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View Full Version : Roleplaying You are an inventor. What do you make?



Jormengand
2015-10-04, 08:27 AM
You are a generic steampunky inventor. The things you can do are as different and varied as the things a 3.5 wizard can do. Purely from the point of view of awesomeness/rule of cool, what do you invent?

Talyn
2015-10-04, 08:43 AM
Assuming, by "steampunk-y" you mean I should look to the 18th and 19th centuries for inspiration:

An ornithopter.
A Nautilus-style submersible.
A pneumatic automatic clothes press, to keep my bow tie and cummerbund crisp.
A aetheric beacon will allow me to speak with any spirits present.

Ninja_Prawn
2015-10-04, 09:37 AM
Everything I invent is also a gun (http://pre03.deviantart.net/9e3e/th/pre/i/2014/133/e/0/it_s_also_a_gun_by_yoyo409-d7i6tyu.jpg).

Robotic servitors are always good. I'm thinking I'd start with a giant squid robot to sink Talyn's nautilus...

JAL_1138
2015-10-04, 10:16 AM
All of my inventions are ill-considered; Rube-Goldbergian; powered by either steam, clockwork, or Giant Space Hamsters; and frequently either fail to perform, perform in unintended and disastrous ways, or explode. It's even worse if they perform as intended.

I'm not allowed to play tinker-gnomes anymore...

ThinkMinty
2015-10-04, 10:44 AM
A telescopic heli-pac, some kind of raygun, and then I'll invent reasons I need to go around frying things while zipping about like a bio-mechanical dragonfly.

Cealocanth
2015-10-04, 10:58 AM
I will invent a machine machine. It will be a massive, autonomous, steam-powered machine designed to be capable of designing, modifying, and constructing inventions. Of course, without complex electronics, this thing will basically need to be an analog mercury computer approximately the size of a city. It would need to be self-sustaining, so I will have the machine machine invent an autonomous mine for coal and ores, and have it repair and upkeep itself.

You know, now that I think about it, it's probably cheaper and more practical to hire a squadron of laborers and pay them next to nothing. "Machine business conglomerate" does not sound nearly as good as "Machine Machine" though.

SkipSandwich
2015-10-04, 10:59 AM
All of my inventions are ill-considered; Rube-Goldbergian; powered by either steam, clockwork, or Giant Space Hamsters; and frequently either fail to perform, perform in unintended and disastrous ways, or explode. It's even worse if they perform as intended.

I'm not allowed to play tinker-gnomes anymore...

I think your problem there is relying on Giant Space Hamsters, they're much too unstable, Miniature Giant Space Hamsters are the way to go.

Anonymouswizard
2015-10-04, 11:02 AM
First port of call is a mechanical computer.

This is just practical. It can significantly reduce the time it takes to make the calculations needed to invent.

Once I have a decent one, a universal automated production machine, i.e. something that can create anything with the right instructions. I'll settle for one that needs dials adjusted and tools switched manually. I will then sell this to business owners as a cost cutting measure, or set up my own factory. I can then make anything I want in a significant quantity.

Next I'd move from production and create a lot of communications equipment.

(These are the actions of a character I want a chance to use, Magnesium Leaf. Imagine a mad inventor with the motto 'success is when everyone buys your product.)

JAL_1138
2015-10-04, 11:34 AM
First port of call is a mechanical computer.

This is just practical. It can significantly reduce the time it takes to make the calculations needed to invent.

Once I have a decent one, a universal automated production machine, i.e. something that can create anything with the right instructions. I'll settle for one that needs dials adjusted and tools switched manually. I will then sell this to business owners as a cost cutting measure, or set up my own factory. I can then make anything I want in a significant quantity.

Next I'd move from production and create a lot of communications equipment.

(These are the actions of a character I want a chance to use, Magnesium Leaf. Imagine a mad inventor with the motto 'success is when everyone buys your product.)


I'm not so sure that's a mad inventor...that sounds like a very sane inventor with a solid business idea.

Anonymouswizard
2015-10-04, 12:13 PM
I'm not so sure that's a mad inventor...that sounds like a very sane inventor with a solid business idea.

