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View Full Version : Gamer Humor The Quest for Knowledge



Kira_the_5th
2015-10-20, 09:25 PM
After days of travel, a labyrinthine Dwarven outpost riddled with hidden corridors, and that terrible plant monster that spread hallucinogenic spores, you have finally made to the goal of your quest. Your patron had sent you off to recover some writing on the walls. What your patron had not mentioned, however, was the sheer enormity of what was written here. Scrawled upon the walls in every language you know, every language you don't know, and still more languages that range from long extinct to not yet invented, are words that line the walls of this chamber. All of them read the same perilous warning; "DO NOT PULL THE LEVER: IT WILL END THE UNIVERSE!" In the center of the room, sitting untouched upon a great pedestal, is a simple, unassuming lever.

What does your party do?

Tiri
2015-10-21, 11:17 AM
I don't know about the other characters, but mine would be rightly afraid of the universe ending and probably be shouting at the fighter not to pull it. The fighter being the one who always does things like that.

shadow_archmagi
2015-10-21, 03:03 PM
Half the party immediately rolls for initiative to attack the other half of the party and subdue them before they reach the lever.

Once Steve is tied up, we start tearing up the pedestal and seeing what mechanisms its attached to and how exactly it could end the universe.

Honest Tiefling
2015-10-21, 03:07 PM
Dissemble the lever and pedestal to determine how it works and how to weaponize this.

Draconium
2015-10-21, 03:12 PM
Probably pull the lever before even noticing any of the words. Then (if the universe's end isn't immediate), as the rest of the party gazes on in horror, I'd at them and ask "What?" At which point I'd notice the words and realize just how badly I screwed up. :smalltongue:

Lvl 2 Expert
2015-10-22, 04:21 AM
Well, better Nate than lever...

Lord Raziere
2015-10-22, 05:06 AM
After days of travel, a labyrinthine Dwarven outpost riddled with hidden corridors, and that terrible plant monster that spread hallucinogenic spores, you have finally made to the goal of your quest. Your patron had sent you off to recover some writing on the walls. What your patron had not mentioned, however, was the sheer enormity of what was written here. Scrawled upon the walls in every language you know, every language you don't know, and still more languages that range from long extinct to not yet invented, are words that line the walls of this chamber. All of them read the same perilous warning; "DO NOT PULL THE LEVER: IT WILL END THE UNIVERSE!" In the center of the room, sitting untouched upon a great pedestal, is a simple, unassuming lever.

What does your party do?

Mine? uh.... Well lets see:
The two snarky cyborgs: "oh, because that isn't set up to be tempting at all! Why didn't they just dismantle it?"
The idealistic scientist husband: "why would you even BUILD that!?"
The arrogant bio-organic killing machine: "I bet its just some prank to screw with our heads. No one can actually make a lever to destroy the universe thats impossible, so they just made a prank lever then left it here for people to trigger. I bet if I touch it, it won't even do anything."
The two alien brothers: "not touching it."
angry alien warrior wife: ".....this is the STUPIDEST thing I ever seen."
naive eldritch abomination girl: "better heed its advice. No one would put a sign up like that for it to be disobeyed! thanks for the warning."
four-armed alien warrior girl: ".....so are we going to find a way to make sure no one pulls this lever just to be on the safe side or what?"

They then probably figure out how the machine the level is connected to works and destroy it.

Beowulf DW
2015-10-22, 07:50 PM
So, after our party decided not to pull the lever (hi, Kira!) we got down to why we were there to begin with. We had to take rubbings of all the runes and take them back to a green dragon that will kill us if we're not back within a certain time frame.

New question: should we inform a green dragon about a potentially world-ending lever?

JBPuffin
2015-10-22, 08:01 PM
We push the button instead.

Aetol
2015-10-22, 08:28 PM
Well, better Nate than lever...

So I'm not the only one who thought of this. :smallbiggrin:

Sredni Vashtar
2015-10-22, 08:49 PM
I'd pull the lever. Who knows? I might survive it. And the last guy I know who survived the end of the universe (at the time) became Galactus, and that hat is something else.

Inevitability
2015-10-23, 04:47 AM
From an out-of-game perspective, I'd suspect the GM of still having the party be under the influence of the aforementioned hallucinations.

Still, IC I wouldn't touch that lever. No possible reward could be great enough to balance the risk of destroying the universe. Still, it would make for a good place to remember in case things get screwed up to the point that destroying the universe is the only real option.

Lord Torath
2015-10-23, 07:53 AM
So, after our party decided not to pull the lever (hi, Kira!) we got down to why we were there to begin with. We had to take rubbings of all the runes and take them back to a green dragon that will kill us if we're not back within a certain time frame.

New question: should we inform a green dragon about a potentially world-ending lever?Depends on how much the green dragon values the universe and his continued existence. Are green dragons still Selfish Evil? He (or she) would likely want the universe to continue (Some of my best evilness took place here! (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0442.html)), and the beast may even move its lair to the room with the lever, just to better protect it. If you have the means, you may want to be certain the dragon is who it says it is. A green dragon can probably be trusted to be selfish enough to want to go on existing. A demon, devil, or daemon disguised as a green dragon cannot be. Trusted, that is. Your green dragon will also probably be willing to keep the whole thing a secret, lest any death/apocalypse cults get wind of the thing.

Edit: Watch out for people with vision (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0533398/quotes) (second set of quotes).