Pickup Lines

[Vaern]

I recently found out that one of my coworkers is a gamer, so I've unleashed a relentless torrent of terribly cheesy D&D-themed pickup lines on her. I'd like a few more to add to my collection. Here are a few of the lines I've thrown at her so far:

"You used to play a rogue? Of course you were a thief... that would explain why it was so easy for you to steal my heart."

"You should join my group sometime. We could use an enchanter, and you've already cast Charm Person on me."

"Funny, isn't it? I've been playing a bard for nearly ten years, and you're the one plucking at my heartstrings like a lute."

Let's hear some of your favorites. And let's try to keep them clean, shall we?

[FocusWolf413]

Before I contribute, is she okay with pickup lines?

[Seto]

Before I contribute, is she okay with pickup lines?

Yeah, big +1. It can be fun if she's reciprocating or coming up with lines of her own, but repeated cheesy pick-up lines may annoy her or embarrass her (whether she says it or not).

[WalkingTheShade]

inb4 nerdy sexual harassment...

[Inevitability]

The old classic: D&D style!


"Someone Send to Mount Celestia, 'cause they're missing an angel."

[BowStreetRunner]

Yeah, big +1. It can be fun if she's reciprocating or coming up with lines of her own, but repeated cheesy pick-up lines may annoy her or embarrass her (whether she says it or not).

Until to OP clears up the matter of whether she is okay with this or not, I WOULDN’T TOUCH THIS POST WITH A TEN FOOT POLE (http://www.nerdsonearth.com/2015/05/dungeons-and-dragons-i-wouldnt-touch-this-post-with-a-ten-foot-pole/).

[Vaern]

Yeah, big +1. It can be fun if she's reciprocating or coming up with lines of her own, but repeated cheesy pick-up lines may annoy her or embarrass her (whether she says it or not).

After two or three of them, she insisted that my lines were too good to keep to myself. We've been getting a good laugh out of them since then.

[atomicwaffle]

I think I failed my will save, because you fascinate me.

[Rubik]

Does she read OotS? Because Belkar's, "Hey Sweet Thing, wanna hold my rod of lordly might? If you push the right button, it might extend!" is too good to give up.

[Afgncaap5]

Does she read OotS? Because Belkar's, "Hey Sweet Thing, wanna hold my rod of lordly might? If you push the right button, it might extend!" is too good to give up.

Yeah, though if the emphasis is on keeping it clean that might be a bit far.

An exceptionally terrible one might be... "Hey baby, were you raised by a Minotaur? 'Cause you look a-MAZE-ing!"

[AvatarVecna]

"I should become a Bard, because I'm all about that bass!"

Yeah, uh...I'm not really good at this. Maybe...hrm...

"Hey baby, wanna go on an adventure with me? I'll delve deep into your dungeon, and you can encounter a purple worm."

[legomaster00156]

"I should become a Bard, because I'm all about that bass!"

Yeah, uh...I'm not really good at this. Maybe...hrm...

"Hey baby, wanna go on an adventure with me? I'll delve deep into your dungeon, and you can encounter a purple worm."
A "purple worm" sounds like a terrible encounter to have in this context. :smalleek:

[Alistaroc]

A "purple worm" sounds like a terrible encounter to have in this context. :smalleek:
*pulls out chart and rolls for STD*

[TheifofZ]

Come on, guys. Non-sexual pick up jokes; keep it clean.

"Well, looks like I won't be acting next round, because baby, you're stunning."
"Looks like I need a cleric to cast Revive; I must be dead to meet an angel like you."

... And apparently I'm running on empty because that's all I can come up with at the moment.
Also someone that's sharper than I currently am needs to come up with one involving a dragon and her being more beautiful than the entire hoard. But I can't do the words right, atm. major letdown.

[Rubik]

"Does anybody have a ring of fire resistance? Because You. Are. Hot."

[Uncle Pine]

"Hello, I'm <Insert Name Here>, a traveling mage. I notice your group has no wizard."

[nintendoh]

Do you mind inter party conflict cause I'd love to flank you from behind.

[nintendoh]

Your eyes sparkle more then any dragon's hoard.

Are you a mind flayer cause you just blew my mind.

Hey hunni, i have a magic missle for you.

I dont know if your into this but i have evards black tentacles for every single slot... Extended

[Rubik]

Are you a mind flayer cause you just blew my mind."Do I look like an illithid hooker to you?"

[Afgncaap5]

Come on, guys. Non-sexual pick up jokes; keep it clean.

"Well, looks like I won't be acting next round, because baby, you're stunning."

Heh. Okay, I think that one's my favorite of the bunch so far.

"I'm gonna fall to zero hit points next round, baby, because you're takin' my breath away."

[Rubik]

"Give me a minute. Where're my books? I need to look up the grapple rules."

[Draconium]

"Are you the Upper Planes? 'Cause you're obviously an angel."


I dont know if your into this but i have evards black tentacles for every single slot... Extended

Urgh... pass the brain bleach, I need to forget I saw that.

[nintendoh]

Urgh... pass the brain bleach, I need to forget I saw that.[/QUOTE]

I feel... Victorious for some reason. Probably the tentacles.

[Vaern]

A few random ones I tossed at her earlier tonight:

"Did you take a level of paladin? 'Cause you're looking lawful good today."

"I thought you were a Beholder for a second... You have beauty in your eyes."

[Seto]

A few random ones I tossed at her earlier tonight:

"Did you take a level of paladin? 'Cause you're looking lawful good today."

"I thought you were a Beholder for a second... You have beauty in your eyes."

Haha, those are good ! :D

"Wow, your Shape is lookin' Wild !"

"Tell me, where did you get that Cloak of Charisma ?"

"I don't need Detect Magic to know your eyes have a (Strong) Enchantment aura"

"Crap, what's the duration of [Summon Planar Ally] again ?"

"Your eyes are like gemstones (if she's blonde, "your hair is like woven gold"), the dragon whose hoard you stole is gonna be mad !"

"You must be a Cleric, 'cause one look from you brings me back to positive HPs !"

Then a really bad one : "Wow, you look Aboleth-ly (absolutely) fantastic !"

On the less clean side (but sorry, I couldn't help) : "I've fallen under your Charm Person, now you can Dominate me".

[Vaern]

"Did someone cast Phantasmal Killer on me? Because you are drop-dead gorgeous."

And, I don't remember how exactly, but she set me up perfectly earlier for this old classic...
"On a scale from 1 to 10, you're a natural 20."

[Rubik]

"Is that a 10' pole in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?"

[Inevitability]

"Is that a 10' pole in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?"

[a friendly reminder that the intended recipient of those pick-up lines is female]

[Rubik]

[a friendly reminder that the intended recipient of those pick-up lines is female]And not all of us are straight. Or male.

[Draco_Lord]

"Is that a 10' pole in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?"

Old, old line. But this needs some kind of retort about actually being a ladder broken down. I just can't think of a good reply.

[Inevitability]

And not all of us are straight. Or male.

I know. It's just that this specific situation as described in the OP talks about a female recipient.

[Rubik]

I know. It's just that this specific situation as described in the OP talks about a female recipient.Irony? whitetext

[elonin]

Are you sure you aren't a succubus? Cause I'm willing to handle the level drain.

Can't remember the one about friendly contact with an evil outsider.