View Full Version : TPAY/TPBY D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

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2015-10-29, 04:30 PM
I get a new thread.

I insert three skeletons, one of which does exist anymore.

2015-10-29, 06:31 PM
You get a red devil mask.

I insert a ghost.

2015-10-29, 08:02 PM
You get Mort Fun Time (http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/?p=1091).

I insert a femur.

2015-10-29, 08:32 PM
You get a Fomor.

I insert the whole Unseelie Court.

Prince Zahn
2015-10-30, 01:41 AM
You get a bloodthirsty redcap to your FAAACE.

I insert a feykiller grenade to go off inside the machine.

2015-10-30, 12:58 PM
You get a mimic.

I insert the Tarrasque.

2015-10-30, 03:40 PM
You get a great earthquake. Also, the sun becomes black as sackcloth of hair and the moon becomes as blood.

I insert light.

Dire Moose
2015-10-31, 04:09 AM
You get the rest of the electromagnetic spectrum right in your face.

I insert TPBM's pants.

Insane Trystane
2015-10-31, 08:13 PM
You get a day's calorie count scribbled on the back of a receipt with a smiley face on it.

I insert a skeleton. EDIT: The one that didn't exist anymore from the first post in the thread.

2015-10-31, 09:45 PM
You get a corpse missing its skeleton.

I insert a newt.

2015-10-31, 11:10 PM
You get a witch.

I insert a dragon.

2015-11-01, 12:49 PM
You get a dragon egg, which hatches to reveal a rather confused gnome.

I insert an anthropomorphic fish with levels in paladin.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-01, 04:11 PM
You get Cod Commando. (http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/grimadventures/images/8/8e/Cod_Commando.png/revision/latest?cb=20100311143251)

I insert an industrial revolution.

2015-11-03, 11:51 AM
You get a blender

I insert a king with lepocracy

2015-11-03, 04:04 PM
You get leprosy.

I insert the Ex-Leper from Life Of Brian.

2015-11-03, 04:33 PM
You get some angry religious people.

I insert a magmin.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-03, 04:36 PM
You get a galeb duhr ejected at 87 mph. Meanwhile, the machine goes up in flames.

I insert a water weird.

2015-11-03, 05:53 PM
You get an unusual sea creature.

I insert Saurornithoides mongoliensis. (http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/06-strange-beerfellows/different/)

2015-11-06, 07:07 PM
You get a chicken that has had it's feathers replaced by jurassic-park-dinosaur-style shrink-wrap scales.

I insert the ~2 years since I last frequented this subforum.

2015-11-08, 04:05 AM
You get the 13.8 billion years you didn't frequent the subforum.

I insert a black mage.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-08, 08:04 AM
You get an Onion Knight.

I insert a Chocobo bird.

2015-11-08, 10:36 AM
You get a Kinder egg.

I insert a thank-you note.

Insane Trystane
2015-11-08, 09:44 PM
You get a pop-up Christmas card.

I insert a candelabra.

2015-11-08, 11:52 PM
You get a vibrating square.

I insert a blessed luckstone.

- - - Updated - - -

You get a vibrating square.

I insert a blessed luckstone.

2015-11-09, 02:34 AM
You get a stone with a hole in it, through which you can see Faeries.

I insert a very angry Queen of Air and Darkness, and then back away hurriedly.

2015-11-09, 04:51 PM
You get a note saying "you have caused the downfall of the democratically elected government of candy land and the death of 2.5 million people. You monster."

I insert a note of apology and a 5 gift card.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-10, 03:24 AM
You get cheap flowers that look like they came from the gas station. The gnomes is sorry too, If the card attached to the flowers is to be trusted.

I insert a box of really expensive tissues.

2015-11-10, 11:28 AM
You get a very expensive tissue box.

I insert a non-orientable surface on which the notions of beginning and end are meaningless.

2015-11-10, 08:24 PM
You get a beach ball.

I insert a LOT of sand.

2015-11-10, 10:05 PM
You hear an explosion, see a blinding light emitted from various openings in the machine, and get a lump of radioactive glass.

I insert an RTG.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-11, 03:34 AM
You get a Defibrillator.

I jam the machine with an industrial quantity of Krazy Glue.

2015-11-11, 01:42 PM
You get a bottle of Sovereign glue.

I insert a sword of slaying everything but squid.

2015-11-12, 04:50 PM
After several million years, you discover the gnomes inside the machine have evolved into squid-gnome hybrids. One of them pops out and apologizes for the delay.

I insert Marie Curie.

2015-11-16, 05:20 PM
You get radiation sickness.

I insert a cure-all.

Insane Trystane
2015-11-16, 06:44 PM
You get a half-empty carton of orange juice and a mostly-empty box of tissues.

I insert roast beef and flour tortillas.

2015-11-21, 11:14 AM
You get the sound of gnomes stuffing their faces.

I insert a bag of salt.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-22, 03:19 AM
You get a cup full of french fries (or "chips", depending where you come from).

I insert 4 barrels full of electric eels. . .

2015-11-22, 11:29 AM
You get an improvised electromagnet.

I insert a pile of rheum.

2015-11-22, 11:35 AM
You get a mint on top of a pillow.

I insert the cadbury's factory

2015-11-23, 10:16 AM
You receive half a can of soda.

I insert a Pattern Spider.

2015-11-24, 04:53 AM
You get a pattern screamer.

I insert SCP-261

2015-11-24, 03:12 PM
You receive scp-161. Good luck

I insert sir killalot

2015-11-26, 03:17 PM
You get a healer with the Vow of Peace and Vow of Poverty feats. Not getting killed is about the only thing he can do.

I insert an alternate timeline.

Dire Moose
2015-11-29, 12:30 AM
You get a horde of angry fans of whatever franchise the alternate timeline was in.

I insert a Fiendish Dire Platypus.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-29, 02:38 AM
You get an arm-sized 18th century American Revolution minuteman figurine made of macaroni art. You notice that it is accurate both historically and anatomically, but the true connection between what was given and what was received remains a mystery.

I insert an interview letter regarding the origins of the vending machine, with a promise to insert anything they want if they answer answer my questions.

2015-12-11, 09:56 PM
You get a note that says: "The paper is delicious. Please send ketchup."

I insert a metrognome*.

*a city-dwelling gnome blessed with perfect tempo who enjoys blurring gender lines. What? It's a thing!

2015-12-12, 11:17 AM
You get a clockroach.

I insert some chestnuts.

2015-12-16, 05:53 PM
You get an open fire.

I insert a sphere of annihilation.

2015-12-17, 09:12 AM
You get a black hole. Since the machine wants to live, it turns back time to before you insert it, and closes its insert door before you put in the hole in reality.

I insert Mettaton.

2015-12-18, 12:43 AM
You get Megaton.

I insert the Wasteland Survival Guide.

2015-12-18, 01:33 AM
You get the Anarchist's Cookbook.

I insert Goodwill hunting (the activity, not the movie).

Dire Moose
2016-01-08, 04:50 AM
You get some really good secondhand clothing deals.

I insert a rubber ducky.

2016-01-08, 08:54 AM
You get a duck of doom.

I insert some champagne.

2016-01-08, 09:17 AM
You get a ship.

I insert a laser cutter.

2016-01-08, 09:22 AM
You get a beam of light neatly sliced into bite-sized portions.

I insert irony.

2016-01-08, 10:37 AM
You get an iron E. And it hits you in the groin. How ironic.

I insert the first Pixar movie I can think of.

2016-01-09, 05:31 AM
You get the last Pixar movie you can think of.

I insert a rock shaped like a piece of cake.

2016-01-09, 05:44 AM
You get a cake that looks like a rock.

I insert my sanity.

2016-01-09, 08:09 AM
You get my sanity. (Hey, I was looking for that!)

I insert the wish-twisting genie.

2016-01-09, 11:23 AM
You get a Robin Williams-esque genie.

I insert YouTube.

Prince Zahn
2016-01-10, 07:29 AM
You get MySpace.

I insert MySpace, because nobody wants that anymore.

2016-01-18, 07:10 AM
You get facebook.

I insert Canada.

2016-01-18, 11:11 AM
You get a single chocolate chip.

I insert a key.

2016-01-18, 05:41 PM
You get a Peele.

I insert a daft punk.

2016-01-19, 12:42 AM
You get a deft skunk.

I insert a jar of pickled herrings.

Prince Zahn
2016-01-19, 05:43 AM
. . . You get a can of Strahd-kist tuna. It has a bite mark on it.

I insert the rage of eight demons. . .

2016-01-19, 09:06 AM
You get a demonic barbarian.

I insert plague knight.

2016-01-19, 01:04 PM
You get an unholy knight.

I insert the Japanese alphabet.

2016-01-20, 03:05 AM
You get a bowl of miso soup.

I insert manifest destiny.

Dire Moose
2016-01-20, 01:58 PM
You get a pile of dead buffalo.

I insert the Death Star.

2016-01-20, 06:35 PM
You get a proton torpedo.

I insert transparent aluminium.

2016-01-20, 07:09 PM
You get opaque cling wrap.

I give you the Force.

2016-01-21, 03:13 AM
You get the Speedforce.

I insert SCP-682.

2016-01-21, 03:41 AM
You get shrill gnomish cries. Four hours and thirty-three minutes later, 682 exits and eats you.

I insert myself in a doomed attempt to hide from the beast.

Prince Zahn
2016-01-21, 08:14 AM
You get yourself, the potentially only thing still left in the machine. 682 finds you.

I wait until this all blows over, then I hire new gnomes, and restock the machine with all sorts of random junk bizarre knickknacks so strange and esoteric that even I don't know about them.

2016-01-21, 08:51 AM
You get a sign that says "No more scps. EVER."

I insert a doughnut.

2016-01-21, 09:23 AM
You get Dimensional Donuts.

I insert SCP-261.

2016-01-22, 05:57 AM
You get 3 vending machines.

I insert SCP-682, the Tarrasque, the Super-Adaptoid, Amazo, Darwin the Evolving boy, Alex Mercer, James Heller, and the entire east coast of the United States of America.

2016-01-22, 08:47 AM
You get some kind of planet-annihilating monster. And the anger of the former east coast. Jerk.

I insert Squidward.

2016-01-22, 08:09 PM
You get Cthulhu.

I insert 263 metric tons of barley.

2016-01-23, 05:53 AM
You get a lot of barley gruel.

I insert all released copies of Gygax Magazine.

2016-01-26, 01:12 AM
You get dragon-sized reading glasses.

I insert 5 tons of flax.

2016-01-31, 03:00 PM
You get flax seed.

I insert the word "coin".

2016-01-31, 09:08 PM
You receive the word "prize".

I insert the shaved hair of a dwarf's beard.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-01, 01:53 AM
You get Sneezy, can you collect all seven dwarves?

I insert a sealed candy bar wrapper. . . With the wrong candy bar inside :smalleek:

2016-02-01, 02:04 AM
You get a Martian invasion force, demanding that you take them to Babe Ruth.

I insert the Baseball Hall of Fame.

2016-02-01, 08:09 AM
You get the baseball hall of shame.

I insert cold medicine.

2016-02-01, 11:14 AM
You get a strain of disease-proof gnomes.

I subject these gnomes to the same Super Serum that Captain America used and put them back in the machine.

2016-02-03, 07:14 AM
You get your Gnomes back.

I insert the next post.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-03, 07:49 AM
You get the yesterday's Washington Post.

I insert this month's issue of the Bonga Bugle.

2016-02-04, 09:03 PM
You get a bag of BB pellets.

I insert a drop of paint.

2016-02-05, 02:23 AM
You get this thread.

I insert the letter "E".

2016-02-05, 09:21 AM
You get an Ampharos.

I insert a koopa.

Dire Moose
2016-02-05, 04:55 PM
You get Yoshi, who lets out a satisfied "BURP."

I insert a steam train.

2016-02-05, 06:31 PM
You get too many games. Now you have to play them all.

I insert one punch.

2016-02-05, 09:09 PM

I insert the wither.

2016-02-06, 05:15 PM
You get the weather.

I insert the song "I Am A Rock."

Dire Moose
2016-02-07, 02:24 AM
Rocks fall, everyone dies.

I insert a shark.

2016-02-07, 10:37 AM
You get an acid-breathing shark with lasers on its head.

I insert a demonic cat.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-07, 11:51 AM
You get an infernal mouse.

I insert a black wing gull with a broken back.

2016-02-07, 12:19 PM
You get an obscure Oedipus reference.

I insert a butterfly trapped in a spiderweb.

Dire Moose
2016-02-07, 09:24 PM
You get a spider trapped in a chrysalis.

I insert a swarm of killer bees.

2016-02-08, 02:03 AM
I summon Batman. "Bees. My god."

I insert the entire soundtrack of Chrono Trigger.

2016-02-08, 08:12 PM
You get the entire soundtrack of Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey.

I insert an infinite improbability drive.

2016-02-09, 12:42 AM
You get teleported to the other side of the galaxy.

I insert Youtube captioning.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-09, 04:19 AM
You get a thumbnail.

I insert somebody's darling.

Dire Moose
2016-02-15, 06:40 PM
You get said somebody about to murder you with a battleaxe.

I insert a lit stick of dynamite.

2016-02-16, 01:36 AM
You have fun! Tons of it :smallbiggrin:

I insert 2 glowing gems, the remains of a scrap metal golem, socks (not the same color) + your imagination.

2016-02-16, 08:28 AM
You get Mettaton EX.

I insert a repeating crossbow crossbow crossbow.

2016-02-16, 12:10 PM
You get the Generic Half-Elven Dual-Class Ranger (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/01/27/episode-1087-exalted-feat/).

I insert a request for good anime.

Laughing Dog
2016-02-16, 10:14 PM
You get Neon Genesis Evangelion.

I insert three broken swords and a whole halberd.

2016-02-16, 10:43 PM
You get a sentient whirlwind of blades!

I insert a mysterious coin of unknown origin, a candle, and a gem worth 5000 gp.

2016-02-16, 11:00 PM
You get a head of lettuce, a Lesser Soul Gem, and some yarn.

I insert the Madgod's ramblings.

2016-02-19, 05:19 AM
You get a head of lettuce, a Lesser Soul Gem, and some yarn.

I insert the Madgod's ramblings.

You get Azathoth, the blind idiot god.

I insert DIO.

2016-02-22, 02:34 PM
You get Celene DION.

I insert my head in an attempt to escape.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-22, 03:42 PM
You get a sphere of annihilation. It's a little too close for comfort, I'm afraid.

I insert a sparrow.

2016-02-22, 04:30 PM
You don't get jack.

I insert the soundtrack of RWBY.

2016-03-01, 04:33 PM
a giant scythe slices you into three equal segments which are then transported to a point where it tips, a point where it breaks, and a point where you just cant take it anymore

I insert the four tens of pies which Lex Luther stole.

2016-03-02, 08:01 AM
You get a note saying that it was CAKES. Not pies.

I insert Luigi.

Prince Zahn
2016-03-02, 02:44 PM
A piranha plant extends out of the machine; it gets a bite out of you, literally.

I insert a massive roast dire duck for the gnomes to eat.

2016-03-03, 01:58 PM
you get one hundred roast duck sized horses

I insert a jar of mayonnaise

2016-03-03, 02:02 PM
You get a flea.

I give a damn. Directly into the vending machine.

Prince Zahn
2016-03-04, 10:31 AM
You get a rat's behind, tails sold separately.

I insert the 3 post rule. I have no need for it right now.:smalltongue:

2016-03-04, 11:06 AM
You get Banhammer 40K.

I insert my GM's lucky dice.

2016-03-04, 10:04 PM
You get dice with blank faces.

I insert a diamond.

Dire Moose
2016-03-09, 10:25 AM
You get the starving child who was paid half a penny to mine it.

Yoda, I insert.

Prince Zahn
2016-03-09, 11:00 AM
Green eggs and ham, you get.

Normal grammar, I insert.

2016-03-09, 12:16 PM
You get someone not from the internet.

I insert a creeper.

2016-03-09, 02:20 PM
you get blown to bits after a half second of hissing

I insert the bits.

2016-03-10, 10:32 AM
You get the bytes.

I insert the bites.

2016-03-10, 12:14 PM
You get the baits.

I insert Norman Bates.

@V: Presumably with an 'EEE! EEE! EEE! EEE!" sound, correct?

Dire Moose
2016-03-12, 02:30 PM
You get a knife. Delivered right to the face. (and correct, Dudeons.)

I insert an exploding kitten.

Prince Zahn
2016-03-12, 03:33 PM
You get Schrodinger's nuke.

I insert all the possible radioactivity from schrodinger's nuke.

2016-03-18, 01:18 AM
You get Heisenberg's Uncertainty Bioweapon in the face. Or do you?

I insert the entire sum of knowledge, philosophy, and culture of the human race to date.

2016-03-18, 08:27 AM
You get a really frikin' big book.

I insert a pig.

Mister Tom
2016-04-04, 05:50 AM
You get a Kevin bacon plush doll.

I insert Orcus!

Professor Gnoll
2016-04-04, 05:53 AM
You get Orcus!
I insert the GITP forums.

Prince Zahn
2016-04-04, 06:53 AM
You get banned.

I insert nimble Momonga (face down, though)

Dire Moose
2016-04-04, 05:21 PM
The gnomes use it to summon like a million more which come pouring out of the machine and eat you.

I insert the vending machine into itself.

Mister Tom
2016-04-04, 05:45 PM
You get an inside out vending machine.

I insert a parchment with explosive runes on.

2016-04-04, 08:06 PM
You get a polite letter asking you to please phrase all correspondence in gnomish. Which then explodes.

I insert eggs, butter, flour, yeast, salt and just a touch of sugar.

Professor Gnoll
2016-04-04, 08:16 PM
You get a sloppy pile of gunk, filtered through the filthy interior workings of the Vending Machine, which by now has had all sorts of disgusting things shoved through it.

I insert one fish, then two fish, along with a red fish and finally a blue fish.

Prince Zahn
2016-04-05, 07:58 AM
You get an elephant bird. It flies away after it accidentally breaks your ribcage.

I insert everything I saw on Mulberry Street.

Mister Tom
2016-04-06, 04:24 AM
You belatedly realise that starting with your own feet was a bad idea. ( you get a two foot long pole.)

I insert a Bec de Corbin

2016-04-08, 04:55 AM
You get an actual raven's beak.

I insert portable hole.

2016-04-08, 07:41 AM
You get a bag of holding.

I insert a munchkin. (The gamer archetype, not the little guys from "Wizard of Oz.")

2016-04-08, 08:33 PM
you get a box of munchkins (the dunkin doughnuts variety)

I insert the actual cannibal that is Shia Labeouf

Professor Gnoll
2016-04-09, 02:45 AM
Only his head emerges. It falls to the ground, expressionless.

I insert myself.

Prince Zahn
2016-04-09, 08:38 AM
You get returned to sender.

I insert my shelf....

2016-04-09, 04:31 PM
You get someone else's shelf.

I insert a quantum physics book.

2016-04-10, 11:22 AM
you receive a physics student's notes from physics class today. I hope he doesn't need them.

I insert one angry physics student

2016-04-10, 01:41 PM
Albert Einstein's hand emerges from the machine, holding a ruler which he uses to rap you sharply on the knuckles.

I insert Normal, Illinois.

Mister Tom
2016-04-10, 05:36 PM
You get a normal citizen of Boring, Oregon.

I insert a mimic.

2016-04-11, 02:06 AM
You receive a mime.

I insert my favorite set of polyhedrals.

Professor Gnoll
2016-04-11, 02:15 AM
You get a natural 20.

I insert the complete works of Shakespeare.

2016-04-11, 07:40 AM
You get a thousand monkeys on the same number of typewriters.

I insert a literal iron fist.

2016-04-11, 09:39 PM
you receive an iron boot

I insert a wooden nickel

Mister Tom
2016-04-12, 12:32 PM
You receive a mimic.

I insert a funnel and pour in half a pint of treacle.

Dire Moose
2016-04-12, 04:08 PM
You get diabetes.

I insert Nicolas Cage.

2016-04-12, 06:53 PM
You receive a cage made from nickel.

I insert my pants.

Professor Gnoll
2016-04-12, 07:27 PM
You receive an arrest for public indecency.

I insert a D&D Vending Machine.

Prince Zahn
2016-04-13, 02:58 AM
You get a WoD Vending Machine.

I insert a SoDA Vending Machine.

2016-04-13, 09:14 PM
You get a SnAcK machine.

I insert my story in progress into the machine

2016-04-14, 07:33 AM
You get a bad fanfiction written in gnomish.

I insert a plutonium dragon.

Professor Gnoll
2016-04-14, 10:10 AM
You get radiation poisoning.

I insert my soul.

2016-04-14, 10:32 AM
You get a heart.

I insert a card, face down on the field.

2016-04-14, 07:38 PM
You get a Mystical Space Typhoon (as well as an actual typhoon).

I insert two things: a plan, and not quite enough time.

Prince Zahn
2016-04-15, 06:58 AM




... You get flowers from the gas station 3 weeks later. The gnomes procrastinated, sorry.

I insert a koala bear plush toy.

2016-04-15, 09:31 AM
you receive a grizzly bear (non toy)

I insert $1.50

2016-04-15, 10:08 AM
You receive a good time.

I insert Evilanagram's guides, A-Z

Dire Moose
2016-04-17, 01:58 PM
You get a guide to making good-sounding anagrams out of evil things.

I insert a giant ground sloth.

2016-04-19, 07:24 PM
You get a miniature sky vanity.

I insert a mole machine.

2016-04-20, 07:28 AM
A dwarf planet made of a mole of moles appears somewhere.

I insert a d20.

2016-04-20, 02:30 PM
You get a giant cheeseburger made of Icyhot, caltrops, and d4s with buns made of legos.

I insert a pickle.

2016-04-20, 02:44 PM
You get Ozzie'd.

I insert flowers, to thank those crafty gnomes for their service.

2016-04-20, 06:46 PM
You get a note from the Worshipful Guild of Gnomish Tinkers and Vending Machine Operators, appreciative of your patronage.

I insert pen and ink.

2016-04-25, 12:44 AM
You get a feathered octopus.

I insert Vogon poetry.

2016-04-25, 07:36 AM
You get a piece of paper that's scribbled all over, plus a note that says "NO MORE PLEASE GODS NO"

I insert something by Robert Frost.

Mister Tom
2016-04-28, 03:12 AM
You get a shakily written note saying AAAAH NO PLEASE NO EVEN MORE VOGONS. And some explosive runes.

I insert a towel.

Dire Moose
2016-04-28, 05:34 AM
You get the secret to life the universe, and everything.

I insert a stegosaurus.

2016-04-30, 06:44 AM
You get sudden but inevitable betrayal.

I insert two turntables and a microphone.

Prince Zahn
2016-05-02, 04:31 AM
... You get three turnstiles and a megaphone.

I insert a bottle of Famous Grouse... Just the bottle, I don't know where the rest of it is... *shifty eyes*

Grand Arbiter
2016-05-02, 06:08 PM
You get a canned chicken.

I insert a box of stale snickerdoodles.

Laughing Dog
2016-05-09, 08:57 PM
You get a Scooby Snack.

I insert a Scooby.

2016-05-10, 07:35 AM
You get a scrappy.

I insert a Scrappy, since no one wants that.

2016-05-10, 12:51 PM
You get the Scrappy back, since not even the vending machine wants that.

I insert a bottle of cola.

2016-05-10, 03:37 PM
You get a Pepsi.

I insert a Royale with Cheese.

2016-05-10, 07:11 PM
You get a royale with milk.
I insert a Potion of Genderswap [+1 CHA -1 STR if user is Male, +1 STR -1 CHA if user is female.]

Prince Zahn
2016-05-11, 05:26 AM
You get an Oil of Shillelagh (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0443.html), (no, the other kind, the kind that REAL fighters use)

I insert a Vending Machine shaped cake,because I have a sense that one of the gnomes is having a birthday.

Johnny America
2016-05-11, 10:06 AM
You get a vending machine shaped thank you card, it seems your intuition was right.

I insert the minor atrocities we commit unknowingly every day

Mister Tom
2016-05-11, 05:07 PM
You get full knowledge of their consequences.

I insert a prism

Grand Arbiter
2016-05-11, 07:53 PM
You get a kaleidoscope.

I insert 3 books of jokes, a cup of good humor and a pinch of sarcasm.

2016-05-12, 07:36 AM
You get a book by Robin Williams.

I insert a really, really big sword.

2016-05-12, 10:32 AM
You get the sword back.

At high velocity.

I put in a good natured comment.

Prince Zahn
2016-05-12, 01:21 PM
You get a train wreck of a misunderstanding.

I insert a literal train wreck.... Somehow, probably with telekinesis, I have a scroll for it, but it's a little risky unless ai find a stronger mage to use it.

2016-05-13, 04:43 PM
You get the skull of the conductor.

I insert a Vending Machine

2016-05-17, 05:31 AM
You get a jkhero73 inserted into your open mouth.

I insert the Semi-Elemental Plane of Ranch Dressing.

Grand Arbiter
2016-05-17, 05:52 AM
You get a dominated kobold, and a cat with bowel issues.

I insert a thank you note to thank the gnomes that maintain this wonderful machine.

2016-05-17, 12:44 PM
You get a phone number.

I put in a grenade. :smallbiggrin:

2016-05-17, 01:22 PM
you get it back... whitout stick!

i insert a stone, that i found on the ground.

2016-05-18, 01:35 PM
You get a handful of gravel and a note saying: "It was pregnant. We hope you can take care of these."

I insert a dastardly and diabolical plan.

Prince Zahn
2016-05-19, 06:20 AM
You get 1d6 meddling kids and 1d3-1 little dogs, too, who foiled the plan.

Speaking of which,
I insert one big happy family.

2016-05-19, 12:35 PM
They are never seen again. There doesn't seem to be any sign of a struggle, so it looks like it's pretty they'd rather stay there.

I put in myself to see where they went.

2016-05-19, 12:53 PM
you got internal happieness, but the veddingmachine puttet out a rennting bill...

i insert a lawyer, i don't want to pay for anotherones happieness!

2016-05-20, 01:48 AM
You somehow end up owing the gnomes alimony and child support, plus a generous stipend for physical and psychological trauma.

I insert the Bizarro-Gnomes from Vending Machine II.

Grand Arbiter
2016-05-20, 05:59 AM
You get a Bizarro-backwaterj, and 1d3+2 angry badgers.

I insert kryptonite, of every possible color.

2016-05-20, 12:07 PM
You get a jkhero73 inserted into your open mouth.
I was laughing so hard at that! XD

You get the Kryptonite back, with a note that says: "Never do this again."

I insert a rift in spacetime.

Dire Moose
2016-05-20, 09:38 PM
You get an evil version of yourself with a goatee.

I insert stuff.

2016-05-21, 08:43 AM
You get things.

I insert things.

2016-05-21, 11:35 AM
You get a substance.

I insert a man of substance.

Prince Zahn
2016-05-22, 12:43 AM
You get a person with depth.

I insert that depth, and the person with it.

2016-05-27, 08:17 PM
You get a plot line.
I insert a lute!

2016-05-28, 12:22 PM
You get loot.

I insert a homophone.

Grand Arbiter
2016-05-28, 03:46 PM
You get a synonym.

I insert cinnamon.

2016-05-28, 04:17 PM
You get a spoon.

I insert 🕈✋☠☝ 👎✋☠☝💧.

2016-05-29, 02:51 AM
you get gaster

i insert the core and trow gaster inside it.

2016-06-09, 07:19 PM
You get the hidden backstory of Gaster.
I insert something to get the topic off of Undertale.

2016-06-10, 02:53 AM
You get profound relief.

I insert Underdog UnderoosTM

Prince Zahn
2016-06-10, 03:15 PM
You get a hot dog on the loose (https://youtu.be/e1HjLwDu7-M)

I insert a warthog and a goose

2016-06-15, 02:10 PM
You get Skyward Sword, but the main character is a warthog.

I insert this guy.

Mister Tom
2016-06-15, 03:40 PM
You get an invisible crucifix.

I insert a mini roundabout

Black Socks
2016-06-16, 07:02 AM
You get a mini train.

I insert a pair of black socks.

Prince Zahn
2016-06-16, 12:03 PM
You get 1d6 White Sox fans

I insert a white collar crime

2016-06-16, 07:23 PM
You get ten years, no parole.

I insert a filled character sheet.

Grand Arbiter
2016-06-16, 08:24 PM
You get hand-drawn portrait of said character.

I insert The Homebrewer's Extended Signature thread.

2016-06-17, 02:54 AM
You get a shameless plug and a quickly-emptying shameful drain.

I insert Charlemagne's liver.

Black Socks
2016-06-18, 04:08 PM
You get some seasoned goose liver.

I insert a pair of sunglasses.

2016-06-20, 06:53 PM
You receive a small slip of paper, on which the words "DE AL WITH IT" are stamped.

I insert a dank meme.

Prince Zahn
2016-06-23, 04:11 AM
You get a pile of danker memes.

I insert a dank mom.

Dire Moose
2016-06-23, 04:13 AM
You get a dank baby.

I insert a double-bladed crossguard lightsaber.

2016-06-23, 10:02 AM
You get a very over complicated weapon.

I insert 3,872 orcs.

Black Socks
2016-06-23, 11:21 AM
You get a guy with a chainsaw and a giant hammer.

I insert a CYOA book.

2016-06-23, 09:23 PM
You receive a CMYK book.

I insert the certainty that I am right.

2016-06-25, 11:27 AM
You get the truth.

I insert a B-17 bomber.

2016-06-27, 05:47 PM
You receive a Boeing 747.

I insert recursion.

2016-07-02, 02:36 PM
You get a used band-aid.

I insert a google search.

2016-07-05, 05:17 PM
You get 50,000 results that almost, but don't quite actually come anywhere near addressing your query; 50 links to shadow copies of one original post asking your identical question and being condescendingly told to google it; and also some ads that you could have just as easily received via email.

I insert my rage against the machine.

Black Socks
2016-07-05, 05:27 PM
You get some robot-prescribed calming pills.

I insert the universe.

Grand Arbiter
2016-07-06, 06:54 AM
You get a snow globe.

I insert a cake for the wonderful gnomes that run this machine.

2016-07-06, 05:39 PM
A gnome crawls out of the machine and hands you a thank you card.

I insert the alignment chart with Chaotic Good circled.

2016-07-07, 09:17 AM
You get a rebel helmet.

I insert a liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

Black Socks
2016-07-08, 06:01 PM
You get a cup that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a teacup.

I insert a laugh track.

2016-07-10, 01:11 PM
You get canned laughter. Like, laughter, inside of a can.

I insert a bad font that hurts to read.

2016-07-10, 08:05 PM
I insert a bad font that hurts to read.

You are invited to a lecture series on the history of typography. One of the lectures is titled "Can Comic Sans MS be Saved?"

You insert A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

Mister Tom
2016-07-11, 01:47 PM
You get Burn before reading: 1001 great put-downs by history's shining wits.

I insert a subordinate clause.

Black Socks
2016-07-11, 05:08 PM
You get an angry employee.

I insert the Lost Mines of Phandelvar adventure.

Grand Arbiter
2016-07-21, 06:23 AM
You get a thank-you note from the gnomes for their new break room activity.

I insert a scroll of Meteor Swarm.

Prince Zahn
2016-07-21, 06:42 AM
You get a novelty gun that, upon pulling the trigger, functions as a cigarette lighter.

I insert an Apology note for not having something interesting to offer, as well with 1d100 boxes of candy.

2016-07-26, 06:25 AM
You get 1d100 apology notes.

I insert a wendigo.

Black Socks
2016-08-01, 04:59 PM
You get a scared child hiding under the bed covers.

I insert a refrigerator magnet.