seconds to get my laughter under control.

[Frozen_Feet]

In psych test batteries, repeating questions test for self-consistency and memory. Some of them exist to weed out people who are trying to act different of who they are. Sometimes, different ways of answering are given for repeating questions: you might be presented a binary choice (yes/no, true/false, agree/disagree) on some occasions and multiple choices on others (answer on scale from 1 to 5 where 1 means totally agree/disagree and 5 is the reverse etc.). This is to see how on the fence a person is or will their answer change if given non-absolute options.

[Segev]

Also, though... and this is very important...

They're boobies.

I mean, I was giggling at most of the questions, but that one made me have to stop reading for several seconds to get my laughter under control.I confess that I did not see that. At all. Until you mentioned it. Fortunately, I can easily un-see it (contrary to the usual case when somebody points out something like that). Are they all visual puns that I just totally missed? Does the question have anything to do with said puns, or are the questions random?


In psych test batteries, repeating questions test for self-consistency and memory. Some of them exist to weed out people who are trying to act different of who they are. Sometimes, different ways of answering are given for repeating questions: you might be presented a binary choice (yes/no, true/false, agree/disagree) on some occasions and multiple choices on others (answer on scale from 1 to 5 where 1 means totally agree/disagree and 5 is the reverse etc.). This is to see how on the fence a person is or will their answer change if given non-absolute options.I always loathe questions with limited-choice answers when the question can be answered by more than what's offered.

Of course, I have limited to anti-patience with the whole psychiatric field, so...

[Lvl 2 Expert]

In psych test batteries, repeating questions test for self-consistency and memory. Some of them exist to weed out people who are trying to act different of who they are.

This is very much true. I saw a psych test used for the recruitment of army officers ones. There were a handful of important qualities they were looking for, and they rephrased those questions in every possible way. The point was that someone looking to give the right answers would always go with what seemed the most positive option, and those options would contradict the "best" answers to several other questions. I can imagine the test makers handle say people trying to get out of an institution in much the same way.

[Shamash]

What was the name of your first pet, and how many times did you scream it's name in anger?


That is perfect.

[Blackhawk748]

The following is a list of random words. Please choose the word that most accurately represents your emotions at this moment. Blood. Blood. Blood. Bloooood. BLOOD.

Amateur (https://youtu.be/wpKN-U1-bWk?t=1m19s) :smallwink:

[goto124]

The point was that someone looking to give the right answers would always go with what seemed the most positive option, and those options would contradict the "best" answers to several other questions.

Examples please? I suppose it works because they have to answer the questions 'as they come', instead of getting to pour over a piece of paper.

[Amechra]

On a scale of one to five, how similar are you to a pig?
Do you enjoy the taste of bacon?
If you had to guess, how much of that enjoyment stems from fantasies of cannibalism?

...

I see. I came on a little strong there.
My apologies.
Shall we continue?

...

How many names do you respond to?
How many are yours?
How many of those did you steal?
Would you like mine?
What would you do to get it?

...

I did not expect you to be so over-emotional about this, Dave.
I see I will have to slow down slightly.
Do you have any fantasies about marriage?
Do you think that marriages are best pre-arranged, or when left to the freedom of those getting married?
When are you going to get married?

...

Would you marry a pig, Dave?
Are you aware of how hypocritical your answer is, Dave?
Now, please, engage with the process.

...

Do you like the name I've given you, Dave?

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Examples please? I suppose it works because they have to answer the questions 'as they come', instead of getting to pour over a piece of paper.

I don't remember any exact questions, but think in this direction (all answers on a fully agree - fully disagree scale, I think without a safe middle option):

When I see a problem, I act right away.
I carefully consider my options when performing a difficult task.
I like to act first, think later.
I often spend a long time thinking about a problem.

Someone looking to please will often agree with the first two and disagree with the second two, because those sound like the answers a good officer would give. While someone who really is quick to act, or careful in his/her judgment, will end up giving at least sort of a similar answer to one and three, and fall on the other side on both two and four. There isn't even a general right answer (although there will probably be a preference on what they're looking for depending on the function you're after), at least half the point of the test seems to be to see if you're all honest and stable and aware of your own strengths and weaknesses.

Also: I agree on the "more details" thing. Tell us more about the session Grue! I might want to steal this idea one day.

[JFahy]

Not fully on topic, but I went digging a few months ago for sample polygraph
questions to use in a Spycraft campaign. Didn't find a whole lot, but here's
some notes on interview procedure and a few sample questions.
http://www.fas.org/sgp/othergov/polygraph/ota/varieties.html

[Narmoth]

Studying psychology myself, I can come up with a few sets:


- How will you describe yourself?
- How do you demonstrate that this description is really you?
- What is the true You?
- What is the You you try to hide?
- How can I believe the You you present when it is different from the one you try to hide?
- Are you ashamed of the You you try to hide?
- How can you live with such a deception?



