Fun Moments in DnD

[TheCreatorT]

Mostly since I haven't seen enough of these kinda posts, what have been some recent fun or funny moments u all had recently in campaigns?

One of my favorites is my Dwarf Ranger trying to convince the party to piss off a dragon so we could lead it to a Duergar stronghold, at level 2... My raging badger didn't help lol.

[Albions_Angel]

My only experience is from 5e recently :(

I play an odd combination between surreal comedy relief and party tank/front line. Not my usual character but when you have 12 (yes 12) new players under a first time Rule of Cool dm, you end up with 6 bladepact warlocks with high cha, low dex and con and no str, a pacifist cleric who is hardly ever there, a rogue who is also never there, a wizard that doesnt cast spells (and gets cross when he steals a staff at level 3 but isnt allowed to unlock its level 20 abilities), a sorc who is actually kinda effective... if there is no combat, another homebrew warlock (who pretends to be a fighter with high cha, but actually has a crazy number of homebrew SLAs and multiple personality disorder) and a Rob. Thats right, a guy playing himself. He hasnt actually played a game yet. Our DM seems to think its the funniest thing in the world. I am unconvinced.

Well the party needed something to actually stand up in combat. First thought was a Moon Circle (read Wildshape) druid. Only the DM thought it would be funny if the druid never saw an animal and couldnt wildshape. Ever after I pointed out we were dead in teh first encounter if wildshape was off the table. So time to pull some cheese. I dug up the (then) new UA rules on the Mystic class, and specifically the Order if the Immortal. That thing DOES NOT DIE. Fast healing, healing outside of rests, ability to pump AC AS A REACTION, ability to pump initiative.

Que Mian Dao. Mian Dao is a 7'8" Blue Orc (half orc refluffed). Cast out for being blue, he lived in a cave on the shore by himself, until a little box with an unusual scroll washed up on shore. This scroll is the "Way of Covetous Shen", some 12' long and filled with beautiful purple chinese symbols. From this, Mian Dao learned the way of mystics. And so he turns up to session one, hulking over everyone, impossible to hit in combat, huge HP pool, shaved head, tatoos with more symbols, never surprised by anything, scary as all hell. Into this band of misfits and fools. And he says almost nothing. And then in combat, totally silent, he deals death to 21 goblins and 2 orcs without a scratch. The party goes from weary to fearful.

Thats when we encounter the Door. A Door we cannot open. A Door we need to open. While the party argues, I put on a slow, thoughtful, deep voice, clear my throat, and say "Master Shen says over the lifetime of the universe, all things spend more time not existing, than existing. All things are transitory and without substance." Then I break character and utter the fateful words "Mian Dao walks into the door". There is a pause. The party is looking at me. The DM is looking at me. In a moment of madness I say in that voice again, hand pressed to my nose to muffle myself "Master Shen is sometimes difficult to interpret".

The reaction was scary. The DM actually fell off his chair. It was 15 minutes before people stopped laughing. And thats when I realized the beautiful juxtaposition of my character. We settle down. The warlocks decide to put on a fire works display and surreptitiously blast the door. They severely weaken it but also bounce a blast off the door into a commoner, downing him instantly. Before the crowd can turn nasty, I open my mouth again. Scooping up the man calmly, and will all 7'8" of me, I say "This man requires medical attention" And walk at the door. It falls backward off its hinges. My party rushes in as I place the man on a table before turning to the door, lifting it back into the frame and saying to the crowd "Please return to your homes. This man requires medical attention." That kickstarts everybody laughing again. It gets worse when the guards turn up and demand to know what we are doing. "This man requires medical attention." Each time needs a 5 minute break from the game.

I realize I am dealing with childish minds here. My usual group would have laughed once, chuckled a second time, and been annoyed at the third, but here I am, the comedy relief. That day went down in history, but it wasnt the last.

Mian Dao has confounded angry mobs, bamboozeled the head cleric of the main religion, and started a (soundcloud) self help radio show. He now has permanent inspiration, 3 extra feats, an army of sentient shaolin squirrels and the ability to detect evil and chaos at huge ranges with no direction or distance (from the time when the wizard was off in another city and blew half of it up in a magical accident, causing Mian to say "I feel a great disturbance in the cosmic harmony, as if 975 voices (the number killed in the incident) suddenly cried out in terror, and were silenced"). And the character has just hit level 5, giving him a dedicated way to ALWAYS DO DAMAGE. And he is literally the only thing keeping the party alive.

Im still amazed quite frankly.

[Tiri]

Well, this isn't exactly funny, but it's so stupid I find it amusing. When my group's party was going through the Wreck Ashore module (which was a pirate-based adventure), we decided to light up the pirates' fake lighthouse and hide. Then, the party decided it would be a good idea to hide at the top of the lighthouse. The pirates arrived, set the lighthouse on fire, and defeated us with ease as we tried to fight our way out of a burning building. As it happens, that reminds me of an actually funny moment we had trying to get through a door the pirates had barricaded.

