Anyone with crazy stories from dnd?

[VilimirDrahkme]

I'll go first. So our party comprises of all level 8's, started from 1, not a single death... yet:
a ranger, whose fond of *cough* collecting *cough* the party's magic artifacts.
a barbarian who rages at the sight of his friends being injured and basically hulk smashes everything (smashed a chest once containing the only instructions on getting out of a poison filled room- we all survived with like 1-7 hp each)
a paladin whose truthtelling almost always gets the party in some sort of trouble by telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth. also frequently uses his shiny sword (lol) instead of a torch. this is me.
a dwarf fighter whose the designated smith at home base (lair of a white dragon we 'tamed' read: beat into submission and we now use its hoard to fund ourselves)
and our halfling rogue who runs around cankle shanking; when he's not hiding behind the barbarian or ranger and throwing lightning daggers at everthing...

So our story is our DM's take on taking down Tiamat. we've killed the leader of the red dragon clan, the blue dragon clan, convinced the white dragon clan to work with us and have only the green dragon clan and the black dragon clan left... this picks up at the entrance to the lead black dragon's lair.
So we enter the cave, see piles of bones laying around. a few corpses. the barbarian - does this often - goes and starts raging on the nearest pile of bones, which ends up reanimating the rest of the skelley's and zombies around. first encounter since the marsh. goes swimmingly. we go forward, find a round platform with 4 levers and 8 holes in the wall above us with chains holding the platform. all of us agree to pull the levers in one round, simultaneously... DM "roll initiave" small little buggies start coming out of the holes while the platform descends. we start attacking them... rust monsters. they destroy all of our backup weapons, which we switched to to keep our primaries safe. meanwhile there are a few at the top still chewing on chains. our ranger is rolling horribly to hit them and we end up losing a chain. whole platform tilts and becomes rough terrain for us... our ranger takes out two of the bugs at the top chewing on one chain... next we lose another chain. meanwhile through all this we're losing all kinds ac and weapons are looking pretty shoddy. by the time we hit the bottom there's only one chain holding us afloat. and the monsters all return from whence they came. more skeletons laying around. a few giant skeletons. again smashy from the barbarian. I light up my primary sword, an electrum shortsword crafted from a giant spiders fang, permanently has poison on the blade, and use my purple worm tower shield to erect a modicum of cover for our ranger while he returns fire to the ranger skeletons. our barbarian is raging and demolishing the giant skeletons one bone at a time. we make it through this. about 3/4 life left on everyone. theres lots of deep puddles around the cavern we see, and at the back emerges the black dragon lord. this is where things go awry:
barbarian still raging goes and starts pummeling its face before it can fully emerge. gets grappled and thrown by dragon - directly into a deeper puddle. the catch? the black dragon knew we were coming and coated its fangs and claws in paralytic poison. barbarian sinks, metagame we know he's poisoned and has to save that before he can emerge.
dwarf fighter goes up and starts whaling on the dragons leg, wounds it slightly, creating an opening for the ranger to use some of his magic artifacts. same thing. begins to sink in the puddle the dragon's in.
halfling takes cover behind paladin and throws a couple daggers.
paladin begins trying to negotiate with the dragon before being slashed at and the dragon removes his purple worm scale tower shield... paladin then ceases negotiations and attacks with his electrum poison shortsword. slides off dragon's hide...
ranger pulls out a greatsword of storms and plunges it into the ground. basically shooting lightning from the sword at the dragon every time its the ranger's turn.
barbarian fails poison save, fails attempt to hold breath, then fails death saving throw #1
fighter fails poison save, fails attempt to hold breath, fails death saving throw #1
halfling runs behind a stalactite. it grapples him. all the stalactites come to life now attempting to grapple the three remaining party members.
ranger shoots an arrow ... rolls a one... arrow hits dragon bounces off hits wall, bounces, hits greatsword of storms. it explodes dealing severe damage to our ranger.
paladin sensing something is wrong with the folks in the water maneuvers behind dragon while it moves forward towards ranger. attempts to reel in fighter with polearm. rolls a 2. accidentally jabs fighter with polearm dealing damage.
barbarian fails poison save. still paralyzed. fails death save throw #2
fighter fails poison save. still paralyzed. fails death save throw #2
halfling kills one stalactite. ranger from prone rolls acrobatics to fire an arrow while backflipping up to his feet. 1. arrow hits ceiling and causes a minor cave in...on top of ranger. ranger hits 0 life exactly...
paladin this time manages to bring in fighter from water.
barbarian... fails poison save, still paralyzed. rolls critical failure(1) on death save. dead...
fighter rolls poison...Succeeds! no need to roll death save as not drowning now.
halfling gets grappled by dragon fails save. gets swallowed and rolls to hold his lightning daggers. fails.
now there's only the fighter the halfling and the paladin.
teh fighter resumes attacking the dragon and scores a crit on its tail, severing part of it.
halfling rolls to draw new daggers within the dragon's stomach. succeeds. rolls to attack dragon. fails critically, stabs self in leg, paralyzed one round due to lightning.(he's got like 30 lightning daggers :P)
paladin kills a stalactite that has moved near him.
dragon stops attacking and regurgitates halfling... directly onto a stalactite. DM "roll athletics to dodge the point coming at you"
critical fail. halfling with like 12 life left gets impaled and dies. from like a 2d12 damage because its a monster that impaled him and attacked him simultaneously or something like that.
fighter sees his buddy get killed. attacks dragons thigh, critically severs leg from body.
paladin smites dragon critical. dragon falls finally.
ultimately the first deaths in our campaign were due to players getting REALLY bad rolls and drowning and getting eaten... in the moment it was much more dramatic than I tell it. but. *shrug* barbarian was furious because he died. not ceremoniously like a barbarian... but in a glorified puddle. to drowning.

