Playground in the Playground

[FireFox]

I probably should deadtime now, unless you have anything serious you want to do. Alex just stays here with Hannah until she's ready to go then...?

[Quinsar]

I could have something planned..>.>

[FireFox]

You could... but do you?

[Quinsar]

If you want....>.>

[FireFox]

That doesn't...
Eh, I'm fine on fightings/plots for now though...

[Quinsar]

A huge bat flies out, t'wards Hannah!

[FireFox]

Alex tenses and sprints towards the thing, trying to intercept it.

[Quinsar]

It's fast, but he can get in front of it...

[FireFox]

He tries to quickdraw his sword and kill it.

[Quinsar]

It dies.
Hannah giggles.

[FireFox]

Blegh... so much crap to deal with...

Alex looks around carefully, then goes over to Hannah. Maybe we should go home... I don't think it's safe here.

[Quinsar]

Okay da!:smallbiggrin:

[FireFox]

He picks her up, then goes home.

[Quinsar]

She's taken.

[Rebonack]

Aahh the Playground in the Playground. The entrance to so many strange and whacky adventures, to be sure. As the party approaches the fake plastic cave that looms in the middle of the field right across from the jungle-gym they will no doubt spot a large group of children playing freeze tag with a want of Ghoul Touch.

What more would you expect from children around the Nexus?

Should any venture down into the cave they will find secondary passages leading off in all directions. Each marked with a letter.

"We're going to want D for Dungeons," Zee comments as she heads inside. "Does everyone have proper adventuring gear ready?"

Amusingly enough this isn't the first time Magtok has been down here. Got a cool thought control ray out of his last trip.

[Beans]

Ukulele, trench-dirk... ah, almost forgot. He draws three things from his pocket: A necklace of human teeth, a bracelet of human finger-bones, and another bracelet of banshee ((we're talkin' Terry Pratchett-type banshee)) talons.
Gotta have my unsettling apparel. He dons the necklace and bracelets.

[Darkcomet]

I've got my sword and myself. It's all I usually need, really. Though the sword can double as a light, if need be.

Deren shrugs.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok refills the Pex dispenser built into his pinky, makes sure his KEY is fully loaded, and makes sure the MagMobile, which is currently parked just outside the Playground, is locked and safe from would-be thieves.

I'm about as ready as I'll ever be, which isn't that prepared, in all honesty.

[Beans]

Apples flexes... something, and the sickle-spurs extend from his heels with a soft click. He retracts them again.
Ready as you are.

[Rebonack]

"That's really gross," Avatar feels compelled to point out. At present she's clad in her typical attire as opposed to the combat armor as one might expect of someone getting ready to delve into the depths of a place that has 'Doom' as part of its name.

Usually such locals have such names for rather fitting reasons.

"I've got everything I need. Which isn't that much, frankly. Provisions and some various equipment..." she's looking through acorns in her pockets... "It might be useful to know what everyone can do, too. I've got some martial arts tricks and some blaster-y skills. And I can heal out of combat if the need arises."

Too slow to heal people when being attacked by monsters.

"So... I guess that's everyone-" who won't be magically poofed into the party later on due to not posting just yet, "So let's see where door number dee leads us! Hopefully to adventure!"

Through the door Zee goes!

...

On the other side are more doors. Each with the name of some cave or ruin or long forgotten catacomb. After a few minutes of searching they should come upon a door marked:


Dungeons of Doom, The

"Eerr... To adventure for real this time?" she then pushes that door open as well. And as it is opened the Narrator waxes poetic.

Ages ago the amulet of Yendor was hidden deep within the dungeons of doom. It... isn't really clear what the amulet does, or what's it's for, or why anyone in their right mind would risk their life to get it. But people still trek down into those doom filled dungeons none the less.



Maybe it's more of the journey rather than the destination. Truth be told many have made quite the fortune failing to find the amulet. Either way, this expedition will be just one of many. Many that have failed, that is. Usually failed in a fashion that involves gratuitous amounts of death, dismemberment, and being petrified because someone forgot to put on gloves when they picked up the cockatrice corpse.

Clearly enough, this will be a dungeon crawl of sorts. A rather zany dungeon crawl no less. But such things usually are. Especially when you consider who created this sprawling labyrinth. If the tales are to be believed it is the work of none other than Prancibald.

The Wizard Who Did It.

So expect strange and inexplicable things. Expect magic mouths and dancing lights to call attention to not particularly well hidden secret doors. And above all expect utterly Random Encounter™s.

Our adventure begins in a wide grassy meadow. The sort that usually has a pleasant breeze blowing through it with a few rocks scattered here and there. A few trees are off in the distance and the dusty path the party had walked down to reach this point is plainly in view.

Who knows where the party met. Probably swallowed an adventuring hook at a nearby tavern or something. Or maybe they had heard about the place while dwelling in some far off land and decided to check things out. Regardless of the reason they're now standing in front of a door.

It isn't a terribly large door. Though it is terribly peculiar. Mainly because it's just sitting there in the middle of the field for no readily apparent reason. To make the situation even stranger is the fact that a large flashing sign above the door reads as follows: 'Dungeons of Doom: Entrance'. Behind the door is more field. Inside the door is a staircase leading down into the inky bowels of the dungeon.

Upon being opened a magic mouth will be triggered.

"Welcome to the secret entrance of the Dungeons of Doom™! You are thusly welcomed to these dungeons! Please keep in mind that by crossing this threshold you agree to the terms and license as outlined in the Dungeons of Doom™ pamphlet in your back pocket. You hereby take all responsibility and wave Wizard Who Did It Inc for liability in regards to any bodily harm, transformation, or insanity that you experience while within the Dungeons of Doom™. Wizard Who Did It Inc is not responsible for lost, damaged, or eaten equipment. The Dungeons of Doom™ is an official Safelight® certified dungeon crawl and as such offers complimentary lighting services in its facilities."

"Children under the age of fifteen are not admitted to the Dungeons of Doom. If you are pregnant, about to become pregnant, or the product of a pregnancy the Dungeons of Doom may be hazardous to your continued existence. Side effects to proper use of the Dungeons of Doom™ include, but are not limited to: puncture wounds, petrifying, random transmutation, spontaneous immolation, explosive flatulence, disintegrating flu, desiccation, malnourishment, mastication, life-force draining, and mild cases of death. If you experience any of these symptoms please see your cleric immediately."

"The Dungeons of Doom™ are a service of Wizard Who Did It Inc, all rights reserved, all reserves copied, all copies written, all writs extended, all extensions extendable."

[Beans]

If abilities are asked for, I'm a skald---not a bard. Bards are magicky, I'm psiony. I can influence minds with my song---or crack skulls with my instrument or slit a throat or two with my trench-dirk. Years of bar-brawls make for a good spot of practice. But I'm the last one you'd ask for healing.
He follows Zee.

[Darkcomet]

Deren sighs.

This is getting weirder by the minute...

[Beans]

Disclaimers for a dungeon? What is this?

[Rebonack]

"Okay, psion bard and a disgruntled ghost-guy with a sword, gotcha," Avatar notes as she peeks down the stairway. Look like she isn't quite ready to go stumbling down there just yet. Oddly enough the passage is nicely lit by a number of hovering orbs of soft white light. Looks like the magic mouth wasn't kidding about the free illumination.

