Gage's Human only Barber shop

[Nightwing]

Gage's barber shop!

(Humans Only)



Here Is a nice place to get your hair cut. Music and toys for kids if they behave. some times Gage is in. If he is not in you will get your hair cut by either Tina or Peru (the NPCs). We also sell hair products. The one rule is that this is human only. We are now hiring. the building is incapably of being destroyed due to too many attempts to destroy it.

[Nightwing]

* a sign is put up that says now hiring*

[Vhaidara]

The sign is stolen by prankster goblin teenagers.

[Manal]

Kyle pushes open the door and looks around.
So you are you hiring? I saw three teens run down the street caring a sign saying NOW HIRING.

[Manal]

Kyle breacks free from deadtime and walks out of the Barber shop.

[Nightwing]

*Peru walks out side with a gun, and shoots the goblins in the leg. He then walks over, kicks them both in the head, picks up the sign, and walks back in side*

[thehothead]

That same automaton that just recently joined Xenos knocks on the door.

[Nightwing]

((You can walk right in. It is a barber shop.))


*Peru opens the door*

what can I do for you sir.

[thehothead]

The automaton makes a motion signifying writing.

[Nightwing]

*Peru hands him a pencil and paper*

[thehothead]

The automaton starts writing.

I not mouth. No talk. Are job here?

[Nightwing]

Do you want a job?

[thehothead]

The automaton nods.

[Nightwing]

Do you want a job cutting hair or working at the front desk?

[thehothead]

The automaton motions at the desk.

[Nightwing]

OK. your job is too just stand there, smile , hold up a sign that says welcome when people walk in, and give kids toys if they are good. you will find the toys in the desk. Oh, and if a none human comes in chase them out. Do you think you can do that?

[thehothead]

The automaton nods, then walks to behind the desk. It draws a smile on it's face with the pencil.

[Nightwing]

The pay will be 10 gp per costumer.

[thehothead]

The automaton nods.

[Nightwing]

*An elf walks in. Then Gage walks in*

Hey, elf. At least have the decency to look like a human before you die.


*he draws his gun, and shoots of the top of both of his pointy ears before shooting the elf in the head.*

Hey new guy, see that button on the bottom of the desk? press it.

[thehothead]

The automaton presses the button.

[Nightwing]

The front of the desk opens up and Gage throws the body into the desk. The desk then closes up.

[Nightwing]

Do you hate none Humans too? Gage asks the automation.

[thehothead]

Written:Joined XENOS. Why if not hate not-human?

DEADTIME.

[Nightwing]

*A dwarf walks in and starts complaining that he we should allowed dwarfs to get there hair cut just like human*

OK kid, time to prove your self. You think you can chase him out or kill him?

[thehothead]

The automaton walks over, picks the dwarf up, and hits the door with the dwarf. It then throws the dwarf out.

It procedes to write something down.

"Why called kid? Not youngster."

[Nightwing]

Sorry, habit of mine.


*The dwarf run back in and swings his hammer at the automation*

[thehothead]

The automaton picks up the dwarf again, rips out it's hair, walks out side, and shoves it inside the nearest garbage can. It then starts writing in the ground.

"No need cut now."

[Nightwing]

*20 dwarfs attack, and Gage guns dawn 6 of them.*

[thehothead]

The automaton picks up a dwarf, and starts hitting the other dwarfs with it. (Hurray for improvised weapons.)

[LordVader]

A random NPC walks by, and sighs at the needless slaughter. He then is ripped in half by a random old NPC with a chainsaw.

[Raistlin1040]

A crazy Kobold blows up the store. Sad day. Everyone died.

[thehothead]

Except it got hit with a dwarf flying through the air at 30 mph, forcing the explosives down it's throat, so just IT dies.

[Nightwing]

We got them all.

[LordVader]

Thirty random NPCS rush the store screaming "My life for Aiur!"

[Nightwing]

*Gage, Peru. and Tina start gunning them down, witch kills almost all of the NPCs*

[LordVader]

All the bullets bounce off of the NPC's shields. They are protoss.

[Nightwing]

((how much of the person do the shields cover?))

[LordVader]

((Full=body))
More NPC's pour in while still screaming "My Life for Aiur!"
They are armed with kobolds.

[Vhaidara]

(The only ways to get through Protoss shields are wearing them down with constant firing or hitting them with an EMP wave (EMP means electromagnetic pulse), then, either way, you still have to kill them.)

[thehothead]

((... If the shields are so good...))

the automaton picks up an attacking npc and starts hitting the others with it.

[LordVader]

The NPC's begin bludgedeoning the automaton with kobolds.
Stop mudering our friends!

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Ras appears at the battle, his mummified form materializing, along with a longhaired orc, behind the main scene of the battle. Grinning mischievously below his thick rappings, Ras grasps a pair of scissors in his dead, emaciated hand, the smell of days gone by mixing with soap as he begins to cut a mohawk for the orc, shaving off what little hair is left, delicately, with a pearl-handled razour.

[Nightwing]

Get out of my shop you dirty half orc!

*He fires a shot from his rifle at the half orc*

[LordVader]

The NPCs swarm the person who fired the shot.
Filthy murderer!

[thehothead]

The automaton is unable to respond, seeing as his mouth is drawn in pencil.
However, it grabs a kobold from the npc it's weilding, and throws it at ras.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

The bullet embeds itself in the mummy. Which is strange, since the mummy was standing to the other side and Gage's shot was clear.
"What'd he call me?"
"A Half-Orc," the mummy replied.
"The weak, pink thing with a gun thinks I'm part him?" the orc chuckled rhetorically. "Barber shop and a comedy club."
"I'll keep cutting," Ras said.
"You think he'll fire again?"
"If he wants to be overrun by the small army behind him, which is much better armed than he is and greatly outnumbers him, he might just take another shot at you," the mummy says.
"He looks dumb enough to try it."
"I'll armor you," Ras says, taking the hint and waving his hands in an arcane gesture.

[Nightwing]

*with his Rifle Gage bats away the men attacking him*

[thehothead]

The automaton grabs another kobold from the kobold weilding NPCs, and throws it at Ras. If the NPC continues to attempt to keep hold, it will probably be thrown as well.

[Emperor Ing]

Sereyentheous runs by, and turns his head

Whats going on here?

He then notices that the NPCs are using Kobolds as weapons, and falls to the ground laughing

[LordVader]

Since Gage cannot bat away 30 men, they attempt to grab the gun.

[thehothead]

((29 men, I'm weilding one of them as a weapon.))

The automaton may or may not throw a kobold at Sereyentheous, depending on his species.

[Emperor Ing]

An NPC in a cloak, and have many red cylinders along his belt. He charges in and goes into the crowd

He quickly removes the cloak as soon as hes in the open, and reveals more cylinders. He reveals a tiny cylinder with a red button on it, everybody takes cover. He is screaming

AAARRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

He presses it, the cylinders open, and many different colored springs shoot out of the cylinders, jumping around.

Sereyentheous sees it, and starts laughing so hard, hes casting very weak sonic spells in the sky

((btw if u wanna kno sereyentheous's species, his pic is my avatar, now does that look human?))

[thehothead]

Then yes he threw a Kobold at him.


((This thread is not meant to be funny! I wish I hadn't start it, but the automaton uses whatever weapons are on hand...))

[Emperor Ing]

Sereyentheous, still laughing very hard, is able to telekinetically catch the kobold. Having a natural admiration for the orange creatures, he heals him and lets him run away.

Hehehe...im not IN the shop, im just a 3rd party spectator....hahaha!!!

Resumes laughing

[LordVader]

((Okay, I'm done now. Act as though the NPCs were never there))
All of the NPCs disappear, and it's like they were never there.
((After he finishes up at the moon base, Raneus will be asking questions about the disappearance of the elf and the other innocents, so be ready))

[LordVader]

A massive Valkyrie transport lands on the road next to Ser.
Come on, the colonel needs you in orbit!
((the battle is deadtimed, but i will lift you up to the marshaling troops))

[thehothead]

((Only the elf was innocent! The others all attacked us! I threw out the dwarf without hurting it, then it tried to hit me with a hammer, and then OTHER dwarfs attacked.))

[LordVader]

((The elf, then. Nightwing made those attacks randomly happen anyways.))

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

(Excuse me, I did nothing worthy of being shot at and having a kobold thrown at me.)

"All right, we're done here," Ras nods, holding a mirror for the orc.
"Looks good."
"Anyone can cut a mohawk. Only I can do it in a room full of bigots who will probably burn this entire corner of the shop to get the memory of you out of it. That's where I excel. I don't just cut hair, I cut through other people's nerves. Look how angry he is. He's angry.
"Wonder why he hasn't shot as us."
"I think he went into catatonia when the kobold that machine hurled at me ran off, flinging your hair in terror. The entirety of his damnable shop is covered in orc hair, now."
"What now?"
"We go report him to the cops for assault."
"They'll actually help?"
"I recall the force here being quite multicultural."
The mummy starts to make a teleporting incantation before, with another bandage-hidden grin, he nods at the orc and saunters through the door, tipping his "Egyptian" headdress at the proprietors of the establishment. The Orc flips his mohawk to accentuate its presence.

[thehothead]

((Actually, I didn't fling a kobold at you, because, apparently, the npc who was weilding the kobold in the first place was never actually here. Figures.))

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

(Damn it, Jim, this is a messageboard, not a Capcom game! Stupid retcons.)

[blackout]

Three hover-APCs with Blackout Raider markings hover down the street and park outside. Soldiers pile out of them, and they immediately surround the building.

Soldier: This is the Temporary Police! Come out with your hands up!

[thehothead]

The automaton wipes the fake smile off it's face, then walks out. It writes something down, then hands it to someone.


This is Haydn. I heard the problem and dealt with it myself. It appears that there was a slight misconception, and according to local law, all that was required was a fine.
It then hands over some money as well.

[blackout]

Soldier: ...

The soldiers pile back into the hover-APCs and head down the street to Trog's.

[thehothead]

The Automaton walks back in and writes something else down.


Say thanks.

[Emperor Ing]

Ser walks into the Valkyrie, and it quickly takes off

[Nightwing]

You are in charge of the shop when I'm gone. Gage says to the automation. He then leaves.

[LordVader]

A Chimaera APC pulls up outside.
A squad of stormtroopers step out.
We are with the police, and are investigating the reported disappearance of an elf near here earlier. Please allow us inside to check the premises.

[Vhaidara]

Shadowbow walks up
What's this I hear about a murdered elf?

[LordVader]

An elf disappeared in the vicinity of this shop today, and it's racist overtones have put it under suspision. We would be grateful if you aided in our search.

[Nightwing]

We are a racist shop but we didn't kill any one. That is to extremist for us.

[LordVader]

Sure, like we'd believe a suspect. What, are you going to admit you did it? Come on.

[Nightwing]

Come on! Question me. I have a hair to cut! says Peru.

[LordVader]

We're searching the premises first. Keep up with business as usual.
They begin to fan out throughout the shop, looking around. One of them heads for the desk.

[Nightwing]

you dont have a warrant!

[LordVader]

Yes we do.
He pulls out the warrant.
And we have probable cause. So just let us investigate, please.
((Note: as of now, me and Blackout are heading up the police until we can get the force reorganized. Therefore, if caught you will face the normal fine and punishment for murder))

[Nightwing]

OK! search!

[Vhaidara]

Shadowbow tenses then leaves before anyone can notice.

[LordVader]

One of the stormtroopers knocks on the desk.
Hey, this is hollow!
He begins to aim his hellgun at it.

[Nightwing]

*It is connected to the floor! The desk just leads into the incinerator.))

[LordVader]

The shot goes off, blowing a hole in the desk. They see it's got a tunnel leading down. All guns move up to point at barbershop employees.
Consider yourself under arrest. If you can explain this, I suggest you try now.
((Note: Stormtroopers are like the equivalent of 2nd-3rd lvl fighters))

[Nightwing]

Its an incinerator. Its were we sweep all the hair into. And I'm suing you for property damage.


((If there are any remains of body's there Tena has already cleaned them out. She Cleans the incinerator every day))

[LordVader]

Then why is it hidden in a desk?
((She has to dump them somewhere))

[Nightwing]

((She gets rid of the ashes))

We had it on the top of the desk, but A kid kept pressing the button and wearing out the batteries, so we put it on the bottom.

[LordVader]

I don't believe you. How can you sweep hair into a desk? You're still under arrest.
((The incinerator doesn't fully cremate bones, you know.))

[Nightwing]

You press the button and the front of the desk opens up. under the desk is a hole that leads to the incinerator. You sweep the hair into the hole.

[LordVader]

Show us where you dump the ashes.

[Nightwing]

((She hid the bones too))

I dont know. Tena is the one that gets ride of them. I have not seen her in two days though.

[LordVader]

You're still under arrest, then.

[Nightwing]

Fine, take me away. you dont have a case against me.

[Vhaidara]

Shadowbow's voice sounds in the officer's head.
{If she's been gone for a few days, and this happened in the last two days, who dumped it?}

[LordVader]

If she's been gone, who dumped it? Check the incinerator.(to squadmate)

[Nightwing]

she dumped it. She left Right after after she did it. she said something about a business trip. I dont know what she was talking about.


((you wont find any thing in the incinerator except burnt hair))

[Vhaidara]

(This happened two days ago, tops. You said she'd been gone for a few days.)

[LordVader]

((Few means at least three days))

[Nightwing]

((mabye he thought it was three days ago))

[LordVader]

((nope, too late. You're caught.))

[Nightwing]

((I'm serious guys! I did not know how many days ago it was so a guessed about three))

[LordVader]

((I'm serious too. Next time, don't go killing people for no reason- the police is back in town. :smalltongue:))
What the-Bones? You're under arrest for murder.
((Relax, it's just a fine and 36hrs, not the death penalty. :smalltongue:))

[Nightwing]

((were did you find any bones?))

[LordVader]

Incinerator doesn't cremate bones.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe runs up and sets the shop on fire.
Racists! Freedom forever! Elves rule!
He then spits on the burning shop and runs off.

[Nightwing]

((Did you miss the part about she took he bones too? Post 89. also, you cant destroy the building, see the first post.))

[Vespe Ratavo]

(($&%*. Oh well.))
Vespe, realizing that the building can not be burned, summons several elves, dwarves, orcs, etc. to protest outside the front.

[darkblade]

((I wonder why the protestor only go to the barber shop and not to XENOS.))

[Nightwing]

((because it is easer protesting at a barber shop right in town with know defenses than a castle up on a mountain out side of town that has lasers that shot you. just a thought.))

[Vespe Ratavo]

((Didn't know about it. Anyway, I'm going off to other parts of the forums. The Town is dead, people. AMEN is here to dance on its grave.))

[darkblade]

((Shhh no one about the lasers))

[thehothead]

((How did they get to the incinerater? they haven't been directed to it's entrance.))

[LordVader]

((Nightwing, Gage specifically stated she had been gone for three days, and the murder occured two days ago. They searched the desk, saw it was hollow, and shot it open, and were promptly told a series of unconvincing stories.))

[Nightwing]

((ow do you know the drow is missing? Who told you?))

[LordVader]

((His friends and family. Also, NPC's heard gunshots. Should've used a silencer.:smalltongue: We'll let you off with assualt.))

[Nightwing]

((Ha! lier! his family is dead and he has know friends. Also the walls have pads in the that absorb sound. You have to have them when you kill people routinely))

[LordVader]

((No they don't, or you would have said they did when the shot was fired.:smallannoyed:))
Alright, buddy, hands behind your back. You're coming with us.

[Nightwing]

((But..but god modding has always worked before.:smalleek: ))

*Peru puts his hands behind his back*

[LordVader]

((Yeah, but it still pisses people off.:smalltongue: I swear, some day, I'm firing Baron Law into the sun.:smallbiggrin:))
Deadtime, but unfortunately Gage is the one under arrest, not Peru.

[Nightwing]

((still wont kill it. There is only one way to kill it! and I'm not telling you what it is!:smalltongue: ))

[LordVader]

((Don't need to kill it, I'll just have Ser do what IK did.:smalltongue:))
Don't move until the troopers come out of deadtime, or you'll be fleeing the law as well.

[thehothead]

((I ask again, how did they get inside the incinerater? crawling down an incinerater would be just plain stupid.))

[LordVader]

((They looked down.:smalltongue: They have binoculars and suchlike.))

[thehothead]

((And you really think we would have been stupid enough not to cover up the bones? That sort of thing should go without saying.))

[LordVader]

((You never said you did. That generally means you didn't do it. Also, the manager seems pretty stupid to begin with, by just randomly shooting people.:smalltongue:))

[thehothead]

((The rogue automaton isn't. But I'll concede with you about the fact that we never said we did. However, we don't know if it's actually SHAPED in a way you could see what's inside. It might not be strait.))

[LordVader]

((Then you'd have to go down inside to push the things into the incinerator. If it's curved, they sent a probe down inside.))

[thehothead]

((Ok then, that works.))

[Nightwing]

((In post 89 I said I got rid of the bones!))

[LordVader]

((No, that's godmodding. You "got rid of them" after I came. Since you didn't specifcally state she hid them, she didn't. You need to re-read the rules.))

[Nightwing]

((OK, fine but you still wont have arrested the right man. Peru did not know about the Murder. In fact he did not know about any of the murders.:smalltongue: Loser.

[LordVader]

Gage, as the shop's proprietor, is under arrest, and has been the one under arrest the whole time.

[Nightwing]

((Nope! Gage has not been here! He left post 68. You have been talking To Peru, the Barber.))

[LordVader]

Wait, you're not Gage? What do you know about the murder? Gage is under arrest as well when he gets back.
((thanks for clearing that up, sorry.:smallfrown:))

[Nightwing]

So this guy that I "supposedly" murdered. What was his name.

[LordVader]

We never said you murdered him. In fact, we believe the shop owner did. We're just holding you until he returns- you're most likely not facing any time. You don't need to know his name.
((That's crap, you never said his name, so I'm not responding, per se, to that.))

[Nightwing]

((I know. I just wanted to bug you.))

So, are you going to take me down to the station.

[LordVader]

No, we're waiting here until Gage gets back. But if you don't start cooperating, you're looking at obstruction of justice charges.

[Nightwing]

I will give him a call and tell him to come here.

*He presses a few numbers on the telephone and the wall spins around and Peru is thrown into the streets. *

Now I know why he installed that.

[LordVader]

FREEZE!The APC points it's turret at Peru, and the stormtroopers blow the wall apart with a grenade.

[thehothead]

A sense of Amusement seems to be drifting from the automaton.

[Nightwing]

*Peru draws his pistol and shoots open a man hole. He jumps into the sewers*

[LordVader]

((You can't shoot open a man hole,:smalltongue:))
Since you cannot, in fact, shoot open a man hole, the stormtroopers are frozen until Nightwing edits his post.

[thehothead]

((WHat if it's a magic gun, or was already treated in case?))

[LordVader]

((Since he never said it was, it isn't. You have to state it is. And what do you mean by a "magic" handgun?:smalltongue: ))

[Gnrlshrimp]

((A gun with enchantments on it to make it more powerful or something similar. Or maybe to make it fire flaming bullets. That kind of thing.))

[LordVader]

((Yeah, but he didn't say it was, so it isn't. Still can't believe he thinks he can shoot through a manhole cover.:smallannoyed:))

[Gnrlshrimp]

((If the gun was magic he could...))

[LordVader]

((But he never said it was.))

[Vhaidara]

(Also, a single bullet hole wouldn't be that big. I think Nightwing meant the bullet hits the edge and flips the man hole cover off.)

[LordVader]

((The manhole is recessed into the ground, therefore that won't work.))

[Vhaidara]

(I know. I'm on your side in this.:smalltongue: )

[Nightwing]

*Realizing he cant shoot it open. he holsters the gun and simply lifts up the man hole* (( he is very strong. He was a former solder, and wait lifter, and adventurer. He has done it all. He is just a barber because he got tired of it.))

[LordVader]

While he is lifting the man hole off, the stormtroopers come crashing through the wall, and the APC rounds the corner.
FREEZE!

[Nightwing]

*He dives down into the sewers*

[LordVader]

They blast at him with hellguns, and then hurl grenades into the hole, and jump in after him.

[thehothead]

The automata looks to see if anything of the troopers' is unattended.

[LordVader]

Nothing is, and the APC is still outside, with its crew.