Damage of a Ukuelele.

[The Inquisition]

I am making an elderly deaf lizardfolk bard that is deliberately unoptimized. I am curious how much damage a ukelele would do, as I plan to duel wield them.

[NapazTrix]

It would be a improvised melee weapon of medium size, so I am pretty sure it would be 1d4. with a -4 on attack rolls with them.

[noob]

Says which mass they have.(giant ukulele weighting 33 tons ought to deal more damage than the tiniest ukulele)

[Tohsaka Rin]

A small improvised weapon, so 1d3. I think this is the only time I've ever needed to refer to the improvised weapon chart, so thanks for the first.

EDIT Wow, ninja'd. Still, small, not medium, according to the chart.

[NapazTrix]

refer to the improvised weapon chart

Whereabouts is this chart?

I was basing the size around how it's used, playing it is 2 hands but holding would be 1 so I guess it could be small.

[Tohsaka Rin]

Complete Warrior, page 159.

It goes by weight (I'll admit, I estimated object size, but a ukulele is damn light, being hollow, and not very big) so less than 2 pounds, 1d3 damage. Lighter than a club for sure, and those things are made to deal damage.

A ukulele isn't.

[Darrin]

Whereabouts is this chart?

I was basing the size around how it's used, playing it is 2 hands but holding would be 1 so I guess it could be small.

Complete Warrior page 159.

Most real-world uekeleles weigh around 1-2 lbs, so you're probably looking at 1d3.

However, if you tighten the strings, it will count as a "sharp" object and thus deal damage as an object twice its weight.

[/rimshot]

Complete Scoundrel has an "instrument blade" that could be added to a ukulele. 10 GP, 1/2 lb, functions as a dagger. And of course we cannot forget that the Cityscape Web Enhancement: Urban Tools (http://archive.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/we/20070314a) has the Almighty Lute-Bow.

[WeaselGuy]

However, if you tighten the strings, it will count as a "sharp" object and thus deal damage as an object twice its weight.

[/rimshot]


#gigglesnort
#musichumor

[Seclora]

#gigglesnort
#musichumor

While I disapprove of hashtags on principle(that principle is that we should trim unnecessary punctuation), I am so glad you pointed that out because I was really picturing El Kabong (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_hfirdv34n7A/TP2QqA7YJRI/AAAAAAAAG0c/HWZyW-j5Y8s/s1600/WHO%2BIS%2BEL%2BKABONG%2B4.png) with mono-filament strings on his guitar.

[DrMotives]

So, you want a vorpal guitar instead of a ukulele? That's a big step up in power.

[The Inquisition]

So, you want a vorpal guitar instead of a ukulele? That's a big step up in power.

If it's not a ukulele, it can't be anything else. It NEEDS to be a ukulele.

[DrMotives]

If it's not a ukulele, it can't be anything else. It NEEDS to be a ukulele.

Have you seen Mr. B? He's an annoying rapper, but he plays an electric banjolele. It's like the tiny chrome love child of a ukulele & a banjo. Truly an awe-inspiring thing.

[Cirrylius]

While I disapprove of hashtags on principle(that principle is that we should trim unnecessary punctuation), I am so glad you pointed that out because I was really picturing El Kabong (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_hfirdv34n7A/TP2QqA7YJRI/AAAAAAAAG0c/HWZyW-j5Y8s/s1600/WHO%2BIS%2BEL%2BKABONG%2B4.png) with mono-filament strings on his guitar.
True, but don't forget that the greater damage of a guitar over the ukelele is somewhat tempered by the fact that you can only use it in stealth settings once.


...'cause, y'know, the El Kabong "kabong" noise.

[Seclora]

True, but don't forget that the greater damage of a guitar over the ukelele is somewhat tempered by the fact that you can only use it in stealth settings once.


...'cause, y'know, the El Kabong "kabong" noise.

Given that 'deliberately unoptimized' was a design goal, that is an oddly ideal result. Not only does he have a single use weapon, but it also destroys any chance of subtelty.


Y'know, at kobold size, a ukulele basically is a guitar.

[Cirrylius]

Given that 'deliberately unoptimized' was a design goal, that is an oddly ideal result. Not only does he have a single use weapon, but it also destroys any chance of subtelty.


Y'know, at kobold size, a ukulele basically is a guitar.

Did we just start a meme??

Please O please God tell me we have started a meme

[Tohsaka Rin]

I don't want to dash your hopes, but I don't see any memes in here.

https://lartdelatable.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/boromir1.jpg?w=219&h=128

Oh, wait, there's one. It was hiding.

[TheifofZ]

If you're using the strings of the instrument as a weapon, I'd suggest getting them made of Adamantium, so they're less likely to break.
That way, the weapon isn't 100% single use. You can have a nifty slashing/bludgeoning 1d3-1d4 damage weapon that noone would expect.
I once made an orc that ran around using a music horn as a club, so I can get behind this build 100%.
For added flair, play Dueling Banjos after the initial sneak attack.
If you actually open up a music player and do this, bonus points.

[Tohsaka Rin]

Why play the banjo after the sneak attack?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX968V8ez-A

Clearly, the best idea is to play it before, and put your target completely off their guard.

[kopout]

I once played an El Kabong bard who played and fought with a specially reinforced double base, we had it do damage as a great club. If you're open to making your ukulele out of unusual materials a steel one would be more resilient so you could use it more than once.

[Nifft]

As an aside, I've always wanted to somehow make a viable melee Bard who used Summon Instrument to smash guitars over people's heads.