At Apple's inquiry she just laughs. "This is the Nexus. Welcome to crazy-land."

Looks like she isn't going down first this time around.

Might just be stalling to give others time to post.

[Beans]

I suppose I'll go first.
Apples advances to take a careful step forward...
((Deadtime.))

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva walks into the playground, looking around. A dungeon in a playground? Why did I listen to that crazy?

[Rebonack]

Silva's wandering will lead her rather inexplicably right to the party's present location at the threshold to the Dungeons of Doom. For whatever odd reason the liability waiver is repeated to her.

Zee waves as well.

Just not in a legal sense. "Oh! Hiya! Nice to see you again! We're just about ready to head inside."

[KerfuffleMach2]

Ok. I gotta ask. Was it some crazy old guy that told you about this?

[Darkcomet]

Deren looks at Silva.

Yes. I just came because it sounded interesting, and it's something to do, at the very least.

He shrugs.

[Rebonack]

"Sure was! Though he seemed more like a Mysterious Old Sage to me," Zee points out as she follows Apples down the stairs into the Dungeons proper. "Random Old Men tend to have knobbly sticks and bigger beards. They also lack cloaks of plot-hooks."

As the party descends the ancient stone steps said steps soon give way to soft-wood paneling. Instead of a scent of stale air the smells of a bakery begin to waft up to meet their noses.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Odd change of scenery.

[Darkcomet]

A... Bakery? What the hell?

Deren is quite obviously rather confused. And annoyed.

[Rebonack]

Yep.

A bakery all right.

The party comes down a flight of stairs on the southern end of the room. Before them stands numerous shelves decked with baked goods of all imaginable kinds. At the opposite end of the room stands a baker. One can tell he's a baker due to the apron, flour spots, and his ridiculously tall chef hat.

As in a good three feet tall.

He stands behind a counter next to a cash register and eyes the party members warily. "You have come to hear of today's specials?"

There are two wide arched doorways on the West side of the room in addition to a third, smaller door to the East.

[The Bushranger]

Meanwhile another figure starts its way down into the DoD...

http://public2.tektek.org/img/av/0811/d20/1416/0b1b81.png

I swear, the first thing I'll do, is kill all the lawyers... Shrike mutters under her breath.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva gives the baker a slightly confused look, then looks over at Zee. So, what exactly are we doing here?

[Darkcomet]

Deren says nothing, merely staring in disbelief.

[Rebonack]

Shrike will be finding herself in the same pleasant bakery setting as well pretty quickly.

"We're looking for an amulet so some deranged cultists don't get it and end the world," Zee explains to Silva. Unfortunately the baker behind the counter seems to think that was addressed to him.

"We sell no amulets here! Only pastries! And bread!" he hoists up a long French roll and menaces at the party with it. "Fresh bread! For low low prices!"

[KerfuffleMach2]

Uh-huh. She glances at the bread wielding baker, then back to Zee. And supposedly it's here?

And then she's stuck upside the head by deadtime. That punk.

[The Bushranger]

Shrike pauses in the doorway.
If you could see through her dark glasses, you'd be able to see that she was blinking.

...A baker who wants to end the world with a loaf of French bread?


BR wonders if the Swedish Chef will be the next encounter...

[Darkcomet]

Once Shrike arrives, Deren waves at her, then looks back to the baker.

What's a bakery doing in a "dungeon of doom"?

Complete with air quotes.

[Rebonack]

"Probably not here specifically," Zee comments as she picks up a cookie out of a bowl on a nearby shelf and begins munching on it. "This is just the first floor of the dungeon. Who knows how many we'll have to adventure our way through before we get close to the amulet?"

The baker narrows his eyes.

Then twirls his mustache a bit.

Then Shrike barges in and catches half the conversation. Zee blinks at her. "Eerr... No? I think he's just a normal-"

"Fresh cookies are fourteen platinum shoe laces each! Not silver, the rolls can smell the difference!"

"-mostly normal baker..."

At Deren's question the baker pipes up again. "People get hungry! One never knows when a supply of freshly baked pastries can spell the difference between victory and doom! Doughnuts are just one soul for a baker's dozen!"

[The Bushranger]

Shrike nods back to Deren, then rolls her eyes at the baker proving Zee's statement wrong in mid-sentence.
Platinum shoelaces, you say? Sorry, but I left all of mine back on Beta Alpha Omicron IV...

[Beans]

Platinum shoelaces.
Apples digs around in his pockets.
I have... snapped steel ukulele strings. Not, I suppose, close enough.

[Darkcomet]

Deren facepalms.

All in favor of ignoring the mad baker, say "Aye"!

[Beans]

Aye. Let's just hope he doesn't start saying "Bork bork bork."
((Deadtime.))

[Rebonack]

The baker may end up saying something significantly more dangerous than 'bork bork bork'. But that remains to be seen.

Avatar pulls off her non-existent hat and begins rummaging through it. And before long she comes up with... "I've got some bronze shoe-laces... Would that work?" she dangles the metallic strings in the air for the baker to see.

The baker's eyes narrow dangerously. "You must also provide a regular geometric solid with twenty faces!"

"Eerr... Like a dee twenty? Okay, I think I have a few..." into the hat goes her hand and then out it comes with a clear blue plastic twenty-sided die. The baker lowers his head, sticking the end of his suddenly significantly longer (taller?) hat right in Zee's face.

Balanced atop it is a piggy bank.

She sticks the stuff inside.

"Thank you for your business!" the baker comments with a rather fowl frown. "Is there anything else you would like to purchase today?"

Zee bites her lip and glances at the other party members for suggestions.

[Beans]

I'll speak for myself and say that my needs are already met. Anyone else?
((Deadtime.))

[Darkcomet]

Same.

He wouldn't mind getting something to eat, but he does not trust the baker.

[Rebonack]

Thankfully Zee has some supplies with her for the purpose of food stuffs. She eyes the baker warily for a few moments before glancing at the various exits out of this particular room. "So, what do you guys think? Left or right?"

Off to the right a mechanical chugging sound can be heard where as the sounds of a crackling fire come from the left.

[Beans]

((Ugh. Sorry. Deadtime.))

[Darkcomet]

I'll check out the room to the right.

Deren turns incorporeal.

Hopefully, there's nothing in there that can harm me.

He starts heading to the right, though if someone wants to yell out to stop him or something like that, they can.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok turns to the baker, disregarding the warnings and suspicions of the rest of the party. The man seems harmless enough, if a little confused as to what his baked goods are worth.

Since they're not getting anything, could I get a roll and maybe some pie, blueberry, if there's money left over?

[Rebonack]

Deren floats off through the East passage!

He finds himself in a winding corridor meandering to the north-east. The walls are lined with shelves of all kinds which are in turn loaded down with baking ingredients of all kinds. Flour. Sugar. Salt. Yeast. Various dried fruits. Chocolate. Anything one could image in a bakery seems to be accounted for here. The sound of mechanical chugging grows louder the further he goes.

