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meioziz
2007-06-15, 12:55 PM
I was just on google, trying to look up ways to create intelligent undead, since I read 465. My search string was "D&D cleric create intelligent undead", and on the first page (!!), the second-to-last result's summary as displayed by google was:

Furthermore, he/she is 50% likely to rape unintelligent undead or seduce (to the point of begging) intelligent undead. The DM and players can see the ...

Uh... right. So I had to click the link: The AD&D Book of Sex (http://www.acc.umu.se/~stradh/dnd/mirror/Assorted/ADnD_netbook_of_sex.html)...

And so I searched for "undead", and there it is: Innecrophilia. Tsukiko anyone? Now please give me brain acid. Thanks.

Meioziz

Alysar
2007-06-15, 01:02 PM
Innecrophelia! That's the word i've been looking for to differentiate between the regular kind and what Tsukiko does.

Basalock
2007-06-15, 01:03 PM
Please die now, thanks

Ganurath
2007-06-15, 01:10 PM
Well, now I know the required spell to make the belt Roy used to duck the assassins back in the early 200s.

meioziz
2007-06-15, 01:26 PM
Ahem, not that I really wanted to read more of it, but my curiosity got the best of me. Some of the more notable spells I thought were:

Power Word, Castrate
Change Sexual Preference
Pillow Talk

... and my favorites,

Leomund's Tiny Brothel
Mordenkainen's Lubrication

...

I wonder why the great archmagi Leomund and Mordenkainen would be interested in researching these........ I guess even heroes have needs.

Alysar
2007-06-15, 01:41 PM
Power Word, Castrate


Well. My knees certainly just slammed together.

InfernusTribble
2007-06-15, 01:43 PM
I read twenty lines, then passed my san check and closed the link

TigerHunter
2007-06-15, 01:44 PM
I will NOT click that link. No, I will NOT.
Edit: Damnit. I clicked. Proceeding to securely delete cookies...

Ganurath
2007-06-15, 01:46 PM
I read twenty lines, then passed my san check and closed the linkI added it to my favorites section.

I need to update some of this for 3.5 so I can work it into the campaign I'm working on...

BobTheDog
2007-06-15, 02:09 PM
Know Sexual Preference is a must have for any seduction-based rogue/spy/infiltrator.

And Sterility isn't bad, either...

Gundato
2007-06-15, 02:32 PM
I added it to my favorites section.

I need to update some of this for 3.5 so I can work it into the campaign I'm working on...

Actually, someone already beat you to it. Look up the Book of Erotic Fantasy for a good laugh.

meioziz
2007-06-15, 02:35 PM
I added it to my favorites section.

I need to update some of this for 3.5 so I can work it into the campaign I'm working on...

If you're doing this, might I suggest you include an invention of mine, if for no reason other than to pull another archmage into this whole mess:

Bigby's Caressing Hand
Evocation [Force]
Level: Sor/Wiz 6
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: 10-ft. hand
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: Will
Spell Resistance: Yes

This spell functions like Bigby's Interposing Hand, except that instead of providing cover, it moves toward the opponent until it comes upon the opponent. The hand then caresses the opponent, causing erotic feelings in the opponent. The erotic feelings cause the opponent loses all DEX bonuses (to AC or any other checks involving DEX) and cannot make Reflex saving throws. The opponent also suffers a -4 on her attacks and can only perform either a standard action or a move action each round the hand caresses.

A caressing hand is 10 feet long and about that wide with its fingers outstretched. On the fingers are holes, nodules, and suction cups designed to cause pleasurable erotic feelings for all genders.

If the opponent is a caster, she needs to make a Concentration check (DC14) to cast any spell with a somatic component.

As a free action, the caster can direct the hand to insert an elongated nodule into the opponents mouth. This would require the opponent to also succeed a Concentration check (DC14) to cast any spell with a verbal component. However, this action allows the opponent to make new Will save to resist the hand's erotic feelings as described above.

Focus
A soft glove.


...

Ahem, on second thought, I must have rolled -10 below the SAN check when I read this page, to suffer the additional drawback of writing additional material for it.... :smallfrown:


EDIT: Oh, another note on this spell... originally, I was going to write one for Bigby's Clenched Orifice. But I couldn't stop laughing too hard to type... so this task will have to fall on one of you!

EDIT2: Looking at Bigby's own Wiki page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigby_(Greyhawk)), I realized some of these can be reinterpreted as erotic spells:

- Bigby's Construction Crew (some women's fantasy?)
- Bigby's Dextrous Digits
- Bigby's Feeling Fingers
- Bigby's Helpful Hand (for self-helpers, ahem)
- Bigby's Slapping Hand
- Bigby's Strangling Grip (erotic asphyxiation?)

Hmm... Bigby must have been a pretty perverted archmage...

meioziz
2007-06-15, 02:36 PM
Actually, someone already beat you to it. Look up the Book of Erotic Fantasy for a good laugh.

Oh, righto. I've forgotten about the existence of this book. Have more names of various archmagi been further defiled in this updated version?

Ganurath
2007-06-15, 03:08 PM
Oh, righto. I've forgotten about the existence of this book. Have more names of various archmagi been further defiled in this updated version?Melf probably altered his singular creation for cleanup.

Too keep things remotely on subject, I think Tsukiko's passion has less to due with that insanity disease and more to due with her being a perverse sort of evil. Or maybe a dominant personality, mystic study, and having been emotionally manipulated one too many times drew her to her fancy.

Forevergrey
2007-06-15, 03:56 PM
If you're doing this, might I suggest you include an invention of mine, if for no reason other than to pull another archmage into this whole mess:

Bigby's Caressing Hand
Evocation [Force]
Level: Sor/Wiz 6
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: 10-ft. hand
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: Will
Spell Resistance: Yes

This spell functions like Bigby's Interposing Hand, except that instead of providing cover, it moves toward the opponent until it comes upon the opponent. The hand then caresses the opponent, causing erotic feelings in the opponent. The erotic feelings cause the opponent loses all DEX bonuses (to AC or any other checks involving DEX) and cannot make Reflex saving throws. The opponent also suffers a -4 on her attacks and can only perform either a standard action or a move action each round the hand caresses.

A caressing hand is 10 feet long and about that wide with its fingers outstretched. On the fingers are holes, nodules, and suction cups designed to cause pleasurable erotic feelings for all genders.

If the opponent is a caster, she needs to make a Concentration check (DC14) to cast any spell with a somatic component.

As a free action, the caster can direct the hand to insert an elongated nodule into the opponents mouth. This would require the opponent to also succeed a Concentration check (DC14) to cast any spell with a verbal component. However, this action allows the opponent to make new Will save to resist the hand's erotic feelings as described above.

Focus
A soft glove.


...

Ahem, on second thought, I must have rolled -10 below the SAN check when I read this page, to suffer the additional drawback of writing additional material for it.... :smallfrown:


EDIT: Oh, another note on this spell... originally, I was going to write one for Bigby's Clenched Orifice. But I couldn't stop laughing too hard to type... so this task will have to fall on one of you!

EDIT2: Looking at Bigby's own Wiki page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigby_(Greyhawk)), I realized some of these can be reinterpreted as erotic spells:

- Bigby's Construction Crew (some women's fantasy?)
- Bigby's Dextrous Digits
- Bigby's Feeling Fingers
- Bigby's Helpful Hand (for self-helpers, ahem)
- Bigby's Slapping Hand
- Bigby's Strangling Grip (erotic asphyxiation?)

Hmm... Bigby must have been a pretty perverted archmage...

If I could cast this spell I would never get up in the morning, providing I (oh please god) failed my saving throw.

I might reach across for a ciggarette between castings however.

meioziz
2007-06-15, 04:06 PM
Now that I've written up a spell for Bigby (to sully his name, no less), and listed two that did in Leomund and Mordenkainen, I think it's only appropriate to include some other archmagi... perhaps they'd have secretly invented their own perversion spells:

Tasha's Orgasmic Laughter (modified from Tasha's Hideous Laughter)

Evard's Pink Tentacles (modified from Evard's Black Tentacles)

Tenser's Floating Dildo / Tenser's Gender Transformation (modified from Tenser's Floating Disc and Tenser's Transformation)

Nystul's Attractive Aura (modified from Nystul's Magic Aura, or Nystul's Undetectable Aura)

Otto's Irresistable Stripdance / Otto's Pulsing Vibrations (modified from Otto's Irresistable Dance and Otto's Soothing Vibrations)

And Melf's kinda hard to do... his magic arrows sound way too painful for this purpose... perhaps we could modify from Melf's Minute Meteors

Melf's Minute Eja... oh never mind. :smalltongue:

ThorFluff
2007-06-15, 04:34 PM
i'd hate to say this on a serious forum and all but....
ROFLMAO
Oh goddamn, my sides hurt, haven't had this fun for a long time:P

EDIT: Oh, another note on this spell... originally, I was going to write one for Bigby's Clenched Orifice. But I couldn't stop laughing too hard to type... so this task will have to fall on one of you!
ARGH, you'r killing me! :smallbiggrin:
Bigsby; The Tightass.

You just made my week.

the mysterian
2007-06-15, 04:43 PM
somebody was playing waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much D&D when they made that.

hmm there is a section on prostitutes.perfect for belkar.

PiperlyonWiz5
2007-06-15, 06:20 PM
Innecrophelia! That's the word i've been looking for to differentiate between the regular kind and what Tsukiko does.

what does that even meen?:smallconfused:

ThorFluff
2007-06-15, 06:25 PM
Un=In
Dead = Necro
Lover = Philia

Lichf****r in short (mods please don't kill me , just could not resist it:smallbiggrin: )

Jasdoif
2007-06-15, 06:43 PM
If I could cast this spell I would never get up in the morning, providing I (oh please god) failed my saving throw.You can choose to forego a saving throw and accept a spell's result, you know :smalltongue:

ThorFluff
2007-06-15, 07:08 PM
pfft, Summon Mount!
Its a cantrip, its free, and it's a randomly selected individual. I mean for all entertainment purposes, this has to beat everything!

Ganurath
2007-06-15, 07:30 PM
Now that I've written up a spell for Bigby (to sully his name, no less), and listed two that did in Leomund and Mordenkainen, I think it's only appropriate to include some other archmagi... perhaps they'd have secretly invented their own perversion spells:Melf probably modifed his acid arrows to a form that shot a harmless ammount of water in a narrow stream for a specific purpose (don't know what to call it.)

Rary's Exclusive Enhancer. Different effects based on the gender of the target, naturally.

The Extinguisher
2007-06-15, 07:38 PM
Blue Magic > All.
My bard uses them constantly.

Speedy Undress + Ultimate Lubrication + A swift kick down some stairs = Godly Amounts of Awesome

Needless to say, it makes the campaigns much more fun.

Thexare Blademoon
2007-06-15, 08:03 PM
Blue Magic > All.
My bard uses them constantly.

Speedy Undress + Ultimate Lubrication + A swift kick down some stairs = Godly Amounts of Awesome

Wait a second, where the hell does the kick down the stairs come from? :smallconfused: I must've failed my Knowledge (Useless) check here... blasted natural ones.

Kesnit
2007-06-15, 08:23 PM
Un=In
Dead = Necro
Lover = Philia

Lichf****r in short (mods please don't kill me , just could not resist it:smallbiggrin: )

Wouldn't that be Lich Loved from Book of Vile Darkness?

:smalleek:

The Extinguisher
2007-06-15, 08:50 PM
Wait a second, where the hell does the kick down the stairs come from? :smallconfused: I must've failed my Knowledge (Useless) check here... blasted natural ones.

The kick down the stairs comes from your feet kicking them down a set of stairs.

Ben7el
2007-06-15, 08:54 PM
Blue Magic > All.
My bard uses them constantly.

Speedy Undress + Ultimate Lubrication + A swift kick down some stairs = Godly Amounts of Awesome

Needless to say, it makes the campaigns much more fun.

The sad thing is, I read that book

:(

Pyro
2007-06-15, 08:57 PM
Some of these spells are so disturbing its rivaling the Belkars Romantic Interest thread. I'm so tempted to click the link to the site where these came from, but I fear the cookies it would bring.

Ganurath
2007-06-15, 08:58 PM
Some of these spells are so disturbing its rivaling the Belkars Romantic Interest thread. I'm so tempted to click the link to the site where these came from, but I fear the cookies it would bring.I didn't catch any cookies.

Hungry Kobold
2007-06-15, 09:00 PM
Some of these spells are so disturbing its rivaling the Belkars Romantic Interest thread. I'm so tempted to click the link to the site where these came from, but I fear the cookies it would bring.

Undead aphrodesiak cookies.:smallamused:

Thexare Blademoon
2007-06-15, 09:41 PM
The kick down the stairs comes from your feet kicking them down a set of stairs.

Ok, badly worded on my part, I meant to say "how is that related to the other two"

The Extinguisher
2007-06-15, 09:54 PM
Think of it this way. They are naked, extremely greasy and are falling down a set of stairs.

Come to think of it, Clothes to Oil would be more useful there.

Pyro
2007-06-15, 10:29 PM
Undead aphrodesiak cookies.:smallamused:

O god you just made it worse!! The brain acid quickly!

...Anyway what level is powerword castrate, just out of curiosity.

Demented
2007-06-15, 10:45 PM
Scroll of Quickened Regenerate, please.

Thexare Blademoon
2007-06-15, 11:16 PM
Think of it this way. They are naked, extremely greasy and are falling down a set of stairs.

Come to think of it, Clothes to Oil would be more useful there.

so in other words, the first part was just to make them helpless? Now I got it.

mental note: invest more in Spot, I can't even see the obvious lately.

ThorFluff
2007-06-16, 02:39 AM
Powerword: Unrobe
Good lord if that works on armors as well, that has to be one of the kinkiest and most effective spells against highlevel fighters ever:P

meioziz
2007-06-16, 10:49 AM
Melf probably modifed his acid arrows to a form that shot a harmless ammount of water in a narrow stream for a specific purpose (don't know what to call it.)

Rary's Exclusive Enhancer. Different effects based on the gender of the target, naturally.

Melf's Spermacidal Liquid Arrow? :smallcool:
Melf's Arrow of Impregnation? :smalltongue:



Powerword: Unrobe
Good lord if that works on armors as well, that has to be one of the kinkiest and most effective spells against highlevel fighters ever:P

Belkar has it made, apparently, with the Wand of Dispel Clothing, as foretold in the Jan 2007 Dragon Magazine OOTS comic. (so I heard on this forum)

Ah, here's a link to an old thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1737828) that mentioned it.

meioziz
2007-06-16, 11:01 AM
Scroll of Quickened Regenerate, please.

Or...

Remove Refractory Period
Abjuration
Level: Wiz/Sor 2
Components: V, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Targets: One creature plus one additional creature per four levels, no two of which can be more than 30 ft. apart
Duration: 10 minutes; see text
Saving Throw: Will negates (harmless)
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)

You instill horniness in the subject, granting it a +4 morale bonus against refractory period for 10 minutes. If the subject is in a refractory period when receiving the spell, that effect is removed.

Material Component
A sprinkle of bodily juice.

Orchestration
2007-06-16, 11:07 AM
BUKKAKE GOLEM!

...

A couple of DM's I know invented it, then decided it was moral wrong to use such a thing.

meioziz
2007-06-16, 11:39 AM
While I'm in the mood for inventing spells, why don't I summon more disturbing mental images...? Think I'll start with the list that I made:


Tasha's Orgasmic Laughter (modified from Tasha's Hideous Laughter)

Evard's Pink Tentacles (modified from Evard's Black Tentacles)

Tenser's Floating Dildo / Tenser's Gender Transformation (modified from Tenser's Floating Disc and Tenser's Transformation)

Nystul's Attractive Aura (modified from Nystul's Magic Aura, or Nystul's Undetectable Aura)

Otto's Irresistable Stripdance / Otto's Pulsing Vibrations (modified from Otto's Irresistable Dance and Otto's Soothing Vibrations)


I'll spoiler tag them to make it easier to expand/collapse them

Tasha's Orgasmic Laughter
Enchantment (Compulsion) [Mind-Affecting]
Level: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One creature; see text
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

This spell afflicts the subject with uncontrollable orgasmic laughter. It collapses into waves of orgasmic spasm, falling prone. The subject can take no actions while laughing orgasmically, but is not considered helpless. After the spell ends, it can act normally.

A creature with an Intelligence score of 4 or lower is not affected. A creature whose type is Construct or Undead, or otherwise have no functioning sexual organs or physically incapable of having an orgasm, is not affected.

Material Component
A sprinkle of lubrication is thrown toward the target and a vibrator worth at least 150gp that is waved in the air.


Evard's Pink Tentacles
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Sor/Wiz 4
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Area: 20-ft.-radius spread
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

This spell functions like Evard's Black Tentacles (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/blackTentacles.htm), but instead of crushing the creatures with great strength, it titillats them with great sensuality.

Once the tentacles grapple an opponent, they may make a grapple check each round on your turn to deal 1d6+4 points of nonlethal erotic damage. The tentacles continue to titillates the opponent until the spell ends or the opponent escapes. If the creature's nonlethal damages reaches its hp in this manner, before falling unconscious, the subject enters into an uncontrollably vocal orgasmic spasm, lasting 1 minute. All other creatures within a 15-ft radius of the mind-shattering orgasming creature take a -4 penalty to Concentration checks during the orgasm.

Any creature that enters the area of the spell is immediately attacked by the tentacles. Even creatures who aren’t grappling with the tentacles may move through the area at only half normal speed.

Constructs, Undeads, and other creatures not physically capable of arousal or orgasm take 1d4+1 points of damage each round instead.

Material Component
A piece of tentacle from a giant octopus or a giant squid.


Tenser's Floating Dildo
Evocation [Force]
Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: 2-ft.-long double-ended dildo of force
Duration: 1 hour/level
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

You create a double-ended, long length of dildo of force that follows you about. The disk is 2 feet in length and 3 inches in girth. It can move back and forth up to 3 times per round every 3 caster levels. The dildo floats approximately 3 feet above the ground behind the caster when not commanded otherwise. It floats along within spell range and will accompany you at a rate of no more than your normal speed each round.

If directed, it maintains a steady and faint vibration and inserts itself into the directed target. It can also be directed to insert itself into two targets, if the targets are in an erotic grapple in the same square, and are physically capable of simultaneously receiving the dildo.

Once inserted, the dildo expands in girth to provide the best stimulation for the specified target. On command from the target creature it can grow ribs or bumps.

The dildo winks out of existence when the spell duration expires. The dildo also winks out if you move beyond range or try to bend the dildo in impossible ways. When the disk winks out, whoever receiving the pleasures feel an emptiness and dissatisfaction in the area previous occupied by the dildo.

Directing the dildo to stimulate a different target is a free action.

Material Component
A chunk of rubber or silicone.


I'll do more of these if requested... :smallwink:

ThorFluff
2007-06-16, 02:04 PM
you'll have to tackle that "Clenched Orifice" now ;)
perhaps a spell that makes bodily orifices clamp together?

Researched by a wizard that caught her husband cheating:P

The Extinguisher
2007-06-16, 03:11 PM
Powerword: Unrobe
Good lord if that works on armors as well, that has to be one of the kinkiest and most effective spells against highlevel fighters ever:P

It's called Speedy Undress and it's a first level spell.

Fluff
2007-06-16, 04:51 PM
(Summon Cissaldan)

...

Definately an...Intresting...Way to die/kill some-one.

(*Looks around menacingly*:smallamused: )

:smalleek: