View Full Version : TPAY/TPBY D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

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2018-10-25, 09:01 AM
You get the pulverized corpse of a green woman.

I insert a can of peaches.

2018-10-25, 10:36 AM
You get a cherry cream pie

I insert a bad knock knock joke

2018-10-25, 11:08 AM
You get a lever with a name tag saying "To: Nate".

I insert a blonde joke book.

2018-10-25, 01:03 PM
You get a giant redwood tree.

I insert Scrooge's money bin.

2018-10-25, 02:31 PM
You get a cease-and-desist letter from Disney.

I insert a Hefty-Nosed Penguin with a bowtie and a strangulated orange tabby cat that keeps going ACK!

2018-10-25, 03:37 PM
You get a faded copy of Alice In Wonderland written in Swedish.

I insert the chopped-up remains of my first born son.

2018-10-25, 08:09 PM
You get a dirty short man who demands you guess his name

I insert an Oozy Rat in a Sanitary Zoo

2018-10-26, 06:52 AM
You get deleveled racecar.

I insert a kayak.

2018-10-26, 07:56 AM
You get Batman.

I insert a nickel.

Dire Moose
2018-10-26, 07:57 AM
You get a torn rotator cuff and a broken elbow. You get POST-STEALING NINJAS!

I insert Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

2018-10-26, 08:24 AM
You get a Rubix Cube.

I insert a copy of every Shrek movie (except for Shrek 3), including the holiday specials.

2018-10-26, 11:16 AM
You get Austin Powers. (YEAH BABY!)

I insert an original DMG, signed by Gary Gygax.

2018-10-26, 11:54 AM
You get the pen he used to sign it.

I insert a sensation of confusion.

2018-10-26, 01:53 PM
You get an M.C. Escher painting.

I insert the impossible: An authorized autographed copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial).

2018-10-26, 09:19 PM
You get screams of terror.

I insert a brain in a jar.

2018-10-26, 10:05 PM
You get a signed copy of a page from Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstien* featuring Igor's line, "Abby Normal or something."

I insert a Beatles album.

Dire Moose
2018-10-26, 10:13 PM
You get a swarm of scarabs.

I insert a spooky ghost.

2018-10-26, 10:36 PM
You get a mile of spider webs.

I insert an invitation to the wedding of R. R. Hood and B. B. Wolf.

2018-10-27, 04:11 AM
You get a crossdressing animal bent on ruining everything

I insert a bottle of Zzzquil

2018-10-27, 10:10 AM
You get a scroll of Inflict Major Allergy.

I insert a gold coin.

5a Violista
2018-10-27, 04:23 PM
You get a chocolate gold coin (the thing you were buying) and your change of 3 silver coins and 17 bronze coins and 3 iron coins and one monopoly bill.

On the other hand, I insert a pokemon card.

2018-10-27, 05:20 PM
You get a scroll of Summon Monster.

I insert a Masterwork Short Bow.

2018-10-27, 06:41 PM
You get a small designer hair bow.

I insert a mint chocolate orange.

2018-10-27, 07:12 PM
You get one silver piece.

I insert :smallwink:

@V: For an emoticon? :smallconfused:

2018-10-27, 08:05 PM
You are quickly arrested for defiling the Vending Machine like that. There has to be mutual consent.

On that note, I insert Crisis21's bail money

@^: specifically a winky face, with no pretext. Wink wink nudge nudge

2018-10-28, 04:32 AM
You get two scrolls of Dimension Door.

I insert a Belt of Healing.

2018-10-28, 08:51 AM
You get a box of band-aids and some bactine.

I insert a handful of charging cables.

2018-10-28, 09:58 AM
You get a selection of rare and valuable spices.

I insert :smallconfused:

2018-10-28, 12:28 PM
You get......you aren't quite sure what you got, but it is wet

I insert a faceless conspiracy theorist

2018-10-28, 01:08 PM
You get a suspiciously blank piece of parchment.

I insert a standard dagger.

2018-10-28, 01:22 PM
You get a loaf of bread cut exactly in the middle.

I insert a ring of protection.

2018-10-28, 07:05 PM
You get 5 shields of varying sizes and materials

I insert a cheap knockoff of a popular item

2018-10-28, 07:20 PM
You get a writer's block.

I insert :smallcool:

2018-10-28, 08:06 PM
You get an old man with large eyebrows asking about "browser history."

I insert a key to this old police box I saw on the corner once.

2018-10-29, 07:29 AM
A box comes out, it has red and blue on its corners and when you touch it, it blares like a police siren.

I insert a tree branch.

2018-10-29, 08:15 AM
You get a very confused gnomish druid.

I insert a really big sword.

2018-10-29, 09:19 AM
You get a really small bow and arrow.

I insert an old joke that everyone knows.

2018-10-29, 12:57 PM
You get an orphaned punchline.

I insert :smalleek:

2018-10-29, 07:47 PM
You get an anti-depressant

I insert the last three posts

2018-10-29, 11:38 PM
You get a really big :smalleek:

I insert a glass vial.

2018-10-30, 02:46 AM
You get a glass file.

I insert a checkered flag.

2018-10-30, 09:59 AM
You get a pirate ship. Prepare to be boarded!

I insert :smalltongue:

2018-10-30, 10:36 AM
You get :smallamused:

I insert a lack of emojis

2018-10-30, 12:09 PM
You get :smalltongue::smallannoyed::smallsmile::smallamuse d::smallfurious::smallmad::smallredface::smallsigh ::smallfrown::smalleek::smallcool::smallyuk::small biggrin::smallwink::smallconfused::wink::tongue::s mile::redface::annoyed::mad::biggrin::frown::eek:: sigh::amused::cool::yuk::confused::furious:

I insert a dictionary.

2018-10-30, 01:59 PM
You get a thesaurus.

I insert a roll of blue painter's tape.

2018-10-30, 04:09 PM
You get a masterful sculpture of an alien made exclusively out of said tape and googly eyes.

I insert a paradox.

2018-10-30, 04:48 PM
You get a pair of dogs

I insert a parakeet

2018-10-30, 07:37 PM
You get a pair of pants.

I insert a paramedic.

2018-10-30, 07:39 PM
You get two kittens.

I insert my credit card to continue.

2018-10-31, 08:13 PM
You get your identity stolen

I insert this identity that I just so happened to obtain just now

2018-10-31, 08:17 PM
I'll take that back, thank you.

(Stupid message board games...)

Okay, this time I insert the "Any" key to continue.

2018-10-31, 09:38 PM
You get an extra life.

I insert a jack-o-lantern filled with candy.

2018-10-31, 11:24 PM
You get a (fake) Christmas Tree, fully decorated.

I insert Straight No Chaser.

2018-10-31, 11:37 PM
You get it back but crooked.

I insert a Superb owl.

2018-11-01, 04:07 AM
You get a Greater Superb Rooster

I insert some KFC extra crispy

2018-11-01, 08:04 AM
You get a pile of what might be chicken bones.

I insert gift wrap.

2018-11-01, 08:58 AM
You get a pumpkin pie.

I insert a Halloween costume.

2018-11-01, 11:09 AM
You hear the words TRICK OR TREAT! before a literal ton of candy is pelted at you

I insert a jack o lantern, a horse, and a skeleton without a skull

2018-11-01, 11:22 AM
You get a donkey with two bas on its sides. The left one has pumpkin seeds. The right one has bone dust.
The donkey has a name tag;it says "Dullahan's little cousin".

I insert a miniature marble tombstone.

2018-11-01, 06:22 PM
You get a mausoleum sized for a Storm Giant.

I insert an iPod from the early 2000s.

2018-11-01, 07:55 PM
You get an apple with a bite taken out of it.

I insert a game of Werewolf.

2018-11-01, 08:24 PM
You get a sparkly, masochistic vampire boy

I insert an overhyped movie that people don't talk about anymore

2018-11-01, 09:15 PM
You get VIP tickets to the premier of the next Star Wars movie.

Okay, so three witches decided to give me a bunch of stuff and I don't know where else to put it, so... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5vZv9ev4kQ)

I insert:

13 Cauldrons Bubbling
12 Coffins Creaking
11 Bats a flying
10 Goblins glowing
9 Ghosts a haunting
8 Mummies waking
7 Werewolves howling
6 Vampires biting
5 Creepy dolls
4 Headless horseman
3 Giant spiders
2 Zombie eyeballs
And some bones from a haunted graveyard

2018-11-02, 06:49 AM
You get a fruit tree with a bird of some kind in it.

I insert two gnomes in a trench coat.

2018-11-02, 08:41 AM
You get a garnet.

I insert a Halfling Diviner with Lucky.

Dire Moose
2018-11-03, 12:47 AM
You get a lot of screaming. Ironically, he had no idea what was going to happen.

I insert {scrubbed}.

2018-11-03, 01:02 AM
You get a restraining order and a £600 fine.

I insert a series of coupon codes for video games.

2018-11-03, 04:11 AM
You get seven cheap knockoff versions of popular videogames

I insert a moldy wheel of cheese

2018-11-03, 02:24 PM
You get an angry mouse.

I insert a large horde of cheese wheels.

2018-11-03, 03:43 PM
You get a black cat.

I insert someone's pancreas.

2018-11-03, 06:33 PM
You get... your own pancreas?

I insert a notebook full of unsolved trig problems.

2018-11-03, 10:05 PM
You get the book back, but with all of the problems solved

I insert a book of brainteasers

2018-11-03, 10:42 PM
You get a jar of Dep.

I insert a comb.

2018-11-04, 01:15 PM
You get freshly combed hair.

I insert a vending machine.

2018-11-04, 01:33 PM
You get a message: Error -- and 1 gold piece.

I insert an electrum piece.

2018-11-04, 02:00 PM
You get a 16 oz. bottle of Spite. No, that's not a typo.

I insert Dr. Wily's obscure cousin: Dr. Wowie.

2018-11-04, 05:02 PM
You get a scroll of Phantasmal Killer, a flying carpet, and 8 miniature robots.

I insert some Boots of Levitation.

2018-11-04, 08:26 PM
You get a set of cement boots

I insert a couple of mob hitmen

Dire Moose
2018-11-05, 05:38 PM
You get a film noir detective looking at you suspiciously.

I insert a penguin with a machine gun.

2018-11-05, 09:53 PM
You get an umbrella.

I insert eight themed super robots.

2018-11-06, 02:32 AM
You receive eight teens in colorful spandex and masks...WITH ATTITUDE!

I insert Stardew Valley.

2018-11-06, 09:37 AM
You get a melon made out of sapphire.

I insert a lack of pants.

2018-11-06, 12:36 PM
You receive a ticket for public nudity, redeemable at any courtroom near you.


Dire Moose
2018-11-06, 10:20 PM
You get She Who Must Not Be Toilet Trained.

I insert a moose.

2018-11-06, 10:52 PM
You get a trampled tourist.

I insert a Mama Bear.

2018-11-07, 09:10 AM
You get Laura Bailey holding a sharp stick.

I insert Matt Mercer's dice.

2018-11-15, 09:00 AM
You get a scroll of Ventriloquism.

I insert a pendant of fireballs.

Dire Moose
2018-11-15, 09:46 AM
You get an explosion.

I insert an angry Dire Badger.

2018-11-15, 05:23 PM
You get a pillow, ripped to shreds.

I insert a coffin sized for a baby.

2018-11-16, 11:01 AM
You receive a container of Chinese takeout.

I insert Stephen Fry's wedding ring.

2018-11-16, 12:10 PM
You get a diamond encrusted onion ring.

I insert Monty Python.

2018-11-16, 12:13 PM
You get back a shrubbery.

I insert a high holy hand grenade.

2018-11-16, 02:54 PM
You get a scroll of Holy Word, and a low voice that says "boom".

I insert a throwing knife.

2018-11-16, 04:36 PM
You get a bowling pin.

I insert 101 Smurfs and an Adult Red Dragon.

2018-11-19, 06:03 AM
You get an Adult Blue Dragon that suspiciously looks like the Adult Red Dragon you inserted.

I insert Boogie Storm

2018-11-19, 11:04 AM
You get the Boogie Fever. You got to boogie down.


I insert the Boogie Man.

Dire Moose
2018-11-19, 12:12 PM
You get a vegan child who is completely unharmed.

I insert a donkey.

2018-11-19, 01:26 PM
You get a spunky hanky panky cranky stinky dinky lanky honky tonky winky wonky donkey, he-haw!

I insert a +5 Vorpal toy rattle

2018-11-19, 11:25 PM
You get a +5 Keen Thundering Binky

I insert the power cosmic

2018-11-20, 09:40 AM
You get a wand that casts Meteor Swarm when used, but has a chance of casting it on your location.

I insert a cloak of invisibility.

2018-11-20, 10:13 AM
You get a Cerberus named Fluffy and the Philosopher's Stone.

I insert a galleon (not the ship, the coin).

2018-11-20, 01:44 PM
You get a pocket sized galleon (not the coin, the ship)

I insert Drawn Together: the Movie

2018-11-20, 01:48 PM
You get an invitation to a costume ball.

I insert Jumanji.

2018-11-21, 03:30 AM
You get a miniature jungle with miniature (But real) animals running around and stuff.

I insert a ring of counterspell.