Back in the entry room, the baker reaches up onto the shelf and produces a perfectly normal, if delicious looking, roll for the cyborg to snack on. Soon to be followed by a blue-berry pie. Both are set on the counter. "This will cost you four (4) pieces of CANDY CORN," the man intones in a rather dire voice.

Zee shrugs and begins to inspect the various BAKED GOODS that stock the shelves in the main room. Looks like she isn't hurrying after Deren just yet.

[Darkcomet]

Deren keeps going.

Something's off about this place...

[Rebonack]

That's a rather spectacular understatement.

Since Deren is the only one heading off down the hall at the moment we'll continue, if briefly. He'll pass through a wide chamber filled with various URNS that contain MYSTERIOUS FLUIDS of some kind. Also of note is a second passage leading off to the West and a pair of stroke oaken double doors on the East wall of the chamber. The chugging sounds seem to be emanating from behind the doors.

[Darkcomet]

Deren will attempt to poke his incorporeal head through the doors leading to the source of the noise.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok sighs, and pulls out the required candy out from his hat hood.

Your food better be worth its price, mister.

And with that, he'll take his baked snacks, tuck them away into an extra-dimensional pocket, and follow after Deren, assuming nothing happens along the way.

[Beans]

Apples also goes off after Deren.

[The Bushranger]

Shrike shrugs off a particuarly nasty deadtime ooze...

Thanks, but I'm not hungry. She raises an eyebrow at Zee. Are you sure he's mostly harmless?
Her fingers twitch...

[KerfuffleMach2]

And Silva undeadtimes. She stayed quiet during the whole baker banter. She has what she needs.

She'll follow Apples, staying behind enough to see if the rest follow too.

[Rebonack]

"Our food is always worth the price of one's first born child!" the baker bellows as the party files off. He shouts after them, "That section is employees only!"

Though he makes no move to stop them. Zee shrugs and follows along as well. Magtok adds a ROLL and a BLUE-BERRY PIE to his inventory whilst the mad baker takes his CANDY CORN.

Deren will find a set of massive MIXING BOWLS being seen to by equally massive dough golems. The dough golems seem to be making other dough golems. Every time one is finished an older golem plods off through the double doors and down the West passage from the small chamber filled with URNS.

This means the doors have to be opened. Some strange, mysterious FORCE will suddenly fasten Deren in place whilst the door is shoved open, ramming his hind-end into the wall. As soon as the party is close enough to view this gratuitously humiliating sight the mysterious FORCE will free him.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva smirks at Deren's misfortune.

[The Bushranger]

The FORCE is with him!

Humour aside, I don't think this is just your average baker shop, Shrike observes, flexing her hands. Little sparks are jumping across her knuckles.

[Darkcomet]

Ow...

Deren phases through the door, standing back up.

That was... Strange.

[Rebonack]

"Was your first clue the insane baker or-" Zee pauses momentarily to step out of the way of the dough golem that trudges by. "-or the giant humanoids that are made out of pre-baked pastry crust? I dunno about you guys, but I'm not sure if I want to go waltzing past the clerk out front again if we can avoid it."

She glances off down the West passage that the golem is plodding along. Then decides to check out some of the URNS filled with mysterious FLUIDS.

...

She sticks her finger in one and then stuffs it in her mouth. "Mmm! Molasses! I wonder if they make ginger-bread golems here, tee hee!"

[KerfuffleMach2]

These things are kinda creepy. She watches the golems work. What's the points of having a dough golem anyways?

[Darkcomet]

That's what I was wondering...

Deren doesn't seem too embarrassed. Mostly since he's not good at recognizing the emotions of others, since he hadn't spoken to many people at all before I introduced him or after... Certain backstory events.

[The Bushranger]

How about 'all of the above'? is Shrike's response to Zee. And tasting that was probably bad. For all you know it's poisoned.

[Rebonack]

"I would imagine that dough mixing itself would save on labor costs," Zee suggest as she peeks inside another URN, this one full of extra virgin olive oil. "And I don't need to worry so much; I'm pretty resistant to poisons."

Since her body adapts to them faster than they can harm her most of the time.

Soon another dough golem trudges out of the mixing room and wanders off down the hallway. Wonder where they might be going? Standing around here certainly won't be helping the party to find any access points to the next level down in the Dungeons of Doom!

[KerfuffleMach2]

So, who's for following the walking cakes?

[Darkcomet]

Deren pulls out a bladeless sword hilt.

Fine by me. Like they'll be able to harm me. :smallamused:

[Beans]

I second that.

[The Bushranger]

You're on.
Shrike grins.

[Rebonack]

"Sounds like we're following the Pillsbury dough boy then!" Zee declares triumphantly before tromping off after the golem.

The hallway is long.

Very long.

About ten feet wide and bearing barrels to either side. Barrels filled with bread of various kinds. All of it looks to be freshly baked. Wonder why it's all stored in here like that...

After a good hundred and fifty feet or so the party will stumble upon a massive BUST of Gene Rodenberry. The marble BUST is rendered with exquisite detail and fills the whole corridor with its magnificence. The BUST is too large to squeeze around.

Zee blinks a few times. "Eerr..."

[KerfuffleMach2]

That's...different. Silva looks at the BUST for a moment. Can anybody break marble?

[Darkcomet]

That... Bwuh?

Deren is completely confused.

[Rebonack]

"I probably could," Zee comments with a shrug. "Though it would take a while to smash a hole through something that big. I could try dissolving a hole through it as well. Or we could just try pushing it. Maybe there's a secret switch that makes it move? The dough boys have to get through here somehow."

The BUST continues to be a marvelously crafted impediment to the party's progression.

[Beans]

Perhaps there's some small crack that dough can... flow through?

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva starts looking around the barrels, if they're still here.

If not, she starts looking at the wall.

Then she deadtimes.

[Darkcomet]

Deren incorporealizes and attempts to go through it.

And then he deadtimes too.

[Rebonack]

"That might be it," Zee nods in agreement. Sure enough there's an inch or so of clearance around the edge of the BUST. Wider in some places. Though far too small for a human to squeeze through.

Deren has no trouble passing through the BUST. He'll find a rater sizable chamber beyond containing a fair number of gigantic OVENS. The dough golems seem to be busy carving themselves up and stuffing themselves into the OVENS for cooking. The whole room smells strongly of baking bread. There's a closed oaken door on the West side of the room and an arched entryway on the South wall.

There's also a raised metal platform in the floor with a hinged trap-door over it. Wonder what that might be for? Looks like it might be locked, though. The door to this chamber has been left open, no doubt by the absent-minded golem that didn't notice the SIGN which reads:


Please Keep the Door Closed
-The Chief Chef

Another passageway leads South from the doorway.

As the party searches they will eventually find a small iron SLOT in the wall that looks like it might have once contained a LEVER. A SIGN above the SLOT reads:


BUST release switch. Pull for BUST removal.

[Darkcomet]

Deren heads back through the BUST.

The golems seem to be... Cooking themselves.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok glances at the lever, and then attempts to pull the thing.

[Rebonack]

Sadly Magtok seems to have missed the fact that the iron SLOT no longer contains a LEVER. No doubt it was removed to facilitate some weird puzzle antics. As such the BUST removal isn't activated.

