Romancing A Paladin of Iomedae

[Palanan]

I've just swapped characters in our low-level campaign, and our DM decided my new guy would be introduced to the party by way of rescue from a band of gripplis. The first party member he saw was a golden-eyed, golden-haired aasimar in gleaming armor, the very image of a champion of Iomedae.

Since my character's backstory began with his reputation as a wastrel and a rake, it was only natural he should be smitten with more than usual fervor. He knows he's out of his league--his ordinary tricks and charm won't work here--but that only makes him all the more determined to woo her. In between fighting drow, fey and bullywugs, he's wracking his brains trying to come up with a winning approach.

Alas, attending her sermons and reviewing the Eleven Acts of Iomedae isn't quite enough, and he's getting a strong message that she's too committed to her mission to spend time on dallying. What can he do to change her mind?

[Segev]

Well, if her most important thing right now is a mission, the first thing to do to show you care is to help her with it. Learn about it, if you don't yet know it, and then help and support her in it. You can be honest that you are doing it for her more than for the sake of her mission, itself. But don't be crass or uptight about it. Don't belittle the mission.

Spend time with her on things that interest her. Arrange opportunities for her to pursue her mission on which you can accompany her. And, perhaps, find out if she's interested in anything else, and look into gifts or activities you can offer along those lines.

Basically, find excuses to spend time with her. Be helpful and supportive. And do be witty and charming and what-have-you; you want her to enjoy your company while you're helping her out. But don't expect that to be "all" it takes; instead, simply be a friend and companion she wants to spend time with and is glad is along. Let her know that you are smitten, but, since she seems not to respond to that, don't harp on it. Just be there, and make sure she's aware that your friendship is not conditional, but that you do hope for something more.



...this from somebody who has no girlfriend and isn't married, so take it for what it's worth. ^^;

[Geddy2112]

She is literally too concerned with the mission, even if she likes your character.

Paladins of Iomedae are pretty tough targets to date. Most members of the church are often too wrapped up with duty to get married, as making a commitment to another romantically would get in the way of their duty and whatnot. Iomedae does not approve of couples having children when one or both parents is at extreme risk of death through battle, and annulments, separations, and estrangements are common in the church, as duty>marriage. This often leaves widows and widowers.

When the faithful do get married, it is a private, stoic ceremony where vows are exchanged. It happens, but these vows must never contradict duty. Also, there is no marrying anyone outside of the church, so you are gonna have to convert at some point.

So even if the pally likes you, they won't do a damn thing about it so long as duty calls. General charm and romantic gestures will at best be received indifferently, at worst seen as stupid, a waste of time, or even lecherous. Iomedae's faithful will see those who do their duty, act honorably, and have a great sense of moral and legal justice as attractive. Keep your word, be dedicated to the cause(whatever your quest is), and do other actions that Iomedae would like. In turn, she will like you.

Or find a paladin of Shelyn. Beautiful AND encouraged by their deity to form romantic relationships. Also, in my not so humble opinion, Iomedae is a total jerk and her paladins often come off the same. A pally of Sarenrae or Shelyn is going to be a more understand relationship partner. You slip up once and an Iomidae follower is going to rail you, while pallys of the NG gods are much more forgiving.

[Elder_Basilisk]

Well can she do better than your character? If so, she probably will. Pick up someone who is in your league instead. The prom queen only goes out with the loser chess geek in movies. If your character is the loser chess geek then he should set his sights a bit lower--maybe that chick from the color guard instead (to extend the high school metaphor).

If you decide that you really are in her league--well then be someone she could admire. Do something impressive. Stand up to an ogre one on one. Kill a dragon. If she sees you as someone she admires, then attraction could come. Don't be someone she will have contempt for. And since she's clearly a principled character, don't be someone who she wouldn't consider because you're an obviously immoral SOB. The classical male paladin wouldn't take up with the town mattress no matter how attractive she were--she's used goods and bad news. Likewise, your character can pull all the tricks to make her attracted to you, but if she is as she appears, it won't matter if you have placed yourself beyond the pale. Picking up on the Acts of Iomedae and hanging around her like a dumb puppy is more likely to get your character friendzoned than attached.

