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View Full Version : TPAY/TPBY D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed



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Inevitability
2015-10-29, 04:30 PM
I get a new thread.

I insert three skeletons, one of which does exist anymore.

Orm-Embar
2015-10-29, 06:31 PM
You get a red devil mask.

I insert a ghost.

Emperordaniel
2015-10-29, 08:02 PM
You get Mort Fun Time (http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/?p=1091).

I insert a femur.

GuesssWho
2015-10-29, 08:32 PM
You get a Fomor.

I insert the whole Unseelie Court.

Prince Zahn
2015-10-30, 01:41 AM
You get a bloodthirsty redcap to your FAAACE.


I insert a feykiller grenade to go off inside the machine.

Fii
2015-10-30, 12:58 PM
You get a mimic.

I insert the Tarrasque.

Inevitability
2015-10-30, 03:40 PM
You get a great earthquake. Also, the sun becomes black as sackcloth of hair and the moon becomes as blood.

I insert light.

Dire Moose
2015-10-31, 04:09 AM
You get the rest of the electromagnetic spectrum right in your face.

I insert TPBM's pants.

Insane Trystane
2015-10-31, 08:13 PM
You get a day's calorie count scribbled on the back of a receipt with a smiley face on it.

I insert a skeleton. EDIT: The one that didn't exist anymore from the first post in the thread.

Emperordaniel
2015-10-31, 09:45 PM
You get a corpse missing its skeleton.

I insert a newt.

GuesssWho
2015-10-31, 11:10 PM
You get a witch.

I insert a dragon.

Inevitability
2015-11-01, 12:49 PM
You get a dragon egg, which hatches to reveal a rather confused gnome.

I insert an anthropomorphic fish with levels in paladin.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-01, 04:11 PM
You get Cod Commando. (http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/grimadventures/images/8/8e/Cod_Commando.png/revision/latest?cb=20100311143251)

I insert an industrial revolution.

Ninjaman
2015-11-03, 11:51 AM
You get a blender

I insert a king with lepocracy

GuesssWho
2015-11-03, 04:04 PM
You get leprosy.

I insert the Ex-Leper from Life Of Brian.

Inevitability
2015-11-03, 04:33 PM
You get some angry religious people.

I insert a magmin.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-03, 04:36 PM
You get a galeb duhr ejected at 87 mph. Meanwhile, the machine goes up in flames.

I insert a water weird.

Emperordaniel
2015-11-03, 05:53 PM
You get an unusual sea creature.

I insert Saurornithoides mongoliensis. (http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/06-strange-beerfellows/different/)

Drynwyn
2015-11-06, 07:07 PM
You get a chicken that has had it's feathers replaced by jurassic-park-dinosaur-style shrink-wrap scales.

I insert the ~2 years since I last frequented this subforum.

Inevitability
2015-11-08, 04:05 AM
You get the 13.8 billion years you didn't frequent the subforum.

I insert a black mage.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-08, 08:04 AM
You get an Onion Knight.

I insert a Chocobo bird.

Emperordaniel
2015-11-08, 10:36 AM
You get a Kinder egg.

I insert a thank-you note.

Insane Trystane
2015-11-08, 09:44 PM
You get a pop-up Christmas card.

I insert a candelabra.

Drynwyn
2015-11-08, 11:52 PM
You get a vibrating square.

I insert a blessed luckstone.

- - - Updated - - -

You get a vibrating square.

I insert a blessed luckstone.

GuesssWho
2015-11-09, 02:34 AM
You get a stone with a hole in it, through which you can see Faeries.

I insert a very angry Queen of Air and Darkness, and then back away hurriedly.

Jon0113
2015-11-09, 04:51 PM
You get a note saying "you have caused the downfall of the democratically elected government of candy land and the death of 2.5 million people. You monster."

I insert a note of apology and a 5 gift card.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-10, 03:24 AM
You get cheap flowers that look like they came from the gas station. The gnomes is sorry too, If the card attached to the flowers is to be trusted.

I insert a box of really expensive tissues.

Inevitability
2015-11-10, 11:28 AM
You get a very expensive tissue box.

I insert a non-orientable surface on which the notions of beginning and end are meaningless.

GuesssWho
2015-11-10, 08:24 PM
You get a beach ball.

I insert a LOT of sand.

Emperordaniel
2015-11-10, 10:05 PM
You hear an explosion, see a blinding light emitted from various openings in the machine, and get a lump of radioactive glass.

I insert an RTG.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-11, 03:34 AM
You get a Defibrillator.

I jam the machine with an industrial quantity of Krazy Glue.

Syldar
2015-11-11, 01:42 PM
You get a bottle of Sovereign glue.


I insert a sword of slaying everything but squid.

Inevitability
2015-11-12, 04:50 PM
After several million years, you discover the gnomes inside the machine have evolved into squid-gnome hybrids. One of them pops out and apologizes for the delay.

I insert Marie Curie.

GuesssWho
2015-11-16, 05:20 PM
You get radiation sickness.

I insert a cure-all.

Insane Trystane
2015-11-16, 06:44 PM
You get a half-empty carton of orange juice and a mostly-empty box of tissues.

I insert roast beef and flour tortillas.

Twelvetrees
2015-11-21, 11:14 AM
You get the sound of gnomes stuffing their faces.

I insert a bag of salt.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-22, 03:19 AM
You get a cup full of french fries (or "chips", depending where you come from).

I insert 4 barrels full of electric eels. . .

Inevitability
2015-11-22, 11:29 AM
You get an improvised electromagnet.

I insert a pile of rheum.

Jon0113
2015-11-22, 11:35 AM
You get a mint on top of a pillow.

I insert the cadbury's factory

Drynwyn
2015-11-23, 10:16 AM
You receive half a can of soda.

I insert a Pattern Spider.

GuesssWho
2015-11-24, 04:53 AM
You get a pattern screamer.

I insert SCP-261

Jon0113
2015-11-24, 03:12 PM
You receive scp-161. Good luck

I insert sir killalot

Inevitability
2015-11-26, 03:17 PM
You get a healer with the Vow of Peace and Vow of Poverty feats. Not getting killed is about the only thing he can do.

I insert an alternate timeline.

Dire Moose
2015-11-29, 12:30 AM
You get a horde of angry fans of whatever franchise the alternate timeline was in.

I insert a Fiendish Dire Platypus.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-29, 02:38 AM
You get an arm-sized 18th century American Revolution minuteman figurine made of macaroni art. You notice that it is accurate both historically and anatomically, but the true connection between what was given and what was received remains a mystery.

I insert an interview letter regarding the origins of the vending machine, with a promise to insert anything they want if they answer answer my questions.

backwaterj
2015-12-11, 09:56 PM
You get a note that says: "The paper is delicious. Please send ketchup."

I insert a metrognome*.

*a city-dwelling gnome blessed with perfect tempo who enjoys blurring gender lines. What? It's a thing!

Inevitability
2015-12-12, 11:17 AM
You get a clockroach.

I insert some chestnuts.

Dudeons
2015-12-16, 05:53 PM
You get an open fire.

I insert a sphere of annihilation.

Syldar
2015-12-17, 09:12 AM
You get a black hole. Since the machine wants to live, it turns back time to before you insert it, and closes its insert door before you put in the hole in reality.

I insert Mettaton.

Emperordaniel
2015-12-18, 12:43 AM
You get Megaton.

I insert the Wasteland Survival Guide.

backwaterj
2015-12-18, 01:33 AM
You get the Anarchist's Cookbook.

I insert Goodwill hunting (the activity, not the movie).

Dire Moose
2016-01-08, 04:50 AM
You get some really good secondhand clothing deals.

I insert a rubber ducky.

Syldar
2016-01-08, 08:54 AM
You get a duck of doom.

I insert some champagne.

Emperordaniel
2016-01-08, 09:17 AM
You get a ship.

I insert a laser cutter.

backwaterj
2016-01-08, 09:22 AM
You get a beam of light neatly sliced into bite-sized portions.

I insert irony.

Dudeons
2016-01-08, 10:37 AM
You get an iron E. And it hits you in the groin. How ironic.

I insert the first Pixar movie I can think of.

Inevitability
2016-01-09, 05:31 AM
You get the last Pixar movie you can think of.

I insert a rock shaped like a piece of cake.

GuesssWho
2016-01-09, 05:44 AM
You get a cake that looks like a rock.

I insert my sanity.

backwaterj
2016-01-09, 08:09 AM
You get my sanity. (Hey, I was looking for that!)

I insert the wish-twisting genie.

Dudeons
2016-01-09, 11:23 AM
You get a Robin Williams-esque genie.

I insert YouTube.

Prince Zahn
2016-01-10, 07:29 AM
You get MySpace.

I insert MySpace, because nobody wants that anymore.

Graypairofsocks
2016-01-18, 07:10 AM
You get facebook.

I insert Canada.

Twelvetrees
2016-01-18, 11:11 AM
You get a single chocolate chip.

I insert a key.

Dudeons
2016-01-18, 05:41 PM
You get a Peele.

I insert a daft punk.

backwaterj
2016-01-19, 12:42 AM
You get a deft skunk.

I insert a jar of pickled herrings.

Prince Zahn
2016-01-19, 05:43 AM
. . . You get a can of Strahd-kist tuna. It has a bite mark on it.

I insert the rage of eight demons. . .

Syldar
2016-01-19, 09:06 AM
You get a demonic barbarian.

I insert plague knight.

Dudeons
2016-01-19, 01:04 PM
You get an unholy knight.

I insert the Japanese alphabet.

backwaterj
2016-01-20, 03:05 AM
You get a bowl of miso soup.

I insert manifest destiny.

Dire Moose
2016-01-20, 01:58 PM
You get a pile of dead buffalo.

I insert the Death Star.

Emperordaniel
2016-01-20, 06:35 PM
You get a proton torpedo.

I insert transparent aluminium.

Dudeons
2016-01-20, 07:09 PM
You get opaque cling wrap.

I give you the Force.

Graypairofsocks
2016-01-21, 03:13 AM
You get the Speedforce.

I insert SCP-682.

Inevitability
2016-01-21, 03:41 AM
You get shrill gnomish cries. Four hours and thirty-three minutes later, 682 exits and eats you.

I insert myself in a doomed attempt to hide from the beast.

Prince Zahn
2016-01-21, 08:14 AM
You get yourself, the potentially only thing still left in the machine. 682 finds you.

I wait until this all blows over, then I hire new gnomes, and restock the machine with all sorts of random junk bizarre knickknacks so strange and esoteric that even I don't know about them.

Syldar
2016-01-21, 08:51 AM
You get a sign that says "No more scps. EVER."

I insert a doughnut.

GuesssWho
2016-01-21, 09:23 AM
You get Dimensional Donuts.

I insert SCP-261.

Graypairofsocks
2016-01-22, 05:57 AM
You get 3 vending machines.

I insert SCP-682, the Tarrasque, the Super-Adaptoid, Amazo, Darwin the Evolving boy, Alex Mercer, James Heller, and the entire east coast of the United States of America.

Syldar
2016-01-22, 08:47 AM
You get some kind of planet-annihilating monster. And the anger of the former east coast. Jerk.

I insert Squidward.

backwaterj
2016-01-22, 08:09 PM
You get Cthulhu.

I insert 263 metric tons of barley.

Inevitability
2016-01-23, 05:53 AM
You get a lot of barley gruel.

I insert all released copies of Gygax Magazine.

GuesssWho
2016-01-26, 01:12 AM
You get dragon-sized reading glasses.

I insert 5 tons of flax.

Graypairofsocks
2016-01-31, 03:00 PM
You get flax seed.

I insert the word "coin".

KristianaSimone
2016-01-31, 09:08 PM
You receive the word "prize".

I insert the shaved hair of a dwarf's beard.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-01, 01:53 AM
You get Sneezy, can you collect all seven dwarves?

I insert a sealed candy bar wrapper. . . With the wrong candy bar inside :smalleek:

backwaterj
2016-02-01, 02:04 AM
You get a Martian invasion force, demanding that you take them to Babe Ruth.

I insert the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Syldar
2016-02-01, 08:09 AM
You get the baseball hall of shame.

I insert cold medicine.

Dudeons
2016-02-01, 11:14 AM
You get a strain of disease-proof gnomes.

I subject these gnomes to the same Super Serum that Captain America used and put them back in the machine.

Graypairofsocks
2016-02-03, 07:14 AM
You get your Gnomes back.

I insert the next post.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-03, 07:49 AM
You get the yesterday's Washington Post.

I insert this month's issue of the Bonga Bugle.

Twelvetrees
2016-02-04, 09:03 PM
You get a bag of BB pellets.

I insert a drop of paint.

Graypairofsocks
2016-02-05, 02:23 AM
You get this thread.

I insert the letter "E".

Syldar
2016-02-05, 09:21 AM
You get an Ampharos.

I insert a koopa.

Dire Moose
2016-02-05, 04:55 PM
You get Yoshi, who lets out a satisfied "BURP."

I insert a steam train.

Dudeons
2016-02-05, 06:31 PM
You get too many games. Now you have to play them all.

I insert one punch.

Syldar
2016-02-05, 09:09 PM
You get a SUPER POWER NINJA TURBO NEO ULTRA HYPER MEGA MULTI ALPHA META EXTRA UBER PREFIX... COMBOOOOOO!!!!!!

I insert the wither.

GuesssWho
2016-02-06, 05:15 PM
You get the weather.

I insert the song "I Am A Rock."

Dire Moose
2016-02-07, 02:24 AM
Rocks fall, everyone dies.

I insert a shark.

Syldar
2016-02-07, 10:37 AM
You get an acid-breathing shark with lasers on its head.

I insert a demonic cat.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-07, 11:51 AM
You get an infernal mouse.

I insert a black wing gull with a broken back.

GuesssWho
2016-02-07, 12:19 PM
You get an obscure Oedipus reference.

I insert a butterfly trapped in a spiderweb.

Dire Moose
2016-02-07, 09:24 PM
You get a spider trapped in a chrysalis.

I insert a swarm of killer bees.

Dudeons
2016-02-08, 02:03 AM
I summon Batman. "Bees. My god."

I insert the entire soundtrack of Chrono Trigger.

backwaterj
2016-02-08, 08:12 PM
You get the entire soundtrack of Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey.

I insert an infinite improbability drive.

Emperordaniel
2016-02-09, 12:42 AM
You get teleported to the other side of the galaxy.

I insert Youtube captioning.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-09, 04:19 AM
You get a thumbnail.

I insert somebody's darling.

Dire Moose
2016-02-15, 06:40 PM
You get said somebody about to murder you with a battleaxe.

I insert a lit stick of dynamite.

Laharal
2016-02-16, 01:36 AM
You have fun! Tons of it :smallbiggrin:

I insert 2 glowing gems, the remains of a scrap metal golem, socks (not the same color) + your imagination.

Syldar
2016-02-16, 08:28 AM
You get Mettaton EX.

I insert a repeating crossbow crossbow crossbow.

Dudeons
2016-02-16, 12:10 PM
You get the Generic Half-Elven Dual-Class Ranger (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/01/27/episode-1087-exalted-feat/).

I insert a request for good anime.

Laughing Dog
2016-02-16, 10:14 PM
You get Neon Genesis Evangelion.

I insert three broken swords and a whole halberd.

Laharal
2016-02-16, 10:43 PM
You get a sentient whirlwind of blades!

I insert a mysterious coin of unknown origin, a candle, and a gem worth 5000 gp.

GuesssWho
2016-02-16, 11:00 PM
You get a head of lettuce, a Lesser Soul Gem, and some yarn.

I insert the Madgod's ramblings.

Graypairofsocks
2016-02-19, 05:19 AM
You get a head of lettuce, a Lesser Soul Gem, and some yarn.

I insert the Madgod's ramblings.

You get Azathoth, the blind idiot god.

I insert DIO.

backwaterj
2016-02-22, 02:34 PM
You get Celene DION.

I insert my head in an attempt to escape.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-22, 03:42 PM
You get a sphere of annihilation. It's a little too close for comfort, I'm afraid.

I insert a sparrow.

Dudeons
2016-02-22, 04:30 PM
You don't get jack.

I insert the soundtrack of RWBY.

eru001
2016-03-01, 04:33 PM
a giant scythe slices you into three equal segments which are then transported to a point where it tips, a point where it breaks, and a point where you just cant take it anymore

I insert the four tens of pies which Lex Luther stole.

Syldar
2016-03-02, 08:01 AM
You get a note saying that it was CAKES. Not pies.

I insert Luigi.

Prince Zahn
2016-03-02, 02:44 PM
A piranha plant extends out of the machine; it gets a bite out of you, literally.

I insert a massive roast dire duck for the gnomes to eat.

eru001
2016-03-03, 01:58 PM
you get one hundred roast duck sized horses

I insert a jar of mayonnaise

Dudeons
2016-03-03, 02:02 PM
You get a flea.

I give a damn. Directly into the vending machine.

Prince Zahn
2016-03-04, 10:31 AM
You get a rat's behind, tails sold separately.

I insert the 3 post rule. I have no need for it right now.:smalltongue:

backwaterj
2016-03-04, 11:06 AM
You get Banhammer 40K.

I insert my GM's lucky dice.

Syldar
2016-03-04, 10:04 PM
You get dice with blank faces.

I insert a diamond.

Dire Moose
2016-03-09, 10:25 AM
You get the starving child who was paid half a penny to mine it.

Yoda, I insert.

Prince Zahn
2016-03-09, 11:00 AM
Green eggs and ham, you get.

Normal grammar, I insert.

Syldar
2016-03-09, 12:16 PM
You get someone not from the internet.

I insert a creeper.

eru001
2016-03-09, 02:20 PM
you get blown to bits after a half second of hissing


I insert the bits.

backwaterj
2016-03-10, 10:32 AM
You get the bytes.

I insert the bites.

Dudeons
2016-03-10, 12:14 PM
You get the baits.

I insert Norman Bates.

@V: Presumably with an 'EEE! EEE! EEE! EEE!" sound, correct?

Dire Moose
2016-03-12, 02:30 PM
You get a knife. Delivered right to the face. (and correct, Dudeons.)

I insert an exploding kitten.

Prince Zahn
2016-03-12, 03:33 PM
You get Schrodinger's nuke.


I insert all the possible radioactivity from schrodinger's nuke.

backwaterj
2016-03-18, 01:18 AM
You get Heisenberg's Uncertainty Bioweapon in the face. Or do you?

I insert the entire sum of knowledge, philosophy, and culture of the human race to date.

Syldar
2016-03-18, 08:27 AM
You get a really frikin' big book.

I insert a pig.

Mister Tom
2016-04-04, 05:50 AM
You get a Kevin bacon plush doll.

I insert Orcus!

Professor Gnoll
2016-04-04, 05:53 AM
You get Orcus!
I insert the GITP forums.

Prince Zahn
2016-04-04, 06:53 AM
You get banned.

I insert nimble Momonga (face down, though)

Dire Moose
2016-04-04, 05:21 PM
The gnomes use it to summon like a million more which come pouring out of the machine and eat you.

I insert the vending machine into itself.

Mister Tom
2016-04-04, 05:45 PM
You get an inside out vending machine.

I insert a parchment with explosive runes on.

backwaterj
2016-04-04, 08:06 PM
You get a polite letter asking you to please phrase all correspondence in gnomish. Which then explodes.

I insert eggs, butter, flour, yeast, salt and just a touch of sugar.

Professor Gnoll
2016-04-04, 08:16 PM
You get a sloppy pile of gunk, filtered through the filthy interior workings of the Vending Machine, which by now has had all sorts of disgusting things shoved through it.

I insert one fish, then two fish, along with a red fish and finally a blue fish.

Prince Zahn
2016-04-05, 07:58 AM
You get an elephant bird. It flies away after it accidentally breaks your ribcage.

I insert everything I saw on Mulberry Street.

Mister Tom
2016-04-06, 04:24 AM
You belatedly realise that starting with your own feet was a bad idea. ( you get a two foot long pole.)


I insert a Bec de Corbin

Skald
2016-04-08, 04:55 AM
You get an actual raven's beak.


I insert portable hole.

Syldar
2016-04-08, 07:41 AM
You get a bag of holding.

I insert a munchkin. (The gamer archetype, not the little guys from "Wizard of Oz.")

eru001
2016-04-08, 08:33 PM
you get a box of munchkins (the dunkin doughnuts variety)

I insert the actual cannibal that is Shia Labeouf

Professor Gnoll
2016-04-09, 02:45 AM
Only his head emerges. It falls to the ground, expressionless.

I insert myself.

Prince Zahn
2016-04-09, 08:38 AM
You get returned to sender.

I insert my shelf....

Syldar
2016-04-09, 04:31 PM
You get someone else's shelf.

I insert a quantum physics book.

eru001
2016-04-10, 11:22 AM
you receive a physics student's notes from physics class today. I hope he doesn't need them.

I insert one angry physics student

backwaterj
2016-04-10, 01:41 PM
Albert Einstein's hand emerges from the machine, holding a ruler which he uses to rap you sharply on the knuckles.

I insert Normal, Illinois.

Mister Tom
2016-04-10, 05:36 PM
You get a normal citizen of Boring, Oregon.

I insert a mimic.

Skald
2016-04-11, 02:06 AM
You receive a mime.

I insert my favorite set of polyhedrals.

Professor Gnoll
2016-04-11, 02:15 AM
You get a natural 20.

I insert the complete works of Shakespeare.

Syldar
2016-04-11, 07:40 AM
You get a thousand monkeys on the same number of typewriters.

I insert a literal iron fist.

eru001
2016-04-11, 09:39 PM
you receive an iron boot

I insert a wooden nickel

Mister Tom
2016-04-12, 12:32 PM
You receive a mimic.

I insert a funnel and pour in half a pint of treacle.

Dire Moose
2016-04-12, 04:08 PM
You get diabetes.

I insert Nicolas Cage.

Skald
2016-04-12, 06:53 PM
You receive a cage made from nickel.

I insert my pants.

Professor Gnoll
2016-04-12, 07:27 PM
You receive an arrest for public indecency.

I insert a D&D Vending Machine.

Prince Zahn
2016-04-13, 02:58 AM
You get a WoD Vending Machine.

I insert a SoDA Vending Machine.

CrackedChair
2016-04-13, 09:14 PM
You get a SnAcK machine.

I insert my story in progress into the machine

Syldar
2016-04-14, 07:33 AM
You get a bad fanfiction written in gnomish.

I insert a plutonium dragon.

Professor Gnoll
2016-04-14, 10:10 AM
You get radiation poisoning.

I insert my soul.

CrackedChair
2016-04-14, 10:32 AM
You get a heart.

I insert a card, face down on the field.

Angsty Anubite
2016-04-14, 07:38 PM
You get a Mystical Space Typhoon (as well as an actual typhoon).

I insert two things: a plan, and not quite enough time.

Prince Zahn
2016-04-15, 06:58 AM
...

...

...

...

... You get flowers from the gas station 3 weeks later. The gnomes procrastinated, sorry.

I insert a koala bear plush toy.

eru001
2016-04-15, 09:31 AM
you receive a grizzly bear (non toy)

I insert $1.50

CrackedChair
2016-04-15, 10:08 AM
You receive a good time.

I insert Evilanagram's guides, A-Z

Dire Moose
2016-04-17, 01:58 PM
You get a guide to making good-sounding anagrams out of evil things.

I insert a giant ground sloth.

backwaterj
2016-04-19, 07:24 PM
You get a miniature sky vanity.

I insert a mole machine.

Syldar
2016-04-20, 07:28 AM
A dwarf planet made of a mole of moles appears somewhere.

I insert a d20.

Aniikinis
2016-04-20, 02:30 PM
You get a giant cheeseburger made of Icyhot, caltrops, and d4s with buns made of legos.

I insert a pickle.

CrackedChair
2016-04-20, 02:44 PM
You get Ozzie'd.

I insert flowers, to thank those crafty gnomes for their service.

TheOtherGorgias
2016-04-20, 06:46 PM
You get a note from the Worshipful Guild of Gnomish Tinkers and Vending Machine Operators, appreciative of your patronage.

I insert pen and ink.

backwaterj
2016-04-25, 12:44 AM
You get a feathered octopus.

I insert Vogon poetry.

Syldar
2016-04-25, 07:36 AM
You get a piece of paper that's scribbled all over, plus a note that says "NO MORE PLEASE GODS NO"

I insert something by Robert Frost.

Mister Tom
2016-04-28, 03:12 AM
You get a shakily written note saying AAAAH NO PLEASE NO EVEN MORE VOGONS. And some explosive runes.

I insert a towel.

Dire Moose
2016-04-28, 05:34 AM
You get the secret to life the universe, and everything.

I insert a stegosaurus.

backwaterj
2016-04-30, 06:44 AM
You get sudden but inevitable betrayal.

I insert two turntables and a microphone.

Prince Zahn
2016-05-02, 04:31 AM
... You get three turnstiles and a megaphone.


I insert a bottle of Famous Grouse... Just the bottle, I don't know where the rest of it is... *shifty eyes*

Libro
2016-05-02, 06:08 PM
You get a canned chicken.

I insert a box of stale snickerdoodles.

Laughing Dog
2016-05-09, 08:57 PM
You get a Scooby Snack.

I insert a Scooby.

Syldar
2016-05-10, 07:35 AM
You get a scrappy.

I insert a Scrappy, since no one wants that.

Asmodean_
2016-05-10, 12:51 PM
You get the Scrappy back, since not even the vending machine wants that.

I insert a bottle of cola.

ludoge
2016-05-10, 03:37 PM
You get a Pepsi.

I insert a Royale with Cheese.

Vivee
2016-05-10, 07:11 PM
You get a royale with milk.
I insert a Potion of Genderswap [+1 CHA -1 STR if user is Male, +1 STR -1 CHA if user is female.]

Prince Zahn
2016-05-11, 05:26 AM
You get an Oil of Shillelagh (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0443.html), (no, the other kind, the kind that REAL fighters use)

I insert a Vending Machine shaped cake,because I have a sense that one of the gnomes is having a birthday.

Johnny America
2016-05-11, 10:06 AM
You get a vending machine shaped thank you card, it seems your intuition was right.

I insert the minor atrocities we commit unknowingly every day

Mister Tom
2016-05-11, 05:07 PM
You get full knowledge of their consequences.

I insert a prism

Libro
2016-05-11, 07:53 PM
You get a kaleidoscope.

I insert 3 books of jokes, a cup of good humor and a pinch of sarcasm.

Syldar
2016-05-12, 07:36 AM
You get a book by Robin Williams.

I insert a really, really big sword.

Asmodean_
2016-05-12, 10:32 AM
You get the sword back.

At high velocity.

I put in a good natured comment.

Prince Zahn
2016-05-12, 01:21 PM
You get a train wreck of a misunderstanding.

I insert a literal train wreck.... Somehow, probably with telekinesis, I have a scroll for it, but it's a little risky unless ai find a stronger mage to use it.

Vivee
2016-05-13, 04:43 PM
You get the skull of the conductor.

I insert a Vending Machine

backwaterj
2016-05-17, 05:31 AM
You get a jkhero73 inserted into your open mouth.

I insert the Semi-Elemental Plane of Ranch Dressing.

Libro
2016-05-17, 05:52 AM
You get a dominated kobold, and a cat with bowel issues.

I insert a thank you note to thank the gnomes that maintain this wonderful machine.

Asmodean_
2016-05-17, 12:44 PM
You get a phone number.

I put in a grenade. :smallbiggrin:

The-lost-Byte
2016-05-17, 01:22 PM
you get it back... whitout stick!

i insert a stone, that i found on the ground.

backwaterj
2016-05-18, 01:35 PM
You get a handful of gravel and a note saying: "It was pregnant. We hope you can take care of these."

I insert a dastardly and diabolical plan.

Prince Zahn
2016-05-19, 06:20 AM
You get 1d6 meddling kids and 1d3-1 little dogs, too, who foiled the plan.

Speaking of which,
I insert one big happy family.

Asmodean_
2016-05-19, 12:35 PM
They are never seen again. There doesn't seem to be any sign of a struggle, so it looks like it's pretty they'd rather stay there.

I put in myself to see where they went.

The-lost-Byte
2016-05-19, 12:53 PM
you got internal happieness, but the veddingmachine puttet out a rennting bill...

i insert a lawyer, i don't want to pay for anotherones happieness!

backwaterj
2016-05-20, 01:48 AM
You somehow end up owing the gnomes alimony and child support, plus a generous stipend for physical and psychological trauma.

I insert the Bizarro-Gnomes from Vending Machine II.

Libro
2016-05-20, 05:59 AM
You get a Bizarro-backwaterj, and 1d3+2 angry badgers.


I insert kryptonite, of every possible color.

Vivee
2016-05-20, 12:07 PM
You get a jkhero73 inserted into your open mouth.
I was laughing so hard at that! XD

You get the Kryptonite back, with a note that says: "Never do this again."

I insert a rift in spacetime.

Dire Moose
2016-05-20, 09:38 PM
You get an evil version of yourself with a goatee.

I insert stuff.

Asmodean_
2016-05-21, 08:43 AM
You get things.

I insert things.

backwaterj
2016-05-21, 11:35 AM
You get a substance.

I insert a man of substance.

Prince Zahn
2016-05-22, 12:43 AM
You get a person with depth.


I insert that depth, and the person with it.

Vivee
2016-05-27, 08:17 PM
You get a plot line.
I insert a lute!

Asmodean_
2016-05-28, 12:22 PM
You get loot.

I insert a homophone.

Libro
2016-05-28, 03:46 PM
You get a synonym.

I insert cinnamon.

Vivee
2016-05-28, 04:17 PM
You get a spoon.

I insert 🕈✋☠☝ 👎✋☠☝💧.

The-lost-Byte
2016-05-29, 02:51 AM
you get gaster

i insert the core and trow gaster inside it.

Vivee
2016-06-09, 07:19 PM
You get the hidden backstory of Gaster.
I insert something to get the topic off of Undertale.

backwaterj
2016-06-10, 02:53 AM
You get profound relief.

I insert Underdog UnderoosTM

Prince Zahn
2016-06-10, 03:15 PM
You get a hot dog on the loose (https://youtu.be/e1HjLwDu7-M)

I insert a warthog and a goose

Vivee
2016-06-15, 02:10 PM
You get Skyward Sword, but the main character is a warthog.