"The golems are baking themselves? I guess that makes sense... sort of..." Avatar doesn't sound completely convinced, though. "Well, what do you guys think? Keep hunting around until we find the missing lever or head back to the lobby and try the other passage? If the latter then we would have to deal with that crazy baker again."

Life has many tough choices after all.

The Omnicient Narrator points out that it may be wise to SEARCH rooms that appear to be otherwise empty. One never knows when one might find hidden passages or items. Or a jar full of centipedes.

[KerfuffleMach2]

What if I try using this as a lever substitute? Silva holds up her weapon, which kind of looks like a dagger, except the blade is a little thicker than it should be.

[Darkcomet]

Go ahead. I just know I'm not going to phase through any more doors.

Deren shudders.

[Rebonack]

There are many ways to instill fear into players. Inanimate objects that assault them is certainly one means.

"I guess you could give it a shot," Zee shrugs in response to the woman's suggestion. "I'm sure it wouldn't put us in a situation worse than we're already in."

Clearly she doesn't know that one never says such words on a dungeon crawl.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva walks over to the SLOT and slides her weapon in, trying to see if she can catch whatever the LEVER was connected to. If she can find it, she'll pull it back. Or forward. Or whichever way the LEVER was supposed to go.

[Darkcomet]

Deren waits to see if Silva's successful.

[Rebonack]

The tip of the dagger fits into a hole in the SLOT. However it won't go in far enough to provide sufficient leverage to pull the LEVER down. Since down is apparently the way one pulls it.

This failed attempt to activate the mechanism causes a BOX OF CENTIPEDES to drop out of the ceiling on top of Silva's head.

"Eeee!" would be Zee's reply to centipedes all over the place. She also jumps back a bit for good measure.

[The Bushranger]

Shrike facepalms at Zee's declaration, and watches as well.

Then pulls out her sword when the centipedes appear...

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva sighs. Then she attempts to light the box and the centipedes on fire. Carefully, so she doesn't burn anybody else in the process.

[Rebonack]

Wonder if anyone likes eating broiled bugs...

Zee wrinkles her nose at the smell, not at all keen on the scent of burnt centipede. "Okay... I guess that leaves us with heading back then? Unless we feel like searching all these barrels and boxes and stuff for missing levers."

It doesn't sound like Zee thinks that's the best of ideas.

[The Bushranger]

Wonder if electricity would do anything to the latch? Shrike wonders absently.

Of course, it might just be because she just wants to fry something...

[KerfuffleMach2]

Those dough golems could be a good choice for random frying. Silva wouldn't mind baking a few.

Heading back it is, then. And Silva will go with the group to wherever they go.

[Rebonack]

Back to the room of URNS filled with mysterious FLUIDS!

Away!

The party tromps back through the hallway past the loafs and rolls and buns and other various types of bread until they arrive at the URN room in question. Perhaps much to their surprise they'll find an unconscious woman in blood-stained armor sitting there in the middle of the floor.

Huh.

Wonder where she came from?

[KerfuffleMach2]

That's unexpected. Silva will go to the woman and check for a pulse. Finding one, she'll see if she can wake the woman.

[The Bushranger]

Shrike raises an eyebrow, standing back, hand on her SWORD.
Unexpected. And ominous, I'd say. Maybe she's evil or something.
And then there can be FRYING!

[Rebonack]

The mighty Omniscient Narrator deems that she can be carried until her player returns to take control of her. Probably some time tomorrow. Never know how these things will work out, really.

"She looks less evil and more out of it to me," Zee comments, having now SWORD to put her hand on since she really only uses those tonfa of hers as far as weapons go. "And she doesn't fit the bakery theme. I'm willing to bet she's and adventurer that got lost down here."

[KerfuffleMach2]

Sounds likely to me. Silva turns back to face the others. Think we should take her with us? At least till she wakes up?

[The Bushranger]

Shrike shrugs.
'Long as I get to say I Told You So if she turns out to be not-nice, then, I've got no problem with it.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Don't hold your breath. Silva will then go to pick up the woman and carry her over her shoulder.

And then she deadtimes.

[Je dit Viola]

The girl wakes up. Ummm....hello? Who are you, and why are you carrying me? Speaking of questions...where are we?


{Hello! It's nice to be in a plot. I won't be able to be on every day, so I'll contribute when I'm on, 'kay?}

and she deadtimes until later.

[Rebonack]

"We're in the Dungeons of Doom. Apparently on a bakery themed floor," Avatar comments rather matter of factly to the woman as the party heads back to the lobby. As soon as they walk in they'll find themselves being ogled by the rather insane baker.

"Lemon scones only one whale pelvis each!" the man screeches at the various adventurers. "Cream-puffs for one teen-aged girl's personal diary!"

Zee's presently headed for the arched doorways on the West side of the room.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva will put down the girl. Name's Silva. We found you passed out here, and we couldn't leave you here.

She'll follow Zee through the doorways.

[Darkcomet]

Deren follows Zee as well.

[Rebonack]

The insane baker continues to rant at the party as they file through the archways to the West side of the chamber. They soon find themselves in a hallway lined with shelves upon shelves of cookies. Cookies of all imaginable kinds. And before long they stumble upon yet another impasse.

Before the party stands a massive BUST of Isaac Asimov. The regale rendering of the science-fiction writer towers above the adventurers and completely blocks their path forward. Though this time they're in luck! Nearby is another iron SLOT in the wall, this one containing an intact LEVER! However, unlike the last SLOT there is no SIGN to betray the LEVER's purpose.

Zee slaps her forehead. "Not another one..."

[The Bushranger]

Shrike nods in greeting to Silva, introducing herself.

...and then facepalms, herself, at the lever.

She raises an arm.

I vote we blast this one to start with.

[Darkcomet]

I'll check out what's behind it.

Deren turns incorporeal and tries to see what's behind the BUST.

[KerfuffleMach2]

I second the blasting vote. Silva's left arm becomes engulfed in flames, but she waits for Deren to return. Anybody wanna try this lever? I did the last one.

[Rebonack]

Deren will find that the hallway continues on for a great distance, several hundred feet at least. All lined in cookie shelves. Though when he tries to move back out he'll find that once again a powerful FORCE has sealed him inside the BUST! Oh no! He can't escape!

"I guess we could blow it up. Or I could just try pulling the lever," Zee ponders. "I would say try the lever first. If that doesn't work then we blow the rock up."

[Darkcomet]

Hey! Get me out of here!

Deren yells ineffectually from inside the BUST.

[The Bushranger]

Oh, forcryinoutloud...I can fry him too, right?

[KerfuffleMach2]

Hey, Deren, are you still incorporeal? Cause if you are, our attacks should go right through you.

[Darkcomet]

Yeah, I'm just stuck!

He doesn't seem to realize how embarrassing this is.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Alright, well, I guess we should try the lever first. It might free him. She nods at Zee, saying she's fine with the lever being pulled.

[Rebonack]

"Alright. Here goes nothing!"

And with that Zee pulls the BUST removal LEVER.

There was a sign. It had just fallen on the floor behind a SHELF and no one has bothered SEARCHING. As soon as the LEVER is pulled three things happen at once. First, the mysterious FORCE dissipates. Second, the BUST vanishes in a flash of white light. And finally, all busts within ten feet are removed.

