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JBPuffin
2016-01-04, 04:53 AM
This is the beta version of one of my favorite 4e races, the Shardminds. PEACH, and more fluff is on the way eventually. Prime concerns are technical wordings on the racial traits.


Cataclysmic Origins
Shardminds were created when the Living Gate, a construct of psionically-resonant gemstones made to block the Far Realm out of the Material Plane and Astral Realms, was opened and consequentially shattered as abominations poured through it. No one knows who opened it – some say an adventurer with too much curiosity, others a long-forgotten god, further still the aberrations themselves exploiting a weakness in the structure – but it is known that it took several gods to create the next line of defense, using the very same shards that now lay strewn around the gaping hole in the Realms. The gods massed as many shards as they could into a single chunk and tossed it into the Material Plane, a crystalline meteor carrying salvation…
Activation
When the meteor struck, it scattered its load across the Material Plane: crystalline seeds bearing the fledgling minds of shardminds. These crystals do not develop into an operational shardmind, however, until a person comes within five feet of a shard. Once this happens, over the course of a minute the shard digs itself through whatever stone or such is around it until it’s in the same open area as the target, scans the awakener’s mind, and combines that information with that of dead shardminds whose memories have become part of a sort of “knowledge bank” they all share. Then the crystal absorbs some rock, soil, and particles in the air and uses them to build a body for its newly-formed conscious. Shardminds thus arrive in the world as adults fully prepared for a life of adventuring and protecting the world from extraterrestrial monstrosities.
Rationally Emotional
The most bizarre part of the race has to be their relationship with emotions. Psionic energy, being such a powerful conduit for feelings, allows them to experience them; however, as constructs after a fashion, they know precisely why they feel what they do and get a choice as to how they react. This dichotomy is, without a doubt, the distinguishing trait between two shardminds – where one may remain stone-faced in the face of certain death, another might burst into tears at every dead body they find, and a third might do both. Balancing the blend is a shardmind’s primary challenge in social interactions.

Shardmind Names: Shardminds do not have genders, although some manipulate their crystals to appear masculine or feminine. They draw on forgotten languages for their names, many almost unintelligible to a common person.
Names: Amata, Arshaka, Arwia, Balashi, Bashanu, Belessunu, Dipana, Erishti, Eshunu, Hunzu, Iltani, Ishmea, Kuaya, Kubaba, Kuri, Manishtu, Naram, Nuraya, Seluku, Tabni, Ubashu, Utua, Zakiti
Ability Scores: Your Charisma, Constitution, and Intelligence increase by 1.
Age: Shardminds don’t really age so much as weather. Shardminds who have recently arrived on the Material Plane usually have sharper edges to their component crystals and are more tightly packed together; older shardminds’ shards are smoother and smaller, meaning they are less compact and move more fluidly.
Alignment: Shardminds exhibit no alignment tendencies; each is an individual, balancing their original servile guardian purpose with strong emotional reactions and memories of times long forgotten.
Size: Your size is Medium.
Speed: Your base walking speed is 30 feet.
Crystalline Memories: As a shardmind, you draw on the memories and knowledge of your people from before the Shattering. You gain proficiency in an Intelligence-based skill of your choice (Arcana, History, Investigation, Nature, or Religion). (Note – You cannot use this proficiency to get a non-Intelligence skill. Apply this first, then use your class/background skills to cheese your way along :P)
Gemstone Constructs: You are made of what appears to be large crystals and do not require air, food, or drink.
Mental Realignment: Shardminds don’t need to sleep. Instead, they meditate deeply, remaining semiconscious, for 4 hours a day. (The Common word for such meditation is “realignment.”) While meditating, you can hold conversations with various manifestations of yourself or others; these may be either your perceptions of these people, imaginary advisors or allies, or simply a method of processing events through personification. After resting in this way, you gain the same benefit that a human does from 8 hours of sleep.
Psychic Resistance: You are resistant to psychic damage due to your psionic nature.
Shard Maelstrom: As a bonus action at the start of your turn, you may dissipate your humanoid shape and become a swarm of jagged, flying crystals. You use the Dodge action, and your walking speed becomes a flying speed. Then, you must take your move for the turn; the Dodge and flying speed effects end once you've completed it. You provoke attacks of opportunity as normal. Additionally, you have advantage to attack rolls against creatures whose threatening reach you enter until the end of your next turn. You cannot use this ability again until you have taken a long rest.
Thoughtspeech: You can communicate telepathically with any creature within 30 feet, just as if speaking to him or her. You can only speak and listen to one person at a time, and both you and the receiver must understand and speak a language, otherwise the telepathic link fails.
Languages: You speak Common and Deep Speech.

Ninja_Prawn
2016-01-04, 07:00 AM
The balance looks OK, though I think Shard Maelstrom needs clarifying. When you say "pass by", do you mean that you need to enter and leave the threatened area in the same turn, i.e. provoke an opportunity attack? Is there any limit on where or how often this ability can be used?

PoeticDwarf
2016-01-04, 08:18 AM
How long maelstorm lasts? What is passing by?

Also, the balance looks OK, but telpathy is fairly strong, maybe make it the same as the ghostwise halfling.

Ninja_Prawn
2016-01-04, 08:22 AM
Oh I didn't see the telepathy before. Yeah, that's too much. I'd advise either cutting it, or cutting something else.

M Placeholder
2016-01-04, 11:36 AM
The telepathy is twice the range of the Missive Talent (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qrVZ0JZt6XVV-NHRNgk7HRyHNBs_C0EHIr0X-J1JSbg/edit?pli=1), and four times that of the Ghostwise Halflings, and there is no word limit. I would cut it in half and have a word limit.

JBPuffin
2016-01-04, 04:12 PM
The telepathy is twice the range of the Missive Talent (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qrVZ0JZt6XVV-NHRNgk7HRyHNBs_C0EHIr0X-J1JSbg/edit?pli=1), and four times that of the Ghostwise Halflings, and there is no word limit. I would cut it in half and have a word limit.

I'm curious, why does it need a word limit? Also, where are Ghostwise Halflings from? And Missive Talent is from a class that already has issues, so...yeah, I don't buy it.

To be fair, most things with telepathy are high level monsters that speak Infernal or Deep Speech, rare languages in the first place. What if I cut Deep Speech from their list; is that enough? What makes telepathy potent anyway? It's only a broad, one-way language that requires you to initiate in most cases, it's not like you can use it while you sleep or something. Not nearly as good as what people Wizards might think it is.

@Shard Maelstrom, it has the restriction of rest-recharge and once between. I took the wording off Dragon Breath; do I need to make it more clear? As for pass-by, if you move through a square adjacent to the person, it triggers. I do need help wording that better, thank you Ninja_Prawn for picking up on that.

M Placeholder
2016-01-04, 05:21 PM
I'm curious, why does it need a word limit? Also, where are Ghostwise Halflings from? And Missive Talent is from a class that already has issues, so...yeah, I don't buy it.

To be fair, most things with telepathy are high level monsters that speak Infernal or Deep Speech, rare languages in the first place. What if I cut Deep Speech from their list; is that enough? What makes telepathy potent anyway? It's only a broad, one-way language that requires you to initiate in most cases, it's not like you can use it while you sleep or something. Not nearly as good as what people Wizards might think it is.

@Shard Maelstrom, it has the restriction of rest-recharge and once between. I took the wording off Dragon Breath; do I need to make it more clear? As for pass-by, if you move through a square adjacent to the person, it triggers. I do need help wording that better, thank you Ninja_Prawn for picking up on that.

The Ghostwise Halflings (https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Ghostwise_Halfling_%285e_Subrace%29) are from the Sword Coast Adventurers Guide, and they have telepathy out to 20 feet.

For the telepathy as its written, you could telepathically dump the entire contents of Volo's guide to Waterdeep into someones mind in one round (6 seconds), and as written, you can also put images as well as words, and as written, its not stated what you can actually put in someones mind. You could drive a creature to madness. If you state that you have a photographic memory or the target has, that is potentially pretty powerful. As well as that, you can figure out battle plans and escape plans if you are captured, and if you are captured, then you have an ace in the hole as far as communication goes. They might not think to put you in a cell lined with lead....

For Missive, the manifestation of the talent is 1 round and its an action. Its not nearly as strong as the telepathy you have for the shardmind.

Having it under a section different from languages and stating what you can send (short messages, words, phrases), and who can understand you would be a real plus.

Also, if its a psychic power and shardminds are naturally psionic, why is it affected by dead magic zones?

The class I linked to is a homebrew by Wartex1 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?398291-%28PEACH%29-5E-Psion-with-Complete-Power-List), by the way.

JBPuffin
2016-01-04, 11:50 PM
The Ghostwise Halflings (https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Ghostwise_Halfling_%285e_Subrace%29) are from the Sword Coast Adventurers Guide, and they have telepathy out to 20 feet.

For the telepathy as its written, you could telepathically dump the entire contents of Volo's guide to Waterdeep into someones mind in one round (6 seconds), and as written, you can also put images as well as words, and as written, its not stated what you can actually put in someones mind. You could drive a creature to madness. If you state that you have a photographic memory or the target has, that is potentially pretty powerful. As well as that, you can figure out battle plans and escape plans if you are captured, and if you are captured, then you have an ace in the hole as far as communication goes. They might not think to put you in a cell lined with lead....

For Missive, the manifestation of the talent is 1 round and its an action. Its not nearly as strong as the telepathy you have for the shardmind.

Having it under a section different from languages and stating what you can send (short messages, words, phrases), and who can understand you would be a real plus.

Also, if its a psychic power and shardminds are naturally psionic, why is it affected by dead magic zones?

The class I linked to is a homebrew by Wartex1 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?398291-%28PEACH%29-5E-Psion-with-Complete-Power-List), by the way.

I grabbed telepathy straight from the Monster Manual; as mentioned, it's granted largely to devils and psionic monsters like aboleths. Dead magic zone is from there *shrug*. I do see your point...I'll cut the range. 20 feet isn't unreasonable, after all.

PoeticDwarf
2016-01-05, 10:38 AM
The Ghostwise Halflings (https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Ghostwise_Halfling_%285e_Subrace%29) are from the Sword Coast Adventurers Guide, and they have telepathy out to 20 feet.

For the telepathy as its written, you could telepathically dump the entire contents of Volo's guide to Waterdeep into someones mind in one round (6 seconds), and as written, you can also put images as well as words, and as written, its not stated what you can actually put in someones mind. You could drive a creature to madness. If you state that you have a photographic memory or the target has, that is potentially pretty powerful. As well as that, you can figure out battle plans and escape plans if you are captured, and if you are captured, then you have an ace in the hole as far as communication goes. They might not think to put you in a cell lined with lead....

For Missive, the manifestation of the talent is 1 round and its an action. Its not nearly as strong as the telepathy you have for the shardmind.

Having it under a section different from languages and stating what you can send (short messages, words, phrases), and who can understand you would be a real plus.

Also, if its a psychic power and shardminds are naturally psionic, why is it affected by dead magic zones?

The class I linked to is a homebrew by Wartex1 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?398291-%28PEACH%29-5E-Psion-with-Complete-Power-List), by the way.
They have 30ft telepathy right, I think so but I dont have the SCAG next to me now.

JBPuffin
2016-01-05, 07:16 PM
They have 30ft telepathy right, I think so but I dont have the SCAG next to me now.

DSG linked to the current "SRD" which had a Ghostwise Halfling, although it seems a bit dubious due to what else is on that page. It said 20 feet there.

M Placeholder
2016-01-06, 04:54 AM
Yeah, that was a homebrew I linked to.

I would make the telepathy 30 feet.

JBPuffin
2016-02-07, 08:32 AM
Coming back to this new fresher eyes, I'm curious about something - if I'm right, this race is a 6.5 on the Musicus Scale (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ViqLSEN67mmd2Lo_OJ-H5YX0fccsfI97kFaqx7V1Dmw/pub). Does that seem right?

Breakdown from My Perspective:

Ability Scores: Total of +3(1 in 3 places)
Crystalline Memories: .5(As Skill Proficiency)
Gemstone Contructs: .5(As living Construct, but the Trance half is another feature)
Mental Realignment: .5(Trance)
Psychic Resistance: .5(Damage Resistance)
Shard Maelstrom: 1(Equatable to Dragon Breath in my mind)
Thoughtspeech: .5(Equatable to a language in my mind)


Also, gonna fluff this thing out soon (probably today). Stay tuned.

Ninja_Prawn
2016-02-07, 01:20 PM
Coming back to this new fresher eyes, I'm curious about something - if I'm right, this race is a 6.5 on the Musicus Scale (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ViqLSEN67mmd2Lo_OJ-H5YX0fccsfI97kFaqx7V1Dmw/pub). Does that seem right?

Variant human and half-elf are 6.5. I'd say it's the upper limit of 'balanced' - any higher and alarm bells start to ring.

JNAProductions
2016-02-09, 01:59 PM
How long does Maelstrom last? And I'd make it per long rest-it's a lot better than the Dragonborn's breath attack.

JBPuffin
2016-02-11, 09:35 PM
How long does Maelstrom last? And I'd make it per long rest-it's a lot better than the Dragonborn's breath attack.

It lasts only for the move action - as in, you activate it, become the shard storm, then move.

I'm...on the fence. Dragon Breath doesn't come with the risk of getting your face hammered in by the guys you target. I'd be willing to make the AC boost +1 to make that side of it more obvious.

JNAProductions
2016-02-11, 11:35 PM
Move actions don't exist anymore. It needs clarification.

JBPuffin
2016-02-12, 07:01 PM
Move actions don't exist anymore. It needs clarification.
Right, moving is just a thing that happens - much like FFTA, I might add, and a nice change. So, "as part of your movement?" The idea being you activate it when you want to start moving, and then it ends when you stop moving. I was going to put, "The next time you move during your turn...", but that adds other complications I'd rather avoid.

weaseldust
2016-02-12, 07:41 PM
Right, moving is just a thing that happens - much like FFTA, I might add, and a nice change. So, "as part of your movement?" The idea being you activate it when you want to start moving, and then it ends when you stop moving. I was going to put, "The next time you move during your turn...", but that adds other complications I'd rather avoid.

How about the following?

Shard Maelstrom: At the start of your turn, you can choose to dissipate your humanoid shape and become a swarm of jagged, flying crystals. You gain a fly speed equal to your base walking speed, etc., etc.

That's if you don't want it to use any kind of action. I think it would be appropriate for it to require a bonus action, though.

I'm also not really keen on +1 AC - it's just not very interesting. What if you just made it the ability to Dodge as a bonus action and simultaneously gain a fly speed for that turn?

A question: do you want the shardmind to be able to cast spells while it is in maelstrom form? To wield weapons, grapple, and interact with objects normally? Given the current wording, it can do all of those, but that's hard to reconcile with being a swarm of crystals.

JBPuffin
2016-02-12, 09:12 PM
How about the following?

Shard Maelstrom: At the start of your turn, you can choose to dissipate your humanoid shape and become a swarm of jagged, flying crystals. You gain a fly speed equal to your base walking speed, etc., etc.

That's if you don't want it to use any kind of action. I think it would be appropriate for it to require a bonus action, though.

I'm also not really keen on +1 AC - it's just not very interesting. What if you just made it the ability to Dodge as a bonus action and simultaneously gain a fly speed for that turn?

A question: do you want the shardmind to be able to cast spells while it is in maelstrom form? To wield weapons, grapple, and interact with objects normally? Given the current wording, it can do all of those, but that's hard to reconcile with being a swarm of crystals.

I'd like for the player to have an option as to when in their turn they activate the ability, although it does make it more obvious what the effect should be. Dodge...I like it, but at the same time I feel like it may be too much protection - if I do that, it'll NEED to be a long rest ability, which is increasingly seeming to be the ideal solution. As for grapple and things, the point is that it literally lasts for the duration of your movement and that's it. It's like how the eladrin have a special move action - which ties back to choosing when in turn it's used - except more vulnerable and offensive in return. I'll muse on this for a while longer - you guys are really making me think :smallbiggrin:.

Wait a minute - Dragon Breath requires a bonus action! Gah, why didn't I think of that? Alrighty, so it'll be a bonus action, when you move this turn...and we'll do the Dodge thing. Okay, that ties it together more nicely.

It's done - more restrictive, certainly, but it does provide a full two actions of advantage to a character that can easily be optimized for such a situation as it is their racial ability...