Fighter (18 Str): *tries to force door* *rolls* 7.
DM: The door does not open.
Fighter: Crap!
Ranger: (13 Str): Let me try. *rolls* 3.
DM: It's still not open.
Sorcerer (10 Str and Small size): Get out of the way. *pushes fighter and ranger out of the way* *rolls* 18.
DM: The door falls down.
Everyone: ...
DM: You see three pirates on the other side.

[erok0809]

The barbarian in the game I'm DMing suplexed a hippogriff yesterday.

[JyP]

Fighter (18 Str): *tries to force door* *rolls* 7.
DM: The door does not open.
Fighter: Crap!
Ranger: (13 Str): Let me try. *rolls* 3.
DM: It's still not open.
Sorcerer (10 Str and Small size): Get out of the way. *pushes fighter and ranger out of the way* *rolls* 18.
DM: The door falls down.
Everyone: ...
DM: You see three pirates on the other side.
I had exactly the same, 20 years ago, with AD&D2. The big guys were a barbarian and a fighter with strength in 18/20+ territory, and the door was opened by a courtesan with 8 in strength... surely using her superior etiquette. :smallbiggrin:

[Nibbens]

"Master Shen is sometimes difficult to interpret".

Now that is funny! lol.

As far as fun is concerned (not funny), I was DMing for a 3rd level group of about 6 people and it was maybe their 5th or 6th session of any table top game. So they we're still green, but learning the ways of PF.

They were protecting a quartz mining operation for a local glass-maker/entrepreneur in an out of the way mountain-top somewhere. They found an old mining camp and decided to refortify it. Among their efforts, they found an old barrel of gunpowder. At the time, I had no idea how important that gunpowder would become.

They had spent the day fortifying the camp against an incoming werewolf attack, getting one of the PCs infected, riding for 2 straight days to a nearby town to save his life - killing the horses in the process. A small fight broke out with everyone having to fight with the exhausted condition. hah.

Once they were back at the mining camp was when one of the best sessions I ever seen. They arrive back at the camp to see the workers scurrying around as one of the mineshafts just collapsed, creating a giant hole into a cavern where some workers fell. It was approximately 100 feet down from the shaft to the cavern, so a lot of climb checks were needed.

The PCs go down to try and save people and come to a giant underground cavern with the mine workers all separated. They find several dead bodies, and one alive who tells them that more were alive, but they were dragged away.

The PCs save that guy and start searching for more miners/whatever was dragging them away. Soon enough they find a nest of cave fishers. They killed them all.

Then they found more.

They killed them.

Then they found a hole, which more started to pour out of.

Round 1: The newest/greenest sorcerer was confident: "We can take them!"

Round 2 after more came through the hole: "We still got this..."

Round 3 after even more came pouring through and advancing toward the PCs: "RUN!"

What followed was a totally unplanned and epic skill game of PCs trying to climb the only rope leading down into the collapsed cavern - with the Cavefishers advancing more and more - crawling along the walls ceiling and floor, covering every inch of the cavern with their strange insect like bodies. (Not to mention that the PC playing the Sorcerer is deathly afraid of bugs - and I just so happened to have a TON of bug figures - I used them all on the board. She was the first up the rope. lol.)

The challenge resulted in the lighter armor characters making it up the rope fairly easily, but the others struggled. One of them rolled a 1 and fell all the way down to the bottom. He was down to 1 hp and the bugs were less than 30 feet away from his current location at the time.

I made several attempts to grab with the filament of the cave fishers - and failed them all. Once he was 1/2 way up the rope, he failed another climb check and then he tells me:

"I cut my breastplate off with my dagger."

Now, at this point in all of my gaming career - i'd never seen another PC ever willingly discard a magic item to save their lives. He did.

Cutting the breastplate with his dagger it fell into the swarming nasties below, and he scampered up to safety.

As he was climbing up, and others were pulling to get him up faster - one PC remembered the old barrel of gunpowder they found in the camp. He ran to get it - found it and made it back in time to see the now armorless character cresting over the edge of the shaft. He crawls his way out and the other PC lights the barrel on fire and throws it down the hole.

Everybody runs - the sorcerer looks back just one last time to see a Cavefisher crawling over the edge of the hole - coming after it's prey as a giant explosion rocked the underground and caused a cave in - sealing the mineshaft and saving everyone.

DM's note: I plan sessions day by day, and had no idea that the cave fishers would swarm like that and follow them out of the cavern. It just kind of happened so I ran with it. And that's what made that gunpowder even more special - because it was just a random item I placed in the camp some days earlier and had no idea it would become so important. When the PC remembered the barrel and ran to get it, i was literally reminded that I had said there was one.

[Toilet Cobra]

The barbarian in the game I'm DMing suplexed a hippogriff yesterday.

Off the top rope and through a table??