2018-11-21, 05:43 AM
You get a ring made of spell counters.

I insert a news channel station.

2018-11-21, 12:42 PM
You get Ron Burgundy (Stay Classy, San Diego!)

I insert a Fez.

2018-11-21, 02:15 PM
You get a Pez dispenser.

I insert a dozen Pokeballs.

2018-11-21, 02:54 PM
You get a wand of enslavement, it has 13 charges. It has an engraving that says "Catch 'em all".

I insert a metamagic rod: Quicken.

2018-11-21, 03:01 PM
You get a Rod of Lordly Might

I insert a Ranger/Barbarian Halfing with homicidal tendencies.

2018-11-29, 03:57 PM
You get a perpetually lost Gray Elf Wizard with pacifistic tendencies and a propensity to make random objects explode when left unattended.

I insert five shiny buttons, a needle, and some thread.

2018-11-29, 05:28 PM

I insert the world's biggest plush toy.

Dire Moose
2018-11-30, 10:42 AM
You get the World’s Largest Ball of Twine.

I insert the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D).

2018-11-30, 05:47 PM
You get Tactical Cube 138

I insert a juvenile elephant.

2018-11-30, 07:09 PM
You get a jovial gray haired dwarf playing a trumpet.

I insert an oil lamp.

2018-12-02, 09:11 AM
You get Robin Williams wearing blue face paint

I insert a Fighter/Sorcerer/Rogue and his evil henchmen

2018-12-02, 10:47 AM
You get a needlessly complicated serving plan for a restaurant.

I insert someone's wicked stepmother.

2018-12-02, 12:46 PM
You get the mangled remains of a pirate... looks to be chewed up by a crocodile? And is that... a hook?

I insert a sprinkle of fairy dust.

2018-12-04, 10:23 AM
You get a flying armada of vending machine gnomes who await your command, then realize that they're still enslaved and lose the power of flight as their happy thoughts cease.

I insert a scroll of geas/quest and a vial of liquid fire.

2018-12-04, 02:17 PM
You get flaming geese and a vile scroll.

I insert a clacks tower.

2018-12-04, 10:09 PM
You get a clicking clock

I insert my sanity

2018-12-04, 10:15 PM
You get a tiny fairy screaming "HEY, LISTEN!"

I insert a dozen adorable bunnies.

2018-12-05, 03:09 AM
You get about 12,000 Killer Rabbits.

I insert a Bullymong.

Dire Moose
2018-12-08, 09:37 PM
You get a humongous bullfrog.

I insert Santa Claus.

2018-12-08, 10:49 PM
You get a crab made of sand. (Sandy Claws? Get it? *wheezing laughter*)

I insert a dancing skeleton.

2018-12-09, 12:21 AM
You get fifteen barrels of AB+ blood wine.

I insert a certified dead tarrasque.

2018-12-10, 07:16 PM
You get a paradox.

I insert the Millennium Falcon.

2018-12-10, 08:13 PM
You get the Ebon Hawk.

I insert plot recycling.

2018-12-10, 10:33 PM
You get a copy of The Seven Samurai.

I insert a copy of the Slimarillion.

2018-12-10, 11:33 PM
You get a slip of paper with "eh, who cares" written on it in Elvish.

I insert what shreds of sanity I have left.

2018-12-11, 06:58 AM
You get a bottle of Dwarven Whiskey with a tag that says "Liquid Courage, drink in moderation".

I insert an apple.

2018-12-11, 01:20 PM
You get a restraining order from Doctor Who. You aren't allowed to be within 100 years of him at any point.

I insert a Tresnii

2019-01-07, 01:06 PM
You get a bathtub full of tapioca pudding.

I insert some hot chocolate, a couple marshmallows, and a candy cane.

2019-01-07, 01:17 PM
You get a bathtub full of tapioca pudding.

I insert some hot chocolate, a couple marshmallows, and a candy cane.

You get an animated snowman, screaming in agony as he rapidly melts away no thanks to your offering of hot chocolate. In a matter of minutes, he's reduced to an animated puddle, which is only able to say the word "gurgle".

I insert an mp3 player containing the selected works of Johannes Brahms as performed by the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra and some speakers to listen through.

@v I shall treasure this always

2019-01-07, 02:03 PM
You get the severed head of Bela Bartok.

I insert a clusterchord.

2019-01-09, 09:28 AM
You get autocorrected.

I insert half a pound of powdered staplers.

Dire Moose
2019-01-10, 08:27 AM
You get a heaping bowl of staple sauce.

