I have no mind's eye.

[Talanic]

So. About two months ago I learned that I lack something that 98% of the population takes for granted. I have a condition called aphantasia (http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/23/science/aphantasia-minds-eye-blind.html); I can't form mental images. Sense memory of any sort is beyond me, in fact; I can't recall the feel of a specific texture, the smell of my favorite food, nothing of the sort. I understand what these things are - I can comprehend the information, but I can't re-experience it in the way that - apparently - other people can.

As far as visual imagery goes, I can - with some concentration - form a clear picture of a family member's face - a picture that lasts about a tenth of a second, then vanishes like a burst bubble. Anything less familiar than that, including anything imaginary, is entirely beyond me - and even that little bit can leave me exhausted if I try it too many times in a day (which I did after I first learned of the condition, playing around with my limits).

The fact that my experience as a human being is so limited threw me off. I was in the midst of editing a novel; I haven't touched it since. I suppose one part of me feels a bit like I'm less than human. I know - objectively - that my writing has been fairly well received (or people have been polite), but I can't picture anything I write about.

I'm going to try to get back in the game soon. Take that novel I threw together for NaNoWriMo and hammer it into a more entertaining shape. Would anyone be interested in following along with it? It's the work of a blind mind's eye.

In the meantime, I'm interested in touching base with others with the same condition. Did anyone else have an epiphany when reading this? Do you want to know more? This survey (https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1WjRf2zGOFLaJblFmwR7su1Wvl9K7IG-J4fYhGgFejvg/viewform?usp=send_form) is for people who want to test themselves; it's from the researchers at Exeter University, and the results are available to them as well. A score below 32 indicates aphantasia; mine was 23.

Lastly, if anyone has questions about the condition, go ahead. I'll be here.

[Domochevsky]

Hum, while this does seem like a long-winded sales pitch for your book, I am curious nontheless. :smallsmile:

So any imagination formed pretty much immediately disappears, hm? (With only the strongest memories being elegible?)
Not sure how that even works. Do you dream? Ever? Ponder the future and what may be?

I can't check that link, due to them apparently wanting me to log into something. >_>

[Talanic]

Yeah, one part of this would probably be best classified as a cry for attention. I learned something fundamentally weird about myself that the rest of the world hadn't noticed, and it's freaked me out. Now I'm seriously questioning whether or not I can ever excel at writing because I'm fundamentally flawed and it's probably not fixable.

Exeter university's still studying the whole thing because they're not sure how it works - or how it is that people with the condition can function in society without anyone noticing that they can't think like anyone else. It's more than images disappearing. My attempt to picture a sunset is "Okay, yellow ball, and it's gone." I understand that there should be a landscape, and colors other than yellow, and possibly silver clouds shining in the last few rays, but I can't picture any of it. Familiar faces - but only faces - can give me more detail but they still only last a tenth of a second.

I still dream, albeit rarely. So far as I or the researchers can tell, dreaming works normally, although my ability to recall even a fresh dream's images is as limited as any other image.

I suspect that I think of the future less than average, but I'm not certain that that's linked to the condition, and it hasn't been studied.

I don't know why you'd be unable to visit either link; the first is just the New York Times and the second's a Google Forms survey. I just tested, and neither should require a login.

[Madcrafter]

This is actually something that's been known for quite a while, just not to the general public (and arguably still isn't). It was first documented by Galton (you can read his 1880 paper on it here (http://psychclassics.yorku.ca/Galton/imagery.htm)) who found that this sort of thing varies along a wide spectrum.

It isn't the only thing either. This blog post (http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/03/17/what-universal-human-experiences-are-you-missing-without-realizing-it/) (and the comments) might be of some interest to you with regards to other "fundamental flaws" that many, many people have, and no one realizes.

[Closet_Skeleton]

If you need to describe places in your writing, you could always try working from photographs, assuming that works.

If you had to say, draw a trapezium from the concept, how easy would that be?

[Talanic]

I had to look up what a trapezium is - we call it a trapezoid in the States - but drawing basic geometry's not hard. It's when I start to need detail that it falls apart, and I always think my drawings look sloppy no matter how much effort I put into them.

You're right; I could try describing photographs of mundane areas when I need to. I'm not sure it feels right, but thanks for the suggestion.