View Full Version : LoopyZebra Comics

2006-10-11, 10:06 PM

With two comics, and an unoriginal title, I now feel secure enough to post this here. It's not fantasy-themed, mind you, but I think it's funny. If it gets even half of Half-Wit's (Quarter-Wit?) popularity, I'll be happy.

So, please PEACH away.

2006-10-16, 09:24 AM
No comments here? Not even to say it sucks? :-/

C'mon people. I can take (and would like) some criticism.

((Daedrous left a set of comments on the comic, but I'd like more than one set of commentary if possible. Please?))

2006-10-16, 11:09 PM
Funny, but the art needs a bit of work. In the first comic, the mouths are open and in the same position in all panels and The expressions are mostly the same from panel to panel. Never forget that an already funny comic can greatly benefit from changing visuals. For example, in the first comic, we could have seen Stanford's eyes in a "dramatic close up with a tense expression showing that he means business before zooming out to see that he's in some sort of gymnasium or classroom.

Second comic, people's eyes are rarely open during a sneeze. It's a small thing, but a closed-eyes grimace in the second panel offers a more unique visual and fits more with the "Achoo!" than the puppy-dog eyes he has. And third panel, the eyebrows could be thicker, and if you tilted the head back, it would make him look angrier.

It seems like I'm ripping into the art, but that's because the jokes are already very funny. And the art isn't bad, it's just too repetitive. Strive for variety. Go the extra mile to make the expressions more expressive.

And it's a bit late, but I learned the hard way that plugging a comic early is bad news. You don't give the readers enough time to see whether something is funny or whether its something they like, and often they won't be impressed by what they see and won't come back later. It's a good comic you have, but there's barely any of it.

2006-10-18, 12:02 AM
Thank you for the input. I agree; I'll spend more time with the facial expressions.

2006-10-18, 10:12 PM
Update. Like I said there, the text is a bit hard to read, but I probably won't have time to fix it until later this week. Got that whole "scholarship and college" thing to apply for.

Captain van der Decken
2006-10-19, 01:41 AM
Its funny, very nice.