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View Full Version : Poking fun at Dwarves' intuit depth



squishycube
2007-05-17, 05:16 AM
So dwarves have intuit depth (under stonecunning). How would this work and even better, how do you make fun of that:
I'll start:
- They sense air pressure (?)
"I am Pre Dict Thunderbolt, I am a dwarven weather predicter!"

Have you got better ones?

Pauwel
2007-05-17, 06:05 AM
Basically the same thing as the midget guy in The Adventures of Baron Munchausen.

daggaz
2007-05-17, 07:01 AM
Dude... they sense "micro-changes in air density."

Hazkali
2007-05-17, 07:41 AM
Nah...you've got it all wrong. They actually detect minute changes in the local acceleration due to gravity due to the difference in mass of stone above and below them. They are the only race in the world to do advanced integral mechanics naturally.

:smallbiggrin:

Yechezkiel
2007-05-17, 08:00 AM
I can only think of Dwarf sex jokes, and no one needs to hear them.

Swooper
2007-05-17, 08:22 AM
I always just figured they'd keep a subconcious mental count of how deep they were going. *shrug* Which doesn't explain how they can know how deep they are if they, for an example, get clobbered and wake up in a prison cell deep underground.

Theodoxus
2007-05-17, 08:43 AM
In a game last week, we players were a bit lost in the wilderness, and needed to head North - we posited that if we dug a hole just deep enough to put the dwarfs head into, he'd be able to intuit direction while 'underground'.

The DM just looked at us.

Dizlag
2007-05-17, 09:31 AM
They follow their nose, it always knows. :smallbiggrin:

Do you know why Dwarves have such large noses?

Just look at the size of their fingers!

Dizlag

SurlySeraph
2007-05-18, 12:00 AM
In a game last week, we players were a bit lost in the wilderness, and needed to head North - we posited that if we dug a hole just deep enough to put the dwarfs head into, he'd be able to intuit direction while 'underground'.

The DM just looked at us.

My DM would definitely allow that, just on the grounds of it being an interesting and fair interpretation of the rules. At very least the DM should have let the dwarf make a Survival check to determine direction and given him a circumstance bonus for being underground.

Miles Invictus
2007-05-18, 12:05 AM
Dude... they sense "micro-changes in air density."

Isn't that how they explained the motion trackers in the first Alien movie?

squishycube
2007-05-18, 02:19 AM
It would also mean that you can make a dwarf puke by blowing in his face (because he'd get the feeling of going up and down really fast)

Roderick_BR
2007-05-18, 07:13 AM
In a game last week, we players were a bit lost in the wilderness, and needed to head North - we posited that if we dug a hole just deep enough to put the dwarfs head into, he'd be able to intuit direction while 'underground'.

The DM just looked at us.
That felt like that old joke of an elf closing his eyes to use darkvision in 2nd edition :smallbiggrin:

SpiderBrigade
2007-05-18, 07:17 AM
Isn't that how they explained the motion trackers in the first Alien movie?...I think that was the joke, yeah :smalltongue:
It would also mean that you can make a dwarf puke by blowing in his face (because he'd get the feeling of going up and down really fast)Depends on your character's level of hygiene, really.

Maroon
2007-05-18, 07:23 AM
They make the ceiling collapse and measure the dents in their helmets.

Alternatively, they make the ceiling collapse and count the goblinoid casualties.

ravenkith
2007-05-18, 07:52 AM
Intuit depth:

As you may or may not know, from a study of geology, the earth is composed of different layers of material, and different types of stone. On the whole, the various layers occur at specific depth bands. Certain minerals can only be found at certain depths, having to do with their specific densities during the formation of the matle of the earth. While there are rogue deposits, the vast majority of them follow certain rules.

At higher levels of underground caves, you can feel air move through them. At lower levels, it's as if the air doesn't move at all. Surface air also tends to be fairly moist, while subsurface air tends to be relatively dry (barring proximity to underground deposits of water). Surface air will also tend to carry a lot of pollen, and other allergens, whereas the lack of movement of air at greater depths mean less allergens in the air (as the volume of such is a function of the mass of air in motion and the velocity at which it is traveling).

Air pressure also varies: if you've gone down in an elevator quickly, you notice a distinct change (having to 'pop' your ears?) just going from the 40th floor to the lobby.

In addition, ambient temperature underground tends to follow a set pattern depending on how far away from the surface you are, and how close to the core you may be.

The dwarven 'intuit depth' comes as a result of living most of their relatively long lives underground, and being able to instinctually combine their guesses of the above factors into a ballpark guess on actual depth.

This made a little more sense when darkvision was actually infravision, allowing the dwarfs to pphysically see the amount of heat in any given patch of stone, but still works ok if you view it as a combination of factors, from a scientific point of view.

Intuit direction:

As to intuit direction, dwarves may simply have a heightened sense of the magnetic field of the earth that only kicks in at subsurface air pressures.

mikeejimbo
2007-05-18, 09:04 AM
"We're exactly 423 feet and 7.5 inches underground."
"Great, know how to get back up?"
*shrug*

Shas aia Toriia
2007-05-18, 03:22 PM
They can tell by the amount of stone molecules, which they can see with their awesome vision. That same vision is responsible for darkvision.

The_Snark
2007-05-19, 02:41 PM
What happens if the dwarf gets put on the Elemental Plane of Earth? There isn't any surface there. My vote goes to hysteria.

de-trick
2007-05-19, 03:50 PM
they just use there sweet dwarf superpower of knowing how deep they are

thats the only super power they get though

my_evil_twin
2007-05-19, 05:19 PM
What happens if the dwarf gets put on the Elemental Plane of Earth? There isn't any surface there. My vote goes to hysteria.Mild disorientation, probably. It would be like one of us suddenly losing one of our less necessary senses, maybe smell. You might not even notice for a little while, but it would be unnerving when you figured it out.

Yuki Akuma
2007-05-19, 05:25 PM
Mild disorientation, probably. It would be like one of us suddenly losing one of our less necessary senses, maybe smell. You might not even notice for a little while, but it would be unnerving when you figured it out.

I think it would be more like losing your innate sense of "upness". Which is incredibly unnerving when it happens, trust me.

Edo
2007-05-19, 06:39 PM
What happens if the dwarf gets put on the Elemental Plane of Earth? There isn't any surface there. My vote goes to hysteria.They spit. Wherever the spit lands becomes relative "down." Then they start digging the other way.

jjpickar
2007-05-19, 08:25 PM
Intuit Depth, sounds like the dwarves got a leftover ability from the creation of the world.

Garl Glittergold: Well well, my gnomes are the best pranksters and illusionists around plus they can talk to weasels!

Corellan Larethian: That's nothing, my elves live the longest of the mortal races and will always be the best when it comes to archery!

Moradin: My dwarves can... uh, know their exact depth underground!



Later Corellan and Garl accidentally ran into each other. Some of Corellan's elves fell into Garl's gnomes and some of Garl's gnomes fell into Corellan's elves. This resulted in halflings!

Yuki Akuma
2007-05-19, 09:01 PM
Later Corellan and Garl accidentally ran into each other. Some of Corellan's elves fell into Garl's gnomes and some of Garl's gnomes fell into Corellan's elves. This resulted in halflings!

This isn't actually that far off from the real halfling origin myth. Except add in a pixie, a dwarf and a human. Oh, yes, and make it so that it was a mischevious goddess stealing slivers of life force from entire races and putting them into a pixie she'd just decided to kidnap.

Shhalahr Windrider
2007-05-19, 09:23 PM
"We're exactly 423 feet and 7.5 inches underground."
"Great, know how to get back up?"
*shrug*
Dimension Door straight up. It's in range.

Gwenfloor
2007-05-20, 11:37 AM
Intuit depth:

As you may or may not know, from a study of geology, the earth is composed of different layers of material, and different types of stone. On the whole, the various layers occur at specific depth bands. Certain minerals can only be found at certain depths, having to do with their specific densities during the formation of the matle of the earth. While there are rogue deposits, the vast majority of them follow certain rules.

At higher levels of underground caves, you can feel air move through them. At lower levels, it's as if the air doesn't move at all. Surface air also tends to be fairly moist, while subsurface air tends to be relatively dry (barring proximity to underground deposits of water). Surface air will also tend to carry a lot of pollen, and other allergens, whereas the lack of movement of air at greater depths mean less allergens in the air (as the volume of such is a function of the mass of air in motion and the velocity at which it is traveling).

Air pressure also varies: if you've gone down in an elevator quickly, you notice a distinct change (having to 'pop' your ears?) just going from the 40th floor to the lobby.

In addition, ambient temperature underground tends to follow a set pattern depending on how far away from the surface you are, and how close to the core you may be.

The dwarven 'intuit depth' comes as a result of living most of their relatively long lives underground, and being able to instinctually combine their guesses of the above factors into a ballpark guess on actual depth.

This made a little more sense when darkvision was actually infravision, allowing the dwarfs to pphysically see the amount of heat in any given patch of stone, but still works ok if you view it as a combination of factors, from a scientific point of view.

Intuit direction:

As to intuit direction, dwarves may simply have a heightened sense of the magnetic field of the earth that only kicks in at subsurface air pressures.

Ravenkith, you got science in my D&D! Take it out, before some crazy power-gamer tries to combine science and magic together!
Actually, judging by many material components in PHB spells, mages may as well be scientists claiming their science to be "magic."

Quote from SRD, for scrying spell:
Arcane Material Component: The eye of a hawk, an eagle, or a roc, plus nitric acid, copper, and zinc.
Wizard, Sorcerer, or Bard Focus: A mirror of finely wrought and highly polished silver costing not less than 1,000 gp. The mirror must be at least 2 feet by 4 feet.
Sounds like someone is making a primitive television set!

Tengu
2007-05-20, 12:18 PM
Ravenkith, you got science in my D&D! Take it out, before some crazy power-gamer tries to combine science and magic together!


No need to panic. The only thing it will do is kill a catgirl.

Yuki Akuma
2007-05-20, 01:14 PM
No need to panic. The only thing it will do is kill a catgirl.

Haven't you ever played The Longest Journey?! Magic and Science shouldn't ever be combined! It could tear the universe apart!

Tengu
2007-05-20, 01:32 PM
Haven't you ever played The Longest Journey?! Magic and Science shouldn't ever be combined! It could tear the universe apart!

Sadly, no. One of the games I wish I played.

What's even sadder, Monkey Island is on the list too.

martyboy74
2007-05-20, 01:43 PM
Dimension Door straight up. It's in range.

What if there's one of those trees that's like 200' tall right above you? What then?

Yuki Akuma
2007-05-20, 02:04 PM
What if there's one of those trees that's like 200' tall right above you? What then?

You get shunted to the left or right. You know, like every time you accidentally teleport into solid wood.