Artificer Disneyland?

[Uhtred]

So my DM gave my Artificer (whose only practical limitation is money, the endless stream of +1 items we've looted in various encounters supercharges my crafting reservoir) a million gp worth of jewelry that my artificer promptly repaired and sold across various markets under various names and through various shell organizations, and so now is sitting on an enormous pile of money.
That he is using to build Disneyland in his hometown, which is a bustling trade port. It began as a Punching Zoo, where visitors could see constructs cleverly disguised as various animals and (for a fee) punch the crap out of them, although various animals (the velociraptors and kangaroos, to name a couple) could punch back, and he made a fair amount of coin. The attraction expanded to include a cheesy Jungle Cruise-esque attraction in a warehouse, using illusions and constructs to make visitors believe they were actually on a jungle river seeing various animals, and naturally made a fair amount of money with that, too.
Then the campaign ended. And for six months I wondered what would have happened with an Artificer, a million gold, and a tremendous amount of influence in a city. Then the DM announced he was setting a new campaign in the same universe, and that any of us who wanted to bring our characters back could do so and at a higher level, since a number of years had passed since the old campaign ended. So I asked if, in the intervening years, my Artificer could have invested that million in creating a legitimate theme park/casino/resort out of the cheesy warehouse attractions he started with, and IT HAS BEEN APPROVED. And therefore, Iorek's RiverQuest SafariVenture Funland Resort and Casino has been born, and has been verified as being a massive source of economy and revenue for the city.
So here's the fun part: Coming up with attractions for the park! So what sort of attractions would a high-level Artificer with no limitation on money, time, or xp create in a world of high fantasy? Haunted house with actual bound spirits and undead in addition to illusory terrain? It's a Small World with homunculi dressed in the garb of the nations of the world? Rollercoasters powered by storm elementals? Ideas?

[Inevitability]

Bungeejumping with no cord, only an use-activated item of feather fall. For safety, the feather fall effect automatically kicks in a few meters above the ground.

Reverse gravity could be fun to play around with.

For younger children; a merry-go-round (with dragons and the like as seats) with Haunt Shift used to make it move. Because there is no fun like fun made possible by denying the wrathful dead their rest, is there?

[Jack_Simth]

Upgraded from constructs in disguises to periodic activation, automatic reset magic device traps of Summon Nature's Ally spells (and permanent Magic Mouths with integrated Speak with Animals telling them not to do anything back). These ones bleed when you hit them, and there's no need for repair of the ones that take damage.

Haunted House handled by automatic reset, periodic activation, magic device traps of Summon Undead spells (likewise with permanent Magic Mouth spells for orders).

Transportation around the park handled by Teleportation Circles (Permanent, of course)

Simulacrums of famous people for photo ops... complete with automatic reset magic device traps of Fabricate (or perhaps True Creation) to take the pictures.

Roller Coasters via Reverse Gravity or Levitate lift (Again: Automatic Reset Magic Device Trap; Reverse Gravity also handles water rides by having a zone where water flows uphill; there will still be some loss, of course, but a single Decanter of Endless Water takes care of it).

Snacks via Minor Creation traps (automatic reset magic device traps, again), meals via Automatic Reset Magic Device Traps of Heroes' Feast

[Reprimand]

Teacups sitting on hovering platforms made from Tenser's floating disk

One of the most iconic rides in disneyland

[Tvtyrant]

Upgraded from constructs in disguises to periodic activation, automatic reset magic device traps of Summon Nature's Ally spells (and permanent Magic Mouths with integrated Speak with Animals telling them not to do anything back). These ones bleed when you hit them, and there's no need for repair of the ones that take damage.

Haunted House handled by automatic reset, periodic activation, magic device traps of Summon Undead spells (likewise with permanent Magic Mouth spells for orders).

Transportation around the park handled by Teleportation Circles (Permanent, of course)

Simulacrums of famous people for photo ops... complete with automatic reset magic device traps of Fabricate (or perhaps True Creation) to take the pictures.

Roller Coasters via Reverse Gravity or Levitate lift (Again: Automatic Reset Magic Device Trap; Reverse Gravity also handles water rides by having a zone where water flows uphill; there will still be some loss, of course, but a single Decanter of Endless Water takes care of it).