I insert my annoying brother-in-law and a one-way plane ticket to the South Pole research station.

2019-01-10, 04:17 PM
You get an annoying gnome who's somebody's sister-in-law complete with all sorts of baggage - emotional and physical.

I insert the severed head of Bela Bartok.

2019-01-11, 10:23 AM
You get a broken cello.

I insert the detached body of Bela Bartok.

2019-01-13, 11:24 AM
You get a 1,000 forint note.

I insert a Yugo.

2019-01-13, 02:25 PM
You get a piece of paper detailing the final resting place of Jimmy Hoffa.

I insert a mile of gummie worms.

2019-01-14, 03:36 PM
The vending machine releases a procession of gnome monks, each carrying a single worm, that continues for a mile where they bury the worms in a quiet park space. They return through the vending machine as they came, but one of them drops a scroll on the way back. The scroll details the fundamentals of their beliefs, one such belief being that every worm was somebody's mother in a past life.

I insert a lit cherry bomb.

2019-01-19, 08:51 PM
You get an atom bomb painted cherry red.

I insert a man named Adam.

2019-01-19, 10:03 PM
You get a palindrome.

I insert a baseball.

2019-01-19, 10:24 PM
You get a curling stone.

I insert an ice rink.

Dire Moose
2019-01-20, 11:13 PM
You get a Zamboni.

I insert a Tasmanian Devil.

2019-01-21, 10:47 AM
You get a bucket of slobber and a carrot.

I insert the carrot.

2019-01-21, 04:05 PM
You get a snowman that is glad to have his nose back after that Tasmanian Devil took it from him.

I insert the snowman to keep it from melting.

2019-01-21, 04:40 PM
You get a copy of The Iceman.

I insert a temporal anomaly.

2019-01-21, 06:54 PM
You get a wedgie.

After an epic struggle involving the fate of humanity, I insert Godzilla.

2019-01-23, 02:15 PM
You get the key to the city.

I insert a chunk of well-mixed Tokyo.

2019-01-24, 04:40 PM
You get an upside-down Japanese flag.

I insert a migrating goose.

2019-01-24, 08:11 PM
You get a pickup truck with Manitoba plates with its horn stuck.

I insert a slice of New York-Style pizza.

2019-01-24, 10:23 PM
You get a big jar of applesauce.

I insert Carmen Sandiego's travel itinerary.

Dire Moose
2019-01-24, 10:45 PM
You get a “find my iPhone” signal from Waldo.

I insert Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise.

2019-01-25, 09:47 AM
You get a piece of paper that reads "Star Wars is moar mainstream and therefore bettr".

I insert a red felt-tip pen.

2019-02-11, 04:17 PM
You get a limitless supply of redshirts.

I insert ensign Red Shirt.

2019-02-11, 04:49 PM
You get 753 pieces of the former Ensign Red Shirt in varying sizes, the largest being roughly the size of a tennis ball. The vending machine burps.

I insert:

Fillet of a Fenny Snake
Eye of Newt
Toe of Frog
Wool of Bat
Tongue of Dog
Adder's Fork
Blind-worm's Sting
Lizard's Leg
Howlet's Wing
A Partridge in a Pear Tree

2019-02-11, 06:45 PM
You get Love Potion #12: Holiday Edition.

I insert Eleven (Bag)Pipers Piping.

2019-02-13, 01:39 AM
You're pelted with peartrages.

I insert a freshly-minted quarter.

2019-02-13, 02:23 PM
You get a quarterstaff of Minty Freshness (it's a +1 Quarterstaff that deals an additional 1 cold damage against anything it hits, and gives a +5 enchantment bonus to saves against Breath Weapons)

I insert a Yoda puppet, and an Album of William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy singing.

2019-03-03, 07:59 PM
You get kermit the frog

I insert the whole deck of many things

2019-03-03, 10:33 PM
And you get a cloud of black smoke.

And a broken machine.

I insert a healing potion.

2019-03-03, 11:33 PM
You get a potion of epic mustache growth.

I insert someone's mustache.

2019-03-04, 11:16 AM
You get Tom Selleck.

I insert a Tricycle without wheels.

2019-03-04, 10:15 PM
You get a crying child and an angry parent.

I insert a recumbent bicycle.

Dire Moose
2019-03-09, 04:06 PM
You get a motorcycle with flat tires and an angry biker.

I insert a grizzly bear.

2019-03-09, 08:39 PM
You get Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders.

I insert the entire Calvin & Hobbes collection.

2019-03-09, 10:54 PM
You get one Life of Pi book.

I insert a duergar.

2019-03-10, 11:06 AM
You get a dual-scimitar wielding drow.

I insert:

6 Lilly Petals
5 Stinging Nettles
4 Daffodils
3 Porcupine Quills
2 Conch Horns
A single Rose Thorn

Dire Moose
2019-03-10, 04:41 PM
You get a very bizarre stew.

I insert a swarm of angry bees.

2019-03-10, 07:23 PM
You get a stormy sea.

I insert Predaking (https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Predaking_(G1)).

2019-03-11, 01:57 PM
And you get Predaking. He needs nothing else. :smalltongue:

I put in the documentation for SCP-914.

2019-03-11, 03:59 PM
You get an egg timer marked "Rough" "Course" 1-to-1" "Fine" and "Very Fine", but the dial is stuck.

I insert every Disney character ever. Even the ones that Disney bought indirectly.

Dire Moose
2019-03-11, 04:40 PM
You get a stampede of corporate lawyers who issue a never-ending stream of intellectual property lawsuits.

I insert all of the animals from my local zoo.

2019-03-11, 10:27 PM
You get slashed by the local jaguar.

I insert a Jaguar (the car, not the animal).

2019-03-12, 10:48 AM
You get a tiger in a tank.

I insert 50 gallons of gasoline.

2019-03-12, 11:10 AM
You get a receipt for US$129.95.

I insert a box of LEGO's.

2019-03-15, 03:01 AM
You receive an injured foot.

I insert my upcoming final exams.

Dire Moose
2019-03-15, 07:45 AM
You get a big red “F” and a note asking if you ever even attended class.

I insert a barrel of radioactive waste.

2019-03-15, 08:37 AM
You get a bouquet of sweet-smelling roses.

I insert a box of cheerios.

2019-03-15, 11:27 AM
You get the Cookie Monster. And he's hungry for cookies!

I insert a gallon of liquid nitrogen.

2019-03-23, 10:17 PM
You get a high school science teacher equipped with safety gloves.

I insert a bag of autumn leaves.

Dire Moose
2019-04-06, 07:39 AM
You get a bouquet of spring flowers.

I insert a swarm of angry bees.

Tube Wizard
2019-04-06, 08:25 PM
You get stung repeatedly.

I insert a bag of copper coins, drenched in sea salt.

2019-04-07, 09:50 AM
You get a giant desert riding scorpion, complete with saddle.

I insert the Kraken.

Dire Moose
2019-04-07, 02:42 PM
You get a giant heaping plate of calamari.

I insert a pirate ship.

2019-04-09, 11:44 AM
You get a troupe of 6 award-winning tap-dancing skeletons.

I insert a golden sculpture of a magpie.

2019-04-09, 07:57 PM
You get a fedora and an overcoat, with a copy of the sheet music from "As Time Goes By" written for piano.

I insert nothing.

2019-04-13, 10:27 PM
You receive an invoice for services rendered; the total comes out to three days of happiness and half an existential crisis.

I insert a druid of questionable morals.

Simetra Irertne
2019-04-15, 10:51 AM
You receive a fable concerning suspicious, forest-themed magic users.

I insert clever wordplay.

2019-04-15, 06:05 PM
You get Thor. It hurts.

I insert pain medication.

Dire Moose
2019-04-15, 11:56 PM
You get crystal meth.

I insert myself.

2019-04-16, 12:19 AM
You receive a statue of a moose, carved from diamond.

I insert three oscilloscopes.

2019-04-19, 11:10 AM
You get a confused graph of a tsunami.

I insert Aquaman.

2019-04-19, 12:58 PM
You get Aqua Man:


I insert Top Man.

2019-04-22, 09:19 AM
You get three mice wearing top hats.

I insert a confetti gun, seven sparklers, and a fog horn.

Book Wombat
2019-04-24, 02:47 PM
You get a little pop und sparkle.

I insert a die.

2019-04-24, 04:33 PM
You get a lengthy dissertation on prescriptivism and descriptivism and how the word "dice" as a singular should be accepted.

I insert a cheese grater.

2019-04-25, 10:37 AM
You receive a scroll of Greater Cheese.

I insert a walnut.

2019-04-25, 12:17 PM
You receive a scroll for Wall of Nuts.

I insert a picture of a root beer float.

2019-04-25, 03:22 PM
You get a riot of floating bears. They want to party with you.

I insert humanity's last, best hope.

2019-04-25, 05:59 PM
You get a giant mech warrior.

I insert sapphire bullets of pure love.