How should I handle this?

[atemu1234]

So for this I need to give a brief intro about my group.

This player, let's call him 'Tim' (names changed to protect the innocent) was probably my most experienced player. Been playing RPGs since he was in a diaper. But here's the thing - he doesn't like how I DM - namely, teaching new players to play and helping them make well-optimized characters. He refuses to build a character that is more powerful than right around what you'd get by running a fighter with a couple levels of sorcerers - and I have repeatedly offered to help him. He refuses, and it's his prerogative. In turn he doesn't complain when his character is outshined by the characters I helped build. He's a great guy and a terrific roleplayer. But here's the issue:

Last couple sessions, I had a couple other people in our games, both experienced gamers. They built characters that were at the same power level as the group, and played them well. Decent roleplayers as well. At the end of the session, 'Tim' took me aside and told me he thought the new gamers were 'the worst gamer elitists he has ever met' and I had seen very little to nothing of the sort. It irritates me a bit that this guy, who has the gall to tell me I'm playing the game 'wrong' calls a couple new people in the group elitists.

How should I handle this?

[Uncle Pine]

If what you saw at the table doesn't match with Tim's impression of the new players, you could start by asking Tim what he means by "gamer elitist" and build from that.

[OldTrees1]

If what you saw at the table doesn't match with Tim's impression of the new players, you could start by asking Tim what he means by "gamer elitist" and build from that.

Seconded.

If I had to hazard a guess:
You said "He [Tim] refuses, and it's his prerogative. In turn he doesn't complain". Tim is apparently fine with how you treat him. However if the new players did not respect it being his prerogative ...

[Flickerdart]

Tell him that his complaining isn't helping convince you not to ask him to walk.

[OldTrees1]

Tell him that his complaining isn't helping convince you not to ask him to walk.

Strange reaction to someone for whom complaining is abnormal behavior. If someone is "complaining" for the first time in years, then shouldn't you at least understand before reacting?

[Geddy2112]

He has different expectations of the game than you do. It sounds like he heavily favors roleplay over mechanics and thinks optimization is wrong. It sounds like you like a balance of roleplay and mechanics and enjoy optimization. Maybe he even enjoys playing sub optimal characters. Neither is right or wrong, but at some point, if he dislikes the way your group plays, why is he sticking around? Clearly it does not bother him very much because he has been there for a long time, but somehow these new players did. You did not think they were gamer elitists, did any other players? What exactly made them "gamer elitists"? See if his complaints are founded in anything, and see if there is a solution for everyone.

I have had players similar to Tim in my group. They mostly left, but never usually on bad terms. It is just that their views are largely incompatible. However, some just became a DM and ran a separate game. Some people in my gaming web can be players together, but neither can be a player in a game the other DM's. If he continues to have an issue with the group, offer to have him be a DM, maybe on a separate night.

[Kelb_Panthera]

If what you saw at the table doesn't match with Tim's impression of the new players, you could start by asking Tim what he means by "gamer elitist" and build from that.

Thirded.

Without knowing what Tim means by "elitist" you can't really make a move.

That said, someone who actively refuses to build characters to the average level of the group, or even learn how, may be better off with a different group. Players with different expectations from the rest of the group often run into problems and players with opposed expectations almost never work out unless they're willing to compromise and adjust their expectations.

[nedz]

What is a gamer elitist ?

It sounds like a personality clash rather than a play-style difference, but without talking to Tim it's hard to be sure.

[Glue Styx]

Speaking as anything but a gamer elitist or an elite anything for that matter, I think that this player probably prefers roleplaying over mechanics.

If s/hehe's played as long as you say, s/he probably predates 3rd edition, which is really when mechanics became a thing. Her/His perception is, and I'm just assuming based on prior experiences, that mechanics are too complicated and/or not real D&D, and s/he doesn't think they are worth her/his time because of that. That's probably why s/he didn't accept your help and why s/he prefers "sub-par" characters.

I can relate to this sort of "knowing the mechanics is lame" train of thought. I'm glad you're so understanding of her/his enjoyment of roleplaying over mechanics, but I don't think s/he shares in your liberal thoughts on the argument.

The best solution, in my opinion, is to just let the matter with these new players tend to itself, and in the meantime introduce little bits about optimization to her/him. S/he doesn't have to become a munchkin, but if you can get s/he to appreciate mechanics and how optimization can add to roleplaying and the game as a whole, this sort of issue won't come up as much in the future, and s/he will have grown as a person.

[jiriku]

At the end of the session, 'Tim' took me aside and told me he thought the new gamers were 'the worst gamer elitists he has ever met' and I had seen very little to nothing of the sort. How should I handle this?

Why is there anything for you to "handle?" Tim is your longtime friend. He expressed his opinion to you about some people he'd just met. Tim respects you enough to share a personal opinion with you. End of story.

Tim and these people are going to have some kind of relationship -- they will be friends or acquaintances or enemies or whatnot. That is between them and Tim. It has jack all to do with you. You don't have to dislike them just because Tim does, Tim doesn't have to like them just because you do, and whether they get along well or poorly is their business, not yours.

As the DM, you should encourage, nay, require your players to be civil with one another at the table. But you don't have to (and indeed you can't) compel people to make friends with one another.