Also, if she's another PC... talk to the player first and be prepared to let that aspect of your character slide if the other player is not comfortable with it. It could be that the player wants that kind of attention by proxy (I suspect that a lot of guys play attractive female PCs for that reason), but the player could see it as icky and not want to deal with that in game. (It's also entirely possible that both of those are true at the same time).

[Psyren]

I've just swapped characters in our low-level campaign, and our DM decided my new guy would be introduced to the party by way of rescue from a band of gripplis. The first party member he saw was a golden-eyed, golden-haired aasimar in gleaming armor, the very image of a champion of Iomedae.

Iomedae is a brunette fyi :smallbiggrin:


Well, if her most important thing right now is a mission, the first thing to do to show you care is to help her with it. Learn about it, if you don't yet know it, and then help and support her in it. You can be honest that you are doing it for her more than for the sake of her mission, itself. But don't be crass or uptight about it. Don't belittle the mission.

Spend time with her on things that interest her. Arrange opportunities for her to pursue her mission on which you can accompany her. And, perhaps, find out if she's interested in anything else, and look into gifts or activities you can offer along those lines.

Basically, find excuses to spend time with her. Be helpful and supportive. And do be witty and charming and what-have-you; you want her to enjoy your company while you're helping her out. But don't expect that to be "all" it takes; instead, simply be a friend and companion she wants to spend time with and is glad is along. Let her know that you are smitten, but, since she seems not to respond to that, don't harp on it. Just be there, and make sure she's aware that your friendship is not conditional, but that you do hope for something more.



...this from somebody who has no girlfriend and isn't married, so take it for what it's worth. ^^;

Great stuff here.



Or find a paladin of Shelyn. Beautiful AND encouraged by their deity to form romantic relationships. Also, in my not so humble opinion, Iomedae is a total jerk and her paladins often come off the same. A pally of Sarenrae or Shelyn is going to be a more understand relationship partner. You slip up once and an Iomidae follower is going to rail you, while pallys of the NG gods are much more forgiving.

Rather than throw in the towel, I'd do a twist on this bit - find a cleric of Shelyn, and ask him/her (preferably her) for advice. They are expert matchmakers and stalwart allies of the Inheritor. Not only will they, in-universe, give you all kinds of good advice about wooing in general, such a cleric would also have high Religion scores to help you best align your advances with your paramour's mission and goals. This also gets the GM into the action as they roleplay the sassy friend/wing(wo)man.

[Thealtruistorc]

There are...other ways to make a paladin take notice of you. How evil are you willing to get and how tenacious are you with distorted reasoning? Give me some time and this lass won't remain a paladin for long.

[atemu1234]

Ehh... Time to break up a bit of the... problematic elements here.

One: Clear it with your DM if you want a romance subplot. Those can throw wrenches into the works of most plotlines.

Two: Help them with their quest. That will hopefully be enough.

Three: Don't be evil.

[Nibbens]

One: Clear it with your DM if you want a romance subplot. Those can throw wrenches into the works of most plotlines.

Please please please please this! Also (and more importantly) make sure you clear this with the player of the character first before you even approach the DM, although I agree that both must be done at some point.

If the player in question says no, well, you get the idea.

[Coidzor]

After taking care of the whole DM and other player bit is out of the way...

Step 1 is establish that you're a badass with your priorities straight and able to contribute to the party.

Step 2 is to show you understand and support her mission.

Step 3 is to be invaluable in accomplishing it while remaining badass and sexy.


When the faithful do get married, it is a private, stoic ceremony where vows are exchanged. It happens, but these vows must never contradict duty. Also, there is no marrying anyone outside of the church, so you are gonna have to convert at some point.

...

That alone explains so much about why Iomedae is so bad at being "The Inheritor."