Last session, we were having a discussion about the way Pathfinder vampires differ in their weaknesses from "classic" vampires or whatever. Specifically, there's no stake-through-the-heart weakness on a PF vamp. But I tell the guys, I always liked that weakness. So if you pick up a stake- an actual stake, not a sliver of wood or a crossbow bolt- and want to try an attack roll, you hit the heart on a nat 20. Otherwise, no effect whatsoever and the stake is destroyed. Basically, it was supposed to be a way to automatically kill a sleeping vamp if you found his grave during the day.

Long story short, the party's halfling ninja grabbed a stake in each hand and one lucky roll later, no more vampire boss battle. :P

[martixy]

I had exactly the same, 20 years ago, with AD&D2. The big guys were a barbarian and a fighter with strength in 18/20+ territory, and the door was opened by a courtesan with 8 in strength... surely using her superior etiquette. :smallbiggrin:

When that happens you say "I loosened it for ya" and move on.

[ComaVision]

Last session, we were having a discussion about the way Pathfinder vampires differ in their weaknesses from "classic" vampires or whatever. Specifically, there's no stake-through-the-heart weakness on a PF vamp. But I tell the guys, I always liked that weakness. So if you pick up a stake- an actual stake, not a sliver of wood or a crossbow bolt- and want to try an attack roll, you hit the heart on a nat 20. Otherwise, no effect whatsoever and the stake is destroyed. Basically, it was supposed to be a way to automatically kill a sleeping vamp if you found his grave during the day.

Long story short, the party's halfling ninja grabbed a stake in each hand and one lucky roll later, no more vampire boss battle. :P

I had this happen in my game too, except it was 3.5. I had a new player there for a one-shot and she was the only one that could see the vampire through the magical darkness. She asked if she could kill it with a stake and I said "Yes, but it would be very difficult because of the full plate the vampire is wearing." Nat 20, bye bye boss. I don't think he got to hit anyone.

[Bobby Baratheon]

I'm DMing a small group right now, so I have a DMPC that helps fill out the party. We've got a level 6 paladin/bard, a level 6 warlock/stalwart battle sorcerer (me), a level 5 homebrewed fighter type, and a level 5 duskblade; the other three are all new players. They're riding through the forest, and they see someone hiding in the bushes. They shout, he doesn't immediately respond, so being PC's they immediately shoot at him. They end up fighting him and his three pals, who were supposed to be a plothook (they're rebels, but their base is under attack by a manticore and they were going to pay the PC's to kill it). They kill three and take the leader captive, and go to the base after beating its location out of him. The base is a pretty basic stockade around a cave, and they can sort of see the manticore wandering around inside the base. The bard makes a knowledge check to recognize it, rolls a 1, and ends up thinking it's some form of magically mutated sheep.
Our plan is to lure it out by using the rebel leader as bait, then Glitterdust it and bumrush it. My character buffs himself, and ends up with an AC of around 26. Manticore comes out, we Glitterdust it and it's now blind. My character engages it in melee while the other three circle around and look for an opening/shoot at it. So, I've got a pretty absurdly high AC, and the manticore is blind (50% miss chance). I attack, and roll a one. I trip, provoking an attack of opportunity. The manticore's attack of opportunity is a critical; there go half my hitpoints. Then it's the manticore's turn; it attacks and gets another critical hit. Yep. Two natural twenties in a row, and my overconfident warcerer is down into negative hitpoints, and the other three have to rush in and save me. The whole point of having a DMPC with the new guys was to bail them out if I had to, and they ended up saving my butt after I got mauled by a manticore.

[martixy]

I'm DMing a small group right now, so I have a DMPC that helps fill out the party. We've got a level 6 paladin/bard, a level 6 warlock/stalwart battle sorcerer (me), a level 5 homebrewed fighter type, and a level 5 duskblade; the other three are all new players. They're riding through the forest, and they see someone hiding in the bushes. They shout, he doesn't immediately respond, so being PC's they immediately shoot at him. They end up fighting him and his three pals, who were supposed to be a plothook (they're rebels, but their base is under attack by a manticore and they were going to pay the PC's to kill it). They kill three and take the leader captive, and go to the base after beating its location out of him. The base is a pretty basic stockade around a cave, and they can sort of see the manticore wandering around inside the base. The bard makes a knowledge check to recognize it, rolls a 1, and ends up thinking it's some form of magically mutated sheep.
Our plan is to lure it out by using the rebel leader as bait, then Glitterdust it and bumrush it. My character buffs himself, and ends up with an AC of around 26. Manticore comes out, we Glitterdust it and it's now blind. My character engages it in melee while the other three circle around and look for an opening/shoot at it. So, I've got a pretty absurdly high AC, and the manticore is blind (50% miss chance). I attack, and roll a one. I trip, provoking an attack of opportunity. The manticore's attack of opportunity is a critical; there go half my hitpoints. Then it's the manticore's turn; it attacks and gets another critical hit. Yep. Two natural twenties in a row, and my overconfident warcerer is down into negative hitpoints, and the other three have to rush in and save me. The whole point of having a DMPC with the new guys was to bail them out if I had to, and they ended up saving my butt after I got mauled by a manticore.


I shudder at the thought of your idea of a large group.

Also, you can't threaten a creature that has total concealment(as is the case here). So the manticore couldn't have made its AoO.
There are things I'd like to say about fumbles as well, but I'll refrain in this instance.

Although given that it also had to succeed on 2 50% miss chance rolls + a confirm vs high AC, it's safe to say you just were terribly unlucky anyway.

[Malimar]

Last night, I set up a variation of the hoary old "one door always lies, the other always tells the truth" puzzle. In this case, "Two doors always lie, two always tell the truth, one does one or the other depending on its whim". The doors answer one question per round, and the longer the party takes, the more vampire spawns they have to deal with.

Cue the players asking "Can we use Sense Motive on the doors?"

In the end, due to a Sense Motive modifier in the +20 range, they successfully Sensed two of the doors' Motives, making the puzzle a bit easier than originally intended.

[Droopy McCool]

Lots o' stuff.

This is great! While I find this humorous, this sticks out as more of a great game moment overall. The best times are when nutty situations happen and the PCs have even nuttier reactions.

No one particular moment to add, but I do remember one campaign had a dwarf barbarian PC named Peanut. Peanut was named for his oblong head, and had a 3 Charisma. He only ever communicated in grunts or screams, and it took a DC 15 Spot check to notice he was in the room. Walked in and out of several enemy hideouts unnoticed!

McCool

[Bobby Baratheon]

I shudder at the thought of your idea of a large group.

Also, you can't threaten a creature that has total concealment(as is the case here). So the manticore couldn't have made its AoO.
There are things I'd like to say about fumbles as well, but I'll refrain in this instance.

Although given that it also had to succeed on 2 50% miss chance rolls + a confirm vs high AC, it's safe to say you just were terribly unlucky anyway.

I don't universally enforce fumble rules, and in this case I granted the AoO for a couple of reasons. One, the Manticore was already aware of my general vicinity and was flailing wildly, so it was more of my tripping into it rather than it sensing me falling and taking a swipe. Second is this: Manticores have scent, and
If it moves within 5 feet of the scent’s source, the creature can pinpoint that source. I was standing right next to it. Also, I'm not really looking to start a RAW-fu contest here. Just giving the justifications for what I did. I was a little more punitive with the fumble because it was my character, and I'm willing to take a (literal) dive to add a little entertainment to an otherwise easy battle. In my campaigns, a natural 1 is usually just an automatic miss with an amusing description.

EDIT: Is four people (counting DM) not a small group :? I'm more used to groups of 5-7.

[Inevitability]

EDIT: Is four people (counting DM) not a small group :? I'm more used to groups of 5-7.

I believe a group of 4-5 people is considered average, both by game designers and players.

[TheNivMizzet]

I apologise in advance for spelling errors, autocorrect on phone and I'm in a lecture.
Last weeks pathfinder session we had come together as a new group, a young sea dragon, a blood rager, a slayer and my vampire ninja. We had been given ranked determined by our performance in the fight vs a froghemoth. Our slayer decided to rank up by fighting the quartermaster, who was a 10HD human duelist. They fought to 0hp, and our slayer lost, it was close, but the parry ability was too strong. My vamp steps up to defend the groups honour and I offer to not use my new +1 greataxe. He declined the use of my level draining fists, and proceeded to wail on me with a mithril rapier. I let him for a few turns, healing the damage that gets through the DR. Then i took his head off. He couldn't have killed me unless he crit 11 times in a row.

[Fuzzy McCoy]

A good one came from a 3.5 Eberron game. I was playing a multiclassed "paladin" with decently high everything, when our party was surrounded by Lady Vol and her minions. She had been interested in us for a while, and we had managed to avoid her to the point she actually was annoyed and started committing resources to capturing us. So when she surrounded us, there were a couple vampire clerics plus other assorted minions in addition to Lady Vol herself. It's clear we're outgunned, outmanned, and outclassed. So of course, when Lady Vol says "Surrender!", I casually reply with "You wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept!". The whole table bursts out laughing for a good 5 minutes at my perfectly timed quote of the Princess Bride.




My favorite recent story by far comes from one of my 5e games. I'm playing a wood elf monk, and am one of the tankier characters due to some excellent rolls during chargen. However, I'm focusing on dex and wis over strength. Our party is exploring a dungeon of a necromancer, and we encounter some stairs that are the only way left to go. Of course there's a baddie throwing rocks down at us. We don't know what kind, or how many rocks it has, but we need to get up these stairs. So we're hiding, discussing our course of action, when I say screw it and run up the stairs.

We weren't very high level, but I move up the stairs and use my bonus action to dash the rest of the way (via ki points), dodging a boulder, and find a zombie ogre at the top of the stairs. It's behind a half wall that it's using as cover, so I tell my DM that I want to jump up on the half wall, grab the zombie, and pull it over the wall and on to the stairs. Now, I have a history of rolling badly on d20s, generally at the worst possible moment. Doesn't matter whose d20 it is, if it's a critical moment, I'm sure to critically fail. So pretty much everyone around the table is expecting this to fail hilariously. Plus my DM asks for three d20 rolls: a dex one to hit the landing just so, a strength one to pull the zombie over the wall, and another dex to land on top.

So I start my rolling, and for once, luck is with me! I nail the landing, I roll high and the zombie rolls super low for the strength check, and I manage to come out on top. Over the next couple of rounds, I surf down the stairs on top of my rather uncooperative zombie, while the rest of the party recovers from their shock that I actually managed to pull this off and come help me kill this thing. What was supposed to be this incredibly hard fight was neatly sidestepped as I discovered the joys of zombie surfing.

[Val666]

Was Dming, homebrew setting with some things from Eberron and Prime. Homebrew classes which one was Master of Puppets. He used one of his puppets to attack but the Master had poor bab, nearly no str and they where fighting a Barbarian/Frenzied Berserker boss with a Homebrew mask that buffed him. 2 other players at negatives, puppets destroyed, it is the Master's turn:

Master: "I attack the boss with my dagger"
-rolls 20, confirm, rolls 20, confirm vorpal, rolls 20

I closed my DMscreen and left my own house with a wave of screams behind me. From that day, that player always carry a dagger with a V from Vorpal inscribed on it.

The same party had fame for destroying nearly all the cities they went to. Same player got a magic item which infused bodies with a toxic mineral and other stuff:

Me: "You look behind you and find a hole in the air (reality)"

Master of puppets: "I look through the hole"

Me: "You see giant tentacled monsters, madnees itself incarnated, twisting forms howling because of pain and you feel "your magic item" is vibrating"

MoP: "I tap it"

Me: "a link is formed with the hole"

MoP: "I tap it again"

Me: "The hole grows"

Some taps latter the Holy City of Aurora was destroyed by monsters from Xoriat.

[martixy]

EDIT: Is four people (counting DM) not a small group :? I'm more used to groups of 5-7.
You listed 4 characters by class/level then said "the other three".
7 players is not a small group where I come from.

Val666 reminded my of a story of my own.

So, there we are, facing a Balor as a (I think) level 13-14 party(a ranged scout, a wizard, a warlock and a swordsage).

Things are going great and the beastie is losing. He's bleeding bad. Dead within a round for sure.
You remember what scouts do? Main feature is skirmish. To benefit from it however you need to move. Well our scout moved. He wanted extra damage to finish him. Right out of the circle of protection from evil. Straight into domination by the Balor. He then turns around and the balor says shoot that guy, miffed at the hellfire warlock for successfully burning him despite his supposed immunity to fire(and possibly being one-upped at fiendery by him).
Roll - 20. "Damn". Confirm - 20. We're "Oh sh**, no forking way" at the table by this point. Confirm vorpal - whaddya know, 20 again. There goes the warlock. Tables get flipped and everybody collectively goes apesh**.

[ComaVision]

1. What's with the two confirmation rolls for Vorpal?
2. You had a Vorpal bow?

[martixy]

1. What's with the two confirmation rolls for Vorpal?
2. You had a Vorpal bow?

Similar to Val666, our group played with, as you will notice, one of the most hilarious house-rules in existence: three nat20s = instagib.

[ComaVision]

three nat20s = instagib.

Ah, OK. I'm surprised with how popular that houserule is. Every time it has happened in a RL game, I've had to explain that it's not actually a rule.

[martixy]

Ah, OK. I'm surprised with how popular that houserule is. Every time it has happened in a RL game, I've had to explain that it's not actually a rule.

I have no idea why you'd be surprised. It's rare enough(in an intuitively obvious manner) that nobody feels slighted when it occurs, but is when it does, it's invariably incredibly hilarious and/or dramatic.

[Hamste]

You listed 4 characters by class/level then said "the other three".
7 players is not a small group where I come from.

They probably meant the other players as in the three players and themselves with themselves not being new to the game.

[martixy]

They probably meant the other players as in the three players and themselves with themselves not being new to the game.

That does probably make more sense..........

[GreyBlack]

I had a Duskblade to drop a BBEG off a zeppelin.

[Malimar]

I had a Duskblade to drop a BBEG off a zeppelin.

I had a rakshasa drop the party's barbarian off a flying casino in Sharn. The barbarian lived; the rakshasa did not.

[Reprimand]

I had a rakshasa drop the party's barbarian off a flying casino in Sharn. The barbarian lived; the rakshasa did not.

I was playing a beguiler that had access to flight. I was fighting a bugbear sorcerer for the longest time in the air while both of us were taking turns flying up and he kept hitting me when I realized, "oh wait this is stupid I have dispel magic..."

I instantly dispelled his flight spell he promptly fell to his doom. I left to use the bathroom when I came back the group had decided that I earned a bonus feat from that.

Weapon Specialization: Gravity.

