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Emperordaniel
2015-10-11, 09:15 PM
In this game, you come up with something to give to the person below you, and then the next person describes what they'd do with the thing they were given, before coming up in turn with something of their own, and so on.


Person 1: I give you a live chicken.
Person 2: I place it in a catapult and launch it across the Atlantic.
Person 2: I give you a lightsaber.
Person 3: I use it to stab Xihirli.

And so on...

I give you a live chicken.

Orm-Embar
2015-10-11, 09:19 PM
I use it to stab Xihirli.

TPBM, I give you a rowboat.

Xihirli
2015-10-11, 10:09 PM
http://media.makeameme.org/created/i-stab-xihirli.jpg

I give you a running gag.

Inevitability
2015-10-12, 02:54 PM
I complain that it hasn't ever been funny, isn't funny right now, and won't ever be funny.

I give you a potato.

Jon0113
2015-10-12, 03:25 PM
I pass it to the chicken.

I provide a cheesecake

Prince Zahn
2015-10-12, 03:53 PM
I thank you for it and eat it, only to complain about my weight gain the next week.

I give you a box of expensive candy.

Orm-Embar
2015-10-12, 04:33 PM
I give the candy to trick-or-treaters, but only the ones wearing costumes.

I give you a monster truck.

Quild
2015-10-13, 07:19 AM
I use it to squash Xihirli.

I give you a magic potion.

Emperordaniel
2015-10-13, 01:04 PM
I feed it to Xihirli to see what happens.

I give you a toy.

Inevitability
2015-10-13, 02:44 PM
I try to determine what kind of toy it is.

I give you a owlbear plushie.

Xihirli
2015-10-13, 04:32 PM
I eat it to get rid of the taste of the potion.

I give you dog vomit.

Jon0113
2015-10-13, 05:06 PM
I use the chicken to clean it up.

I give you a toaster

kaufen
2015-10-14, 01:47 AM
I'm selling it.

I give you gold dracon.

Prince Zahn
2015-10-14, 06:04 AM
I take good care of it.

I give you a paper of pins, for that's the way true love begins...

Orm-Embar
2015-10-14, 09:07 AM
I put it with the others.

I give you a ginormous stereo-speaker system.

Emperordaniel
2015-10-14, 08:07 PM
I buy a good set of earplugs, aim the stereo speakers at my enemies and turn them up to 11, and then move to the other side of the house.

I give you a dissected frog.

Inevitability
2015-10-15, 07:04 AM
I throw it away. It's a dead amphibian, what do you expect me to do with it?

I give you a knitted sweater

Prince Zahn
2015-10-15, 09:04 AM
Thank you! I put it in my closet. I'll wear it in the winter, but it's just too hot right now :smalltongue:

I give you a bowl full of almonds.

Quild
2015-10-15, 09:41 AM
I extract Cyanide and use it to poison someone.

I give you Happiness.

Inevitability
2015-10-16, 12:34 PM
I am thankful for it.

I give you a closed timelike curve.

Xihirli
2015-10-16, 08:11 PM
I use it to stab someone.

I give you a time wound.

Razanir
2015-10-16, 08:39 PM
I summon Reapers (http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Reaper).

I give you nothing!

Insane Trystane
2015-10-16, 11:11 PM
I asphyxiate, but am glad the clutter's out of my living space.

I give you all my worldly posessions.

Emperordaniel
2015-10-17, 12:43 AM
I donate them to charity.

I give you a nice hat.

Prince Zahn
2015-10-17, 04:57 AM
Thanks! I always wanted to be a hat person!

I give you some fresh, tasty bread - I baked it myself.

Inevitability
2015-10-17, 07:19 AM
I make sandwiches and share them with you.

I give you some sandwiches, too.

Dire Moose
2015-10-17, 11:32 AM
I eat them.

I give you a hand grenade a few seconds after I've removed the pin.

Insane Trystane
2015-10-17, 01:47 PM
I eat it.

I give you the humorous video footage of my belly poofing up like a cartoon explosive.

Prince Zahn
2015-10-17, 02:44 PM
I don't believe my own eyes. It has to be special effects... Right?

I give you front row tickets to that concert you wished you could go to but didn't want the trouble from the "your wish granted, with a twist" thread. No, I'm afraid I can not turn your tickets into diamonds. Don't look the gift horse in the mouth.

Orm-Embar
2015-10-27, 05:09 PM
I go to the concert. But, in a not-unexpected twist, I end up slightly deafened.

I give you a brand new black tee-shirt with that one really cool band's name on it.

Emperordaniel
2015-10-27, 06:07 PM
I wear it quite often.

I give you a fake dragon skull.

Inevitability
2015-10-28, 04:09 PM
I adorn my secret lair with it.

I give you a train ticket.

Prince Zahn
2015-10-28, 05:26 PM
I ride the rails and go on a less amazing journey than what is romanticized in fiction.

I give you a set of silk pajamas.