Which means the women in the party are suddenly flat-chested, though otherwise unharmed.

Another SIGN pops into existence below the iron SLOT which reads:


BUST addition LEVER. Pull in case BUST addition is required.

Zee blinks a few times upon registering that her shirt feels loose all of a sudden. Then looks down and, "Eeeeeeeeee!"

[Darkcomet]

Deren runs away from where the BUST was.

He shakes his head.

This is the craziest dungeon I've ever seen...

[The Bushranger]

Shrike looks down at herself.

Up at Zee.

Back down again.

Then back up again.

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just fry you now. She pauses. Two good reasons...

[KerfuffleMach2]

Seeing Zee's reaction, Silva looks down herself. And starts yelling. What the hell!? I'm gonna kill whoever decided to make that! And both her arms are on fire now. In her current state, she doesn't notice the new sign.

[Darkcomet]

Deren looks at the sign and blinks.

Oh hell...

Deren turns around and starts running away from where the BUST was.

[Rebonack]

Somewhere in the cosmos a wizened old man in a kick-ass skull-cap laughs at the antics playing out in his Dungeon. That thing was so worth the five minutes it took to create.

Back in the Dungeons of Doom Zee decides that it would be in her best interest to provide some good reasons why she shouldn't be toasted. "Well... The sign says bust addition now. So... We should be able to fix this, right? And... In party fighting never makes anything better?"

Zee coughs.

"Maybe we should look on the other side before we do anything? Just in case there's a lever on both sides?"

[Darkcomet]

Deren looks back.

I'll be waiting waaay over here while you fix that.

Mostly because he thinks he knows what that thing would do if they pulled it again with him nearby.

[The Bushranger]

Alright, but if there isn't... Shrike shakes her head and crosses her arms.

...

Then scowls mightily.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Still looking pissed, Silva goes to look for this other possible lever. Her arms still on fire.

[Rebonack]

"Hey, it didn't turn us all into guys or anything," Zee laughs at Deren. "You would just have to get some new shirts."

Sure enough!

On the other side is an iron SLOT marked with a SIGN just like the other. However there isn't any LEVER to be pulled.

Zee blinks a few times at the empty SLOT. "Eerr..." she seems worried. Wonder why?

[The Bushranger]

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Literally.

Shrike eyes the LEVER SLOT without LEVER with a distinct air of unamusedness
Alright. Do I want to know?

[Darkcomet]

Deren looks back.

And even I know how humiliating that would be!

Then he deadtimes.

[KerfuffleMach2]

So, where are these levers then? In one of these barrels? How about we just burn them all and find out?

And then she deadtimes.

[Rebonack]

Zee rubs the back of her head sheepishly. "Well... Maybe the lever in the wall comes out?" she offers. Might be worth a shot at least. What's the worst that could happen?

Besides having CENTIPEDES dropped on one's head?

"And... I don't know if burning all the shelves and boxes and stuff is a good idea. The building is wooden too. I would rather not burn to death in a bakery whilst none of us are in any real danger."

A pause.

"Aside from the danger of men suddenly having nothing to focus their attention on. They might look us in the face!"

[The Bushranger]

Shrike pauses.
Then actually starts giggling.

We wouldn't know what to do then, would we?

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok decides to join Deren.

Yeah, I'm going way the hell over there, too. Breast of luck, gals.

And with that, the villain scurries away faster, knowing full well how an awful pun like that is punished in these parts.

[Rebonack]

As PUNishment one of the SHELVES stocked with COOKIES falls over as Magtok scurries past, trapping him within range of the humiliating effects of the LEVER. If he feels like keeping his pride he's going to have to ask someone for help.

Zee heads over to the LEVER and tries tugging on it.

No luck.

Then unscrewing the thing. That works quite a bit better. She carries the LEVER over to the empty SLOT and fixes it back in once more. "Okay, everyone who doesn't want a bust had better back up."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok panics, and not being one to suffer quietly, he immediately shouts loudly upon hearing Zee's warning.

Hey wait, no! I'm stuck, don't do it yet!

[The Bushranger]

Shrike puts her hands on her hips and raises an eyebrow at Magtok.
Sorry, looks like you're going to have something to get off your chest.

She then nods to Zee...

[Rebonack]

Avatar pauses as Magtok begins yelling.

What?

She isn't mean and spiteful. What do you expect?

"I'll give you a hand, Magtok," and with that she heads over to the downed cyborg and begins prying the SHELF off of him. Of course, this leaves the LEVER completely unguarded in case someone who is spiteful feels like throwing it.

[Beans]

Apples coughs, being sure to keep away from any bust-additionary fields.
Riga preserve us.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok breathes a sigh of relief.

Thanks, Zee. I'm going to have enough trouble avoiding the upcoming GB week as it is.

[Rebonack]

"Gee bee week?" Avatar asks with a quirked eyebrow as she heads back to the LEVER and pulls it. The BUST pops back into existence. In addition any nearby chests gain a bust as well. Zee gives a bit of a sigh now that her shirt fits properly again. She unscrews the LEVER and places it in her HAT.

Zee has added a LEVER to her inventory!

"From now on the guys are going to pull any bust removal levers," she suggests.

[Beans]

Apples feels a distinct lack of bulge or voluptuousness.
Well, on we go? Or are we going to wait around for more mammary-related devices?

[Rebonack]

"I think moving on would be a good idea," Zee agrees. "Hopefully we won't run into that awful pun again because it would get really stale really fast."

Then she glares a bit at the momentous BUST behind the party. And with that she heads onward! Should the party continue on down the hall they'll soon come upon a strange blue googly eyed creature that's presently busy gorging itself on the cookies. As they draw near it turns to them in a jerky motion, its pupils rolling about on its eyes as if they were affixed by little more than a bit of string.

The fuzzy blue menace hisses.

[Darkcomet]

Before they move on:

Deren walks back over to the group.

Don't care, just keep me away from the ones that add them.

After:

The hell is that?

[Lord Magtok]

Gender Bender week. It's a long, awful, and unpleasant story. It mostly consists of me running in terror from everyone the week after Valentine's in order to avoid a gender shift for the duration of that time.

Magtok dusts himself off, and cringes as GB Week-related nightmares come flying back. He then proceeds to back the hell away from the lil' guy.

[Beans]

Apples holds empty hands out to his sides in a gesture of peace.
Confection-devourer, speak unto us: What is the letter of this day?
Don't ask where I got this. He adds to his companions.

[Rebonack]

"I think it's a-" Zee begins, only to be interrupted when the monster suddenly shrieks at the party members, "Cee is for cookie, and that's good enough for me!"

And with that it hurls itself at the nearest unfortunate party member. Which happens to be Magtok. Could have sworn he was near the back, but apparently the universe doesn't like him. The vile monster will attempt to seize the cyborg and swallow him whole.

[Beans]

Apples steps back, whips out his trench-dirk, and snarls.
C is for cuts---now unhand the 'borg!

[Lord Magtok]

The blue menace succeeds, much to Lord Maggy's great dismay.

Aaaugh! Why?! Why is it always meeee?!

[Beans]

Bloody blue embuggerance!
Apples takes a stab at the azure horror.

