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Stuebi
2015-12-30, 03:17 AM
Hey there good folks!

This is kind of a hard one for me, and has been on my mind for quite a while.

I have been roleplaying in different environments for a while now. And as all of you probably know, there's a whole set of problems that may ocassionally arise from the Hobby. Be it Drama, arguments, bad sessions, whatever. But I was able to handle that kind of stuff. Be it trough talking, taking a few step backs and taking a deep breath, or just plain backing out for a while. But one thing just keeps creeping back in, and I feel so incredibly stupid for it. To the point where I get angry at myself, it sometimes follows me outside the hobby, and just yesterday, it caused me a night of very poor sleep.

Basically, did your or any of your players ever get jealous during play? Be it from lack fo attention, relationships or even romance? Usually there should be enough distance between me and my characters for that not to happen, but ocassionally i will get irrationally jealous at the stupidest things and I feel like a moron because of it.

Mutazoia
2015-12-30, 04:34 AM
Hey there good folks!

This is kind of a hard one for me, and has been on my mind for quite a while.

I have been roleplaying in different environments for a while now. And as all of you probably know, there's a whole set of problems that may ocassionally arise from the Hobby. Be it Drama, arguments, bad sessions, whatever. But I was able to handle that kind of stuff. Be it trough talking, taking a few step backs and taking a deep breath, or just plain backing out for a while. But one thing just keeps creeping back in, and I feel so incredibly stupid for it. To the point where I get angry at myself, it sometimes follows me outside the hobby, and just yesterday, it caused me a night of very poor sleep.

Basically, did your or any of your players ever get jealous during play? Be it from lack fo attention, relationships or even romance? Usually there should be enough distance between me and my characters for that not to happen, but ocassionally i will get irrationally jealous at the stupidest things and I feel like a moron because of it.

That is something that happens to a lot of role players eventually. You get so invested in your character and his/her back story that you tend to identify with the character a little more than you should. I've played with a guy who HAD to have his character get married in every RPG we played...and would get truly upset if something bad happened to his imaginary game wife, to the point of storming out of sessions, cussing all the way.

The more you are into the actual "role play" of the role playing game, the more likely you'll have this happen now and then.

Gastronomie
2015-12-30, 06:13 AM
In the Paranoia game, you get upset when you don't die.
You get jealous of that guy who tried to teleport and failed, finding himself falling into a pool of molten lava in some utterly random volcano that never appeared anywhere else in the scenario.
You get jealous of that guy whose face blew up because his nuclear toothbrush malfunctioned and caused fusion reaction inside his mouth.
You get jealous of that guy who ate an hamburger with a time bomb stuck inside the meat and later exploded into smithreens.
It's game of how hilarious you can make your death(s), so when the Ultra-Violet (GM) doesn't make your death(s) memorable (and everyone dies five to six times either way), sometimes, you could get jealous of those who succeeded in making everyone laugh.

And if you get upset because your characters die or get thrown into tragic events, Call of Cthulhu is your best bet.
Okay, so, maybe not.


Anyhow, as a foremost rule, I believe "good roleplaying" is actually not about acting as your character, it's about creating a fun story with the other players and the GM. If the GM kills your wife-in-game, you could protest-later-that you didn't think it made the story better or put it in a weird and originally unintended direction, but you're by all means unallowed to protest because you "personally got upset by it".

I myself have done more writing novels than acting or roleplaying, so perhaps that's one reason for this, but I see my characters as nothing but "pieces of a story". If Shakespeare got upset about Romio and Juliet dying and decided to keep both of them alive till the end, that would have been like, the stupidest play ever. Sometimes your character could end up in tragic situations. In which case, the problem isn't whether the character is pitiful or not - it's whether it makes the story more interesting.
(If the GM does mean stuff to the character for no apparent reason and ends up making the story boring or uninteresting, that GM sucks due to this reason, but anyways.)

EDIT: I just realized the thread creator's avatar is Envy and while I'm not sure whether this thread has something to do with it or not, either way it gave me some good giggles.

themaque
2015-12-30, 09:40 AM
Speaking of Jealousy:

I once a player and my girlfriend was the GM.

I had made a character who fancied himself a ladies man, and would flirt shamelessly with most women he encountered.

My girlfriend got jealous at ME for my CHARACTER flirting with other women SHE was running as NPC.

That was awkward to say the least.



If you are using Jealousy and Envious interchangeably:

In a more traditional role, I have been envious of other players attention or goals. In a long running campaign we had one character become an envoy to his god, a druid gave birth to an fae creature that bordered on a god herself, and another brought Shadow Magic into the realm. All these big huge story accomplishments and I was just some guy who put threw pointed sticks at people. (archer)

I approached the GM and talked to him about why I felt I was being left out. He simply asked me "How much damage do you do a round? How optimized is your character?" the answer was "All the Damage" and "A Lot" so I understood. I got less story because he let me get away with being more cheeky mechanically than the others. I understood, felt better about it, and made my own story plans to get stuff myself.

Currently I'm just envious of people who get regular games! Curse you shift work!

BWR
2015-12-30, 11:51 AM
Not that I've noticed. Some of us can get grumpy or irritated or whatever at lack of screentime, impact on story, nerfing or loss of character, perceived unfairness of treatment, etc. but I can't recall anything resembling jealousy over these issues. Neither is SOs confusing character flirting++ with real world flirting++ a problem.

Mark Hall
2015-12-30, 02:04 PM
Speaking of Jealousy:

I once a player and my girlfriend was the GM.

I had made a character who fancied himself a ladies man, and would flirt shamelessly with most women he encountered.

My girlfriend got jealous at ME for my CHARACTER flirting with other women SHE was running as NPC.

That was awkward to say the least.


Clicked the topic just to tell that story. :smallbiggrin:

mikeejimbo
2015-12-30, 02:34 PM
I get jealous incredibly easily in real life, but I've never been jealous of another's story focus. I always appreciate when I get story focus though.

My characters are rarely the jealous type either. They're usually too in their own world to notice.

Martin Greywolf
2016-01-01, 07:43 AM
This sort of jealousy (and not only that) is something that is known to happen when you immerse yourself in the role. It used to be that actors used to either try to get into their characters' head or draw up on their own experiences to invoke emotions in themselves. It was rather effective and produced great acting, but...

It was discovered that it's less than healthy. Acting as someone hearing a love confession from their crush is fine, acting as a torture victim? Less so. This was even demonstrably capable of causing PTSD in actors, so this method was dropped in favor of more analytical acting - look at what upset person looks like and mimic that consciously without necessarily feeling the emotion in yourself (or at least without feeling it as strongly).

The method I use to keep a calm head and make decisions - or when I'm DMing and have several characters that need to be kept separate in my head - is to employ what some call the lizard brain, the cold and purely analytical part of your mind. When you feel upset, retreat to it, and analyze if your character also feels upset and if so, what would be the best course of action, leading to the most interesting story.

If you get upset because of what is going on between players, this doesn't help, of course. You'll just have to think about why it's happening at home and talk it out. No one said human interaction was gonna be easy...

Knaight
2016-01-01, 08:47 PM
I can't say I've ever seen this, in either myself or any of the numerous people I've gamed with. It just doesn't come up.

Sitri
2016-01-01, 10:48 PM
Basically, did your or any of your players ever get jealous during play? Be it from lack fo attention, relationships or even romance?

A buddy of mine who gets super enthusiastic at games (he literally took a victory lap around the block one night after a game of REX) invited his wife to play Pathfinder with us one night when he DMing a PFS game. His wife, who had never played any RPGs immediately started flirting with the broken, internet-build, multiclass, character that was killing everything before we could touch it. My buddy just kept falling into stunned silence and staring at her. Once or twice he said words to the effect of "I really can't believe you are doing this." I don't know what words went on after the game was over, but she never played with us again.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, if my wife plays a female character, there is a 90% chance that character is going to be a slut. Everyone seems to laugh and have a good time, and it has never gotten to the point of detailing sex scenes. It is just a game, it doesn't bother me in the least.

It is a completely different experience watching a guy trying to roleplay a slutty female character. That can be a strange blend of amusing awkward with most of the people sitting around the table slack-jawed.

Sajiri
2016-01-02, 06:34 AM
I've been jealous at the DM giving clear favortism to another player who didnt deserve any of it. I mean that as in the person wasnt getting involved at all, was stalling the game sometimes for weeks at a time by not showing up or just suddenly deciding he wasnt going to take part in the session anymore without telling us. I got that the DM was giving him all this help and tips, and overpowered abilities to try to make the player open up and get more involved, but it was to the detriment of the rest of the group and our enjoyment.

Although now since we play single player campaigns only that's not an issue anymore. Will have to see how that goes when we start a new game with 2 extra players in the near future.

RickAllison
2016-01-06, 03:49 AM
That is something that happens to a lot of role players eventually. You get so invested in your character and his/her back story that you tend to identify with the character a little more than you should. I've played with a guy who HAD to have his character get married in every RPG we played...and would get truly upset if something bad happened to his imaginary game wife, to the point of storming out of sessions, cussing all the way.

The more you are into the actual "role play" of the role playing game, the more likely you'll have this happen now and then.

I tend not to enjoy those plot twists either, though my reactions are in the game itself; they tend to end up in my PCs doing very horrible things that the late spouse probably would not approve of...

"Yes, I offer the blood from three bullied kids for max Dexterity, Firearms, and Drive, the hand of an innocent woman for you to help me steal a tank, and the life of this street thug so you can pilot a fighter to protect me. That should be enough to eradicate that vampire coven. Thank you, Demon of Wrath!"