Snacks via Minor Creation traps (automatic reset magic device traps, again), meals via Automatic Reset Magic Device Traps of Heroes' Feast

Are you suggesting having actual undead and dangerous monsters floating around a theme park? Jeez, I hope no one with any mind control powers shows up...

I would just get some people and put hats of disguise on them. Ghosts and shadows would be hat of disguised flyers (raptorans probably, or winged elfs) and the monsters would be hat o' disguised Goliaths. Much less likely to turn into a massacre, and cheap.

For the vehicles and rides I would just make some permanent animated objects and have them roll around. Maybe put hats of disguise on them too, make them look like dragons or whatever.

[Jack_Simth]

Are you suggesting having actual undead and dangerous monsters floating around a theme park? Jeez, I hope no one with any mind control powers shows up...

I would just get some people and put hats of disguise on them. Ghosts and shadows would be hat of disguised flyers (raptorans probably, or winged elfs) and the monsters would be hat o' disguised Goliaths. Much less likely to turn into a massacre, and cheap.
Summons are 100% obedient per the description of the spells that bring them. If you like, you can make mind control of them impossible by way of (Un)Hallow (which grants a Magic Circle agianst [Alignment] effect, which in turn grants Protection From [Alignment], which stops mind control cold). But then, there's spells and domains out there for controlling constructs, too.

[Honest Tiefling]

Well, I imagine flight would be popular. Because most people don't get to fly for 10 sp. Also, I think games such as polo with dinosaurs and flame jets would be quite popular. They don't have to be real, but that'd be a pretty fun sport to watch. Perhaps even let people ride the 'creatures'. Waterbreathing would make underwater rides possible, and quite enjoyable.

Also, keep in mind that Disneyland also makes money off of other things, such as hotels. You need some restaurants and taverns! You have methods to make ice in a society that very likely doesn't have refrigeration. If you can teleport, you can also entertain your guests with the finest foods from around the world that are actually fresh!

[Rubik]

Make a lot of the games challenges, such as placing rings along the sides of the various buildings, and if someone affected by the resetting Fly trap on one side of the park can find and fly through all the rings in a certain time, they get a small prize.

Have some resetting traps of Plane Shift programmed to send the target to an extra-large Supernatural Spell'd Sanctum Shades demiplane with laser-tag type guns that they can use to hunt the denizens of the plane, which are intelligent illusions. If set up properly, visitors can feel like they're in one of those rail shooter games (without the rails). Everything from a Jurassic Park dino-hunt to a Castlevania or Metroid adventure. Lower the gravity of the plane so the visitor gets super-jumps, and provide other "power ups" in the form of specialized resetting traps of various spells shaped like guns and whatnot. Make the demiplane fast-time, so you can send people through one-after-another, and they leave only seconds later. Depending on what the visitor agrees to, the adventure can take anywhere from an hour to a week, with the visitor playing the hero in his own real-life video game. There would, of course, be a command-word item that will Plane Shift the visitor out, which has Contingencies for emergencies, and you can hire someone to keep an eye on things in a control room and change things up as the adventure progresses to keep it fresh for repeat visitors.

[MortalSword]

The sky is the limit. Just off the top of my head.

Drop of fear-esque ride with anti-gravity.

Graveyard surrounded by permanent magic circle against evil spells with free roaming undead. Users carry magic items (sanctuary comes to mind) to protect them or make them invisible to undead. Or guided tours with a cleric of moderate levels that can either turn or command undead. Or make a path with permanent protections in place.

SNA 1-9 for riding normally wild animals.

Rogue acrobatic shows enhanced with magical items. Combat cage/Fight Club anyone can fight anyone with nonlethal weapons. Clerics on standby in case of accidents.

Golem arm wrestling competitions. Homoculus to as high as you can create. Bigger prizes for bigger golems.

Unseen servants in the scare house to slam doors. Basically resetting traps can make for endless illusions and shenanigans.

Small portal to the elemental plane of water slides. Or resetting grease slides. Illusions of the slide breaking ahead of you for added heart attacks (>_<) lol Make it every X amount of people so it really catches them off guard. Maybe even as little as once or twice a day.

The list goes on. Basically look at the spell lists, ask yourself how you can use it in a resetting trap or permanent manner and make it fun.

[ben-zayb]

No mention of Programmed Image and Animated Object (Theater) for 3D movies? That should be a thing.

Remote-Controlled Giant-Robot Tournament: inside an arena, made from Wall of Force, using an improved version of that item that controls constructs.

[nedz]

Reverse Gravity to power a water chute.

Self resetting traps of Silent Image to create a shooting gallery.

Extensive use of Mirage Arcana to create a look and feel, can be changed daily for themes. The duration is long enough here so that one casting should last a day.

[Uhtred]

He also has the Bind Elemental feat, so a lightning railroad around the park is definitely a thing. The arena idea has probably been implemented as well, although it's Pokemon style, where you can pit your choice of summoned creatures, elementals, or constructs against one another with the winner of each day's brackets going up against the reigning champ, a Clockwork Dragon illusioned to look like an Elder Red. :)

[Telonius]

Complementary Packmate homunculus provided to all guests upon arrival. (Helps with carrying their luggage).

"Tomorrowland" exhibit where everyone is riding on flying horses, and a mythical object called a "resetting trap" is distributing food to the whole country.

Log Flume ride powered by eternal wands of Control Water. (Kids in line can drop in a copper piece to blast riders with wands of Control Water).

[SangoProduction]

I'm gonna keep an eye on this. k

[Uhtred]

Complementary Packmate homunculus provided to all guests upon arrival. (Helps with carrying their luggage).

"Tomorrowland" exhibit where everyone is riding on flying horses, and a mythical object called a "resetting trap" is distributing food to the whole country.

Log Flume ride powered by eternal wands of Control Water. (Kids in line can drop in a copper piece to blast riders with wands of Control Water).

The Packmates are available at no additional cost to PREMIUM passholders. Everyone else pays a nominal cost, same as they would to rent a hoverchair (powered by air elementals) or Strollers of Holding (Holds your kids AND your purchases, still only ever weighs 25 pounds.) The Log Flume definitely has bound water elementals and storm elementals for the drops. Bound Omnielementals and various illusions provide the "Fireworks" show at night. And the Tomorrowland exhibits are sponsored by GE (Gnome Engineers) who finally have a showcase for all of their steampunk technology.

[Inevitability]

As for the food courts; some ideas for food are:

-Goodberries, for those who want a quick meal or need food that can be easily taken with them.
-A Heroes' Feast if anyone wants a more expensive option.
-Estanna's Stew might be interesting to serve.

About that stew; I just saw it actually damages undead it hits. How about having a number of undead wander around in a small area, with visitors throwing stew at them from above? Call it 'Stew for Skeletons' or something.

[Uhtred]

As for the food courts; some ideas for food are:

-Goodberries, for those who want a quick meal or need food that can be easily taken with them.
-A Heroes' Feast if anyone wants a more expensive option.
-Estanna's Stew might be interesting to serve.

About that stew; I just saw it actually damages undead it hits. How about having a number of undead wander around in a small area, with visitors throwing stew at them from above? Call it 'Stew for Skeletons' or something.

One of our random encounters involved us striking a "purple drank" geyser, which my entrepreneurial spirit led me to bottle from the source and sell for 2gp/chilled bottle in the park under the label of "Iorek's Razzle Dazzle Purple," which has become a huge success and, now dissected with an Alchemist's Flask into its component ingredients is replicated alchemically by park alchemists. 3cp/bottle of sales go to the party member who stumbled upon the geyser, which probably actually nets him a tidy sum quarterly. I was thinking several Murlynd's Spoons + Prestidigitation + Goodberry was the park's signature dessert, served frozen a la Dole Whip at Disneyland.
That stew sounds hilarious. I had never even heard of it before now.
And yes, Heroes' Feast is available, again, at a discounted rate to Premium Passholders, and at a still not-unheard of cost for regular ticketholders.
I don't think we'll follow Disney in making our Premium Pass 1000gp, but man, the magical perks are awesome if you have one.

[Crazysaneman]

Look here for some AMAZING ideas. I have a whole campaign designed to send adventurers out to find this place. http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?318311-Netherese-Enclave-Crazyland