[Bobby Baratheon]

You listed 4 characters by class/level then said "the other three".
7 players is not a small group where I come from.

Whoops. I meant the three other than me (ie the duskblade, bard and fighter). My bad.

[Inevitability]

The party was participating in a game where a group of warriors had to prove their worth. Essentially, everyone was given a magic dagger (enchanted to deal no damage) and had to hit other participants to remove them from the game.

The party does reasonably well at first (well, apart from the cleric who figured leaving cover and charging ahead was a sensible thing to do) but after some bad rolls only the halfling ranger is left.

One of the other participants, a pixie, has proved almost impossible to hit, and the halfling is getting annoyed. So what does he do? He commands his wolf to attack.

One crit later, the pixie is bleeding to death on the ground. The ranger calmly walks over, taps it with his dagger, and performs first aid.


He won the game.

[ImSAMazing]

The party was participating in a game where a group of warriors had to prove their worth. Essentially, everyone was given a magic dagger (enchanted to deal no damage) and had to hit other participants to remove them from the game.

The party does reasonably well at first (well, apart from the cleric who figured leaving cover and charging ahead was a sensible thing to do) but after some bad rolls only the halfling ranger is left.

One of the other participants, a pixie, has proved almost impossible to hit, and the halfling is getting annoyed. So what does he do? He commands his wolf to attack.

One crit later, the pixie is bleeding to death on the ground. The ranger calmly walks over, taps it with his dagger, and performs first aid.


He won the game.
That is in NO way how it went.

He allied with the Pixie, then killed the others, then backstabbed the Pixie. With his own dagger.

[TheBrassDuke]

Off the top rope and through a table??

Last session, we were having a discussion about the way Pathfinder vampires differ in their weaknesses from "classic" vampires or whatever. Specifically, there's no stake-through-the-heart weakness on a PF vamp. But I tell the guys, I always liked that weakness. So if you pick up a stake- an actual stake, not a sliver of wood or a crossbow bolt- and want to try an attack roll, you hit the heart on a nat 20. Otherwise, no effect whatsoever and the stake is destroyed. Basically, it was supposed to be a way to automatically kill a sleeping vamp if you found his grave during the day.

Long story short, the party's halfling ninja grabbed a stake in each hand and one lucky roll later, no more vampire boss battle. :P

A stake through the heart to a sleeping/resting Vampire is a coup de grâce attempt, since the creature is completely helpless...why do they need a natural 20? Two Criticals in a row, confirmed, is already an auto-kill during combat, so~

I like that it's challenging, but there's my two cents.

[Hamste]

A stake through the heart to a sleeping/resting Vampire is a coup de grâce attempt, since the creature is completely helpless...why do they need a natural 20? Two Criticals in a row, confirmed, is already an auto-kill during combat, so~

I like that it's challenging, but there's my two cents.

I think the idea is that you can instant kill one if you roll a natural 20 with the stake in any situation. The DM just thought people would only use it on a resting vampire as it is guaranteed to kill it (as it is always a crit). The ranger instead decided to use it in combat anyways and managed to get a 20. Seems like the natural way to kill any extremely strong vampire though. Everyone dual-wield stakes, get 8 attacks per turn with a four person party and it is not like damage or accuracy matters. More than a 50% chance to kill the vampire in two turns. If the vampire is a boss there is a good chance it was designed in a way to make it last more than 2 turns making this a pretty good deal.

[TheBrassDuke]

I think the idea is that you can instant kill one if you roll a natural 20 with the stake in any situation. The DM just thought people would only use it on a resting vampire as it is guaranteed to kill it (as it is always a crit). The ranger instead decided to use it in combat anyways and managed to get a 20. Seems like the natural way to kill any extremely strong vampire though. Everyone dual-wield stakes, get 8 attacks per turn with a four person party and it is not like damage or accuracy matters. More than a 50% chance to kill the vampire in two turns. If the vampire is a boss there is a good chance it was designed in a way to make it last more than 2 turns making this a pretty good deal.

I must be confused. This happened during combat, and not on a sleeping vampire? Because I can see this being cool during combat, but deferring back to my original reply when confronting a helpless vampire.

[erok0809]

The party was participating in a game where a group of warriors had to prove their worth. Essentially, everyone was given a magic dagger (enchanted to deal no damage) and had to hit other participants to remove them from the game.

The party does reasonably well at first (well, apart from the cleric who figured leaving cover and charging ahead was a sensible thing to do) but after some bad rolls only the halfling ranger is left.

One of the other participants, a pixie, has proved almost impossible to hit, and the halfling is getting annoyed. So what does he do? He commands his wolf to attack.

One crit later, the pixie is bleeding to death on the ground. The ranger calmly walks over, taps it with his dagger, and performs first aid.


He won the game.

I'm definitely adapting this idea for my game, this sounds like a ton of fun!

[martixy]

I'm definitely adapting this idea for my game, this sounds like a ton of fun!

Are you referring to heroic tests and trials and arena combat?
In which case I must ask - have you never played literally any of the old Bioware games? Baldur's Gate had it, Kotor had it, Jade Empire had it, Origins had it, probably all the others, though I don't remember each instance of the top of my head.

[erok0809]

Are you referring to heroic tests and trials and arena combat?
In which case I must ask - have you never played literally any of the old Bioware games? Baldur's Gate had it, Kotor had it, Jade Empire had it, Origins had it, probably all the others, though I don't remember each instance of the top of my head.

Out of that list, I've played Dragon Age: Origins, assuming that that's what Origins meant. If not, probably none of those, although I've heard of all of them. Baldur's Gate came out when I was 5, so I was a bit young for that when it came out, and never went back for it. I actually do have KotOR, but it kept crashing when I bought it years ago, so I gave up on it. I've done arena combat and things like that in my game, but that was mostly fights to the death, between the party and one or two enemies. I'm thinking like a free for all with like 15-20 people for this, where it's pretty chaotic, plus it's a nonlethal contest (ideally) which will throw my mostly murderhobo party for a loop.

[Hamste]

I must be confused. This happened during combat, and not on a sleeping vampire? Because I can see this being cool during combat, but deferring back to my original reply when confronting a helpless vampire.

It is possible that the boss battle started with the vampire in its coffin but it seems like a strange way to start one. I think the sleeping part was to give context to what the DM was thinking not what happened when they made the rule. Particularly, seeing they used the word automatically when describing killing the sleeping vampire.

Though maybe the original poster will clarify what exactly they meant. Could be misinterpreting.

[TheBrassDuke]

It is possible that the boss battle started with the vampire in its coffin but it seems like a strange way to start one. I think the sleeping part was to give context to what the DM was thinking not what happened when they made the rule. Particularly, seeing they used the word automatically when describing killing the sleeping vampire.

Though maybe the original poster will clarify what exactly they meant. Could be misinterpreting.

You're probably right, but boy is it confusing.

We once had an encounter with a vampire who was...afraid of the dark. He slept during the night and daytime, and would only roam about during the early morning and evening hours, while it was still light but the sun was gone.

The amusing part was when we kept him running well into the night, he assumed gaseous form and eventually stopped somewhere to hide.

We were led to him by the screams as he resumed his physical form. Surrounded the creature and took turns berating him for what he'd done to the villagers and then one of our members bullied him for being so bad at being a monster. The vampire killed itself afterwards.

[atemu1234]

I had a group of people (I DM) who were all running pretty high-op character builds. So, they are level 18, one cleric, two Arcane Hierophants, an evil bard (chromium dragon heritage, so its DF Inspiration is force), an Elan Psion Uncarnate, and finally, a Rogue/Assassin with a cloak of blink (TWF build with initiative boosts, so he usually deals 100+ damage per round and doesn't feel too left out).

They are facing a dragon. A vampire dragon, who through Ur-Priest and Dispassionate Watcher of Chronepsis, is a CR 21 encounter that has access to ninth-level cleric spells.

First round is surprise, because the dragon swooped down from the ceiling, and it uses blasphemy.

Everyone but the bard is paralyzed, it looks like the end of the campaign basically, when the bard utters some very choice words.

"I roll to seduce the dragon."

Some rules from either Quintessential Temptress or BoEF, and they wind up succeeding. The dragon kidnaps takes them to its roost, basically a large cave 300+ feet up a wall.

That alone saved them all from certain destruction, and the party lives to see another day. The dragon is killed, and we all had a good time.

[RolkFlameraven]

I was playing a beguiler that had access to flight. I was fighting a bugbear sorcerer for the longest time in the air while both of us were taking turns flying up and he kept hitting me when I realized, "oh wait this is stupid I have dispel magic..."

I instantly dispelled his flight spell he promptly fell to his doom. I left to use the bathroom when I came back the group had decided that I earned a bonus feat from that.

Weapon Specialization: Gravity.

As fun as this is, and how much sense it makes... Fly doesn't work that way. Dispelling it give a 1D6 60' feather fall effect, stupid I know but there ya go.

Maybe that needs to go into the 'forgotten rules' thread?

[Rijan_Sai]

As fun as this is, and how much sense it makes... Fly doesn't work that way. Dispelling it give a 1D6 60' feather fall effect, stupid I know but there ya go.

Maybe that needs to go into the 'forgotten rules' thread?

True, but if they were higher then *calculates* (1d6/10 feet, max 20d6 = 200 ft + 60ft Feather Fall effect for 1d6 rounds, max 6 rounds = 360ft...) should be 560ft, then the bugbear would still take the max 20d6 falling damage. (Which seems possible due to them spending several rounds "taking turns flying up...")
-----------------------------------------
Edit: Just remembered a couple of fun times! Both from the same (completely non-serious, just for G's & S's type game;)
1) Early on, my half-orc barbarian and my (now) brother-in-law's gnome bard were walking through a marketplace, when we came across a particular vendor. I proceeded to make some rolls to distract the vendor, (basically very loud and obnoxious negotiation over some random item,) while he went behind the stall and basically one-arm swept everything into a bag and took off! (Got some good move silently and sleight-of-hand rolls!)

2) Later that evening, his character was trying to woo the mayor's daughter (going the traditional serenade from the road while she looks on from the window route,) but was interrupted by me running at top speed, grabbing him and taking off out of town as fast as half-ocrly possible. We got away just in time to see most of the town explode! (And catch sight of of something flying away that I... may have accidentally let loose from the earlier treasure haul... mostly random mundane items, with one peculiar looking bottle (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#efreetiBottle) that I just had to open!)

[Inevitability]

I had a group of people (I DM) who were all running pretty high-op character builds. So, they are level 18, one cleric, two Arcane Hierophants, an evil bard (chromium dragon heritage, so its DF Inspiration is force), an Elan Psion Uncarnate, and finally, a Rogue/Assassin with a cloak of blink (TWF build with initiative boosts, so he usually deals 100+ damage per round and doesn't feel too left out).

They are facing a dragon. A vampire dragon, who through Ur-Priest and Dispassionate Watcher of Chronepsis, is a CR 21 encounter that has access to ninth-level cleric spells.

First round is surprise, because the dragon swooped down from the ceiling, and it uses blasphemy.

Everyone but the bard is paralyzed, it looks like the end of the campaign basically, when the bard utters some very choice words.

"I roll to seduce the dragon."

Some rules from either Quintessential Temptress or BoEF, and they wind up succeeding. The dragon kidnaps takes them to its roost, basically a large cave 300+ feet up a wall.

That alone saved them all from certain destruction, and the party lives to see another day. The dragon is killed, and we all had a good time.

Don't chromium dragons have a cold breath weapon? Perhaps you were thinking of cobalt dragons?

[RolkFlameraven]

True, but if they were higher then *calculates* (1d6/10 feet, max 20d6 = 200 ft + 60ft Feather Fall effect for 1d6 rounds, max 6 rounds = 360ft...) should be 560ft, then the bugbear would still take the max 20d6 falling damage. (Which seems possible due to them spending several rounds "taking turns flying up...")

True enough, though 'promptly' doesn't indicate such but that could just be my inference.

[TheYell]

Was Call of Cthulhu but still one of my favorites:

DM: On the altar is a gold chalice. On the chalice in curlicued letters is the Roman word for Love.

Me: Which one? Caritas or Amor?

Ron: Agape.

DM: ...Shut up.

[ZxxZ]

Our Cleric decided to renounce his God and found his own religion. We were being payed by the kingdom to effectively be an inquisition so that doubles the comedy effect of a Cleric powering his divine spells ofc of the undying faith of approximately 30 hobos squatting outside an elven city.

[Slayer Lord]

This was flat out one of our best campaigns, but this incident in particular stands out. Our party is a an elven ranger, a human homebrew barbarian, a mute halfling bard, a human wizard with an alchemy fixation, and a human paladin (me). Our passenger airship got boarded by a flying castle, and to make a long story short our party got trapped inside. We fight our way through with fairly typical dungeon fare. We sneak up to the boss door, which is guarded by a couple of leveled hobgoblins. We overhear them complaining about their boss, and then we walk up and talked them into joining us instead. Enter the boss room: Our DM had this hard encounter involving a mindflayer and his Brain in a Jar boss. I win initiative and pummel the Flayer into submission with a maxed Power Attack + Holy Longsword combo, almost one shotting him. Then the BiaJ comes out of hiding and rants for a bit before out barbarian got bored and promptly chucked him out the window. When we got back to the surface, we saw the hobgoblins off to start a life of honest work.

That campaign ended with us needing to defeat an evil elf king barricaded in a heavily guarded castle with a bunch of high level clerics as his bodyguards. We wound up wrangling a couple of giant worms to tunnel us into the basement and break into the kitchen. Then our ranger remembered some nightshade she had been carrying the entire campaign, and we poisoned the king and his posse with a batch of poisonous muffins.

[TheCrowing1432]

Our party gelded Tony the Tiger.

Our dm had us face a weretiger in the hybrid form, where its a humanoid tiger right?

I immedatly declare that this enemys name is tony to which the rest of the table agrees.

The dm describes the tiger as wearing nothing but a loincloth, which actually is a pretty good target.

So our dusk blade goes in front of him and smacks him with shocking grasp channeled through his sword right?

Thing is, the attack only did a small amount of damage so the dm says his chest was nicked.

Being the weirdo that I am, I say "And the electricity from the shocking grasp makes his nipples erect"

(im not actually the DM, but I tend to make colorful commentary)

So, next up is the rogue he is focusing on throwing weapons, he has a meteor knife. So he expends all three charges and throws it....rolling a crit.

This time, the DM decides to be weird and says "Your knife plunges into the loincloth of the weretiger, it gives an agonizing high pitched squeak before it falls over dead"

And.....thats the story of how we killed Tony the Weretiger by gelding him.