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View Full Version : Gamer Drama Player problems(mostly mine I guess, but I´m not sure)



Mechaviking
2015-11-26, 10:10 PM
Foreword:

Ok so we´ve been playing d&d regularly for almost a year now meeting every friday evening playing EE in 5e.
I got wrecked by a deck of many things(more info upon request) and was rather peeved mostly at myself and I definetly deserved what happened.
I´ve been throwing banters at people making a bit of fun at them, but its good natured(or so I thought) and we´ve known each other for a looong time 20+ years for some 5 years at the shortest.

The Problem:

I have a problem with my roomie(dangerous territory there) who is also playing with us. I´ve been taking potshots at him across the table saying that most of his characters don´t have any personality, mostly since I noticed that he never ever takes a stance on anything and never has anything to contribute other than mostly combat and a clever idea here and there but usually never interacting with the plot and in one extreme case(way way back in 4e) forced me to solo the last encounter in our game because... Absolutely NOTHING that had happened the entire campaign had anything to do with his "character".

So I was talking with him a day after the session and he tells me that he´s tired of me poking holes in him since he has difficulty communicating and is considering quitting the group because of it. I feel rather ****ty and we discuss it and I agree that maybie I´ve been taking out my frustrations on him and the other players. So I´m at fault and I understand why so I call up the others in the group and chat a bit with them and they don´t feel like I´ve been taking anything out on them personally so I guess it´s just me and my roomie/flatmate.

I understand where he is coming from and see how he´s having difficulty putting something into his characters.

I´ve sent him these articles:

http://lookrobot.co.uk/2013/06/20/11-ways-to-be-a-better-roleplayer/

http://www.giantitp.com/articles/tll307KmEm4H9k6efFP.html

To try and help him, but I´ve sent them before and he didn´t even look at them.

Now when I get home from work and ask him if he´s read them his response is:

"Nope and I don´t like them already."

If I had been a regular healthy person I´d maybe tell him to go to hell and that he´s a ****ing prick for making me feel like **** for trying to help him with his problem. But instead I felt ****ty again.

I think these articles are great for RPG purposes and would help him.

Am I being a **** here?

I realize that this post is a double edged sword, but maybie you can help me out from a gaming perspective.

In any case thanks in advance :D

Jarawara
2015-11-27, 12:38 AM
Short answer - you're in the wrong here.

You play D&D to have fun. So does he. But you're telling him that he can only have fun YOUR way. And he's reacting to that, pushing back against it, when he says he doesn't like the articles that you sent him (without having looked at them).

D&D is a roleplaying game... if you want it to be. It is a puzzle solving game if you want it to be that. It is a tactical wargame if you want it to be that. And most of all it's an excuse to sit with friends and have fun. Maybe that's all he wants it to be. Let him play it the way he wants, and enjoy what he does bring to the table instead of trying to force him to be different.

It doesn't sound like it's become such an issue that you can't just smooth it over and continue on. In the future if he wants to improve his gameplay, you can look to those articles again at that time. Or maybe he's more focused on the combat aspect; maybe ask him if he's got similar articles on combat tactics. You can improve your communication with him by letting him play to his strengths rather than by forcing him to address his weaknesses. He can, and probably will, address that issue on his own in the future, but only when he wants to, not when you want him to.

Good luck and good gaming to you.

Nobot
2015-11-27, 06:40 AM
I'd leave the guy alone, even if you think he wants to improve his role-playing. You shouldn't give advice to people who are not asking you for it, it comes across badly in about a million different ways :smallsmile:

Good luck!

Mechaviking
2015-11-27, 07:28 AM
Thanks I´ll keep it mind :D