PDA

View Full Version : Punning at the Table



kjones
2007-05-26, 06:29 PM
We've had a couple of real stinkers at my table in the past few weeks that I wanted to share.

First of all, our ranger just got his hands on Animal Friendship, but since they were in an urban area at the time, had to wait a little bit before he could find a companion. Of course, I've forgotten all this by the next session, but the second they got out of the city, he was rarin' to go.

Me: All right, you're approaching the farmland and foothills surrounding the city.
Him: While we travel, I'm looking around for wolf prints.
Me: (not really listening) You're not going to find the wolf prince just by looking.
Him: Why not? I'm a ranger!
Me: (getting exasperated, this player is always trying to push the rules) All wolves look the same to you. You're not going to be able to identify their prince by sight.
Him: Can I at least roll for it?
Me: No.
Him: (rolls) I got a 26!
Me: (starting to lose it) Look, you think the wolf prince wears a f---ing crown? Tell me how your character is going to pick him out.

Then we figured it out. Laughter all around, etc. Easily one of my best moments at the table. Others have involved "peripat/parapet" and "loot/lute"... anyone else have something to share?

Mr the Geoff
2007-05-26, 07:15 PM
After rolling ramdom loot on a random encounter...

DM: ...and four candles
Me: Fork handles?

*dm sprays his mouthful of tea all over the table*
(turned out he is a huge fan of the 2 Ronnies)

Lemur
2007-05-26, 07:33 PM
From the PC Stupidity thread, but it's probably more appropriate here. This is from a game my brother played in and told me about.


One of the three PCs decides to get some information about the next adventure by going to fortune teller. The fortune teller gazes into her crystal ball, and after a while shrieks in terror, "It's abominable! Abonimable!" and runs from her gypsy tent.

The party then sets out, going through several trials and adventures, and more or less forgetting about the prediction, or assuming that one of the creatures the faced qualified as being abominable. While traveling one day though, they come across a field of cows. The cows are actually scattered on the road as well, and aren't really moving around either.

The PC who went to the fortune teller way back when is curious, but my brother and the third PC are suspicious, and decide to hang back. The curious PC though, walks up to one of the cows and pokes it.

A giant fireball is released, resulting in hideous firey pain for the one PC. While he stands around looking burnt and confused, the DM turns to him, with a huge grin on his face and says:

"It's A Bomb In A Bull"

Runa
2007-05-27, 12:17 AM
We had found four silver goblets on a previous quest, which the DM said were worth several hundred gold apiece. Two were broken though, but our Rogue decided he wanted to keep them "to chuck at monsters" (he's found of picking up strange objects, like werewolf ashes and broken tableware, to use as improvised weapons).

Several game nights later, after a completely different quest and about to rest for a night before going off on another new adventure, our wizard/cleric, deciding to do something nice for said Rogue and having nothing else to do after gaining some new spells after a leveling up, told us he was going to cast Make Whole on one of the Rogue's broken goblets.

It took the Rogue, DM and I (but oddly, not our other two, allegedly less-smart players) a minute to realize he wasn't talking about making some sort of magical hole in the goblet. The table was laughing for a solid minute at that.