[Gnorman]

From an in-game perspective: It sounds to me like your character is in love with a concept, not a person. He'll need to ask himself if he's really in love with this paladin as a person, or because of what she represents (A challenge? A moral counterpoint?). And his attempts to "woo" her despite her heavily implied non-interest? Well, I don't know if Golarion has invented the concept of "the restraining order," but that's what this kind of dynamic often results in. Basically, if she said she's not interested, respect that. Don't look for a way around it.

From an out-of-game perspective: if the paladin is controlled by another player, you need to have the utmost respect for their personal boundaries. Run it by them and your DM. Unless your table dynamic is "erotically charged sexventure," caution is crucial. Even then, it's still necessary.

[Psyren]

When the faithful do get married, it is a private, stoic ceremony where vows are exchanged. It happens, but these vows must never contradict duty. Also, there is no marrying anyone outside of the church, so you are gonna have to convert at some point.




...

That alone explains so much about why Iomedae is so bad at being "The Inheritor."

Do you guys have a link/citation for this? My ISG and ISWG don't say anything about that. The only thing I see about marriage is that the church supports healthy relationships and disapproves of adultery, but also provides shelter for endangered spouses who are seeking divorce.

[Geddy2112]

Do you guys have a link/citation for this? My ISG and ISWG don't say anything about that. The only thing I see about marriage is that the church supports healthy relationships and disapproves of adultery, but also provides shelter for endangered spouses who are seeking divorce.

It is not official PF, but I would agree it is a logical inference. Not RAW of course, but here (http://baileymail.net/RP/html/iomedae.html)

[Psyren]

It is not official PF, but I would agree it is a logical inference. Not RAW of course, but here (http://baileymail.net/RP/html/iomedae.html)

What in the Nine Hells is baileymail.net and why do I care about his opinions on Golarion?

And I disagree, it doesn't seem logical at all. "Good implies altrusim" != "convert to my faith or gtfo." ISG specifically states that Iomedans enjoy working with other good faiths, in particular Sarenrae and Torag. Certainly they're receptive of any converts, but they're not going to cut you off if you don't.

[GreyBlack]

I guess my question is whether or not your character can tolerate a person with a stick up their [REDACTED] for more than the morning after. Is your character lusting or pursuing? If the latter, seeking out the Cleric of Shelyn for advice. If the former, then there are plenty of fish in the Inner Sea.

All of Gnorman's points stand as well. If this is a PC, RESPECT THE TABLE BOUNDARIES AND TALK TO THE PC OOC ABOUT IT. If they feel uncomfortable, leave it be.

Also, aforementioned stick? Not applied in a fun way.

[Aleolus]

If you aren't too terribly attached to your current char you could slip her a mickey. The BoEF has several that can work wonders :biggrin:

On a more serious note, first I have to emphasize the earlier points of talking to the player and/or the DM first. If they give the go-ahead, and you're wanting a long-term relationship, then seek out a matchmaker in game, as they will probably have the best knowledge and skills for this.

However, if all you're wanting is a one night stand, then just be honest with her. Go up to her in a tavern or something when you all have some downtime, and say something along the lines of "Look, I get you aren't interested in anything long term with me, and I'm ok with that. But I am so smitten with you, that if I were to die in the line of duty without knowing the joys of your embrace, I would never be able to find peace. All I ask is for tonight, and on the morrow, we shall proceed as though nothing had occured."

From what people on here are saying, Iomeday is against derelection of duty, adultery, and leaving innocents in some form of danger, which a one night stand from two people not engaged in any form of monogomous relationship does not do any of those things, so she shouldn't have any issue with it, unless it goes against her characters personal morals.

[Gnorman]

She's too committed to her mission to spend time on "dallying." I think that would encompass a one night stand, but that's just me.

[Aleolus]

That's why you do it during downtime. The mission may still be there, but its at a point where the group either is allowed or is required to rest for a time before they can or need to continue. Maybe they are waiting on a group of scouts to come back with required intel before they can launch a sneak attack, maybe the king is in a private audience with a powerful mage and they will be discussing matters well into the night, who knows. Even the most devout worshippers have leisure time occasionally.

