The REAL reason we haven't seen team evil lately

[pendell]

Overheard in Philadelphia ...

:xykon: ... and I want 50% of the revenue, that's REVENUE, not PROFIT, and 50% of the merchandising, and a per-scene fee of...

Rich: Are you kidding me? What part of "net weight of a movie usher" do you not understand? If I paid you all of that , you MIGHT be able to afford an extra happy meal and I couldn't pay the rent.

:xykon: Skeleton. I don't buy happy meals.

Rich: ...

Rich: So what DOES an animate skeleton with too much attitude spend money on?

:xykon: Bling, of course. And lots of it. Like that shiny crown of mine you BORROWED FOR A WHOLE BOOK AS A PROP.

Rich: BECAUSE WE'RE STRAPPED FOR CASH. DEAL!

:xykon: That was BOOKS AGO before the kickstarter! Come on, I'm the VILLAIN of the story. You're going to have the villain just disappear and not have him show up again?

Rich: Do you honestly believe I can't find another skeleton in a robe to read your lines? I've done it before! (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0426.html)

:xykon: Just try it!

Rich: Heck, maybe I won't even bother with an animate skeleton! I'll just use Dead Wizard Guy skeleton (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0379.html) from 379 and have someone else voice your lines!

:mitd: Can I do the voice-over? I've been practicing my deep, dramatic basso voice. Like this , see? MORTALS, COWER IN FEAR!

:xykon: ...

Rich: ...

:xykon: .... Still a frightening as an ice cream sundae.

Rich: I know . That's why I haven't shown him once.

:mitd: Ah, c'mon! I agreed to do this role for exposure. You told me it'd be great for my career! But I haven't been once EXPOSED in this whole story! Some exposure! And the calls haven't exactly been rolling in for a [REDACTED] from Hollywood. Godzilla movies don't happen every year, and they all want CGI now!

Rich : ... How about you, Redcloak? You've been noticeably silent up to now.

:redcloak: I'm in this for the love of the art, so I don't care. I knew you couldn't pay me much, so I work a day job. "Exposure" hasn't worked out for me. I couldn't even land a gig in Peter Jackson's Hobbit! Think about it, they could have had an honest-to-goodness goblin overlord with a villainous plan and witty sarcasm, and instead they go with a flippin' CGI monstrosity with white skin and blue eyes! Whoever heard of blue eyes on a goblin? Talk about cultural appropriation!

Rich: Maybe they were afraid you'd overshadow Sauron, the actual villain of the story?

:redcloak: Well, EXCUSE ME that the main villain is a CGI eye! Who couldn't overshadow that?

:xykon: ... you work a day job?

:redcloak: Sure, claims adjuster at an insurance company. I spend all day reading OTHER people's medical claims and , at the end of the day, I just want to throw the files in a bin, put on a cloak, and get my BWAHAHAHAAA on.

:xykon: ...

:redcloak: All I ask is a dramatic scene where we waltz on the stage and massacre all these no-hoper villain wannabes and remind everyone who the REAL VILLAINS OF THIS STORY ARE.

Rich: ... I'll think about it. Wait a minute, is that a wire?

$@#$$!#$! SIGNAL LOST
NO CARRIER

So that's why we haven't seen Team Evil lately. What Hollywood would call "creative differences" with the acting team. :)

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

[Velaryon]

Well done! That was a thoroughly enjoyable read.

Please expect a subpoena from attorneys Jones and Rodriguez regarding your leaking of my client's confidential negotiations.

Sincerely,

Lord Xykon's agent

[Rogar Demonblud]

The sad thing is, I can really see Redcloak as an insurance adjuster.

[Darth Paul]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

This forum needs Like buttons.

Your post would skyrocket. SKYROCKET, I tell you!!!

[orrion]

That's ice cream sundae!

[Dr.Zero]

Quite funny. :)
And completely coherent with the old OOTS' habit of breaking the 4th wall. ;)
(Which I loved so much, and miss a fair bit, btw!)

[Cizak]

Quite funny. :)
And completely coherent with the old OOTS' habit of breaking the 4th wall. ;)
(Which I loved so much, and miss a fair bit, btw!)

Last time was one strip ago. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots1015.html)
And 21 strips before that. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0994.html)
And the one before that. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0993.html)

[Bobbybobby99]

Good heavens, that had a kick to it. I think my ribs just cracked. You know, from all the ribbing.
Sorry, my puns are terrible.

[Dr.Zero]

Last time was one strip ago. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots1015.html)
And 21 strips before that. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0994.html)
And the one before that. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0993.html)

True. :)
It must be that I'm getting old, thus I remember everything happening in the past as being far better. :)

[Rift_Wolf]

Xykon: Hey Mr. Director! I want to talk about this coffee!

Rich: you can't drink coffee anymore!

Xykon: That's why I want to talk about it...


When I opened this I expected 'They're all dead from being injected with latent Miko cells and the Twelve Gods now have the Snarl!' i was pleasantly surprised :)

[KorvinStarmast]

It must be that I'm getting old, thus I remember everything happening in the past as being far better. :)
Actually, I am of that vintage, and I can say that within about three sigmas, the 70's sucked much a$$, with the exception of the invention of D&D.

Heck, the Stones even made an album about it (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sucking_in_the_Seventies)!

[Euclidodese]

The thing is, since 947, Rich has been filming all the scenes in High Definition, and in HD you can make out the MitD's antenna through the magical darkness, plus you can see Redcloak's tan-lines and the puppeteer operating Xykon.

The producers are working on costume and make-up solutions.

[pendell]

That's ice cream sundae!

Why ? It says something else? :looks shifty:

BTW, the original Star Wars came out in the 70s. You remember, the one in which Han shot first :smallamused: .

Glad you all enjoyed it!

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

[KorvinStarmast]

BTW, the original Star Wars came out in the 70s. You remember, the one in which Han shot first :smallamused: .
Well, OK, we'll grudgingly give the 70's the advent of Star Wars, and yes, Han Shot First. That a heresy has since been perpetrated does not sit well, likewise the problem of that long eared disaster.

[rodneyAnonymous]

The problem with the phrase "Han shot first" is that it implies Greedo shot at all.

[Dasgovernator]

The sad thing is, I can really see Redcloak as an insurance adjuster.

Now you've given me an idea for a LN cleric-based Health Insurance plan for my adventuring party.

"Sorry, you have not yet reached your Restoration deductible for this quarter. You are still liable for 50% of the GP cost, plus a service charge. Also, your friend's Resurrection policy has lapsed, and we need to collect a 1000GP re-institution fee before casting can commence. Naturally, your monthly rates will be going up, for this and for increased risk due to your relocation to the approximately CR 12 Forest of Doom from the CR 10 Valley of Despair. Please sign on the dotted line"

[Swordsmith]

Actually, I am of that vintage, and I can say that within about three sigmas, the 70's sucked much a$$, with the exception of the invention of D&D.

Heck, the Stones even made an album about it (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sucking_in_the_Seventies)!

OH man, you made me look... I thought you meant they made an album about the invention of D&D!

[KorvinStarmast]

OH man, you made me look... I thought you meant they made an album about the invention of D&D! Sorry, and for that, I suggest you read
Of Dice and Men
Empire of the Imagination
Playing at the World

[denthor]

Why ? It says something else? :looks shifty:

BTW, the original Star Wars came out in the 70s. You remember, the one in which Han shot first :smallamused: .

Glad you all enjoyed it!

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Respectably Brian han Solo normally shot first but it was the only shot in the scene

[Rift_Wolf]

The problem with the phrase "Han shot first" is that it implies Greedo shot at all.

'Han Shot' doesn’t have the same ring.

[KorvinStarmast]

'Han Shot' doesn’t have the same ring. OK, Han drew first?

[Rogar Demonblud]

Greedo drew first by several minutes, mate. Han still got off the first shot.

[Commander672]

"Greedo Never Shot"?

Off Topic. OP that was wonderful. You made my day!

[Dracon1us]

Overheard in Philadelphia ...

:xykon: ... and I want 50% of the revenue, that's REVENUE, not PROFIT, and 50% of the merchandising, and a per-scene fee of...

Rich: Are you kidding me? What part of "net weight of a movie usher" do you not understand? If I paid you all of that , you MIGHT be able to afford an extra happy meal and I couldn't pay the rent.

:xykon: Skeleton. I don't buy happy meals.

Rich: ...

Rich: So what DOES an animate skeleton with too much attitude spend money on?

:xykon: Bling, of course. And lots of it. Like that shiny crown of mine you BORROWED FOR A WHOLE BOOK AS A PROP.

Rich: BECAUSE WE'RE STRAPPED FOR CASH. DEAL!

:xykon: That was BOOKS AGO before the kickstarter! Come on, I'm the VILLAIN of the story. You're going to have the villain just disappear and not have him show up again?

Rich: Do you honestly believe I can't find another skeleton in a robe to read your lines? I've done it before! (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0426.html)

:xykon: Just try it!

Rich: Heck, maybe I won't even bother with an animate skeleton! I'll just use Dead Wizard Guy skeleton (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0379.html) from 379 and have someone else voice your lines!

:mitd: Can I do the voice-over? I've been practicing my deep, dramatic basso voice. Like this , see? MORTALS, COWER IN FEAR!

:xykon: ...

Rich: ...

:xykon: .... Still a frightening as an ice cream sundae.

Rich: I know . That's why I haven't shown him once.

:mitd: Ah, c'mon! I agreed to do this role for exposure. You told me it'd be great for my career! But I haven't been once EXPOSED in this whole story! Some exposure! And the calls haven't exactly been rolling in for a [REDACTED] from Hollywood. Godzilla movies don't happen every year, and they all want CGI now!

Rich : ... How about you, Redcloak? You've been noticeably silent up to now.

:redcloak: I'm in this for the love of the art, so I don't care. I knew you couldn't pay me much, so I work a day job. "Exposure" hasn't worked out for me. I couldn't even land a gig in Peter Jackson's Hobbit! Think about it, they could have had an honest-to-goodness goblin overlord with a villainous plan and witty sarcasm, and instead they go with a flippin' CGI monstrosity with white skin and blue eyes! Whoever heard of blue eyes on a goblin? Talk about cultural appropriation!

Rich: Maybe they were afraid you'd overshadow Sauron, the actual villain of the story?

:redcloak: Well, EXCUSE ME that the main villain is a CGI eye! Who couldn't overshadow that?

:xykon: ... you work a day job?

:redcloak: Sure, claims adjuster at an insurance company. I spend all day reading OTHER people's medical claims and , at the end of the day, I just want to throw the files in a bin, put on a cloak, and get my BWAHAHAHAAA on.

:xykon: ...

:redcloak: All I ask is a dramatic scene where we waltz on the stage and massacre all these no-hoper villain wannabes and remind everyone who the REAL VILLAINS OF THIS STORY ARE.

Rich: ... I'll think about it. Wait a minute, is that a wire?

$@#$$!#$! SIGNAL LOST
NO CARRIER

So that's why we haven't seen Team Evil lately. What Hollywood would call "creative differences" with the acting team. :)

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

well, thank you.
I need so badly my dose of my Evil

[Deliverance]

That was great, though "net weight of a movie usher" in "What part of "net weight of a movie usher" do you not understand?" went over my head; What is it a reference to?

[Rogar Demonblud]

The fact there aren't movie ushers any more, which also leads to obnoxious people not getting chucked out of the theater for talking on their damn phones.

[KorvinStarmast]

The fact there aren't movie ushers any more, which also leads to obnoxious people not getting chucked out of the theater for talking on their damn phones. This, both parts .... very well said. :smallcool:

[pendell]

Back in 1989, I was a movie usher for a brief time in high school. I earned $5.15 an hour, which was minimum wage at the time.

Possibly that is also something Rich was referencing ; it's a minimum-wage job with no retirement benefits or extra perks (aside from watching the movies). Or was, back in the 80s. At my local cinema, they still have people to take the tickets so it's not completely disappeared.

Respectfully,

Brian P.