Forum Explorer
2016-02-27, 01:24 AM
The kender. Small, annoying, a pest upon the world, being who should be wiped out and yet somehow seem to thrive despite living in a world that hates them, is full of danger, and they have a complete lack of survival instinct.
How does this come about? Are they favored by the gods, protected by a higher power, are they a Mary Sue race and survive only by DM/Author Fiat?
No, I say. Their survival, and indeed their thriving is only logical. If anything, the gods cursed them severe ADD and suicidal tendencies to keep them in check.
How so? Simple.
They are a race that consists entirely of PCs.
Every kender goes adventuring, and they start at a young age. They go through level appropriate encounters (dodging town guard) as they level up. They take whatever possessions of NPCs that they desire (as any good PC would do), they have a total disrespect of authority, a locked door is seen more as an invitation then an obstacle, and they actively seek out dangers and quests for the fun of it.
In what way are they not the typical player character?
So here you have a race of level 10-15 rogues/bards/fighters in a world of 1-6 mostly mundanes. That is why they survive and thrive in such a dangerous world. They are simply grossly overleveled in comparison to most of it. You want proof? Okay. In the War of the Lance, the only Dragon Highlord slain by non-main characters, was killed by kender. The weakest one, sure. But they didn't just slay the Highlord, they also completely drove out the dragonarmies. An army of draconians, goblins, and hobgoblins defeated by mere kender.
And that's not the only time.
In Dragons of a Summer Flame, the army of blue barbarians are ordered to exterminate the kender species altogether. What happens? The kender survive. An invincible army that had so far defeated the Knights, conquered the entire world, and had dragons backing them up failed in their primary objective. The kender apparently put up such a fierce fight that the Dark Knights decided that it was better to keep them alive. That's right, they put up a bigger fight then the humans, elves, and dwarves put together.
And the world has adapted appropriately.
The guards don't bother to keep kender jailed, they just escort them out of town after 24 hours because they know that they'll simply break out of jail if they try and keep them. Towns may ban kender from entering, but they don't try and force them out when they inevitably sneak in. And if a kender steals something, he isn't punished, they just take the item back. Why? Cause they know they'll lose the fight.
Okay, so why does this matter? The kender can't think straight, and are more or less harmless. Sure they're a nuisance, but what can you do right?
You can prepare for the oncoming doom that's what. For now, in the Age of Mortals, a new breed of kender has arisen. A breed that is not suicidal in tendency. A breed that can stay focused and doesn't act like giddy school children. A breed that wants revenge. Yes, I speak of the one and only, 'Afflicted Kender'.
So warn your friends! It's not too late to stop them while their numbers are still small! Or perhaps you can find a way to restore the curse that keeps the ordinary kender in line. But if you wait, your time will run out, and soon these kender will take over. So spread the word, keep a wary eye out, and always remember, the kender are much more dangerous then they look.
I think I just came up with the best Dragonlance campaign ever.
How does this come about? Are they favored by the gods, protected by a higher power, are they a Mary Sue race and survive only by DM/Author Fiat?
No, I say. Their survival, and indeed their thriving is only logical. If anything, the gods cursed them severe ADD and suicidal tendencies to keep them in check.
How so? Simple.
They are a race that consists entirely of PCs.
Every kender goes adventuring, and they start at a young age. They go through level appropriate encounters (dodging town guard) as they level up. They take whatever possessions of NPCs that they desire (as any good PC would do), they have a total disrespect of authority, a locked door is seen more as an invitation then an obstacle, and they actively seek out dangers and quests for the fun of it.
In what way are they not the typical player character?
So here you have a race of level 10-15 rogues/bards/fighters in a world of 1-6 mostly mundanes. That is why they survive and thrive in such a dangerous world. They are simply grossly overleveled in comparison to most of it. You want proof? Okay. In the War of the Lance, the only Dragon Highlord slain by non-main characters, was killed by kender. The weakest one, sure. But they didn't just slay the Highlord, they also completely drove out the dragonarmies. An army of draconians, goblins, and hobgoblins defeated by mere kender.
And that's not the only time.
In Dragons of a Summer Flame, the army of blue barbarians are ordered to exterminate the kender species altogether. What happens? The kender survive. An invincible army that had so far defeated the Knights, conquered the entire world, and had dragons backing them up failed in their primary objective. The kender apparently put up such a fierce fight that the Dark Knights decided that it was better to keep them alive. That's right, they put up a bigger fight then the humans, elves, and dwarves put together.
And the world has adapted appropriately.
The guards don't bother to keep kender jailed, they just escort them out of town after 24 hours because they know that they'll simply break out of jail if they try and keep them. Towns may ban kender from entering, but they don't try and force them out when they inevitably sneak in. And if a kender steals something, he isn't punished, they just take the item back. Why? Cause they know they'll lose the fight.
Okay, so why does this matter? The kender can't think straight, and are more or less harmless. Sure they're a nuisance, but what can you do right?
You can prepare for the oncoming doom that's what. For now, in the Age of Mortals, a new breed of kender has arisen. A breed that is not suicidal in tendency. A breed that can stay focused and doesn't act like giddy school children. A breed that wants revenge. Yes, I speak of the one and only, 'Afflicted Kender'.
So warn your friends! It's not too late to stop them while their numbers are still small! Or perhaps you can find a way to restore the curse that keeps the ordinary kender in line. But if you wait, your time will run out, and soon these kender will take over. So spread the word, keep a wary eye out, and always remember, the kender are much more dangerous then they look.
I think I just came up with the best Dragonlance campaign ever.