[Rebonack]

The cookie monster is thusly stabbed. Its felt-based guts spew open, releasing a torrent of cookie crumbs and one disheveled cyborg. Apparently killing it wasn't dreadfully difficult.

The corpse suddenly vanishes in a poof of white smoke, leaving only a pair of GOOGLY EYES behind.

Zee rubs the back of her head awkwardly. "That was... easy. And really strange."

[Beans]

Apples could say "How's that for a Letter of the Day?" or "Eat that!" or some such punny pun.
He doesn't.
Stomping on the eyes, he offers a hand to pull Magtok up.

((Deadtime))

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok however, is already sick of being helped, and declines the hand, opting instead to bring himself up, whilst grumbling quietly.

Damn Muppet...

[Rebonack]

Zee decides that now would be a good time to suggest to Magtok that, "Maybe you should try to stick around the middle of the party. It seems like... things have it out for you."

This is a true statement!

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok decides to do so, and for added security, pulls a "I'm deadtimed" sign from a pocket, and hangs it along his neck.

Of course, he isn't deadtimed, not yet, but they don't know that.

[Rebonack]

After the Narrator fights with his computer for a while to restore the file the bakery map was on the party can set off once again down the cookie hall! Before long they come upon a fork in the hallway.

The passage continues on to the West, though it also branches off to the North and South. The South passage abruptly ends with a rather strong looking OAK DOOR. It's probably pretty solid. From behind the door comes the sound of heated debate.

[The Bushranger]

((Grrr...missed it!))

Shrike, feeling relieved to be completely female again - and havinvg pause to make sure she got back entirely what she lost - resheathes her sword after the cookie Monster is defeated.
Alternatively, I could just go ahead and lop off his head now and save them all the trouble? she teases Magtok...

And, now, she spots a FORK in the PATH.
There's a DOOR.
With VOICES behind it.

There's only one thing to be done!

Shrike draws her SWORD.
Walks over to the DOOR.
And sticks the SWORD into the LOCK rather FIRMLY.
Discharging ELECTRICITY into it for good measure.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva undeadtimes, and immediately checks herself. She seems relieved to be back to normal.

She watches Shrike do her thing. Mostly because she doesn't have any other ideas.

[Beans]

Shocking things into submission's actually a pretty good idea. Beating people unconscious with a pint mug works too.

[Rebonack]

And thus Shrike zaps the lock on the door!

This causes nothing of any real interest to happen. Zee quirks an eyebrow at her.

The voices behind the door pause for a moment.

[Darkcomet]

Deren scowls.

Before anyone asks, I am not going on recon again. I learned my lesson after the first two times.

[KerfuffleMach2]

...so, did you unlock it? Silva asks kind of quietly, noticing the voices stopped.

[The Bushranger]

...no.
Shrike sighs and steps back.
A fat lotta nothin' happened. You try.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva takes a moment to examine the door.

Are the hinges on this side?

What kind of lock is it?

[Je dit Viola]

The girl who has not said her name yet, and is currently filling out scholarship information, undeadtimes, glad that she's not a guy.

While checking, she says Hi, my name's Jeanne. for everyone else to know, so I can shorten it whenever she talks.

[The Bushranger]

The black-clad, dark-glasses-wearing, sword-totin' redhead nods to her. Call me Shrike. Glad to have you along.

[Je dit Viola]

The blood-stained armor wearing, abnormally-large bangs-that-are-obviously-hiding-something-'d Jeanne says Glad to have me along too, a lot better than being nowhere.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva, another red head, looks up at Jeanne. Name's Silva. You any good with locks?

[Rebonack]

"Oh! You're awake! Welcome to the party. We've got fun and games," Zee laughs as the previously dead-timed woman comes around.

Zee bites her lip.

"Eerr... I guess I'll open it then..." and thus she reaches down to turn the knob and...

The door is pulled open and Zee is bopped on the head with a giant novelty spatula.

"Erk!" and down she goes in a heap.

The chef wielding the utensil jumps back. "Oh dear! I'm sorry, I thought you were a rogue dough golem!"

The room appears to be a large KITCHEN where in FOOD of various kinds is prepared. It looks to be stocked to create things other than just BAKED GOODS. Stoves, ovens, cabinets filled with various ingredients and the like.

Inside is a largish CARD TABLE around which two other chefs are standing. There's another OAKEN DOOR on the West side of the room.

[Je dit Viola]

If I could remember, then I would say either 'yes' or 'how thick is the door', but I can't remember, so I wouldn't say that. she says.
Oh...ninja'd by the narrator...will say something soon.
What do you think is on that table? She walks toward the CARD TABLE..

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva will see about reviving Zee.

[Darkcomet]

Deren merely looks around the room for anything particularly suspicious.

[The Bushranger]

Shrike follows Jeanne into the room, heading for the kitchen.
We're the exterminators. Don't mind us. Nothing to see here.

[Rebonack]

Move along?

And no, there really isn't anything in the room that seems terribly out of place apart from the giant novelty utensils. The various chefs watch the adventurers cautiously. "We haven't been able to control those golems for ages," one chef pipes up. "And Terry seems to have gone utterly mad. He's the only one who can direct them now."

That totally sounds like a quest.

As for the CARD TABLE it probably shouldn't be too much of a surprise that it has a set of PLAYING CARDS on it in addition to some various BEVERAGES.

As Zee is shaken she mutters something about candy corn.

[KerfuffleMach2]

I'm guessing you guys want help with that, then?

[Je dit Viola]

Yes, I am so in the mood for killing and eating dough golems. Sounds fun! she says by the CARD TABLE.

So...how do we do it?

[The Bushranger]

Would 'Terry' be the man in the, shall we say, entrance boutique selling pastries for very odd amounts?

[Je dit Viola]

By the way you ask that question, it would seem fairly obvious you already know the answer, Jeanne says blandly.

[Rebonack]

"What? The clerk? Oh heavens, no! That's Sven," one of the chefs pipes up. "Though he's mad as well. I do hope none of you ate anything he was selling. That would be quite disastrous."

Cue Zee, who had eaten a cookie, saying, "I don't feel so good..."

...

Her stomach is noticeably bulging.

This draws the attention of the chefs all at once. "Oh no! There's a dough golem rising inside her! She must be slain quickly!"

No doubt this will grow unpleasant in a hurry.

[Je dit Viola]

Of course we have to slay her! Only slain people can kill other people! she says with marked sarcasm. Then slides out her sword and runs next to Zee, facing the chefs.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Zee, can you do anything to get it out? Even if you have to puke it up?

[Je dit Viola]

Eeew...puke. Maybe we should kill her. she says half-jokingly. Or is she?

[The Bushranger]

We're not killing any of our own.
Shrike's own sword is out, and electricity's crackling around her wrist and up her arm...

[Je dit Viola]

Oh. She looks put out.

Well...at least I can kill some of those chefs. A gleam comes in her eye.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva looks over at Shrike. Hey, put that away. Calm down. They haven't made any moves yet.

[Rebonack]

"Well, it looks like we'll be fighting a dough golem then," the chefs sigh as they retrieve their various novelty utensils.

Zee screams in pain moments before her entire upper body bursts. Eew...

Standing in the midst of the mess is a rapidly growing being composed completely out of chocolate chip cookie dough. It burbles menacingly at the party.

[Je dit Viola]

Mmmmm! Chocolate chip! This is going to be delicious. She runs up and tries to take a bite out of it.

If that fails, or if it suceeds, she'll try to hit it with her sword.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Not good. Both of Silva's arms burst into flames as she draws her weapon, which looked like a dagger at first, but now is a flame sword. Which she uses on the golem.

[Je dit Viola]

Jeanne decides that the best time to deadtime is while eating a chocolate chip golum, and when it becomes impossible to spell simple words, so Jeanne deadtimes.

[Rebonack]

She... wants to take a bite... Out of something that just exploded out of someone's torso because it had been eaten?

...okay.

As Jeanne draws near the golem hauls back to swat her away with its chocolate-chip studded arm. Ouch! The nasty thing is cloven into by the woman's sword, however. That seems to work a bit better than gnawing on the magical confection beast.

The fire-sword has much the same effect. Though in addition to slashing the dough golem is partly baked. Its movements become a bit more sluggish...

Zee's body, meanwhile, seems to have caught alight with strange opalescent white flames. Spooky.

[Darkcomet]

Deren activates his flame-sword and slashes at the dough golem.

[Beans]

Zee! Oh, you've done it now, doughboy.
Apples advances, trench-dirk out.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Making sure nobody is near the golem, Silva blasts it with massive amounts of fire.

[Je dit Viola]

She... wants to take a bite... Out of something that just exploded out of someone's torso because it had been eaten?

...okay.
She just 'happened' to not pay attention to the part where the thing came out.

Jeanne, noticing that the eating won't work right now, charges back in and tries to kick it with her left leg while still slashing. Die, so I can eat you!

The (covered) gem on her forehead starts to glow red...but doesn't do anything except make her sword also glow red. Which doesn't do anything. Mostly for future reference.

Then she says (for fun) Where's the hot milk when you need it? to emphasize attacking the chocolate-chip cookie monster.

[Rebonack]

When in doubt, use fire.

When in danger, use more fire.

The golem is baked amazingly well by the plethora of various fire attacks hurled into it. In fact... It's baked a little too much. Oh no! The golem has been burnt! Now the room smells like scorched cookie. Gross.

Zee, meanwhile, has burned away, leaving a trio of bouncing bobbing spinning dream-orbs in her place. Two go rocketing off through the walls whilst the last gradually resolves into an odd little two foot (sans tail) long otherworldly chimeric critter. For those who haven't run across the description before...

Something fuzzy on the top and scaly on the bottom.

Something with ashen gray fur with a strange opalescent sheen. Something with midnight black scales that are strangely translucent. Something covered in brilliant white sigils that crawl over its body. Something that looks like a strange cross between eagle and wolf and serpent.

Six legs with two pairs of forelimbs. Six feathered wings black as the depths of space and full of eyes within and without. And an inky ebony tail with a cute little yellow ribbon tied at the end.

Around her head a little halo of dream motes slowly rotates.

It drops to the floor with an "Uhf!"

One of the chefs pokes at the chimera with a giant novelty ladle.

[Je dit Viola]

Oh no. The cookies burnt. But what's that thing? It looks kinda cute, but kinda gross. What should we do with it? says Jeanne.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva shoots a ferocious look to the chef poking the chimera. Stop that. Now.

She looks back to Jeanne with a much softer expression. I think we should take it with has. It's connected to Zee somehow.

[Darkcomet]

I think we need to get it into contact with the other floating things. I've seen this before.

At Taverna, of course.

[Je dit Viola]

How do we capture the other orbs? Can they pop, or can we grab them?

[The Bushranger]

Shrike, who no doubt contributed electricity to the baking of the dough golem, shakes her head to clear it as the deadtime haze fades away.

[Rebonack]

The corpse of the golem vanishes in a poof of white smoke, leaving behind four GOLD ZORDUNK(s) and a giant CHOCOLATE CHIP. It's probably some kind of currency or something used in the Dungeons of Doom. The ZORDUNK(s), anyway. The CHOCOLATE CHIP will probably be used for crazy puzzle stuff at some point.

No doubt the rest of Zee will be found around the dungeon somewhere later down the road. Probably after Rebo has decided that she has been 'dead' long enough.

Anywho, the chimera makes some irritated chattering noises at the fellow whose busy doing the poking. The man quickly decides to focus his attention on other things. Like the various adventurers.

"So brave adventurers. Will you help us restore this bakery to its proper use?" asks one.
"We'll be able to reward you handsomely," the second adds.
"With provisions and riches alike," the third agrees.

[KerfuffleMach2]

So who should hold the stuff?

Then she answers the chefs. Yeah. I guess. Which way should we go?

[Je dit Viola]

Sure, I'll help you. Fix the bakery, that is. She shrugs her shoulders and deadtimes...

[KerfuffleMach2]

And suddenly Silva deadtimes.

[The Bushranger]

Riches? Now you're talkin'
The redheaded mercenary grins.
Count me in.

[Darkcomet]

Oh hell, why not?

Deren seems... Oddly excited. Not like him, really.

[Rebonack]

"Well... You might try the oven room if you can get in," one baker suggests.
"Or Terry's chambers. Though he keeps changing the layout of the bakery. We aren't sure where it is any longer," the second sighs.
"But you had best hurry, whatever you do. Time isn't on your side," the third urges.

The Far-chimera yawns and begins scratching her ear with her hind foot.

[Beans]

Apples kneels down next to the chimaera.
Zee? Is that... you?

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva undeadtimes. She crouches down next to the chimera. Hey. Can I call you Zee? Also, are you gonna come with us?

[Rebonack]

Two posts. About time. The Narrator waggles a finger at those who are online and not paying attention.

>_>

The chimeric critter just nods. Probably because she has already learned that talking when she's like this can cause... issues...

The various chefs watch the party members curiously. Wondering what they're going to do next no doubt.

[The Bushranger]

Well, then, if you'd point the way to the oven room, then the smiting shall commence. Shrike flexes her fists with a unsettling grin, electricity crackling across her knuckles.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva stands back up and waits for directions.

[Darkcomet]

Deren nods.

What she said.

[Rebonack]

The Narrator points out that Deren already found the oven room. The only thing they were missing was a way to get rid of the BUST that was in the way. Good thing the LEVER that Zee had picked up is now sitting on the ground in front of that creepily adorable chimera.

"As we have said, the layout of the bakery changes. We aren't certain of the oven room's location," one of the chefs explains.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva sighs a little. Figures. Just couldn't be easy.

[The Bushranger]

Shrike pauses, then spots the lever, and remembers.
Hm, I think I might know. Somebody grab that lever and let's move out.

[Darkcomet]

I think I found that room once, but if the layout shifts, then it won't be there now. So let's just look around until we find it.

Deren sighs. He smells another recon mission coming.

Or maybe it's just the bakery.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva will go to grab the lever.

And she'll hand it to Shrike, because she has to deadtime.

[Rebonack]

"Oh no, the baker shifts every few days. It just isn't safe for us to venture out," one of the chefs explains. "If you've found the proper room already finding it again should be easy enough."

The chimera will chatter cheerfully and bounce along after the party once they get around to heading off.

[Darkcomet]

Deren nods, and will lead the party back to the oven room, provided they don't hit another snag.

[The Bushranger]

Shrike takes the lever, and will hand it to Deren once they reach the room.
I think you should do this, considering what happened last time we tried removing a bust.

[Darkcomet]

Deren nods.

Right. I'd recommend you back off to a fair distance now.

[Rebonack]

The party arrives at the obtrusive BUST of Gene Roddenberry without any trouble, trekking through the bowls of the bakery and finding themselves verbally accosted by the mad clerk in the lobby on their way past.

As the party assembles for the removal of the BUST the chimera bouncing up behind Shrike and seeks to climb onto her shoulder.

[The Bushranger]

The climbing will be successful, Shrike being sure to be wayyyyyyyy over there. :smalltongue:

Hit it. She turns her head to smirk at her new shoulder-perched pet. You're not a parrot, but I guess you'll have to do...

[Darkcomet]

Once no females are within de-busting range, Deren will insert the lever and pull.

[Rebonack]

Deren inserts the LEVER into the iron SLOT and pulls it.

There's a loud *VVVVORP!* noise and the BUST is gone, thus allowing the party to follow the sounds of roaring flames into the dreaded oven room.

The teeny chimera chatters happily. Hooray!

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva was definitely over with Shrike during that. Yes she was.

She will follow into the next room, glad nothing happened that time.

[Rebonack]

Waaaaay over there is a good place for anyone of the female persuasion to be when around BUST removal LEVERs, it would seem.

With the hindering BUST out of the way the party is free to continue on their deadly quest to find the vile being that has this otherwise innocent bakery clasped tight in his no doubt equally vile clutches.

And so it won't be long before the party reaches the oven room.

Within are the ovens, of course mentioned before. And aside from said ovens are enough bread golems to make any partaker of the Atkin's diet turn white with stark terror. Also of note are the other entrances.

A flight of stairs heading down with a steel GRATE locked over them. Another large oaken door on the West side of the serves a second exit and a tall archway on the southern end of the room the final passage. It appears as though opening the GRATE will require a KEY of the proper kind.

The golems don't appear to have noticed the party as of yet.

[KerfuffleMach2]

The fourth wall may cry slightly as Silva gets a Zelda vibe. I get the feeling we're supposed to go down those stairs. So, we have to find a key first. She looks around at the other options. So, anybody got a certain way they wanna go?

[The Bushranger]

Doors are always a good place to start. I guess it'd be too much to ask to find the key in one of the locks...
Shrike heads over to investigate the OAKEN DOOR.

[Rebonack]

The Narrator throws something heavy at the two people who aren't posting. And for good measure something at the servers as well.

The oaken door seems to be unlocked, as the knob jiggles generously when Shrike begins fiddling with it.

The various bread golems continue whatever ineffable task they're going about. Which seems to be chopping each other up into loaves. The Far chimera is presently sitting on the floor and wondering when they'll find the rest of her.

[Darkcomet]

Deren's player did not say anything because he didn't have much else to say that had not already been said.

Well, are we going to go through or not?

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva shrugs at Deren, then looks over at Shrike. So, you gonna open it?

[Je dit Viola]

Jeanne says I vote go through. And attempts an opening of the door. But doesn't go through the doorway.

[The Bushranger]

Well, if you're ready for what lays beyond it...open, says me!

And Shrike opens the door

dun Dun DUN?

[Rebonack]

And so Shrike gives the door a might tug and-!

Huh.

Hmmm...

It's wiggling.

And the knob is clearly loose.

But it won't open.

Maybe there's something jammed behind the door? That could certainly make things irritating. Hopefully it isn't a PAINTING SCAFFOLD, that would be a real bugger to get out of the way.

Perhaps someone else wants to take a crack at it?

[KerfuffleMach2]

Stuck? How about we both pull.

And Silva will walk up and attempt to help Shrike pull it open.

[The Bushranger]

And Shrike will put some extra force into it as well.

If that doesn't work, there's always blowing a hole in it...

[Je dit Viola]

Actually, if that doesn't work, then Jeanne will say *sigh* you are so stupid. Try pushing it, instead of pulling. Then will try to run into it.

If pulling does work, then she will say Cool.

And that's all...until I get back on.

[Beans]

Apples has ceased to exist here; he was (due to the funny business of character duplication) killed elsewhere.
Where he was, there remains...
Some dried meat. Pretty good adventuring rations, really.
A canteen.
A small bag of money.
Some unused ukulele strings.

[Rebonack]

Poor Apples...

He's been slain by the vengeful ghost of continuity.

Once the pair of adventurers put their backs into it the door finally pops open. Seems it was just stuck or something. Beyond them they will find another hallway lined with cases upon cases of doughnuts. Doughnuts of every imaginable variety! They would probably be tasty if not of the fact that they'll probably kill whoever eats them. And no one wants to fight a jelly doughnut golem.

Or at least no one worth mentioning.

Or... Not a hallway.

It ends after about twenty feet.

Seems this is more of a closet. A doughnut closet.

The chimera chatters a bit at the other party members as she begins rooting around amidst the doughnuts. Maybe there's something worth searching for in here?

[Je dit Viola]

Jeanne says Oh, hey, cool! Donuts! I remember...back in the war people used to hide stuff in the donut's holes. Maybe we should check there? Or maybe we have to smash them.

She starts searching/peering inside the holes in the donuts. Then smashes every one with her shoe that doesn't have something in it.

If I smash enough, I'll find something eventually hidden in one.

[Darkcomet]

You do that.

Deren backs off a bit. He doesn't trust this place one bit.

Who can blame him, though, after he got stuck in a BUST and a door, and the food caused a dough golem to grow inside Zee?

[Je dit Viola]

C'mon, it's easy. Just look through the donut's holes, if you don't see anything, smash them.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva starts searching any upper shelves. She doesn't smash the donuts. She just looks around them, maybe move some baskets of them.

[The Bushranger]

Nobody expects the Jelly Doughnut Inquisition?

Shrike rolls her eyes at the doughnuts, but nontheless starts a search as well.

[Rebonack]

Search search search the closet full of pastries!

In the course of stomping on a jelly doughnut Jeanne may notice a KEY suddenly squirt out of the pastry. How did it get in there? Who in their right mind would bake a KEY into a doughnut?

Anyone care to recall that they're dealing with a mad baker?

Yeah.

That would probably explain it.

The chimera chatters triumphantly as soon as the now rather sticky key bounces into sight.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Silva looks around at the source of the noise. And she sees the key.

Unless somebody gets there first, she'll pick it up. Awesome. Back to the stairs?

[The Bushranger]

Ich schlüssel ein Berliner, Shrike quips. Maybe we should check the rest of the doughnuts in case there's treasure in any of them.

[Je dit Viola]

Jeanne notices the key, but allows Sylva to pick it up. Smashing donuts is too fun to care about keys and the like. I'll do whatever happens. Meanwhile, I'll continue crushing these donuts.
She continues looking through the holes and then crushing them, until someone acts.

[Bergett]

Ravik arrives

[Quinsar]

SHe poitns at the large cave...