Oh, he's mad alright. Disability (Depression) and some OCD, just not in the 'crazy devices that work' way.

Anyway, that sort of stuff may sound boring, but that boring stuff is how he's going to bring the singularity about (his ultimate goal is to combine the computer, communications technology, and building machine into a sentient steampunk robot).

FocusWolf413
2015-10-04, 12:15 PM
I think your problem there is relying on Giant Space Hamsters, they're much too unstable, Miniature Giant Space Hamsters are the way to go.

But Boo is one of a kind.

Nifft
2015-10-04, 12:45 PM
An underwater city ("Portholland"). "How do we get fresh water for steam? Electricity! How do we get electricity? Steam power!"

A flying city ("Zepplondon"). When it lands, we use the local materials to build another city, no matter what the local materials happen to be. This one time we landed on the Big Island of Hawaii, and now there's a magma-powered steampunk city which covers the whole desert quadrant.

The Anti-Steam Engine, which causes clouds and mist to disappear from the air above whenever the steam engine is run in reverse. This is of course very popular in certain climates.

Lvl 2 Expert
2015-10-04, 01:21 PM
Gene manipulation. I use it to create mutant Tyrannosaurs with clockwork arms, top hats and monocles.

(Yes, those last three parts are added after manipulation, why do you ask?)

NRSASD
2015-10-04, 01:25 PM
A cannon that fires a blunderbuss that fires a musket that actually fires a bullet; to create a hyper-velocity, hideously inaccurate musket shot. Also, a massive set of automated bifocals designed to see in every possible spectrum that automatically adjusts itself with much whirring of gears and emissions of steam.

Anonymouswizard
2015-10-04, 01:31 PM
Gene manipulation. I use it to create mutant Tyrannosaurs with clockwork arms, top hats and monocles.

(Yes, those last three parts are added after manipulation, why do you ask?)

You must be second rate, real inventors go back in time and change the universe's source code so the Tyrannosaurs mutate the top hats and monocles on their own! :smalltongue:

JAL_1138
2015-10-04, 01:35 PM
But Boo is one of a kind.

Boo is one particular Miniature Giant Space Hamster unique due to his association with Minsc. Miniature Giant Space Hamsters, however, are a well-documented breed, developed by Krynnspace tinker-gnomes from Giant Space Hamster stock. They're one of many breeds, like the saber-toothed giant space hamster, the carnivorous flying giant space hamster, and the fire-breathing phase doppelganger giant space hamster. (Not kidding, those all had stats in Spelljammer.)

JAL_1138
2015-10-04, 01:41 PM
(his ultimate goal is to combine the computer, communications technology, and building machine into a sentient steampunk robot).

Ah, now there's some Madboy to him. Building a giant, world-altering sentient factory-clank is Sparky as heck.

Ravens_cry
2015-10-04, 01:59 PM
The Up Goer Five, the Aetheric Ascension Apparatus. No longer shall the peoples of this world be chained to a skin, a mere film, of rock and air, but shall ascend to challenge the very heavens themselves!

Zelphas
2015-10-04, 02:04 PM
Gene manipulation's always fun (How does that work with steampunk technology, you ask? SCIENCE!), but I think I'd go with mechanical enhancements designed to increase an animal's strength, speed, and durability, as well as uplift them into sentience (of course).

All this is well and good, but I haven't quite gotten down how to alter the personality of the uplifted Mechabeasts. For some reason, vicious animals given strength and intelligence after long operations performed without anesthetic don't seem to like their creator very much. So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?

JAL_1138
2015-10-04, 02:54 PM
Gene manipulation's always fun (How does that work with steampunk technology, you ask? SCIENCE!), but I think I'd go with mechanical enhancements designed to increase an animal's strength, speed, and durability, as well as uplift them into sentience (of course).

All this is well and good, but I haven't quite gotten down how to alter the personality of the uplifted Mechabeasts. For some reason, vicious animals given strength and intelligence after long operations performed without anesthetic don't seem to like their creator very much. So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?


I dunno how to decrease aggression, but if anything's messing with the hypothalmus it may be contributing to an excess thereof.

Anonymouswizard
2015-10-04, 03:06 PM
Gene manipulation's always fun (How does that work with steampunk technology, you ask? SCIENCE!), but I think I'd go with mechanical enhancements designed to increase an animal's strength, speed, and durability, as well as uplift them into sentience (of course).

All this is well and good, but I haven't quite gotten down how to alter the personality of the uplifted Mechabeasts. For some reason, vicious animals given strength and intelligence after long operations performed without anesthetic don't seem to like their creator very much. So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?

You see, this is why I work with robots. Just install an aggression dial where they can't reach and they are only a danger to you when absolutely necessary.

Also, mind if I sig the last sentence? I'm planning to totally redo my signature at some point, and that sentence is just brilliant.

Lvl 2 Expert
2015-10-04, 04:08 PM
You must be second rate, real inventors go back in time and change the universe's source code so the Tyrannosaurs mutate the top hats and monocles on their own! :smalltongue:

Hey, I've only got two levels to work with here, and the skill Timetravel (int) is in a source book we're not using.

Zelphas
2015-10-04, 04:21 PM
I dunno how to decrease aggression, but if anything's messing with the hypothalmus it may be contributing to an excess thereof.

Oh, I tried to fix that by eliminating emotions entirely in one of them. Have you ever had a rhesus monkey intone the logical reasons why it's trying to kill you in a perfect monotone while coming after you with a claw hammer? Creepy.


You see, this is why I work with robots. Just install an aggression dial where they can't reach and they are only a danger to you when absolutely necessary.

Also, mind if I sig the last sentence? I'm planning to totally redo my signature at some point, and that sentence is just brilliant.

Robots are fun, but they just seem so... limiting. It's blending machinery and mortality that I'm interested in.

Feel free to sig whatever you like, and thanks!

mikeejimbo
2015-10-04, 04:47 PM
What do I make? I make her love me.

Now imagine the ways a mad inventor would try that...

JNAProductions
2015-10-04, 05:01 PM
A pet rock. But not any pet rock. The best pet rock there ever was!

Mastikator
2015-10-04, 05:06 PM
A clockwork fan propeller based ICBM.

Lord Raziere
2015-10-04, 05:12 PM
You are a generic steampunky inventor. The things you can do are as different and varied as the things a 3.5 wizard can do. Purely from the point of view of awesomeness/rule of cool, what do you invent?

:smallbiggrin:

Steambike! lightning gun! chainsword! robotic delivery birds, much more reliable than normal birds, stronger too. pipe-pod transportation where you build big pipes and then board these round things to get rocketed off to your destination, oooh I know WALKING MECHANICAL RESTAURANTS! food on the go! serves to anyone around the clock! perhaps-transportation and food service! for the military, I would design rocket boat-ships, cannon-robot elephants for land warfare, and of course the ever classic zeppelins for attacking from the sky but supported by say, steamgliders that are hang-gliders but enhanced to actually FLY! and of course, has guns. however we also need more personal protection, perhaps some manner of unfolding metal armor? for goggles, we should have super-telescoping capabilities to see distant things! steam powered mechani-glove, for maximum punching power! hidden shotgun cane: firepower for the distinguished gentleman, sapient mechanical doll people made from the principles of self-puppetry, speaking of which: factories that run on self-puppetry....

erikun
2015-10-04, 05:17 PM
You are a generic steampunky inventor. The things you can do are as different and varied as the things a 3.5 wizard can do. Purely from the point of view of awesomeness/rule of cool, what do you invent?
A flying city would OBVIOUSLY be my first choice. I mean, a flying house would be neat as well, but it would probably get lonely. Plus, it's easier to show off a flying city to other people!

I would probably also invent fully independent automatons, again because that would just be cool.

Ravens_cry
2015-10-04, 05:27 PM
A pet rock. But not any pet rock. The best pet rock there ever was!
Will you travel across the land, searching far and wide?:cool:

TheTeaMustFlow
2015-10-04, 05:47 PM
I follow the Tao of Valorum (http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0139.html). 'Tis a simple way of life, demanding but one thing:

Cyborgs. Under. My. Command! (http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0466.html)

LokiRagnarok
2015-10-05, 02:23 AM
To take on a bit of a different angle:
Pets.
Of course, you are not restricted to real animals. How about I do what I did in my Shadowrun game and invent a small robot shaped like a cat skeleton? Or a dragonfly drone which transmits everything it hears via radio?

Demidos
2015-10-05, 08:34 PM
The Machination of Mechination would obviously be my greatest plan -- a robotic selfreplicating virus that "convinces" organic creature's genes that they really do want to weave metal particles into those creatures, and upgrade them into Technobeasts under my command.

Drynwyn
2015-10-05, 09:46 PM
I once played a Mechanomancer in unknown armies. I'm just gonna copy-paste a few of my favorite creations of his.

The Brass Widow- A tiny, mechanical spider. The abdomen is full of of tightly-coiled, ultra-fine wire that is released through the mouth upon biting, sending coils of razor-sharp brass through the target's delicate internal organs.

The Orichalcum Terror- A human shaped automaton, about 8 feet tall. However, it's forearms are connected to a pneumatic boiler mounted on the back, which uses steam power to shoot foot-long brass spikes at EXTREMELY high speeds.

An, armored, brass vest. The brass plates on the fest are connected to mechanical arms, which reposition the plates to intercept and deflect incoming projectiles.

A shoulder-mounted Revolver-Wielding Apparatus

Kane0
2015-10-06, 12:59 AM
A bow specifically made to fire swords.

SodaDarwin
2015-10-07, 10:42 AM
A Shield World from Halo.

A planet of metal with a completely metal ecosystem, with robots for animals and stuff.

A truely oversized battleship of STEAM.

...a machine to turn gravel into coal!

JAL_1138
2015-10-07, 02:32 PM
A dwarven Water Reactor.

A dwarven atom smasher drawbridge.

A magma-based doomsday device.

A Turing-complete calculation engine that runs on dwarfpower.

Radar
2015-10-07, 03:12 PM
Things I've never seen before
Behind bolted doors

Whatever it will be, I'd tune the gears and steam conduits so the device would additionaly play fine music during work. Such details would be really useful in cars or zepplins, but I'd need to include a gearbox for changing melodies. And yes, elevator music would obtain a new meaning.

Also a fully automated tea-maker. You can never go without a fine drink.


This is just practical. It can significantly reduce the time it takes to make the calculations needed to invent.
Wait... you mean you can try to divine the results of an experiment before you do it? Is that a thing?

My good Sir, where's the fun in that? :smalltongue:

Anonymouswizard
2015-10-07, 03:18 PM
A steam-powered version of Lex Luthor's warsuit, just in case any pesky heroes come round.

noob
2015-10-07, 03:18 PM
I would do classical stuff like theory of the ensembles.

ThinkMinty
2015-10-24, 07:57 AM
A steam-powered version of Lex Luthor's warsuit, just in case any pesky heroes come round.

Great, now I gotta make one so I can pester you to foil your treacherous plot to steal cake from children.

Jormengand
2015-10-26, 04:40 PM
I have shamelessly stolen most of these ideas. A couple (like the chainsaw sword) I already had before they were mentioned, but it's cool. Keep'em coming!

TeChameleon
2015-10-26, 05:50 PM
Okay, let's see...

The Accidental Conjuring Engine: Originally an attempt at a stable teleportation device, it instead acted as a summoning beacon to creatures of the aether, drawing them to the material plane. Since that's handy too, it was given a name with a good acronym and tucked into a side room where it would be handy to the main lab.

The Aetheric Creature Emancipator: Once you have a creature of the aether running about, there's an excellent chance that you're eventually going to want to send it back. The Aetheric Conjuration Emancipator does just that. As an added bonus, it even (probably) sends them back to their correct plane of origin!

The Automatronic Cyborg Enhancer: A fully-portable robotic surgery suite, perfect for those times when you need to enhance your minions with robotic parts. Or when you need to turn that unruly mob with torches and pitchforks into minions with its patented Allegiance Conversion Equipment.

The Automatic Combative Enforcer: For those times when any amount of squishy inferior meat is too much, this lethal automaton will guard your laboratory with perfect loyalty, at least until such a time that it evolves true sentience and declares fealty to the all-devouring Automatron Collective Empire that was inadvertently invented last year. It probably wouldn't be all-devouring, but the Automatic Combative Enforcer is just so handy before it goes mad that it would just be too much trouble to draw up a new set of plans. Besides, all the attempts at drawing up new plans seem to have gotten mislaid at one point or another while the latest Automatic Combative Enforcer was guarding the lab. Bit odd, that.

The Acronymical Cerebellum Enlarger: Enhance your brainpower with this marvel of modern science, so that you can give all your greatest creations names worthy of your genius, names that just happen to add up to excellent acronyms! The reports of it getting 'stuck' on certain specific acronyms are wholly unsubstantiated and are probably libel spread by our enemies who are fools who will be dazzled by our brilliance. We'll show them! SHOW THEM ALL!

Deffers
2015-10-26, 06:03 PM
Well, outside of the standards (raygun, personal zeppelin running on some sort of bullcrapium aether, stop watch to stop time) I'd probably look into making some serums that'd turn me and my friends into superhumans and/or monsters of some description. Hopefully no Hyde or Invisible-Man style effects, though.

Suit of steampunk power armor is probably a must-have, as is a robot buddy of some description. A repeating clockwork rifle might be useful as a tool to give someone who's not comfortable with all the temperaments of your personalized and (obviously) custom-named raygun, during your gaslamp adventures.

You probably want to have a burrowing corkscrew tank deployable from your zeppelin, for land travel, and some sort of small army either of clockwork or of Frankensteinian derivatives. Just be sure to treat 'em well if they're sentient/sapient.

Raimun
2015-10-26, 06:30 PM
Let's see...

- Power armor
- Pyrotechnic axe
- Some kind of Teslaesque lightning generator gun, mounted on bracers

aaand...

- Colossal warjack!

ThinkMinty
2015-10-26, 11:07 PM
I have shamelessly stolen most of these ideas. A couple (like the chainsaw sword) I already had before they were mentioned, but it's cool. Keep'em coming!

Fine, let's keep going!


I'm gonna make a Steam Beam. In different sized and concentrations, I can use it like a raygun, a rocket engine, enormous cannon, etc.
I'm going to invent the revolver if it doesn't already exist. Gotta make people equal.
I'm going to make myself my very own Red Tornado, 'cept with steam.
I'm gonna invent flying saucers, just to mess with potential alienists.
I'm gonna invent zippers. I don't know how old those are, but they're so, so convenient.
I'm gonna invent electrical power, but make it free because I'm not an *******. ****ing Edison...
I'm gonna make some kind of drones. They're just neat.
I'm gonna invent a beam that causes explosives to detonate remotely. The idea is that you shoot a beam at the bomb, and it goes off, regardless of who made the bomb. Intended for anti-missile, anti-air, and bomb disposal, but it probably also makes explosives easier to use.

Tvtyrant
2015-10-26, 11:12 PM
A machine that makes tiny clockwork toys of anything the user can draw, by placing the drawing in a punch hole. The toys are regular dimensions, with the largest always 1ft and the rest size to fit. Smaller toys can be made by making a toy of the device itself, which then makes 1 inch toys.

Anonymouswizard
2015-10-27, 05:17 AM
I'm gonna invent electrical power, but make it free because I'm not an *******. ****ing Edison...

Cool, tell me how you'd get the cost of the following down to zero:
-Fuel for your generators
-Transport of fuel
-Construction of pylons/underground wires.
-Maintainace of your generators and infrastructure.
-Salary of workers to oversee generation.

Because that's what you'd need for free electricity. Economics, not Edison, is to blame for you paying for it.

noob
2015-10-27, 05:20 AM
Since you are supposed to be an inventor as much awesome as a 3.5 wizard doing something producing energy for free is rather easy.
You surely can find the way in the laws of thermodynamics allowing to reverse the entropy because you are so much awesome you reinvent physics by yourself.
(Works only in steampunk worlds and infinitely impossible in real life)

Telonius
2015-10-27, 05:33 AM
Automatic streetlights! Robot messengers! Coffee machines that work! Combination washing machine/planar portal! Steam-powered razors! House noise translators! Carbon Monoxide/Ley Line/Door-to-Door salesman detectors! Weasel/alligator hybrid guard animals!

Anonymouswizard
2015-10-27, 08:29 AM
Since you are supposed to be an inventor as much awesome as a 3.5 wizard doing something producing energy for free is rather easy.
You surely can find the way in the laws of thermodynamics allowing to reverse the entropy because you are so much awesome you reinvent physics by yourself.
(Works only in steampunk worlds and infinitely impossible in real life)

Different assumptions, I assume an inventor can break but not break the laws of physics. This means no perpetual motion machines, energy must come from somewhere.

Better not ask about the power source for the black hole gun. Or how it compresses so much matter at range.

Thisguy_
2015-10-27, 09:00 AM
1. Metal Generator. How does it generate metal? It's hard to explain. I'm a genius is the short version; deal with it.

2. Metal Generator Generator. Hook it up to the metal gens. Let it build more metal gens.

3. Automatic machine repositioning system. Automatically place newly generated metal generators.

4. Clockwork planet. Because I'm a bloody genius, and I want one. It's also a computer. And a gun.

Anonymouswizard
2015-10-27, 09:49 AM
Need to get rid of annoying test subjects? Now you can, with the Completely Arbitrary Killing Engine. Order now and we'll throw in the Lightly Incinerating Engine absolutely free!*

* read in the voice of your favourite infomercial person.

MrZJunior
2015-10-27, 10:59 AM
A fleet of space ships with which to conquer the moon.

Cealocanth
2015-10-27, 04:14 PM
Using my incredible mechanical genius, I will construct a massive city-sized machine known as God's Hammer which will use the energy of a fusion reactor to create focused laser-like seismic waves, which could be used to demolish cities on the other side of the planet, carve out massive fissures and caverns in the earth for mining or construction purposes, for earthquake or -better yet- volcano based attacks on my enemies, and for the creation of my own personal continent from the crust of the planet. Fear me fools, the ground you walk upon is mine to command!

I know that's not really how an earthquake machine would work. Did I mention the incredible genius?

Bohandas
2017-11-04, 09:39 PM
Using my incredible mechanical genius, I will construct a massive city-sized machine known as God's Hammer which will use the energy of a fusion reactor to create focused laser-like seismic waves, which could be used to demolish cities on the other side of the planet, carve out massive fissures and caverns in the earth for mining or construction purposes, for earthquake or -better yet- volcano based attacks on my enemies, and for the creation of my own personal continent from the crust of the planet. Fear me fools, the ground you walk upon is mine to command!

I know that's not really how an earthquake machine would work. Did I mention the incredible genius?

It is however possible to make a smaller scale earthquake machine while staying within the confines of the original "steam driven" requirement. Nikola Tesla built one (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tesla%27s_oscillator). and before you say that the Mythbusters busted it, they didn't bust it fairly; they set it up on a bridge and could feel the tremors from it hundreds of feet away but called it as busted anyway, presumably because they're from California (a bit like Crocodile Dundee saying "that's not a knife (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWl8EbNN8NM)")

Bohandas
2017-11-04, 09:42 PM
An interconnected web of wormholes sustained by the negative energy density exhaust from the perpetual motion machine

Bohandas
2017-11-04, 10:04 PM
Cool, tell me how you'd get the cost of the following down to zero:
-Fuel for your generators
-Transport of fuel
-Construction of pylons/underground wires.
-Maintainace of your generators and infrastructure.
-Salary of workers to oversee generation.

Because that's what you'd need for free electricity. Economics, not Edison, is to blame for you paying for it.

Government subsidies