[Faily]

If she says that she doesn't have time for dallying, and your character has a past as a charmer... well, it's safe to say the lady is being cautious. :smallwink:

Not all Paladins take vows of chastity or celibacy (some do. Some for life, some for a set period), but they recognize that frivilous affairs can be a burden on the party and thus get in their way of faithfully serving their ideals and gods.

What I would advise (after your character decides for himself if she is worth it) is to be a rock in her life. Be supportive, be a friend, and above all, show that you care about her as more than just a romantic interest; even if she doesn't feel the same way, it's a path to a beautiful friendship if nothing else, but she sounds like the kind of lady that you need to prove first of all that you mean serious business and that you will respect her enough to give her space and not come across as pushy or overbearing.

Also, really like the idea of seeking advice from Shelyn priests. :smallsmile:

Of course, this is all with the assumption that both parties have talked this through OOC and the group is fine with a romantic subplot.

[Rhedyn]

Have you ever tried to pick up a date at church?

Have strong opinions about faith. Debate her respectfully about topics. Behave as an exemplar of the faith. Give her the "let's make vows before our Lord" eyes.

[upho]

The first party member he saw was a golden-eyed, golden-haired aasimar in gleaming armor, the very image of a champion of Iomedae.You sure you got her deity right? This sounds like the very image of http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/pathfinder/images/1/19/Sarenrae.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20090527150532not http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/pathfinder/images/2/2d/Iomedae.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20080822133119

Anyways, sounds like you're in for quite a challenge if she's a pally of Iomedae... Good luck!

[Psyren]

You sure you got her deity right? This sounds like the very image of http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/pathfinder/images/1/19/Sarenrae.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20090527150532not http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/pathfinder/images/2/2d/Iomedae.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20080822133119

Anyways, sounds like you're in for quite a challenge if she's a pally of Iomedae... Good luck!

Getting her deity wrong might put a damper on the relationship :biggrin:

[Inevitability]

Getting her deity wrong might put a damper on the relationship :biggrin:

Well, at least he got the alignment mostly right.

Rogue: Welcome home, sweetheart! As you can see, I've prepared dinner! There's gnome purée over here, a bit of elf heart here, and the main course: deep fried dwarf! Oh, and you may notice the purée is moving, but that's just because I paid a wizard to reanimate it. It's supposed to add to the flavor.
Paladin: *gags*
Rogue: This is a bit embarrassing, but... you worship Urgathoa, right?

[Psyren]

Well, at least he got the alignment mostly right.

Rogue: Welcome home, sweetheart! As you can see, I've prepared dinner! There's gnome purée over here, a bit of elf heart here, and the main course: deep fried dwarf! Oh, and you may notice the purée is moving, but that's just because I paid a wizard to reanimate it. It's supposed to add to the flavor.
Paladin: *gags*
Rogue: This is a bit embarrassing, but... you worship Urgathoa, right?

After she runs screaming, maybe he can go for her hot witch sister!

[Hamste]

There are...other ways to make a paladin take notice of you. How evil are you willing to get and how tenacious are you with distorted reasoning? Give me some time and this lass won't remain a paladin for long.

That worked out so extremely well for Black Mage.

[upho]

Getting her deity wrong might put a damper on the relationship :biggrin:Yeah, I thought so. Pallys do seem to be touchy about that thing... :smallbiggrin:


Well, at least he got the alignment mostly right.

Rogue: Welcome home, sweetheart! As you can see, I've prepared dinner! There's gnome purée over here, a bit of elf heart here, and the main course: deep fried dwarf! Oh, and you may notice the purée is moving, but that's just because I paid a wizard to reanimate it. It's supposed to add to the flavor.
Paladin: *gags*
Rogue: This is a bit embarrassing, but... you worship Urgathoa, right?Haha! Now that's what you might call a serious relationship issue! Though if it was the other way around and she was an antipally of Urgathoa, isn't there a chance she might take his mistake as a compliment? I mean, if he's so totally smitten by her charms he didn't even notice her touch seems to do really nasty stuff to people?

No, I guess not...

[Coidzor]

After she runs screaming, maybe he can go for her hot witch sister!

After all, those tiefling girls know how to use their tails. :smallamused: