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View Full Version : Gamer Humor Least likely job for an Elf?



ThinkMinty
2015-11-03, 10:15 AM
Out of boredness, I'm wondering what the least likely job for an elf would be, mostly in a 20th/21st century context.

Segev
2015-11-03, 10:20 AM
WWF wrestler?

It's not an easy question to answer, because really, elves can do anything humans do.

CombatBunny
2015-11-03, 10:23 AM
Way too easy:

Butcher

Mindtour
2015-11-03, 10:28 AM
Lumberjack.

Mastikator
2015-11-03, 10:29 AM
CEO of an oil company.

nedz
2015-11-03, 10:52 AM
CEO of an oil company.

Are you sure about that ?
https://sp.yimg.com/xj/th?id=OIP.M89ff424a853c7beb7da3b1440ea5af19o0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300

Anyway: Miner.

AdmiralCheez
2015-11-03, 10:56 AM
Demolitions expert
Genetic engineer
Robotics technician

TheOOB
2015-11-03, 11:24 AM
Body Builder.

thorgrim29
2015-11-03, 11:29 AM
Nurse/attendant at an old folks home

LibraryOgre
2015-11-03, 11:29 AM
So much depends on what you mean by "elf". Shadowrun elves have jobs that run the gamut, from shaman to rigger to CEO of giant corporations.

Thisguy_
2015-11-03, 11:33 AM
To say he likely means elves in the context of D&D's default fluff would be a reasonable assumption.

Here's a short list:
Hazardous Materials Specialist
Plumber ("It's-a-me, Earynspieir!")
Janitor
Rodeo Clown
Sumo Wrestler

(Un)Inspired
2015-11-03, 12:53 PM
Toy maker.

DigoDragon
2015-11-03, 12:54 PM
Mascot stunt double for the Keebler Company.

Eldan
2015-11-03, 01:36 PM
Well, they lack constitution, so.... marathon runner. Drug tester. Sewage treatment plant worker.

Aetol
2015-11-03, 01:45 PM
Way too easy:

Butcher

Ever heard of Bosmer ?

Red Fel
2015-11-03, 01:48 PM
Musician.

http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080917091525/metalocalypse/images/8/86/Main_epic.gif

... Real musician.

Jay R
2015-11-03, 01:54 PM
Statistician

TheTeaMustFlow
2015-11-03, 01:57 PM
MP.
They're all in the House of Lords, naturally.

J-H
2015-11-03, 02:17 PM
President for Life in a banana republic.

Cluedrew
2015-11-03, 03:02 PM
Plumber ("It's-a-me, Earynspieir!")
Sewage treatment plant worker.

When I saw it this is the one I went for. It is very not elfish but it is not anti-elfish, so you wouldn't end up there by rebellion, nor is it something that really strikes me as something that a desperate elf would turn to because it does require some training. Also it is a job associated with enclosed spaces which is something elves are not big one.

Cackling Poop
2015-11-03, 04:15 PM
Probably an office job where the elf must sit inside all day, thus going against their natural inclination for wanderlust. Bonus points if they're working for a company that destroys nature for profit.

On the other side, much more likely jobs for an elf would be:
Male Elf: Comedian, Songwriter, Author, or Archery Instructor at a kids' camp.
Female Elf: Super model.

Jelly d6
2015-11-03, 04:24 PM
Wanderlust?

Taxi driver.

TheTeaMustFlow
2015-11-03, 09:27 PM
President for Life in a banana republic.

Yeah, any elven despot worth his salt is wearing a crown, thank you very much.

goto124
2015-11-03, 09:30 PM
On the other side, much more likely jobs for an elf would be:
Male Elf: Comedian, Songwriter, Author, or Archery Instructor at a kids' camp.
Female Elf: Super model.

Which setting are you going off? I haven't heard of one that treats male and female elves like separate beings. Isn't it usually the opposite? (http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/DFE_520.png)

Ralanr
2015-11-03, 09:31 PM
Professional weight lifter.

Olympic level.

Honest Tiefling
2015-11-03, 09:34 PM
Which setting are you going off? I haven't heard of one that treats male and female elves like separate beings. Isn't it usually the opposite? (http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/DFE_520.png)

...So, uh, yeah, turns out that the elf on the covers of 3rd edition Forgotten Realms books is not actually female. Took me a few years to figure that one out.

I also cannot imagine an elf taking care of human children. Those things just keep going and going...They'd pass out after two hours of chasing after them.

Hawkstar
2015-11-03, 09:46 PM
Yeah, any elven despot worth his salt is wearing a crown, thank you very much.

But... my El Presidente of Tropico was The King! He even had the white suit with rhinestones, and blue suede shoes!

Pex
2015-11-03, 10:23 PM
Public relations.

Children's television show host.

Racial ability score penalties are no longer a thing, but since from when they were it is the snobbish, arrogant elves who should have had the Charisma penalty, not dwarves. I have never met a DM who portrayed elves differently, and that includes those in my current Pathfinder group.

Honest Tiefling
2015-11-03, 10:29 PM
Racial ability score penalties are no longer a thing, but since from when they were it is the snobbish, arrogant elves who should have had the Charisma penalty, not dwarves. I have never met a DM who portrayed elves differently, and that includes those in my current Pathfinder group.

Well. I've seen murderous wild elves that live in trees and ambush others. That's...Different, right?

I think I want to see an elf in face paint and dressed in leathers stalking around a national park jumping out of the bushes screaming at people not to leave bacon wrappers in their car.

Fable Wright
2015-11-04, 12:08 AM
Well. I've seen murderous wild elves that live in trees and ambush others. That's...Different, right?

I think I want to see an elf in face paint and dressed in leathers stalking around a national park jumping out of the bushes screaming at people not to leave bacon wrappers in their car.

...I'm far too tired, I read this as an elf in face paint and dressed up in bacon jumping out of bushes screaming at people not to leave their leather wrappers in their car. Which I then parsed as 'elf dressed in bacon telling people to take their leather seats out of the car and return them to mother nature! Where they belong!'

Not sure whether I want to see this or not.

Honest Tiefling
2015-11-04, 12:08 AM
...I'm far too tired, I read this as an elf in face paint and dressed up in bacon jumping out of bushes screaming at people not to leave their leather wrappers in their car. Which I then parsed as 'elf dressed in bacon telling people to take their leather seats out of the car and return them to mother nature! Where they belong!'

Not sure whether I want to see this or not.

Welp, I now have my next character concept for DnD. Thanks!

goto124
2015-11-04, 02:10 AM
You mean Shadowrun?


I also cannot imagine an elf taking care of human children. Those things just keep going and going...They'd pass out after two hours of chasing after them.

I'm a human and I cannot imagine myself taking care of human children. Those things just keep going and going... I'd pass out after two minutes of chasing after them.

:smalltongue:


...So, uh, yeah, turns out that the elf on the covers of 3rd edition Forgotten Realms books is not actually female. Took me a few years to figure that one out.

Which cover? Google search isn't helping much. The closest I found was this (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/47/cc/04/47cc04de0455793a4cd8784ea43385b1.jpg).

Poll Comics
2015-11-04, 02:24 AM
Social worker for a predominantly dwarven part of town.

Astronaut (talk about being far from nature...)

Megachurch Televangelist

Kami2awa
2015-11-04, 03:46 AM
Elven Safety Inspector.

Sorry, it had to be done.

Sock model.

Earthwalker
2015-11-04, 06:41 AM
Nurse/attendant at an old folks home

Presumably a place run by the national elf service......what ?

Seto
2015-11-04, 06:42 AM
Plastic surgeon for humans, specialized in ears.

nedz
2015-11-04, 07:54 AM
I think I want to see an elf in face paint and dressed in leathers stalking around a national park jumping out of the bushes screaming at people not to leave bacon wrappers in their car.

I've seen this, well not the bacon wrappers bit — swords and bows instead. I used to LARP with a bunch of elves and some of the interactions with the general public where hilarious.

Kitten Champion
2015-11-04, 08:27 AM
Depends how they'd deal with Elven pensions. I mean I can't see them paying out for next to eternity for a human working life's worth of employment, so you'd probably have work a comparable length in Elven years, which is a horrifying prospect in and of itself.

Also have to deal with the prospect that the people in the positions you could be realistically promoted to could also be Elves, in which case you could be stuck as, for instance, assistant manager in some retail outlet store for centuries.

nedz
2015-11-04, 08:37 AM
Depends how they'd deal with Elven pensions. I mean I can't see them paying out for next to eternity for a human working life's worth of employment, so you'd probably have work a comparable length in Elven years, which is a horrifying prospect in and of itself.

Also have to deal with the prospect that the people in the positions you could be realistically promoted to could also be Elves, in which case you could be stuck as, for instance, assistant manager in some retail outlet store for centuries.

You could sell Pensions and Life Assurance to Elves — you just need a mortality table. If elves are actually immortal in the setting then life expectancy is down to accident and disease — which can be calculated. Now I haven't run the numbers but the return on premiums will be small but there again they can pay them over many years. The issue is going to be one of financial stability and longevity of the financial institutions: Elves would be better off investing in property.

Hawkstar
2015-11-04, 08:39 AM
Social worker for a predominantly dwarven part of town.

Astronaut (talk about being far from nature...)

Megachurch Televangelist
Actually, elves get along with those jobs pretty well.

Dwarven Social Worker elf is motivated to help the 'less fortunate' races out of a sense of High Elf's Burden.

Elves are as close to nature as the Moon already - distant observers and (in some interpretations) guardians that shape it while being completely detached from it. Besides - being that high up allows them to look down on EVERYONE!

They really fit the Larger-Than-Life televangelist persona, and get bonus points if they're nondenominational.

DigoDragon
2015-11-04, 09:06 AM
You mean Shadowrun?

I was just thinking that. :smallbiggrin:



I'm a human and I cannot imagine myself taking care of human children. Those things just keep going and going... I'd pass out after two minutes of chasing after them.

As a professional father, I can vouch for the amount of time investment one needs just to raise one of these. Luckily mine can be momentarily distracted with a shiny tablet game. ;)

Corsair
2015-11-04, 09:11 AM
Garbage man, easy. An Elf driving around picking up dumpsters would have to be the lowest point for their people.

Ralanr
2015-11-04, 09:19 AM
Garbage man, easy. An Elf driving around picking up dumpsters would have to be the lowest point for their people.

Janitor. I can't imagine an elf enjoying cleaning after others.

No offense to anyone that is a janitor.

goto124
2015-11-04, 10:07 AM
@nedz & Hawkstar: Is that assuming elves are a well-known race that's as accepted as the humans?

Spore
2015-11-04, 01:19 PM
Worker in a car factory.

Monotonous work that requires stamina, the product destroys nature and he never gets to see nature during his work.

Honest Tiefling
2015-11-04, 03:55 PM
Which cover? Google search isn't helping much.

The one on the cover of Lost Empires of Faerun, and on the Player's Guide fighting Manshoon. Yeah. Not female.

Strigon
2015-11-04, 04:01 PM
As a professional father, I can vouch for the amount of time investment one needs just to raise one of these. Luckily mine can be momentarily distracted with a shiny tablet game. ;)

As an aside, at what age did/will you begin indoctrinating exposing them to ponies?

Raimun
2015-11-04, 07:53 PM
Malboro Man.

goto124
2015-11-04, 09:04 PM
The one on the cover of Lost Empires of Faerun, and on the Player's Guide fighting Manshoon. Yeah. Not female.

Lost Empires of Faerun (http://d3by36x8sj6cra.cloudfront.net/assets/images/book/large/9780/7869/9780786936540.jpg), Fighting Manshoon (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a4YeuHPrS1A/T-x1wT6JM6I/AAAAAAAAAdY/gP4PpvhZ6_E/s1600/Wrath+of+Manshoon+1280+x+436.jpg)?

That's a rather luxurious head of long shiny blond hair.

chainer1216
2015-11-04, 10:52 PM
Coal miner

Ralanr
2015-11-04, 11:31 PM
Lost Empires of Faerun (http://d3by36x8sj6cra.cloudfront.net/assets/images/book/large/9780/7869/9780786936540.jpg), Fighting Manshoon (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a4YeuHPrS1A/T-x1wT6JM6I/AAAAAAAAAdY/gP4PpvhZ6_E/s1600/Wrath+of+Manshoon+1280+x+436.jpg)?

That's a rather luxurious head of long shiny blond hair.

Is that guy using a polearm and a shield? Or am I seeing that wrong?

Mr. Mask
2015-11-05, 12:44 AM
Nurse/attendant at an old folks home Thildagram enjoyed his stay among the human of Gredale, and worked as a teacher for their children. Thildagram, though he was 40 years old, had the vigour of a young man, and always sought to learn and teach. Soon, one class was not enough, and he begun to spend all his time teaching. He took personal attention to their students, knowing all their names and becoming close with each of them. He grew so close to them, that he begun to wonder how they were doing when they moved on to later years. So, he decided to follow them, spending his days off teaching senior years, all the way up to college. The students began to see Thildagram as a second father, and those he taught surpassed many in their fields. But though they tried to keep in contact with Thildagram, he heard increasingly little from them.

Years passed, and Thildagram taught many groups of students, tutoring them as if they were his own children. But ever he would wonder about those first children he still remembered, who he taught so long ago.... until one day, he had an idea. He got some leave from his schooling duties and took yet another new job, but this one was not to teach. At Gredale's Institution of Care for the Elderly. There, in their last days, he met many of his students, and heard all about their lives in the years they were gone from him. What once was a dreary and unwholesome place came to life from the elf's attention, and he was companion to his children even to their death. This came at a price.

For each heartfelt reunion, Thildagram attended another funeral. His spirit waned, and soon he began cancelling classes, spending increasingly more time with his aged students. He grew weaker as he spent more time with them, learning to discern the signs that death was coming. Soon, he was more like a patient than a worker, becoming unable to teach. Finally, at the young age of 175, Thildagram was bedridden. All his remaining students, young and old, and many of the surviving school faculty and the family of those people, came to see him in his last days. It wasn't that he had grown old. He just... faded away.

A commemoration stands in Gredale, at each of the schools Thildagram worked. And for many years after, people went to visit Gredale's Institution of Care for the Elderly; both in honour of Thildagram, and so they could hear stories about him from those who knew him before he died. Before the owner of institution passed away, and with permission from the relatives of Thildagram, he renamed the place: Thildagram's Home for Senior Students.


That is the tale of Thildragram.

Ralanr
2015-11-05, 12:50 AM
Thildagram enjoyed his stay among the human of Gredale, and worked as a teacher for their children. Thildagram, though he was 40 years old, had the vigour of a young man, and always sought to learn and teach. Soon, one class was not enough, and he begun to spend all his time teaching. He took personal attention to their students, knowing all their names and becoming close with each of them. He grew so close to them, that he begun to wonder how they were doing when they moved on to later years. So, he decided to follow them, spending his days off teaching senior years, all the way up to college. The students began to see Thildagram as a second father, and those he taught surpassed many in their fields. But though they tried to keep in contact with Thildagram, he heard increasingly little from them.

Years passed, and Thildagram taught many groups of students, tutoring them as if they were his own children. But ever he would wonder about those first children he still remembered, who he taught so long ago.... until one day, he had an idea. He got some leave from his schooling duties and took yet another new job, but this one was not to teach. At Gredale's Institution of Care for the Elderly. There, in their last days, he met many of his students, and heard all about their lives in the years they were gone from him. What once was a dreary and unwholesome place came to life from the elf's attention, and he was companion to his children even to their death. This came at a price.

For each heartfelt reunion, Thildagram attended another funeral. His spirit waned, and soon he began cancelling classes, spending increasingly more time with his aged students. He grew weaker as he spent more time with them, learning to discern the signs that death was coming. Soon, he was more like a patient than a worker, becoming unable to teach. Finally, at the young age of 175, Thildagram was bedridden. All his remaining students, young and old, and many of the surviving school faculty and the family of those people, came to see him in his last days. It wasn't that he had grown old. He just... faded away.

A commemoration stands in Gredale, at each of the schools Thildagram worked. And for many years after, people went to visit Gredale's Institution of Care for the Elderly; both in honour of Thildagram, and so they could hear stories about him from those who knew him before he died. Before the owner of institution passed away, and with permission from the relatives of Thildagram, he renamed the place: Thildagram's Home for Senior Students.


That is the tale of Thildragram.

That was beautiful.

I do not envy the elf who loves a human. I do not envy those who live beyond the ones they love.

goto124
2015-11-05, 01:10 AM
Is that guy using a polearm and a shield? Or am I seeing that wrong?

The guy/gal using a polearm and a shield to fight the giant skeletal thing? He/she is using both arms to hold the axe, and the shield is just floating there... maybe it belongs to one of the skeletons?

I need to steal the not-lady elf's look for my magic swordsmaster elf PC. Even has the right hair!

Mr. Mask
2015-11-05, 03:15 AM
That was beautiful.

I do not envy the elf who loves a human. I do not envy those who live beyond the ones they love. Thanks.

Elves have a decent mechanism for that in some lore. If they get too sad, they die. Seems a merciful end.




WWF Wrestler: Don't they have a couple of lithe guys in those? A couple of resident elves might be popular, although getting them interested in the sport might be difficult. They may enjoy the acting and theatre of it, potentially.

Butcher: That's a good one, though butchers have been so common throughout history that it seems unlikely the elves won't have some butchery culture (if they started to intermingle with humans and such, they may prefer to let humans handle it).

Lumberjack: Being foresters known to work with a lot of wood, they're probably very skilled lumberjacks.

CEO of an Oil Company: Dwarves certainly are more likely to have CEOs in these areas, though I still expect elves to have enough economic and diplomatic advantages that they'd have a number of CEOs of such pursuits. They might be less common than humans, despite having said advantages.

Demolitions expert, Genetic engineer, Robotics technician: In Tolkien's work and several others, elves are known for being ahead of the curve technologically, and being great craftsmen and alchemists (advanced medicines and the like). That combined with their affinity for animals and plants, I figure they'd excel in all the mentioned fields.

Comedian: I have trouble imagining an elf being a modern comedian. They seem like they might be good for the serious-looking fellow who says silly things without cracking a smile, like some older British comedians.

Archery Instructor at a kids' camp: Interestingly, elves might dislike that position. Such children rarely are committed to seriously learn the art of the bow, and compared to elven teens they might be pretty mischievous. It might be more likely to get someone instructed by elves who is a fan of elf culture, similar to some of the fans of Japanese culture teaching Japanese arts to the mainstream west.

Elven Model: The interesting thing with that, is if they really enjoyed it, they wouldn't have the issue of getting too old for the job--for over a hundred years. Fans of the fashion industry would probably find this an interesting concept, to wonder how Marilyn Monroe would do today competing against whoever is currently popular. Models who embodied past fads trying to hang on in a world that's moving on. And the question of whether someone who is around for a hundred years will, despite retaining their youth and beauty, get boring for the audiences or become a foundation to the future of the fashion industry.

Janitors and garbage men: Interestingly, though these are considered low jobs in western society, elves would probably consider keeping their environment clean and to high standards important work. Even so, it's probably mean less elven garbage-men, and more planners and infrastructure to make sure there isn't too much waste and litter.

Child rearing: Though elf children are probably less rambunctious, I don't see elves as being bad child rearers. They're likely to be patient, swift if they really need to run down a child, have a lot of experience if they've had much to do with children before, and there are indications they might be fond of children. Being able to and enjoying singing, telling stories, and games would also make them fine candidates for entertaining the children. So long as the elves-aren't over-patient, they're also likely to be good at disciplining children appropriately.

Children's television show host: I figure they might be good at this, for the same reasons as above.

Public relations: In many GM portrayals of elves, they wouldn't be good at much of anything, really. Snobbish, arrogant, yet not actually that much better. Lore wise, elves should be great at public relations.

DM of Darkness: Everyone needs to see this.

Astronaut: Some elves seemed to be adventurous, which combined with their technological edge seems to indicate they might make reasonable spacefarers. At the same time, I can see them not being too interested in leaving Earth to sit around in 0-G.

veti
2015-11-05, 04:28 AM
Social worker. Marriage guidance counsellor. Priest. Detective, or police officer. Confidence trickster. Basically, anything that requires empathy and a decent grasp of (human) psychology.

Mr. Mask
2015-11-05, 07:34 AM
Depends if you're referring to elves who work in elven societies or human societies. I'm not sure if the psychology would be so different that elves couldn't become skilled in most fields. Certainly, if an elf pursued such a field, they could get an amazing breadth of experience that could make them very skilled psychologists.

CombatBunny
2015-11-05, 09:30 AM
Ever heard of Bosmer ?

Wow! We always learn something new =) Thanx!

ThinkMinty
2015-11-05, 09:59 AM
Elven Model: The interesting thing with that, is if they really enjoyed it, they wouldn't have the issue of getting too old for the job--for over a hundred years. Fans of the fashion industry would probably find this an interesting concept, to wonder how Marilyn Monroe would do today competing against whoever is currently popular. Models who embodied past fads trying to hang on in a world that's moving on. And the question of whether someone who is around for a hundred years will, despite retaining their youth and beauty, get boring for the audiences or become a foundation to the future of the fashion industry.

The ones who stuck around would get very good, almost prescient, at predicting trends and adapting ahead of time.


Janitors and garbage men: Interestingly, though these are considered low jobs in western society, elves would probably consider keeping their environment clean and to high standards important work. Even so, it's probably mean less elven garbage-men, and more planners and infrastructure to make sure there isn't too much waste and litter.

I can see elves making sure the landfill allows the rot to become growth, but the elves who need the work would probably still take it; since not all elves have family money to fall back on. They could even be better about using menial jobs as stepping stones, since with a longer lifespan they can take a less packed schedule day to day without it costing them in the long-term, and employers wouldn't be as annoyed about turnover if that turnover takes a couple decades to play out.


Child rearing: Though elf children are probably less rambunctious, I don't see elves as being bad child rearers. They're likely to be patient, swift if they really need to run down a child, have a lot of experience if they've had much to do with children before, and there are indications they might be fond of children. Being able to and enjoying singing, telling stories, and games would also make them fine candidates for entertaining the children. So long as the elves-aren't over-patient, they're also likely to be good at disciplining children appropriately.

I always figured elf children were more rambunctious, because they're better at the eavesdropping.

Mr. Mask
2015-11-05, 11:24 AM
Models: Good at predicting or setting/popularizing the fashions, yeah. The question being whether the kids of today would consider the model/singer/celebrity less cool because their grand parents are/were fans.

Garbage Men: Elves needing the work is part of the question. Elves stereotypically have low population growth, and are known for being skilled workers. So low-skill low-pay positions don't really fit that model. And living for a few hundred years, most people don't want to be a garbage man that long.

Strigon
2015-11-05, 11:34 AM
Social worker. Marriage guidance counsellor. Priest. Detective, or police officer. Confidence trickster. Basically, anything that requires empathy and a decent grasp of (human) psychology.

I disagree; first of all, there's no reason elvish societies wouldn't have those jobs. Secondly, in many settings, elves are wiser than humans - which would help with all of those - and they often have magic as well. Divinations and mind-reading would be a huge advantage.

Alent
2015-11-05, 12:44 PM
Hmm... things I'd least expect to see an elf doing...

Captain of an ICBM equipped Nuclear Submarine.

Metal Welder for a Nuclear power plant company.

Underground nuclear waste disposal technician.

Giving a Dwarf's unwashed beard a good shampooing. (See: Dungeon Meshi)

Lord Torath
2015-11-06, 04:55 PM
Astronaut (talk about being far from nature...)Ever hear of the Imperial Elven Navy (www.spelljammer.org/npcs/ien/)?

goto124
2015-11-06, 09:41 PM
Spelljammer? Spelljammer.

Talakeal
2015-11-07, 01:28 AM
You know, every time I watch Lord of the Rings I have to ask myself "Who actually does all the work?"

All of the elves appear to be wealthy nobles who spend their days surrounded by luxury, but I never actually see them doing any work, and the way elves are presented I can't imagine that there is a whole caste of elf serfs supporting them hiding just off screen.

goto124
2015-11-07, 01:38 AM
They enslave other races, of course.

Ralanr
2015-11-07, 02:57 AM
You know, every time I watch Lord of the Rings I have to ask myself "Who actually does all the work?"

All of the elves appear to be wealthy nobles who spend their days surrounded by luxury, but I never actually see them doing any work, and the way elves are presented I can't imagine that there is a whole caste of elf serfs supporting them hiding just off screen.

They enslave other races, of course.

Seems about right. Mainly orcs.

Mr. Mask
2015-11-07, 09:35 AM
You know, every time I watch Lord of the Rings I have to ask myself "Who actually does all the work?"

All of the elves appear to be wealthy nobles who spend their days surrounded by luxury, but I never actually see them doing any work, and the way elves are presented I can't imagine that there is a whole caste of elf serfs supporting them hiding just off screen.


They enslave other races, of course.


Seems about right. Mainly orcs. I see no problem with this.

Eldan
2015-11-07, 06:21 PM
In Lord of the Rings, we only get maybe half a dozen elven characters with names and speaking roles, though. And they all are nobles. Legolas, Elrond, Arwen, Galadriel, etc. are al royalty. We get a few more appearances of people who seem to be soldiers and servants to that royalty, but it focuses on the royals.

But that seems to be a general feature of LotR. I mean, how many Gondorian carpenters are we introduced to?


This reminds me of this setting element idea I once had where all the common tropes about various races are somewhat racist human misconceptions about those races.

For dwarves, travelling is a bit taboo. One is supposed to stay home and work for the clan. So those elves humans meet are either exiles who have been kicked out for being violent drunks or travelling merchants and master craftsmen on their way to crafts fairs, hence the greedy stereotype.

Elves, on the other hand? Elves in human lands appear effete, endlessly arrogant and very impractical because those elves in human lands are. The elven lands had an absolutist state with a decadent noble class, until they either killed them or kicked them out in a violent revolution. So those elves living in human lands are in fact the uselessly decadent homeless and impoverished nobility, who would really like to do nothing more than sit around, read poetry, sip wine, swoon on couches and perhaps play a little croquet if the weather isn't too hot.

Ralanr
2015-11-07, 06:39 PM
In Lord of the Rings, we only get maybe half a dozen elven characters with names and speaking roles, though. And they all are nobles. Legolas, Elrond, Arwen, Galadriel, etc. are al royalty. We get a few more appearances of people who seem to be soldiers and servants to that royalty, but it focuses on the royals.

But that seems to be a general feature of LotR. I mean, how many Gondorian carpenters are we introduced to?


This reminds me of this setting element idea I once had where all the common tropes about various races are somewhat racist human misconceptions about those races.

For dwarves, travelling is a bit taboo. One is supposed to stay home and work for the clan. So those elves humans meet are either exiles who have been kicked out for being violent drunks or travelling merchants and master craftsmen on their way to crafts fairs, hence the greedy stereotype.

Elves, on the other hand? Elves in human lands appear effete, endlessly arrogant and very impractical because those elves in human lands are. The elven lands had an absolutist state with a decadent noble class, until they either killed them or kicked them out in a violent revolution. So those elves living in human lands are in fact the uselessly decadent homeless and impoverished nobility, who would really like to do nothing more than sit around, read poetry, sip wine, swoon on couches and perhaps play a little croquet if the weather isn't too hot.

So...hedonists?

Jay R
2015-11-07, 11:07 PM
In Lord of the Rings, we only get maybe half a dozen elven characters with names and speaking roles, though. And they all are nobles. Legolas, Elrond, Arwen, Galadriel, etc. are al royalty. We get a few more appearances of people who seem to be soldiers and servants to that royalty, but it focuses on the royals.

But that seems to be a general feature of LotR. I mean, how many Gondorian carpenters are we introduced to?

One aspect of LotR that many moderns miss is the huge contrast between eight of the Fellowship and the ninth.

The Fellowship of the Rings is composed of:
The extremely rich heir of Bilbo Baggins, elf-friend and dwarf friend,
The first son and heir of the Thain of the Shire,
The first son and heir of the Master of Brandy Hall,
A dwarvish lord
An elvish prince,
the son and heir of the Steward of Gondor,
the lost King of Gondor,
a Maiar (wizard, but really an angel,

... and a gardener.

-----------------------------

Back on topic. How about an elven parking garage attendant?

Cluedrew
2015-11-09, 03:01 PM
You know, every time I watch Lord of the Rings I have to ask myself "Who actually does all the work?"

All of the elves appear to be wealthy nobles who spend their days surrounded by luxury, but I never actually see them doing any work, and the way elves are presented I can't imagine that there is a whole caste of elf serfs supporting them hiding just off screen.In addition to the points that have been given previously this actually highlights that elves as a whole would probably prefer to invest time into a job instead of energy.

Let's use a simple example: roads. Humans build roads to make a journey from point A to point B faster, but elves would not. Although part of this is the whole "connection with nature" which can be found in any human who lives a suitably rugged life style part of it is that walking slower (an investment of time and little energy) is preferable to them than building a road (an investment of a lot of energy and comparably little time).

So I suppose jobs that are mostly about energy and less about time would be less appealing to elves than a human who is otherwise similar.