AMEN X: Call of Moonthulu

[Castaras]

The extra Juniors disappear, and the meerkat Junior suddenly turns into a Collosal Meerkat. She snarls.

Hey, guys, nice job. Oh really, yeah, I like how you stole MY PLAYER'S FLIPPING IDEA! The next person who does that gets brainwashed and turned into my servent, and that's a promise.:annoyed:

If you're talking about the personality potions, we had them before you came. If not, I haven't a clue what you're talking about. And I just got simu'd by a person who can say what I'm trying to say better. Darn.

Castaras sighs, opening the kitchen portal and heading back in, the portal disappearing behind her.

[V Junior]

I haven't been around all that long, necrophilliac.

[Saurous]

"Yes, well, it's nice when you actually study up a bit on what happens around here before claiming everything as yours."

"Could you say that without sounding like a jackass?"

"Not really."

[Exachix]

Exachix just grins to the discussion.

"Why is there a giant thing?"

[Saurous]

"Do you mean Junior, or that thing hiding in the corner over there?"

[Vespe Ratavo]

Because all the little things are on vacation.

[Castaras]

Castaras reopens the portal and comes back out, a few flying pies shooting over her head out of the base. She heads down to one of the torture labs.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Bored.
Another orphanage (how many are there anyway?) gets set on fire.
Still bored.
Another orphanage gets air strike'd.
STILL BORED.
Vespe gets set on fire.
Carlos sighs and wanders around the base.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok arrives, just on time to end the boredom. He dashes towards the kitchen to do something foolish and life-threatening, but accidently steps on a caltrop and spends the next few minutes screaming in pain and limping towards the labs.

[Saurous]

In today's continuation of a stupid running gag, a desk of invincibility falls from the ceiling. But not on Saurous this time, but on Magtok.

[Lord Magtok]

Oh gods...can't breathe! Must...shoot...him...before lungs...are crushed!

Magtok points a gun at Exachix, and fires just before his lungs are crushed.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Carlos uses his super weaving powers (http://www.superdickery.com/stupor/6.html) to knit himself a sweater. Which he promptly sets on fire.
Not bored.

[Saurous]

Oh gods...can't breathe! Must...shoot...him...before lungs...are crushed!

Magtok points a gun at Exachix, and fires just before his lungs are crushed.

Saurous grins.

"Yes! It wasn't me for once!"

A clunking noise comes from the ceiling, and Saurous ducks down. A desk falls from the rafters, but lands upright over Saurous. The necromancer is not crushed.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe flies through, carrying a banner behind him that says
VOTE VESPE FOR SIDEKICK!

[Exachix]

"Do you mean Junior, or that thing hiding in the corner over there?"

"Both."

He is shot... ow. And is bleeding. Congratulations!

[Saurous]

"Well, the thing in the corner came from Fullbladder. Just his regular nonsense. And Junior turned into a giant meerkat because she was angry that we were 'using her player's idea' when she found people split into various personalities."

"She and Saurous had a catfight."

"Get back to your corner, Happiness."

"Yes sir..."

[Lord Magtok]

"Both."

He is shot... ow. And is bleeding. Congratulations!

The next clone shows up, and sticks a knife in the bullet wound. He then heads over to the Gamecube, and plays Resident Evil 4, until he kills the president's daugher out of frustration and quits playing.

[Saurous]

Saurous sighs, and pushes the desk into the armory. He comes back with a cage holding the vorpal bunny.

[Lord Magtok]

Saurous sighs, and pushes the desk into the armory. He comes back with a cage holding the vorpal bunny.

Magtok casually takes a Holy Hand Grenade from his robes, and watches Saur carefully in case he tries to open the cage.

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Why would anyone want a Vorpal Bunny. Also, there're many Monty Python and Worms references. But that doesn't matter. What's vaguely interesting is that Saurous and Magtok appear to be the only two major Associates posting here for now. *conjures up popcorn and sour worms.* *She then eats the worms, hoping to creep out Magtok* Real worms.
"Let the carnage commence( hopefully).

[Saurous]

"We aren't always at each other's throats, y'know."

Saurous aims the cage towards Curly, and opens it. The rabbit tears out, and attempts to eviscerate Curly.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Fullbladder looms up out of shadowy nowhere, as is his wont, with a single stock of wheat in the corner of his mouth. He watches the events from a safe distance, occasionally lashing out at a passing insect.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok reaches into his robes, pulls out a small spider-bot, and then sends it to steal the sour gummi-worms.

[Saurous]

Assuming that the rabbit had killed or at least severely injured Curly, it reers back and flies through the air towards Saurous. He quickly catches it, and places it back in it's cage. The cage then disappears.

[Lord Magtok]

The robot returns with the gummi-worms, and Magtok tosses them into the furnace. He then heads outside and has his player hand-wave the base's time to midnight.

Magtok bends over and scoops up handfuls of the dew-covered grass and dirt, until he manages to collect over two dozen dirt-covered nightcrawlers, which he puts away in his cloak. He then heads back inside to the labs, and the time-zones are restored to their usual chaotic selves.

[PirateMonk]

Several PM clones walk in, and begin a game of Munchkin.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok watches them, and laughs when he sees the picture on the Sneaky Bastard sword.

[Uberblah]

Uber wakes up as all his personas snap back into his body. He sighs in relief.
Ahhh... Much better.

[Saurous]

Saurous watches the Munchkin game for a few minutes, before Auhuneas pops up next to him.

"M'lord, I arranged the meeting with the undead lords that you requested."

"Good. When did they say it could occur?"

"Whenever plot calls for it."

"Like everything else around here."

[PirateMonk]

The clones somehow manage to reach level 10 simultaneously, and the game degenerates into a knife fight.

[Lord Magtok]

Saurous watches the Munchkin game for a few minutes, before Auhuneas pops up next to him.

"M'lord, I arranged the meeting with the undead lords that you requested."

"Good. When did they say it could occur?"

"Whenever plot calls for it."

"Like everything else around here."

Saur, do you think you could have that meeting somewhere away from here? Or tie me up in a closet before you have it? I have this terrible disorder which makes me get all homicidal on lords of the undead. Especially when it eerily reminds me of the-



Pirates of the Carribean 3 spoiler alert!
-Pirate lord meeting in PotC3.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Saur, do you think you could have that meeting somewhere away from here? Or tie me up in a closet before you have it? I have this terrible disorder which makes me get all homicidal on lords of the undead. Especially when it eerily reminds me of the-



Pirates of the Carribean 3 spoiler alert!
-Pirate lord meeting in PotC3.


Pirates of the Carribean 3 spoiler alert!

Vespe rips out his heart, puts it in a box, then stands in a bucket.
I like my bucket. :smallbiggrin:

[Saurous]

"It wasn't even going to be here in the first place. The other 4 lords are all extremely paranoid."

Auhuneas taps him on the shoulder.