Xihirli
2015-10-28, 06:44 PM
http://media.makeameme.org/created/250/qntqcv.jpg

I give you a drow law book.

Dudeons
2015-10-28, 07:58 PM
After some intense studying and impressive cosmetic surgery, I become a drow lawyer.

I give you summons to appear in court.

Khallazar
2015-10-28, 08:12 PM
Unless you know my full name, can draw my Sigil and place my 3 items above it I won't show up.

I lend you an Anarchist Cookbook.

Quild
2015-10-29, 11:25 AM
No way I'm going to do what a book tells me to do.

I give you "irony".

Orm-Embar
2015-10-29, 06:30 PM
I use it only for good. Or was that sarcasm?

I give you a book by an author you've never read before.

Prince Zahn
2015-10-30, 03:30 AM
I tell you I'll gladly read it later, but I never get to it.

I give you a slinky.

Fii
2015-10-30, 01:13 PM
I send it down the most steps the world has to offer.

I give you a pineapple.

Xihirli
2015-10-30, 02:17 PM
I stab Xihirli.

I give you a pregnant, three-legged moose.

Inevitability
2015-10-30, 03:38 PM
I... Donate it to the nearest zoo?

I give you a very difficult maths problem.

Dudeons
2015-10-30, 04:36 PM
I smash Doritos on it. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE1QbgJCdus)

I give you a million hypothetical dollars.

Emperordaniel
2015-10-30, 09:22 PM
I buy a hundred hypothetical cars.

I give you a face.

Prince Zahn
2015-10-31, 06:30 AM
I FAAACE someone with it the next time I get hurt.

I give you a funny fridge magnet.

Inevitability
2015-10-31, 09:30 AM
I bemoan my lack of metal fridges, and instead put the magnet on the radiator.

I give you some spinach.

Voxx
2015-11-01, 01:19 AM
I eat it and become a super strong sailor man.

I give you a cup of earl grey

TheGamemaniac
2015-11-01, 12:05 PM
I am grossed out by the cup of dead person.

I Give you a Hamburger.

Ninjaman
2015-11-03, 12:11 PM
I eat it and is a bit dissapointed at how fat my thighs look afterwards.

I give you a bowl of nachos, except the chips are razor blades.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-03, 01:08 PM
Noticing the shining metal through the cheese, I slap you upside the head. Honestly, why must ruin those expensive shaving blades, and more importantly why you would waste all that precious cheese?:smallmad:

I give you a hug.

Xihirli
2015-11-26, 07:31 PM
I use it to stab Xihirli.

I give you a pet raptor.

Emperordaniel
2015-11-26, 10:08 PM
I give it to Dina.

I give you a toy monkey. One of those creepy-looking ones with the cymbals in their hands.

Ninjaman
2015-11-27, 01:53 AM
I start a rockband with it.

I give you fire in a bottle.

Dudeons
2015-11-27, 02:06 AM
I drink it while everyone else in the forum yells "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

I give you a 5" by 5" by 1" slab of white space.

Inevitability
2015-11-28, 12:05 PM
I place it in front of someone I really don't like.

I give you an area of magical Silence.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-28, 04:20 PM
I sit ans and read in it for a while, ignoring my push notifications.

I give you a hug.

Emperordaniel
2015-11-28, 04:33 PM
I act surprised.

I hug you back.

Xihirli
2015-11-29, 12:35 AM
http://media.makeameme.org/created/250/ch97bi.jpg

I give you a scroll.

Dudeons
2015-11-29, 01:06 AM
I read it and my flesh turns to stone.

I give you your pound of flesh. My flesh, to be precise.

Ninjaman
2015-11-29, 05:09 AM
I sell it to an ogre.

I give you the ogre's club.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-29, 11:03 AM
I use it to troll the ogres and knock them out.

I give to you a generous portion of my profits, even though you took no part in trapping the ogres nor trolling them.

Xihirli
2015-11-29, 12:18 PM
I Meteor Swarm you and take ALL of your valuables and possessions, then promptly throw them away.

I throw all of Zahn's valuables at you.

Emperordaniel
2015-11-29, 01:09 PM
I sell them and build myself a nice place to live.

I give you a glass of grape juice.

Inevitability
2015-11-29, 03:41 PM
I drink it. Grape juice is delicious!

I give you a few slime molds (http://nethack.wikia.com/wiki/Slime_mold).

Prince Zahn
2015-11-30, 02:16 AM
I burn it :smallyuk: I want nothing to do with your soylent green conspiracy.


I give you a generic quality Firestone, which ironically doesn't combust :\

Ninjaman
2015-11-30, 08:34 AM
I set it on fire

and

give it to you

Xihirli
2015-11-30, 04:06 PM
I shove it down your throat.

I give you a corpse.

Inevitability
2015-11-30, 04:22 PM
I get it to a morgue.

I give you the MitD's true identity.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-30, 05:24 PM
I laugh at what I think must be speculations. There's no way that can be right!