[eastmabl]

I much prefer the crazy stories with paragraphs. The adventurers that start and end in a wall of text don't much do it for me.

[SharkForce]

I much prefer the crazy stories with paragraphs. The adventurers that start and end in a wall of text don't much do it for me.

the short version is that his DM seems to like critical failures to do completely absurd things, requires tests for all kinds of silly things, and doesn't seem to think that applying contact poison on your teeth is likely to cause problems. also, his party rolled badly.

[supergoji18]

First game of Out of the Abyss, my Warlock was sent to work breaking rocks. I wanted to see if I could hit the rocks in such a way that it would create some dagger-like fragments that I could conceal for later use as a weapon. DM had me roll to see if I could do it.

Natural 20.

I didn't get a dagger. Instead, I swing my pickaxe, missing wildly. The pickaxe bounced off of the side of the wall, hit the ceiling, and caused a minor cave in. The resulting chaos ended with 2 Quaggoth guards squished under the rubble, myself 30 small diamonds richer, and no one knowing that I had anything to do with what had just happened. We were escorted back to our cell for the night, and I silently made a prayer to RNGesus for the blessing he had bestowed upon me that day.

[SilverStud]

So I was running the Phandelver adventure for a group of new players. They had a wood elf hick ranger(which is ridiculous enough), and this guy was super inventive.

Those of you who have DM'd or played through Phandelver know that in Thundertree there is a young green dragon and a potion of flying. They're new players, and were waaaaaaay afraid of this little guy. Except for the ranger. After they scout the dragon's tower lair, and realize that there is a hole in the roof, and get the dragon's sleeping pattern down, the ranger enacts his plan without discussing with the others. In the middle of the night, when the party is asleep and just before the dragon goes hunting, the ranger drinks the potion of flying.

From here on out, the ranger gets the most insane string of 19's and 20's I've ever seen rolled.

So he prepares by fashioning a harness from rope and massively strengthening the spring in his bear trap. He then harnessed himself to the bear trap and sets it, holding it by the center bar, teeth facing away from himself. Then he flies high above the tower and then dive bombs the dragon. His natural 20 for that allows him to get to the dragon's back before it can react and trigger the bear trap to clamp onto the dragon's spine-frill-thing.

The dragon flies into the air, creating the Sword Coast's first ever flying dragon rodeo. The short story from here is that the thing flies hundreds of feet high, while the ranger is frantically shredding the beast's right wing at the base. After a few 19's and crits, he cuts a ligament and the wing flops, useless. The dragon falls, of course, and the ranger should be doomed with it, tied to its back as he is. Nope. He cuts the rope and flies away, potion still active. 20d6 falling damage finishes the dragon off and wakes up the party and all the ash zombies. But hey, he solo'd a dragon!!

[EvilAnagram]

We were chasing an Animate hand through a system of tunnels in order to retrieve the ring it's wearing. The hand leapt into a latrine pit. The entire party, save for me, leapt in. Eight zombies rose from the vile muck, surrounding the party.

Panicked at the appearance of zombies, the Eldritch Knight casts Burning Hands, which the DM ruled ignited the methane in the pit and dealt the BH damage to everyone inside. The zombies all died instantly, as was the hand. The party, save for myself, wasn't looking too hot.

The enemy guard who watched the entire event unfold was quite confused.

Thankfully, he was easily bested when I cast sleep on him. What followed was quite possibly the friendliest D&D interrogation in which I have ever participated.

[supergoji18]

The party, save for myself, wasn't looking too hot.

I see what you did there :smallwink:

[EvilAnagram]

I see what you did there :smallwink:

I probably should have said, "they were a hot mess."

[Misterwhisper]

A few interesting things that have happened over the years.

1. 4 times while playing 1 campaign in 3.5 edition my character was killed by having an enemy fall on me when we killed it.

2. I have to preface this by saying that I, without a doubt, have the worst luck of rolling of anyone ever.
We played a pathfinder game, from level 1 to level 16, it took well over a year. I played a Warrior of the Holy Light Paladin, with a longsword and shield.
Due to a blind luck treasure drop, by level 4 I had a keen longsword.
Never once in the entire campaign did I ever critically hit anything... ever.

3. We just finished a very long campaign for 5th edition.
The entire party was so convinced that I was a NG bard to the point that the GM was confused when i did not take one of the Instruments of the Bard.
I was actually a LE rogue swashbuckler who happened to be trained in using a flute who owned a Ring of Mind Shielding, that worshiped The King in Yellow.
I was the only non-magic user in a family of warlocks who made a deal with the Yellow King, so my job was to be the "problem solver"

4. This one was as GM.
One of my players who was lawful evil, level 12 fighter and was determined that he was going to kill something, so he intentionally started a fight with some commoner in a bar.
When they chose to take the fight outside to the streets to make it an official fight the commoner brought up the fact that it was not fair because he had a simple dagger and the fighter had a magic great sword (+2 keen great sword). To that the player evened the fight a little and played to the crowd and threw his sword to the commoner and said he would beat him with his bare hands. With that the commoner looked at the situation... and bolted through the crowd with his fancy magic sword in tow. The fighter never found him and lost his best item.

5. Throughout the whole campaign we had been dealing with a rival party of NPC's who seemed to have always been one step ahead of us. We were level 13, there were 5 of them all level 15. It took forever but we finally got the drop on them. I was playing a Diviner Wizard. I told the party to let me see what I could do so i sneak up and case Wall of Force... 100 feet in the air above the enemy group waiting for us outside a temple. Because the wall is invisible and 100 feet away nobody noticed it. The DM looks at me funny and wonders what the crap I was doing. The next round I cast Reverse Gravity and did not bother concentrating on it. 100 ft falling damage up into the wall of force followed immediately by 100 ft falling damage back to the ground. They never got back up.

[Randomthom]

Slight twist on this, playing Star Wars D20 system.

Quick rule info: In Star Wars D20 you had Vitality Points and Wound Points. Wound points were equal to your constitution score so 13 con, 13 WP. Critical hits did not do x2 damage or similar like in D&D but simply bypassed VP and went straight to WP.

So, our characters (lvl 2 ex stormtroopers who have been caught in the act of sabotaging some of the Empire's highest profile facilities on Coruscant and have (through some very impressive rolls) resisted extensive torture) are brought before The Emperor prior to us being tortured and what followed was the craziest sequence of dice rolls I think I've ever encountered.
Earlier that day: Sleight of hand to pickpocket then conceal a small blaster pistol. Rolled high (can't remember number) then 20.
Before the emperor: Quick-draw & rolled initiative (20)
Attack: 20 & 19 to confirm
Damage 3D6+1 (18)
Palpatine's con score: 12

So, not dead-dead due to bleed-out rules etc. but not bad for a lvl 2 character!

Needless to say they were all executed. TPK but good way to go! I allowed the concealed pistol etc. because the roll was a 20 and because I knew the series of dice rolls required to actually make good use of it were so far outside the realms of probability as to be insignificant... more fool me!

[Douche]

We invaded the evil thieves guild HQ, with only 3 of our normal party (the other 3 were out that night). We lost. Instead of killing us, they cursed us with some kind of brand, then told us to go kill one of this cities nobles (who we knew and sort of trusted us).

Not even questioning it, we instantly changes sides and went to go assassinate the noble. She caught on pretty quickly and fled. Only one of us went to chase her. I opted to instead burn the house down (my character is an idiot who can't really think independently).

Noble escapes. We flee the city cuz we're going to get executed without a trial for attacking a noble. Turns out the DM didn't actually expect us to try to kill her. Totally derailed the campaign (it's actually a published adventure, ported from some old D&D magazine). DM had to pull plot hooks out of his you-know-what after that. It's been 3 sessions since then, still not sure if we're back on track.

[RakiReborn]

My character in a homebrew campain with some friends seems to be quite unlucky. Some of the things that happened to him was getting an egg thrown in his face about 10min into the first session, getting KO from drinking behind the bar and having an ally puke all over him - TWICE (random rolls for both parts, twice the same results), and the following, which deserves its own story:

Halax is a CN sorclock (3/3 at the time) and his life motto is that everything he does should be fun. After recieving an important quest item, he keeps it in his stuff. After a while the DM makes some rolls behind his screen and lets me make a perception check. Halax suddenly notices that the quest item is gone, and sees a drow disappearing in the shadows of the woods. We couldnt find him anymore, so we went to the elven sociëty close by. There we tell the story, and we are pointed to the drow village nearby, where it is probably taken to. Halax being the only one with the invisibility spell, and thinking that it was dishonorable (he cares that he is perceived as strong), decided he should be the one sneaking into the village to steal back the item. Note - he isnt proficient in stealth, but had a fine dexmod of +3.

So, Invisibility is on, and Halax goes into the drow village. Quickly found the house where the item was taken to, but it was guarded well. Looking around the building to find another entrance, the fluctuating rolls start. I did not see any of the windows, and no other entrances too becauso of a bad roll. Darn. New tactic. I throw a stone, distracting the guards at the entrance, and as one goes to see what the noice was, i sneak in with a great roll. Great! I'm in! I grab the item when the drows inside arent looking, and turn around to the entrance - the guard is back. Hmmm... I look around for an exit, and have a horrible roll again. The only thing way out apart from the entrance that i can see is..... the toilet-hole..... I climb in, and fall down (bad roll), making a noice and warning the drow. I run outside, smelling like ****, and am noticed by the drow that stole the item in the first place. He goes after me with some other drow, and i run towards the outside villagewall, jumping towards it, and roll extremely high to jump over it, and get away. Back in the elven sociëty, still invisible, i walk into the room where my party was. They smell me before they see mee and wonder what the horrible, horrible smell is. I turn off the invivibility, drop the item and walk away, scarred for life by what just happened.

Hope you like it, sorry for the changing between saying I and Halax/he.

[Skylivedk]

My entire last campaign in Pathfinder was one crazy scheme after the other. The paragraphs in italic tell the story behind this daring escape attempt. Skip to the normal text for the main story.


Our party had ventured forth with an expedition of dwarves to invest whether the troubling news of a colony of Tyranid-look-a-likes approaching the Dwarven city of Silverstone were true. The rumours were true. The monsters were approaching, melting their way through the mountain side, consuming anything living in their path. The expedition was a catastrophe, and almost everybody, including our Barbarian got slaughtered by the giant insects. Our greedy Saurian (lizardman) ninja/sorcerer, Draxtur, decided to unalive the duke leading the expedition in the ensuing chaos, but wasn't as stealthy as he thought he was.

As the party came back to the city, they were met with screaming accusations of murder. The entire party was chased through tunnels running beneath the city. Dwarven elite soldiers and the King were chasing them in a merry go around, Looney Toons-style. Most of the dwarves got caught in a web as they poured down a spiral staircase and burned alive as Emaerteni'en flung fireballs from his stolen wand.

Draxtur, for some reason, decided to split and try to get out of the city on his own. He got caught and was to be tried for treason and murder. The death sentence was as sure as dawn. [I remember the DM saying that Draxtur would be pushing daisies unless we pulled a rabbit out the hat].

Emaerteni'en was an Elven rogue/wizard with a vengeance complex that'd have both the Count of Monte Cristo and Sasuke asking him to chill the f* out. The other surviving character was a Doppleganger monk.

Emaerteni'en, the King Slayer, knew the dwarven city well. He had spent his last invisibility spell spying on the forces of justice. The execution would take place in the middle of the central plaza. Next to the executioner's stand was the Pit of the Wicked: a fall so deep it'd take minutes to hear the condemned fall to their deaths.

Being rather useless in combat, the arcane dabbling rogue was decked out in utility items: scrolls, a stolen wand of fireball, potions, tangle foot flasks, smoke bombs, thunder twigs, ropes, etc.

As dawn rose over the city, the dwarves woke with a lust for justice. One of them never woke. In his place a Doppleganger went to work, carrying grain to the granary. Emaerteni'en had approached the city early. With invisibility and spider climb, he'd no problems infiltrating the city. The noise and commotion from all the dwarven villagers, eager for blood, made it possible for Emaerteni'en to rig the surrounding roof-tops with thunder twigs, long fuses and a single smoke bomb without getting noticed. He then jumped and attached himself to the wall of the Pit of the Wicked and spider-climbed the inside of the pit to be directly beneath Draxtur. Carefully and still invisible, he climbed up the scaffold, until he was on his belly within touching distance of Draxtur. He had little time left; the fuse would soon go off.

Draxtur was in manacles, his crimes being read aloud. He smiled, convinced he was truly a dragon. He would regenerate from the beheading, sprout wings once pushed to fall to his death and arise in a sea of fire(not the brightest bulb, this one). As the judgement was read aloud "To be beheaded and thrown in the Pit of the Wicked", Draxtur disappeared. Ear-shattering explosions drowned out the mumblings of an invisible elf. A huge puff of smoke appeared on the closest rooftop nearby. 50 crossbow bolts flew through the air - half of them aimed at where Draxtur's chest used to be, the other half shooting anything that might be inside the puff of smoke.

Draxtur had followed the coarse voice certain that it was the voice of the Dragon God about to uplift him to divinity. Hence, he had ducked just as he turned invisible. He was suddenly way too small for his manacles.. and also on his belly. If this was the path to divinity, he was confused.

In the background, smoke started to rise from the granary. The dwarves rushed from the central plaza to the granary, certain to catch the dragon-looking criminal in the middle of yet another hideous crime. When the majority of the dwarves had gone, an invisible elf and a, equally invisible, but way more delusional, Saurian climbed out the Pit of the Wicked, with more wicked intentions than ever. They rushed to the Dwarven treasury, murdering the few remaining guards inside and plundered it with their bag of holding. Their companion had been using the finest dwarven spirits to set houses aflame left and right.

Before the two friends left the treasury, they lit it on fire for good measure.

All three companions convened at the edge of the mountain cliff known as the Sky Wall. An entire Dwarven city, engulfed by flames and grief, was on their tales. They turned to face them, and just as the first crossbows were ready to let loose and bestow upon them a most deserved death, they jumped. They didn't fall to their deaths. A wand of Feather Falling, conjured from a sleeve, ensured they landed smiling, bodies full of adrenalin and bags full of gold.

The Dwarven City stood on top of the mountain, looking like the flaming head of a torch.

The city almost burned to the ground. As the dwarves started rebuilding all they had lost, the giant insects attacked. A week later, all that remained of the once proud city of Silverstone was ashes. Not that far away, 4 friends arrived in an Elven city by the river. They were obviously adventurers, and the gifts they carried from the Dwarven Prince of Silverstone marked them as heroes.

[DragonBaneDM]

I crashed my airship into the tarrasque. It went to sleep, I'm still breathing. Airship honestly was the only loser there. RIP Wayfinder.

[JackPhoenix]

I crashed my airship into the tarrasque. It went to sleep, I'm still breathing. Airship honestly was the only loser there. RIP Wayfinder.

Reminds me both of Call of Cthulhu (The Lovecraft's story) and something from my old Eberron game.

The characters fought some trolls in a jugle clearing, but despite being adventurers, they lacked means of setting their foes on fire to prevent them from regenerating. The Fireball-throwing sorcerer was yet to join the party, and the heroes found themselves slowly being overtaken by a relentless wave of undying trolls. It looked almost hopeless, the roguish half-elf even ran away from his doomed companion and climbed aboard the airship that got the characters there. The characters left on the ground despaired when they saw they ride flying away. This was to be their last stand.

For those who don't know it, Airships in Eberron aren't just any blimps...they are made from magical, super-light wood and powered by an elemental bound into the ring around the ship. The elementals used are usualy of the air or fire variant. This airship featured the latter.
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c9/a5/11/c9a5118c5781333d2eae00432f309380.jpg

The trolls focused their fury on the adventurers, not noticing that behind their backs, the airship turned back towards the battle and started descending. Only when the shadow fell upon them and all the surviving adventurers all dropped prone they may have realised that something is going on. But they propably didn't got enough time for that, because a moment later, the trolls were all rammed by the elemental ring of the airship swooping at full speed only few feet above the ground.

None of them survived.

[Thrasher92]

So, we were playing a 5e campaign a few months after the DMG came out. Our party was between 8-10. I was a wizard and I can't remember what the other guys were playing.

Our DM allowed us to pick any magic item of rare or lower out of the DMG. We knew we were going to have a sea-going campaign. My friend chose a flying carpet, I chose an endless water decanter.

It ended up that anytime our party came across a ship that wanted to attack us, we would get on the flying carpet, I would use my decanter and a cantrip to freeze the water into cannonball size, and were would fly over and literally "carpet bomb" the enemy ship.

Needless to say the first session we wrecked the DM's plans as the encounter took 5-10 minutes real time and was laughably easy. Although, if I remember correctly he ended up taking away our carpet.

[RickAllison]

Goblins vs. kobolds:
Our party was stuck fighting a losing battle against a division of kobolds that had taken archer positions throughout this deserted settlement, so we planned to figure out how to take them out. We settled on making Molotovs and other explosives with the supplies in the bar, then firebombing the entire town to the ground. So many dead kobolds and so much wonderful fire.
Later, we ascended a mountain to finish them off in their fortress. The rest of party went to fight their way through the main entrance, but my PC decided to skin a kobold and impersonate him to get him, which worked out surprisingly well. When the party entered the other side of the room, my rogue was right next to the chieftain and had an easy kill... And rolled a natural 1. My character didn't succeed on a single attack for the entire one-shot, but he made for some entertaining circumstances.

[Ralanr]

Unexpected Proposals

In the final battle of a year long campaign, my group and I (five in total) were fighting three CR12 archemages, one of which was a "psion" that caused my group trouble throughout our time in hell (well...pseudo hell. Apparently the realm was a reflection of all other realms). Anyway, while the rest of the party was focusing on the other two, our bard focused on fighting the Psion.

Now our bard is the kind of player who likes to make plans on top of plans. This was the worst situation for him because he was thrown into a situation where he had nothing prepared beyond his limited combat spells. So instead, he flirted. He flirted with the woman who is not only responsible for killing most of our allies, but also has mind broken a few close NPC's (like my barbarian's on again off again love interest who is also a member of the cult they are fighting).

So our DM has her role against a charm and states that if she rolls a nat 1 then the Psion falls in love with the Bard. Low and Behold, she rolls a natural one.

"I didn't expect to end this with a wedding."

[Misterwhisper]

We were playing a 3.5 game, where they allowed Kingdoms of Kalamar, Scarred Lands, and normal 3.5 feats and spells, I was playing a fighter for the most part, however as with most things in 3.5, in our sessions at least, if you did not play a caster, you never mattered...
It got to the point that the GM stopped asking me what I was doing with my character, I gave up on ever being important to our plot or heaven forbid having a plot line of my own, until the last fight of the entire campaign.

We were facing off with the "Risen God", so I just walked out infront of the group and told them that I was getting tired of all their "damnable magics" to which the risen god laughed and did exactly what I figured the gm would do to the "pointless fighter of the group", he was going to use me as a climactic casualty for the others to look better.

The Risen God cast his big spell, an Irresistible Finger of Death spell.

To which, my mostly "fighter" who the GM, nor the magic heavy and arrogant group never even bothered to ask what classes I was taking used his Occult Slayer ability to reflect it back and oneshot the endgame villain.

To which I told the group they could keep all the loot and the credit but I was taking the castle and its surrounding territory and they were to get out.

[zylodrizzt]

Recent game. Scene. We needed to get an item that some earth elemental swallowed. As it turns out they were friendly. Knew some languages to which telepathy worked. So instead of what the dm expected to be a combat encounter we decided to extract the item from it's stomach. We sent arcane eyes familiars the familiar was digested. So I got the bright idea to use mage hand an allies arcane eye and some spider webbing from a spider I charmed to try and do the stick and gum trick but before I could the Halfling turned into a chipmunk went down it's gullet and tried in vain to retrieve any shiny he found lucked out and got the item we neeeded. First dnd exploratory extraction surgury performed on an elemental.

[StealthyRobot]

Haven't had campaigns run long enough for some good stories, but I still got a few.

My first time playing was 3.5e. I had made a paladin, and I think we had a fighter, druid, rouge, and I think a ranger. The campaign started with zero context and backstory, just some random guys happend to find themselves at the entrance to a cave in the woods. The cave had a door in it, and before anything the fighter kicks it open. We see a bunch of goblins inside, looking very startled and surprised. The fighter, of course, wastes the surprise round by asking what they're doing. They were quickly killed anyway.
Later on, same cave, we were almost done with an encounter. One single goblin left on the other side of the hallway we were all in, and it was my turn. The fighter and druid's badger were in the way, but I didn't want to waste my turn. I picked up the badger which started wriggling around. I failed a handle animal check and it bit me, but I threw it at the last goblin knocking it's head off where the badger then burrowed inside.

My next character was a tower shield and bastard sword fighter. The party was in an old mansion of some sort, clearing it out in order to claim the deed. We were fighting some sort of boss creature and on the turn before it died, petrified me. The party goes to the creepy alchemist we found in there and asks for a potion to help me. He says sure, but he'll need gold. They agree to bring him my characters gold once they revive me. He happily agreed. (Earlier I had tried to flip his desk and critically failed, getting a splinter instead.) They use the potion and explain the situation. I vehemently refuse. This was anticipated so the Bard charms me, and I happily give all of my gold to this old guy.
Later on, same mansion. We found the bedrooms, one of which has two guards outside of it. We tell them we are trying to find the missing lord of the mansion. They say he's inside, and an intimidation check gets them to let us see him as long as we "take care of him." We go in and see this old shriveled green dude in fancy clothes sprawled across the bed. He starts moaning and clawing towards us. The party is confused at how to take care of him and start asking the guards for medicine or something. I simply stab the thing in the head. The guards thank me and book it out of there.

[Ralanr]

We were playing a 3.5 game, where they allowed Kingdoms of Kalamar, Scarred Lands, and normal 3.5 feats and spells, I was playing a fighter for the most part, however as with most things in 3.5, in our sessions at least, if you did not play a caster, you never mattered...
It got to the point that the GM stopped asking me what I was doing with my character, I gave up on ever being important to our plot or heaven forbid having a plot line of my own, until the last fight of the entire campaign.

We were facing off with the "Risen God", so I just walked out infront of the group and told them that I was getting tired of all their "damnable magics" to which the risen god laughed and did exactly what I figured the gm would do to the "pointless fighter of the group", he was going to use me as a climactic casualty for the others to look better.

The Risen God cast his big spell, an Irritable Finger of Death spell.

To which, my mostly "fighter" who the GM, nor the magic heavy and arrogant group never even bothered to ask what classes I was taking used his Occult Slayer ability to reflect it back and oneshot the endgame villain.

To which I told the group they could keep all the loot and the credit but I was taking the castle and its surrounding territory and they were to get out.

Best. Burn. Ever.

[darkrose50]

I once gave out a potion that would confer one random expert class level to the drinker. We rolled randomly, and it came up seamen. No one wanted to drink the potion.

[ShikomeKidoMi]

Well, one time I was scouting ahead of the rest of the party (bad idea) by climbing up a wall (worse idea) and ran into a half-fiend minotaur. He hit me with a Smite Good charge attack and I lost so many hit points that I had to retreat. Trying to climb down the rope would just make me vulnerable to attacks from the flying monster.

So I jumped. This got me hit with an opportunity attack, which took me down to negative life. Did I mention the ground was fifty feet down? So I'm looking at possibly being instantly reduced to enough negative life to flat out die.

However, the party healer had already readied an action to hit me with a cure spell when I entered reach (at the time he thought I'd be climbing, I think forgetting how slow that is). He argued, successfully, that he deserved a chance to try to do so if I fell past him, since readied actions can interrupt other actions. This left him making a touch attack roll with a large penalty. Somehow he made it and slapped me with his healing hand as I plunged by him, restoring just enough hit points that I was merely rendered unconscious by the ground. Next round he healed me again and I was able to rejoin the fight.

[Addaran]

I once gave out a potion that would confer one random expert class level to the drinker. We rolled randomly, and it came up seamen. No one wanted to drink the potion.

I wonder why..... "who wants to drink my potion of seamen?" :smalleek:

[Skylivedk]

If you want to read about a motley crew of murder hobos, sociopaths and a bloodthirsty PTSD-suffering, demon possessed warrior, you are welcome to check out my story in progress.

I'm currently turning the campaign from this thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?481421-Feedback-to-Rebalancing-(Crafting-Races-Feats-TWF-Spells-etc-))into a story, which can be found here (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QV998_aQhAz-2UyJHIx35kwaHsaoIxl_6cHRWetIur8/edit?usp=sharing). Comments are welcome! So are setting feedback in the first thread.