"Um, sir? There are 16 lords altogether."

Saurous blinks.

"Good gods, they really expanded, didn't they?"

Saurous points at Vespe, and laughs.

"LOL, You has a bucket!

I'm sorry, I have no idea where that came from."

[Lord Magtok]

Wow...sixteen lords of the dead. *whistles* That's a lot of necrophilliacs in one place.

I'd hate to be in a room with those guys and all of their big, magical staffs. Hmm...think they're compensating for something? :smallamused:

[Saurous]

Wow...sixteen lords of the dead. *whistles* That's a lot of necrophilliacs in one place.

I'd hate to be in a room with those guys and all of their big, magical staffs. Hmm...think they're compensating for something? :smallamused:

"Technically, they aren't even human/elf/Halfling/whatever. They each represent a form of undeath from Vampires, to Wraiths to Liches. And, of course, they are all their respective undead. And most of them weren't even formerly necrophil- I mean, necromancers."

[Vespe Ratavo]

Saurous, GTFO my sandbar. (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/56727609/)

[PirateMonk]

"By the way Saurous, that reminded me, why don't you become a necrophilimancer? Then we can all be right. :smallamused: "

[Saurous]

Happiness walks up to them.

"...I can has bucket?"


"By the way Saurous, that reminded me, why don't you become a necrophilimancer? Then we can all be right. :smallamused: "

"Well, that is because, despite popular belief, I am not a necrophile."

[Lord Magtok]

"Technically, they aren't even human/elf/Halfling/whatever. They each represent a form of undeath from Vampires, to Wraiths to Liches. And, of course, they are all their respective undead. And most of them weren't even formerly necrophil- I mean, necromancers."

So you have to have a meeting with some Dracula clone, Frankenstein's monster, a few ridiculously ugly losers, and some former necrophilliacs?

Wow. This reminds me of the time I tried to have a big discussion with Dr. Evil, Dr. Eggman/Robotnik, and Dr. No. The whole time, they mocked me for dropping out of the university and not getting my doctorate in evil robotics. *sobs* I wish I had 'Dr.' in my name. All the cool evil geniuses did it... :smallfrown:

Magtok ends his rant and walks away to his room, moping about never finishing college and becoming Dr. Magtok.

[Vespe Ratavo]

No, you can't has a bucket.

Don't worry Magtok, we'll have a "Get a Doctorate in one Millisecond" class!
*one millisecond later*
Here's your diploma Maggot. That'll be...
ONE MEEELION DOLLARS!

[Uberblah]

Uber looks around.
Damn player.
Hey. I was dragged outside to play cornhole. It wasn't my choice even if I enjoyed it.
You lost though. Horribly.
And your point is? At least I'm not some lame-ass excuse for pixilated words.
That was low....
Again, your point is...?

[Saurous]

So you have to have a meeting with some Dracula clone, Frankenstein's monster, a few ridiculously ugly losers, and some former necrophilliacs?

Wow. This reminds me of the time I tried to have a big discussion with Dr. Evil, Dr. Eggman/Robotnik, and Dr. No. The whole time, they mocked me for dropping out of the university and not getting my doctorate in evil robotics. *sobs* I wish I had 'Dr.' in my name. All the cool evil geniuses did it... :smallfrown:

Magtok ends his rant and walks away to his room, moping about never finishing college and becoming Dr. Magtok.

"Well, there are not Dracula's or Frankensteins, and the lords could easily destroy any of the AMENites in a swipe of their hand easily."

[Lord Magtok]

I doubt it. We've survived everything from multiple personailty disorder, to flashbacks, and even uber-godmodders. No collection of cheesy League of Gothy Villains coul dbeat us.

[Raistlin1040]

RP plays amazing guitar. An emo goth-villain is slain by the amazing riffs and lack of whiny singing.
Magtok is right.
Raistlin the Hexblade is nowhere to be found. Probably because he's reading over his character sheet.

[Lord Magtok]

Probably because he's reading over his character sheet.

Speaking of which... :smallannoyed:

What? I dunno how to do that cybernetic implants stuff, and I have eveything else figured out except for feats, since I can't find a list of 'em anywhere.

Oh. Sorry. Maybe Vespe or Rex can help.

[Rex Idiotarum]

One of the links were Directed at D20 future. Use Google-Fu to find it. It should have something on implants.

[Vespe Ratavo]

What kinda feats you want Maggot? Here's some D&D ones. (http://www.d20srd.org/indexes/feats.htm) And heres some d20 Modern (http://www.12tomidnight.com/d20modernsrd/Feats.php) ones. Don't know where the future ones are, sorry.

By the way, Rex, later in our game can I take "Fight With Anything" from d20 Apocalypse? Basically, normally you take a -4 penalty on attacks with improvised weapons, but with that feat you can use your full attack bonus.

[Raistlin1040]

Hey Rex, I left you a question in the OOC thread about making Raistlin.

[Lord Magtok]

Don't know where the future ones are, sorry.

Damnit, those were the ones I needed.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Wait, check this. (http://www.wizards.com/d20/files/msrd/FutureOccupationsSkillsFeats.RTF)

[Raistlin1040]

When your mage is on his final spell. And the fighter's hit points are low. The cleric has a cure light wounds. That heals you with a magical glow.

*attempt to make Vespe listen to Advanced Dungeons and Dragons*

[Lord Magtok]

Hmm...I definitely need to have these three.

CRAFT CYBERNETICS
You can construct cybernetic attachments.
Prerequisites: Craft (electrical) 10 ranks, Craft (mechanical) 10 ranks, Knowledge (life sciences) 5 ranks.
Benefits: You can build cybernetic attachments. You must first make a Wealth check against the purchase DC of the attachment (to acquire the necessary components), then invest 24 hours in its construction. At the end of that time, you must succeed at a Craft (mechanical) check (DC 30) and a Craft (electrical) check (DC 30).
If both Craft checks succeed, the cybernetic attachment functions properly and can be installed at any time (see the Cybernetic Surgery feat). If either or both checks fail, the attachment’s design is flawed; another 24 hours must be spent fixing the problems, and two new checks must be made at the end of that time.
Special: This feat does not allow you to build a cybernetic attachment of a higher Progress Level.

CYBERNETIC SURGERY
You can graft cybernetic attachments onto living tissue as well as safely remove them.
Prerequisites: Treat Injury 8 ranks, Surgery.
Benefit: You can make a Treat Injury check (DC 20) to install or remove a cybernetic attachment. If you do not have a surgery kit or access to a medical facility, you take a –4 penalty on the check. Cybernetic surgery takes 1d4 hours.
The consequences of failure are severe: If your check result fails by 5 or more, the installation or removal of the cybernetic attachment causes undue physical trauma to the patient, who suffers 1d4 points of Constitution damage. If the check result fails by 10 or more, the Constitution damage is treated as Constitution drain instead.
A character who undergoes cybernetic surgery (successful or not) is fatigued for 24 hours. Reduce this time by 2 hours for every point above the DC the surgeon achieves. The period of fatigue can never be reduced below 6 hours in this fashion.
Normal: Characters without this feat take a –8 penalty on Treat Injury checks made to perform cybernetic surgery (–4 penalty if they have the Surgery feat).

CYBERTAKER
You can have more cybernetic attachments than normal without suffering ill effects.
Benefit: The maximum number of cybernetic attachments you can have without suffering negative levels increases by 1.
Special: You can gain this feat multiple times. Its effects stack.

[Vespe Ratavo]

I love it! It's awesome!
Carlos considers changing Vespe up a bit.
I wish I could get Nerve Pinch...:smallfrown:

[Lord Magtok]

I love it! It's awesome!
Carlos considers changing Vespe up a bit.
I wish I could get Nerve Pinch...:smallfrown:

Wait a sec...last time I just randomly chose feats that had neat names. Now I have to actually know what I'm doing this time with the generator! Damn!

It could be worse. What if there was no generator?

*Shudder* I don't wanna think about that.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Maggot, when you're done, show me your sheet, ok?

Personally, Vespe is ready for action. Should I take an Allegiance to AMEN? Do I get Action points?

[Lord Magtok]

Maggot, when you're done, show me your sheet, ok?

Personally, Vespe is ready for action. Should I take an Allegiance to AMEN? Do I get Action points?

I'd be done already, but the damn generator isn't loading right. Why isn't it working? It was fine before! :smallannoyed:

[Vespe Ratavo]

Man, I don't know about you, but I can't WAIT for this game to start. So...bored...

[Lord Magtok]

Man, I don't know about you, but I can't WAIT for this game to start. So...bored...

Is Saur online? We could smack him around a little. Then, when he has his meeting al the undead guys will say "HAHA! That elf kid has a black eye! And he looks like he was beaten with an ugly stick!"

[Vespe Ratavo]

Carlos fires off a link (http://www.superdickery.com/propaganda/41.html) at Magtok.

[Raistlin1040]

Hey Vespe, could you look over my char sheet? I play a lot of D&D, but it's been a while since I made a sheet.

http://www.thetangledweb.net/profiler/view.php?id=17121

Does it look good? Did I miss anything? Does it look like it could keep up with a party of ECL 10 members?

[Vespe Ratavo]

Looks to be in order, but did you actually buy arrows for your bow? :smallconfused:

[Raistlin1040]

Hmmm...no. Usually we (We being me, the players I DM for, the players in my other party, and the DM who DMs the other party) don't keep track. I never use magical arrows, and they're like a gold pice for 50.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Whatever.
When does the game start already?
When everyone gets their characters finished and Rex gets an adventure started.
But I'm booooooored.
Go to sleep you twit. It's almost 1 AM.
Fine. *grumble grumble*

[Castaras]

Hmm...could some 3.5 player tell me how Action Points work? Me and the people I roleplay with use 3.0, so I haven't much of an idea of how some of the new parts would work...

Castaras smirks, coming back out of the kitchen.

Right...

She starts summoning strange pie creatures, and sending them in.

Get me the orb.

One of the pie imps squeaks, and flutters in. A few seconds later, it flies out, carrying a small crystal orb. It drops it down in front of Castaras, shattering it into loads of tiny pieces. A strange shadowy substance engulfs the imp and Castaras. When it disappears, only the imp remains.

Squeak?

[Exachix]

Hmm...could some 3.5 player tell me how Action Points work? Me and the people I roleplay with use 3.0, so I haven't much of an idea of how some of the new parts would work...

Castaras smirks, coming back out of the kitchen.

Right...

She starts summoning strange pie creatures, and sending them in.

Get me the orb.

One of the pie imps squeaks, and flutters in. A few seconds later, it flies out, carrying a small crystal orb. It drops it down in front of Castaras, shattering it into loads of tiny pieces. A strange shadowy substance engulfs the imp and Castaras. When it disappears, only the imp remains.

Squeak?

Action Points (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/adventuring/actionPoints.htm)

((I don't actually know what they are really =) ))

"Hello Imp."

[Lord Magtok]

Damn, the generator (http://www.pathguy.com/d20modern.htm) isn't working! Now how is my incompetent player going to do my character page? (http://www.thetangledweb.net/profiler/view.php?id=16996)

[Castaras]

The imp shrugs and runs madly round the base, leaving a trail of very sticky pie.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok heads towards the Gamecube, trying to avoid stepping on any of the sticky pies. He suceeds in doing this, but still ends up getting half a dozen pies sticking to the back of his robes.

Damn imp... :smallannoyed:

[Castaras]

The imp sniggers, running over to the Gamecube, covering it in uncooked pastry. Laughing, the imp runs over to one of the sofas.

[Lord Magtok]

For some reason, the Gamecube explodes in a shower of plastic.

Hey! You little- WHOA!

Magtok tries to chase after the imp, but trips on one of the pies clinging to the back of his robes, and then falls facefirst into a sticky pie.

Can't...breathe! *gasp* Pie...covering *gasp* face! :smalleek:

[Castaras]

The imp points and laughs.

[Vhaidara]

(Are you accepting members?)

[Saurous]

((Yeah, I guess we are.))

A small impish creature covered in dark fur and armed with small wings flits over to the other imp. It makes a chittering noise at the other imp.

[Vhaidara]

(How do I do this? Don't want to make a mistake here.)

[Lord Magtok]

((AMEN is basically an evil version of Trog's Tavern, with less booze, more idiocy, no Q-word thing, and god-modding is allowed and encouraged.))

Magtok rips the pie off his face, and some circuitry and skin is ripped off and sticks to the pie.

Yes, OOC voice from nowhere, we are always recruiting. Just make sure you know exactly what you're dealing with before you sign up, and don't sign anything in blood.

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy walks up
I'm in.

[Exachix]

Exachix hmms and just watches the imp, before looking at the new member, suspending all planing and then thinks.

[Raistlin1040]

Raistlin kills the new kid. Then mutilates the corpse.
Good work
Rp steps from the shadows.

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy gets up, shrugs, and breaks a clown pill on Exachix and Raistlin's faces, making them clowns for a few hours.

[Saurous]

Saur's imp raises it's claw, and a small flame suddenly ignites the bottom of Magtok's cloak.

[Exachix]

Exachix gasps and reverts to normal.

"I haven't done anything! But, hello new member, want some new member cake?"

[Raistlin1040]

Raistlin the Hexblade becomes a clown. RP makes him not a clown anymore. Raistlin kills Bookboy. Then buries the body in a big bag of holding. He then ties the bag of holding closed and teleports it to the 13th level of the 9 hells.

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy reappears. and stab Raistlin, then stab some more, with a bit of stabbing to top it all off.

[Lord Magtok]

Saur's imp raises it's claw, and a small flame suddenly ignites the bottom of Magtok's cloak.

Aaaaugggh! My clothes are on fire!

Magtok runs around the base in search of water.

Aaaaugggh! Now my head is on fire!

Magtok continues running around the base in search of water.

Aaaaugggh! Now my brain is-gack!

Magtok falls to the ground, a charred corpse. Moments later, a new Magtok clone arrives from the cloning labs.

[Raistlin1040]

DR, moron.
He kills Bookboy.

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy refuses to stay killed. While forcing an irreversible mime potion down Raistlin's throat, he asks Saurous
I take it this is normal?

[Raistlin1040]

RP invokes god powers to transfer the potion to bookboy's stomach. Raistlin shoots an arrow for Bookboy's skull.
Loser.

[Saurous]

Bookboy refuses to stay killed. While forcing an irreversible mime potion down Raistlin's throat, he asks Saurous
I take it this is normal?

"Yes, yes it is. Raistlin here, however, is even more annoying than everyone else."

The imp chitters, and flits over to Magtok. It lands on his shoulder.

[Exachix]

Exachix watches Raistlin and Bookboy fight it out.

[Raistlin1040]

He really is you know. I wonder why he hates you so much...But then again, I don't really care enough to ask him. Beware bookboy, if you think Raistlin's bad, fear Magtok, Moon Called, and Castaras. Fear them!

[Saurous]

"MC isn't that bad."

"Yeah, she is."

"Well, only when you provoke her."

[Exachix]

"MC isn't that bad."

"Yeah, she is."

"Well, only when you provoke her."

"Which can be all the time: depending on who you are."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok tries to brush the imp off of him, and wonders if its the same imp that bugged him many threads ago.

[Saurous]

"Which can be all the time: depending on who you are."

"Especially if your name has the word Magtok in it."

The imp flits away from Magtok, and then turns back to him. It spits a large glob of it's glowing, sticky saliva in Magtok's eyes.

[Raistlin1040]

While Raistlin kicks Bookboy's ass, RP makes a Spectral Ninja. The Spectral Ninja attacks the next poster.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Hey Maggot, check this out.
Carlos throws a Worms related link (http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=237) at Magtok.
Vespe leaps out of nowhere (in a Robin outfit, no less) and breaks Bookboys neck.
He yells Vote me for Sidekick! and vanishes before the spectral ninja can attack him, and Carlos simply handwaves him away.

[Raistlin1040]

Spectral Ninja=Pissed. The next poster takes triple damage against the Ninja's attack.

[Lord Magtok]

"Especially if your name has the word Magtok in it."

The imp flits away from Magtok, and then turns back to him. It spits a large glob of it's glowing, sticky saliva in Magtok's eyes.

MY EYES!! Oh gods, they burn like the acidy stuf that killed the fat guy in Jurassic Park!

Magtok is then spectral ninja'ed.

My spleen! You stabbed me in the spleen! What the hell did I ever do to you?!?

[Saurous]

The imp quickly ties a thin rope around Magtok's legs while he is distracted.

Saurous attaches an exploding crystal to Magtok's back.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok is tripped, exploded, and stabbed to death. (He was about to use a knife on the imp, but tripped and fell on it, exploded, and then died.)

The next Magtok comes out of the labs, with a Chicago typewriter spraying lead at Saurous and the imp.

[Saurous]

Saurous simply walks away, somehow avoiding all the bullets.

When the imp is shot, it abruptly evaporates.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly laughs her head offf.Thud."Damn the vorpal bunny. She picks up her head and reattachs it with sticky tape. She then huffs(gently so as not to lose her head again) taapping her foot waiting for her player to notice.
"What? Oh, right." Handwaves severed head away. Curly's head is now reattached to her body. Also she is wearing something pink and frilly.":smallsigh: I hate you." Curly handwaves her normal clothes back on.

She then walks over to a sofa trying to avoid stepping on any remaining imps

[Exachix]

Exachix looks at the imps and hmms, before creating minature, short-lived implosions at where they are. Methodically eradicating them.

[Vespe Ratavo]

All right, who else thinks the Town is offically dead? Who wants to go with me to make a "The Towns Grave" thread?

[Saurous]

Exachix looks at the imps and hmms, before creating minature, short-lived implosions at where they are. Methodically eradicating them.

"Um, dude? There were only two imps, and one of them is gone now."

[Exachix]

"Um, dude? There were only two imps, and one of them is gone now."

"Oh."

He makes some more imps, before killing them too.

[Lord Magtok]

All right, who else thinks the Town is offically dead? Who wants to go with me to make a "The Towns Grave" thread?

Since it was originally my idea, I think I'll join you. To the Town!

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy brainwashes everyone still in the room except himself, making them attack everyone but Bookboy.

[Saurous]

Saurous stands there quietly, obviously not affected by the brainwashing.

"...what? I'm an elf, partially undead, and have a very strong mind. It will take more than that to brainwash me."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok sticks a knife in Vespe's eye, a fishing rod up Saur's nose, and fires a stream of lead at Exy's tail.

Oh, I'm not brainwashed. I'm just doing this for fun.

[Saurous]

Saurous pulls the fishing rod out of his nasal cavity, and then obliterates Magtok on the spot.

"I'm not brainwashed, I'm just doing this for fun."

[Vhaidara]

I know.
Bookboy enchants Saurous to spend the rest of his life existence living with his mom.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Fullbladder allows himself to be brainwashed. Immediately after, he puts on a purple robe, ties his crossbow to his arm, and proceeds to look like a violet idiot.

"I'll tear open Saurous, and every other AMENite, until the Matrix has been destroyed."

He then sets off to the darkest corners of AMEN headquarters to find Saurous, despite having been in the same room as him just seconds before.

[Saurous]

Saurous sighs and shakes his head.

"You'll never learn..."

Saurous waves a hand, and the ground cracks underneath Bookboy's feet. Several hands reach up, and drag him down.

[Lord Magtok]

The next Magtok clone shows up, and whines about SP being very undetailed about how Magtok was obliterated on the spot. He then attempts to educate SP on the proper way to describe a murder, as he shoots an NPC in both kneecaps, dropping the poor sucker to his knees.

He then takes a long crurved hook, grabs the NPC by the head with one arm, and then shoves the hook up the guy's nose with the other. He yanks the hook out and kicks the man to the ground. He then hands the hook to SP, which still has the brains, blood and gore of a job well done.

[Vhaidara]

Saurous missed, and the hands grabbed the TV.
Work on your aim.
Bookboy throws the only copy of the combination every encyclopedia and dictionary and atlas and religous book ever made at Saurous, hitting everything else in the building as well.

[Saurous]

Saurous is unharmed, as Bookboy appears to have hit everything other than Saurous.

"Work on your aim."

[Vhaidara]

Alright.
Bookboy summons the bok back, and throws it again. And again. Etc.

[Castaras]

Lizzie grabs her connection and hits it repeatedly.

The pie imp in the room screeches and runs outside, a bolt of shadow chasing after it.

Oh and Raist? Castaras is one of the saner, and quieter ones here. MC you don't have to watch out for, its Saphire who does the worst bits. And Magtok...he's just the cannon fodder of AMEN.

[Saurous]

Bookboy comes closer this time, but still doesn't hit Saurous. The necromancer manages to deflect any of the books that came close to hitting him.

"Someone call me when the stupidity ends."

He then walks off to a part of the base that isn't consumed by madness.

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy stops throwing, and walks over to Castaras
I hear earlier you were literally splitting personalities. How do you do that? I'm an intern, and want to find out about this kind of thing.

[Castaras]

(( Castaras isn't in the base, Bookboy. Her player is currently though. ))

Lizzie shrugs.

No idea how she does it. She probably wouldn't tell you either.

[Vhaidara]

I'm willing to use unorthodox methods.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"It shall do you no good, Necromancer. It cannot be avoided."

The still-brainwashed Fullbladder happens to be hunting for Saurous in the very place Saurous is retreating to. As such, Saurous gets a wad of crossbow bolts in and around his 'personal bubble'.

The goblin then puts the pedal to the meddle and hoof's it out of there.

[Castaras]

Unorthodox?

Castaras walks out of the kitchen portal, the portal disappearing behind her.

Unlikely you'd be able to. And no player, you're not turning me into a pony again. I'm staying half-drow.

*sigh*


Anyway...Welcome, new AMENite. Please sign this form, this form, and this form.

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy checks them oover carefully, and even gets out a microscope for the fine print. After checking the clauses, he signs on as a 6-month intern.

[Saurous]

"Gack!"

Saurous jumps backwards, and then chases after the master goblin, hurling various sharp pieces of weaponry at the occipital section of his skull.

[Castaras]

A pie imp takes the forms and flies off into one of the rooms deep in the base.

Right. Now whats this about potions you wanting to know?

[Exachix]

(( Castaras isn't in the base, Bookboy. Her player is currently though. ))

Lizzie shrugs.

No idea how she does it. She probably wouldn't tell you either.

"Replace 'you' with 'anyone' and you'd be closer. and Bookboy, I did offer you the 'Hello new AMENite cake'."

[Vhaidara]

I heard that you'd made some that literally caused split personalities. And am I right in saying that the cake he keeps offering me is a trick?

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"You know, if I didn't have such difficulty killing you, I'd have some satisfaction right now."

Fullbladder ducks into a narrow hallway and hides in a closet.

[Saurous]

I heard that you'd made some that literally caused split personalities. And am I right in saying that the cake he keeps offering me is a trick?

The imp appears again, and holds up a sign in front of Bookboy.


If you don't trust the person, don't accept the food!

Saurous stops as Fullbladder hides in the closet. Fullbladder may now notice the fact that a large swarm of poisonous spiders are now swarming over him in there.

[Castaras]

The cake probably is, as is all foods here. Especially seeing as most of the food here is made by me.

Castaras smiles slightly.

So, what can I not do for you?

[Exachix]

Exachix sighs.

"But You've not baked the cake have you Cassie? It is likely to be safe."

[Vhaidara]

I was just wondering if you'd share the recipe for those personality potions I think they'd be a huge seller around April Fools Day.

[Castaras]

I was just wondering if you'd share the recipe for those personality potions I think they'd be a huge seller around April Fools Day.

Bookboy...I don't just...Give away, these recipes. Would give away my secrets, wouldn't it.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

A loud scream emanates from said closet.

"Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'm coming out of the closet now!"

He then extracts himself from said closet, shuddering with the horrible shivers of a man terrified. He also has his hands up.

(you get your mind out of the gutter, now)

[Vhaidara]

Then how about a swap. I've got some pellets with me. When the liquid in them gets on someone, one of them makes them a clown for a few hours, the other makes them a mime for life.

[Saurous]

Saurous blinks, and then clasps his hands in prayer for a moment.

"Pleasedon'tmakemesayitdon'tmakemesayitdon'tmakemes ayit..."

"You're saying it."

Saurous then sighs. He then speaks with an almost monotone speech.

"So, Fullbladder, does this mean you're 'coming out' of the closet?"

[Castaras]

Then how about a swap. I've got some pellets with me. When the liquid in them gets on someone, one of them makes them a clown for a few hours, the other makes them a mime for life.

No deal.

Castaras turns to a pie imp beside her. It squeaks at her.

No. Just...No. Get lost.

[Lord Magtok]

Saurous blinks, and then clasps his hands in prayer for a moment.

Pleasedon'tmakemesayitdon'tmakemesayitdon'tmakemes ayit...

"You're saying it."

Saurous then sighs. He then speaks with an almost monotone speech.

"So, Fullbladder, does this mean you're 'coming out' of the closet?"

Magtok tries to not laugh, but fails his will save and laughs hysterically, until he accidently runs out of air and suffocates to death. The next clone does the same.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

The next Magtok clone gets gets shot in the eye.

"Why do you ask, Saur? Propositioning or something?"

[Saurous]

"Nope."

Saurous abruptly swings his arm, and several sharp knives become embedded in Fullbladder's forehead.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"...........

"Crap."

Fullbladder dies from the head wounds. The body falls to the floor. A reference to a classic death scene materializes next to him.

[Lord Magtok]

The next Magtok clone gets gets shot in the eye.

Aaaugh! My eye! I need that to see! And I think you got half of my brain with that shot too! You probably did, because now I can't remember my name or who that spooky elf necromancer guy is!

[Saurous]

Aaaugh! My eye! I need that to see! And I think you got half of my brain with that shot too! You probably did, because now I can't remember my name or who that spooky elf necromancer guy is!

"Well, Magtok commonly doesn't use his brain, so it won't make much of a difference."

[Castaras]

"Well, Magtok commonly doesn't use his brain, so it won't make much of a difference."

True that.

The pie imp squeaks again.

I already said n...wait, a different person? How many frigging people know now...Just say yes to all of them.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok heads to a healy-bot to get his eye replaced with a robotic one, but doesn't do anything about the brain damage.

Ah, that's better.

...Wait a sec, where the hell am I? And who are you people? :smallconfused:

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly laughs at the 'closet' joke. She then gets slapped on the back of the head by her player.
"As your player, you must know that was the most obvious pun that could happen." Then a small non-harmful-to-Saurous present is given to Saurous. "At least you have a sense of humour. Enjoy."
Curly then gets slapped in the back of the head again.

[Saurous]

Saurous cautiously opens the present (assuming that it is a wrapped present in a box or something), hoping that it doesn't explode in his face or rip his arms off.

[Lord Magtok]

((Fullbladder, I was wondering...are you just visiting here for a little while, or have you officially returned to AMEn as a member? Cuz there's this wiki (http://amen.wikidot.com/) that Vespe made, and your bio seems to need to be updated, and I'm too lazy to do it for you.))

[Castaras]

((Fullbladder, I was wondering...are you just visiting here for a little while, or have you officially returned to AMEn as a member? Cuz there's this wiki (http://amen.wikidot.com/) that Vespe made, and your bio seems to need to be updated, and I'm too lazy to do it for you.))

(( Come to think of it...PirateMonk needs to have a look as well... ))

Muttering, Castaras heads back into the kitchen, hmming.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Saurous cautiously opens the present (assuming that it is a wrapped present in a box or something), hoping that it doesn't explode in his face or rip his arms off.

He gets the one item he secretly desires most in the world.

Curly goes off in a sulk hunting paladins armed only with a carving knife. Several pain-wracked deawn-out screams are heard from the direction she went.

[Lord Magtok]

He gets the one item he secretly desires most in the world.

What is it? A Corpse Bride? :smalltongue:

[Mr. Moon]

"Gee, thanks." Moon Called slaps Magtok with the flat of her sword, and peaks over Saurous' shoulder. "So what is it? Something from Victoria Secret, right? I can't belive Saphire made me say that."

[Saurous]

It happens to be a cute plush doll of a zombie.

Saurous twitches, and tosses the doll over his shoulder, blushing slightly.


What is it? A Corpse Bride? :smalltongue:

BANG!

A small burst of energy shoots from Saurous's finger and hits Magtok between the eyes.

[Castaras]

What is it? A Corpse Bride? :smalltongue:

Corpse Bride was an awesome film.

He's not talking about that, idiot...

Oh. Right. Nevermind then.

Stupid players...:smallannoyed:

Castaras peers out of the kitchen portal, and sees the cute plush zombie.

Aww...how sweet Saurous...:smallamused:

[Lord Magtok]

Just before the cyborg bites the dust, he giggle when he sees the present and says something about a "undead obsession."

[Exachix]

Exachix, and apparently, the collective of Imps he destoryed, all go 'Awww.'.

[Mr. Moon]

Moon Called watches Magtok die, and nods. "Nice hit."

The Drow/Elf then gives a startled glance at the celing. "Crap. Saphire just paused while typing. That means she's... thinking of a plot!"

[Saurous]

Saurous snarls, and does the same thing he did to Magtok to Exachix.

"If any of you speak of this incident again, I swear I will kill you in the most horrific way possible, and then deliver your soul to the hells myself."

[Castaras]

Castaras looks up at her player.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Yup. :smallamused:

Lizzie scuttles off to the wiki, Castaras still laughing.

[Saurous]

"Well, I don't really care, so...wait, what did they change on my members page?"

[Castaras]

Castaras finally stops chuckling, closing and locking the portal.

Don't worry Saurous, we all have the things we don't want other people to know...

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Somewhere in the multiverse, an overweight geek screams at the idiocy of the wiki's account creation thingimabob.

Back at our favorite text-based dimension, however, Fullbladder finally reconstitutes a new body. He mystically looms up in the room, instinctively flinching away from Moon Called.

He looks around, then sits down on a couch, after pulling and end table closer. The end table he decorates with a tiny, 3-inch tall plastic Starscream figure, and then whips out a classic Game Boy Color, proceeding to start playing Pokemon Silver.

[Saurous]

"Oy vey."

A sudden twanging noise comes from the ceiling. The sound of Plot. Saurous glances up/over at his player.

"No plots this evening."

"Awww...."

[Mr. Moon]

"I inspire terror in Fullblader? Sweet."

"Especialy considering that you used to be terri-"

"Oh, look, it's Kabuto."

Saphire shuts up and chases after the shinobi.

[Saurous]

"But why no-"

"No."

"But the undead lo-"

"Não."

"But I already have i-"

"Nein."

"Stop changing languages!"

"Le mie scuse, ma io sono impauriti che non posso fare quello."

[Castaras]

Castaras raises an eyebrow.

What you say there, Saurous? My player can't be bothered to go find babelfish.

[Saurous]

"I said 'My apologies, but I'm afraid that I can't do that.'"

SP sighs, picks up the zombie plushie, and tosses it at Saurous. The necromancer catches the stuffed toy, and shakes his head.

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Don't you want the zombie plushie Saurous? I could always take it back... A giant hand appears and reaches towards the plushie. "NO, don't take it away! Everyone's having fun. Besides, it's what he really wants. SP should have given hm one in private if he wanted it kept secret. Hell, he didn't even need to say what he got. Curly slaps her players hand away."Ow. Fine then. You didn't have to hit me. Geeze.

[Saurous]

Saurous glances at Curly and her player, and floats the stuffed toy towards his quarters.

[Raistlin1040]

I think you should give Raistlin a present.

[Lord Magtok]

Can I have a present? I always wanted to know what I always wanted.

[Saurous]

SP drops a present similar to Curly's into Magtok's hands.

"Only because I think it'll be funny to see what'll come out of that."

[Raistlin1040]

Nothing for me?

[Saurous]

"No, I hate you, more than Maggot"

[Raistlin1040]

Damn.
RP makes a special box. Raistlin opens it, and inside is a scroll for Create Girlfriend. He tries to hide it, rather unsuccessfully. RP laughs. Like mean, mocking laughter.
Hey Saurous, are you still sore about that time Raistlin and Moon Called got drunk? Because that was funny. And very, very kinky.

[Saurous]

Saurous sighs.

"No, of course I'm not!"

An expression between a snarl and a grin crosses across Saurous's face, and then disappears.

[Raistlin1040]

Alright, just making sure. Man, you should have been there. Was brilliant. They were on each other like, well like jam on bread, martini on the rocks, ugly on your face. Although if Moon ends up with a kid, I'm not taking any responsibility for Raistlin's sex drive.

[Saurous]

"I'm not ugly, I have an above average CHA, and do you mind if I strangle Raistlin the man whore?"

[Raistlin1040]

Right. Just for the record, I think it was your wife who was the whore in that scenario. But yeah. Strangle him all you wish.

[Saurous]

Saurous glares at RP for a moment, and then flicks a small object into Raistlin's mouth. It expands rapidly, stopping Raistlin's breathing and possibly ripping his throat open.

[Raistlin1040]

Raistlin dies. But right before he dies, he kills Moon Called as well.
Damn. He's off to have sex with your wife. Again. In the afterlife.

[Saurous]

"Are you even sure that that is possible?"

Saurous pulls out a cellphone from his pocket, and begins speaking into it.

"Kuro? I need a white mage who knows Raise Dead, Ressurection, True Ressurection, or anything else similar to that.

Yes, someone killed Moon.

No, it wasn't Magtok this time.

Yes, I'm sure I can afford the cost of the diamonds.

Yes, it is worth it.

Just get a god damn Cleric down here!"

A cleric walks in, and heads over to Moon Called's corpse, and proceeds to cast Ressurection on her.

[Vhaidara]

At which point Bookboy kills the cleric, then hides in a book.

[Saurous]

Saurous lights the book on fire, and the cleric miraculously survives the attack, and continues with the spell.

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy puts the cleric in the flaming book, and hides in Saurous' head.
Hmmm, nothing in here. It's kind of cozy.

[Saurous]

"Dear god, he's another PirateMonk."

Saurous, being in complete control over his mental functions, teleports Bookboy back out. Another cleric finishes the spell where the last one started.

[Vhaidara]

Oh, and, I left a little surprise in your head... I couldn't hold it in.
Bookboy runs for it.

[Saurous]

Saurous blinks, and then quickly catches up with Bookboy. He proceeds to quickly strike Bookboy in a few key points, paralyzing him.

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy keeps running because he'd put books int hose places to protect himself.

[Saurous]

Saurous sighs, and a spectral hand comes from his own hand. The hand hits Bookboy, using a Ghoul Touch spell, this time hopefully paralyzing him.

[Vhaidara]

It fails. It touched a book.

[Saurous]

"Bah, forget it."

Saurous stops chasing Bookboy, and retreats back towards the armory.

[Vhaidara]

Everything in the amrory has been replaced by books.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Yo. I can't help but notice how much trouble you're putting Saurous through. Here, take this."

Fullbladder throws the purple robe he had worn earlier at Bookboy.

"To be a real evil pest, you must dress for success. You also need the correct uotes, like 'Such heroic nonsense.' But don't use them too often, or--holy crap! That Dragonite just blitzed my Chansey!"

His attention is sucked back to his Game Boy.

[Saurous]

"Oooooh, a lot of people are gonna be aaaangry...you got all of Magtok's cannons and rifles, and Castaras's potion guns."

[Vhaidara]

He said I was just like Pirate Monk. Is that a good thing or a bad thing when your intention is bugging him?

Bookboy pulls out a DS and starts playing Fire Red.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Fire Red? Hah!

*holds up a DS that is playing Pokemon Diamond*

[Vhaidara]

Sends pictochat saying
Don't have it, don't want it.

[Lord Magtok]

Everything in the amrory has been replaced by books.

:smalleek: My...my guns...I spent years collecting all of those...was killed by Al Capone, Doc Holiday, and General Macarthur, and even the Red Baron during my search...AND YOU WIPED THEM ALL FROM EXISTENCE! I WILL DEDICATE THE REST OF MY LIFE TO KILLING YOU, YOUR FAMILY, AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO FAILED TO KILL YOU BEFORE YOU GOT HERE! :smallfurious:

[Vhaidara]

Where did you get the idea they were wiped from existence? I wanted a combat library, so I swapped all of the weapons with all of the books. Your guns are in the library.

[Saurous]

Saurous backs away slowly from Magtok, heading towards the study/TV room.

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy grabs Magtok Maggot by the cybernetic parts on his face, and drag him to the library.

[Lord Magtok]

Where did you get the idea they were wiped from existence? I wanted a combat library, so I swapped all of the weapons with all of the books. Your guns are in the library.

Just before hearing Bookboy say this, three dozen robotic tentacles descend from the ceiling, with pointy needles at the ends. Sparks fly from the needles, and the things rush at Bookboy to impale, electrocute, and stab him. They swarm towards him, and just before they can brutally kill him, Magtok presses a button and they go back to the ceiling, stopping at about a millimeter away from his face.

Oh, I'm sorry. My bad. Just let me know next time if you want to move stuff around, I don't like it when people mess around with my stuff.

Magtok walks away, headed for the Sega Genesis to play Sonic the Hedgehog 3. He also gives BB the middle finger for touching his face.

[Vhaidara]

You don't want to know what I did to the sega.

[Saurous]

"Am I the only one who is begginning to want to tie up Bookboy, and send him someplace completely inescapable and inaccesible just to get him out of everyone's hair?"

[Vespe Ratavo]

I'm with you Saurous.
Me too.
Carlos and Vespe ambush Bookboy and send him someplace completely inescapable and inaccesible just to get him out of everyone's hair.

[Vhaidara]

He escapes, and decides to try one of Maggot's guns.

[Lord Magtok]

You don't want to know what I did to the sega.

The same tentacles from before come out of the ceiling, and attempt to violently mess up Bookboy's face and take back the gun.

Nobody. Hurts. The Genesis. :smallannoyed:

[Vhaidara]

They mess up a book. Bookboy decides that his dull pocketknife will do and commences skinning Vespe and Carlos.

[Lord Magtok]

The tentacles leave the book, and then fly towards Bookboy again, while Magtok takes back the gun and fixes the Genesis.

Kid, you better hope I can fix this thing. And if anything happened to my saved file with all the emeralds, forty-five lives, and the game beaten, I'll make you so horribly disfigured, your own mother would run away screaming if she saw you.

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy hides the Genesis in a book, which the tentacles shred, thinking it's him!
You did it, not me!

[Saurous]

"Oy vey."

Saurous turns away, and heads into the study. He sits down on a couch, and pulls out a book on ways to torture annoying interns.

[Korith]

Nobody. Hurts. The Genesis. :smallannoyed:

Except Sega's business practices in the 90's, up until the turn of the millenium

*rimshot*

[Raistlin1040]

*Pop* Raistlin fizzles back into exitance. He then proceeds to kill Bookboy. With a rusty chainsaw. And a hockey mask.

[Vhaidara]

Raistlin just destroyed a book. Bookboy keeps skinning Vespe and Carlos until he can study their internal organs.

[Raistlin1040]

A god. Is. PISSED. The mighty god of n00b smiting kills Bookboy.

[Lord Magtok]

Except Sega's business practices in the 90's, up until the turn of the millenium

*rimshot*

Well yeah, but it wasn't until Sonic started talking that it really died. Sonic 3 was one of the last non-talky Sonic games made, and by far the best.

And Bookboy, if you leave my stuff alone, I'll vote for you for sidekick in the playground.

[Vhaidara]

The god smites a book.
What's the catch, Maggot?

[Lord Magtok]

No catch. You just leave me and my stuff alone, never even come near it, and I'll vote for you. There are plenty of other AMENites for you to torture.

And if you don't accept my generous offer, I'll burn every single book in this place, from the videogame manuals to Castaras's spellbooks.

[Raistlin1040]

Raistlin turns Bookboy into a book. Then lights it on fire.

[Vhaidara]

As tempting as that is, I'll have to say yes. But if you don't vote for me, you'll never see your precious guns again.

[Vhaidara]

Raistlin turned a book into a boook and lit it on fire. Basically, if you try and do something negative to me, you do it to a book.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Rex comes into to finding his book on fire. A Strong Raise shows on his face, but quickly turns into a smile.
"Hello. Are you new hear? What's your name?"

[Vhaidara]

My name is Bookboy, and I'm an intern here for six months. that He points at the book Was Raistlin. Most of the others were Maggot. Now I need to get back to skinning Vespe and Carlos with my rusty pocketknife. And yes, I mean rusty, not trusty.

[Rex Idiotarum]

"Really?" Rex retains his disturbingly pleasant smile. "Well, now, Let me show you to your room."

[Vhaidara]

OK, one moment.
He returns with Vespe and Carlos bound, hog tied, gagged, etc.
Let's go!

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Mystically materiallizing upon Fullbladder is a rather unfamiliar satchel, as well as a familiar, ordinary-looking crossbow. These two things replace the game boy color.

He fingers the weapn nervously and watches Rex lead Bookboy out of the room with strangely square eyes.

"Why must he dessicrate that most sacred of objects, the Book, so? Can he not be happy merely destroying sanity? I do not understand this.

"Perhaps a word with him, we shall have. Yessss. Not a very friendly word, nooooo."

He continues to fidget for a while, occasionally baring his teeth.

[Rex Idiotarum]

He leads Bookboy to a random stone wall. Then, the Rage returns to his face. In a flash, Rex slams the young lad into the wall, assisted with a powerful Paralyzing Grip.

"There are three rules that you should know to avoid death.
1. Don't mess with a Wizard's Book.
2. Don't Lie to a D9iviner.
3. Don't touch anything of Rex's. He. Will. Not. Hesitate. to kill you."
Thorned vines shoot up Rex's arm and tie around Bookboy's neck. Causing blood to trickle out. Rex has a crazed look, sadistic in his smile. Looking as if he wants to lick the blood or something.

[Vhaidara]

The vines wrap around a book. This will happen every time you try to hurt me. And rule three seems to me to be saying that you won't kill me unless i touch your stuff, but everyone else will kill me for existing.

[Raistlin1040]

Raistlin goes on a mass book-burning spree, screaming
Kill the agents of Bookboy!
RP watches, amused. He then proceeds to assist by hiting Bookboy over the head with a wooden chair.

[Rex Idiotarum]

"Hm... In that case..." An Evil smile comes accross Rex's Face. He pulls out a dagger and some Ink, and starts inscribing a new spell he just developed into Bookboy's Chest.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Might I suggest one of these?"

Fullbladder appears, late but looming as always. He holds out, between thumb and finger, and thin, hot-pink crossbow bolt.

"Enchanted. Near impossible to kill with it. Not true harm, tiny pinprick will do. Can cause madness in the maturity-impaired. Hormonal-changes, that sort of thing. You of all people should know, Rex. Doesn't cause harm, nor does it actually 'hurt'. No backing down with this new batch. Damn near permanent. Good luck, Rex."

Fullbladder slips the bolt in Rex's hand regardless of the latter's disposition about it, and walks back to the Fullbladder-shaped indentation in the couch and the gameboy next to it.

[Raistlin1040]

Rp plops down next to Fullbladder
Watcha playin'?

[Rex Idiotarum]

"Nice." Rex stabs Bookboy with the bolt. He then grabs a mirror and hands it to Bookbo-er, Bookgirl.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Pokemon Silver. I've beaten the game a dozen dozen times over and more, but I still have 48 breeds to collect.

"I dun trust them new beasties."

[Vhaidara]

Rex just stabbed the Wizards Book with a bolt.
I said hurt, not kill.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

In some strange wave of thoughtfulness, a second Fullbladder comes into existance, right next to Bookboy.

"The crossbow bolt does not kill, nor does it hurt. It vaporizes in the bloodstream before causing any physical damage.

"Oh, and you ducked away too late. That's the tip in your shoulder."

This Fullbladder, if now unnecessary, crumbles to dust.

(QBasic Speak:

INPUT: "Is Fullbladder now unnecessary (Y/N)", Fullbladder$
IF Fullbladder$ = "Y" THEN

PRINT "Fullbladder crumbles to dust."
ELSEIF Fullbladder$ = "N" THEN

PRINT "Fullbladder stands around until needed."
END IF
END
)

[Raistlin1040]

Very clever. I should make a new weapon. To the Workbench of Solitude!

[Vhaidara]

I have very sensitive skin. I can make myself hurt.

[Rex Idiotarum]

"I can hurt you without hurting the books. AoE's that don't harm inanimate objects would not harm the books, but they would certainly harm you. It takes a mere whim for me to spread noxious gasses throughout the room. Or Illusionary abilities would work well enough, can scare you to death. Hell,,,,,,,,,,, a simple Dominate Person spell should suffice. You can hide behind walls, but you are far from being free from harm."

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"My Explanation Drone was obviously unnecessary. I've come merely to play the minion-in-the-background part. I wouldn't miss this for a complete map of my genetic structure."

Fullbladder lurks some distance behind Rex's left shoulder, playing the part he mentioned.

[Vhaidara]

Screw this place. I'm out of here.
Bookboy's outta there.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the dragon.

"Okay, that sounded stupid."

[Castaras]

The kitchen portal opens. Castaras pokes her head out.

All's quiet?

She heads out of the kitchen and over to the armoury. She waves a hand, black, shadowy tentacles grabbing the potion guns out of the library and putting them back into the armoury. She heads back into the kitchen.

[V Junior]

Junior runs out of her room, screaming. REBEL MEERKATS!! RUN!!! She bolts the door behind her. That was so, so close.Now to get the loyal ones- oh. Oh dear. Oh dear. YOU TRAITOR!

What? Yes, I converted to Chaotic Good. You will not believe the amount of idiots out there who actually beleive that being Evil is better for you. Pfft. It's actually completely the opposite; you are more likely to be killed if you're evil then if you're good. CHARGE!!

An epic war between the rebel meerkats/DJ's meerkats and Junior's loyal meerkats.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly is taking a nap when her player decides to manifest. Because she can.
"Once again, I'm feeling happy. The following people get presnents that are non-harmful to the person who receives them: Rex, Castaras, Magtok, Lord Fullbladder, MC, V Junior, Raistlin, Uberblah and Vespe. The present is what you desire most. Saurous already has his and Bookboy's more annoying than all of V Juniors split personalities.
The following poeple just get presents: Happiness,Saphire, Lizzie, SP, MP, Carlos, RP, Rex's player, Maur and V Juniors pesonalities and Player. They can either harm or not. Happiness's present harms him in the way that AMEN desires most."

CP, having spread her benevolence enough decides to ritually sacrifice a paladin before going oss to find Curly's room; or a room she can take over.
Curly slumbers on, sprayed with paladin blood.

[V Junior]

Hey, cool! a sparkly gift! It's a... a... MEERKAT-PACK V2.0!!! Ahh! Oomph!! Not good!! Owww!
Hah. Now for some fun... Darkie snacthes an explosive alignment potion and throws it, running for cover. Junior dodges it as it explodes. AMEN is turned Lawful Good. Junior is left to sort it out.