I give you a set of Kunai with C-4 sticks professionally attached to them. I lost my detonator in another thread though. If you can find it, it's yours.

Ninjaman
2015-12-01, 02:52 AM
I make a new detonator

and

Throw the Kunai at you, before triggering the detonator

Xihirli
2015-12-01, 09:40 PM
I explode.

My colon lands on you.

Inevitability
2015-12-02, 02:34 PM
I try to get it off, shower, douse the spot where your colon touched me in holy water, shower again, and scour the skin with acid. Only then do I feel safe again.

I give you a vial of acid.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-03, 01:22 AM
I fake being pleased and thank you, and get rid of it when you're not lookin'. If you really liked me, you would have gotten me Alchemist's fire.

I give you a limited-edition collector's tinderbox for the fire-enthused gentleman or lady. It is gilded with small, white gold embellishments, as well as your initials etched on it.

Now THAT'S a gift:smallcool:

@vNerp you won't. I'm fire immune like that, you know. :smalltongue:
You can give me anyway, I'm just not dead nor crisped.

Ninjaman
2015-12-03, 03:24 AM
I thank you and set you on fire. That's a great gift.

I give you Prince Zahn's heavily burned body.

Dudeons
2015-12-03, 07:14 AM
Me and Zahn team up to hunt down Xihirli.

I give you a life sentence in the Abyss, poster below me who is most likely Xihirli!

Inevitability
2015-12-03, 04:00 PM
Hey everyone, it's been some time since i last visited this thread and OH GOD WHY OH WHY THE PAIN IT HURTS SO BAD NO DON'T PUT THAT UP MY URETHR... AAAAAAAAARGH!

I give you a stern look of disappointment. Be more careful when handing out eternities of damnation, will you?

Xihirli
2015-12-03, 05:38 PM
Who, me? When have I ever... ugh. FINE.

I give you a get-out-of-eternal-damnation-free card.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-03, 06:38 PM
I merrily accept your get-out-of-eternal-damnation-free card. Thank you, Xihirli! Wow!!! That might be the nicest thing you've ever done for me, remind me to give you something nice too later:smallsmile:


I give you a few pieces of chocolate. It's the good stuff, though!

Ninjaman
2015-12-04, 12:22 AM
I get really happy, eat it and become even happier.

I give you a barrel of toffees.

Inevitability
2015-12-04, 04:46 PM
I share with everyone I know, because I'm such a kind and nice person and totally not because I dislike toffees.

I give you a dragon egg.

Xihirli
2015-12-04, 07:42 PM
I find its mother and destroy the egg in front of her.

I coat you in the innards of a dead dragon fetus and push you at a dragon before running away.

Shadow11615
2015-12-05, 09:00 PM
I jump in the dragon's mouth before it can eat me. (not that any dragon I know of would eat another's innards)
^ because it can't eat me if I'm already in it. Maybe I should have thrown the chicken in?
I give you a pet rock.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-06, 09:24 AM
I trade you a bowl of Sea monkeys for it.

I give you a second head, because magic!

Inevitability
2015-12-07, 03:04 PM
I have lengthy discussions with it, then despair and wonder if there are any clinics specializing in the removal of unwanted heads. I and the other head start plotting against each other, careful to not let the other notice, and eventually manage to kill each other at the same time.

I give you a professional maid/butler.

Xihirli
2015-12-07, 03:42 PM
I use their blood to paint pretty pretty pictures.

I give you a pretty pretty picture.

lurkmeister
2015-12-07, 04:59 PM
I use it to bash you over the head with the canvas ... Three Stooges fashion.

I provide (1) AT-AT walker. Unfortunately, it still has its Imperial command crew in it.

Ninjaman
2015-12-09, 01:43 PM
I dodge their shots (shouldn't be to hard) and hijack it.

I give you a half finished deathstar.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-09, 02:27 PM
I build the rest out of Legos.

I give you a long enough cleaver and a fulcrum upon which to coup-de-grace with it.

Xihirli
2015-12-09, 03:04 PM
I cut you open.

I sue you.

Pex
2015-12-10, 01:20 AM
I defend myself on Judge Judy.

I give you a hand.

Ninjaman
2015-12-10, 05:33 AM
I make it my servant

I give you a cemetary

Prince Zahn
2015-12-10, 05:48 AM
I rent it out to zombies and lich teens who REALLY jist want to freak out the locals and randomly generated groups of adventurers.


I give you a cup of hot tea and some these really good cookies... Made with cricket flour!

Inevitability
2015-12-10, 11:58 AM
I eat the cookies. I'm not a tea person, though. Guess you could say it isn't my cup of tea.

I give you this horrible pun.

Emperordaniel
2015-12-10, 02:21 PM
I groan.

I give you Jake. aka Malack

Dudeons
2015-12-10, 02:58 PM
Oh, Jake from accounting? Screw Jake from accounting!

I give you an accountant. Who is not Jake.

Xihirli
2015-12-10, 10:57 PM
Screw the accountant!

I give you a video. Of me and the accountant.

Shadow11615
2015-12-10, 11:42 PM
I see if it's flammable and film it burning.
I give you the remains. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe.

Emperordaniel
2015-12-11, 02:23 AM
I like and comment, but forget to subscribe.

I give you a tank with two fish in it.

Jon0113
2015-12-11, 05:41 AM
I return a tank with 3 fish in it, one of which is a shark

I give you a whale

Ninjaman
2015-12-11, 08:51 AM
I take it to the amusment park. I have a whale of a good time.

I give you my awful awful pun.

Dudeons
2015-12-11, 02:21 PM
I take it to the wordsmith, and he forges it into a bon mot.

I give you some bonbons.

Xihirli
2015-12-11, 04:54 PM
I hold them every night before I go to sleep.

I give you a disturbing mental image.

backwaterj
2015-12-11, 10:17 PM
I shrug, think I've seen far worse on YouTube, and file it away with the rest of the unpleasant thoughts.

I give you a live electric eel. You're welcome. :smallwink:

@V: Technically that would be four fish, none of which is actually an eel. Mind blown yet?

Emperordaniel
2015-12-11, 11:04 PM
I put it in the tank with the two fish and the shark.

I give you a tank with two fish, a shark, and an electric eel.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-12, 04:17 AM
I sell it to the Sushi place down the block.

I give you the money and the invoice of said transaction. You didn't get it from me, got it?

Ninjaman
2015-12-12, 07:20 AM
I spend them on sushi.

I give you my change.

Xihirli
2015-12-12, 12:42 PM
I pelt you with quarters.

I give you a picnic.

Emperordaniel
2015-12-12, 08:28 PM
I eat it and thank you, while surreptitiously downing every poison antidote in my possession.

I give you a soundtrack.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-13, 01:35 AM
I listen to it, enjoy it, get addicted to it's new sound, but I'll never admit I like it.

I'll give to you a dress of red,
Stitched all around in a golden thread.

Ninjaman
2015-12-13, 05:14 AM
I put it on and look fabulous.

I give you a cheesecake.

Shadow11615
2015-12-13, 10:56 PM
I feed it to the chicken and give it tea to drink.
Cheese cookies?
I give you a chip bag, without the chips, and air from my lungs.

Inevitability
2015-12-14, 03:29 PM
I throw the bag away.

I give you a strain of a humanity-destroying plague.

Xihirli
2015-12-14, 06:10 PM
I immediately release it into the nearest convenient city.

I give you a vaccine full of lice.

backwaterj
2015-12-14, 07:10 PM
I shave my head, because darnit, the threat of smallpox is far more dangerous.

I give you my shorn locks.

Ninjaman
2015-12-15, 12:01 PM
I use them to clone you.

I give you three Backwaterj clones.

lurkmeister
2015-12-16, 12:22 AM
I use them to make mischief while maintaining bizarre alibis.

I give you several sacks of ill-gotten gold.

Inevitability
2015-12-16, 01:57 PM
I spend them on a massive christmas dinner.

I give you an invitation to the Christmas dinner.

Ninjaman
2015-12-17, 02:23 AM
I show up and have a great time.

I give you some leftover candy from the party.

Emperordaniel
2015-12-17, 03:37 AM
I eat some and put the rest in a closet to save for later, forget about them, and eventually rediscover it a long time later, by which point it is no longer edible.

I give you a set of earplugs.

Jon0113
2015-12-17, 10:07 AM
I thank you, while secretly thinking who I can pass them on to.

I give you a gift which may or may not be ear plugs

Prince Zahn
2015-12-17, 12:01 PM
I thank you and give them to a hobo as soon as your back is turned.

A hobo shares his used wax-filled earplugs with you, as well as his bread.

lurkmeister
2015-12-17, 05:57 PM
I thank him, repackage them, sell them to you (heh heh, sucker), and make myself scarce.

I give you AIDS pills hobo-wax-encrusted earplugs...

backwaterj
2015-12-18, 02:04 AM
I thank you profusely as they're much better than my current pair.

I give you this thing in my pocket. I think it used to be a grocery list . . . or a cough drop . . .

Emperordaniel
2015-12-18, 04:26 AM
I gingerly take it to the trash.

I give you the Object.

Ninjaman
2015-12-18, 05:06 AM
I lick it, coming to the conclusion that it's deffinately not a cough drop.

I give you the non-coughdrop thing.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-18, 07:07 AM
Oh, thank you!
*puts the object back in it's thread where it belongs*

I arrange for you a blind date.
I give you a blind date (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/73/4c/a4/734ca439da50d7fbf33ca29036acd497.jpg)

lurkmeister
2015-12-18, 11:43 AM
I hit it off with her and find myself back at her place overnight ... if you know what I mean ... :belkar:

I give you a cologne bottle filled with people pheromones

Dudeons
2015-12-18, 02:18 PM
I apply it to myself. Now nobody can tell that I'm not a- wait, I am a human. So now I'm a human who smells extra human-y? What would that even mean?

I give you a legion of acapella singers.

Jon0113
2015-12-18, 04:18 PM
I create an empire with the greatest anthem ever

I give 5 of my empires currency

lurkmeister
2015-12-18, 05:16 PM
I use it to play the currency trading game and make 10 million in Zimbabwean dollars.

I give you RZ$ 10,000,000.
I apply it to myself. Now nobody can tell that I'm not a- wait, I am a human. So now I'm a human who smells extra human-y? What would that even mean?

It means you are now a memetic sex god :belkar:

Emperordaniel
2015-12-18, 11:19 PM
I take the single banknote and add it to my collection of foreign currencies.

I give you an iron giant.

backwaterj
2015-12-19, 06:39 AM
I have some extremely large clothes that need ironing, so I put him to good use.

I give you some neatly-pressed size 428L slacks.

Inevitability
2015-12-19, 07:55 AM
I politely refuse them.

I give you the common cold.

Dudeons
2015-12-19, 08:25 AM
I give you AIDS.

I give you the cure to cancer.

Ninjaman
2015-12-19, 10:26 AM
I sell it and use the money to build a castle.

I give you a spare trebutchet because I ordered one too many.

backwaterj
2015-12-19, 04:26 PM
A trebuchet?! Christmas has come early! My heart's one desire has been fulfilled!

I set it up in my back yard and start randomly flinging large rocks, crates, livestock, and Volkswagens at the neighbors (they never liked me much anyways).

I give you a Volkswagen on a ballistic trajectory toward your residence.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-19, 05:01 PM
:eek:

I drive my residence 20 feet to the left. It makes me that much more grateful for living in a mobile home:smalltongue:

I give you a mighty ding in your car as I attempt this almost brilliant maneuver. Along with an apology.

Emperordaniel
2015-12-20, 02:20 AM
I debate whether to sue you for damaging my car or congratulate you for that brilliant maneuver.

I give you a green gemstone.

lurkmeister
2015-12-20, 05:13 PM
I realize it's the finest emerald seen in a hundred years and sell it to some daft old lady for a mint.

I give you 10% of the profits.

backwaterj
2015-12-20, 05:24 PM
My breath is now precisely 10% fresher.

I give you a secret Masonic handshake.

Inevitability
2015-12-21, 07:45 AM
I don't recognize it as such.

I give you the set of all sets that do not contain themselves.

Ninjaman
2015-12-21, 05:36 PM
My brain implodes.

I give you an undead ninja.

lurkmeister
2015-12-21, 09:34 PM
It turns me into one of the walking dead.

I go all nom nom nom on you. You fight me off, but I've given you zombie sickness.

Whoops my b...RAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINS



I give you the set of all sets that do not contain themselves.
I thought that sounded familiar... (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russell%27s_paradox)

backwaterj
2015-12-21, 11:42 PM
Great! When the apocalypse comes, I'll be on the winning side! . . . Now about those brains, my good fellow . . .

I give you the losing side in said zombie apocalypse.

Jon0113
2015-12-22, 05:44 AM
I take part in a doomed effort to protect mankind. Shopping malls are good places for that right?

I give you a ticket to our last stand

Inevitability
2015-12-22, 05:54 AM
I bring popcorn and watch.

I give you a dramatic orchestral piece.

Ninjaman
2015-12-22, 08:50 AM
I listen to it on the toilet.

I give you a frozen turnip.

backwaterj
2015-12-22, 11:48 AM
Thanks?! Well, I guess I needed a good doorstop.

I give you a Christmas musical.

lurkmeister
2015-12-22, 12:10 PM
I defrost it and cook it and realize Christmas musicals aren't turnips. Then I try to put on a show and make money.

I give you two (2) tickets to my Christmas musical extravaganza.

Ninjaman
2015-12-23, 01:30 PM
I take TPBM to the musical.

I give you a ticket to the musical.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-23, 04:16 PM
I thank you and say I'll be there and merry Christmas!

I give you my ticket to Lurkmeister's Christmas musical extravaganza.

Jon0113
2015-12-23, 05:19 PM
I can't go. I'm very sorry about it.

I give you a note of apology

backwaterj
2015-12-23, 06:13 PM
No need to apologize. lurkmeister cashed in on my idea. Also, can I have your ticket?

I give you a glass of a substance that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

Dudeons
2015-12-23, 08:49 PM
Lipton ice green tea, huh? I toast to your health and chug the dichotomous substance with haste.

I give you a sword, with a note attached that says 'Raise into air and shout 'by the power of Grayskull!'"

lurkmeister
2015-12-23, 10:48 PM
I do so and enjoy my fifteen minutes of superhero fame. Then Skeletor pwns me.

I give you one (1) Skeletor-controlled Earth.

Ninjaman
2015-12-24, 04:20 AM
I defeat him and gain control of the world.

World domination bores me, so I give the control to you.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-24, 07:14 AM
I screw it up by turning the world into a democracy.

I nominate you for vice president of Earth.

Emperordaniel
2015-12-24, 08:39 AM
I accept the nomination.

I give you a large bribe and ask you to vote for me.

backwaterj
2015-12-24, 02:22 PM
I accept your bribe and vote for Stephen Colbert.

I give you Stephen Colbert as president of Earth.

Ninjaman
2015-12-24, 06:12 PM
I reply with a shrug. "Could have been worse."

I give you a concentrated potion of worseness.

Dudeons
2015-12-24, 07:48 PM
I pour it onto some wurst.

I give you the worst wurst.

lurkmeister
2015-12-25, 01:26 AM
I cut it up, mix some "filler" into it, get some casings, and prove that there's no such thing as "worst" wurst :belkar:

I give you some of my worser wurst.

backwaterj
2015-12-25, 01:35 AM
Worse comes to wurst, I eat the worst wurst with Worchestershire sauce.

I give you a thread that sounds eerily like Dr. Seuss.

Emperordaniel
2015-12-25, 02:03 AM
I sew the thread into my clothes.

I give you a partridge in a pear tree.

Jon0113
2015-12-25, 03:19 AM
I put them with the 5 gold rings, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens and 2 turtle doves. My house is now very full

I give you the spirit of christmas

Dudeons
2015-12-25, 04:26 AM
I split it into the spirits of Christmas past, present, and future.

I give you a bunch of chains and tell you that Marley needs a stunt double.

Ninjaman
2015-12-25, 04:34 AM
I nod, wrap the chains around me and leaps off a cliff.

I give you a chained ninja falling at high velocity.

backwaterj
2015-12-25, 04:36 AM
I invent a new prestige class, the Chained Plummeter!
(Actually, giving serious thought to making this an actuality. Something involving spiked chain proficiency and charging rules. With Sudden Strike as prereq, of course. :smallwink:)

I give you the confusion of how you're supposed to balance the Chained Plummeter with existing rules, whilst simultaneously keeping your players happy.

Inevitability
2015-12-25, 06:03 AM
I decide Chained Plummeters are all from a single, isolated monastery in the far north, and a DC 30 knowledge check is required to have heard about them at all.

I give you a trash can.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-25, 08:49 AM
I clean it up, paint it yellow, blue and black, and use it as a big vase for my glass orchids.

I give you the aforementioned piece of modern folk art.

lurkmeister
2015-12-28, 02:11 AM
I pass it off as a genuine Warhol in the Chinese art market and make a killing. At least, until the torches and pitchforks come out.

I give you one unscrupulous art dealer being run out of town...

backwaterj
2015-12-28, 03:14 AM
I charge said art dealer a king's ransom to smuggle him safely to *rolls d%* British Columbia.

I give you a captive king mysteriously missing his ransom money.

Emperordaniel
2015-12-28, 04:40 PM
I release the king in exchange for being given a place in his court.

I give you a pair of dancing knights.

Inevitability
2015-12-29, 04:51 AM
I watch them dance.

I give you an electronic guitar.

lurkmeister
2015-12-29, 05:44 AM
I try to play it. It goes poorly.

I get some materials to learn how to play it. (I'm an autodidact at heart.) Eventually, I learn to play it well.

Then I get some friends together and we form a garage band.

I give you a free garage-band concert.

backwaterj
2015-12-29, 05:54 AM
My contentment level goes up 23% and I start promoting a tour of all the neighborhood bands around all the neighborhood garages.

I give you two (2) tickets to Garagapalooza.

Ninjaman
2015-12-29, 08:09 AM
I bring a friend.

I ask if you want to be my friend.

Emperordaniel
2015-12-29, 01:09 PM
I befriend you.

I give you a vinyl record of the soundtrack of The Empire Strikes Back.

lurkmeister
2015-12-29, 11:58 PM
I listen to it while writing this thing that I should be writing ...

I give you the keys to my heart apartment.

backwaterj
2015-12-30, 12:07 AM
I water your mail, check your dog, and take your plants out every day for a walk. That was what you asked me to do, right?

I give you some well-watered mail.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-30, 01:06 AM
Thank you kind sir or madam. I have a spell that'll fix it right up. Just bear in mind I prefer my mail soaked in kerosene better, it's easier that way to burn the paper mache afterwards :smalltongue:

I give you a combustible pinata full of fireworks, with instructions to light it only when the ball drops.

Dudeons
2015-12-30, 11:05 AM
I hang it from my ceiling and construct a Rube Goldberg machine that will ignite the pinata precisely one minute before midnight, just to spite you.

I give you some spiteful Sprite™.

Ninjaman
2015-12-31, 07:57 AM
I smite everything in sight.

I give you a smiting.

backwaterj
2015-12-31, 04:41 PM
As I have the total absence of all alignment, your smiting . . . is pretty much a normal attack. And given my 18ish Constitution score . . . keep doing that, it kind of tickles.

I give you a smitten smithy.

lurkmeister
2015-12-31, 10:46 PM
Aww the smithy is in lurv ... Wait, how can a smithy be in lurv? It's a building! Does that mean buildings have souls? Gah!

I fob off on give you a vexing metaphysical problem.

Emperordaniel
2015-12-31, 11:06 PM
I contemplate it for a bit, then go do something else. Browse the internet, probably.

I give you a hundred bottlecaps.

Inevitability
2016-01-01, 01:52 PM
I try to stack them as high as possible. I then get bored and throw the bottlecaps away.

I give you the wonderful gift of honesty.

Ninjaman
2016-01-01, 09:54 PM
I give you my honest opinion about it. "It's a terrible gift."

I give you a halfhearted insult.

lurkmeister
2016-01-02, 01:17 AM
I should countertroll you but I find I halfheartedly couldn't care less.

I give you a box.

backwaterj
2016-01-02, 02:11 AM
I use it as a receptacle for some of the clutter around my place.

I give you a box full of useless clutter special keepsakes.

Prince Zahn
2016-01-02, 09:55 AM
I give it all to a hobo, and suggest he could sell what still works.

I give you a homeless person who needs food and shelter while he gets his life together. I hope you don't mind or anything!

Jon0113
2016-01-04, 02:54 PM
I recruit him as the first member of my army of hobos. He can be general

I give you a barrage of litter

Dire Moose
2016-01-09, 10:02 AM
I dispose of it properly.

I give you a live, very hungry Tyrannosaurus rex.

Ninjaman
2016-01-09, 10:11 AM
I leash him and take him to the park.

I give you the intimidating sight of a ninja with a tyrannosaurus pet.

Inevitability
2016-01-09, 10:34 AM
I roll to disbelieve.

I give you a dollar.

Xihirli
2016-01-09, 11:14 AM
I buy the world.

I give you the world.

backwaterj
2016-01-09, 10:31 PM
I throw it away.

I give you a very full trashcan.

Prince Zahn
2016-01-10, 07:50 AM
I dump it out on Sesame Street.

I give you Bert and Ernie while I'm already there.

Emperordaniel
2016-01-10, 08:43 AM
I put 'em up on eBay.

I give you 10% of the profits.

Xihirli
2016-01-10, 03:10 PM
I buy an Ed-209.

I give you a loyal puppy.

backwaterj
2016-01-10, 10:33 PM
I eat it give it a good home.

I give you a suspicious-looking plate of what might be puppy bones.

Ninjaman
2016-01-11, 12:33 AM
I throw it on the ground to scry my future.

I give you bones on the floor of your apartment.

Dudeons
2016-01-11, 12:39 AM
I chase after you with a broomstick that may or may not be a shotgun. "Get back here and clean up this mess, whippersnapper!"

I give you a mid-life crisis.

Xihirli
2016-01-11, 06:04 PM
I decide the cure must be Meteor Swarming more people.

I give you a meteor swarm. In the face.

Emperordaniel
2016-01-11, 07:05 PM
I die.

I give you bitter dark chocolate. With nuts.

backwaterj
2016-01-11, 10:02 PM
I die happy.

I give you a corpse with a huge smile on its face.

Ninjaman
2016-01-12, 12:57 AM
I start a legion of cheerful dead.

I give you the army once I'm bored with it.

lurkmeister
2016-01-12, 06:27 AM
I use it to conquer the world with a cheerful smile on my face.

I give you one world controlled by an evil cheerful necromantic overlord.

Dudeons
2016-01-12, 06:30 AM
I, for one, welcome our new cheerful overlord.

I attend the new overlord's press conference and invite TPBM.

backwaterj
2016-01-12, 08:48 PM
I attend, and heckle him with questions about who he's appointing to what office.

I give you the decisions of who to appoint to what office under Our Most Benificent and Amicable Evil Overlord's dominion.

Ninjaman
2016-01-13, 12:49 AM
I don't need to make the decision since I am rich from all the stocks I had in Lurkmeister.

I give a 5% share if you can sing me a cheerful tune.

Prince Zahn
2016-01-14, 05:37 PM
I whistle magnificently while my accomplice Knicks your valuables and bank information.

I hire you as my accomplice, paying you with my last 20$ and everything you can knick from ninjaman, (this time, it's personal.:smallmad::smalltongue: nah I kid you know but I always wanted to say that, guess I failed again!)

Xihirli
2016-01-16, 12:25 AM
I kill everyone.

I throw a knife at you.

Dudeons
2016-01-16, 01:00 AM
I catch the blade with my spork, causing them to fuse together.

I give the ultimate eating utensil to TPBM.

Emperordaniel
2016-01-16, 08:14 AM
I never use any other eating utensil again, unless I lose or misplace this one.

I give you some delicious brownies.

Ninjaman
2016-01-16, 08:37 PM
I eat them furiously.

I give you the crumbs leftover from my ineffective eating technique.

backwaterj
2016-01-17, 08:29 PM
I eat them spuriously.

I give you a napkin.

Prince Zahn
2016-01-18, 07:31 AM
Thanks but I use my handkerchief. I do enchant it though.

I give you a +1 napkin of sneezing.

Ninjaman
2016-01-18, 09:16 AM
I sneeze into it and...

... give it to you.

Xihirli
2016-01-19, 11:35 PM
I set it aflame.

I give you a burning ball of snot.

Dudeons
2016-01-20, 12:06 AM
Dudeons used Hydro Pump! It's super-effective!

I give you a Master Ball.

backwaterj
2016-01-20, 02:20 AM
I shoot some hoops with it.

I give you a very dizzy and disgruntled pokemon.

Ninjaman
2016-01-20, 06:51 AM
I cook it.

I give you a very exotic steak.

Inevitability
2016-01-21, 03:44 AM
I poke it with my fork.

I give you 1010 things.

Xihirli
2016-01-22, 08:06 PM
I use them to

throw 1010 things at the person below me.

backwaterj
2016-01-22, 08:30 PM
I dodge 994 of the things, deeming the other 16 worthy of sprucing up my lair and ingesting them for later.

I give you a divan covered in greenish goo.

lurkmeister
2016-01-23, 11:20 AM
I tent it and when it's completely de-gooed I have a nice divan.

I give you a bowl of my chili. Made with very exotic steaks!

KristianaSimone
2016-01-31, 09:31 PM
I feed the chili to a hungry wanderer.

I give you a set of humming darts.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-01, 08:23 AM
I play with them and make them hum every day.

I give you. . . This thing, I don't know what it is, but you'll probably be able to use it better than I can.

PBM received 1 Real Something-Something.

Emperordaniel
2016-02-01, 05:36 PM
I try to figure out what it is and what it's for.

I give you two peanut-butter-and-banana sandwiches and two cheese-and-banana sandwiches.

Xihirli
2016-02-01, 06:42 PM
I eat them.

I give you bat guano.

backwaterj
2016-02-01, 08:08 PM
I make explosives. Because other than decorating Bat-Caves, what else is that stuff good for?

I give you a ticking time-bomb.

Trog
2016-02-02, 10:41 AM
*installs a snooze button*

Trog gives you a coffee mug as big as your head.

Ninjaman
2016-02-02, 12:58 PM
I will it with much much coffee.

I throw the scalding hot coffee at you.

Dudeons
2016-02-02, 01:31 PM
I absorb it into a cake.

I give you coffee cake (now with REAL coffee!)

backwaterj
2016-02-02, 08:16 PM
I consume it, increasing my caffeine-based superpowers exponentially!

What?! I have those! It just doesn't come up much!

I give you a java-flavored wave of mutilation.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-03, 03:21 AM
I reject it. It's not compatible with Android.:smallfrown:

I give you a 3 Bishops - A chesspiece, a high ranking servant of the faith, and a Bangaa.

sengmeng
2016-02-10, 05:51 PM
I complain that the collection did not include a homicidal android.

I give the person below me a rash.

Xihirli
2016-02-10, 08:02 PM
I use it as a weapon to murder my asthma.

I give TPBM the corpse of my asthma.

Ninjaman
2016-02-11, 02:13 AM
I reanimate it.

I send it after you.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-11, 10:16 AM
I use command undead disease

and

I give it directions to your house.

backwaterj
2016-02-11, 05:01 PM
I realize the only viable way to combat the corpse of Xihirli's asthma is by enlisting the help of Miasma Corp.*

I give you a mass marketing campaign for foul odors.

*Miasma Corp: the overpowering stench of tomorrow, today!

Laharal
2016-02-16, 01:39 AM
I use it to become a millionaire and send you a thank you card.

I give you a big bonus for your marketing campaign.

lurkmeister
2016-03-02, 12:05 AM
I blow it all at casino card tables.

I give you an IOU for $2.13 million, payable to the Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce.

Prince Zahn
2016-03-14, 02:29 PM
I cash it in the next time I need a HUGE favor from you.


I give you a dragon's egg.

backwaterj
2016-03-18, 01:14 AM
I make a killer omelet.

I give you the rest, as it's too much for me to eat.

Ninjaman
2016-03-18, 03:00 AM
I eat it.

I bring you fire.

Disc Lorde
2016-03-18, 04:20 AM
I use it to toast marshmallows.

I give you an SUV.

Prince Zahn
2016-03-18, 02:01 PM
I use it for my next raffle.

I give you crushing despair, in the form of a handy, single use spell scroll.

Dudeons
2016-03-18, 04:43 PM
I eat the scroll. Mmmm, tastes like emo music.

I give TPBM emo music.