I insert this guy.
http://topperguru.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Successful-Businessman-Banne-Ke-Liye-Kya-Gun-Hone-Chahiye-businesman-kaise-bane-tips-wallpapers-images-pics.jpg

Mister Tom
2016-06-15, 03:40 PM
You get an invisible crucifix.

I insert a mini roundabout

Black Socks
2016-06-16, 07:02 AM
You get a mini train.

I insert a pair of black socks.

Prince Zahn
2016-06-16, 12:03 PM
You get 1d6 White Sox fans

I insert a white collar crime

thoroughlyS
2016-06-16, 07:23 PM
You get ten years, no parole.

I insert a filled character sheet.

Libro
2016-06-16, 08:24 PM
You get hand-drawn portrait of said character.

I insert The Homebrewer's Extended Signature thread.

backwaterj
2016-06-17, 02:54 AM
You get a shameless plug and a quickly-emptying shameful drain.

I insert Charlemagne's liver.

Black Socks
2016-06-18, 04:08 PM
You get some seasoned goose liver.

I insert a pair of sunglasses.

thoroughlyS
2016-06-20, 06:53 PM
You receive a small slip of paper, on which the words "DE AL WITH IT" are stamped.

I insert a dank meme.

Prince Zahn
2016-06-23, 04:11 AM
You get a pile of danker memes.


I insert a dank mom.

Dire Moose
2016-06-23, 04:13 AM
You get a dank baby.

I insert a double-bladed crossguard lightsaber.

Syldar
2016-06-23, 10:02 AM
You get a very over complicated weapon.

I insert 3,872 orcs.

Black Socks
2016-06-23, 11:21 AM
You get a guy with a chainsaw and a giant hammer.

I insert a CYOA book.

Trevortni
2016-06-23, 09:23 PM
You receive a CMYK book.

I insert the certainty that I am right.

backwaterj
2016-06-25, 11:27 AM
You get the truth.

I insert a B-17 bomber.

thoroughlyS
2016-06-27, 05:47 PM
You receive a Boeing 747.

I insert recursion.

Vivee
2016-07-02, 02:36 PM
http://i.imgur.com/RGTghgT.png
You get a used band-aid.


I insert a google search.

Trevortni
2016-07-05, 05:17 PM
You get 50,000 results that almost, but don't quite actually come anywhere near addressing your query; 50 links to shadow copies of one original post asking your identical question and being condescendingly told to google it; and also some ads that you could have just as easily received via email.

I insert my rage against the machine.

Black Socks
2016-07-05, 05:27 PM
You get some robot-prescribed calming pills.

I insert the universe.

Libro
2016-07-06, 06:54 AM
You get a snow globe.


I insert a cake for the wonderful gnomes that run this machine.

Vivee
2016-07-06, 05:39 PM
A gnome crawls out of the machine and hands you a thank you card.

I insert the alignment chart with Chaotic Good circled.

Syldar
2016-07-07, 09:17 AM
You get a rebel helmet.

I insert a liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

Black Socks
2016-07-08, 06:01 PM
You get a cup that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a teacup.

I insert a laugh track.

Vivee
2016-07-10, 01:11 PM
You get canned laughter. Like, laughter, inside of a can.

I insert a bad font that hurts to read.

Miranda
2016-07-10, 08:05 PM
I insert a bad font that hurts to read.

You are invited to a lecture series on the history of typography. One of the lectures is titled "Can Comic Sans MS be Saved?"

You insert A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

Mister Tom
2016-07-11, 01:47 PM
You get Burn before reading: 1001 great put-downs by history's shining wits.

I insert a subordinate clause.

Black Socks
2016-07-11, 05:08 PM
You get an angry employee.

I insert the Lost Mines of Phandelvar adventure.

Libro
2016-07-21, 06:23 AM
You get a thank-you note from the gnomes for their new break room activity.


I insert a scroll of Meteor Swarm.

Prince Zahn
2016-07-21, 06:42 AM
You get a novelty gun that, upon pulling the trigger, functions as a cigarette lighter.

I insert an Apology note for not having something interesting to offer, as well with 1d100 boxes of candy.

GuesssWho
2016-07-26, 06:25 AM
You get 1d100 apology notes.

I insert a wendigo.

Black Socks
2016-08-01, 04:59 PM
You get a scared child hiding under the bed covers.

I insert a refrigerator magnet.