- Who of your group would you be most likely to kill?
- Why?
- How does that make you feel?
- What does it tell me about you, murderer?


- What is your greatest failure?
- Can you describe for me the feeling of failure?
- Is this how you normally feel when you fail?
- When you fail so often, have you considered trying to change?
- How does if feel to be a failure?

[Boci]

Unfortunately the Voight-Kampf as presented in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? is really more about human empathy toward animals. In the book, Deckard describes various situations to the testee and asks for their reaction to each one. The focal point of the situations is almost always about animal pain or death due to the heightened value placed on animals by humanity in the setting. For example, one situation described is some friends visiting a rural cabin that has some sort of animal head mounted on the wall. A human is expected to react to that negatively, whereas an android might overlook it entirely.

So it was only in the film where the emotional reactions were replicas and the more stoic ones proved humanity?

[Temperjoke]

- How many breaths a minute do you take?
- If you had to lose a body part, which would you sacrifice first?
- Who do you think is prettier, your wife/girlfriend or your mother? Also, at this time, I'd like to remind you that we will be reviewing your answers with your wife and mother.
- In the last 5 seconds, how many times have I blinked?
- If you were a goat, how nice of a jacket would you make?
- If you were a sheep, how big of a sweater could we make from your wool?

[Raimun]

I've always liked the following:

"You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs, trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?"

Yeah, from the start of Blade Runner.

Edit: Oh, and an actual question that I personally encountered when I once took a written psychological test:

"Have you ever wanted to be a florist?"

[WhiteShark]

So it was only in the film where the emotional reactions were replicas and the more stoic ones proved humanity?

I haven't watched the movie in ages, but if that's how it goes in the movie, then yes. From what I can remember about the movie, it's pretty dissimilar from the book (but not in a bad way!)

[Telonius]

- If you were a goat, how nice of a jacket would you make?


Terrible. Goats can't sew.

[Temperjoke]

Terrible. Goats can't sew.

I see. *scribbles on a notepad with a pen that appears to be empty*

Do you think that goats should learn to sew?

[Boci]

I see. *scribbles on a notepad with a pen that appears to be empty*

Do you think that goats should learn to sew?

Only if they want to pursue a career in jacket making.

[Temperjoke]

Only if they want to pursue a career in jacket making.

*scribbles some more*

How do you feel about goats pursuing a career in jacket making?

[Strigon]

*scribbles some more*

How do you feel about goats pursuing a career in jacket making?

I think that, as long as it doesn't interfere with their goat cheese production, they should follow their dreams.

[Temperjoke]

I think that, as long as it doesn't interfere with their goat cheese production, they should follow their dreams.

I see

*more scribbling noises*

So you believe that goats have dreams?

((on a side note, I can keep doing this all day))

[hewhosaysfish]

I see

*more scribbling noises*

So you believe that goats have dreams?

((on a side note, I can keep doing this all day))

I am reliably informed that electric goats dream of androids. I'm unsure about coal-fired goats.

[Temperjoke]

I am reliably informed that electric goats dream of androids. I'm unsure about coal-fired goats.

Fascinating.

*more scribbling noises*

So, you're more interested in electric goats than coal-fired goats? Do you blame your mother or father for that?

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Fascinating.

*more scribbling noises*

So, you're more interested in electric goats than coal-fired goats? Do you blame your mother or father for that?

No. And yes.

[Temperjoke]

No. And yes.

*scribbles some more notes*

Do you have these thoughts regarding your mother and father often?

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Nah... I mostly just think about sex and booze and rape and murder and high treason you know?

[Segev]

Nah... I mostly just think about sex and booze and rape and murder and high treason you know?Why high treason, specifically? Are you more opposed to treason when sober?

[Demon 997]

I plan my treason drunk, but commit while sober. Helps with the whole creative process, don't you know?

[Segev]

I plan my treason drunk, but commit while sober. Helps with the whole creative process, don't you know?

So when you characterized your treason as "high," that was a lie?

[Lvl 2 Expert]

No man, I'm totally high on treason. It's better than sex you know, that feeling of someones souls completely deflating as you stab them in the back.

[Raimun]

*Scribbling*

I see. Now, I would like to ask you if you know any good psychiatrists or psychologists? Which ever really. I can never remember what was the difference. Anyway, this whole conversation has been depressing to me and I'm not talking about the whole murder-treason-booze-thing. Goats are kinda weird, aren't they?