Weird scenario, just for fun -- what would you do with a satchel of cash?

[Bulldog Psion]

Okay, here's the weird scenario I thought of this morning, actually while chatting with a friend on Skype.

What would you do if you were desperately poor, needed money for a loved one's medical treatment, and you walked out one morning and found a brown paper bag lying in your driveway containing $35,000 in cash (or the equivalent in your local currency)?

My convoluted and paranoid thought process went kind of like this:

1. I'd assume first off that it had something to do with a drug deal by some creeps in the area. I'd figure there was no honest way $35K would end up in a paper bag.

2. My next thought would be that there's a good chance someone unpleasant is going to come looking for it.

3. If I just leave it there, and someone else comes and takes it, they'll blame me if they figured out it was dropped near my house. Thus, if I just leave it lying, and some random person takes it, then the criminals show up, they'll kill me for spending it.

4. With that in mind, I'd probably bring it inside so nobody else would take it. But I couldn't use it, despite the temptation, because someone might show up looking for it.

5. For that reason, I'd probably keep it in a box. If someone showed up looking for it, and knew the bag contents, I'd give it to them, no questions asked.

6. If nobody showed up, and I didn't hear about the money being missing (i.e. no local pensioner lost their life savings, etc.), then I'd be tempted to use it for the medical expenses. But I probably wouldn't, because...

7. It might have been part of some crime sting; if I show up and start using the bills whose serial numbers are known, I'd be fingering myself accidentally as whoever they were trying to "catch in the act" of spending said money. Same if I take it to the cops and turn it in; it would be kind of sticking my neck out. "So you stole it, and now you regret taking it, huh? You have the right to remain silent, jackass..."

So, my conclusion is: if I found $35,000 in cash in a paper bag in my driveway one morning, even if I needed the money desperately, I would keep it for 2 months in a box in the hallway. If nobody showed up to claim it in that time, I would take it and throw it on the roadside somewhere. It would be too big a risk to ever use it, and dicey to keep it (especially with the temptation to use it if things got really bad).

Yes, I would actually throw away a large amount of apparently unwanted cash that I found randomly on my property and that nobody claimed. :smallbiggrin:

What would you guys do? :smallbiggrin:

[factotum]

Difficult one. I would hand it in to the police, I think, because there's no realistic way you could actually *spend* $35k in cash, and it would probably turn out that the bills are marked and you get clapped in jail if you ever try to use them anyway.

[TechnOkami]

Hm...

I'd probably drive over to the police station, explain the situation to them, and then let them deal with the giant bag o' money.

[PoeticDwarf]

Okay, here's the weird scenario I thought of this morning, actually while chatting with a friend on Skype.

What would you do if you were desperately poor, needed money for a loved one's medical treatment, and you walked out one morning and found a brown paper bag lying in your driveway containing $35,000 in cash (or the equivalent in your local currency)?

My convoluted and paranoid thought process went kind of like this:

1. I'd assume first off that it had something to do with a drug deal by some creeps in the area. I'd figure there was no honest way $35K would end up in a paper bag.

2. My next thought would be that there's a good chance someone unpleasant is going to come looking for it.

3. If I just leave it there, and someone else comes and takes it, they'll blame me if they figured out it was dropped near my house. Thus, if I just leave it lying, and some random person takes it, then the criminals show up, they'll kill me for spending it.

4. With that in mind, I'd probably bring it inside so nobody else would take it. But I couldn't use it, despite the temptation, because someone might show up looking for it.

5. For that reason, I'd probably keep it in a box. If someone showed up looking for it, and knew the bag contents, I'd give it to them, no questions asked.

6. If nobody showed up, and I didn't hear about the money being missing (i.e. no local pensioner lost their life savings, etc.), then I'd be tempted to use it for the medical expenses. But I probably wouldn't, because...

7. It might have been part of some crime sting; if I show up and start using the bills whose serial numbers are known, I'd be fingering myself accidentally as whoever they were trying to "catch in the act" of spending said money. Same if I take it to the cops and turn it in; it would be kind of sticking my neck out. "So you stole it, and now you regret taking it, huh? You have the right to remain silent, jackass..."

So, my conclusion is: if I found $35,000 in cash in a paper bag in my driveway one morning, even if I needed the money desperately, I would keep it for 2 months in a box in the hallway. If nobody showed up to claim it in that time, I would take it and throw it on the roadside somewhere. It would be too big a risk to ever use it, and dicey to keep it (especially with the temptation to use it if things got really bad).

Yes, I would actually throw away a large amount of apparently unwanted cash that I found randomly on my property and that nobody claimed. :smallbiggrin:

What would you guys do? :smallbiggrin:

I'd go to the police. I would not spend it because that's not right. Not because I can end up in jail

[Alent]

Hm...

I'd probably drive over to the police station, explain the situation to them, and then let them deal with the giant bag o' money.

This, only I would probably call them to come look at it without ever touching it myself. Tainting evidence is bad.

The upshot to it is that at the end of their investigation, in some territories if no rightful owner is found it rolls back to you. One way or the other, the Police are better equipped to deal with the details and possible mob issues.

I'd just hope they don't try detonating it under the idea it's a boobytrap/IED.

[Insane Trystane]

Hmm... I'd call the police and inquire if someone had reported a large amount of cash, and if not, I might check again after a week before using it. I do strongly believe in doing the "right thing" and turning it in, but I also believe in miracles, so it wouldn't hurt to see which'd be the case in that instance.

EDIT: Oh yeah, bad things also exist, don't they. Then yeah, I'd turn it in to the police, because as much as I'd like to help my family I can't do so from prison.

[Starwulf]

I guess for right now I"m one of the few who would keep it. I live in the middle of nowhere, with pretty much no known drug people within a 30 mile radius of me. I wouldn't spend it immediately, I would wait to see if there were any robbed banks or people reporting a large sum of cash missing, but if nothing shows up in the news within a few weeks, I'd just go to a decent car lot a 100 miles or so away and pay for a new car in cash(since my car is 10+ years old and breaking down constantly). With whatever left I'd fill up my cupboards/fridge/freezer, get my teeth fixed, buy a new couch(ours is now sitting on the floor, ie: no space between the couch and the floor, the legs went kaput). That would probably eat it all up, if there was anything left over I'd set it aside for Christmas for my girls.

[Winter_Wolf]

I've been thinking about it, and if I was in the US I'd probably turn it over to the cops. If it were China, it's mine now. This is all based on my dealings with the law and law enforcement officials in both countries. Any more specific and I know I'd be violating forum rules.

[TheThan]

You mean a suitcase full of pistols and money? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyH_NxJ86vs)


Difficult one. I would hand it in to the police, I think, because there's no realistic way you could actually *spend* $35k in cash, and it would probably turn out that the bills are marked and you get clapped in jail if you ever try to use them anyway.

Agreed. But I know I could spend 35K in cash quite easily.

[NichG]

Speaking of country-specific things, in Japan there's a sort of customary reward equal to 10% of something's value if you find it and return it to the owner. I don't know the degree to which that actually exists in the law here, and most times I've lost items and had them returned the person refused any kind of monetary reward (in the one case in particular, I'd accidentally left my coat with my passport in it in a taxi cab. I called the company, they were able to locate the cab but they told me 'you will have to pay the cost of the taxi trip for your belongings' which of course I agreed to. However, the driver himself refused to accept when I tried to pay that fare). That said, I've also had people tell me about how when their wallet was found and turned in to the police, the finder had already received the 10% at the police station before the owner had actually even come back for the wallet. So...

Yeah, in Japan, notify the police and there's at least some chance that you'd end up with $3500 of it no matter what happens next.

[Peelee]

Difficult one. I would hand it in to the police, I think, because there's no realistic way you could actually *spend* $35k in cash

Look, if you don't think there's any realistic way to spend $35k in cash, you need to get a better heroine dealer.

Conversely, I'd bet I could find a contractor willing to take on the house upgrades I want for cash.

[Bobbybobby99]

I'd get a temporary job as a stripper for a few days, and claim that some random guy threw the money-box at me when I was going to my car. I'd watch the news for a couple weeks, check if any banks had been robbed, that sort of thing; if so, I would sit on the money underneath a floorboard or similar. They likely wouldn't be actively checking that sort of thing after a few years, so then I could have it as an emergency fund. I could also give it back to someone, if needed, and they also likely wouldn't care after a few years.

[factotum]

Look, if you don't think there's any realistic easy to spend $35k in cash, you need to get a better heroine dealer.

But then I'd have to choose whether to go with Lara Croft or Ripley! :smallwink:

[Ebon_Drake]

Setting aside the medical bills aspect, it's a fairly simple case of weighing up the risks versus the reward. In the grand scheme of things, $35k isn't really all that much money. For the average person, it's about 1-3 years' salary: nice, but not exactly life-changing. For me, the risks of pissing off the owner (probably an organised criminal) and/or running foul of the police simply wouldn't be worth it for the sake of gaining $35k. If we were talking more like $350k, then I might consider keeping it - but then, the risks of holding onto the money and the challenges of spending it without getting caught would also increase.

For what to actually do with the money, I'd agree with handing it to the police. It's the right thing to do anyway, but I'd also think there'd be a fairly strong chance that they'd give you some kind of protection in case the money's owner came looking for it. At the very least, I'd hope they'd want to monitor your area to try to catch the people who'd left it.

The medical bills issue is a real kink though. That takes it beyond just being a nebulous sum of money and gives a much stronger benefit of keeping the it beyond just spending it on nice things. If the condition was outright life threatening and I had no other means of paying for it, then I'd be much more tempted to keep it. If time wasn't critical though, I'd probably hang onto it for a month or so first in case anyone came looking for it. If they did, I'd probably hand it over - I'm a coward and a terrible liar!

If nobody came looking for the money, then you'd have the challenge of spending it without arousing suspicion. I have some clear ideas on how I'd go about laundering it, but I expect going into that would be against the forum rules about criminal activity.

[TheThan]

It actually can be life changing.
35K can buy you a new car, hook line and sinker.
35K can pay off medical expenses
35K can pay off student loans
35K can be a huge down payment on a house

I could keep going but you get the idea.

Now 35K may not completely change someone's life like say a million dollars would. But it can certainly change things and improve someone's quality of life; which is certainly life changing.

[Ebon_Drake]

Eh, I'd describe most of those things as life enhancing, not life changing. In theory you could do something like start up a business or fund higher education with it, but I think people are mostly in the mindset of going on a spending spree. Also, good luck laying down $35k cash for a mortgage deposit without any way of explaining how you got it. I suppose becoming a money launderer would count as a life change? :smalltongue:

Medical bills were already in the scenario, and I've said that something that extreme could change my attitude on taking advantage of blatantly dirty money. If you've only got six months to live, what've you got to lose? (Hmm, someone should make a TV series (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breaking_Bad) about that...)

[Peelee]

in the grand scheme of things, $35k isn't really all that much money. For the average person, it's about 1-3 years' salary: nice, but not exactly life-changing.

Whoah, hold up a second there. I'm assuming you are basing that on worldwide average, but regardless, if $35k is three years' salary, then it's a damn lot of money for that person.

[Insane Trystane]

Eh, I'd describe most of those things as life enhancing, not life changing. In theory you could do something like start up a business or fund higher education with it, but I think people are mostly in the mindset of going on a spending spree. Also, good luck laying down $35k cash for a mortgage deposit without any way of explaining how you got it. I suppose becoming a money launderer would count as a life change? :smalltongue:

Medical bills were already in the scenario, and I've said that something that extreme could change my attitude on taking advantage of blatantly dirty money. If you've only got six months to live, what've you got to lose? (Hmm, someone should make a TV series (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breaking_Bad) about that...)

35k would be life changing for me. That's like $550 a month I don't have to put towards my student loans (I'm overpaying slightly so as not to accrue extra interest.) I could move out of my parents' house and afford to eat more than ramen.

The amount I'd save in interest itself would be life-changing, but as a young person with their first real job, 35k would let me jump into my "real life" so much sooner, plus save for retirement. I'd call that a life changer.

That said, anyone got 35k they're looking to get rid of? :smalltongue:

[JeenLeen]

I'd probably take the bag indoors, research laws about it, then call the cops.

From TV shows (so probably not accurate), I gather that after 'x' days, found money becomes your money.
I would think calling the cops would assure the following:
1) keep me out of any sting operation (though that seems unlikely given the situation)
2) protect me if a if a criminal comes looking for it. If that happens, I can just say that I found some money and turned it into the police station. It's held there for any owners to show up and claim it. If they press me, I could state that the police know I turned it in, so hurting me would just draw additional attention.
3) keep me from getting in trouble if someone later says I stole it

IF it turns out that calling the cops would make me forfeit any claim to the cash, I may reconsider. I'd probably at least talk to some friends in law enforcement about it, to see what they recommend.
That much money wouldn't be life-changing, but it would be rather dramatic. Pay off several loans, get our savings set back up, etc.

[thorgrim29]

I would probably either hide it in my apartment for a month or two (to see if somebody not shady will come for it) then start spending cash and depositing random amounts between 500 and 1000 to my bank account every 2d8 day or call the police. That way I should get through it all in maybe 6 months. My uncle is a cop so I could probably talk it over with him first. I wouldn't be concerned about getting beat up because my area is full of apartments so they could never be sure it was me, and if a band of thugs starts systematically searching every apartment they'll get the police called on them in 15 minutes.

[Tyndmyr]

Difficult one. I would hand it in to the police, I think, because there's no realistic way you could actually *spend* $35k in cash, and it would probably turn out that the bills are marked and you get clapped in jail if you ever try to use them anyway.

Report the found money. If nothing comes of it, and nobody claims it, after a certain time, it's generally yours. Cheers!

A shot at a pile of money with no guilt or pending consequences? That's a good day, in my book. I mean, I'm 100% certain that I would have no difficulty in handling a pile of cash, but I like my life to be nice and simple and aboveboard.

I *have* had this happen with a case of modern masters 2015 that was delivered to me by mistake. That's not $35k, but it's well into "that's worth some money" territory. Promptly notified the sender. It ain't about the money, it's about what I want to do.

[Peelee]

Report the found money. If nothing comes of it, and nobody claims it, after a certain time, it's generally yours. Cheers!

You live in Maryland. Factotum lives in UK. Are you sure about claim?

[Ebon_Drake]

Whoah, hold up a second there. I'm assuming you are basing that on worldwide average, but regardless, if $35k is three years' salary, then it's a damn lot of money for that person.

I'm basing it on the UK average of about £25k ($35k) per annum, as that's where I live and it also happens to be roughly what I earn. I'd assume the average income in the rest of the developed world would be fairly similar. A quick look at stats for income in the USA (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_income_in_the_United_States) seems to bear that out. It's actually more like 1 year's salary going by the averages, but the scenario said we're poor so I based it on the lower end of the scale - about 3 years of full time employment at minimum wage.

Even if we just said it was legitimate money that you'd come into (inheritance or something) so there's no issues with spending it freely, I think you'd be really surprised by how little you can actually get for that kind of money. It'd be very tempting to spend it on luxuries like overseas vacations, nice cars, TVs, electronics etc, but if you did that you'd find it'd disappear very rapidly. As far as I can see, the best options for using it to actually make meaningful lasting changes to your life would be to clear/reduce any debts with it to free up your actual disposable income, or to invest it - either in the bonds/stocks-and-shares kind of sense or in the sense of facilitating a career change in some way. You'd have to be very savvy about doing that though, it'd be all to easy to squander it.

That said, I'm the worst person to ask about how I'd spend a large amount of money because I'll freely admit I'm insanely frugal. If someone handed me £35k tomorrow, I can honestly say all I'd do with it is take it to the bank and add it to the pile I'm saving to buy a house *Yawn*. If people can think of all kinds of cool and exciting things to do with the money, I say go for it.

[Velaryon]

In the listed scenario where I'm desperately poor and a loved one needs expensive medical treatment, I'm taking the money and using it on those bills. My loved ones' life matters more to me than who the money rightfully belongs to. Heck, for all I know an anonymous benefactor left it there on purpose.

Take the medical situation out of the equation though, and my answer changes drastically. At that point I pull out my phone, call the cops, and stand there to make sure nothing happens to the bag until they get there. As tempting as it would be to finish paying off my student loans or put a down payment on a condo or something, it's not worth the risk of getting into trouble, legal or otherwise.

[TheThan]

Now if this was an action movie scenario. I would take the money use it to pay for those medical expenses then spend the rest of the film fighting off the mafia or Yakuza or whatever criminal organization that happens to have lost their money.

granted I'd also have combat training and be hard boiled enough to look awesome.

[Artemis97]

Assuming I go through the whole "call the cops and make sure it's not stolen" rigamarole, 35k would be a real nice thing to have. I could pay off my student loans and medical bills and have a nice amount left over. If I'm smart, I'd invest it, but since we're talking magically appearing cash, I'll take my boyfriend and I on a trip to Egypt or something like that. Fly first class, get a nice hotel, arrange a fancy tour of the pyramids. It'd be a real nice time.

[Tvtyrant]

If I was living where I do now, I would turn it in as I live with other people.

If I was living in an apartment alone, I would immediately move and take it with me. 35K would be enough to get me through grad school and survive until I get a career going, instead of having to take any jobs that come near me and hope to stumble upon one I like somewhere in my 30s.

[Starwulf]

I'm basing it on the UK average of about £25k ($35k) per annum, as that's where I live and it also happens to be roughly what I earn. I'd assume the average income in the rest of the developed world would be fairly similar. A quick look at stats for income in the USA (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_income_in_the_United_States) seems to bear that out. It's actually more like 1 year's salary going by the averages, but the scenario said we're poor so I based it on the lower end of the scale - about 3 years of full time employment at minimum wage.

Even if we just said it was legitimate money that you'd come into (inheritance or something) so there's no issues with spending it freely, I think you'd be really surprised by how little you can actually get for that kind of money. It'd be very tempting to spend it on luxuries like overseas vacations, nice cars, TVs, electronics etc, but if you did that you'd find it'd disappear very rapidly. As far as I can see, the best options for using it to actually make meaningful lasting changes to your life would be to clear/reduce any debts with it to free up your actual disposable income, or to invest it - either in the bonds/stocks-and-shares kind of sense or in the sense of facilitating a career change in some way. You'd have to be very savvy about doing that though, it'd be all to easy to squander it.

That said, I'm the worst person to ask about how I'd spend a large amount of money because I'll freely admit I'm insanely frugal. If someone handed me £35k tomorrow, I can honestly say all I'd do with it is take it to the bank and add it to the pile I'm saving to buy a house *Yawn*. If people can think of all kinds of cool and exciting things to do with the money, I say go for it.

I can't think of any poor people that would go out and frivolously fritter away 35k in cash on vacations and stuff, and that includes myself. Most people(that I know anyways) that are poor, aren't poor because of lack of education or lack of motivation, there are other circumstances involved(such as my disability of a broken back). That kind of poor person generally is much smarter when it comes to money. I can safely say I wouldn't spend the money on anything frivolous.

As I said in my first post: New Car(our car is 11 years old, and just about finished at this point, constantly having things go wrong with it), have my teeth fixed(due to bad hygiene when I was younger, I have many nasty cavities, thankfully I've staved off more serious damage by adopting very rigorous hygiene practices for the last 5 years), stock my cupboards with food(food stamps are nowhere near enough to feed a family of four, and definitely not enough to do so in a healthy manner), buy a new couch(this is the absolute "worst" purchase we'd make) because ours is literally falling apart. Pay off my parents the money they've helped us with(see previous mention of car constantly breaking down). See if we could get the leak fixed in our room, tired of mold growing in the ceiling. The rest would go into the bank. I doubt I'd even so much as buy a book with the money at this point. So yeah, 100% absolutely life-changing.

[factotum]

I can't think of any poor people that would go out and frivolously fritter away 35k in cash on vacations and stuff, and that includes myself.

It's happened. There was a couple who won the pools in the UK back in the 60s, and who famously said they were going to "Spend, spend, spend!"--and they did. Burned through all the money in a couple of years, as I recall. It was so famous they made a musical about it:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spend_Spend_Spend

[Jay R]

I might begin by trying to get advice from a group of people anonymously - perhaps on a forum where I am only known by an alias.

Ummmm...

Is this really a hypothetical question?

[Grinner]

I might begin by trying to get advice from a group of people anonymously - perhaps on a forum where I am only known by an alias.

Ummmm...

Is this really a hypothetical question?

I don't think so. He had a pretty good plan already.

[Jaycemonde]

Easy. Barring any incidents of a legal or criminal nature within two to three months, set aside enough to pay the rent on the apartment while saving up all actual earnings for other things, and invest the rest.

[veti]

Difficult one. I would hand it in to the police, I think, because there's no realistic way you could actually *spend* $35k in cash, and it would probably turn out that the bills are marked and you get clapped in jail if you ever try to use them anyway.

Where I come from, this is the legally correct answer. The only "good faith" way to handle it is to treat it as "lost property", and assume that someone might go looking for it/making enquiries for it through legit channels.

So you hand it in at the nearest police station.

If, after (one month? - maybe longer), nobody has claimed it and the cops' attempts to trace the owner haven't turned up anything - it becomes legally yours, free and clear. (I'm not sure if it's taxable.)

I actually did this once - albeit with a rather smaller amount of money, but still, £100 in cash was a nice windfall to get back after a wait.

In the scenario you describe, this has the advantage that if two burly men with bulges under their armpits do come to your door making enquiries, you can tell them truthfully exactly where to go with a friendly smile on your face.

[Peelee]

Where I come from, this is the legally correct answer. The only "good faith" way to handle it is to treat it as "lost property", and assume that someone might go looking for it/making enquiries for it through legit channels.

So you hand it in at the nearest police station.

If, after (one month? - maybe longer), nobody has claimed it and the cops' attempts to trace the owner haven't turned up anything - it becomes legally yours, free and clear. (I'm not sure if it's taxable.)

I actually did this once - albeit with a rather smaller amount of money, but still, £100 in cash was a nice windfall to get back after a wait.

In the scenario you describe, this has the advantage that if two burly men with bulges under their armpits do come to your door making enquiries, you can tell them truthfully exactly where to go with a friendly smile on your face.

Yeah, but what's the limit? Because there's gotta be a limit, and it's gotta be well under $35k. Otherwise, it'd be the easiest way to launder money possible.

"Excuse me, officer, I found a couple million in this paper sack, can you believe it? Welp, here's my number, call me in a month!"

[veti]

Yeah, but what's the limit? Because there's gotta be a limit, and it's gotta be well under $35k. Otherwise, it'd be the easiest way to launder money possible.

"Excuse me, officer, I found a couple million in this paper sack, can you believe it? Welp, here's my number, call me in a month!"

In that scenario, I assume the police would spend their month (or whatever it is) - looking quite closely into your affairs, along with any other leads they may have. It's inviting very close scrutiny, which is probably not really what you're looking for if you're trying to launder money.

[Kastor]

I'm going to respond totally honestly-

I'd take a small, indeterminate amount from it, but a hopefully unnoticeable amount, pocket it, then replace the bag.

i mean, if they're dealing with 35k, i doubt that ~$500 will screw them over.

[Peelee]

In that scenario, I assume the police would spend their month (or whatever it is) - looking quite closely into your affairs, along with any other leads they may have. It's inviting very close scrutiny, which is probably not really what you're looking for if you're trying to launder money.

Two words - fall guy.

Simplest job ever. Give a bag to the cops, wait a month, get bag back, get a couple thousand.

[veti]

Two words - fall guy.

Simplest job ever. Give a bag to the cops, wait a month, get bag back, get a couple thousand.

If you knew the money was dirty, and there's a small chance the cops would find out where it came from... would you take that kind of risk, for a measly couple of grand? I wouldn't. The payoff isn't worth the risk.

And if I were the person doing the laundering - knowing that the police had been holding the money, and knowing that they knew precisely who had handed it to them, and there was a very high chance they'd be watching her for an indeterminate period after - would I select this method, rather than the more conventional "take it to the racetrack"?

No. No, I would not. As a way of money laundering, it's ridiculously high risk. "Getting the police to hold your dodgy money" is - well, let's be kind and call it "ballsy".

[Chen]

In the scenario you describe, this has the advantage that if two burly men with bulges under their armpits do come to your door making enquiries, you can tell them truthfully exactly where to go with a friendly smile on your face.

Yeah because I'm sure the criminals will just leave you alone nicely after this, rather than extorting you to pay back some of the money they've now lost.

Or hell if they're smart they'd just say "Ok well we'll be back in a month to get that money, plus interest. Make sure you have it" and then leave.

[veti]

Yeah because I'm sure the criminals will just leave you alone nicely after this, rather than extorting you to pay back some of the money they've now lost.

Or hell if they're smart they'd just say "Ok well we'll be back in a month to get that money, plus interest. Make sure you have it" and then leave.

If they do that, they're admitting to exactly who and what they are, and what's to stop you from taking that info back to the cops? That'd be the surest way to get them off your back.

Okay, from your point of view it's not good - you get threatened and you'll almost certainly lose the money, once the cops can prove where it came from. But from their point of view, the downside is much worse than that.

So they'd be idiots to take that line.

[Peelee]

If they do that, they're admitting to exactly who and what they are, and what's to stop you from taking that info back to the cops? That'd be the surest way to get them off your back.

Okay, from your point of view it's not good - you get threatened and you'll almost certainly lose the money, once the cops can prove where it came from. But from their point of view, the downside is much worse than that.

So they'd be idiots to take that line.

......you don't really get organized crime, do you?

[Bulldog Psion]

I don't think so. He had a pretty good plan already.

Heh, I was wondering if anyone would mention this aspect of my thread. :smallwink:

It actually is a hypothetical question -- but you'd expect me to say that, too, wouldn't you? :smallbiggrin:

[Peelee]

Heh, I was wondering if anyone would mention this aspect of my thread. :smallwink:

It actually is a hypothetical question -- but you'd expect me to say that, too, wouldn't you? :smallbiggrin:

I didn't think about it until Jay R pointed it out, but now I firmly believe it.

[Jay R]

If they do that, they're admitting to exactly who and what they are, ...

Not quite. They have admitted what they are, but unless they leave their names and drivers license, they have not told you who they are.


... and what's to stop you from taking that info back to the cops?

The usual disincentive in these situations is the threat to kill you and your loved ones.


That'd be the surest way to get them off your back.

In general, people who can be dissuaded from illegal actions by fear of the police don't get involved in organized crime in the first place.


So they'd be idiots to take that line.

I'm sure that this will console your surviving friends and family.

[The Glyphstone]

If they do that, they're admitting to exactly who and what they are, and what's to stop you from taking that info back to the cops? That'd be the surest way to get them off your back.

Okay, from your point of view it's not good - you get threatened and you'll almost certainly lose the money, once the cops can prove where it came from. But from their point of view, the downside is much worse than that.

So they'd be idiots to take that line.


......you don't really get organized crime, do you?

Yeti's got a point, honestly. Sure, they aren't scared of the cops, but (most) OrgCrime also doesn't like drawing attention to itself when it can avoid it. Some sort of small-time dealer might go for the up-front goon squad, but a larger group would be more likely to send an innocuous, friendly man around the neighborhood knocking on doors and politely asking if anyone found a bag with money in it, cause it's for his son's operation or some similar story. Telling him (truthfully) that you found it and turned it into the cops, and they might just write it off as a cost of business then take it out of the hide of whoever lost it instead. It's very dependent on the environment, the amount of money, and other factors - a cartel in Mexico or South America, for instance, will just start carving up your pets and neighbors and family members until you fork over their cash whether you ever had it or not, cause their reputation as terrifying and uncrossable is very important to their power base. The American Mafia would (depending on location) probably be more likely to rough you up a bit to be sure you weren't lying, then write off the cash and walk away with some threats that you'd better not look to be collecting any finder's fees. A few thousand dollars is a lot easier to soak than a million dollars, etc.

[Peelee]

Yeti's got a point, honestly. Sure, they aren't scared of the cops, but (most) OrgCrime also doesn't like drawing attention to itself when it can avoid it.

Well, unless it's profitable enough. They practically built Las Vegas, before greed and idiocy forced them out, and it was pretty well-known who was running things, if what I've read is to be believed.

Besides, the situation he described was even less open than a protection racket (assuming they know whose house the money landed in front of, that is; otherwise, I take your point).

[The Glyphstone]

Well, unless it's profitable enough. They practically built Las Vegas, before greed and idiocy forced them out, and it was pretty well-known who was running things, if what I've read is to be believed.

Besides, the situation he described was even less open than a protection racket (assuming they know whose house the money landed in front of, that is; otherwise, I take your point).

True - if this was a historical scenario, before RICO, my answer would have been quite different. The mob is a lot more circumspect nowadays than they once were.

[veti]

If they were the type to kill me just to protect their own reputation, then I was boned the moment I picked up the bag. None of the suggestions in this thread would have saved me.


The usual disincentive in these situations is the threat to kill you and your loved ones.

If they're Organized Crime, then either they'll have a cosy relationship with the local police, or they won't.

If they do, then knowing that the money is in the hands of the police is good news to them. They send their appropriate representative to talk it through with them, reach a mutually satisfactory arrangement, and then tell me whatever story they like. I'm out of it, none the worse for wear.

If they don't, then for all they know, the cops have already staked out my house, and any overt move on their part on the doorstep will see them up to their ears in SWAT goons. Assuming they're willing to take that chance - then, basically, see point 1 above. No other course of action on my part would have made me any safer.

[Grinner]

*snip*

I think you're assuming too much on the part of the police. You've created an excellent set of rationalizations, but they all depend on the police behaving just as you expect. They might just write it off, but you'd be in a dangerous position no matter how you look at it.

[Killer Angel]

It's an hypothetical scenario, right?

Well, I'll keep 'em all. :smallbiggrin:

[The Succubus]

Bury the body and start running.

[Chen]

Yeti's got a point, honestly. Sure, they aren't scared of the cops, but (most) OrgCrime also doesn't like drawing attention to itself when it can avoid it. Some sort of small-time dealer might go for the up-front goon squad, but a larger group would be more likely to send an innocuous, friendly man around the neighborhood knocking on doors and politely asking if anyone found a bag with money in it, cause it's for his son's operation or some similar story. Telling him (truthfully) that you found it and turned it into the cops, and they might just write it off as a cost of business then take it out of the hide of whoever lost it instead.

I kind of agree the higher ups probably would write it off even at $35k, assuming they're pretty big to begin with (Mafia and such). Now the goon who LOST it in the first place though, he's the one I'd be worried about. He's not going to go back to his superiors and tell them he just happened to lose $35k. He'd be the one who is more likely to threaten/shake you down for it because really he doesn't have much to lose at that point.


If they don't, then for all they know, the cops have already staked out my house, and any overt move on their part on the doorstep will see them up to their ears in SWAT goons. Assuming they're willing to take that chance - then, basically, see point 1 above. No other course of action on my part would have made me any safer.

I'd imagine it's unlikely the police would setup a situation like that. Who has the manpower for that kind of thing? And again, the moron who lost the money in the first place is probably willing to take that risk anyways, rather than go back to his criminal bosses and tell them he lost a bunch of money on someone's driveway.

[Errata]

there's no realistic way you could actually *spend* $35k in cash, and it would probably turn out that the bills are marked and you get clapped in jail if you ever try to use them anyway.

I don't think it's as easy to track marked bills as you might think, that amount is not going to warrant an extraordinary effort on the part of authorities, and picking up cash dropped on your driveway is not exactly going to rocket you to the top of their most wanted list.

As for spending it, you could just not go to the ATM for the next decade. Laundering it for a major purchase may be complicated, but gradually spending it on the sorts of minor transactions that you may use cash for normally would not be overly difficult. It would certainly take a while, but $35k isn't such a windfall that you'd never be able to spend it on day to day purchases.

I don't have any pressing need for that money, but I'd still have to think about what to do with it. If I did keep it, I'd set it aside for several months first. I find it very improbable that someone would have that much cash on hand for non-illegal reasons, and never make an effort to recover it, but I suppose they might not publicize it or realize where to look.

[Jaycemonde]

I decided to revamp my earlier statement. I'd also use a significant portion of it purely on estrogen and bicalutamide, and on The Division, and on some new shoes (including an extra pair of my heels in case I **** them up later on), and everything I'd need to get into a vape-building career. That last one is something that basically builds itself financially.

The rest of the old statement still stands.

[goto124]

Could you earn enough money fast enough that when someone asks for the cash back, you can pay back easily?

[Jaycemonde]

Could you earn enough money fast enough that when someone asks for the cash back, you can pay back easily?

Making machined brass and wood casings for glorified electric stoves and filling them with ridiculously thermally efficient wire, then selling them for $100ish each? I don't see why not.

[ace rooster]

Pay the medical expenses. Best case nothing else happens. Intermediate case I end up in jail, which is probably worth it anyway, as the loved one has already got treatment. Worst case my deception skills are tested by unpleasant people, but I should be able to buy enough time for myself to get out of Dodge, while the loved one gets treatment.

If the medical thing is not serious enough to obviously justify the risk I would speak to a good lawyer, and probably leave it with them.

[Asmodean_]

Hey, police? I found $30k in this bag on my lawn. What should I do?

Take the other $5k because why not.

Also, the fact they got it into my lawn would be terrifying because I only have a back lawn, not a front lawn.

[SZbNAhL]

Under my present circumstances I'd just leave it there, maybe point a discrete camera at it so I could show the film to any unpleasant blokes with interesting scars who came calling about "that load of dosh what went missing from the front of your place"*.

If the NHS** ceased functioning for whatever reason and I also couldn't afford the treatment out of my own pocket, I'd take it, launder it (details omitted due to forum rules, but it would definitely be possible) and use it to pay for dear Aunty Ethel's chemo or whatever.

Were the NHS** to cease functioning AND the money could not be laundered for some reason, I would wait for the mob to show up and when they did happily give them the money and politely ask if they wanted to place a forensic chemist on retainer. Hey, organised criminals pay well for services and I have a few grand of medicine to buy for a sweet old lady here.

*Because all organised criminals have South London idiolects, obviously.
**Is that a known term outside of the UK? It's our universal healthcare system.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Well, seeing as I am currently over 20K in debt...

I'm totally keeping the money. I would deposit it through the ATM into my bank account, in small chunks, and start making payments to my debt collectors.

I'd use whatever is left to first make repairs to my car, then make a down payment on a new place to live.

[comicshorse]

Think about keeping it
Watch 'Shallow Grave' again
Leave it where it is