Generally Funny Stories

[Vhaidara]

It's been a while since we've had one of these, so I figured I'd throw a new one up. Some good, light hearted fun times that have happened while playing.

From my local PFS group: One of the frequent GMs seems to have a grudge against a fellow player's druid. Or rather, the druid's animal companion. Or, I should say, companions. He's killed 5 of them. This GM has also never actually managed to kill an actual player character. Just this one guy's animal companions, repeatedly.

[jiriku]

Heh!

I had a druid player a few years ago whose animal companion died so often that he got tired of spending 24 hours finding new ones each time; he asked me if he could just skip the middleman and research a summon dead tiger spell.

[erok0809]

More animal companion killing:

A player of mine in my last game decided to go with the uninspired name of Eagle for his animal companion (side note: his in character name was Kevin. Kevin was an elf. :-/). Anyway, Eagle died, and so he got a new eagle. This one was Beagle, and we retconned the first one's name to Aeagle. When Beagle died, he got Ceagle. We never had to get to Deagle, but it would have been funny if it had continued all the way to Zeagle, and beyond into the unknown. Numbers, maybe? I could never tell with that guy.

[Vhaidara]

If you ever revive that joke and get to Deagle, it has to be gold plated.

[Strigon]

We never had to get to Deagle, but it would have been funny if it had continued all the way to Zeagle, and beyond into the unknown. Numbers, maybe? I could never tell with that guy.

Obviously, next comes !eagle, then @eagle, then #eagle...

[torrasque666]

I dunno. There was the time that my DM had us all getting a free weapon or armor from the lord of this small town. I asked if there was full plate and he said yes, so I took it. I was a warlock playing Chaotic Not-Good and immediately turned around and sold it in the town for 750 GP. The DM doesn't let us do that anymore.

[BowStreetRunner]

I ran a game a while back where one of the characters was obsessed with being knighted. It was the character's lifelong goal. After the party wizard saved the life of the king I had the king bestow a knighthood on the wizard. The look on the face of the player whose character was trying to earn a knighthood was worth solid gold. Every time he had to refer to the wizard as "Sir" afterward it looked like he had just swallowed a frog! While he eventually did earn a knighthood of his own, it made for a quite a bit of amusement along the way.

[TheCrowing1432]

I was dming a group of new players (they were around level 3) and they had to go into a seedy looking tavern to get in contact with the thief's guild. They went into the basement, and it was a gambling den. One of the players out of character off handedly mentions a rooster fighting ring, but another player says "no, a midget fighting ring"


Lo and behold, I created one, and the PC Halfling, named soup, entered and fought unarmed against another halfling, a kobold and a gnome and came out with 100 gp.

[Rainshine]

More animal companion killing:

A player of mine in my last game decided to go with the uninspired name of Eagle for his animal companion (side note: his in character name was Kevin. Kevin was an elf. :-/). Anyway, Eagle died, and so he got a new eagle. This one was Beagle, and we retconned the first one's name to Aeagle. When Beagle died, he got Ceagle. We never had to get to Deagle, but it would have been funny if it had continued all the way to Zeagle, and beyond into the unknown. Numbers, maybe? I could never tell with that guy.

While I generally prefer making up names off the top of my head, some players I've played with have trouble remembering them. One of my characters had an Alchemist cohort, who took the Tumor Familiar. His familiar was a raccoon-shaped tumor. Named Rabbit.

[Kazyan]

In my most successful campaign, the Erudite took five levels in the Body Leech prestige class, and had a bunch of random schmucks hanging around from his Thrallherd level. He also had some other refreshable backups (such as Astral Seed) to make sure that if he died, he could come back without much trouble. This led to him not being terribly concerned about staying alive. Towards the end, I was killing him in nearly every encounter, and often twice in the same combat.

And then there was the time he went out into the middle of nowhere and stuck an artifact weapon crystal onto a Hammer of Thunderbolts, despite knowing full well that he'd probably die because artifacts. The result of the massive explosion was predictable. For some reason he did this personally, even though the mostly-evil party had a dedicated summoner and a legion of Thrallherd minions.

He also decided to make his cohort call in his entire army of level 1 schmucks via Miracle during the final battle against the Elder Evil, for some reason. Not included in this request: the level 27 Warblade NPC that the party spent, like, 3 sessions trying to get as an ally. These sorts of decisions were par for the course, though. About 16 levels earlier, he bought a Sending scroll so that the Elder Evil's sister could ask said Elder Evil to come pick her up. This had some consequences.

That campaign also involved an Artificer. That player invested a ludicrous amount of gold into their Flesh Golem and decked it out with so many grafts that, near the end of the campaign, I replaced its character token with this (http://avgn.wikia.com/wiki/Super_Mecha_Death_Christ_2000_B.C._Version_4.0_Bet a) to more accurately represent it.